An Alpen Man in Wishtonia
So, this is my first attempt at something like this. A blog, I guess they call it. This is different for me. I’m sometimes at a loss when it comes to civilian uses of technology. I never saw much use for it until I joined the military. I know that’s kind of far from the rest of my generation, but, that’s just how I am. I’m still amazed at how cell phones work.
You’re probably wondering who I am. My name is Sylvain Renkart. I grew up in a suburb of Schwartzgarten, a bit city in Neu Engollon. Now, as you can probably tell from the title, I no longer reside in the Confederacy. I did well enough in school, then did my mandatory service in the NEDF, specifically, in the Militia. I made it into one of the Alpen Regiments, although that’s not that hard. Half the regiments in the Militia are Alpen, but I guess they’re still considered more elite than regular infantry because you add in those mountaineering skills. The 34th Alpen was my unit, and, as with a lot of other former Neu Engollian soldiers, I didn’t want to give up the lifestyle, so I did another term of service. Then, as many of my countrymen have also done, I decided that I wanted to be paid quite a bit more for my dedication to the military life and also have a chance to see real action. That’s not really very likely in a small neutral democracy. That’s when I walked into the Uli Schwyz recruiting office one fine autumn day.
I ended up in Hutanjia for the War and to help fulfill the USG contract for the Hutanjian government, and there I stayed to find employ with the Hutanjian Republican Army as a company commander. I will get into all that, but I thought I’d start off with a simple, fun topic: Cursing in Wishtonian.
Wishtonians are generally considered to be people from The Cardwith Islands, Hutanjia and Kenega. There are a few other nations that border the Wishton Sea, such as Dachine, and even share some culture and heritage, but usually when people talk about Wishtonians, they’re talking about citizens from these three countries.
Hutanjians are Polynesian in appearance or racial character. Slightly Asiatic features with lighter brown skin. Cardwithians are for the most part Melanesian, that is of a more darker cast than your typical Polynesian and with tighter, curly hair as opposed to straight. There is some blending and you can see some people in both countries that seem of mixed heritage. Kenega has people of both Melanesian and Polynesian heritage, but the majority of them are also of mixed blood with European/Westerner ancestry, courtesy of the Gaulic and Erlenic colonists that settled the island. Kenega has the highest percentage of mixed Westerner heritage in the Wishton Sea. Kenega, it should also be mentioned, is a commonwealth and still owes allegiance to Nyasott, successor to the Erlenic Union. We’ll get into the details of Kenega in a later blog post.
There are three main islands in the Cardwiths, simply named North, East and West Cardwith. There are two main islands in Hutanjia, Nesselberg, which is the Western island, and Nevorn, which is the Eastern island. Kenega is just one little island. One might point out that Nesselberg, Cardwith and Nevorn, not to mention some city names, are odd, Anglo-sounding names for a Polynesian culture, and you’d be right. They were named by the Erlenic colonists who arrived in the early 19th century and none of the Wishtonian nations have bothered to change the names back to the earlier native names, although you still see them used on some documents.
Those that go on to secondary and higher education, which still isn’t a lot in any of these countries, pride themselves on speaking the King’s English. The lower classes speak patois, a mix of native, Gaulic French and Erlenic English words. That’s why they have some of their own cuss words.
I don’t really know their origins, but here are some of the top ones you’ll hear, and when you are there longer than your typical tourist, you’ll hear them A LOT!
So yeah, here goes:
Fideh - This word means ‘fuck’ basically. Depending on usage, it’s a verb, a noun, an adjective, just like our F bomb in English/Common. I hear it pretty casually used to the point that I forget to upbraid my soldiers on using it in public. It’s way too common for a cuss word that it’s probably lost much of its bite.
Pono - Phallus. Yep, the male member. Also pretty casually used. Recently it was allowed to be used on primetime network and cable television in Hutanjia. Interesting side note, the tribal warrior dance that is performed prior to rugby matches and during other important ceremonies is called the Panehu. That’s no accident as to how similar are the two words. The early incarnations of the Panehu were about showing off your manhood in order to prove you were the superior warrior. I have never seen a version of this and being a heterosexual guy, I’m not that eager to, but some groups still perform it for cultural heritage purposes.
Sapa - Feces. Scat. Shit. Honestly, I don’t hear this much. More often they opt for the English slang words for shit, but if you go deep into the jungles in the hinterlands of southern Nevorn and on Nesselberg, and in the southern fishing villages of the Cardwiths, you’ll still hear it.
Kupos - The female parts. The C word. See You Next Tuesday. A bit more taboo in many circles. Worse than any of the above.
There’s a few others, but nothing really worth noting that’s in heavy usage. A lot of it has to do with context and phrasing, which boggles me and I couldn’t possibly explain here in one little blog posting. The Wishtonians, and especially Hutanjians, can get very elaborate with their colorful phrases when ripping someone down.
Please don’t send me angry emails, not that there’s probably many of you reading this. I know they’re cuss words. I just thought it would be a light, funny, simple way to begin my unique intro to the Wishtonian area and culture. Funny as I can be, anyway. I have more blog entries coming and I look forward to your constructive comments. Thanks.
Syl Renkart.
