NATION

PASSWORD

{BOLDSPORT} Low Quality Bonesea Sports News

A battle ground for the sportsmen and women of nations worldwide. [In character]

Advertisement

Remove ads

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{BOLDSPORT} World Cup '77 Qualifying

Postby Bonesea » Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:05 am

Image

Image
Qualifying Round-Up

Sailors Top
A review by Boldsport staff writer Sol Barquío
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

Bonesea won their World Cup qualifying group for the first time despite some nervous moments and the complete failure entirely to beat newcomers Drawkland, who showed their obvious Baptism of Fire semi-final credentials to win an impressive qualification place of their own. Split results against other contenders Jeruselem and Barunia gave the Sailors cause for anxiety both at the mid-point and during the run in, but in the end it was the Tiger Princesses who snatched defeat from the jaws of victory to choke at the last moment and lose a place in San Jose Quebeçois. Stand-out performances across qualification came from Ursell Grayse-Lennox, Idless Jones and Marouaine Wanger Shanty, and as ever our beloved captain Chilli-Bean Acosta. And in his swansong cycle, the mighty Conchobar Wickett once again frustrated doubters as he looked as good at 35 as he ever did, and now approaches his 50th goal for the national team. Lilian Mbo, the Zenegalese immigrant, looked the best he ever has as stand in for Tuw Turk who himself looked out of sorts for most of the cycle. It would have been fair to expect coach Pythagoras Jones to consider Lilian for the starting spot in the tournament, if it wasn’t for the fact he managed to get himself a one match ban for his third booking in the last game of qualifying. Failing to impress this time around were Napoléon, once again picking up a serious injury and missing most of the cycle, while back-up striker Austin Smith wins the prize for most inconsistent, having a couple of absolute blinders, including becoming the first Bonesman to score four goals in an international match, and also pitching in with a couple of shocking howler games for good measure. He’s a mercurial sort of fellow, devastating on his day, and devastatingly off his game when things don’t go his way.

Match by Match

Venue Opposition Result Seq. Line-up Subs

H Witty Penguins 5-2 W Dunbar; Cottle (1); Shanty; Ortiz (2); Jones, N; Jones, R; Acosta; Jones, I; Napoléon; Wickett (2); Turk Mbo; Skewes, A; Tannager
H Quakmybush 2-1 W DunbarYY; Cottle; Shanty; Ortiz; Jones, N; Jones, R; Acosta §; Jones, I (1)YY; Napoléon; WickettYY; Turk (1) § Polgigga; Grayse-LennoxYY
A Barunia 3-2 W Dunbar; Cottle; Shanty (1); OrtizYY; Jones, N (1); Jones, R; Skewes, EA; Jones, IYY; Napoléon (1) §; Wickett; Mbo Witt; Grayse-Lennox
H Willinois 4-2 W Dunbar; Cottle; Shanty; Ortiz; Jones, N; Jones, RYY; Skewes, EA; Jones, I (1); Grayse-Lennox (1); Wickett (2); Mbo Skewes, A; PolgiggaYY; Clapp
A Garifunya 3-1 W Dunbar; Cottle; Shanty (1); Ortiz §; Jones, N; Jones, R; AcostaYY; Jones, I; Grayse-Lennox (1)YY; Wickett (1); Mbo Skewes, EA; Brown
H Who. Tardisia 4-2 W Dunbar §YY; Cottleyy*; ShantyYY; Brown; Jones, NYY; Jones, R; Acosta; Jones, I; Grayse-LennoxYY*; Smith, A (4)YY; Turk Harton; Skewes, EA; GulbrandsenYY
A Drawkland 1-1 D Harton; Polgigga; ShantyYY; Brown; Jones, N §; Jones, R; Acosta; Jones, I (1); Smith, A; Wickett; Turk § CattranYY; Mbo; Gulbrandsen
H Jeruselem 3-4 L Harton; Cottle; Shanty §; Ortiz; Cattran; Jones, R; Acosta (1); Jones, I; Grayse-Lennox (1); Wickett; Mbo (1) Skewes, A; Polgigga; Tannager
A Darmen 2-0 W Harton ©YY; Cottle; Skewes A; Ortiz; Witt §YY; Jones, RYY; Acosta (1); Jones, I (1); Grayse-Lennox §; Wickett; Mboyy* Smith, A; Cattran §; Gulbrandsen
A Witty Penguins 1-0 W Harton ©; Cottle; Skewes A; Ortiz (1); Skewes, EA §; Jones, R; Acosta; Jones, I; Gulbrandsen; Wickett; Gyr, R Grayse-Lennox; Smith, A; Witt §
A Quakmybush 3-0 W Harton ©§; CottleYY; Skewes AYY; Ortiz; Jones, N §; Jones, R; Acosta (1); Jones, I; Gulbrandsen; Wickett (2)YY; Turk Dunbar §YY; ClappYY; Smith, A
H Barunia 0-1 L Jones, G; Cottle; Skewes A; Ortiz; Witt; Jones, R; Acosta; Smith, A; Gulbrandsen; Wickett; Turk Smith, N §YY; Brown
A Willinois 3-1 W Jones, G; Cottle; Brown (1); Ortiz; Witt; Jones, R; Acosta (1) §; Smith, A; Grayse-Lennox (1); Wickett §; TurkYY Gulbrandsen; Skewes, EA; Skewes, A
H Garifunya 2-0 W Dunbar ©; Cottle; Shanty; Ortiz; Witt; Jones, R; Skewes, EA §; Smith, A; Gayse-Lennox (2); McFarland §; TurkYY Clapp; Proteus; Brown
A Who. Tardisia 2-0 W Dunbar ©; Cottle; Shanty; Ortiz; Witt; Jones, R; Clapp; Smith, A (2) §YY; Grayse-Lennox; WickettYY*; Turk Gulbrandsen; Brown §
H Drawkland 2-2 D Dunbar; Cottle §; Shanty; OrtizYY; Witt; Jones, R (1); Clapp; Jones, I ; Grayse-Lennox (1); Gulbrandsen; Turk §YY* Proteus; PolgiggaYY Skewes, A
A Jeruselem 4-3 W Dunbar; Polgigga §YY; Shanty; Ortiz; Witt; Jones, R; Skewes, EA (1)YY; Gulbrandsen; Grayse-Lennox; Wickett (1)YY; Mbo (2)YY; Harton
H Darmen 1-1 D Harton; Cottle; Shanty; BrownRR*; Witt; Jones, RYY*; Skewes, EA; Gulbrandsen; Grayse-Lennox; Wickett; Mbo (1)YY* Skewes, A; AustinYY

KEY: © clean sheet; (1) goals scored; § injured; YY yellow card; RR straight red card; yy two yellows, red card; * suspended; Wickett player of the match

Player Stats

No. Player Pos. Caps Starts Subs Gls R Y Rate PoM

1 Duald Dunbar GK 11 10 1 2* 3 7.32
2 JK Cottle CB 16 16 1 1 3 7.83 1
3 Marouaine Shanty HB 13 13 2 2 9.09 2
4 Skua Ortiz HB 15 15 3 2 6.69
5 Nobb Jones OL 8 8 1 1 7.31
6 Reskadinnick Jones OR 18 18 1 3 6.83
7 Chilli-Bean Acosta IL 12 12 4 2 8.72 2
8 Idless Jones ST 12 12 4 2 9.30 2
9 Napoléon ST 3 3 1 8.17
10 Conchobar Wickett ST 15 15 8 4 9.31 2
11 Tuw Turk IR 10 10 1 3 6.66
12 Par Polgigga CB 6 2 4 0 3 5.38
13 Ansell Skewes HB 10 4 6 0 2 6.47 1
14 Ringbill Brown HB 8 4 4 1 1 5.11
15 Jay Witt OL 10 8 2 0 1 6.47
16 ZC Tannager OR 2 2 0 1 4.65
17 EA Skewes IL 9 6 3 1 2 6.41
18 Teppo Gulbrandsen ST 11 6 5 0 1 6.31 1
19 Austin Smith ST 9 6 3 6 2 8.20 2
20 Ursell Grayse-Lennox ST 14 11 3 7 5 9.34 3
21 Donkey Ray Harton GK 8 6 2 3* 1 6.31
22 Lilian Mbo IR 9 7 2 4 1 4 8.67 2
31 Godfrey Jones GK 2 2 0* 5.90
23 Tallack Austin CB 1 1 0 3.40
24 Bandry Mundy HB 0 0 -
25 Navarino Smith HB 1 1 0 3.80
26 Kite Cattran OL 3 1 2 0 5.17
27 Ruben Roche OR 0 0 -
28 Colan Mackay-Coss CF 0 0 -
29 Tanny McFarland CF 1 1 0 7.70
30 Proteus CF 2 2 0 2.65
32 Idaios Clapp IL 5 2 3 0 5.66
33 Rebbe Gyr IR 1 1 0 5.30

* clean sheets


Image
Player of The Series

New Star Emerges As The Purple Generation Begin To Fade
By Boldsport staff writer Taylah Hotten

Perhaps ‘fade’ is a little harsh. But for most of the Purple Generation - that is the founding team of sailors who took Bonesea to the 62nd Baptism of Fire - this will be their last cycle: Conchobar Wickett had already extended to an extra cycle after announcing his probable retirement after the Cup of Harmony title win and has confirmed this tournament will be his last in the seaman white and wavy blue shirt, while captain marvel Chilli-Bean Acosta and Wanger Shanty have also privately admitted this represents the last throw of the dice for them. Meanwhile no-one would fancy injury-plagued Napoléon to finally live up to the potential he so obviously had, leaving only Skua Ortiz and the Jones brothers as likely candidates for the World Cup ‘78 cycle. While it will be impossible to replace those beloved sailors in an emotional sense - let us not forget also the likes of Scelanius Puffin & Ogden Yellowhammer (retired after the BoF final), KP Scrote (retired after the ‘75 campaign) and Shilling Blue (retired after ‘76) - there was never much doubt others would come through to challenge at least for the minds if not the hearts of churn-loving Bonesfolk: Tuw Turk heralded the way in the first finals campaign and is practically Purple Generation royalty himself. Zipper Smith, JK Cottle and Idless Jones have all won plaudits as some of Bonesea’s finest. And in the World Cup ‘77 qualification cycle, a new star reached those heights, finally fulfilling a potential spotted with his debut four years ago: Ursell Grayse-Lennox, the SS Skiveness striker who has proven ready to take on the mantle that The Conch will drop after these finals.

The outstanding talent to emerge from the WC ’76 campaign, young Ursell got an opportunity early on when Napoléon was crocked, and didn’t look back. Making his debut from the bench in the home defeat to Nephara on matchday 3, Ursell contributed solid performances, a competitive edge and four goals in eleven games. Having been an unused sub on the Tour of Esportiva the previous year, the boy seemed to come from nowhere to make the number 9 shirt his own in qualification, but disappointment was to follow as he picked up an injury in the first game of the glorious Cup of Harmony campaign, missing three games and having to settle for appearing from the bench in the final, with the ignominy of becoming the first Bonesman to be sent off as a substitute. As with most of the Sailors team, he was a disappointment in the home-based Independents Cup a year later, where the team failed to live up to the title of pre-tournament favourites and had a very poor campaign in the inaugural tournament that they invented.

Undeterred, Ursell was handed the same opportunity again in last year’s qualifying campaign, replacing the long-term injured Napoléon for the second consecutive cycle, this time hitting seven goals in fourteen appearances including three from the bench, and winning the highest match-rating average of the campaign to win the title of ‘Player of The Cycle’. Barring injury, he will hope now to press on and take the slot of Striker Number One from The Conch after this tournament, and will be looking to hit the spotlight in Quebec as a starter.

The son of fisherman William ‘Backbone’ Grayse of Skiveness and land reclamation engineer Peggy Lennox, Ursell signed youth terms for The Herrings’ youth team Young Offenders FC, although he was far from being an inmate of the famous institution for naughty Boneskids on the Isle of Skive. William and Peggy have described him as the ‘model child’ (which they would of course - even the Skewes family think their kids are ‘model children’ much to the amusement of anyone who knows them), but coaches at Young Offenders FC and then at SS Skiveness when he graduated to the seniors have spoken of his dedication, hard work, and athleticism. Fast, strong and bold, he is quite prepared to wrestle and roll on the churning field - with twelve yellow cards and one red in international football already, his polite and friendly personality off the field is set aside for a more warrior-like approach on it. But his fierce competitiveness is not his only quality - his turn of speed, general fitness, and anticipation are all impressive, whilst he regularly demonstrates having a good instinct for finishing, both at domestic and international level. When not churning the grease for Bonesea or SS Skiveness, Ursell is a catch inspector at the local fishery, where he is well known for being able to distinguish his cod from his haddock.

Image
The Final Cut Is Actually The Deepest

Sailors’ World Cup Finals Squad (Updated Roster)
Analysis by Boldsport staff writer Tregadillet Treviscoe

Caro Tyree is back!

That is the unmissable headline of The Sailors’ World Cup Finals planning. The fisherman of Tocklehove, star striker of 1.FC at the time when Bonesea signed up for Baptism of Fire ‘62, was discovered floating in the sea in the exact same place and time as where/when the Purple Bruise sank, ten years after he went missing. Partly because of his memory loss, partly the sake of dramatic effect, this remarkable story has barely been told. Nor can I tell it here in full, as the Narrative Committee have barred its use until a more fortuitous time [“Have we?” - Donna Maw, Chair, NC]. In summary, ten years ago in Symmetrical Bonesea Time, Caro and his colleagues of the Bonesea national churning team, bound for Quebec and the Baptism of Fire, were thrust thirty-odd years into the future following a fluid time spill on the HMS Custom of The Sea, and were replaced in Quebec by the sailors of the Custom who managed to hold their temporal position. That, so far as we know, was the end - or pre-beginning, depending on how you look at it - of the original Bonesea squad (apart from a mysterious and disputed sighting of Ingi Quail, Caro’s strike partner, in the haunted Gulf of Esportonkin, in the Sea té Eee deadzone). Presumably we’ll have to deal with them in World Cup ‘83, when we get there. But now - here is Caro again! Frustratingly unable to tell us what the tibia is going on, the forward - aged thirty-two when he went missing, now aged forty-two in purely temporal terms but, according to scientists, only twenty-two years old when studied in DNA tests and by counting the rings in his coccyx. Whatever his correct age, after pumping the saltwater out of his lungs and fortifying him with blotwine, he has demonstrated remarkable fitness and churning freshness, to the point where coach Pythagoras Jones has registered him for the finals squad.

The Narrative Committee - and less strenuously coach Jones - have strenuously denied he’s there purely for story content. “Nonono,” says Donna Maw, very strenuously indeed.

Known for his patience and loyalty, coach Jones has made a couple more bold changes for the finals as he prepares for life without the Purple Generation, whilst giving the veterans one last chance to etch themselves in history with the attempt to reach a third consecutive WWC-sanctioned final. The biggest name in the stay-at-home gang is Napoléon, who despite recovering from a compound metatotti fracture picked up in match day three of qualifying, finds himself surplus to requirements. A fantastic striker who is second in Bonesea’s all-time scoring chart with twenty international goals in 54 appearances, the former Syndicatian-Mertagnese-Quebeçois national is a troubled soul who has somehow unsettled applecarts wherever he has gone - including missing the Independents Cup by running away to Vilita in search of a professional football contract, and largely taking the blame for Bonesea’s anonymous performances in the competition. Winning back Pythagoras’ trust for World Cup qualifying, he was unlucky with the injury which meant he was to miss the greater part of qualifying for the second cycle in a row. Looking to the future and no doubt impressed by Ursell Grayse-Lennox’ stepping up to the mark, not to mention the bizarre re-appearance of Caro Tyree [Ed - which you just did, Trey], it would seem the coach has finally cut Napoléon for good in what will be a sad end to his international career.

Also missing out will be Ringbill Brown, who has been a popular cover player for the best part of a decade with Bonesea winning forty-five caps for his country, eighteen of them from the bench. But his straight red card in the home draw with Darmen in the last game of qualifying means he will miss the entire group stage of the finals through suspension, and coach Pythagoras obviously feels the reserve half-back spot would be best be filled by another reliable - if less experienced - cover player in Navarino Smith. Teppo The Viking (Gulbrandsen) misses out after being shot in Barbary Salé after the sinking of the Purple Bruise, and he will return home for rehabilitation before resuming what is undoubtedly a promising career.

Conchobar Wickett will lead the forward line in his final games on the churning field - he has announced his retirement from domestic and international football immediately following the end of The Sailors’ involvement in this tournament - he will be hoping for a full hand of seven games leading to the final although he probably knows, like the rest of us, that three group games is probably the limit. That will take him to seventy-eight caps for his country in total, and if he can hit three goals in the tournament, the all-time top scorer for Bonesea will complete a haul of fifty goals - more than double his nearest rival Napoléon and, Boldsport might suggest, one that won’t be caught for a decade at least. If ever. Youngsters Tanny McFarland and Proteus Whinchat-Windle are two pretenders to that title in the distant future, and Tanny is along for this tournament - probably to make up the numbers, in truth. But it will be a valuable experience for him. Proteus may have made it but for the sudden appearance of Caro Tyree - he will have to wait for the next cycle.

Image
Cosplay, Chrome and Choking Gas

What Good Honest Bonesfolk Will Have To Deal With In Quebec
Preview by Boldsport chief writers Dub Meadows & Starling Maw

So Coach Pythagoras wants three finals in three cycles, after reaching the Baptism of Fire championship game ten Boney years ago and then the Cup of Harmony final four years ago. It is a bold ambition, if a laughable one. But for the Bonesfolk, that is a good thing: what are we here for, what is the point of us, if not to be laughed at? Do we want to be taken seriously? NEVER! Well. Maybe not never. After all, if we have to shout at someone for being too serious, we would expect to be taken seriously. But that’s probably the only exception to the rule. So laugh away - we want to make the World Cup Final. It would be quite nice to win it, too. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, hmm? Who would like to stop us, and what are the odds that they will?

The omens and precedents are mixed. On the one hand, we’re in Quebec again. It has been a happy hunting ground for the Sailors over the last decade, competing in two WCC tournaments there, playing twelve games in the country and winning all of them. While many teams have struggled with Big Storm which lasted so long and made for terrible conditions, the polar Bonesfolk positively thrived. Although not sent to Iqaluit this time for the minus fifty experience that no-one but the Sailors seem able to cope with, certainly expected temperatures of minus ten to twenty-five will suit Bonesea more than their opponents. On the downside, the final for the Baptism ten years ago meant relocating to Cosumar. We all know how that turned out as Bonesea flipped for the inveterate imitators of Chernodad. And in the one World Cup finals appearance Bonesea has made, an equally impressive unbeaten group qualification was ended in the knockout first round by… Cosumar. As the second-ranked team in the group, the Azure Dragons are the ones Bonesea realistically need to give a bloody nose to in order to progress, assuming all other results go according to rank. The slight problem here is that, as well as having beaten the Sailors once already, Cosumar will be one of the favourites in this half of the draw, to the mind of most neutral observers.

Along with fellow groupmates Chromatika.

Their explosive leap up the rankings has put the Chromatiks right in amongst the favourites as a top four side culminating in a semi-final appearance at the last world cup, and an impressive qualifying campaign suggests they have no intention of plateauing off any time soon. In a pre-qualifying friendly at St. Leah’s Ground a year ago, Chromatika emphatically dispatched the Sailors with a comfortable 3-1 win (the same scoreline, by the way, as Cosumar’s win over Bonesea) in the first game between the two. It would take a mighty shock to pull off a result in this tie, but let’s look back to when Bonesea, fresh off the Baptism of Fire final and a fluke into the World Cup finals thanks to ‘Blexit’ - Swordbloke’s CTE - came up against world number two San Jose Guayabal. Having lost 5-1 and 4-0 to the Guayabalense in pre-qualifying home and away friendlies, the Sailors went on to stun them with a 3-2 victory in the opening group game. What would coach Pythagoras give for another shock like that?

Certainly not making up the numbers in group F but in the outside position are Ethane, who, like Cosumar and Chromatika, have only once before met the Sailors - and like both the other sides, they also scored three goals against Bonesea’s defensively vulnerable 127 Argånger formation. The difference being, in the Tour of Esportiva friendly clash of six years ago, the Sailors managed to put five past the Red Kites in what was an absolute cracker of a match. With manager Curtis Steeling setting up a sturdy defensive formation that impressed in qualifying, going unbeaten in all 18 games and conceding a miserly 8 goals, such a scoreline is hardly likely to be repeated. The Sailors, however, will certainly need to match the result if they are to qualify from the group, so this is seen as a must-win for Pythagoras.

And if The Sailors should prevail in the group?

For a start, one of Boldsport’s favourites for the World Cup will already be eliminated - either Cosumar or Chromatika. And to win through to the final, the Sailors will possibly have to beat one of them again - stacking miracle upon miracle. But, says Coach Pythagoras, that is what you have to do to be a champion. That, or be really - really - good... so miracles required for us then. Looking at the draw, we would argue we are on the weaker side. We’ve avoided The Holy Asylum, we’ve avoided SJG, Nephara and the accursed Marauders. We’ve avoided Farfadillis whom the Bonesfolk always bet on to win even though they never do, and we’ve avoided the Audioslavs who also mostly don’t like to win the World Cup, although they accidentally did a couple of times. So, to some extent, we think we’ve fallen into the easier side of the draw. With one extremely notable exception.

Unified Sunrise Islands.

They may be obsessed with penguintrolls, but they are rather good at the churn. We don’t stand a chance in a month of Spaamdays. All we can hope is that the Chromatiks knock them out first, and then we do something miraculous by smashing the Chromatiks, as a sort of desperately ungrateful-sounding thank-you.

OK, indulge me - Bonesea reaches the World Cup Final: who are most likely to ruin our big day?

The Holy Asylum. So much quality is on the other side of the draw that it is very difficult to predict, but there is something about the momentum of those dreamers, monsters and nonchalant cartoon characters that come barrelling out of the Empire to suggest nothing will stand in their way. I can just about imagine, if Bonesea were to do the impossible and reach the final of the World Cup after consecutive BoF and CoH appearances, that a foggy imperial purple-ink drinking ancient lunatic fringe looking to match the record for most World Cup wins will unfurl some kind of impregnable wyrd-banner all mashed up with poems, essays and champion lies to confound the Sailors as if they were caught in the very doldrums of the multiverse without a breeze or bluster to their name. Could we imagine a way to win? No, not even slightly.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-581

Postby Bonesea » Sun Mar 19, 2017 7:01 am

Image

Image
Bonesligg Champions

SS Skiveness

The Herrings become the first club in twelve seasons to successfully defend their Bonesligg title since Moss FC did it back in the late 'sixties; Audioslav coaches Escobar de Cabanyas and Davin de Valle - Ez & Dav - becoming quite the double act on the Isle of Skive. Built on an formidable attack and abandoning some of their more defensive qualities, watching SS was an absolute joy all season; one in which no club was able to take a definitive grasp on the division, and any of seven teams were still in the title hunt going into the last quarter of the season. In the end SS Skiveness came through to claim that back to back title, becoming the first team to do so on two occasions: only Moss FC and Marine - in their former guise as Spittalmarine - have completed it, both only once. Strike partners Piet Masschelin and young Bonesea international Ursell-Grayse-Lennox were once again imperious, the latter hitting a stunning 32 goals to retain his Golden Boot and claim the Fellows Award for player of the season, while the former was once more the assist king with 23. Cult Heulavian hero Lobjstein rose to the very top of the game in partnering Wanger Shanty in the half-back pair; much-fancied local Bandry Mundy suffered an early season-ending injury to allow 'Lobbo' a starting place in the side, and he took it with both pincers, finishing up third in the player of the season awards behind Ursell and the impressive Leonardo Ducaldo at Grasshoppers. Once again youngsters Fiakr Le Lay, Idaios Clapp and Jeppe Melker all impressed, and were joined by another fine young talent in Innes Malpas, a 17-year old centre-forward who looked very comfortable slotting into a title-winning side and proved to be quite a prospect.

Although not officially retired from playing and still registered for the season, Escobar did not play all season, perhaps deciding that his 35-year old body was no longer up to the task, but more likely accepting that he could not compete with an impressive line-up of centre-forwards that, as well as the near-telepathically linked Ursell and Piet, included the ever-dependable Sted Gluvian and the two bright young things Fiakr and Innes. His joint manager Devin de Valle, by contrast and despite his advancing years - at 34 the oldest to play for the Herrings this season - had a fine season as the reliable head in the team. Sharing outside left duties with young signing Junior Abessou - who showed his brilliance in flashes and the inconsistency of youth throughout the season - he was the ideal rock when Junior wavered. In the end, he probably had his best season for the club. New keeper Margier Simonsen ousted the much-loved Spider Scrivenor and was probably the first, and so far only, decision from the Audioslav coaches that has been questioned by the supporters. Spider went off to provide cover at Torpedo Spitney, while the new Vaettling stopper from Horsa Bold showed a flash of style and an awful lot of heart-in-mouth moments. The loyal Herring Army are yet to be convinced - but they needn't worry: coming through the ranks and putting in good displays when called upon, young Creddan Pound is another impressive Young Offenders FC academy product who should do well in the long term future for SS.

The Herrings were not as fluid as they had been the previous season, showing defensive frailties and a kamikaze approach that has impressed the watching public but will surely give Ez & Dav a few sleepless nights over the winter off-season as they plan for a potential first ever three-in-a-row. The Vaettling combination at the back of keeper Margier and centreback Ragnvald Halle Olsen never gelled and some suggest Margier unsettled the well establish 'Raggy' Olsen into his poorest season for some time, while back-up back Talan Thornton also struggled. But it seems harsh to talk about failings in a review about a glorious title defence. As opinionated famous newspaper-seller and Herrings supporter Odger Lee points out, "for a gallant spirit there can never be defeat." Sticking to diligent journalism here at Boldsport we asked for a clarification from Odger.

"The best way out is always through," he said.


Image
. Bonesligg-One Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 SS Skiveness 36 16 9 11 102 83 +19 57 Oranjibol
2 Athletic Spit 36 15 10 11 68 62 +6 55 Blue Marble
3 Florence Boldclub 36 15 8 13 75 71 +4 53 Blue Marble
4 Grasshopper Club 36 14 10 12 69 55 +14 52 Blue Marble
5 Moss FC 36 13 11 12 86 85 +1 50
6 Viking Tananger 36 14 7 15 73 62 +11 49
7 Start-93 36 13 9 14 71 77 −6 48
8 Marine 36 10 16 10 76 65 +11 46
9 Torpedo Spitney 36 10 10 16 70 97 −27 40
10 Gymnasia Scold 36 10 10 16 63 96 −33 40

There were several big talking points ahead of the start of season SB-581 that we forgot to cover in Boldsport [Ed - we need a staff meeting to discuss this in more detail] including the announcement from the Fellowship of The Greasy Churn - that's the FA to you and me - that as part of a phased programme to further improve the quality of the game in Bonesea, and to broaden participation across the country, reduce the dependency on foreign free transfers, and generally make things more interesting in the official Bonesligg Player Database spreadsheet [Ed - er, what?] the reserve teams of the big clubs would be removed from the league from next season, meaning this would be the last for Athletic-B, Boldclub-B, Moss Reserve, SS-B, Viking-B, and Turbine-B. Indeed, beyond that, an 'adoption' programme of affiliate clubs would allow each of the big teams to link with a lower-league club in order to allow player development and club development for each lucky lower league club to win an adopter. Every club in the top flight would be expected to align with a club in the lower divisions, and to retain a reciprocal arrangement indefinitely. It spells the end of the B-teams, which most observers think is a good think for the churning gene-pool.

More big news followed as giants Spittalmarine officially changed their name back to the original name of the club in it's pre-Bonesligg history, when, without a national league, the old Marine FC were a dominant force in the capital's Spittaligg. Hoping to recapture former glories perhaps, the nostalgic move came out of the blue and, in most fans opinion, without good reason. Certainly it failed to improved fortunes in the churn, as Marine finished another disappointing season in the lower half of the league. Despite a forward line featuring international greats Conchobar 'The Conch' Wickett and Idless Jones, and a host of highly thought-of individuals, Marine has hit a bleak patch.

The top of the table had a familiar look to it at the end, with Athletic and Boldclub both in the mix along with new pretenders Grasshoppers, finishing fourth for the third consecutive season. Moss FC, Viking Tananger and Start-93 were all in range of the top spot going into the final stages of a very close season, Marine struggled, Torpedo were gallant whipping boys in their first season who showed enough signs of a promising future that they may 'do a Grasshopper', and Gymnasia... Gymnasia had a Gymnasia kind of season: bottom of the league again, third cup win in three seasons.

Cumulative Relegation Summary
Bonesligg-1
Avg. 581 580 579
6 Start-93 49.6 48 60 40
7 Marine 47.0 46 46 49
8 Viking Tananger 43.0 49 37 43
9 Torpedo Spitney 40.0 40 - -
10 Gymnasia Scold 37.3 40 37 22



Bonesligg
Final Standings - Lower Divisions

Image
. Bonesligg-Two Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Armada Club 36 16 12 8 68 56 +12 60 Coupe de Moutarde
2 Blue Boys FF 36 15 8 13 81 79 +2 53 Coupe de Moutarde
3 Fishers Grimsea 36 13 13 10 83 73 +10 52 Coupe de Moutarde
4 1.FC Tocklehove 36 13 11 12 87 74 +13 50
5 Turbine FF Gallowsea 36 14 8 14 70 64 +6 50
6 Oysterhaven Reds 36 13 9 14 76 71 +5 48
7 Gullravens FC 36 12 12 12 73 74 −1 48
8 Turbine Moss FF 36 12 10 14 62 76 −14 46
9 Whelm Town Welfare 36 11 9 16 63 78 −15 42
10 17.FF Tolling 36 10 10 16 63 81 −18 40 Relegated


Recent relegation team 1.FC Tocklehove, expected to romp to the Ligg-2 title, found the going a little tougher than expected despite managing to hold on to most of their team from the previous season. Like Turbine FF Gallowsea before them, they have found the level of churning in the second tier of a higher quality than they may have hoped, and while battling for a position in the Colour Cups places, they ultimately missed out in the final weeks of the season. The surprise package were Baston Miller's Armada Club, minnows from the capital who have spent most of their history in the lower echelons of league football, who dominated the division with a bracing style of football to win a first ever Ligg-2 title. Marshalled by veteran captain Cahir Congdon, the Doggers Crew as the Armada are called (a reference to their home ground on Dogside) featured an array of impressive and hungry youngsters, usurping the place at the top that has been contested primarily by Torpedo Spitney and Fishers Grimsea over the years. With Torpedo promoted, Fishers fans may have been looking forward to a fist title in six season, but would ultimately be disappointed as their team only just managed to hold on to a qualification spot for the Coupe de Moutarde, the Taxhavn billionaires invitational tournament much mocked throughout the Boreal Islands (although the prize money is widely welcomed).

Blue Boys FF continue their steady progress toward the top end of the second tier under coach Arlo Smith-Williamson, jumping into second place ahead of Fishers and their very close local rival 1.FC Tocklehove as they shape up for a potential title-challenge in the near future. This is the first time in Bonesligg history they have finished higher than the Tockles and the club from Innstrand may be hoping for further glory in the top flight down the road. Former Bonesligg champions 17.FF Tolling follow the inglorious footsteps of Kickers FF Sand in dropping to the third tier, with Whelm Town Welfare once again managing by the skin of their teeth to avoid the drop - observers will be wondering how much longer their great escapes can continue before they too drop into the abyss of lower league Boney churning.

Cumulative Promotion Record
Bonesligg-2

581 Armada Club
580 Torpedo Spitney *Promoted
579 Torpedo Spitney
578 Turbine FF Gallowsea
577 Torpedo Spitney

Celtic Skein ran away with Ligg-3 to replace 17.FF and they look an impressive prospect for the second tier, where underperforming sides with bigger reputations must be concerned, while recently relegated Skelling Club, favourites for an immediate return, disappointed in finishing 16 points and two places behind. In Ligg-4 the recent relegatees did make an instant return, as Spartans of Liarby took the title ahead of an unusually impressive Combine Tamness-Nordby, the smallest club in the league from out in the wilderness of the Bonesea highlands. There was no relegation from the fourth tier with two reserve teams being removed for the following season, offering a reprieve for East Spit Casuals, while in Ligg-5 Otters Club expectedly won the title as pre-season favourites, and Banners FC Skiveness, bottom of the league last season, also win a promotion by finishing fourth, as the next best non-reserve team required to fill the gap in the division above. Poor old Washaway FC, Ligg-2 champions just eight years ago, won the Rubbishpoon after ending up bottom of the league.

Image
. Bonesligg-Three Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Celtic Club Skein 36 19 10 7 87 53 +34 67 Promoted
2 Academic Spit 36 15 9 12 75 67 +8 54
3 Skelling Club 36 14 9 13 65 68 −3 51
4 1.FC Bøe 36 13 12 11 69 73 −4 51
5 Kickers FF Sand 36 13 9 14 70 86 −16 48
6 SS Amblesea 36 11 13 12 70 63 +7 46
7 Tundra Axle FC 36 11 12 13 61 60 +1 45
8 Guillemots 36 12 7 17 63 76 −13 43
9 Rapid FF Kells 36 9 15 12 55 63 −8 42
10 Stockett Brigade 36 11 8 17 68 74 −6 41 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Four Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Spartans FF Liarby 36 19 9 8 84 36 +48 66 Promoted
2 Combine Tamness-Nordby 36 18 7 11 82 50 +32 61
3 Hearts AFC 36 19 4 13 74 71 +3 61
4 Crows Club 36 17 8 11 77 59 +18 59
5 Boldclub-B 36 16 6 14 65 57 +8 54
6 Rangers Tocklehove FF 36 14 7 15 65 70 −5 49
7 Irsha-57 SK 36 10 11 15 70 89 −19 41
8 Turbine-B 36 9 13 14 59 73 −14 40
9 St. Leah Gaels 36 7 12 17 49 77 −28 33
10 East Spit Casuals FC 36 7 11 18 34 77 −43 32*
No relegation from Ligg-4 with removal of Boldclub-B & Turbine-B from league

Image
Bonesligg-Five Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Otters Club 36 18 9 9 72 56 +16 63 Promoted
2 Moss Reserve 36 15 10 11 71 65 +6 55
3 Viking-B 36 12 18 6 63 57 +6 54
4 Banners FC Skiveness 36 13 11 12 70 61 +9 50* Promoted
5 Blackskull Club 36 14 8 14 69 70 −1 50
6 Aero Fennby 36 12 10 14 72 66 +6 46
7 SS-B 36 11 11 14 52 74 −22 44
8 Athletic-B 36 11 9 16 74 72 +2 42
9 Bannerclub Clun 36 10 11 15 75 75 0 41
10 Washaway FC 36 10 11 15 50 72 −22 41 Rubbishpoon
Moss Reserve, Viking-B, SS-B & Athletic-B to be removed from league


Re-organisation Election
Six replacement teams elected to Bonesligg-5

1 Skullion FF
2 FC Harbourwights
3 Dogside Works SS (merger: Bannerclub FF Dogside & SS Electra Worksclub)
4 Club Zenega
5 Penchant & District
6 Herring Club


Cumulative Re-election Record
Bonesligg-5 Rubbishpoon

581 Washaway FC
580 Banners FC Skiveness
579 Bannerclub Clun
578 Marine-B *not re-elected/[i]
577 Marine-B


Image

Image
Skellingkopfinal

Gymnasia Scold 5-1 Torpedo Spitney H/T 1-0
[i]@ St.Leah's Ground, Spittalsea. Attendance 21,400

Goals: Jalal Serghini (OG) 32' David Caudle 49' Alf Hall 78' 84' Ogma Codd 80' / Blessed Jones 79'

Player of the match: Morgan Salvage (Gymnasia)
Booked: Riaz Yuhanna Teke (Gymnasia); Blessed Jones (Torpedo)


Player Ratings
Gymnasia				Torpedo

Karl Boness [9.5] Jalal Serghini [3.4](OG) Match Statistics
Macario Benítez [8.0] Renato Moleiro [4.5]sub 60'
Skua Ortiz [8.2] Hrut Smith [4.3] Poss (%): 62/38
Ali Toufiq [8.8] Bod Crow [6.2] Shots: 27-13
Morgan Salvage [10-] Metherall Kersey-Ed [6.2] On Target: 13-5
Sæwine Hines [8.5] Flavio Rousso [5.3] Pass Comp(%): 80-65
Huddy Hugus [10-] Boswin Redkite [6.8] Corners: 6-6
Goulchan Omnes [10-]sub 51' Blessed Jones [6.9](1) Fouls: 9-9
Alf Hall [9.7](2) Taaha Sadiq [4.5] Yellow cards: 1-1
David Caudle [9.2](1) Cnán Duck [5.4] Reds: 0
Ogma Codd [8.6](1) Elatha Rule [6.7]

Subs Used Subs Used
Riaz Yuhanna Teke [10-] Bu Griffin [6.3]


Rollercoaster Specialists Do It Again
Gymnasia Scold 5-1 Torpedo Spitney

The two clubs adrift at the bottom of the table come the end of the season went into this extraordinary final hoping for a crumb of comfort to finish the season with, and a stunning late explosion of goals gave Gymnasia Scold an unlikely record-equalling three Skellingkops in a row, all the more remarkable considering their struggles in the league during that period. They have become the specialists in the rollercoaster season, demonstrating in the Kop the enormous potential they have, but failing to translate that in the Ligg. That is a problem veteran manager Wellard Corfe will desperately want to put right next season, but for now he will be celebrating in the town of Scold tonight after masterminding another magnificent performance in this unpredictable competition. Brilliant performances from Morgan Salvage, Huddy Hugus and Goulchan Omnes before he got injured, and then ever-reliable Riaz Yuhanna Teke coming on to replace him, were the cornerstones for a famous and stylish win.

Gymnasia were the better side throughout this game, dominating Kop final debutants Torpedo for large parts of the game, without initially making much impression in the final third of the field. Mulfra Gerbino's newly promoted Spitney side have shown promise throughout a tough season and finished above The Gym on goal difference, and are a team who might well press on next season; but they looked distinctly second best on the day against the side who already have the last two Kops in their trophy cabinet and were obviously confident of a third. The opening goal did not come easily however, and when it did, it was a calamitous comedy error from highly-rated Torpedo stopper Jalal Serghini just after the half-hour mark that broke the deadlock. Receiving an innocuous backpass from halfback Hrut Smith, Jalal fluffed his clearance with an air kick, alerting the lurking Goulchan Omnes to an opportunity who rushed in to attempt a poachers goal. Jalal, panicked, took a second desperate swipe of the ball, which cannoned into Goulchan as he closed down the gap, pinged across to young defender Renato Moleiro who had no time to get into a kicking position, and as he sliced a clearance it went backwards at pace toward hapless Jalal. The unfortunate keeper inexplicable opted to head the ball instead of catch or punch, and even got that wrong as it looped preposterously into the net. There was such a pause before players or supporters reacted, because no-one could believe what they had seen. It was enough to give The Gym a deserved half-time lead.

The only thing lacking from a fine first half performance from Gymnasia Scold was goals, and having won the last two titles with 1-0 wins, nobody could have predicted the goal rush of the second half, especially toward the end when tired players and one team chasing the game opened up the territory for a final flurry. If Torpedo Spitney had hoped for a quick and positive response after half time, they got quite the opposite as David Caudle snatched a second for Gymnasia four minutes after the restart, throwing any plans Mulfra Gerbino had into disarray. Torpedo could not get into the game after that and were desperately chasing the game going into the last fifteen minutes, when veteran Vaettling Alf Hall found space for a fine solo strike to seemingly put the game beyond reach. Torpedo pulled one back within sixty seconds of the restart, their much-loved striker Blessed Jones netting from a fine Cnán Duck needle pass. Sensing a come-back, Torpedo regained possession from The Gym's poor restart, piled forward, and Jones almost struck again, smashing a shot past Karl Boness and against a post. With the ball coming back into play, Macario Benítez hoofed a clearance up to Alf Hall, his header went out wide where eccentric young winger Ogma Codd picked up the stray ball, charged at an almost empty Torpedo penalty box, rounded Renato Moleiro and smashed past Jala Serghini to put Scold three goals to the good again. Four minutes later Alf Hall made it 5-1 to break Torpedo hearts and ensure an extraordinary three-in-a-row for bottom of the table Gymnasia.



Skellingkop Season-581
Round-by-Round

Skellingkop-1

1.FC Bøe 3–5 Torpedo Spitney
Academic Spit 1–3 Moss FC
Stockett Brigade 1–0 Spartans FF Liarby
Rangers Tocklehove FF 3–5 Grasshopper Club
Whelm Town Welfare 1–3 Tundra Axle FC
17.FF Tolling 4–0 Penchant & District
Celtic Club Skein 4–0 Herring Club
Celts Club 0–6 SS Skiveness
Athletic-B 3–0 Armada Club
Blue Boys FF 3–1 1.FC Tocklehove
Viking Tananger 3–1 Turbine Moss FF
SS Amblesea 2–0 Irsha-57 SK
Bonesea Air Force Club 0–5 Combined Varsity Athletics Union
Bannerclub Clun 4–0 Shale Athletics Union
SCB-Alliance 1–5 Rapid FF Kells
Florence Boldclub 5–3 Hearts AFC
Turbine-B 1–0 Guillemots
Combine FF Pikefells 0–3 SS Electra Worksclub
Bannerclub FF Dogside 0–5 Gymnasia Scold
Athletic Spit 0–0 Fishers Grimsea (0–0 AET) (6–5 pen.)
Start-93 10–0 Marine-B
Marine 4–0 Club Zenega
Turbine FF Gallowsea 6–1 Skullion FF
Otters Club 0–0 Moss Reserve (0–1 AET)
East Spit Casuals FC 0–1 Aero Fennby
Gullravens FC 1–1 Crows Club (1–2 AET)
St. Leah Gaels 3–0 Blackskull Club
Oysterhaven Reds 1–5 Skelling Club
Washaway FC 0–0 FC Harbourwights (0–0 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Viking-B 3–0 Boldclub-B
SS-B 3–0 Banners FC Skiveness
Combine Tamness-Nordby 3–1 Kickers FF Sand


Skellingkop-2

Athletic Spit 3–3 Skelling Club (3–4 AET)
Viking-B 1–3 Moss Reserve
Viking Tananger 1–1 SS Amblesea (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Combine Tamness-Nordby 0–3 Tundra Axle FC
Rapid FF Kells 1–1 Grasshopper Club (2–2 AET) (3–0 pen.)
Celtic Club Skein 0–3 Turbine FF Gallowsea
FC Harbourwights 1–4 Moss FC
Aero Fennby 1–1 Stockett Brigade (3–1 AET)
Blue Boys FF 3–0 Crows Club
Gymnasia Scold 3–1 SS-B
Start-93 2–4 Turbine-B
Athletic-B 3–1 SS Electra Worksclub
Torpedo Spitney 1–1 Marine (3–1 AET)
Combined Varsity Athletics Union 0–5 17.FF Tolling
SS Skiveness 10–0 St. Leah Gaels
Florence Boldclub 3–1 Bannerclub Clun


Skellingkop-3

Moss Reserve 0–3 Turbine FF Gallowsea
Skelling Club 1–3 Tundra Axle FC
Athletic-B 1–0 Aero Fennby
Torpedo Spitney 2–2 SS Skiveness (2–2 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Florence Boldclub 3–0 Moss FC
17.FF Tolling 1–1 Rapid FF Kells (2–2 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Gymnasia Scold 5–1 Viking Tananger
Start-93 0–1 Blue Boys FF


Skellingkop-4

Tundra Axle FC 1–0 Rapid FF Kells
Florence Boldclub 1–5 Torpedo Spitney
Turbine FF Gallowsea 1–3 Blue Boys FF
Gymnasia Scold 1–0 Athletic-B


Skellingkop-5

Tundra Axle FC 0–1 Torpedo Spitney
Blue Boys FF 0–1 Gymnasia Scold


Skellingkopfinal

Torpedo Spitney 1–5 Gymnasia Scold



Awards & Records
Season-581

Champions:	SS Skiveness (8th title)
Runners-Up: Athletic Spit
Third Place: Florence Boldclub

Kop Winners: Gymnasia Scold (4th title; 5 finals)
Runners-Up: Torpedo Spitney (1st final)

Tax-Deductable Boreal Superleague Qualifications

Oranjibol: SS Skiveness
Blue Marble: Athletic Spit
Florence Boldclub
Grasshopper Club
C de Moutarde: Armada Club
Blue Boys FF
Fishers Grimsea
Duck Cup: Gymnasia Scold

EkstraKop-581: SS Skiveness vs. Gymnasia Scold
(Super Cup season opener)

Lower Ligg Champions

Bonesligg-2: Armada Club (Cum. 1/5)
Bonesligg-3: Celtic Skein (promoted)
Bonesligg-4: Spartans FF Liarby (promoted)
Bonesligg-5: Otters Club (promoted)
Spittaligg-A: Skullion FF

Player Awards

Fellows Award: Ursell Grayse-Lennox (SS SKiveness)
(Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Leonardo Ducaldo (Grasshopper Club)
Third Place: Lobjstein (SS Skiveness)

Bonesligg-2: Premalen Indra (Armada Club)
Bonesligg-3: Fllipin Irons (Celtic Skein)
Bonesligg-4: YK Tatum-Tintagel (Spartans FF Liarby)
Bonesligg-5: Starn Lee (Otters Club)

Golden Boot: Ursell Grayse-Lennox (SS Skiveness) 32
Runner-Up: Conchobar Wickett (Marine) 25

Bonesligg-2: Ogden Hocking (1.FC Tocklehove 25
Bonesligg-3: Innes Purcer (SS Amblesea) 27
Bonesligg-4: Waterloo Austin (Spartan FF Liarby) 30
Bonesligg-5: Starn Lee (Otters Club) 29

Golden Glove: Gloyas Crowe (Grasshopper Club)
Runner-Up: Donkey Ray Harton (Athletic Spit)

Bonesligg-2: Pramalan Indra (Armada Club)
Bonesligg-3: Pendoggett Barrera (Celtic Skein)
Bonesligg-4: YK Tatum-Tintagel (Spartans FF Liarby)
Bonesligg-5: Crebo Kirkpatrick (Viking-B)

Young Fella: Jay Witt (Grasshopper Club) 20
(Young Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Cnán Duck (Torpedo Spitney) 17
Third Place: Mika Paprika (Grasshopper Club) 18

Bonesligg-2: Jacob Albaston (Blue Boys FF) 19
Bonesligg-3: Pendoggett Barrera (Celtic Skein) 17
Bonesligg-4: Waterloo Austin (Spartan FF Liarby) 20
Bonesligg-5: Eoghann MacMhiadhchain (Otters Club) 20

Argångaward: Escobar de Cabanyas & Devin de Valle (joint; SS Skiveness)
(Coach of The Season)
Runner-Up: Wellard Corfe (Gymnasia Scold)

Bonesligg-2: Baston Miller (Armada Club)
Bonesligg-3: Malia Grew-Marley (Celtic Skein)
Bonesligg-4: Bear Crocker (Spartans FF Liarby)
Bonesligg-5: Joll Capane (Otters Club)



The Golden Watch
Year 581 Inductees

Every year an undefined number of former (and maybe, potentially, current) players, officials and other related staff will be inducted and given an actual commissioned gold watch from the highly sought-after watch maker Schu-Tallinger of Reselia, as well as membership to The Golden Watch club. Membership is given for outstanding contributions to the greasy churn.

Inductee 21:	Tuathal Yellowbill; introverted inside right for SS Skiveness, 22 years, retired.
Inductee 22: Marcellin Gagne (SEP); legendary inside forward for Start-93; 483 apps, 147 goals, 32 red cards.
Inductee 23: Ernie Skewer; crowd favourite centre-forward Grasshopper Club, came through the leagues with them.
Inductee 24: Baba Dika; outside left, captain and legend at Grasshopper Club, 531 appearances.
Inductee 25: Buzza McCarthy; centre forward, player coach and joint manager of Viking Tananger (played 558-581)


PREVIOUS INDUCTEES
Inductee 1:	Pythagoras Jones; first national team manager (SB-572 onwards)
Inductee 2: Des Jeruselem (RKQ); first transgender international for Bonesea (SB-572/74)
Inductee 3: Varrick Jones; player for Athletic Spit (741 apps; 134 goals), retired.
Inductee 4: KP Scrote; outstanding player of BoF’62 & World Cup’75 national squads (SB-572/74), retired.
Inductee 5: Toribio Gallo (TAM); player for Viking Tananger (476 apps; 130 goals), retired.
Inductee 6: Sebastiene Narbonensis (WGT); chair, Fellowship of The Greasy Churn
Inductee 7: Vine Dawkins, CF, played for 1.FC Tocklehove for 22 seasons, 594 games, 243 goals. Retired.
Inductee 8: Kingsley Smith, IR, 503 games for Florence Boldclub, scoring 116 goals. Retired.
Inductee 9: Hermon Tuquevoix, IR, 678 games for Athletic Spit, 185 goals. Retired.
Inductee 10: Professor Kett, manager of Viking Tanager 558-575; assistant manager Bonesea national, co-inventor of the Argånger.
Inductee 11: Billy Sermons; won 16 caps for the national team (SB-572/75), player for Florence Boldclub. Retired.
Inductee 12: Tuelmenna Jones; long-serving striker for SS Skiveness, 26 seasons, 603 games, 311 goals, retired.
Inductee 13: Izzy Worthette; Journalist, editor at Boldsport, for services promoting the sport
Inductee 14: Bodiccius Crane; former halfback for Florence Boldclub, retired
Inductee 15: Jérôme Paris (Septen Islander); former centreforward for Florence Boldclub, retired
Inductee 16: Doctor Iris Gramm (Mother Gramm); director of the Overgiven orphanage, for services to young players
Inductee 17: Kite Bohenna; former outside right at 1.FC Tocklehove (retired SB-580); 533 games for the club. 108 goals.
Inductee 18: Kenny Rising; legendary and beloved halfback at SS Skiveness SB-556-580; 709 games, 31 goals.
Inductee 19: Shilling Blue; centreback of the Purple Generation, played for Start-93. 36 caps, 3 goals, Cup of Harmony winner.
Inductee 20: Julien Thayer (SEP); winger for Viking Tananger, retired.



Ins & Outs
Key Transfer Business - Season 581

In a generally quiet transfer market, something of a return to traditional Bonesea values where few players move around, the main activity involved the relegation and promotion clubs; 1.FC Tocklehove worked hard to preserve most of their team line-up but despite their best efforts, some of their better players opted for positions in the top flight over loyalty to the Tockles - in particular Tamarindian Pablo Barros' switch to title contenders Florence Boldclub. Moving the other way, promoted side Torpedo Spitney recruited heavily, with three decent loan moves and six permanent transfers. Flavio Rousse, Renato Moleiro and Elatha Rule all signed on for a temporary loan role, while the highlights of the permanent signings were SS Skiveness' surprise release, keeper Spider Scrivenor, and the return of the prodigal son Sweeney McCulloch from Start-93 via Spittalmarine, the team he left Torpedo for seven seasons ago.

Name			Nat.	Pos.	Age	Club			Signed From

Sean Noyes BSE IR 29 Athletic Spit Florence Boldclub
Lee Kamine BSE CB 19 Athletic Spit Orphanage u19
Talon Lampkin BSE HB 19 Athletic Spit Ocean Cadets u19

Pablo Barros TAM HB 27 Florence Boldclub 1.FC Tocklehove
Gabriel Brazza ZEN IL 20 Florence Boldclub Viking Tananger
Othergates O'Sullivan BSE CF 24 Florence Boldclub 17.FF Tolling

Adama Koné MAK CF 27 Grasshopper Club Free agent (Makongo)

Macario Benítez TAM CB 19 Gymnasia Scold Sparta Misión (Tamarindia)
GY Crowe BSE IR 23 Gymnasia Scold 1.FC Tocklehove
Kvetoslav Irniq ABI CF 24 Gymnasia Scold SS Skiveness

Ljudevit Kubelik ZZR IL 19 Marine Lutalica Kranj SK (ZZZR)

Lùcas Tolmach SKO HB 22 Moss FC 1.FC Tocklehove
Stennack Stonechat BSE CF 25 Moss FC 1.FC Tocklehove

Margeir Simonsen VAE GK 27 SS Skiveness Horsa Bold (Vættr)
Junior Abessou ZEN OL 18 SS Skiveness Athletic Spit
Esben Hagebak VAE CF 29 SS Skiveness 1.FC Tocklehove

Sully Gueye ZEN OL 21 Start-93 Red Arrows (Zenega)

Flavio Rousse TAM OR 21 Torpedo Spitney Grasshopper Club (Loan)
Renato Moleiro RED CB 19 Torpedo Spitney Florence Boldclub (Loan)
Elatha Rule BSE IR 21 Torpedo Spitney Florence Boldclub (Loan)
Taaha Sadiq BBS CF 28 Torpedo Spitney Viking Tananger
Knut Plain BSE GK 31 Torpedo Spitney Florence Boldclub
Bu Griffin BSE CB 22 Torpedo Spitney Florence Boldclub
Jústi Long TXH IL 30 Torpedo Spitney FTK (Taxhavn)
Spider Scrivenor BSE GK 26 Torpedo Spitney SS Skiveness
Sillian Drake BSE OL 26 Torpedo Spitney Florence Boldclub
Sweeney McCulloch SKO CF 28 Torpedo Spitney Start-93

Idriss Labo ZEN HB 25 Viking Tananger Grasshopper Club
Esquivel Lopes KKA IR 24 Viking Tananger 1883 Dákura Fútsal (Kukalaya)


Image
The Johnny Foreigner Report

The Low Down on our Bonesligg Migrants - Season 581
by Boldsport staff writer Johnny Foreigner

As the Fellowship of the Greasy Churn - that’s the Bonesea FA to you and me - opened the doors to travelling footballers from beyond the region of the Wide Enness Ocean for the first time, Season 54 welcomed a dozen or so prospectors looking for a new opportunity in this far-flung corner of the multiverse, intrigued perhaps by the sudden and surprising success of the Bonesea national team in recent WCC-sanctioned events. More followed this season, hoping to build on the welcome and the success of the first wave.

Our compadres from around the region have been coming here for decades of course, and in the likes of Chilli-Bean Acosta and Lilian Mbo we have Tamarindians and Zenegalesi taking the Oath of Fealty, becoming boney-fide citizens and pulling on the shirt of The Sailors to represent, so it’s not like we’re not used to foreign types coming over here, showing us how to apply the greasy churn: we love it. All welcome. Always have been, always will be. Well, apart from Homo Alfus. And religious types. Oh, and Gregorians, unless they are refugees from the system like our loyal National Butler, Benny Gruelmaker. But apart from them, everyone’s welcome.

Of course, the way we play it at home is a little… rougher… and muddier… and… greasier... than the widely appreciated international variant of Association Football; in Greasy Churning, one must be prepared for a spot of wrestling. It won’t be everyone’s cup of Boney Tea, that’s for sure. So who made the switch with bruising grace? And who got floored on their first outing? Welcome to the Johnny Foreigner Report, your annual round-up of the Football Migrants gracing our game.


Naturally, with the strictly amateur rules in place and the generally low ranking of the Bonesligg, no-one was expecting the Galacticos to turn up in chilly Bonesea; clubs are not yet permitted to pay salaries or transfer fees, so we already knew this would be a hunting ground for journeymen grafters and youngsters perhaps looking for a second chance after failing to cut the mustard back home. What everyone hoped was that one or two rough diamonds might be unearthed to bring something a little more exotic to the game. And there were certainly a few of them - emphasis on rough.

Johnny Foreigner Award SB-581
Leonardo Ducaldo

Centre forward, Grasshopper Club

Hitting twenty-one goals in thirty-six appearances for the Hoppers, Leonardo Duclado finally hit the top spot in the Johnny Foreigner Award after coming close in the previous two seasons - and the win was against a backdrop of several impressive foreign appearances from title winners SS Skiveness, and fellow countrymen and team-mates Mika Paprika and Mateo Rossini - both debuting in the Bonesligg this season at Grasshopper and taking the league by storm. All three may be low-grade rejects from the world power of youth production, but in Bonesea they are proving to be some of the best churners in the league. Leonardo looked the best of them, although his stats were slightly down on the previous season when he hit 24 in 33; but his average rating jumped by two full points as he showed his confidence in the league and growing composure on - and off - the ball. Linking well with half-Ossidiacquan [Ed - who even knew they were still in the world?] half-Sunrisian Mateo Rossini, he terrorised defenses with pace, vision and physicality; never shirking his workoad, he's a hugely popular figure up in Fennby.

A Sunrisian out of the Project +90 academy in San Jose Guayabal - it looks like he jumped just in time with the project there looking on decidedly shaky ground and an impending cataclysmic termination event on the cards. Grasshoppers won't mind at all - he accounted for a third of their goals this season, and close to half last - as they build toward a challenge on the title, their stated aim under dynasty-building manager Otter Harrigan.


Performance Summary*

Name			Nat.	Pos.	Club			Apps.	Gls.	Rating


Leonardo Ducaldo USI CF Grasshopper Club 36 21 9.21
Lobjstein HUE HB SS Skiveness 40 1 9.14
Mika Paprika USI HB Grasshopper Club 32 1 9.04
Piet Masschelin VLG CF SS Skiveness 33 22 8.94
Carmelo Karl SEM CF Athletic Spit 28 16 8.79
Asteróide DAI CF Florence Boldclub 39 14 8.75
Mateo Rossini USI/OSS IR/L Grasshopper Club 27 12 8.71
Jeppe Melker SEM IR SS Skiveness 27 9 7.97
Devin de Valle AUD OL SS Skiveness 20 4 7.83
Adel Nzonzi SEM OR SS Skiveness 38 15 7.82
Renato Moleiro RED CB Torpedo Spitney § 40 3 7.54
Jannick den Linds SEM HB Marine 37 0 7.34
Hércules Menezes USI CF Athletic Spit 36 18 7.26
Matthias Eggleton SEM CF Grasshoppers 13 8 7.21
Zé Caramba USI GK Marine 12 4# 6.88
Karl Boness SEM GK Gymnasia Scold 29 3# 6.40
Delmar Baxter SEM IR SS Skiveness 3 0 6.33
Erik Marlowe NPH CF Florence Boldclub 18 8 5.92
Schreck DAI IL 1.FC Tocklehove 26 3 5.75
Filipp Nashoba ABI CF Moss FC 38 11 5.51
Kvetoslav Irniq ABI CF Gymnasia Scold 19 7 5.47
Anders Boness SEM GK Gymnasia Scold 10 2# 5.35
Paracoílson CPV CF Florence Boldclub 6 0 4.81
Vojislav Pitalesharo ABI CF Start-93 11 2 4.50
Jojo Valentine USI CB SS-B - - -

#Clean sheets
§ on loan from Florence Boldclub


Youth Players

Mochi Yoshinami USI CF Grasshopper u19
Jørgen Berthelsen USI IR Grasshopper u19
Scott Balde USI GK Grasshopper u19
Cocó USI IR Bold Youth
João Batata USI OL Bold Youth

* excludes players from Wide Enness Ocean region


OOC Note
I'm attempting to run one season per RL calendar month (season SB-581, here, is for February '17) based on my general rule of thumb that one RL month = one NS year (Boneytime). Generally that fits with a 4-year WC cycle - but not with a seasonal UICA cycle which seems to be running slower than WCs now. This will have an ageing impact on overseas players who come to Bonesea with a different ageing pattern. It may be impossible to resolve this satisfactorily with people using different interpretations of time; I'd suggest the Fluid Time refinery based in Whelm, akin to a leaky and unstable nuclear power plant, may be responsible for irregular ageing processes that will naturally be reversed without medical intervention when characters return to other regions of the multiverse and spend time in more temporally stable environments. i.e. you age them as you see fit... Always open to ideas, suggestions and collaborations on this point, via TG initially.
Last edited by Bonesea on Fri Apr 07, 2017 1:21 am, edited 3 times in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{BOLDSPORT} World Cup '77 Finals

Postby Bonesea » Sun Mar 19, 2017 1:03 pm

Image


Image
Finals Round-Up

Boldly Going Where No Boney Has Ever Gone Before
A review by Boldsport staff writer Sol Barquío
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

The Sailors may have fallen short of their stated aim to reach three consecutive WCC finals - always a preposterous boast - but have firmly cemented their standing inside the top echelon of international football with another impressive showing in the World Cup Finals, bowing out at the quarter-finals stage with some decent scalps along the way, and going further in the competition that had previously managed. Excellent wins over Chromatika and Ethane in the group stage were tempered with another pasting by Cosumar, but Bonesea had done enough to win the group and set up a first time clash with former champions Pasarga in the round of sixteen. Having previous fallen short at this stage - to those pesky Cosumarites - the Sailors went a step further with a brilliant counter-attacking victory over the Wanderers. Into the quarterfinals for the first time, the Sailors reprised their one previous meeting with the mighty Vilitans, which they had won 3-2 in a stunning group victory in World Cup ‘75. Their luck ran out this time around as the Jungle Cats pounced for a dominant 4-2 win, ending another impressive campaign for coach Pythagoras Jones and his boys.

Top scorer in the group stages with five goals in three games, the veteran Conchobar Wickett had already announced his imminent retirement and seemed to be going out on a determined high when injury struck late in the group defeat to Cosumar, ending his tournament and his impressive career for the national team, with 78 caps and a likely uncatchable 52 goals to his name. It was a disappointing end to this competition for The Conch but as he said himself, no-one really expected to qualify from the group anyway with both Cosumar and Chromatika ranked above the Sailors, so for him it was three games and out as planned. Most of the team carried on for another two games and Ursell Grayse-Lennox, player of the qualifying cycle, continued to demonstrate his credentials as The Conch’s most likely replacement. With Teppo The Viking injured for the tournament after a shooting on the Barbary Coast, the way was open for the extraordinary and as yet inadequately explained return of Caro Tyree, who went missing ten years ago and turned up just before the start of the finals tournament, also off the Barbary Coast. He may be the only player in history who competed in a Baptism of Fire in the future and has, allegedly, travelled back in time to appear in a World Cup twenty four years earlier.

The World Cup finals will also see the last appearances of Purple Generation stalwarts Wanger Shanty and much loved captain Chilli-Bean Acosta, the record caps holder, as well as veteran striker Idless Jones. All performed with distinction alongside The Conch and will go into the record books as some of Bonesea’s finest.


Image
Player of The Series

The Best To The Last
By Boldsport staff writer Taylah Hotten

It is not from sentimentality that Conchobar Wickett wins player of the series, though surely if anyone has earned that right, it is The Conch. With 52 goals in 78 appearances for his country, he is the reigning greatest striker in Bonesea’s short history - and that doesn’t look like it will be surpassed any time soon (no disrespect intended for the emerging crop of very decent forwards). Announcing his retirement from both international and domestic football ahead of this tournament, and limiting himself to however many games the Sailors could manage in the World Cup finals, he was bang on for an impassioned commemoration regardless of how he got on in the difficult matches ahead. But the fact is, with five goals and two MVP awards in the three games of the group stage, he was already contender for player of the tournament not just for the Bonesea audience, but for the entire competition. Disaster struck late in the final group game, a brutal defeat at the hands of Cosumar when the business of qualifying to the knockout rounds was already wrapped up, as The Conch hit the deck after a heavy challenge. After being stretchered off, it emerged the legendary striker had conflagrated his liriope, effectively ending his tournament. So impressive had been his contributions up to then, however, that in two further games in the knockout stages, despite both matches being impressive showings from the Sailors, no-one was able to eclipse him, and the lad deservedly wins the Bonesea MVP award in his outgoing tournament.


TOMORROW in your Boldsport: The What The Who Special with Ana Dipper
A Farewell To The Purple Generation

'The Conch' was unquestionably player of the debut WC-75 cycle for Bonesea with his athleticism, aggression and instinct for goal, returning an impressive goal every 180 minutes on average through his early international career. Set to lead the forward line for two further cycles, he was a fans favourite who has caught the eye of a number of international club scouts in his time, but his domestic team Spittalmarine managed keep hold of him on strictly amateur terms. As was predicted before the start of Bonesea’s BoF-62 campaign, The Conch turned out to be a decent footballer despite several years spent at sea on the HMS Custom. Naturally athletic and legendary in sailor's retreats all over the Wide Enness Ocean for his gymnastic prowess, Wickett could not only score in a brothel but would probably hit a brace in a convent. The only son of a remote hill-farming family, he's surprisingly cultured and has an enormous shoe size. The Conch is top scorer for the national team and continued to look the real deal when pitted against some of the very best international defenders from his debut to his last game. It's worth noting that Conchobar's heart is still with the sea: he worked on the Coffin Harbour Lifeboat when not training for his football club during his churning years and returned to the HMS Custom of The Sea upon retirement, spurning several offers to go into coaching.

While unquestionably player of the ‘75 cycle for Bonesea, it did not go well for him second time around in ‘76, with injury and poor form hampering him, and the loss of his natural partner Napoléon taking the edge off his scoring record, as he managed a poor return by his standards of 2 from 8 appearances. This made it the first campaign in which he failed to get the country’s golden boot, and he looked conspicuously past his best. The Cup of Harmony became a big stage for him to recover his rightful place at the top of the striker list, and he did just that, winning player-of-the-match in the final where he scored twice. Making noises of retirement during the campaign, he announced he’d give it one last tournament, with everyone hoping for a glorious one. Leading the forward line in his final games on the churning field in World Cup '77 took him to seventy-eight caps for his country in total, and with five goals in the tournament, the all-time top scorer for Bonesea complete a haul of fifty-two goals - more than double his nearest rival Napoléon and, Boldsport might suggest, one that won’t be caught for a decade at least. If ever.


Image
The Greasy Churn: Next Generation

As The Purple Generation Bows Out, What Next For Pythagoras?
Analysis by Boldsport staff writer Tregadillet Treviscoe

Ursell Grayse-Lennox has been widely discussed as coach Pythagoras Jones’ natural replacement for Conchobar Wickett and there is no doubt he has really nailed his colour to the mast with impressive and consistent displays through qualifying, and then into the finals where he never for a moment looked overawed. While there is wide agreement - based part in studied opinion and part in sentiment - that The Conch will never be overhauled as Bonesea’s greatest striker, there is no doubt that Ursell now has secured his slot as a very decent replacement, and that will come as a great relief to coach Pythagoras. The sudden re-appearance of Caro Tyree, the promising cameos from Tanny McFarland and the battling qualities of Teppo ‘the Viking’ Gulbrandsen - missing from this tournament with a bullet wound injury - suggest that options are good for rotation. With Idless Jones also retiring after an impressive final tournament for the national team, it does look like the coach has strength in depth up front. Of the candidates to partner Ursell, Teppo looks the most exciting - a bruiser and warrior in the favoured style of the Bonesea churn, he could form the perfect partnership for some time to come. Tanny McFarland looks a good third option although he’s more technical and less physical than Teppo, while Caro Tyree is still something of a mystery. A fine striker ten years ago when he went off to the Baptism of Fire and disappeared en route, he returned with two performances that showed promise, but he looked a fair way off the pace. The coach says the 42-year old (or possibly 32-year old, depending on which timeline you subscribe to) has the physical condition of a 22-year old, and feels he has some years ahead of him. No-one knows how.

With our beloved captain dropping out and half-back hero Wanger Shanty also announcing he’s played his last international game, direct replacements are already looking assured in the Skewes cousins EA and Ansell, for Chilli-Bean and Wanger respectively. The two have been around for some time as back-ups and impressed all the way - this is their time to shine. Also emerging to add competition for places include the impressive young Idaios Clapp and Florence Boldclub star Tathai Rigby in the inside forward role, while at half-back Lash Jones, another of the Jones footballing dynasty, has not yet had a fair run at the role with Wanger, Skua Ortiz and Ringbill Brown dominating the position for the national team. As both Wanger and Ringbill are now at the end of their international careers, this may be the chance Lash richly deserves. Another youngster at Grasshopper Club, Cerebral Siskin, is one to watch who may emerge to challenge the old order for a place on the squad.

But who looks the next natural captain? Without doubt, cultured centre-back JK Cottle looks the most likely to get the nod from coach Pythagoras. However, at 30 he probably has one more cycle in him and the coach may opt for a longer-term solution. The Skewes cousins are certainly battlers and great on the field leaders, but their natural criminal disposition as inheritors of the Skewes family inclinations is something that some consider an issue, and they may be deemed too hot for the important ambassadorial aspects of the role. Though eccentric and temperamental, talented young keeper Donkey Ray Harton may be just what the coach is looking for. Expect him to go with JK for the next cycle - but the vice-captain announcement may tell us what we need to know about coach Pythagoras’ long term thinking.


TOMORROW in your Boldsport: The What The Who Special with Ana Dipper
A Farewell To The Purple Generation
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-582

Postby Bonesea » Sun Apr 09, 2017 4:28 pm

Image

Image
Bonesligg Champions

Athletic Spit

The Ancients took their eighth title to prevent SS Skiveness becoming the first team to win three consecutive Bonesligg championships; but it was Start-93 who gave them their closest run for their money, finishing second only on goal difference and rueing a 0-3 defeat at home at the Recreational Ground in Gannet with three games to play that effectively lost them the title. Athletic were deserved winners however with some fine football played during the season and some impressive transfer market activity making all the difference after two seasons chasing in the wake of a resurgent SS. The signing of international centre-back Par Polgigga from cross-town rivals the Boldclub was one of the biggest surprises of the pre-season and proved to be a shrewd move, as the jaded defender was very much back to his imperious self during a title-winning season. Having lost his national team place to JK Cottle - himself a former Athletic defender now enjoying life in Schottia - Par will hope his impressive season will fire him back into the national squad. Other canny transfer activity involved the signing of impressive young Suumnerian Vilhelmi Lahtinen from Vaettling side Heikkurintie-80, and he settled impressively to form a solid partnership with Polgigga and Lash Jones, himself growing in stature and at 23 having plenty of years ahead of him. His older brothers, wingers Reskadinnick and Nobb, were once more in fine form, with Nobb unusually eclipsing his older brother in a standout season to take the Fellows Award for player of the season. Another Jones boy, Cade, 18, made his full debut during the season as a centre-forward and looked as good as any of the brood.

Athletic's success was built on that solid foundation and they didn't need quite the same dynamism up front, where the foreign trio of Moussa Irakoze (Zenega), Hercules Menezes (USI) and Carmelo Karl of Semarland looked tentative at times, although Karl had his best season in the black, white and burgundy of The Ancients. A comparatively young side, coach Ruan Buzzard will feel they have their best years ahead of them, and with a number of talents impressing in the youth team at present, things have never looked better at St.Leah's Ground. The biggest issue for Athletic has been season-on-season consistency, but coach Buzzard is building a team to challenge for some time to come and they will expect to mount a serious title defence next time around. Showing perfect timing, the Ancients have won the title in a UICA-qualification season and will look forward to a run in the international club competitions, hoping to emulate Florence Boldclub's impressive run to the Globe Cup quarterfinals last cycle.


Image
. Bonesligg-One Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Athletic Spit 36 17 8 11 74 63 +11 59 Champions' Cup 67
2 Start-93 36 16 11 9 75 67 +8 59 Globe Cup 64
3 SS Skiveness 36 16 7 13 87 78 +9 55 Globe Cup 64
4 Grasshopper Club 36 16 6 14 84 77 +7 54 Globe Cup 64
5 Florence Boldclub 36 14 8 14 79 82 −3 50
6 Moss FC 36 12 13 11 65 59 +6 49
7 Marine 36 13 10 13 68 78 −10 49
8 Gymnasia Scold 36 12 12 12 77 80 −3 48
9 Viking Tananger 36 10 9 17 88 87 +1 39
10 Torpedo Spitney 36 9 6 21 36 62 −26 33


Start-93 were once again hugely impressive despite the odds and the lack of resources, and it is little wonder coach Buccus Hike took the season's Argånger Award for best coach, as he took his side to within a heartbreaking three goals of the title, tying on points with eventual champions Athletic. As in the last UICA qualification cycle, Start will take the second spot and a place in the Globe Cup. Amber Islander Vojislav Pitalesharo finally came good up front with a fine season, his best yet, ably supported by fine young midfield potential Osric Bunker, who looked so impressive in his breakthrough season. Supporters at SS Skiveness will be bitterly disappointed that after two magnificent titles, they were unable to maintain momentum in a UICA season, dropping to third. Joint Audioslav coaches Escobar de Cabanyas and Devin de Valle were looking to make history with a third consecutive title, but will have to settle for a Globe Cup place as they finished off the pace during the final run-in, although a bright spot for them was the fine midfield mastery of Adel Nzonzi, who won the Johnny Foreigner Award for best non-Boney player in the league, and was runner-up to Nobb Jones in the player of the season award. Grasshoppers completed their fourth consecutive fourth-placed finish, seeming somehow to have reached a plateau, but look for them to push on sooner rather than later - some have them as outside tip for the title next time.

Florence Boldclub, in finishing fifth, had their most disappointing season for some time, but won plaudits for the introduction of young Sunrisian inside right Cocó, who becomes the first woman to compete in the Bonesligg; and she more than held her own in the rough and tough of the greasy churn. At the bottom, Torpedo failed to press on despite some impressive squad-building over the last couple of seasons. With Gymnasia getting themselves out of the doldrums finally, and Viking looking a poor shadow of their former selves when, at the height of his game Chilli-Bean Acosta was leading the southerners to a Ligg title, there was some reshuffling of the order at the bottom. Following a second consecutive title for Ligg-2 side Armada, three clubs especially - Viking, Gym and Torpedo - will be vulnerable for the next three seasons, when one more title for Armada will be enough to relegate someone. Presently, Torpedo are in the frame.

Cumulative Relegation Summary
Bonesligg-1
Avg. 582 581 580
Moss FC 52.0 49 50 57
Marine 47.0 49 46 46
Viking Tananger 41.6 39 49 37
Gymnasia Scold 37.6 48 40 25
Torpedo Spitney 36.5 33 40 -



Bonesligg
Final Standings - Lower Divisions

Image
. Bonesligg-Two Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Armada Club 36 19 5 12 72 62 +10 62 Series B Champions Cup
2 Celtic Skein 36 14 11 11 82 83 −1 53 Series B Champions Cup
3 Blue Boys FF 36 13 11 12 69 63 +6 50 Series B Champions Cup
4 Gullravens FC 36 14 8 14 70 81 −11 50
5 Fishers Grimsea 36 12 13 11 79 72 +7 49
6 Oysterhaven Reds 36 13 9 14 90 77 +13 48
7 1.FC Tocklehove 36 11 14 11 72 60 +12 47
8 Turbine FF Gallowsea 36 11 11 14 68 73 −5 44
9 Turbine Moss FF 36 10 14 12 47 66 −19 44
10 Whelm Town Welfare 36 10 10 16 81 93 −12 40 Relegated


The capital city Armada Club continue to defy the odds with a second consecutive Ligg-2 title and a place in the Series-B Champions Cup for the first time, as they ran out distant winners of the second tier from annual contenders Blue Boys FF and another surprise package in runners-up Celtic Skein, who won Ligg-3 last season. A third title in the next three seasons will be enough to promote Armada into an unlikely Ligg-1 place. Celtic Skein have made no bones about their ambition to reach the top tier and will be the main contenders for the next couple of seasons at least. Led by female coach Malia Grew-Marley, Celtic were clearly best-of-the-rest all season long and may well compete for the title next time around. Fishers Grimsea were disappointing as perennial title favourites, finishing a distant fifth and missing out on a second tilt at the SBCC in which they performed really well last time to reach the group stages. At the bottom Welfare completed what they had long ominously promised and dropped into the third tier for the first time in their history. The sister Turbine clubs of Moss and Gallowsea also both struggled and will find the going tough next time around. Gallowsea's long stay in the top flight now seems a distant memory and their cross-town rivals Gullravens are now regularly outperforming them, this time just missing out on the final SBCC place on goal difference from Blue Boys FF of Innstrand.

Cumulative Promotion Record
Bonesligg-2

582 Armada Club
581 Armada Club
580 Torpedo Spitney *Promoted
579 Torpedo Spitney
578 Turbine FF Gallowsea


Another name change for the club from Amblesea seems to have done the trick this time around as Industria SS - formerly SS Amblesea and SS Industriell - took the title and reach the second tier for only the third time in their history, pipping Skelling Club to the spot, with the latter hoping for an instant return after relegation last time around. Rapid Kells join Hearts AFC and Washaway FC as one of the big hitters fallen on hard times, as they plunge into the fourth tier. They will be replaced by country bumpkins Combine Tamness-Nordby, the two-village team that defies the odds every time they turn up with a full starting line-up and a couple of terriers on the bench. While Otters Club drop into the basement again after just a single season in Ligg-4, they are replaced by Bonesligg debutants Penchant & District, the former Spittaligg challengers who were one of six new clubs in the bottom division replacing former reserve sides now banned by the Fellowship of The Greasy Churn. Another debutant in FC Harbourwights found the going somewhat harder to complete the season in the Rubbishpoon last place, despite the experienced management hand of Paracóilson guiding the team in his debut player-coaching season.

Image
. Bonesligg-Three Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Industria SS 36 19 7 10 86 56 +30 64 Promoted
2 Skelling Club 36 17 12 7 79 56 +23 63
3 Spartans FF Liarby 36 16 9 11 81 58 +23 57
4 17.FF Tolling 36 15 10 11 87 71 +16 55
5 Kickers FF Sand 36 16 6 14 68 78 −10 54
6 Guillemots 36 13 8 15 56 63 −7 47
7 1.FC Bøe 36 12 9 15 77 69 +8 45
8 Tundra Axle FC 36 9 12 15 63 91 −28 39
9 Academical 36 11 6 19 57 87 −30 39
10 Rapid FF Kells 36 8 9 19 66 91 −25 33 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Four Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Combine Tamness-Nordby 36 16 11 9 79 52 +27 59 Promoted
2 Hearts AFC 36 15 10 11 66 69 −3 55
3 Crows Club 36 16 6 14 82 62 +20 54
4 Banners FC Skiveness 36 14 11 11 68 53 +15 53
5 East Spit Casuals FC 36 16 5 15 80 75 +5 53
6 Stockett Brigade 36 14 10 12 73 67 +6 52
7 St. Leah Gaels 36 13 11 12 59 58 +1 50
8 Irsha-57 SK 36 11 12 13 52 64 −12 45
9 Rangers Tocklehove FF 36 9 13 14 56 81 −25 40
10 Otters Club 36 6 11 19 54 88 −34 29 Relegated

No relegation from Ligg-4 with removal of Boldclub-B & Turbine-B from league[/pre]
Image
Bonesligg-Five Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Penchant & District 36 19 8 9 63 42 +21 65 Promoted
2 Bannerclub Clun 36 16 6 14 69 77 −8 54
3 Blackskull Club 36 15 8 13 70 60 +10 53
4 Herring Club 36 13 14 9 51 46 +5 53
5 Washaway FC 36 13 11 12 74 70 +4 50
6 Aero Fennby 36 13 11 12 81 79 +2 50
7 Club Zenega 36 14 5 17 58 68 −10 47
8 Skullion FF 36 11 10 15 55 62 −7 43
9 Dogside Works FF 36 11 10 15 40 52 −12 43
10 FC Harbourwights 36 8 11 17 52 57 −5 35[/b][/color] Rubbishpoon


Cumulative Re-election Record
Bonesligg-5 Rubbishpoon

582 FC Harbourwights
581 Washaway FC
580 Banners FC Skiveness
579 Bannerclub Clun
578 Marine-B *not re-elected/[i]


Image

Image
Skellingkopfinal

Viking Tananger 1-0 1.FC Tocklehove H/T 1-0
[i]@ St.Leah's Ground, Spittalsea. Attendance 21,400

Goals: Teppo Gulbrandsen 44'

Player of the match: Teppo Gulbrandsen (Viking)
Booked: Lamonaco (Viking) / Faolan MacAomalain (1.FC)


Player Ratings
Viking Tananger				1.FC Tocklehove

Lamonaco [9.5] Antilochos Morton [3.4] Match Statistics
Eden Visdeloup [8.0] Dew Wherry [4.5]sub 60'
Wilkie Banda-Scrote [8.2] Laars Landt [4.3] Poss (%): 62/38
Syvwlch Gower [8.8] Artan Smith [6.2] Shots: 27-13
Calvo Jones-Watergate [10-] Nos Nuthatch [6.2] On Target: 13-5
Perren Smith [8.5] Faolan MacAomalain [5.3] Pass Comp(%): 80-65
Chilli-Bean Acosta [10-] Schrek [6.8] Corners: 6-6
Teppo Gulbrandsen [10-](1) Rhod Tonkin [6.9] Fouls: 9-9
Tomás Quinlan [9.7] Caro Tyree [4.5] Yellow cards: 1-1
Proteus [9.2] Gil-Eathain Catach [5.4] Reds: 0
Lilian Mbo [8.6] GR Trythall [6.7]

Subs Used Subs Used
Jesus Alonso [9.0] Victor Ricci [6.3]


Vik-ed by The Viking!
Viking Tananger 1-0 1.FC Tocklehove

Match report - coming soon [Err, what? What in the name of the dogs is going on here? Who was assigned this job and where the hell is their report? - Ed.]



Skellingkop Season-582
Round-by-Round

Skellingkop-1

Combine FF Pikefells 0–3 SS Spittalsea
Aero Fennby 1–1 Bannerclub Clun (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Rapid FF Kells 0–0 1.FC Bøe (0–0 AET) (3–2 pen.)
Turbine FF Gallowsea 7–1 Union Skive
Kickers FF Sand 1–0 Skelling Club
Washaway FC 1–1 FC Harbourwights (1–1 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Gymnasia Scold 6–5 Whelm Town Welfare
Penchant & District 3–0 Spartans FF Liarby
Industria SS 0–0 Academical (1–1 AET) (5–4 pen.)
FC Berserkr 1–4 Skullion FF
Fishers Grimsea 13–0 Spittal County
St. Leah Gaels 5–3 Club Zenega
Torpedo Spitney 5–1 Combined Varsity Athletics Union
Blue Boys FF 0–1 Tundra Axle FC
Crows Club 0–3 Florence Boldclub
East Spit Casuals FC 1–3 Viking Tananger
Marine 10–0 Banners FC Skiveness
Start-93 3–0 Guillemots
Shale Athletics Union 0–7 SS Skiveness
Hearts AFC 1–0 Celts Club
Rangers Tocklehove FF 5–7 Grasshopper Club
Stockett Brigade 2–1 Olympic Gallowsea
Gullravens FC 3–1 Viking Spit SK
Celtic Skein 4–1 SCB-Alliance
Blackskull Club 1–1 Moss FC (1–2 AET)
Combine Tamness-Nordby 3–1 Oysterhaven Reds
17.FF Tolling 1–0 Otters Club
Irsha-57 SK 1–5 1.FC Tocklehove
Armada Club 5–7 Turbine Moss FF
Bonesea Air Force Club 1–0 Dogside Works FF
Herring Club 0–1 Gannet FC
Athletic Spit 5–0 Omnibus Athletic


Skellingkop-2

Gymnasia Scold 1–0 Florence Boldclub
Turbine FF Gallowsea 5–3 Start-93
Gullravens FC 3–0 Stockett Brigade
Industria SS 1–1 Tundra Axle FC (1–2 AET)
Turbine Moss FF 1–0 Kickers FF Sand
Marine 0–1 Torpedo Spitney
Moss FC 3–3 Penchant & District (3–3 AET) (1–3 pen.)
Hearts AFC 1–7 Grasshopper Club
Viking Tananger 3–1 Rapid FF Kells
SS Skiveness 3–0 SS Spittalsea
1.FC Tocklehove 2–0 Skullion FF
Fishers Grimsea 0–0 Combine Tamness-Nordby (1–0 AET)
FC Harbourwights 1–0 Bonesea Air Force Club
17.FF Tolling 3–7 Athletic Spit
Aero Fennby 1–1 St. Leah Gaels (1–1 AET) (3–0 pen.)
Gannet FC 0–6 Celtic Skein


Skellingkop-3

Aero Fennby 1–5 Grasshopper Club
Celtic Skein 5–5 SS Skiveness (5–5 AET) (3–1 pen.)
Torpedo Spitney 4–0 FC Harbourwights
Gullravens FC 3–3 1.FC Tocklehove (3–5 AET)
Turbine FF Gallowsea 4–4 Fishers Grimsea (4–4 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Athletic Spit 0–0 Turbine Moss FF (1–0 AET)
Penchant & District 3–1 Gymnasia Scold
Viking Tananger 1–0 Tundra Axle FC


Skellingkop-4

Viking Tananger 3–1 Celtic Skein
Torpedo Spitney 5–3 Athletic Spit
Turbine FF Gallowsea 5–5 1.FC Tocklehove (5–7 AET)
Grasshopper Club 7–3 Penchant & District


Skellingkop-5

Torpedo Spitney 1–3 Viking Tananger
Grasshopper Club 1–3 1.FC Tocklehove


Skellingkopfinal

1.FC Tocklehove 0–1 Viking Tananger



Awards & Records
Season-582

Champions:	Athletic Spit (8th title)
Runners-Up: Start-93
Third Place: SS Skiveness

Kop Winners: Viking Tananger (5th title; 7 finals)
Runners-Up: 1.FC Tocklehove (9th final)

UICA Qualifications

Champions Cup: Athletic Spit
Globe Cup: Start-93
SS Skiveness
Grasshopper Club
Series-B CC: Armada Club
Celtic Skein
Blue Boys FF
Cygnus Cup: Gymnasia Scold

EkstraKop-583: Athletic Spit vs. Viking Tananger
(Super Cup season opener)

Lower Ligg Champions

Bonesligg-2: Armada Club (Cum. 2/5)
Bonesligg-3: Industria SS (promoted)
Bonesligg-4: Combine Tamness-Nordby (promoted)
Bonesligg-5: Penchant & District (promoted)
Spittaligg-A: SCB-Alliance

Player Awards

Fellows Award: Nobb Jones (Athletic Spit)
(Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Adel Nzonzi (SS Skiveness)
Third Place: Donkey Ray Harton (Athletic Spit)

Bonesligg-2: Longhair Cabel (Blue Boys FF)
Bonesligg-3: Eyeball Coot-Kerby (Industria SS)
Bonesligg-4: Talek Nicholls (Combine Tamness-Nordby)
Bonesligg-5: KM Gribben (Penchant & District)

Golden Boot: Ursell Grayse-Lennox (SS Skiveness) 25 goals
Runner-Up: Erik Marlowe (Florence Boldclub) 24

Bonesligg-2: Radoslaw Hanak (ZZR) (Oysterhaven R) 27
Bonesligg-3: BE Russell (17.FF Tolling) 22
Bonesligg-4: Burley Walters (Crows Club) 24
Bonesligg-5: Dimma Flushing (Aero Fennby) 26

Golden Glove: Bernard Doisneau (Moss FC)
Runner-Up: Jalal Serghini (Torpedo Spitney)

Bonesligg-2: Antilochos Morton (1.FC Tocklehove)
Bonesligg-3: FK Cunningham (Industria SS)
Bonesligg-4: Fulcrum Ross (Combine Tamness-Nordby)
Bonesligg-5: KM Gribben (Penchant & District)

Young Fella: Osric Bunker (Start-93) 19 years
(Young Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Vilhelmi Lahtinen (SUU) (Athletic) 20
Third Place: Wilkie Banda-Scrote 17

Bonesligg-2: Njálur Schrøter (VAE) (Armada Club) 18
Bonesligg-3: BE Russell (17.FF Tolling) 18
Bonesligg-4: Louis Ntiba (ZEN) (Hearts AFC) 19
Bonesligg-5: Beef Caspar (Herring Club) 19

Argångaward: Buccus Hike (Start-93)
(Coach of The Season)
Runner-Up: Ruan Buzzard (Athletic Spit)

Bonesligg-2: Malia Grew-Marley (Celtic Skein)
Bonesligg-3: Ifni Anderson (Industria SS)
Bonesligg-4: Piper Doughty (Combine Tamness-Nordby)
Bonesligg-5: Molling Stave (Penchant & District)



The Golden Watch
Year 582 Inductees

Every year an undefined number of former (and maybe, potentially, current) players, officials and other related staff will be inducted and given an actual commissioned gold watch from the highly sought-after watch maker Schu-Tallinger of Reselia, as well as membership to The Golden Watch club. Membership is given for outstanding contributions to the greasy churn.

Inductee 26:	Maslorius Iremonger; former winger for SS Skiveness, 433 appearance, 82 goals; retired.
Inductee 27: Abdul-Aziz Zaman (BBS); first Berber inductee, former striker for Florence Boldclubl; 519 apps & 208 goals.
Inductee 28: Nöl Forest (SEP); fourth Septen Islander inducted, striker for Start-93; 477 appearances, 152 goals.
Inductee 29: Carharrack Olsen; legendary centreback for Athletic Spit; 502 games; 21 goals. Retired.
Inductee 30: Úlfr Rask (VAE); the joint-first Vaettling inductee; another legend, playing 572 games as inside left for Marine, scoring 117 goals.
Inductee 31: Alf Hall (VAE); joint-first Vaettling inductee; all-time great forward from Gymnasia Scold; 550 games & 219 goals.


PREVIOUS INDUCTEES
Inductee 1:	Pythagoras Jones; first national team manager (SB-572 onwards)
Inductee 2: Des Jeruselem (RKQ); first transgender international for Bonesea (SB-572/74)
Inductee 3: Varrick Jones; player for Athletic Spit (741 apps; 134 goals), retired.
Inductee 4: KP Scrote; outstanding player of BoF’62 & World Cup’75 national squads (SB-572/74), retired.
Inductee 5: Toribio Gallo (TAM); player for Viking Tananger (476 apps; 130 goals), retired.
Inductee 6: Sebastiene Narbonensis (WGT); chair, Fellowship of The Greasy Churn
Inductee 7: Vine Dawkins, CF, played for 1.FC Tocklehove for 22 seasons, 594 games, 243 goals. Retired.
Inductee 8: Kingsley Smith, IR, 503 games for Florence Boldclub, scoring 116 goals. Retired.
Inductee 9: Hermon Tuquevoix, IR, 678 games for Athletic Spit, 185 goals. Retired.
Inductee 10: Professor Kett, manager of Viking Tanager 558-575; assistant manager Bonesea national, co-inventor of the Argånger.
Inductee 11: Billy Sermons; won 16 caps for the national team (SB-572/75), player for Florence Boldclub. Retired.
Inductee 12: Tuelmenna Jones; long-serving striker for SS Skiveness, 26 seasons, 603 games, 311 goals, retired.
Inductee 13: Izzy Worthette; Journalist, editor at Boldsport, for services promoting the sport
Inductee 14: Bodiccius Crane; former halfback for Florence Boldclub, retired
Inductee 15: Jérôme Paris (SEP); former centreforward for Florence Boldclub, retired
Inductee 16: Doctor Iris Gramm (Mother Gramm); director of the Overgiven orphanage, for services to young players
Inductee 17: Kite Bohenna; former outside right at 1.FC Tocklehove (retired SB-580); 533 games for the club. 108 goals.
Inductee 18: Kenny Rising; legendary and beloved halfback at SS Skiveness SB-556-580; 709 games, 31 goals.
Inductee 19: Shilling Blue; centreback of the Purple Generation, played for Start-93. 36 caps, 3 goals, Cup of Harmony winner.
Inductee 20: Julien Thayer (SEP); winger for Viking Tananger, retired.
Inductee 21: Tuathal Yellowbill; introverted inside right for SS Skiveness, 22 years, retired.
Inductee 22: Marcellin Gagne (SEP); legendary inside forward for Start-93; 483 apps, 147 goals, 32 red cards.
Inductee 23: Ernie Skewer; crowd favourite centre-forward Grasshopper Club, came through the leagues with them.
Inductee 24: Baba Dika (ZEN); outside left, captain and legend at Grasshopper Club, 531 appearances.
Inductee 25: Buzza McCarthy; centre forward, player coach and joint manager of Viking Tananger (played 558-581)



Ins & Outs
Key Transfer Business - Season 582


Name			Nat.	Pos.	Age	Club			Signed From

Par Polgiga BSE CB 25 Athletic Spit Florence Boldclub
Vilhelmi Lahtinen SUU HB 20 Athletic Spit Heikkurintie-80 (VAE)
Elias G. Stearns RSG IR 20 Athletic Spit Grasshopper Club
Spider Scrivenor BSE GK 26 Athletic Spit Torpedo Spitney

Alfie Hill PSE CF 29 Florence Boldclub Spitbank Fort (PSE)
Keita Song BSE IL 26 Florence Boldclub Athletic Spit

Anders Boness SEM GK 23 Grasshopper Club Gymnasia Scold
Félix Djaide ZEN IR 22 Grasshopper Club Florence Boldclub
Godfrey Mylor BSE HB 26 Grasshopper Club Athletic Spit
Bui Wearne BSE CB 20 Grasshopper Club Start-93

St.Ewe Currie BSE OL 21 Gymnasia Scold 1.FC Tocklehove
EH Cadogan BSE CB 20 Gymnasia Scold Marine
Morval Perch BSE HB 21 Gymnasia Scold SS Skiveness
Gam McCrossin BSE IL 23 Gymnasia Scold Florence Boldclub

Waterloo Austin BSE CF 21 Marine Spartans FF Liarby
Justice Smith BSE OR 22 Marine Florence Boldclub

Lee Kamine BSE CB 20 Moss FC Athletic Spit
Tregue Mawgan BSE OL 23 Moss FC Start-93

Cleon Jay Scopps BSE OL 19 SS Skiveness Viking Tananger
Yasir Ala al-Din BBS OR 24 SS Skiveness Grasshopper Club

Etienne Fuentes SEP IR 19 Start-93 Crows Club
Colan Mackay-Coss BSE CF 23 Start-93 Grasshopper Club
Daveth Restoria BSE CF 24 Start-93 Athletic Spit
Patrick Burscough SCG OR 25 Start-93 Quay Celtic (SCG)
Pendoggett Barrera BSE GK 18 Start-93 Celtic Skein

Ginessa Rodríguez KKA HB 32 Torpedo Spitney AS Matiguás (KKA)
Democritus Gormley BSE OL 26 Torpedo Spitney Moss FC
Lamorran Helland BSE CF 23 Torpedo Spitney Gymnasia Scold
Thrand Minkoff VAE GK 22 Torpedo Spitney Turbine FF Gallowsea

Silian Drake BSE OL 27 Viking Tananger Torpedo Spitney


Image
The Johnny Foreigner Report

The Low Down on our Bonesligg Migrants - Season 582
by Boldsport staff writer Johnny Foreigner

As the Fellowship of the Greasy Churn - that’s the Bonesea FA to you and me - opened the doors to travelling footballers from beyond the region of the Wide Enness Ocean for the first time, Season 54 welcomed a dozen or so prospectors looking for a new opportunity in this far-flung corner of the multiverse, intrigued perhaps by the sudden and surprising success of the Bonesea national team in recent WCC-sanctioned events. More followed this season, hoping to build on the welcome and the success of the first wave.

Our compadres from around the region have been coming here for decades of course, and in the likes of Chilli-Bean Acosta and Lilian Mbo we have Tamarindians and Zenegalesi taking the Oath of Fealty, becoming boney-fide citizens and pulling on the shirt of The Sailors to represent, so it’s not like we’re not used to foreign types coming over here, showing us how to apply the greasy churn: we love it. All welcome. Always have been, always will be. Well, apart from Homo Alfus. And religious types. Oh, and Gregorians, unless they are refugees from the system like our loyal National Butler, Benny Gruelmaker. But apart from them, everyone’s welcome.

Of course, the way we play it at home is a little… rougher… and muddier… and… greasier... than the widely appreciated international variant of Association Football; in Greasy Churning, one must be prepared for a spot of wrestling. It won’t be everyone’s cup of Boney Tea, that’s for sure. So who made the switch with bruising grace? And who got floored on their first outing? Welcome to the Johnny Foreigner Report, your annual round-up of the Football Migrants gracing our game.


Naturally, with the strictly amateur rules in place and the generally low ranking of the Bonesligg, no-one was expecting the Galacticos to turn up in chilly Bonesea; clubs are not yet permitted to pay salaries or transfer fees, so we already knew this would be a hunting ground for journeymen grafters and youngsters perhaps looking for a second chance after failing to cut the mustard back home. What everyone hoped was that one or two rough diamonds might be unearthed to bring something a little more exotic to the game. And there were certainly a few of them - emphasis on rough.

Johnny Foreigner Award SB-582
Adel Nzonzi

Outside Right, SS Skiveness

What a season for the Semarli outside right at the Herrings - despite SS failing to retain their title and generally underperforming by the high standards set by their Audioslav coaches de Cabanyas and de Valle - Ez & Dev - Adel Nzonzi had an imperious season. A marauding winger, he will happily turn inside and was deployed on several occasions in the middle of the park to confuse opponents - a trick of the Audioslavs 'total churning' tactics. At 32 he's not getting any younger but after a storming first season and a somewhat disappointing second, he was back with a vengeance this time around to win the Johnny Foreigner Award, with some distance between him and rising young striker Erik Marlowe, the Nepharan, impressing at Florence Boldclub. Fellow team-mate Lobjstein, a legend in his own quayside mooring up in the chilly climes of Skiveness, finished third and marginally ahead of another Semarli, striker Carmelo Karl at champions Athletic.


Performance Summary*

Name			Nat.	Pos.	Club			Apps.	Gls.	Rating

Adel Nzonzi SEM OR SS Skiveness 38 14 9.34
Erik Marlowe NPH CF Florence Boldclub 38 24 8.90
Lobjstein HUE HB SS Skiveness 36 3 8.71
Carmelo Karl SEM CF Athletic Spit 38 20 8.67
Piet Masschelin VLG CF SS Skiveness 39 18 8.48
Hércules Menezes USI CF Athletic Spit 33 22 8.27
Vojislav Pitalesharo ABI CF Start-93 37 19 8.11
Asteróide DAI CF Florence Boldclub 31 14 8.05
Jannick den Linds SEM HB Marine 35 2 7.69
Mochi Yoshinami USI CF Grasshopper Club 9 2 7.55
Mateo Rossini USI/OSS IR/L Grasshopper Club 17 8 7.35
Filipp Nashoba ABI CF Moss FC 36 13 7.33
Leonardo Ducaldo USI CF Grasshopper Club 29 20 7.30
Zé Caramba USI GK Marine 22 6# 7.27
Mika Paprika USI HB Grasshopper Club 33 2 7.20
Renato Moleiro RED CB Torpedo Spitney [1] 32 1 6.78
Karl Boness SEM GK Gymnasia Scold 33 8# 6.53
João Batata USI OL Florence Boldclub 7 - 5.63
Delmar Baxter SEM IR SS Skiveness 23 3 5.52
Cocó USI IR Florence Boldclub 6 1 5.32
Matthias Eggleton SEM CF Grasshopper Club 11 3 4.94
Anders Boness SEM GK Grasshopper Club [3] 7 2# 4.33
Jeppe Melker SEM IR SS Skiveness 7 - 4.13

Lower League Players
Jojo Valentine USI CB Banners FC [5] 29 8 9.33
Schreck DAI IL 1.FC Tocklehove 29 9 9.25
Gore Mijahlovic USI OR Herring Club [6] 32 11 8.88
Paracoílson CPV CF Herring Club [4] 36 20 7.75
Kvetoslav Irniq ABI CF Irsha-57 SK [2] 28 17 7.02

# clean sheets
[1] on loan from Florence Boldclub
[2] transferred from SS Skiveness
[3] transferred from Gymnasia Scold
[4] transferred from Florence Boldclub
[5] transferred from SS Skiveness
[6] transferred from Florence Boldclub


Youth Players
Jørgen Berthelsen USI IR Grasshopper u19
Scott Balde USI GK Grasshopper u19

* excludes players from Wide Enness Ocean region


OOC Note
I'm attempting to run one season per RL calendar month (season SB-582, here, is for March '17) based on my general rule of thumb that one RL month = one NS year (Boneytime). This will have an ageing impact on overseas players who come to Bonesea with a different ageing pattern. It may be impossible to resolve this satisfactorily with people using different interpretations of time; I'd suggest the Fluid Time refinery based in Whelm, akin to a leaky and unstable nuclear power plant, may be responsible for irregular ageing processes that will naturally be reversed without medical intervention when characters return to other regions of the multiverse and spend time in more temporally stable environments. i.e. you age them as you see fit... Always open to ideas, suggestions and collaborations on this point, via TG initially.
Last edited by Bonesea on Sun Apr 09, 2017 4:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{BOLDSPORT} Independents Cup 2 Round-Up

Postby Bonesea » Sun May 07, 2017 11:01 am

Image

Image
Champions!

Sailors On Top In Handon (Again)
A special report by our Boldsport staff writer in Schottia, Lorn Bennett
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

“We love it in Schottia,” said Sailors away supporter John-Bull Foster, celebrating a glorious title win, the second in five years in Handon. Admittedly he was already on the AirBone flight out of the capital and safe from the vigorous riposte of the locals, who probably hope they never come back. Concluding a really impressive tournament as the experimental largely under-23 wannabe side selected by Coach Pythagoras Jones as a try-out for the next World Cup squad, the new young Sailors threw down a marker of exciting promise by showing steel in Handon, overcoming the experienced Schottic side in the Independents Cup final. Cerebral Siskin was a commanding figure on the night; Proteus and Climo Tyree hit the goals; Ogma Codd was once again a sight to behold. This is a handy nucleus of players coming through, and the established old guard still playing - Skua Ortiz, the Jones brothers, JK Cottle and Tuw Turk, for example - know they have a challenge on their hands to hold on to their places.


The Squad
For Independents Cup 2

With the retirements from international football of Marouaine Shanty, captain Chilli-Bean Acosta, Idless Jones and top scorer Conchobar Wickett, Bonesea is now entering what the sports press are calling the post-Purple Generation phase - the time when all but a notable trio of the original Baptism of Fire team have retired. Only Skua Ortiz and the Jones brothers - Reskadinnick and Nobb - remain in the national team set up from that glorious debut tournament. Having been embarrassed in that initial IAC tournament on home soil, coach Pythagoras Jones has opted to take this second bite of the cherry with a developmental squad that is largely the under-23 team: only six players have been capped at senior level and only two - Jay Witt and Idaios Clapp - have broken into double figures. Unageable Caro Tyree - who disappeared eleven years ago in a fluid time accident aboard the HMS Custom of The Sea and reappeared last year - is probably the oldest, with possible ages of 33 or 43 depending on where you believe he was for the missing decade, and is given the captaincy of the squad, with keeper Swithian Kirk and centreback Loze Cotterill sharing the vice captaincy.

The Squad Listing

#	Name				Pos	Age	Caps/Gls	Paeips		Club			

1. Swithian Kirk GK 21 - Leader Gymnasia Scold
2. Tallack Austin CB 22 8/0 Introvert Grasshopper Club
3. Ruan Milan HB 21 - Motivator Florence Boldclub
4. Cerebral Siskin HB 21 - Professor Gymnasia Scold
5. Jay Witt OL 22 20/0 Warhorse Grasshopper Club
6. Ruben Roche OR 24 9/1 Fabricator Moss FC
7. Idaios Clapp IL 22 11/0 Grafter SS Skiveness
8. Seb Harrigan CF 21 - Ambitious Grasshopper Club
9. Proteus CF 21 8/1 Grafter Viking Tananger
10. Caro Tyree CF 33/43 4/0 Brave 1.FC Tocklehove
11. Ogma Codd IR 23 - Athletic Gymnasia Scold
12. Loze Coterill CB 22 - Leader Florence Boldclub
13. Billy Sweed HB 23 - Grafter Moss FC
14. KG McKinley HB 23 - Determined Start-93
15. Newton Angarrick OL 23 - Warhorse Coral Island FC (Mercedini)
16. Ove Jacobsen OR 22 - Professor Grasshopper Club
17. Huddy Hugus IL 23 - Flaky Gymnasia Scold
18. Che Rivera CF 21 - Lazy Moss FC
19. Badger Rule CF 21 - Trickster Grasshopper Club
20. Mulfra Raven CF 22 - Extrovert Athletic Spit
21. Creddan Pound GK 22 - Motivator SS Skiveness
22. Buddock Mawla IR 22 - Selfish Rosenpfelblatz City (Abanhfleft)
23. Attus Marrow CB 21 - Motivator Viking Tananger
24. Treme Yuval-Wise CF 22 - Determined Moss FC
31. Gloyas Crowe GK 23 - Motivator Grasshopper Club


Image
Player of The Series

Oh My Dog: It’s Ogma Codd!
By Boldsport staff writer Taylah Hotten

[Ed. Note - I will give you that exclamation mark, Taylah, this time. This time.] In a tournament with so many positives - the final emergence of Proteus Whinchat-Windle, the extraordinary tale of Caro Tyree and his unbelievable physical condition, the magnificent performances of Loze Cotterill, Cerebral Siskin and Huddy Hugus - one Bonesman stood out above all others, and that was the eccentric and athletic inside forward playing for Gymnasia Scold, Ogma Codd. Appearing briefly and without much fanfare in the previous under-18 world cup in which Bonesea reached the semi-finals (something they look far from being able to achieve this time around), Ogma has impressed in a patchy Gymnasia team and was just hitting some good form when coach Pythagoras came calling for this tournament. He has been nothing short of a revelation, with four goals in seven games, three assists, two player of the match awards, an 8.2 average match rating and not a single card to his name. He has been a rock in the forward seven, arguably allowing centre forwards Proteus and Caro to thrive, while matching them both for goals scored. Surely there will be suitors for this fine young churner.

Ogma Codd, like his contemporaries in the top flight of the Bonesligg Lee Kamine and Osric S. Bunker, is a mountain foundling - an orphan, a child of the village of Overgiven:

Of course everyone knows that most of the Boney Mountain Rescue, at least in Overgiven, are orphans of the mountains themselves. And this is one of the greatest mysteries in Bonesea life and the other reason for the great fame of Overgiven: here, in this small highland hamlet, can be found The Orphanage. Its proper, rather serious, title of course is The National Centre for Highland Foundlings and it is operated by the Commission for Abandoned Chavo; which all sounds terribly pompous. Doctor Iris Gramm, known across the country as Mother Iris, is the real proprietor of The Orphanage, with her partner Quintrell Coaltit and a small army of carers and adopters who take in and raise the twenty or so children discovered every year, without explanation, up on the cold mountain marches. Iris and Quintrell themselves are ‘highland foundlings’ as are many of the families who live and work there – most of the villagers in Overgiven have been brought down from the volcano and ice fields in their earliest childhood, and many who arrive as abandoned childer never leave again. The Orphanage is not a single grand building, but the entire village of Overgiven.


While some children found in the mountains of the Bonesea interior are adopted by their discoverers, many are taken to Overgiven where they come into the care of Mother Iris; this was the case with Ogma, found by the Boney Mountain Rescue up on the Tockle Trail, and adopted by the Codd family - Rufus Codd and Gaela Beeney - who take in around one or two children every year off the mountain. Rufus and Gaela are of course foundlings themselves and very much part of the extraordinary Overgiven community; Rufus is a general maintenance man who takes care of the general maintenance needs of the Orphanage, while Gaela is a churning coach for the local football team, Orphanage FC, of which Ogma was a highly-rated member. As long-term adopters Rufus and Gaela have taken in and raised many children of Overgiven; during his childhood Ogma numbers Argal, Gabron, Mouthy Hal and Zared Codd his brothers, with Myghin ‘Ginny’, Texta, Nanjulia and Dot Rosa Codd his sisters. It was always the ambition of Ogma to join the Bonesea Armada, fancying himself an heroic captain fisherman, and he has bonded tightly with Caro Tyree who, when not winning titles for the Bonesea national churning team, is part of the crew of the much loved Tocklehove fishing boat the Florizel, favoured by the Narrative Committee for the number of unlikely adventures of Captain Sloggett and her crew. Ogma, a member of the Amblesea-registered fisher the Ocean Rickshaw, has applied for a position on the Florizel now Caro is back and crewing for his old captain in his spare time. Presently Ogma lives in Amblesea with his adopted older brother Mouthy Hal Codd, who works on the offshore reclamation projects and plays part-time for local lower league team Industrial Amblesea. Mouthy Hal is no Ogma, let me tell you.

It seems hardly possible to suggest that anyone could challenge Tuw Turk for the national team inside right role at this stage of Tuw’s career as he himself hits his peak years, and yet Ogma has thrown down a genuine challenge following this tournament. Lilian Mbo, the fine half-Zenegalese inside forward at Viking, has been the go-to backup for Tuw since the early days of the national team and has always performed impressively, but he will now surely be wondering if he will get another tournament with Ogma emerging as at least the second inside right in the country. For other bright prospects in the position - which is quite well stocked in the Bonesligg with some very decent inside forwards - the emergence of Ogma could be even worse news. Rebbe Gyr at Marine was celebrated at a very young age as the future star of Bonesea churning, but has failed to break the Turk-Mbo stranglehold on the position. Now he’ll be seeing a third player ahead of him and his prospects shrinking. Elatha Rule at the Boldclub, Lua York-Smith at Torpedo and Olver Hughes at Moss FC, all young and emerging onto the scene, will wonder if they will ever get ahead of Ogma based on his showing here. The answer, most likely, will be ‘no’.


Image
Caro’s Boys

The Sailors’ Next Generation off to a winning start
Analysis by Boldsport staff writer Tregadillet Treviscoe

Well, if you wanted to know how the national team was going to manage now that the Purple Generation have all but retired, why don’t you go check the trophy cabinet: there’s a shiny new object in there called the Independents’ Cup, and it’s Caro Tyree’s young charges, selected by coach Pythagoras Jones to audition for the World Cup, who came home with the goods. The national team is alive and well, and has literally picked up where the Purple Generation left off - with a title win in Handon, Schottia. We know that captain Caro Tyree seems to be going from strength to strength, hitting peak physical form, despite possibly being 42 years old (he may be 32, depending on which science you subscribe to) but looking like the figure of a 22 year old. We know all about Ogma Codd following his standout tournament, thanks to his biggest fan and Boldsport staff writer Taylah Hotten, who I’m told is considering moving out to Amblesea in the summer [Ed. - easy on the salacious gossip, Tre]. But how is the rest of the churning field shaping up for the future - nice and greasy or short on style?

While Donkey Ray Harton has certainly emerged from the World Cup as the new number one for the national team, Swithian Kirk, the Gymnasia shot stopper, will press his claim for both club and country with the Semarli Karl Boness ahead of him at the perennial Bonesligg strugglers. Swithian missed two games through injury where SS Skiveness’ reserve Creddan Pound stepped up confidently, but in the rest of the tournament he hit a consistent furrow with an impressive average rating 7.6 and only three goals conceded in four, which is a fine return for such a cavalier attacking strategy where three per game might be a more reasonable expectation. Swithian needs more game time in the Bonesligg or elsewhere and will hope to get that in the coming season.

Schottia-based JK Cottle, playing professional club football at Handon United - has got trouble on two fronts: as the first choice centreback, he’s already backed up by Par Polgigga, and Tallack Austin who broke through in the last world cup cycle. Tallack impressed again in this tournament and now Loze Cotterill has made his debut and also looked a fine prospect. On the second front, JK was already nominated as the next national team captain to replace the outgoing legend Chilli-Bean Acosta, but with the Independents Cup Caro Tyree has made a real mark as the leader of this group, and seems improbably to be the longer-term option if chronological scientists are to be believed that his trip in the diegetic tunnel has made him immune to the ravages of time. Par Polgigga was long heralded the next superstar of Bonesea, and it has never quite happened for him. Now Tallack and Loze look like pushing him further down the pecking order and away from that coveted title. Some say that in the early days he believed his own press too much and has been weighed down not just by expectation but the size of his own ego. The boys Tallack and Loze apparently come with no such incumbrancies.

The halfback roles vacated in the national team by Wanger Shanty and Ringbill Brown seem to have plenty of options. Skua Ortiz of course will remain on board and is likely first choice selection for the next world cup cycle. From the Independents Cup showing, Billy Sweed, Ruan Milan, Cerebral Siskin, Attus Marrow and even KG McKinley all looked good prospects to challenge for the other spot with Ansell Skewes, who had been an established backup in the role for some time and was hoping for a clear run in the starting spot. Cerebral Siskin in particular, the young halfback from Scold playing alongside Ogma Codd, looks ready for the step up.

Of the outside forwards Jay Witt came into this competition as one of the most experienced internationals, while Ruben Roche on the opposite flank has been a fringe player for some time, but really took the opportunity to press his claim in the absence of regular and one of the last remaining Purple Generation, Reskadinnick Jones. Jay, by contrast, suffered with his fitness and managed only two somewhat disappointing appearances. Benchers Ove Jacobsen, the half-Vættling, and Newton Angarrick who is already playing his club football in Mercedini, impressed in cameo roles to suggest coach Pythagoras has some depth beneath his two boys currently holding down the starting wing places with Nobb and Reskadinnick. With Jay and Newton both picking up knocks, Idaios Clapp impressed across several positions to become one of the highlights of the team as a real utility man. We’ll see plenty more from him.

If Ogma stole the show in one of the inside forward positions, his opposite number and club teammate Huddy Hugus at Gymnasia was almost as impressive, in a far less barnstorming and more quietly consistent way. He’ll share that position with Idaios Clapp moving forward, but with the latter likely to play a role all across the forward seven if called upon, Huddy might hope one day to make the position his own. But filling the giant shoes of beloved retired captain Chilli-Bean Acosta will likely first fall to EA Skewes, grandson of Rumon and great nephew of Argon Skewes, Wightling World Cup winning brothers, with Huddy expected to wait in line for his chance to shine.

The loss of Napoléon, Idless Jones and the mighty Conchobar Wickett is an entire forward line that will be so difficult to replace. Assured of their chance are the impressive Ursell Grayse-Lennox, with 15 goals in 43 appearances, and cult hero Teppo the Viking (Gulbrandsen) - 5 in 22 - and both missed this tournament as shoo-ins. Proteus has looked a likely third candidate with some inconsistent performances in his rare appearances - six with no goals before this tournament - and he was given his chance here which he took in full measure, hitting four goals in five appearances to joint top-score with Ogma. He finished a joint third in the overall performance rankings for Bonesea with Huddy Hugus, behind only the revived Caro Tyree and player of the tournament Ogma Codd. Mr. Whinchat-Windle finally seems to have earned the right to reduce his name to a mononym, an honour previously extended only to Napoléon - and he’s half Québecco anyway… An honourable mention goes to young Seb Harrigan, who played in the first four games of the tournament before injury, hitting two goals and looking better with each game. He still has a way to go but the son of the Grasshoppers head coach Otter Harrigan has marked his card as a solid prospect.

In every position, it seems, coach Pythagoras can be reassured from this tournament that he has strength in depth - next up, potentially, is another Eagles Cup tournament, or possibly a tour of one of the main sporting regions before the next World Cup marathon gets under way. The challenge for the coach now is to integrate this new set of champions in with the more experienced players who sat this one out and find themselves under a bit of selection pressure.


Image
Independents Cup Group Stage Round-Up

Caro Tyree & the Under Twenty-Three Blooming in Langtree
A review by Boldsport staff writer Lorn Bennett
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

Coach Pythagoras Jones elected to begin the post-Purple Generation era in experimental fashion, taking a development team of largely under-23s to Mercedini for the second Independent Associations Championship; quite aside from the international retirements of a handful of Boney legends, there was no Skua Ortiz, no Tuw Turk, no Jones boys - Reskadinnick or Nobb. Not that the old guard showered themselves in glory in this tournament last time around - heading into it as the home nation having just bagged the Cup of Harmony, they were disappointing to say the least as the competition favourites, going out in the first elimination round. Opting this time for a group of most under-23s, the most experienced players selected were Jay Witt and Idaios Clapp, with the wisdom of age provided by incomprehensibly ageless Caro Tyree. No fewer than fifteen players made senior debuts in the first three games of the group stage, including off-the-bench appearances, with eight of them in the first game. And they have impressed. Three wins from three - with swashbuckling style, fearless abandon and aggravated assault when called upon, this group of hopefuls for the next world cup cycle have certainly put themselves in the shop window for their coach and he will have been delighted with what he has seen so far. Whether the boys can progress remains to be seen but there is certainly a great deal of optimism both for this tournament and beyond. Catching the eye so far? Loze Cotterill, Ogma Codd and Newton Angarrick have consistently impressed, and Caro Tyree has certainly put his hat in the ring for the Captain’s spot vacated by Chilli-Bean Acosta. So far, so good.

Image
Independents Cup, Group B Matchday 1
Bonesea 2-0 The Iron SyndicateHT: 1-0
@ Langtree Metropolitan Stadium, Mercedini

Scorers: Ogma Codd 35’ Seb Harrigan 80’

Player of the match: Ogma Codd
Attendance: 39,623


Player		Rating					Match Stats	BSE-IRON
Kirk [7.9] YY Possession (%) 60/40
Austin [7.6] + Shots 14-8
Milan [8.6] YY On target 6-3
Siskin [8.0] Pass Compl (%) 82-72
Witt [5.0] + Corners 4-9
Roche [5.4] Fouls 13-5
Clapp [6.7] Yellow cards 2-1
Harrigan [6.6] goal: 85' Red cards 0
Proteus [8.3] +
Tyree [6.6]
Codd [9.5] goal: 30' (player of the match)
Injuries Severity
Raven [7.9] sub: Proteus 56' Austin 3 games
Angarrick [7.4] sub: Witt 59' Witt 2 games
Cotterill [ - ] sub: Austin 80' Proteus 2 games


No less than eight players made their international senior debuts in the impressive win over The Iron Syndicate, with five starters and three subs all getting their chance to shine in Langtree. The player of the match and the goalscorers were all from the new stock, with Ogma Codd really impressing as a late inclusion in coach Pythagoras Jones experimental squad, and signalling his arrival as a potential new star - though where he will fit in with Tuw Turk still ahead of him for the next few years is anyone’s guess: patience will be the key. But Ogma looks ready already, and there were equally eye-catching starts for goalscorer Seb Harrigan and half backs Ruan Milan and Cerebral Siskin. Overall coach Pythagoras has got to be pleased with this start in a competition founded in Bonesea, that went tragically awry for the returning Cup of Harmony champions on their home ground as they blew a chance to add to their new trophy cabinet with a poor showing at home. The young blood here in Mercedini appear to have no such worries, playing with freedom and style under the command of another relative new comer, the bafflingly young/old inexperienced/veteran and captain for the tournament Caro Tyree, who seems to be marking his return to the real world with an extraordinary - and slightly unbelievable - story off the field, and a composed and athletic story on it. Calm and commanding, is Caro Tyree next in line for the standing captaincy now the beloved Chilli-Bean Acosta has retired from international churning?


Image
Independents Cup, Group B Matchday 2
Union of Socialist Alpine Republics 1-3 BoneseaHT: 1-0
@ FLR Stadium, Langtree, Mercedini

Scorers: Zbigniew Zajaczkowski 34’ / Mulfra Raven 82’ Ogma Codd 86’ Caro Tyree 88’ (pen)

Player of the match: Loze Cotterill
Attendance: 21,797


Player		Rating					Match Stats	BSE-USAR
Kirk [6.1] + Possession (%) 50/50
Cotterill [9.5] (player of the match) Shots 16-11
Milan [6.0] + On target 7-4
Siskin [6.6] + Pass Compl (%) 77-66
Angarrick [8.4] YY Corners 10-4
Jacobsen [6.7] + Fouls 13-6
Clapp [5.9] RR88' Yellow cards 1-3
Harrigan [8.2] Red cards 1-1
Raven [8.1] goal: 82'
Tyree [9.1] + goal: 88' (pen)
Codd [9.0] goal: 86'
Injuries Severity
Sweed [7.4] sub: Milan 53' Milan 7 games
Rivera [ - ] sub: Tyree 89' Tyree 3 games
Roche [ - ] sub: Jacobsen 90+2' Kirk 2 games
Jacobsen 2 games
Siskin 1 game


A pedestrian and frankly dull clash with the Alpinist exploded to life in the last ten minutes to leave spectators at the FLR Stadium in Langtree wondering if in fact they had seen one of the greatest games of all time. Of course, when they calm down they will realise they didn’t see anything of the sort, but there is an argument to say those who managed to stay to the end - plenty gave up and went home early - may have seen one of the most thrilling ten minutes of football to close the game out. It was like both teams had agreed beforehand to save the best to last, and when the last came, they all lost their tempers as well as their caution, with handbags at dawn all over the pitch, and a dozen incidents to take in with every passing minute. It was not the beautiful game, it was not the working man’s ballet - it was fractal chaos theory on a muddy field. What’s not to love?! Zajaczkowski had given the USAR a first half lead in a game of little interest, and try as they might, the Sailors could not claw their way back into the game, looking off the pace and out of sorts until a rare break led to the impressive Mulfra Raven netting a late equaliser with eight minutes to go that looked to earn Bonesea a draw. But that was only the start. The late, late start.

Things had already been a little testy as the Alpinists refused to give in to the rough and tumble tactics of their opponents, and a shocking tackle on Ruan Milan ended his competition - so impressive until now - in the 53rd minute. Tempers were ready to flare and after Raven’s equaliser they certainly did. When Ogma Codd, having another fine game, struck four minutes later to give the Sailors a surprise lead, the mist turned red. The referee was struggling to contain things when Caro Tyree was upended in the box two minutes after Ogma’s goal, and despite taking an obviously painful knock, got up to strike home the resultant penalty for his first international goal, well deserved. A scuffle broke out afterward with Idaios Clapp and Sascha Welzmüller exchanging punches and receiving straight reds for their efforts, and as the game drew to a close, Ove Jacobsen received an elbow from Pawel Wawrzynkiewicz that will put him out for the next game - the ref missed it entirely, and no-one could blame him with incidents going off all over the park. That only two players saw red is a miracle. On the positive side, the win is enough to confirm the Sailors’ place in the knockout rounds, and although they just about managed that last time, the coach will be encouraged that this time around, even when the quality goes a little south, the fighting spirit is undeniable.

Image
Independents Cup, Group B Matchday 3
Bonesea 2-0 Free RepublicsHT: 2-0
@ Langtree Metropolitan Stadium, Mercedini

Scorers: Mulfra Raven 29’ Huddy Hugus 42’

Player of the match: Loze Cotterill
Attendance: 44,841


Player		Rating					Match Stats	BSE-FRR
Pound [6.8] Possession (%) 52/48
Cotterill [9.0] (player of the match) Shots 12-11
Sweed [6.5] YY On target 5-3
McKinley [6.1] Pass Compl (%) 82-64
Angarrick [6.2] Corners 4-4
Roche [8.1] Fouls 10-5
Hugus [7.5] goal: 42' Yellow cards 3-2
Harrigan [6.4] YY Red cards 0
Raven [7.3] + goal: 29'
Tyree [9.0] YY
Codd [7.5]
Injuries Severity
Rule [5.4] sub: Raven 62' Siskin 3 games
Mawla [6.5] sub: Angarrick 66' Raven 1 game
Siskin [ - ] sub: McKinley 75'


Injuries and suspensions had forced five changes to coach Pythagoras’ side that had qualified in the last game, with full debuts to Billy Sweed, KG McKinley and Huddy Hugus as well as first starts off the bench for Badger Rule and Buddock Mawla. Restoring calm, order and flowing style after the Battle of the FLR in the last game, the Sailors dispatched the much fancied Free Republics with a competent performance that promises much for the future of this team. How different this to the last IAC tournament, so painfully nervous and disappointing. Now, the new breed are playing with swagger and verve, and no small amount of grit when required. For the second game in a row centreback Loze Cotterill has been an absolute rock and is already the front-runner for Bonesea player of the tournament, with the captain and ever-youthful Caro Tyree also posting another fine game. He took a pounding in the last game and looked for all the world like he would be out for the tournament. That he was named in the starting eleven was a complete surprise to all, and then to see him fresh as a sea breeze was astonishing. His powers of recovery must be extraordinary. Two of the new young hopefuls hit the first half goals that suggested a thrashing might be in the offing with Mulfra Raven striking his second in three games and Huddy Hugus hitting a goal on his debut. The Free Republics re-organised in the second half and were much less vulnerable to the physical game of coach Pythagoras’ men, but failed to press home any improvement or draw a return from a much-improved possession rate. From a position of looking strong contenders to qualify the news couldn’t have got much worse for the Republics as the Iron Syndicate impressively rolled over the Alpine Socialists to take the second spot behind a perfect 3-win Bonesea, who move into the next round and a tie with Averyickan City, group mates in the last competition who gave the Sailors quite a fright before the home side narrowly won the day to save their competition - at least, for one more game. It will be fascinating to see how this group compares in the round of sixteen, with a place in the quartefinals for the first time at steak. Can the youngsters go a step further? They are certainly playing with more conviction and belief than last time, when the experienced Cup of Harmony champions entirely choked on home territory.


Image
Independents Cup Knockout Stage Round-Up

Night of Glory: The Reprise - Handon reunion promises fireworks
Knockout Review & Final Preview by Boldsport staff writer Lorn Bennett
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush


The new stars of the Bonesea national team are rising as their inauguration into tournament football has so far gone without a hitch: improving with each game, the young Sailors - marshalled by the improbably aged Caro Tyree - have stormed into the final of the Independents Cup with three supreme performances in the knockout stages, concluding with a near-perfect destruction of one host on home soil, Mercedini, to set up a second host contest and a reprise of the glorious Cup of Harmony ‘68 final. Hitting 12 goals in three knockout games, the fine young navigators have taken up the gauntlet thrown down by the outgoing Purple Generation, who had taken Bonesea to the brink of the top ten of international football within three cycles. Out with the old, and in with a new, hungry and eccentric bunch of churners who look like they will do the nation proud, regardless of what happens in Handon tomorrow. Revisiting old foes from the previous Independents Cup - such a poor show that was - in Averyickan City and the nation that eliminated them in Abanhfleft, the new and apparently improved team did coach Pythagoras Jones proud with a brace of solid victories. No-one could have predicted what was to come, as Bonesea came up against the high-flying hosts, themselves set for a bright future by anyone’s reckoning, and smashed the living daylights out of them. Make no mistake - the Purple Generation are gone but Bonesea’s star continues to rise. Can the Sailors do the double over Schottia, after that classic 5-4 extra-time victory in Handon five years ago (Boneytime)?

If we get half the match of that last final between these two, no-one will complain.

Image
Independents Cup, Round of Sixteen
Bonesea 4-2 Averyickan CityHT: 2-2
@ ezMART Stadium, Zholvi, Mercedini

Scorers: Seb Harrigan 14’ Proteus 17’ KG McKinley 46’ Ogma Codd 74’ / #9-Avery 21’ #6-Avery 38’

Player of the match: Seb Harrigan
Attendance: 19,487


Player		Rating					Match Stats	BSE-AVE
Pound [7.7] Possession (%) 55/45
Cotterill [6.9] + Shots 20-14
Sweed [6.6] On target 9-6
McKinley [8.5] + YY goal: 46' Pass Compl (%) 79-65
Witt [7.4] + YY Corners 9-7
Jacobsen [7.3] Fouls 4-14
Hugus [6.9] Yellow cards 3-3
Harrigan [8.9] + goal: 14' (PoM) Red cards 0
Proteus [7.5] goal: 17'
Tyree [7.5]
Codd [7.6] goal: 74'
Injuries Severity
Angarrick [5.3] sub: Witt 62' Witt 9 weeks
Yuval-Wise [ - ] sub: Harrigan 75' Cotterill 4 weeks
Austin [ - ] YY sub: Cotterill 89' Harrigan 3 games
McKinley 3 games


The Sailors progressed to the quarterfinals of the Independents Cup for a second consecutive tournament, this time with considerably more confidence and panache, after dispatching the Averies in Zholvi. Scraping a poor win against the same nation in the final group match of the last tournament, even as the reigning Cup of Harmony champions, everyone could see the Sailors’ heart was not in it. This time the fresh young things representing Bonesea were a different prospect, securing a comfortable win and demonstrating some intent to set up a rematch against their IAC-1 conquerors Abanhfleft.

Seb Harrigan and Proteus set the tone for the next three games, scoring inside the first twenty minutes to give the Sailors an early two-goal advantage, something that would be repeated in the next two games. More by luck than judgment the Averies gave themselves a chance with a quick response, hitting Bonesea on the break for Avery9 to shin home a mis-kicked daisy cutter that literally could have gone anywhere but span into the net after flat-footing keeper Creddan Pound. And unbelievably they went in on level terms when Pound was guilty of being caught off his line for what had seemed a harmless punt up the pitch by Avery6 to stun the Sailors just before halftime. But they came out firing, reassured no doubt by coach Pythagoras’ [sarcasm]calm and calculating demeanour[/sarcasm] to take back the lead virtually from the kick-off, KG McKinley heading home from a Jay Witt cross. What was he doing all the way up there so early into the half? Probably trying to avoid the coach’s gaze by standing where he would least be expected to stand. Instead Witt found him and the lead was restored. After a long period of dominance Ogma Codd, player of the tournament for the Sailors so far alongside captain Caro Tyree, hit his third goal of the campaign to give Bonesea some daylight with a quarter hour to play. The only blot on the landscape was a series of injuries for Coach Pythagoras, with Jay Witt, Loze Cotterill, and Seb Harrigan all finishing their tournaments with bad knacks, and scorer KG McKinley also limping off at the end of the game. The coach has said his tournament is finished too. Attus Marrow will have to fill in for the halfback roles with McKinley, Cerebral Siskin and Ruan Milan all out injured.


Image
Independents Cup, Quarterfinal
Abanhfleft 1-3 BoneseaHT: 0-2
@ Coma Tudo Stadium, Acaflosa, Mercedini

Scorers: Kahaan Kazzbassart 88’ / Proteus 11’ Huddy Hugus 16' Ogma Codd 63'

Player of the match: Ogma Codd
Attendance: 41,903


Player		Rating					Match Stats	ABF-BSE
Kirk [7.6] Possession (%) 47/53
Austin [7.5] YY Shots 10-14
Sweed [7.1] On target 4-7
Marrow [6.6] Pass Compl (%) 72-78
Angarrick [7.6] + Corners 9-5
Jacobsen [7.9] + YY Fouls 14-15
Hugus [7.8] goal: 16' Yellow cards 6-2
Raven [ - ] + Red cards 0-1
Proteus [7.1] goal: 11'
Tyree [7.0]
Codd [9.0] goal: 63' (player of the match)
Injuries Severity
Yuval-Wise [6.3] sub: Raven 4' Raven 3 games
Roche [7.8] sub: Angarrick 31 Angarrick 3 games
Mawla [ - ] YYRR'90 sub: Jacobsen 69' Jacobsen 2 games


Bonesea exorcised the demons of the inaugural Independents Cup with a hard-fought but impressive win over the team that put them out of their misery last time. The Fleftics came into this tournament as one of the favourites, and rightly so, but the growing confidence of the new Sailors team, and their obvious belief, was on display for everyone to see as they turned in a professional performance to advance into the semi-finals. Revenge for the last elimination was complete. A semi-final awaits.

Proteus and Huddy Hugus hit the early goals in this one, as Bonesea once again stormed into a lead which this time the opponents found unassailable. Seeking revenge for elimination at the same stage in the last Independents Cup, the Sailors looked a much more assured prospect, looking impressive throughout and dominating on the ball for long periods of the match. Another Ogma Codd strike just after the hour mark put Bonesea well clear and the young inside forward capped a fine display with his goal. The Fleftics pulled a late one back through Kahaan Kazzbassart in the final minutes of the game as Bonesea wound down the clock looking to avoid further injuries, having lost Mulfra Raven, Newton Angarrick and Ove Jacobsen during the game to give the coach a real selection headache for the semi-final.

Image
Independents Cup, Semifinal
Mercedini 1-5 BoneseaHT: 1-2
@ Langtree Metropolitan Stadium, Mercedini

Scorers: Sgt. Sam Billic 35’ / Proteus 11’ Caro Tyree 17’ Treme Yuval-Wise 47’ Huddy Hugus 79’ Badger Rule 85’

Player of the match: Treme Yuval-Wise
Attendance: 45,000


Player		Rating					Match Stats	MCD-BSE
Kirk [8.2]YY Possession (%) 33/67
Austin [8.2] Shots 6-22
Sweed [9.4] On target 3-11
Marrow [9.4] Pass Compl (%) 63-87
Clapp [8.3] Corners 7-9
Roche [10-] Fouls 4-6
Hugus [8.1] goal: 79' Yellow cards 2-3
Yuval-Wise [10-]YY goal: 47' (player of match) Red cards 0
Proteus [8.7] goal: 11'
Tyree [9.8]YY goal: 17'
Codd [9.5]

Rivera [9.7] sub: Austin 65'
Rule [6.5] sub: Yuval-Wise 79' goal: 85'


If anyone had any doubts about the young team coming through to replace the Purple Generation, they surely had them settled following this famous win in Langtree againsts hosts and fancied football side Mercedini. While many will have fancied them to scrape through this tie in what was likely to be a tight and attractive contest, no-one surely could have predicted the manner of the victory or the sudden maturity of this experimental side which will give coach Pythagoras Jones plenty to contemplate as he looks to integrate them with the experienced players still in the national standings but rested for this tour. Bonesea hammered their way into a rematch with Cup of Harmony rivals Schottia, silencing the passionate crowd and breaking local hearts as they mercilessly tore apart a team caught off-guard and unprepared for the onslaught that was about to happen. The Mercs will dust themselves down and return stronger, for sure, but today they are on their backs, noses bloodied - some quite literally - as they wonder what hit them.

Proteus with his third in three games and Caro Tyree hit the early goals in this one as Bonesea cut a slick and confident jib all across the park. Sergeant Billic’ strike just after the half hour gave the Sailors something to think about and they tightened up after losing a little pizzaz with the comfortable lead. Wary of throwing a two-goal lead as they had briefly against the Averies, this time the young lads responded well to Coach Pythagoras’ [sardonicism]gentle persuasion[/sardonicism] from the touchline to tighten up and see the half out without further calamity. The Sailors returned for the second half in determined mood, and player of the match Treme Yuval-Wise, making his first start after a couple of impressive substitute appearance, controlled business from a forward position, extending the lead after only a couple of minutes and remaining a constant threat until his eventual substitution. He was brought of to take the plaudits of the nine ecstatic away fans after the fourth goal, in which he provided an assist for Huddy Hugus; his replacement Badger Rule got a fifth six minutes later - only the second Sailor to score from the bench after Odgen Hocking back in the day - to complete an humiliation for the home side, who will return to international football all the stronger (says a gracious and magnanimous coach Pythagoras Jones).


And so, having conquered in one host nation, the Sailors travel to Handon again for a date with destiny and a growing rivalry: Schottia won’t get caught the way Mercedini did; no-one could have missed the steamroller in Langtree, and coach Mah will have his Schotts team ready to stand up to the best Bonesea have to offer. They are, after all, the reigning champions of this tournament and the highest ranked side in the competition; quite aside from all statistics, they are looking majestic. This, the second competitive tie between the nations, looks set to be a classic - just as the first one was. It could become the start of something, a rivalry between emergent churning nations with very different philosophies but similar paths to the top. Both impressed in the last World Cup. No-one who saw it could forget the Cup of Harmony final from the cycle before that. Both are banging on the door of the top ten nations. This will be big - both nations will see this as a dress-rehearsal for future glory. Schottia will want to win a second consecutive title and really become the first team to ‘own’ the Independents Cup. Bonesea, the founders, already do feel they own it, though they were careless and incompetent owners in the inaugural competition. The Sailors will want to remind everyone that they - not the Schotts - should be the first team anyone thinks of when they think about the Independent Associations Championship.

Welcome to Handon.


Final Line-up Announced:
Swithian Kirk; Tallack Austin; Billy Sweed, Cerebral Siskin; Idaios Clapp, Ruben Roche, Huddy Hugus, Treme Yuval-Wise, Proteus, Caro Tyree & Ogma Codd.

Image

The Final
Schottia vs. Bonesea

Image
Independents Cup, Final
Schottia 1-2 BoneseaHT: 1-0
@ Harbour Hill Stadium, Handon, Schottia

Scorers: Evelyn Conjure 1' / Caro Tyree 48' Proteus 66'

Booked: Paul Doig, Chloe Rudden, Višnja Brankovič (sub) (Schottia) / Buddock Mawla (sub) (Bonesea)
Player of the match: Cerebral Siskin (Bonesea)

Attendance: 55,000


Player		Rating					Match Stats	SCH-BSE
Kirk [8.4] Possession (%) 47/53
Austin [6.9] Shots 13-15
Sweed [8.5] On target 5-6
Siskin [8.9] (player of the match) Pass Compl (%) 64-77
Clapp [6.2] + Corners 3-3
Roche [8.8] Fouls 17-5
Hugus [8.5] Yellow cards 3-1
Yuval-Wise [6.8] Red cards 0
Proteus [7.4] goal: 66'
Tyree [8.0] goal: 48'
Codd [8.3] +
Injuries Severity
Mawla [ - ]YY sub: Clapp 76' Rivera 11 weeks
Rivera [ - ] + sub: Yuval-Wise 82' Clapp 7 weeks
Rule [ - ] sub: Codd 84' Codd 2 weeks

With the partisan home crowd baying for blood from the off as revenge for the Bonesea win in Handon five years ago, they could not have wished for a better start. The host nation kicked off at a sprint with the whole stadium - minus nine plucky Sailor fans - behind them as Evelyn Conjure went on an improbable run from the kick-off, got herself into the penalty area, played a neat interchange with Chloe Rudden to entirely bamboozle Tallack Austin, and rounded the surprised keeper Swithian Kirk, who was probably still concluding his pre-match rituals, to put the Schotts ahead inside the first minute. On the touchline, amidst the roar of jubilant home fans, coach Pythagoras Jones rolled his eyes resignedly and assistant Des Jeruselem chipped a previously perfectly manicured nail. The Sailors could not have asked for a worse start. But credit to them - against the expectation of the crowd they did not fold under the pressure, and another fine half of end-to-end churning with no quarter asked nor given. The ref had a fine old time keeping on top of the physical encounter, and, as last time, this was a thrill-a-minute blood and thunder encounter rich in muscle, and not short on attacking intent. Good chances went begging at both ends as the teams went in at the break level on hit points, with the Schotts retaining their early lead.

Both coaches must have known that an early goal after restart might prove crucial, and there were close encounters at both ends in the opening exchanges of the second half as each team went for the jugular - almost literally at times. Paul Doig and Chloe Rudden both got early bookings within a couple minutes of the kick-off, while, to the outrage of the home support, Billy Sweed got away with a warning for kicking Conjure up the Khyber when it looked for all the world she would break away for her second. To add to the injustice in the eyes of the crowd, Caro Tyree smashed in an equaliser from the next phase of play - the Schottia free-kick from Sweed’s infraction was inelegantly hoofed away by Tallack Austin, the impressive Huddy Hugus knocked it on into the path of Caro and his first time shot surprised Jeremy McNott in goal, who was caught hopelessly off his guard. He’ll want to look at that one again - or perhaps he won’t. Rather than silencing the crowd, the equaliser added to the sense of injustice felt in Handon as once again the Sailors looked like they were going to get away with an act of daylight piracy. Backs were up and the stadium just got louder and louder. It was an electric atmosphere fitting for a classic final and once more both sides were caught up in the moment, pressing their own claims for the title. It was difficult for the neutral to favour one over the other in a supremely tight contest, and it was clear that one goal, and probably only one goal, would decide it. And the man to get it was Bonesea forward Proteus, in the sixty-sixth minute, heading in from a Cerebral Siskin corner after keeper McNott had made up for his lapse in concentration with a fine one-on-one save from Caro Tyree. Player of the match Siskin, so assured and quietly aggressive in the half-back role, fired in a rocket of a corner, Ogma Codd flicked on at the near post which took poor McNott out of position again as Proteus leaped to head in his fourth in four games through the knockout rounds, showing strength to hold off a challenge from Doig. Bonesea were in front.

There was to be no late dramas of comebacks, extra-time or sending-offs as there had been in the classic Cup of Harmony final, but both sides continued to press until the final whistle, and the home crowd never stopped believing. Or screaming. But the Sailors held out, and even offered a couple more chances to extend their lead, ably saved by McNott who will have been feeling pretty awful about his mishaps in an otherwise impressive showing. Once more Bonesea had wrestled a narrow and thrilling victory off of Schottia in Handon for a second title, this one the Independents Cup to add to their Cup of Harmony. Officials on both sides agreed that the next date should be the World Cup Final, and with both nations on the rise, why not?
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Galacticos Index '67

Postby Bonesea » Sun May 07, 2017 11:06 am

Image

Who will be the next Adnan Szalai*, Callum Banda, or Val Kylx? [Perhaps Adnan Szalai will retain his Szalai-ness]

Boldsport Magazine, proud purveyor of shoddy sports journalism since about last April, brings you the second edition of what is sure to be the global phenomenon of the Boldsports Sports Writers Awards for the greatest football players in the universe: The Galacticos Index.

Boldsport Editor-in-Chief, Izzy Worthette:

As was the case in the last cycle, the great and glorious, the old and the ancient, were gathered together at the glamourous - well, for Bonesea anyway - Royal Polarian Hotel on Herring Island, to the north of the capital Spittalsea to celebrate the mighty feats of our multiversal greasy churners (that's footballers to you and me) who have brought such entertainment for the last three hundred years or so. And what better place to assemble, in a hotel named after the home islands of the legendary late Sol Kierkegaard, for whom one minutes' solemn applause was given in memory of his recent passing. That, I am ashamed to say, was the highlight of a prematurely cancelled event.

Naturally the Eurans are an overly-sensitive bunch at the moment with all the argy-bargy running amok in their home nation, so it was no surprise in a way that a fight broke out on the dinner table of Globe Cup runners-up Revolutionaries; but it would appear after reviewing the CCTV footage later that in fact it was not the poor war-weary Eurans who started the fight but foreign team-mates who began by throwing tea-cakes at each other in jest and then at some point lost their sense of humour and their tempers. Young Sunrisian keeper Brâm Couch seems to have drawn the ire of latino pair Meysom Salume and Sebestián Núñez, and Spittalbuns were replaced with eclairs as Euran team-mates tried in vain to calm everyone the fibula down. However it all got out of hand with Turoki Tide keeper Ondrej Cech having a go, and the bunfight at the R.P. Hotel spread to the Farf' Avenida Leal team - Mattías Passarelli not endearing himself with his team-mates when he started blowing pecan twists willy-nilly; Ruy Monrazón and Trejo Maes intervening with custard pies and muffins. Chromatik Kéìrâ Andísorí with the Starling detachment launched a pre-emptive trifle strike at the neighbouring Myrmidon FC table, seemingly aimed at Stewie Burns. The poor Nepharans of Starling, Crisibless, AFC Treason, Moths and Brinemouth were entirely covered in gateaux within a minute of the first crumbs being scattered, caught in a patissaerial crossfire. Even the elves had taken damage. While many looked to the sage old legends of the Holy Asylum in the corner for some assistance and a call to order, they seemed entirely pre-occupied. Simeone de Bradini and Juan Tzimichesapeake seemed to have amassed at least double the amount of chocolate truffles than any other guest at the table, and were busy counting them with the baffled Audioslavs and Slanizstas while everyone else covered themselves in an edible sort of infamy.

When it was done, the dinner was ruined, the Royal Polarian rather soiled, and there was no appetite for the presentations to follow. It was agreed the best course of action would be to cancel the event and let the good people of Boldsport deal with the mess, and publish the results online. Next cycle, we all agreed, there would be less sugary food at the event.


It has been an exhaustive process to get to this point and the journalists who make up the panel of sports writers have followed no less than 196 players across the top of the game from 30-odd nations and 23 of the best clubs in world football. This long, long list of superstars and cult heroes is as follows:

Romikk Valgard, COS, Ulsa
Adnan Szalai, NPH, Ulsa

Blaze Chrzanowska, ANG, Northern Union

Alyssa Yorkton, NFX, Millenium City
Megan Twoseventeenth, NFX, Millenium City

Jonas Kvalheim, PAS, Tanrısal
Józef Grabowski, PAS, Tanrısal
Jhaness Horgen, PAS, Tanrısal
Emely Towers, EFL, Tanrısal
Dagbjört Baldursdóttir, PAS, Tanrısal
Lemuel Ortiz, AUD, Tanrısal
Roland Lebrun, PAS, Tanrısal
Amitee Abdalla, EFL, Tanrısal
Elin Hofstede, PAS, Tanrısal
Ursula Rankin, BRE, Tanrısal
Adam Pinto, VLD , Tanrısal

Hothion Feltatheth, VAL, FC Capri
Tamlassas Celetaar, VAL, FC Capri
Erutalion Toraethil, VAL, FC Capri
Erynron Talnae VAL, FC Capri
Earyaleryn Gwalinde, VAL, FC Capri
Filwame Omasas, VAL, FC Capri
Gwestanna Nhataseer, VAL, FC Capri
Celemerun Haanial, VAL, FC Capri
Gwenordorion Mithtata, VAL, FC Capri
Marco Palacios, SJG, FC Capri
Sue Hackett, NPH, FC Capri

Bobbie Kennedy, AUD, Raynor City United
Megilcion Tantholi, VAL, Raynor City United
Corella da Silva, COS, Raynor City United
Oani Moralziia, TUR, Raynor City United
Ooóoos Skueri, AUD, Raynor City United
Aintôrthea Durosa, VAL, Raynor City United
Timi'sala Koarena, TUR, Raynor City United
Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar, VAL, Raynor City United
Cristian Arango , VLD, Raynor City United
Tájö Çíânflöné, FFD, Raynor City United
Carlos Alberto Sáez, VLD, Raynor City United

Alpha Gandhi, APX, 1830 Cathair
Hazel van Robben, QUE, 1830 Cathair
Batmacumba, DAI , 1830 Cathair
Edrigu Verhagen , AUD, 1830 Cathair
Jouard Caceres, AUD, 1830 Cathair
Gael Marquez, AUD, 1830 Cathair
Lenka Randáková , PAS, 1830 Cathair
Faeron Soldarian, VAL, 1830 Cathair
Espy va Drake, VAL, 1830 Cathair
Nestor Martinez , SJG, 1830 Cathair
Rodolfo 'Fito' Zelaya, SJG, 1830 Cathair
Jaime del Olmo, CEN, 1830 Cathair
Romelio Ceballos, PAS, 1830 Cathair

Abraham Terrazas, SJG, AC Izotz Zubia
Orson Faulkner, BRE, AC Izotz Zubia
Morlaithan Aldamiel, VAL, AC Izotz Zubia
Patrick Courtois, VLD, AC Izotz Zubia
Paranawê, USI, AC Izotz Zubia
Gregory Besoitagoena, AUD, AC Izotz Zubia
Fabio Mancini, OSR, AC Izotz Zubia
Sterling Rose, EUR, AC Izotz Zubia
Txordinutzko Etxehartzaren, AUD, AC Izotz Zubia
Laborious Hawk, VAL, AC Izotz Zubia
Frantzisko Apexarena, AUD, AC Izotz Zubia
Claudio Romano, PAS, AC Izotz Zubia

Pablo Llorente, AUD, KT Moreazerau
Vann Dalllara, AUD, KT Moreazerau
Rico Leone, AUD , KT Moreazerau
Dieter Konoval, NPH, KT Moreazerau
Thijs Bolotin, AUD, KT Moreazerau
Azucena Llorente, AUD, KT Moreazerau
Robbie Guerricaechevarria, AUD, KT Moreazerau
Bennik Hreidarsson, SEM, KT Moreazerau
Rodger Mariezkurrena, AUD, KT Moreazerau
Anderson Sandro , KYP, KT Moreazerau
Renzo Padrione, AUD, KT Moreazerau
Huele, AUD, KT Moreazerau

Calogero Metz, FFD, Cassandra City
Justinian Grimswald, COS, Cassandra City
Wing, COS, Cassandra City
Campbell, ETM, Cassandra City
Boag, NPH, Cassandra City
Bellerophon Serafino, COS, Cassandra City
Kwame Cole, SEM , Cassandra City
Bardsen, ?, Cassandra City
Marcos Zelaya, QUE, Cassandra City
Jol Tortuu, COS, Cassandra City
Jason Goulding, QUE, Cassandra City
Philippe-Michel Schneiderlin, QUE, Cassandra City

Matt Vintner, NPH, Brinemouth
Danijel Brymora, NPH, Brinemouth
Temperence Nkembe, NPH, Brinemouth
Gianluigi Calabrese, OSR, Brinemouth
Drê Röènôùjýâ, FFD, Brinemouth
Konrad Gosforth, NPH, Brinemouth
Jonathan Bosetti, VLD, Brinemouth
Osman Candelo, VLD, Brinemouth
Kyron Bartley, OSR, Brinemouth
Chrysanthe Scafidis, NPH, Brinemouth
Jess Silkman, NPH, Brinemouth

Karin Marciak, BYN, Crisisbless
Leona Rafford, NPH, Crisisbless
Osmosis Gandhi, APX, Crisisbless
Rebecca Larkland, NPH, Crisisbless
Sieglinde Lohengrin, NPH, Crisisbless
Lauro Tedesco, OSR, Crisisbless
Isaia Urso, OSR , Crisisbless
Allison Swan, CEN, Crisisbless
Ror Jevdjevic-Hadsic, FFD, Crisisbless
Ozaria Gandhi, APX, Crisisbless
Anika Redmayne, NPH, Crisisbless
Claudia Gautcher, NPH, Crisisbless

Isadora Caravella, NPH, Sabrefell Moths
Everard Tawney, NPH, Sabrefell Moths
Pavel Weaver, NPH, Sabrefell Moths
Jessica Weiss, PAS, Sabrefell Moths
Nikita Griffiths, NPH, Sabrefell Moths
Cardinal Belgrave, NPH, Sabrefell Moths
Kirsten Cliving , NPH, Sabrefell Moths
Orion Etzebeth, NPH, Sabrefell Moths
Scheherazade Meier, NPH, Sabrefell Moths
Leo Hargreaves, EUR, Sabrefell Moths
Aaliyah Johnson , OSR, Sabrefell Moths
Robert Griffin, EUR, Sabrefell Moths

Justinian Hargrave, NPH, Starling
Mirko Koehler, NPH, Starling
Deirdre McNessa, COS, Starling
Francesca Marquon, NPH, Starling
Hyacinth Surman, NPH, Starling
Ali Asif, EFL, Starling
Malachi Gallagher, NPH, Starling
Nicola Costello, OSR, Starling
Lucius Kaspian, COS, Starling
Claudia Cautcher, NPH, Starling
Liam Armstrong, EUR, Starling
Catherine Gryphon, BRE, Starling
Estrella Hawke, NPH, Starling
Kéìrâ Andísorí, CMT, Starling

Diandra Ballard , NPH, AFC Treason
Gareth Westmeade, NPH, AFC Treason
Peter Svensson, COS, AFC Treason
Calliope Katskalidis, NPH, AFC Treason
Scylla Vyntra, NPH, AFC Treason
Mariska Woodspur, NPH, AFC Treason
Marcel Labonne, SEM, AFC Treason
Vedran Tarashaj, NPH, AFC Treason
Lienke Vesper, NPH, AFC Treason
Roddy Fraser, AUD, AFC Treason
Igrene Cantor, NPH, AFC Treason
Alexander Lopes, VLD, AFC Treason
Gideon Fletcher, NPH, AFC Treason

Ruy Monrazón, FFD, Avenida Leal
Ostadar Arambilet, FFD, Avenida Leal
Trejo Maes, FFD , Avenida Leal
Nevaeh Cathar, NPH, Avenida Leal
Trenn Rien, CMT, Avenida Leal
Ace Newman, COS, Avenida Leal
Mattías Passarelli, SJG, Avenida Leal

Alain-Napoléon Marchand, BSE, Cednia Beach FC
Matlya Eelador, TUR, Cednia Beach FC
Warren Royannis, TUR, Cednia Beach FC
Kryhata Calanndi, TUR, Cednia Beach FC
Oani Moralziia, TUR, Cednia Beach FC
Dmitri Levada, TUR, Cednia Beach FC

Jay-jay Jabez, VIL, Turoki Tide
Cavuna Aquafek, VIL, Turoki Tide
Polaox Torerun, VIL, Turoki Tide
Ondrej Cech, QUE, Turoki Tide

Draugwë Nororon, TUR, Mliona-Lpaka
Majid Jedidi, TUR, Mliona-Lpaka
Inlite Makakio, TUR, Mliona-Lpaka
Kigaoua Oalalka, TUR, Mliona-Lpaka
Inamari Altariiz, TUR, Mliona-Lpaka
Jirijii Januaa, VIL, Mliona-Lpaka
Linkat Cjinder, VIL, Mliona-Lpaka
Serabi Chamya, VIL, Mliona-Lpaka
Tripate Falcon, VIL, Mliona-Lpaka
Kiliko Riazen, VIL, Mliona-Lpaka

Marco van Ciavetinni, IRN, Myrmidon
Mathis Woodgate , BRE, Myrmidon
Teemu Petersen, ?, Myrmidon
Sagan Myers-Briggs, ?, Myrmidon
Miri Windtide, CEN, Myrmidon
Renné Asterix, ?, Myrmidon
Stacey Sunset, NFX, Myrmidon
Corran Celgis, CEN, Myrmidon
Stewie Burns, QUE, Myrmidon
Inzazi Dvulu, SEM, Myrmidon
Sgt. Sam Billic, MCD, Myrmidon
Jacob Zajon, CEN, Myrmidon
Mara Longstar, CEN, Myrmidon

Brâm Couch, USI, Revolutionaries
Meysom Salume, SJG, Revolutionaries
Sebestián Núñez , SJG, Revolutionaries
Frank Rozenthal , VLD, Revolutionaries

August Ozuna, AUD, Real Azuris
Sandra Sybill, CMT, Real Azuris

Pedrinho, VLD, Directus


And so onto the longlist, whittled down to the best thirty-nine players in the multiverse in the last cycle, and the locals have cause to celebrate with Napoléon getting onto the list to represent Bonesea. Although, of course, he's only Boney by adoption. And he doesn't play in Bonesea any more. And he's banned from the national team... so a small victory, really. Anyway, without delay, the longlist, in alphabetical order, is as follows:

Morlaithan Aldamiel		713	DC	VAL	AC Izotz Zubia
Kéìrâ Andísorí 22 ST CMT Starling
Kyron Bartley 22 F OSR Brinemouth
Gregory Besoitagoena 28 MR AUD AC Izotz Zubia
Jonathan Bosetti 31 M VLD Brinemouth
Serabi Chamya 23 MC VIL Mliona-Lpaka
Tájö Çíânflöné 26 A FFD Raynor City United
Patrick Courtois 35 DC VLD AC Izotz Zubia
Espy va Drake 764 M/F VAL 1830 Cathair
Roddy Fraser 23 F AUD AFC Treason
Robbie Guerricaechevarria 24 AM RC AUD KT Moreazerau
Laborious Hawk 904 AMC VAL AC Izotz Zubia
Jirijii Januaa 25 DLC VIL Mliona-Lpaka
Aaliyah Johnson 26 F OSR Sabrefell Moths
Dieter Konoval 22 DC NPH KT Moreazerau
Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar 735 M VAL Raynor City United
Sieglinde Lohengrin 23 D NPH Crisisbless
Trejo Maes 32 WB FFD Avenida Leal
Alain-Napoléon Marchand 30 ST BSE Cednia Beach FC
Rodger Mariezkurrena 21 ML AUD KT Moreazerau
Gael Marquez 28 DC AUD 1830 Cathair
Deirdre McNessa 28 D COS Starling
Scheherazade Meier 27 M NPH Sabrefell Moths
Calogero Metz 30 GK FFD Cassandra City
Ruy Monrazón 28 M FFD Avenida Leal
Paranawê  23 DL USI AC Izotz Zubia
Ursula Rankin 30 A BRE Tanrısal
Kiliko Riazen 25 FC VIL Mliona-Lpaka
Trenn Rien 25 ST/RW CMT Avenida Leal
Hazel van Robben 27 ST/AM QUE 1830 Cathair
Drê Röènôùjýâ 32 D FFD Brinemouth
Carlos Alberto Sáez 33 A VLD Raynor City United
Faeron Soldarian 634 DMC VAL 1830 Cathair
Peter Svensson 27 D COS AFC Treason
Adnan Szalai 27 MR NPH Ulsa
Vedran Tarashaj 24 M NPH AFC Treason
Abraham Terrazas 31 GK SJG AC Izotz Zubia
Gareth Westmeade 27 D NPH AFC Treason
Rodolfo 'Fito' Zelaya 33 CF SJG 1830 Cathair


We now begin to whittle down our candidates towards the prizes. First, I’m proud to present the Galacticos Index Team of The Cycle sponsored by the highly sought-after watch maker Schu-Tallinger of Reselia. Each player selected for the Best Eleven plus seven subs will receive a highly valuable collectors item platinum Schu-Tallinger timepiece as well, I’m sure, as renewed terms on their contract.

The Boldsport Galacticos Team of The Cycle is as follows:

Image

Special congratulations are due to Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar and Peter Svensson, who both make the Galactico XI for the second consecutive cycle.

And so to the shortlist for the player of the cycle. This is where we get to the real nitty gritty - thirty-nine becomes nine. And the nominees, in alphabetical order, are:

Kéìrâ Andísorí		 22	ST	CMT	Starling
Serabi Chamya 23 MC VIL Mliona-Lpaka
Tájö Çíânflöné 26 A FFD Raynor City United
Jirijii Januaa 25 DLC VIL Mliona-Lpaka
Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar 735 M VAL Raynor City United
Calogero Metz 30 GK FFD Cassandra City
Kiliko Riazen 25 FC VIL Mliona-Lpaka
Trenn Rien 25 ST/RW CMT Avenida Leal
Carlos Alberto Sáez 33 A VLD Raynor City United


Ancient elfin type Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar reaches the short list for the second consecutive season, but there is no place for last cycle's player of the multiverse Adnan Szalai, who must hand over his crown to a new hero.

Let’s move on to the Boldsport Young Player of the Cycle, sponsored by NomNom world famous confectioners - because sometimes, sour sugar is good for you. With a number of young players competing right at the top of the sport already, this was a difficult and tightly-contested affair.

The three NomNominations, in alphabetical order, are:

Linkat Cjinder		18	DRC	VIL	Mliona-Lpaka
Rodger Mariezkurrena 21 ML AUD KT Moreazerau
Claudio Romano 19 ST PAS AC Izotz Zubia


And the winner of a lifetimes’ supply of sugar toucans and chocolate toads is…

.
.Rodger Mariezkurrena

Rodger becomes the second consecutive Audioslav to win the young player award - they must be doing something right in the acadamies up there in north east Ao. The future looks bright green and a sort of red wine burgundy colour.


And so we come to the final presentation - the Boldsport Galactico Player of the Cycle, sponsored by legendary dealers in precious objects, The Nomarque Mint of Taxhavn, who are providing the winner of this prestigious award with the equally presitgious prize of NothingTM - for the man, woman or person of indeterminate gender who has everything.

“Nomarque Mint present our finest creation to date: Orbis Vacuume, the latest in a legendary line of Product No.1’s by the world famous Mint. 134.373924 millilitres of purest hard vacuum encased in a 3mm Adamant shell of 65.4mm diameter and an impossible 103.36% purity; nowhere in the entire multiverse will you find such extraordinary refinement, polished to a near frictionless 0.1255mu.

“And, naturally, it is beautiful beyond any useful scale of measurement."

But there can be only one Supreme Galactico or player of the cycle (mainly because we could only afford one Orbis Vacuume) and finally we are at the point where we can reveal them. But first, there must be honourable mentions for the close runners-up. In third place…

.
.
Calogero Metz


In second place, and what a magnificent rise to the top of world football it has been in such a short space of time…

.
.
Kéìrâ Andísorí


And so, finally, ladies, gentlemen, persons of indeterminate gender, gender-irrelevant children, anthropomorphic creatures of the more distant corners of the multiverse and disreputable oiks covered in bakers confections - the winner of the Boldsport Galactico Player of the Cycle is:

.
.
Tájö Çíânflöné

"Football sometimes runs in the family. That is the case of the Çíânflöné family. Just like his cousin Fôrté, Täjó is immensely talented at kicking balls. He's got acute tactical awareness and a consequent knack for exploiting defensive gaps with his speed, coupled with some sharp finishing skills. He’s one of only three Farf players to have won the Champions’ Cup."


And that concludes the Boldsport Galactico World Player of the Multiverse for the present cycle. Any complaints about the final decisions should be directed to spamfolder@boldsport.oi.


For those who are interested, there was method to this madness. Taking top 20 UICA teams, top 10 national teams, loads of searches, marking down RP comments, looking at transfers, and coming to some form of RP bonus scoring led to the result you see here. Not very scientific but based on what I could see and read. The lesson for future galacticos: get a move to a top UICA club that does a lot of newswire posts… other nations RPing about your stars counts double… the count begins again after the Cygnus Cup final.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-583 Preview

Postby Bonesea » Fri May 12, 2017 1:45 pm

Image

Image
Around Again

Bonesligg-583: Your Guide To The Season
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Dub Meadows
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

Welcome to the ridiculously unwieldy Bonesligg Preview from your favourite newswire, written by your second-favourite chief sports writer (hey, I know I can't compete with Starling Maw, and she's next up with the club-by-club spread so relax, you long-faced schemers, and enjoy the news). I say unwieldy because I really don't have time for the amount of detail the editor is asking for. But I'll give it a try. [Yes. Yes you will. - Ed.]Boy, have we got some news today - whether it's the goings on at the Boldpark where all manner of shenanigans are unfolding including the departure of Bonesea's finest player, or the latest developments in the development league. The Fellowship of The Greasy Churn - that's the Bonesea FA to you and me - are really ramping up their efforts to make club football in the country the equal of the national side, which has somehow risen into the top echelons of world sport in what seems like the blink of an eye. In fact it's been only fifteen years, in Boney time, since a ragtag bunch of sailors made a chaotic debut in the Baptism of Fire. Now the nation is in the top 15 of world football, and the Fellowship would just love to see the club game match that. And why not? It's the second bite of the UICA pie for Ligg clubs, and after a great debut from the likes of Florence Boldclub, Athletic Spit and Fishers Grimsea last time around, lets hope the current Magnificent Seven can match them. That said, one of them will have to do it without the best player we've produced to date...


Turk-Away!
Tuw Quits Green Faeries For Foreign Climes

What is going on at the Boldclub? Several top players have quit the club in pre-season, making their start look a very shaky prospect. A poor season by recent standards last time out seems to have left much of the team disillusioned, and the flamboyant manager Des Jeruselem suggesting he will leave at the end of this coming season when his contract is up for renewal. Young junior international Ruan Milan was the first to jump, signing for Start-93; he was followed by a clutch of young players including Jaõa Batata to rivals Athletic, Gore Mijahlovic abroad to FC23 August (LDN) and Bonesligg's first female player Coco, another USI talent, heading out on loan to lowly Herring Club. Then came the big hits as Ringbill Brown went to Brenecia and Gallant Cross, Tanny McFarland signed for Gymnasia, and sensationally, Tuw Turk relocated to New Gelderland and UICA big hitters Celtic Noviodunum, leaving the Green Faeries in disarray. Deciding that the mix of chaos and his own personal injury problems were insurmountable, star Zenegalese inside forward Keita Song, 27, retired with immediate effect. Rumour has it the club is also being investigated for breach of transfer rules relating to their youth team, and the recent addition to the coaching team Boddicus Crane, the former Bold halfback, is at the centre of all the gossip. Whatever is happening at the club, they look like they are going to have a tough start this time around while coach, cabaret drag queen and brothel-keeper Des Jeruselem steadies a very unsteady ship.


Expansion, Expansion
Skellingkop Doubles In Size; New Youth League Initiative

Professor Kett, former coach of Viking Tananger, assistant to Pythagoras Jones on the national team in World Cups 75 & 76, and for the last six years the elected President of the Fellowship, has been a keen reformer both of the organising body and the Bonesligg; he proposed the establishment of the Independents Cup and is, unofficially, its titular head; he brought both the first IAC tournament and the Baptism of Fire to Bonesea; he has been instrumental in the development of the bottom-up adoption of the Argånger Approach of finding a legal way to retain the natural wrestling style of the domestic game with the more hands-off rules of international football that has lead to early successes with the national team; and he continues to promote change within the domestic game. From this season, the Skellingkop - Bonesea's national knockout cup - will double in size, allowing the likes of Omnibus Athletic, Coffin Island Rangers, Gargoyles Club and Oyna & Gritting Combine to mix it with the giants of Bonesligg-1 in a 128-team first round. And continuing with his development of the new national style - the Argånger - he has led on the foundation of the new national youth league, a two-tier 24-team league featuring the best youth clubs from around the country, who will compete in the Juvenligg. A school of coaching for the Juvenligg will be established at an as yet undisclosed new site for the national academy - another Kett initiative. The Juvenligg will reflect the national Argånger Approach designed extensively by the Prof with original inventor and national team coach Pythagoras Jones, and it's first season will run this season, SB-583.

Image
Club By Club

Prospecting For Season 583
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Starling Maw

Shenanigans at the Boldclub apart, there was still plenty of pre-season activity across Bonesligg-1 as an unprecedented amount of mobility in the transfer market occurred in what is usually a highly stable league; perhaps influenced by the international transfer market and the number of Wide Enness Oceanites (WEOs) arriving in Bonesea to test themselves against the new regional banner carriers, domestic players are moving willy-nilly between clubs now like never before. Professor Kitt has mentioned on several occasions that the bureaucrats at the Fellowship's Transfer Administration Centre, Excel House (in Bonehouse District, Spittalsea) maintain too low parameters for allowing inter-club moves, and need to more stringent and testing with their criteria. Nobody is quite sure what he is insinuating by such statements, but the bureaucrats have responded by suggesting that he is the one talking about league expansion, and that is only going to add to the numbers at Excel House. Whatever the root cause of the mobility, there is no denying it makes for an interesting off-season, even if the workload in rrecording and reporting has gone through the roof. And how has all this left our top ten clubs of Bonesligg-1?

Image

Image
Champions – Athletic Spit
Manager: Ruan Buzzard
Captain: Nobb Jones
Star: Reskadinnick Jones
Fans’ Hero: Donkey Ray Harton
Watch For: Cade Jones (19) - another Pythagoras boy

In: Shelyak (DAI) from Brampton United (MRC); William Busque (Grasshopper Club); Teppo Gulbrandsen (Viking Tananger); João Batata (Florence Boldclub)
Out: Lyne Varanasi to Moss FC; Carmelo Karl (SEM) - released
Retired: Zipper Smith (37); Mylor Manter (31)

The release of Carmelo Karl was a surprise, considering he had come fourth in the Johnny Foreigner Awards last season (shows what he knows...), but Ruan Buzzard has picked up some very decent players to overall strengthen what was already the title-winning team in the division. Another Jones boy breaks through into the seniors with striker Cade looking as good as any of them - watch this space.

BoneBet: Looking good for a successful title defence: 1st.


Image
Runners-Up – Start-93
Manager: Buccus Hike
Captain: KG McKinley
Star: Tryggve Axelsson (USI)
Fans’ Hero: Duald Dunbar
Watch For: Osric Bunker (20)

In: Tryggve Axelsson (USI) from Na'Masille Mariners (COS); Yanis de Looff (WEO-SEP) (Blue Boys Cheranne - WEO-SEP); Ruan Milan (Florence Boldclub); GK Lower (Gymnasia Scold); Sham'a Ranger (EFL) (New Tavernia Academy - EFL)
Out: Patrick Burscough to Gymnasia Scold; Wron McCoy (Crows Club); Daveth Restoria (Florence Boldclub); Pascoe Johnson (Viking Tananger)
Retired: IR Tyler (33)

Another one who strengthened noticeably in the off-season, with Ruan Milan a real coup for The Geese. Likewise Tryggve Axelsson, while young Sham'a Ranger becomes one of several foreign women looking to kick balls in the league this season.

BoneBet: Always hard to predict; they've been strong against the odds in recent seasons and will have to defy odds again to succeed – 8th.

Image
3rd – SS Skiveness
Manager: Escobar de Cabanyas & Davin de Valle
Captain: Marouaine Wånger Shanty
Star: Ursell Grayse-Lennox
Fans’ Hero: Wånger Shanty
Watch For: Larrick Jones-Gummo (19)

In: Jose Enrique (USI) from Sporting Saint Adrensburg (SEM); Stokoe Bartail (Moss FC)
Out: Eméric Forge to Banners FC Skiveness; Delmar Baxter (SEM) (AS Mezina - IRN); Jeppe Melker (Notrina Lat - NTN)
Retired: Esben Hageback (WEO-VÆ - 33); Ragnvald Halle Olsen (WEO-VÆ - 27; retired injured)

A surprisingly quiet transfer window for The Herrings with only two incoming and a couple of the original foreign legion heading home after three good seasons and two titles; perhaps the biggest loss will be the much loved Halle Olsen who could not recover from his multiple fritillaria sprains, and has called time on his fine churning career.

BoneBet: Herrings look mighty fine but a UICA campaign and a quiet transfer window leaves them a little behind the Ancients – 2nd.


Image
4th – Grasshopper Club
Manager: Otteran ‘Otter’ Harrigan
Captain: Adama Koné (WEO-MK)
Star: Jay Witt
Fans’ Hero: Mika Paprika (USI)
Watch For: Nátan Rasmussen (WEO-VÆ)

In: Boswin Redkite from Torpedo Spitney; Arquimides & Jeronimo (USI) (Sporting Solsholm - SEM); Jesus Alonso (WEO-TAM)
Out: William Busque to Athletic Spit; Bui Wearne (Florence Boldclub); Vinachê Mbiwa (WEO-MAK) (Marine); Matthias Eggleton (SEM) (Larstad Town Bay - LDN)
Retired: Flavio Rousse (WEO-TAM) (23 - retired injured); Caesar Brantley (31); Cemoyre Thomas (33)

Otter Harrigan has built a fine team in his time at the club and continues to tinker around the edges with some interesting signings, particularly the two Sunrisian refugees arriving from Semarland's Sporting Solsholm: Arquimides and Jeronimo are expected to impress.

BoneBet: They've made it their position, so let's say four in a row – 4th.

Image
5th – Florence Boldclub
Manager: Des Jeruselem
Captain: Erasmo Félix (WEO-TAM)
Star: Erik Marlowe (NPH)
Fans’ Hero: Des Jeruselem
Watch For: Oto (17 - DAI)

In: Oto (DAI) from Olidherts (DAI); Talek Nicholls (Combine Tamness-Nordby); Daveth Restoria (Start-93); NR Smith (Torpedo Spitney); Bui Wearne (Grasshopper Club)
Out: Ringbill Brown to Gallant Cross (BRE); Jaõa Batata (Athletic Spit); Ruan Milan (Start-93); Tuw Turk (Celtic Noviodunum - NGD); Tanny McFarland (Gymnasia Scold); Gore Mijahlovic (USI) (FC23 August - PDN)
Retired: Keita Song (27 - retired injured)

As mentioned by my colleague Dub Meadows, it's a bit of an exodus at the Boldclub, but of equal concern will be the apparent lack of quality in recuitment this time around, with lower league impressario Talek Nicholls seemingly a bit long in the tooth to step up to this level, while the others are all journeymen who have failed to really find their niche.

BoneBet: Des Jeruselem looks like he has his work cut out, they were bottom when he joined and he's got it all to do again - 9th.


Image
6th – Moss FC
Manager: Camillo Jones
Captain: Mithian Gibson
Star: Ruben Roche
Fans’ Hero: EA Skewes
Watch For: Cloudsley Shovel (19)

In: Lyne Varanasi from Athletic Spit; Etel Csonka (PAS) unattached
Out: Traise Akers to Hearts AFC; Stokoe Bartail (SS Skiveness); Adminius Symonds (Viking Tananger)

The Bryophites never get over-excited in the transfer window but will have been disappointed to lose Stokoe Bartail to SS Skiveness. But look out for this promising youngster, Cloudsley Shovel, who may go on to achieve great things, while free agent Etel Csonka arrives from Pasarga to prove Rushmori women can hold their own in the Bonesligg.

BoneBet: Stability within the squad over several seasons will pay dividends for the Bryophytes – 3rd.

Image
7th – Marine
Manager: Fistral McCrary
Captain: ZC Tannager
Star: Kite Cattran
Fans’ Hero: Godfrey Jones
Watch For: Blez Ropars (19)

In: Mórits Kielberg (WEO-TXH) from FTK (WEO-TXH); Vinachê Mbiwa (WEO-MAK) (Grasshopper Club); Fingal Altimimy (COS) (West Gundar FC - COS); Cahir Treal (Gymnasia Scold)
Out: Nechtan Malley to Viking Tananger; Patrick Lott (Torpedo Spitney)
Retired: Conchobar Wickett (36); Idless Jones (34)

The Mariners have so lost their way in recent seasons that it is a wonder Fistral McCrary has managed to hold on to his job. This time around he's got big, big shoes to fill with Conchobar The Conch Wickett and Idless Jones, the nations two highest scorers and best strikers, both retiring. We can't see Cahir Treal filling the void and it could be a real struggle for the decorated capital side.

BoneBet: Mariners can only hope for midtable obscurity, for them a poor place to find themselves – 6th.


Image
8th - Gymnasia Scold
Manager: Wellard Corfe
Captain: Swithian Kirk
Star: Ogma Codd
Fans’ Hero: Skua Ortiz
Watch For: Mogue de Luz (19) Tamarindian mountain foundling

In: Nemesio Adams (EFL) from Revisionism Academy (EFL); Tanny McFarland (Florence Boldclub); Baldirmiro El Ogro (LAS) (Sukatora Sassa - DIA); Patrick Burscough (Start-93)
Out: GK Lower to Start-93; Cahir Treal (Marine); Riaz Yuhanna Teke (WEO-BBS) to Torpedo Spitney
Retired: Zoar Bonney (33)

Struggling in recent years, The Gym look like this might be a turnaround season. With so many young and upcoming internationals in their side, they suggest that legendary and much-loved manager Wellard Corfe may be building a team that could go places. And by that, we don't mean down to Ligg-2.

BoneBet: The family club look strong, and ready to break the bonds of low expectations - a strong 5th.

Image
9th – Viking Tananger
Manager: Buzza McCarthy & Chilli-Bean Acosta
Captain: Chilli-Bean Acosta
Star: Chilli-Bean Acosta
Fans’ Hero: Chilli-Bean Acosta
Watch For: Ragnhild Row (16)

In: BE Russell from 17.FF Tolling; Nechtan Malley (Marine); Pascoe Johnson (Start-93); Adminius Symonds (Moss FC)
Out: Teppo Gulbrandsen to Athletic Spit; Jesus Alonso (WEO-TAM) (Grasshopper Club)
Retired: Mu'Sad Afsal (35); Finlay Sara (27 - retired injured)

Losing pace with the others over recent seasons, Viking managed to sugar the pill last season when Teppo Gulbrandsen struck home the winning goal in the Kopfinal, giving the Viks something to cheer about. But he's gone now - to champions Athletic - and Viking look like they have a long hard season ahead of them.

BoneBet: Not an easy season for the legends that are coaching an average side at best – 7th.


Image
10th – Torpedo Spitney
Manager: Mulfra Gerbino
Captain: Riaz Yuhanna Teke (WEO-BBS)
Star: Thrand Minkoff
Fans’ Hero: Hrut Smith
Watch For: Tanque (DAI)

In: Sadi Makavana (WEO-PAV) from Deshpande (WEO-PAV); Tanque (DAI) (Urboyts - DAI); Sarah XSV (IRN) (Bay of Portus FC - IRN); Patrick Lott (Marine); Riaz Yuhanna Teke (WEO-BBS) (Gymnasia Scold); Ivy Herrick (NPH) (Armstrong - NPH); Ravinger (DAI) (Ptolomaios - DAI); Lucien César Baudin (WEO-SEP) (Gullravens FC); Drake Carey (Guillemots)
Out: SY Penwarne to Harbourwights FC; NR Smith (Florence Boldclub); Boswin Redkite (Grasshopper Club)
Retired: Blessed Jones (31); Knut Plain (33); Bod Crow (33); Jústi Long (32); Jordyn Barton (20 - retired injured)

Torpedo have struggled at the top level with an ageing team and again had four of their old guard retire this season as they try to keep pace with the younger sides in the Ligg. They are big losses, and with eight over-30s in the squad for this coming season, their long project to inject youth continues to present the challenges of an old guard not quite good enough for this division.

BoneBet: A lot of signings as The Goats continue to build, but it will still be a struggle – 10th.


Extrakop Special
Athletic Spit 3-1 Viking Tananger

Goals: Cade Jones (19'), Hercules Menezes (33') Teppo the Viking (47') / Lilian Mbo (88')

No-one could see this going any other way in the charity season-opener, the Extrakop, which despite promises for eight previous seasons was finally organised by the Fellowship and hosted at the Boldpark. Reigning league champions Athletic, looking good for a title defence and featuring Viking's very own favourite Teppo Gulbrandsen who left in the off-season, were too much for Chilli-Bean Acosta's boys; the Kop winners were outgunned and out-thought all through the game. Teppo added insult to injury by scoring the third of what could have been a dozen for The Ancients, and the Athletic supports added insult to insult by chanting 'Teppo the Viking' from start to finish in a miserable game for the southerners. They are facing a very tough season as their limited resources and the failure to bring through fresh blood looks like it will be costly.


UICA-67
Elimination Round Summary

Seven clubs prepared for the nation's second run in UICA competitions, with the Boldclub's impressive run to the Globe Cup quarter-finals last time out the benchmark. Last time, the Bonesligg remarkably managed to get one team into each of the three competitions' group stages, with the Boldclub (Champions Cup), Athletic Spit (Globe Cup) and Fishers Grimsea (Series B Champions Cup) all flying the flag with some famous victories along the way. This time around, there was to be no representation in the SBCC group stage with Celtic Skein and Armada Club both falling in their first ties, and the impressive Blue Boys FF winning through two preliminary rounds before a narrow defeat to the Osarian Littleshaw Village. They can pride themselves with a mighty knockout of Audioslavs Tenth Star, with a famous 1-0 win in Innstrand. Whilst missing out in the second tier competition, once again the Bonesligg will be represented in the group stage of the two main competitions, with Athletic Spit in the Champions Cup group stage following notable victories over Whirl Islanders FC Atlantis and stalwarts Taeshan City Miners. Meanwhile SS Skiveness impressed in the Globe Cup, eliminating Capivarans 31 Cudmundópolis and mighty Fontvielle Impact with an away goals victory after a rocking night at Driftwood Park. But not content with that historic victory, how about a stunning 6-3 home win over Firewood City to reverse a 1-2 first leg defeat in the qualifying round? It perhaps so far ranks as the most famous Bonesligg club victory in UICA competition, and as a spectacle was more like a domestic churning contest than we have so far seen in international club football.


Champions Cup First Preliminary Round

(CSE) Royal Clovethistly 1–7 Athletic Spit (BSE) 0–4 1–3

Globe Cup First Preliminary Round

(CPV) 31 Cudmundópolis 1–3 SS Skiveness (BSE) 1–0 0–3
(BSE) Grasshopper Club 5–3 Castleford Athletic (TMB) 2–1 3–2

Series B Champions Cup Cup First Preliminary Round

(BSE) Blue Boys FF 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera (AUD) 1–0 0–0
(VIL) Jlinal Cove 4–2 Celtic Skein (BSE) 3–0 1–2


Champions Cup Second Preliminary Round

(BSE) Athletic Spit a 3–3 FC Atlantis (WRL) 1–1 2–2 (aet)

Globe Cup Second Preliminary Round

(FDA) Nabaek Sylph FC 3–3 a SS Skiveness (BSE) 3–1 0–2
(BSE) Start-93 2–2 p Navel Sharks (WRL) 0–2 2–0 (2–4 pen)
(BSE) Grasshopper Club 2–6 Olympia FC (EFL) 1–1 1–5

Series B Champions Cup Cup Second Preliminary Round

(ETN) Redbridge 0–3 Blue Boys FF (BSE) 0–1 0–2


Champions Cup Play-off Round
(TAE) Taeshan City Miners 2–3 Athletic Spit (BSE) 0–2 2–1

Globe Cup Play-off Round

(BSE) SS Skiveness a 2–2 Fontvielle Impact (VLD) 1–0 1–2

Series B Champions Cup Cup Play-off Round

(BSE) Blue Boys FF 1–2 Littleshaw Village (OSR) 1–1 0–1
(BRP) Icurus FC p 2–2 Armada Club (BSE) 1–1 1–1 (2–0 pen)


Globe Cup Qualifying Round[/b] 

(BSE) SS Skiveness 7–5 Firewood City (OSR) 6–3 1–2



TOMORROW in your Boldsport: Oppenligg!
Greasy Churning Under Full Steam
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-583 Oppenligg

Postby Bonesea » Sat May 13, 2017 1:07 am

Image

Image
Oppenligg!

Bonesligg-583: Boldclub Hit With Points Deduction & Youth Ban
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Dub Meadows
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

Before the season even reached the halfway mark and the end of the Oppenligg, Florence Boldclub have been hit with a five point deduction for illegal transfer dealings in their under-19 team, Bold Youth, and a three year ban on youth signings. The ban relates to the signing of Kukalayan youngster Mano Onio from 1883 Dakura Fútsal, whose complaint that Mano was 'tapped up' was upheld by the Fellowship of The Greasy Churn. This could have had dire consequences for the chaotic club, who already looked like they were going to struggle this season, but the reality couldn't be further from expectation; the Boldclub have had fine start and despite a couple of early wobbles, are dominating the division against all odds. The points deduction drops them from first to fourth in the ligg and they must know the title could well be beyond them, but there is certainly no sign of the much-talked about troubles or a season of woes. That seems reserved for Viking Tananger - very much in line with expectation - as Chilli-Bean Acosta and Buzza McCarthy struggle to cope with such a small squad. Largely the season is shaping up as planned with SS Skiveness and Athletic Spit at the sharp end, but they have been joined by a rejuvenated Marine who sit comfortably in second place at the end of the Oppenligg phase.


Bonesligg-1
Oppenligg Summary

Image
. Bonesligg-One Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 SS Skiveness 18 8 7 3 47 32 +15 31
2 Marine 18 8 6 4 36 23 +13 30
3 Athletic Spit 18 8 5 5 33 28 +5 29
4 Florence Boldclub 18 10 3 5 48 29 +19 28*
5 Start-93 18 7 3 8 31 45 −14 24
6 Torpedo Spitney 18 6 5 7 40 41 −1 23
7 Moss FC 18 6 5 7 35 41 −6 23
8 Gymnasia Scold 18 6 3 9 35 34 +1 21
9 Grasshopper Club 18 5 4 9 34 49 −15 19
10 Viking Tananger 18 3 5 10 25 42 −17 14

*5 points deducted

Grasshopper Club 5–5 SS Skiveness
Start-93 1–0 Torpedo Spitney
Moss FC 2–2 Viking Tananger
Gymnasia Scold 0–3 Florence Boldclub
Marine 1–1 Athletic Spit

SS Skiveness 1–0 Athletic Spit
Florence Boldclub 1–3 Marine
Viking Tananger 3–1 Gymnasia Scold
Torpedo Spitney 0–0 Moss FC
Grasshopper Club 5–1 Start-93

Start-93 1–1 SS Skiveness
Moss FC 7–0 Grasshopper Club
Gymnasia Scold 1–3 Torpedo Spitney
Marine 1–0 Viking Tananger
Athletic Spit 0–3 Florence Boldclub

SS Skiveness 5–1 Florence Boldclub
Viking Tananger 1–1 Athletic Spit
Torpedo Spitney 0–1 Marine
Grasshopper Club 1–3 Gymnasia Scold
Start-93 0–3 Moss FC

Moss FC 0–2 SS Skiveness
Gymnasia Scold 9–0 Start-93
Marine 3–0 Grasshopper Club
Athletic Spit 5–3 Torpedo Spitney
Florence Boldclub 5–3 Viking Tananger

SS Skiveness 4–2 Viking Tananger
Torpedo Spitney 3–5 Florence Boldclub
Grasshopper Club 3–0 Athletic Spit
Start-93 1–5 Marine
Moss FC 1–5 Gymnasia Scold

Gymnasia Scold 5–0 SS Skiveness
Marine 3–0 Moss FC
Athletic Spit 1–1 Start-93
Florence Boldclub 3–3 Grasshopper Club
Viking Tananger 1–5 Torpedo Spitney

SS Skiveness 3–3 Torpedo Spitney
Grasshopper Club 6–0 Viking Tananger
Start-93 3–0 Florence Boldclub
Moss FC 1–5 Athletic Spit
Gymnasia Scold 1–5 Marine

Marine 1–1 SS Skiveness
Athletic Spit 1–0 Gymnasia Scold
Florence Boldclub 0–3 Moss FC
Viking Tananger 3–1 Start-93
Torpedo Spitney 3–1 Grasshopper Club

SS Skiveness 3–1 Grasshopper Club
Torpedo Spitney 3–7 Start-93
Viking Tananger 1–3 Moss FC
Florence Boldclub 5–1 Gymnasia Scold
Athletic Spit 1–0 Marine

Athletic Spit 5–3 SS Skiveness
Marine 1–1 Florence Boldclub
Gymnasia Scold 3–1 Viking Tananger
Moss FC 3–0 Torpedo Spitney
Start-93 7–0 Grasshopper Club

SS Skiveness 1–3 Start-93
Grasshopper Club 0–0 Moss FC
Torpedo Spitney 3–1 Gymnasia Scold
Viking Tananger 1–1 Marine
Florence Boldclub 1–0 Athletic Spit

Florence Boldclub 1–1 SS Skiveness
Athletic Spit 3–1 Viking Tananger
Marine 0–4 Torpedo Spitney
Gymnasia Scold 0–0 Grasshopper Club
Moss FC 5–0 Start-93

SS Skiveness 7–1 Moss FC
Start-93 3–1 Gymnasia Scold
Grasshopper Club 5–3 Marine
Torpedo Spitney 1–1 Athletic Spit
Viking Tananger 0–1 Florence Boldclub

Viking Tananger 1–1 SS Skiveness
Florence Boldclub 6–0 Torpedo Spitney
Athletic Spit 4–2 Grasshopper Club
Marine 0–0 Start-93
Gymnasia Scold 1–1 Moss FC

SS Skiveness 3–0 Gymnasia Scold
Moss FC 0–6 Marine
Start-93 0–1 Athletic Spit
Grasshopper Club 1–0 Florence Boldclub
Torpedo Spitney 3–3 Viking Tananger

Torpedo Spitney 1–1 SS Skiveness
Viking Tananger 2–0 Grasshopper Club
Florence Boldclub 7–1 Start-93
Athletic Spit 4–4 Moss FC
Marine 1–1 Gymnasia Scold

SS Skiveness 5–1 Marine
Gymnasia Scold 2–0 Athletic Spit
Moss FC 1–5 Florence Boldclub
Start-93 1–0 Viking Tananger
Grasshopper Club 1–5 Torpedo Spitney



Bonesligg Lower Divisions
Oppenligg Summary

Image
. Bonesligg-Two Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Gullravens FC 18 11 1 6 51 33 +18 34
2 Turbine FF Gallowsea 18 9 5 4 45 37 +8 32
3 Fishers Grimsea 18 8 7 3 37 28 +9 31
4 1.FC Tocklehove 18 8 6 4 40 33 +7 30
5 Blue Boys FF 18 7 5 6 41 30 +11 26
6 Oysterhaven Reds 18 6 5 7 28 35 −7 23
7 Celtic Skein 18 6 4 8 41 39 +2 22
8 Armada Club 18 5 6 7 33 39 −6 21
9 Turbine Moss FF 18 5 3 10 34 43 −9 18
10 Industria SS 18 2 4 12 22 55 −33 10


Image
. Bonesligg-Three Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Skelling Club 18 10 3 5 45 31 +14 33
2 Tundra Axle FC 18 9 3 6 45 40 +5 30
3 Whelm Town Welfare 18 9 2 7 48 40 +8 29
4 Kickers FF Sand 18 9 2 7 39 40 −1 29
5 17.FF Tolling 18 7 5 6 43 45 −2 26
6 Spartans FF Liarby 18 6 6 6 31 28 +3 24
7 Academical 18 7 2 9 45 44 +1 23
8 1.FC Bøe 18 7 1 10 43 48 −5 22
9 Guillemots 18 5 4 9 48 54 −6 19
10 Combine Tamness-Nordby 18 4 6 8 26 43 −17 18


Image
. Bonesligg-Four Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Stockett Brigade 18 10 4 4 43 32 +11 34
2 St. Leah Gaels 18 8 4 6 33 36 −3 28
3 Irsha-57 SK 18 6 8 4 36 29 +7 26
4 Rapid FF Kells 18 7 4 7 39 35 +4 25
5 Crows Club 18 7 4 7 43 40 +3 25
6 Rangers Tocklehove FF 18 4 10 4 34 36 −2 22
7 Banners FC Skiveness 18 5 7 6 34 39 −5 22
8 Hearts AFC 18 5 6 7 40 37 +3 21
9 Penchant & District 18 5 6 7 33 42 −9 21
10 East Spit Casuals FC 18 2 9 7 18 27 −9 15


Image
. Bonesligg-Five Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Blackskull Club 18 8 6 4 36 30 +6 30
2 Skullion FF 18 8 5 5 24 18 +6 29
3 Otters Club 18 7 7 4 30 26 +4 28
4 FC Harbourwights 18 6 9 3 22 16 +6 27
5 Bannerclub Clun 18 6 7 5 17 26 −9 25
6 Herring Club 18 6 6 6 29 27 +2 24
7 Club Zenega 18 4 11 3 20 18 +2 23
8 Aero Fennby 18 3 8 7 32 33 −1 17
9 Washaway FC 18 4 5 9 18 31 −13 17
10 Dogside Works FF 18 4 4 10 24 27 −3 16



UICA-67
Group Stage Round-Up

Athletic Spit became the first side to qualify out of the Champions Cup group stage from a tight group, losing both ties against group winners Flanders FC but crucially taking four points each off the other two, including the probable group favourites and one of UICA's elite clubs, Tanrısal - with a famous victory in Pasarga to seal their place in the latter stages of the competition. Things of course don't get any easier and The Ancients are paired with surprise Audioslav champions KT Moreazerua in the first knockout round. SS Skiveness took a similar tally in their Globe Cup group with a tidy 8 points to their name, including the double over Holdenburg of Eura and two impressive draws against Carter FC, another of the UICA 'royal family'. But it wasn't enough for them to progress with Carter's nine points eliminating The Herrings.

Champions Cup Group Stage

Group B Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts Fla Spt Tan LNA
1 Flanders FC COM 6 3 3 0 16 8 +8 12 — 4–3 1–1 5–0
2 Athletic Spit BSE 6 2 2 2 8 9 −1 8 1–3 — 0–0 1–0

3 Tanrısal PAS 6 1 3 2 5 7 −2 6 1–1 1–2 — 1–0
4 La Nueva Avenida FFD 6 1 2 3 6 11 −5 5 2–2 1–1 3–1 —

Globe Cup Group Stage

Group L Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts BCo Car Skv Hol
1 Blue Coast 1981 PCR 6 3 2 1 7 4 +3 11 — 3–1 1–1 1–0
2 Carter FC JSY 6 2 3 1 10 8 +2 9 0–0 — 3–1 4–2

3 SS Skiveness BSE 6 2 2 2 7 8 −1 8 0–2 1–1 — 2–1
4 Holdenberg EUR 6 1 1 4 6 10 −4 4 2–0 1–1 0–2 —



Skellingkop
Early Rounds Summary

With an extra round that doubles the entry for the Skellingkop to 128 teams, the eventual victor must negotiate through seven games to win the coveted national cup title. The first shock comes in the second round when Ligg-4 side Banners FC of Skiveness dump Grasshoppers out with a 4-3 penalty victory after holding on for a 1-1 draw, while Marine also exit at the second round stage after a tight clash with Ligg-1 rivals Athletic. Florence Boldclub knock three-in-a-row Gymnasia Scold in the third round after extra time and penalties, Banners FC continue their impressive run with a win over 1.FC Tocklehove, and Spite Rovers are the only non-league club left standing after wins over Sandness FC, SCB-Alliance and Mosquitos, all fellow non-leaguers. As might be expected there are several big wins in the competition so far with the Boldclub's 11-1 win at Golden Lion the biggest so far.

Kop-1

UZZZR Exiles Club 0–1 Orchids
Red Orca 1–1 United Altafriqana (1–2 AET)
SS Skiveness 3–1 St. Leah Gaels
Academical 7–0 Gannet FC
Penchant & District 1–1 Shale Athletics Union (1–1 AET) (6–5 pen.)
Industria SS 4–3 Moss Thistle FC
Omnibus Athletic 3–7 Banners FC Skiveness
Discordian Wanderers 0–4 Gymnasia Scold
Mission Sparta 3–4 Washaway FC
East Spit Casuals FC 2–0 Gullmarket Isambards
Scotvik FF 0–0 Spittal County (0–0 AET) (5–4 pen.)
Skullharrow Jets 0–4 Rapid FF Kells
Gargantua 0–0 Tunns Club (0–1 AET)
Gargoyles Club 0–4 Florence Boldclub
Skelling Club 1–3 Oysterhaven Reds
Olympic Gallowsea 0–1 Coffin Island Rangers
Turbine Moss FF 5–3 Strand Rose
Blackskull Club 1–3 Grasshopper Club
Florentine Rose 0–8 Moss FC
SS Skaya 0–1 Tugboat Marines FC
Admiral Cossentine 0–3 17.FF Tolling
Viking Spit SK 0–0 FC Harbourwights (1–1 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Otters Club 2–0 Scold Thunder FC
Sandness FC 1–1 Spite Rovers (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.)
1.FC Tocklehove 4–1 Heralds Club
Nordfold Browns 1–5 Stockett Brigade
Tolga Maroons 1–1 Kickers FF Sand (1–1 AET) (5–4 pen.)
Spartans FF Liarby 4–0 Dockyard Peloton
Moss Whalers 0–4 Aero Fennby
Murrow FC 1–1 Stingrays (1–1 AET) (1–3 pen.)
Irsha-57 SK 6–1 Clunwardine Leopard
Bonehouse Violet 1–0 Dogside Works FF
Dial Tavern Brawlers 2–2 Saltby Town (3–2 AET)
FTK Whelm 1–7 Start-93
Marine 9–0 SSC Ringdale
Blue Boys FF 5–0 Armada Club
Spit City 0–2 Longby SS
Captain Amble FC 1–1 Basques (1–2 AET)
Whelm Town Welfare 9–1 Club Zenega
FC Berserkr 1–7 1.FC Bøe
Tundra Axle FC 1–1 Tolling Orient (2–1 AET)
Batallion 0–8 Fishers Grimsea
Celts Club 1–1 Athletic Spit (1–2 AET)
Combine Tamness-Nordby 1–0 Hearts AFC
Angaby FF 0–2 Golden Lion
Turbine FF Gallowsea 1–5 Celtic Skein
SCB-Alliance 3–0 SS Hammerdale
Herring Club 1–5 Viking Tananger
Union Skive 4–1 Oyna & Gritting Combine
Crabbers Club 0–2 Tundra FC
Skullion FF 1–0 Tamarindian Club
Bonesea Air Force Club 2–1 Vetting Islanders
Rise Thistle 0–1 Refugee Club
Viking Hallingby SK 0–4 Gullravens FC
Bannerclub Clun 5–1 Bleary Athletic
Mosquitos 1–0 Slatterness Amateur
Torpedo Spitney 3–1 SS Spittalsea
Hemness Nuclear 3–2 Solomon FC
Crows Club 6–0 Neskullen Argyle
Rangers Tocklehove FF 3–0 Spit Whistle Club
AirBone SSC 1–6 Combined Varsity Athletics Union
Gallowsea Ramblers 0–3 Combine FF Pikefells
Lundsea Pier FC 1–2 Terrier Club
Guillemots 1–3 Bonesea Mountain Rescue AC


Kop-2

Union Skive 1–6 Terrier Club
Golden Lion 1–11 Florence Boldclub
Whelm Town Welfare 3–1 Gullravens FC
Industria SS 5–1 Rangers Tocklehove FF
Tunns Club 2–0 Stingrays
Aero Fennby 3–0 East Spit Casuals FC
Tundra FC 1–6 Viking Tananger
Moss FC 3–1 Scotvik FF
1.FC Bøe 5–7 Combine FF Pikefells
Washaway FC 2–0 Coffin Island Rangers
Mosquitos 5–4 Academical
Bonehouse Violet 3–6 Otters Club
Longby SS 0–0 Penchant & District (0–0 AET) (2–3 pen.)
Marine 1–1 Athletic Spit (1–2 AET)
Combined Varsity Athletics Union 3–5 Rapid FF Kells
FC Harbourwights 1–8 Oysterhaven Reds
Celtic Skein 1–1 Blue Boys FF (1–1 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Basques 3–1 Combine Tamness-Nordby
Banners FC Skiveness 1–1 Grasshopper Club (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Tolga Maroons 0–0 Hemness Nuclear (1–0 AET)
Fishers Grimsea 0–3 SS Skiveness
Skullion FF 0–7 Start-93
SCB-Alliance 1–2 Spite Rovers
Gymnasia Scold 7–0 Bonesea Air Force Club
Bonesea Mountain Rescue AC 0–0 17.FF Tolling (0–1 AET)
Tugboat Marines FC 0–6 Tundra Axle FC
Crows Club 1–0 Stockett Brigade
Dial Tavern Brawlers 0–2 Refugee Club
Orchids 0–8 Turbine Moss FF
Spartans FF Liarby 0–0 Bannerclub Clun (1–0 AET)
United Altafriqana 1–4 1.FC Tocklehove
Torpedo Spitney 3–1 Irsha-57 SK


Kop-3

Gymnasia Scold 1–1 Florence Boldclub (1–1 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Whelm Town Welfare 2–0 Rapid FF Kells
Tunns Club 0–4 Industria SS
Banners FC Skiveness 3–1 1.FC Tocklehove
Moss FC 5–0 Basques
SS Skiveness 5–0 Terrier Club
17.FF Tolling 2–0 Combine FF Pikefells
Spartans FF Liarby 0–9 Athletic Spit
Otters Club 4–6 Oysterhaven Reds
Tolga Maroons 0–6 Start-93
Penchant & District 1–6 Viking Tananger
Spite Rovers 2–1 Mosquitos
Turbine Moss FF 1–1 Crows Club (1–1 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Aero Fennby 4–3 Refugee Club
Torpedo Spitney 0–0 Tundra Axle FC (1–0 AET)
Blue Boys FF 1–1 Washaway FC (2–2 AET) (3–4 pen.)



TOMORROW in your Boldsport: Shuttligg!
They Think It's All Over - And They Will Be Correct, Too
Last edited by Bonesea on Sat May 13, 2017 9:46 am, edited 2 times in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-583 Shuttligg

Postby Bonesea » Sat Jun 03, 2017 3:13 pm

Image

Image
Bonesligg Champions

Florence Boldclub

Chaos off the field, player departures - including Bonesea's finest player of the modern era - points deductions, tapping up scandals... nothing could derail the magnificent return to form of Des Jeruselem's Boldclub, The Green Fairies, as they marched to an impressive season with what would have been a decade-high points tally if they had not managed to lose five through a deduction from the Fellowship of The Greasy Churn. Recovering from a disappointing previous season where they finished fifth, the Boldclub were in magnificent form: and it did not look anything like it would turn out this way when Tuw Turk left for foreign fields, and Daveth Restoria came in his place, released from Start-93 after failed turns both at The Geese and before that across town at Athletic. Two ageing foreigners in player-manager Des Jeruselem and Daineri Asteróide had the seasons of their lives to revive the Boldclub, while Erik Marlowe the Nepharim striker stepped up another level. Turning to experience to see them through a tumultuous era for the club, Quebeçois drag queen and coach of indeterminate gender Jeruselem proved his/her management skills to guide the team seamlessly through a fine season, also reaching another cup final before falling at the last hurdle to last season's ligg champion Athletic, after eclipsing them in every way through the domestic season.

If there is any concern for the future it is how much reliance was placed on the old guard - Asteróide is 39 now and Jeruselem 36 - but there was a lot to like in youngster Oto, Asteróide's 17 year old compatriot as well as Redvalian Renato Moleiro and Sunrisian Arichi Kunorikato - both still in their formative years, while centreback Loze Cotterill, 22, plays with the composure and awareness of a man almost twice his age. Jeruselem's exotic team featured fourteen foreigners in the twenty-five man squad to quietly and without fanfare overtake the 'foreign legion' at SS Skiveness, and that was a contributory factor in the Green Fairies dominance this season, with three Tamarindians in Illand Penaluna, Pablo Barros and Erasmo Félix forming the brick wall at the back with Cotterill from which all the success sprang. But hitting over 100 goals in the season is a rare feat in the top flight and Erik Marlowe with 31, Asteróide with 27 and Othergates O'Sullivan coming into his own with 25 terrorising defenses as the Tamarindians terrorised forward lines up and down the Bonesligg. This is very much a team in transition too: the Boldclub have hit the front ahead of schedule, according to the coach.


Image
. Bonesligg-One Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Florence Boldclub 36 21 8 7 104 61 +43 66* Oranjibol
2 SS Skiveness 36 16 13 7 82 55 +27 61 Blue Marble
3 Gymnasia Scold 36 16 5 15 89 72 +17 53 Blue Marble
4 Athletic Spit 36 15 8 13 78 77 +1 53 Blue Marble
5 Torpedo Spitney 36 13 11 12 81 75 +6 50
6 Start-93 36 14 7 15 73 90 −17 49
7 Marine 36 12 8 16 63 69 −6 44
8 Grasshopper Club 36 11 10 15 71 91 −20 43
9 Moss FC 36 8 12 16 65 92 −27 36
10 Viking Tananger 36 7 12 17 64 88 −24 33

*5 points deducted

Grasshopper Club 1–7 SS Skiveness
Start-93 3–3 Torpedo Spitney
Moss FC 1–1 Viking Tananger
Gymnasia Scold 1–3 Florence Boldclub
Marine 7–7 Athletic Spit

SS Skiveness 1–0 Athletic Spit
Florence Boldclub 1–0 Marine
Viking Tananger 3–0 Gymnasia Scold
Torpedo Spitney 1–1 Moss FC
Grasshopper Club 3–1 Start-93

Start-93 1–1 SS Skiveness
Moss FC 1–3 Grasshopper Club
Gymnasia Scold 5–3 Torpedo Spitney
Marine 1–5 Viking Tananger
Athletic Spit 1–3 Florence Boldclub

SS Skiveness 3–3 Florence Boldclub
Viking Tananger 5–9 Athletic Spit
Torpedo Spitney 1–0 Marine
Grasshopper Club 0–3 Gymnasia Scold
Start-93 5–1 Moss FC

Moss FC 0–3 SS Skiveness
Gymnasia Scold 1–3 Start-93
Marine 1–1 Grasshopper Club
Athletic Spit 0–1 Torpedo Spitney
Florence Boldclub 3–3 Viking Tananger

SS Skiveness 4–2 Viking Tananger
Torpedo Spitney 3–1 Florence Boldclub
Grasshopper Club 1–3 Athletic Spit
Start-93 3–1 Marine
Moss FC 1–6 Gymnasia Scold

Gymnasia Scold 2–2 SS Skiveness
Marine 1–0 Moss FC
Athletic Spit 3–1 Start-93
Florence Boldclub 5–1 Grasshopper Club
Viking Tananger 1–1 Torpedo Spitney

SS Skiveness 0–3 Torpedo Spitney
Grasshopper Club 1–1 Viking Tananger
Start-93 3–3 Florence Boldclub
Moss FC 8–3 Athletic Spit
Gymnasia Scold 3–1 Marine

Marine 0–1 SS Skiveness
Athletic Spit 4–2 Gymnasia Scold
Florence Boldclub 0–0 Moss FC
Viking Tananger 3–0 Start-93
Torpedo Spitney 3–3 Grasshopper Club

SS Skiveness 0–1 Grasshopper Club
Torpedo Spitney 7–1 Start-93
Viking Tananger 0–0 Moss FC
Florence Boldclub 5–3 Gymnasia Scold
Athletic Spit 0–5 Marine

Athletic Spit 0–0 SS Skiveness
Marine 1–8 Florence Boldclub
Gymnasia Scold 3–3 Viking Tananger
Moss FC 3–3 Torpedo Spitney
Start-93 1–5 Grasshopper Club

SS Skiveness 1–1 Start-93
Grasshopper Club 3–3 Moss FC
Torpedo Spitney 3–5 Gymnasia Scold
Viking Tananger 1–5 Marine
Florence Boldclub 1–5 Athletic Spit

Florence Boldclub 3–1 SS Skiveness
Athletic Spit 3–0 Viking Tananger
Marine 1–0 Torpedo Spitney
Gymnasia Scold 1–3 Grasshopper Club
Moss FC 1–5 Start-93

SS Skiveness 5–1 Moss FC
Start-93 3–7 Gymnasia Scold
Grasshopper Club 5–1 Marine
Torpedo Spitney 1–0 Athletic Spit
Viking Tananger 3–5 Florence Boldclub

Viking Tananger 1–3 SS Skiveness
Florence Boldclub 3–1 Torpedo Spitney
Athletic Spit 4–4 Grasshopper Club
Marine 1–3 Start-93
Gymnasia Scold 5–0 Moss FC

SS Skiveness 1–3 Gymnasia Scold
Moss FC 5–1 Marine
Start-93 5–0 Athletic Spit
Grasshopper Club 0–3 Florence Boldclub
Torpedo Spitney 3–5 Viking Tananger

Torpedo Spitney 1–1 SS Skiveness
Viking Tananger 1–1 Grasshopper Club
Florence Boldclub 3–0 Start-93
Athletic Spit 3–1 Moss FC
Marine 0–1 Gymnasia Scold

SS Skiveness 1–0 Marine
Gymnasia Scold 3–0 Athletic Spit
Moss FC 3–3 Florence Boldclub
Start-93 3–1 Viking Tananger
Grasshopper Club 1–3 Torpedo Spitney


With Florence Boldclub dominating the division despite their points deduction, SS Skiveness were left trailing in their wake as the easily second best side in the division. Much improved on their disappointing third placed title defence of the previous season, they couldn't get close to the Green Fairies but showed the promise for the future seasons: the problem for them will be the transition with the sensational sacking of Audioslav management pair Escobar de Cabanyas and Devin de Valle at the end of the season after a rumble in the boardroom. Rumour has it resourceful 1.FC Tocklehove are ready to make the pair an offer they can't refuse to guide the Tockles back to the top flight, but where this leaves the Herrings is anyone's guess. Finishing in third place and not really surprising anyone with their remarkable pool of young talent, Gymnasia Scold finally escaped the annual struggle at the bottom of the league to put in a best-of-the-rest performance ahead of reigning champions Athletic Spit, who will be disappointed with a fourth placed finish. Gymnasia really do look like a team on the up.

The opposite could be said of the southern pair of Moss FC and Viking Tananger, who both struggled - Moss unexpectedly so, their stability and development over recent years suggesting they are an annual bet for solid mid-table placing. But the Bryophytes had a poor season by their own standards, especially missing the talents of Stokoe Bartail who upped and left for SS Skiveness. Meanwhile, for the Vikings, this was the culmination of a steady decline and legendary joint managers Chilli-Bean Acosta and Buzza McCarthy are struggling to find the magic they had as players, with their team looking out of contention from the very start. Chilli-Bean has already suggested he may quit the game if he can't turn his beloved Viking around, and sadly, no-one is betting on his to succeed as the Vikings now drop to the bottom of the three-season cumulative relegation table. Fortunately for them Armada Club in Ligg-2, who still have a two-season window to gain a promotion place, look a little past their best. As the league, the Fellowship of The Greasy Churn and the clubs sit down to negotiate a league restructure, the Vikings will be concerned that any reintroduction of automatic relegation is going to leave them with real problems.

Cumulative Relegation Summary
Bonesligg-1
Avg. 583 582 581
Gymnasia Scold 47.0 53 48 40
Marine 46.3 44 49 46
Moss FC 45.0 36 49 50
Torpedo Spitney 41.0 50 33 40
Viking Tananger 40.0 33 39 49



UICA-67
Latter Stages Round-Up

(BSE)             Athletic Spit    0–0 p  KT Moreazerua             (AUD)   0–0   0–0  (1–3 pen)

The Ancients came so close to a Champions Cup quarterfinal place against the mighty Audioslavs, containing them for 210 long minutes over two games before going down to penalties in front of their own broken-hearted supporters at the St.Leah's Ground. Mozi dominated for long periods in both matches but could not break down the stirling defence marshalled by defensive signings William Busque and Daineri Shelyak; in the end, with the deadlock unbreakable, it came down to cool heads in the shoot-out. Experience told as the visitors slipped through the tie by the skin of their teeth, and a second UICA campaign was over for the Bonesfolk.


Bonesligg
Final Standings - Lower Divisions

Gullravens came from nowhere to thoroughly dominate the second division, boosted by the sining of Ligg-2 player of the season Paddack Coffey, released from Mercedinian side Alton Swifts after just one season and looking for a way back into Boney football. He certainly found it at the Ravens where he led the forward line and scored a divisional record 41 goals in 36 games, and falling only two short of the national record held by legendary Viking Tananger striker Taribio Gallo's 43 goal haul back in their title-winning season of '74. Finishing 13 points ahead of perennial bridesmaids Fishers Grimsea, the Ravens had it all their own way as the division failed to live with them for most of the season - former Gymnasia winger Gam McCrossin and Moss FC reject Rilla Downgate also thrived as their team looked a big cut above the rest.

Image
. Bonesligg-Two Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Gullravens FC 36 24 4 8 118 73 +45 76 Coupe de Moutard
2 Fishers Grimsea 36 17 12 7 88 59 +29 63 Coupe de Moutard
3 1.FC Tocklehove 36 16 11 9 78 56 +22 59 Coupe de Moutard
4 Blue Boys FF 36 16 10 10 78 59 +19 58
5 Turbine FF Gallowsea 36 13 11 12 68 73 −5 50
6 Celtic Skein 36 12 8 16 78 84 −6 44
7 Armada Club 36 10 13 13 67 77 −10 43
8 Oysterhaven Reds 36 9 8 19 58 82 −24 35
9 Industria SS 36 8 9 19 59 91 −32 33
10 Turbine Moss FF 36 9 6 21 61 99 −38 33 Relegated


Cumulative Promotion Record
Bonesligg-2

583 Gullravens FC
582 Armada Club
581 Armada Club
580 Torpedo Spitney *Promoted
579 Torpedo Spitney


Whelm Town Welfare make an immediate return to the second tier with a tight championship title win ahead of Skelling Club and Tundra Axle FC in a three horse race, while two former national champions in Kickers and 17.FF continue to languish at a level their fans would consider beneath them. Guillemots did what they had been threatening to do for some time and dropped into the fourth tier, as Combine defied the odds as a two-village joint team drawing on a population of under 500 Clunwardians to remain in Ligg-3. Rangers Tocklehove will replace Guillemots in a local switch and can only dream of catching their cross-town masters 1.FC who are now just one unthinkable division above. Famously accursed club Washaway FC, once of the top division and based in one of the country's larger towns, continue to demonstrate terminal decline with their second basement finish - and the subsequent Rubbishpoon award - in three years knowing that another season like this in the next two years will leave them facing re-election. The last team to come up against the re-election panel at the Fellowship were Marine-B, and they did not survive the vote.

Image
. Bonesligg-Three Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Whelm Town Welfare 36 16 10 10 97 70 +27 58 Promoted
2 Skelling Club 36 16 9 11 79 68 +11 57
3 Tundra Axle FC 36 16 8 12 80 82 −2 56
4 Kickers FF Sand 36 14 6 16 62 81 −19 48
5 17.FF Tolling 36 12 11 13 65 76 −11 47
6 Spartans FF Liarby 36 11 13 12 58 58 0 46
7 Academical 36 12 9 15 87 84 +3 45
8 1.FC Bøe 36 12 9 15 83 87 −4 45
9 Combine Tamness-Nordby 36 11 12 13 56 67 −11 45
10 Guillemots 36 11 11 14 94 88 +6 44 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Four Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Rangers Tocklehove FF 36 15 13 8 83 62 +21 58 Promoted
2 Banners FC Skiveness 36 14 11 11 74 70 +4 53
3 Rapid FF Kells 36 14 8 14 70 63 +7 50
4 Stockett Brigade 36 14 7 15 81 77 +4 49
5 Crows Club 36 14 7 15 83 80 +3 49
6 Irsha-57 SK 36 12 13 11 66 70 −4 49
7 Hearts AFC 36 13 9 14 75 63 +12 48
8 Penchant & District 36 12 10 14 57 81 −24 46
9 East Spit Casuals FC 36 10 15 11 61 60 +1 45
10 St. Leah Gaels 36 12 7 17 59 83 −24 43 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Five Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Skullion FF 36 18 11 7 57 29 +28 65 Promoted
2 Otters Club 36 16 14 6 64 43 +21 62
3 Herring Club 36 13 13 10 56 49 +7 52
4 Blackskull Club 36 12 12 12 66 66 0 48
5 Bannerclub Clun 36 12 11 13 46 59 −13 47
6 FC Harbourwights 36 10 16 10 41 37 +4 46
7 Aero Fennby 36 8 18 10 69 63 +6 42
8 Dogside Works FF 36 10 12 14 45 48 −3 42
9 Club Zenega 36 6 19 11 41 64 −23 37
10 Washaway FC 36 6 12 18 37 64 −27 30 Rubbishpoon


Cumulative Re-election Record
Bonesligg-5 Rubbishpoon

583 Washaway FC
582 FC Harbourwights
581 Washaway FC
580 Banners FC Skiveness
579 Bannerclub Clun
Washaway FC will face re-election if they finish bottom in SB-584 or 585


Image

Image
Skellingkopfinal

Florence Boldclub 2-2* Athletic Spit *AET; H/T 1-1 F/T 1-1 Penalties: 4-5
[i]@ St.Leah's Ground, Spittalsea. Attendance 21,400

Goals: Des Jeruselem (7') Asteróide (104') / Teppo the Viking (17') Nobb Jones (110')

Player of the match: Teppo the Viking (Athletic)
Booked: Donkey Ray Harton, Mewan Stacey, Teppo, IC Lassiter (Athletic);
Illand Penaluna, Erasmo Félix, Othergates O'Sullivan (Boldclub)


Player Ratings
Florence Boldclub			Athletic Spit

Illand Penaluna [7.1] Donkey Ray Harton [7.7] Match Statistics
Loze Coterill [6.2] Shelyak [6.7]
Pablo Barros [6.8] William Busque [6.9] Poss (%): 49/51
Erasmo Félix [7.4] Lash Jones [6.3] Shots: 10-16
Des Jeruselem [7.3](1) Nobb Jones [7.1](1) On Target: 4-8
Jean-Luc Sanna [7.3] Reskadinnick Jones [7.5] Pass Comp(%): 72-75
Tathai Rigby [6.2] Mewan Stacey [6.1] Corners: 3-5
Erik Marlowe [7.6] Cade Jones [6.8] Fouls: 16-6
Asteróide [8.0](1) Hércules Menezes [7.6] Yellow cards: 3-4
Othergates O'Sullivan [6.4] Teppo Gulbrandsen [8.0](1) Reds: 0
Félix Djaide [6.2] Wron Jones [7.7]

Subs Used Subs Used
Alfie Hill [8.0] IC Lassiter [6.4]


The Viking Does It Again!
Florence Boldclub 2-2p Athletic Spit

In the tightest of finals you'd ever imagine witnessing, the difference was Athletic's Teppo the Viking (Gulbrandsen), who for the second season in a row had a major influence on the game and came away with the player of the game award, having played a blinder and scored the winner last season for Viking Tananger before moving in the off-season to the Ancients. While Athletic were marginally the better team all over the park, it was Teppo who stood out, making this his favourite fixture of the season: he now has four winners medals. But even the Viking couldn't separate these teams during the course of 120 minutes and it took a penalty shoot-out, the sixth in the history of Skellingkopfinals, to decide a winner.

Athletic had to twice come from behind in this game as first player-manager and captain Des Jeruselem inside the first ten minutes and then veteran Asteróide in extra time put the Green Fairies out in front, before Teppo and Nobb Jones got quick equalisers for the Ancients. Despite twice leading, Florence could not dominate the game and it was Athletic who made most progress, with more corners, more shots and more on target than the league champions, who were looking for an historic third double. On the day, Athletic just about edged the game in regular time and looked the more dangerous in the added thirty minutes, but Florence's Tamarindian defence held strong throughout to limit Athletic to the two equalisers. Athletic become the second team, after the Boldclub, to win the Skellingkop without ever being in the lead - Florence did it in '61 following the most unspectacular 0-0 draw with Marine.

As penalties got underway, it was Teppo again who won the day. After eight penalties the game was finely poised until, surprisingly, Asteróide - who had rivalled Teppo for the player of the match award up to that point, blasted straight down the middle with Athletic keeper Donkey Ray Harton anticipating his plan and remaining in his place to bat the rocket away. With the final kick of ten, Teppo dispatched his kick with aplomb to seal the victory for The Ancients, and thus deny Florence another double.



Skellingkop Season-583
Latter Rounds

The last remaining non-ligg team fell at the fourth hurdle in spectacular fashion as Spite Rovers were smashed to smithereens by the Herrings up in Skiveness, but it was across town that the big underdog story emerged as SS Skiveness' feeder team Banners FC continued to defeat higher ranked teams in each round as they had right from the first, following up an impressive 3-1 home win over 17.FF Tolling with perhaps the shock of the competition, a famous win by the same margin at mighty Ligg-1 giants Moss FC. Reaching the semi-final for the first, and probably the last time, they must have been hoping for the slightly easier draw of Oysterhaven Reds, the Ligg-2 side who had been fortunate to win through an easy run to the semis. But it wasn't to be for Banners, as they drew one of the two remaining 'big boys' in Athletic Spit and all their luck, hard work, determination, luck, fortune, pluckiness and luck ran out in a 0-9 reverse. Nevertheless, they had gone much farther than they had any right to, and had surpassed the run of their neighbours and cup specialists SS.

Kop-4

Aero Fennby 0–1 Washaway FC
Moss FC 0–0 Industria SS (1–0 AET)
Oysterhaven Reds 4–0 Crows Club
Banners FC Skiveness 3–1 17.FF Tolling
Torpedo Spitney 3–0 Start-93
Whelm Town Welfare 0–3 Florence Boldclub
Viking Tananger 1–5 Athletic Spit
SS Skiveness 9–0 Spite Rovers


Kop-5

Oysterhaven Reds 3–1 Washaway FC
Florence Boldclub 3–1 Torpedo Spitney
Moss FC 1–3 Banners FC Skiveness
Athletic Spit 1–0 SS Skiveness


Kop-6

Oysterhaven Reds 0–3 Florence Boldclub
Athletic Spit 9–0 Banners FC Skiveness


Skellingkopfinal

Florence Boldclub 1–1 Athletic Spit (2–2 AET) (4–5 pen.)



Image

Florence Boldclub may be in all the trouble with their dubious transfer activity, particularly as it relates to the young Kukalayan Mano Onio; but they have certainly enjoyed their churning this season with the league title, a Kopfinal appearance, and also winning the inaugural national youth championship, the Juvenligg. Despite the controversy over Onio's signing, the youth team were not deducted points in the league as this sanction was delivered to the senior team - but even with a similar punishment, Bold Youth would've taken the title with a six-point margin and considerable goal differential. Exciting the small crowds attending the Juvenligg games for Bold Youth were their stylish striker and aptly named Gorgeous Woodcock, half back Canine Sands, Vættling centreback Trond Ramberg and Daineri youth signing Axsiuu from the Doubleplusgood academy. Rarely seen but often talked about was young outside right Copernicus Robinson, 14, who rumour has it will rise to greatness pretty soon, if all the assessment charts are to be believed.

SS Skiveness' Young Offenders FC were just about the best of the rest in a tightly-contested race for the runner-up spot, led by international youth keeper Toll Gurvey, centre-forward RI Madders and refugee left-winger from the ZZZR Vukasin Puchta. Athletic Spit's Young Folk FC, featuring younger Jones brothers Clem, Shye and Menhennick, struggled to balance their league season with the demands of UICA youth football as the nation's first representative in the nineteenth UICA Youth Cup, where they narrowly missed out on a spot in the final rounds after a good showing in the group stage, finishing third.

Other outstanding prospects spotted in the Juvenligg this first season include Aidan Laughingull, the centreback at Start-93; highly rated female prospect Serenity Keel at Chavo along with male counterparts Derry de Syngleton and Nepharim national Korbinian Foxstone; Tamarindian outside midfielder Rafael Aguirre at Latiñeros; Franco Fraser at Ocean Cadets; and the J.Ligg-2 championship winning trio at Turbine FF Gallowsea under-19s, Lysander Jones, Bull Ogden and Laois Eaton-Spencer.

Image
Juvenligg-1 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bold Youth 22 14 2 6 47 28 +19 44
2 Young Offenders FC 22 11 5 6 37 31 +6 38
3 Rigger Monkeys 22 10 6 6 52 27 +25 36
4 Juvenil 22 9 6 7 39 47 −8 33
5 Latiñeros 22 9 5 8 41 45 −4 32
6 Grasshopper u19 22 7 9 6 47 39 +8 30
7 Chavo 22 8 4 10 46 41 +5 28
8 Viking Youth 22 6 7 9 48 59 −11 25
9 Young Refugees FC 22 6 6 10 46 51 −5 24
10 Ocean Cadets 22 6 6 10 43 53 −10 24
11 Young Folk FC 22 6 6 10 39 52 −13 24
12 Orphanage FC 22 5 8 9 35 47 −12 23

Image
Juvenligg-2 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Turbine u19 22 13 5 4 63 41 +22 44
2 Red Boys 22 11 7 4 49 27 +22 40
3 Junior Blues 22 11 5 6 57 40 +17 38
4 Celtic u19 22 12 2 8 65 58 +7 38
5 Young Fishers 22 11 2 9 35 54 −19 35
6 Amblesea Juniors 22 9 4 9 54 47 +7 31
7 Start u19 22 8 7 7 47 44 +3 31
8 Sparta 22 7 7 8 37 38 −1 28
9 Gulls u19 22 7 5 10 38 45 −7 26
10 Gymnasia u19 22 7 2 13 38 42 −4 23
11 Orient YC 22 5 5 12 45 60 −15 20
12 Torpedo Juniors 22 4 3 15 43 75 −32 15


UICA Youth Cup 19

  Group B                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts   LNA  Tan  Spt  Fla
1 La Nueva Avenida FFD 6 3 3 0 11 7 +4 12 — 2–2 3–2 1–0

2 Tanrısal PAS 6 2 2 2 10 9 +1 8 2–2 — 1–0 2–3
3 Athletic Spit BSE 6 2 1 3 7 7 0 7 1–1 1–0 — 2–0
4 Flanders FC COM 6 2 0 4 6 11 −5 6 0–2 1–3 2–1 —



TOMORROW in your Boldsport: In Review
Audiodrama at The Herrings, Women of The Greasy Churn, Johnny Foreigner Report and more...
Last edited by Bonesea on Sun Jun 04, 2017 12:57 am, edited 3 times in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-583 Review

Postby Bonesea » Sun Jun 04, 2017 5:48 am

Image

Image
Season In Review

Bonesligg-583: Green Faeries & The Ancients Dominate
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Dub Meadows
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

And that was the season that was. Florence Boldclub won the title for a record-equalling twelfth time, matching the fading star of Marine FC who tried a change of name and so far have not benefitted in the slightest, except to confuse onlookers and create extra work for the graphics department here at Boldsport. SS Skiveness went into meltdown at the end of the season and fired their management team, Asteróide became the first foreigner since his boss Des Jeruselem to win the Fellows Award for player of the season, and Larrick Jones-Gummo at SS impressed in his first season as a regular to win the Young Fellows award. Nepharim striker Erik Marlowe took the Golden Boot at the Boldclub, while Margeir Simonsen of the Herrings got the Golden Glove. With his club embroiled in off-the-field controversies Des Jeruselem unfortunately missed out on the Argånger Award for manager of the season which went to veteran Wellard Corfe for lifting his Gymnasia side off the bottom and into the Colour Cup qualification places. In the lower divisions it was all about Paddack Coffey, returning from a stint abroad to light up Ligg-2 for his team Gullravens FC who stomped to the second tier crown. Former Purple Generation BoF finalist and outside forward Backside Chang impressed in his first season in management, taking Whelm Town Welfare to the third tier title and an immediate return to Ligg-2.


Awards & Records
Season-583

Champions:	Florence Boldclub (12th title)
Runners-Up: SS Skiveness
Third Place: Gymnasia Scold

Kop Winners: Athletic Spit (6th title; 9 finals)
Runners-Up: Florence Boldclub (8th final)

Taxhavn Colour Cups Qualifications

Oranjibol: Florence Boldclub
Blue Marble: SS Skiveness
Gymnasia Scold
Athletic Spit
C de Moutarde: Gullravens FC
Fishers Grimsea
1.FC Tocklehove
Duck Cup: Athletic Spit

EkstraKop-583: Florence Boldclub vs. Athletic Spit
(Super Cup season opener)

Lower Ligg Champions

Bonesligg-2: Gullravens FC
Bonesligg-3: Whelm Town Welfare (promoted)
Bonesligg-4: Rangers Tocklehove (promoted)
Bonesligg-5: Skullion FF (promoted)
Spittaligg-A: SS Spittalsea

National Youth League
Juvenligg-1: Bold Youth
Juvenligg-2: Turbine u-19

Player Awards

Fellows Award: Asteróide (DAI)(Florence Boldclub)
(Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Ogma Codd (Gymnasia Scold)
Third Place: Jose Enrique (USI)(SS Skiveness)

Bonesligg-2: Paddack Coffey (Gullravens FC)
Bonesligg-3: Felipe Benitez (TAM) (Whelm Town Welfare)
Bonesligg-4: Eméric Forge (Banners FC Skiveness)
Bonesligg-5: CR Craddock (Skullion FF)

Golden Boot: Erik Marlowe (NPH)(Florence Boldclub) 31 goals
Runner-Up: Asteróide (DAI)(Florence Boldclub) 27

Bonesligg-2: Paddack Coffey (Gullravens FC) 41
Bonesligg-3: Raj Mounter (Whelm Town Welfare) 37
Bonesligg-4: Burley Walters (Crows Club) 25
Bonesligg-5: Dimma Flushing (Aero Fennby) 21

Golden Glove: Margeir Simonsen (VAE) (SS Skiveness)
Runner-Up: Illand Penaluna (TAM) (Florence Boldclub)

Bonesligg-2: Tabby Lanner (1.FC Tocklehove)
Bonesligg-3: YK Tatum Tintagel (Spartans FF Liarby)
Bonesligg-4: Benny Callington (East Spit Casuals)
Bonesligg-5: Dromio Truscott (Skullion FF)

Young Fella: Larrick Jones-Gummo (SS Skiveness) 19 years
(Young Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Oto (DAI) (Florence Boldclub) 17
Third Place: Nemesio Adams (EFL)(Gymnasia Scold) 18

Bonesligg-2: Rodric Badders (Gullravens FC) 19
Bonesligg-3: Raj Mounter (Whelm Town Welfare) 19
Bonesligg-4: Stithian O'Steen (Banners FC) 19
Bonesligg-5: Cocó (USI) (Herring Club*) 20
On loan from Florence Boldclub

Argångaward: Wellard Corfe (Gymnasia Scold)
(Coach of The Season)
Runner-Up: Escobar de Cabanyas & Devin de Valle (AUD)(SS Skiveness)

Bonesligg-2: Hastein Zelah (Gullravens FC)
Bonesligg-3: Backside Chang (QUE)(Whelm Town Welfare)
Bonesligg-4: FC Sumner (WGT)(Rangers FF Tocklehove)
Bonesligg-5: Thaleia Tuelmenna (Skullion FF)



Fellows Award: The Player of The Season
Asteróide
Centre Forward, Florence Boldclub

He's only 39... Daineri forward Asteróide, already one of the most loved players to wear the colours of the Boldclub, had a magnificent season for the champions as he lead the line, mentoring young Nepharim Erik Marlowe to the Golden Boot whilst bagging a handy 27 goals himself. As The Green Faeries swept aside all opposition to take the top spot despite a points deduction, it was Asteróide with his equally wizened player-manager Des Jeruselem who shone through, rolling back the years in a dominant display. Becoming only the second foreigner to win the Fellows Award - the first was Des - the rolling rock of a striker has enjoyed an Indian Summer in his career, and shows no sign of slowing down.

Fellows Award Previous Winners
SB-574Toribio Gallo, Viking Tananger
SB-575Conchobar Wickett, Spittalmarine
SB-576Des Jeruselem, Florence Boldclub
SB-577Nobb Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-578Reskadinnick Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-579Reskadinnick Jones (2), Athletic Spit
SB-580Tuw Turk, Florence Boldclub
SB-581Ursell Grayse-Lennox, SS Skiveness
SB-582Nobb Jones (2), Athletic Spit

Image
The Johnny Foreigner Report

The Low Down on our Bonesligg Migrants - Season 583
by Boldsport staff writer Johnny Foreigner

As the Fellowship of the Greasy Churn - that’s the Bonesea FA to you and me - opened the doors to travelling footballers from beyond the region of the Wide Enness Ocean in the late '70s, a gentle trickle - rather than a flood - of journeymen, women and persons of indeterminate gender have made this cold little quarter of the multiverse their home for football. None of them household names or great stars outside of the Boreal Islands, these incomers have generally lit up the local ligg and become domestic heroes here even if barely known back in their homelands. The Bonesligg is a hunting ground for journeymen grafters and youngsters perhaps looking for a second chance after failing to cut the mustard back home. What everyone hopes is that one or two rough diamonds might be unearthed to bring something a little more exotic to the game. And there are certainly a few of them - emphasis on rough.

Our compadres from around the region have been coming here for decades of course, and in the likes of Chilli-Bean Acosta and Lilian Mbo we have Tamarindians and Zenegalesi taking the Oath of Fealty, becoming boney-fide citizens and pulling on the shirt of The Sailors to represent, so it’s not like we’re not used to foreign types coming over here, showing us how to apply the greasy churn: we love it. All welcome. Always have been, always will be. Well, apart from Homo Alfus. And religious types. Oh, and Gregorians, unless they are refugees from the system like our loyal National Butler, Benny Gruelmaker. But apart from them, everyone’s welcome.

Of course, the way we play it at home is a little… rougher… and muddier… and… greasier... than the widely appreciated international variant of Association Football; in Greasy Churning, one must be prepared for a spot of wrestling. It won’t be everyone’s cup of Boney Tea, that’s for sure. So who made the switch with bruising grace? And who got floored on their first outing? Welcome to the Johnny Foreigner Report, your annual round-up of the Football Migrants gracing our game.

Arriving for the start of the '83 season were Shelyak (DAI) to Athletic Spit; Tryggve Axelsson (USI) and Sham'a Ranger (EFL) to Start-93; Jose Enrique (USI) to SS Skiveness; Arquimides & Jeronimo (both USI) to Grasshopper Club; Etel Csonka (PAS) to Moss FC; Fingal Altimimy (COS) to Marine FC; Nemesio Adams (EFL) and Baldomiro el Ogro (LAS) to Gymnasia; and Tanque (DAI), Sarah XSV (IRN), Ivy Herrick (NPH) and Ravinger (DAI) to Torpedo Spitney. Blue Boys FF became the first lower league club to sign a foreign national directly from abroad with the capture of Glloum from Palestra in Dainer, followed by Fishers Grimsea's signing of Narahboson from Isper, also in Dainer. This season also saw the first departures of players from foreign countries returning to more temperate climes - Semalis Delmar Baxter, Jeppe Melker, Matthias Eggleton and Carmelo Karl all departed, along with Sunrisians Jojo Valentine and Gore Mijahlovic.


Johnny Foreigner Award SB-583
Asteróide
Centre Forward, Florence Boldclub

The plaudits continue for Asteróide, becoming the first player to win both the Fellows Award and the Johnny Foreigner Award, and also the first to win the JF twice, having done so in his first season in Boney football back in '79 four seasons ago. Playing as if he were half his age, the rumbunctious forward and local legend continues to break legs and win admirers all over Bonesea with his no-nonsense approach, and pipped three Bonesligg debutants to the award. Jose Enrique of the Herrings, Baldimiro el Ogro at Gymnasia and Tanque at Torpedo all impressed in their first seasons up north, while the Nepharim Ivy Herrick, also at Torpedo Spitney, was the outstanding female in a new wave of women opening up the Greasy Churn. Seven of the top ten imports were new this season, displacing favourites like Leonardo Ducaldo, Lobjstein and last years Johnny Foreigner Adel Nzonzi.

Johnny Foreigner Award Previous Winners
SB-579Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub
SB-580Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness
SB-581Leonardo Ducaldo (USI), Grasshopper Club
SB-582Adel Nzonzi (SEM), SS Skiveness

Performance Summary*

Name			Nat.	Pos.	Club			Rating

Asteróide DAI CF Florence Boldclub 9.68
Jose Enrique USI IR SS Skiveness 9.54
Baldomiro el Ogro LAS IL/R Gymnasia Scold 9.47
Tanque DAI HB Torpedo Spitney 9.42
Hércules Menezes USI CF Athletic Spit 9.27
Ivy Herrick NPH CB Torpedo Spitney 9.20
Shelyak DAI CB Athletic Spit 9.16
Ravinger DAI HB Torpedo Spitney 9.15
Piet Masschelin VLG CF SS Skiveness 9.08
Tryggve Axelsson USI CB Start-93 9.02

Oto DAI HB Florence Boldclub 8.96
Etel Csonka PAS OL Moss FC 8.66
Erik Marlowe NPH CF Florence Boldclub 8.54
João Batata USI OL Athletic Spit [3] 8.44
Mika Paprika USI HB Grasshopper Club 8.34
Arquimides USI CB Grasshopper Club 8.33
Nemesio Adams EFL OL Gymnasia Scold 8.24
Jeronimo USI OL Grasshopper Club 8.16
Sarah XSV IRN OR Torpedo Spitney 8.06
Vojislav Pitalesharo ABI CF Start-93 8.03
Adel Nzonzi SEM OR SS Skiveness 8.01
Anders Boness SEM GK Grasshopper Club 7.99
Lobjstein HUE HB SS Skiveness 7.92
Filipp Nashoba ABI CF Moss FC 7.88
Leonardo Ducaldo USI CF Grasshopper Club 7.76
Renato Moleiro RED CB Florence Boldclub 7.70
Fingal Altimimy COS HB Marine 7.66
Sham'a Ranger EFL CF Start-93 7.44
Karl Boness SEM GK Gymnasia Scold 7.34
Arichi Kunorikato USI IR Florence Boldclub 7.24
Mateo Rossini USI/OSS IR/L Grasshopper Club 7.09
Jannick den Linds SEM HB Marine 6.98
Zé Caramba USI GK Marine 6.91

Lower League Players

Scott Balde USI GK Aero Fennby [2] 9.02
Glloum FAF CF Blue Boys FF 8.80
Narahboson AES CB Fishers Grimsea 8.72
Paracoílson CPV CF Herring Club 7.82
Kvetoslav Irniq ABI CF Irsha-57 SK 7.82
Schreck DAI IL 1.FC Tocklehove 7.75
Mochi Yoshinami USI CF Aero Fennby [4] 7.65
Cocó USI IR Herring Club [1] 7.26
Jørgen Berthelsen USI IR Aero Fennby [2] 7.25

Youth League Players

Axsiuu DAI IL Bold Youth

# clean sheets
[1] on loan from Florence Boldclub
[2] on loan from Grasshopper Club
[3] transferred from Florence Boldclub
[4] transferred from Grasshopper Club


* excludes players from Wide Enness Ocean region



Special Feature
Women of The Greasy Churn

Ivy Herrick's impressive season with Torpedo Spitney, where she was hugely instrumental in lifting the basement club into the middle echelons of Ligg-1, is the headline in what is becoming a much more open discussion on the place of women in Greasy Churning, and in particular of unisex competition. Whilst there has never been a bar on women competing in the Bonesligg and with Bonesea scoring very highly in indicators on gender equality across the Wide Enness Ocean, the Boney version of football is a far more physically attritional game than the international and widely appreciated variant. This has resulted in a natural divide with Boneswomen gravitating toward the sport of Bola, a more technical game with higher skill levels closer to the international code, but the divide is beginning to be broken, as Ivy Herrick has comfortably demonstrated. The first woman to play in the modern Bonesligg was Boldclub's young starlet from the Sunrisian Islands, Cocó, who debuted last season after two seasons in Bold Youth. It was not an easy introduction for the inside forward who struggled at the top level and has been playng on loan for Boldclub's feeder team Herring Club in the fifth tier. At the top level, Ivy Herrick has been joined this season by Eastfielder Sham'a Ranger at Start-93, Ironite Sarah XSV also at Torpedo, and Pasargan Etel Csonka at Moss FC. All three women had impressive seasons, easing some of the doubts of commentators who had not been impressed with Cocó's first season and were reaffirmed in the belief that playing the Churn was a Man's Game. The Triumvirate as they are collectively labelled have begun to overturn that. But what of Boneswomen in the Ligg? When will that happen?

There has been a longer tradition of female managers in the Ligg with several now managing at different levels, including Ifni Anderson (Industria SS) and Malia Grew-Marley (Celtic Skein) in the second tier. Daphne Polmear (17.FF Tolling) Cierra Smith and Dorca Cadwell (both at Moss FC) have all managed in the top flight historically. But there have not been female players since the very earliest days of the sport when the shift between Greasy Churning and Bola brought a gender divide, back in the very first years of the Bonesligg. With the new success of the immigrant women at the top level, clubs are beginning to rethink and actively support the development of young women into the churn. Marine and Torpedo are leading the way with women numbered in their youth teams, while Grasshopper Club and Florence Boldclub both have young women in their feeder teams, Aero Fennby and Herring Club respectively. But Viking Tananger are out in front in the top flight in terms of developing Boneswomen for the Churn - having promoted outside right Ragnhild Row into their squad for the season, at the tender age of just sixteen. Tipped as possibly the first Boneswoman to ply the churn for her country, she has yet to make a Bonesligg debut but is expected to become the first Boneswoman to do so next season.


Audiodrama
Herrings Fire de Cabanyas & de Valle

In a stunning end of season development that seemed to come from nowhere, the board of SS Skiveness sensationally sacked Audioslav management pair Escobar de Cabanyas and Davin de Valle after they guided their side to second place in the league. The decision was made after a heated boardroom row, Boldsport understands. A split seems to have formed around the recruitment policy, with the Audioslavs determined to recruit from abroad and claiming that was the purpose of their appointments, while the board are looking for more support for their academy, Young Offenders FC. An irreconcilable gap developed between the thinking of the board and the managers, and after some threats, bluffs and posturing behind closed doors, the board acted to fire it's hugely popular joint managers. In five seasons at Driftwood Park, the Herrings never finished outside of the top three, winning back-to-back titles in '80 and '81, and reaching the group stage of the Globe Cup in UICA cycle 67. The managers were responsible for the modernisation of the current team with an impressive injection of foreign talent including Lobjstein, Piet Masschelin and Jose Enrique.

Early rumours suggest that second tier 1.FC Tocklehove, impatient for a return to the top flight, have stolen a march on the rest of the league and won an agreement in principle to sign the management pair for next season, with generous 'allowances' to attract strictly amateur foreign nationals that 'Ez & Dav' had been targetting for next season at The Herrings.


Fellowship Make Official Announcement
Boneseligg Re-organisation Deal Reached

After intense negotiations with clubs and the administrators at the Fellowship of The Greasy Churn who have to keep track of all the players in the league, a compromise proposal on re-organisation has been reached. Head of the Fellowship Professor Kett wanted a sixteen team top division, something the administrators were opposed to. He also wanted automatic promotion and relegation - something the top clubs were naturally opposed to while the rest supported it. The final deal, to be implemented after the SB-585 season, will be an expansion of all divisions to 12 teams, a double- rather than quadruple-round robin season (reducing to 22 games and a month and a half off the season), with an expansion by 10 teams into the bottom fifth tier to make up the numbers. Automatic promotion and relegation will return to the top flight after a 12-year absence in which the cumulative promotion rules applied - the top flight will be a one-team promotion/relegation, while from ligg-2 downwards, a 2-up/2-down rule will apply for more fluid mobility.


The Golden Watch
Year 583 Inductees

Every year an undefined number of former (and maybe, potentially, current) players, officials and other related staff will be inducted and given an actual commissioned gold watch from the highly sought-after watch maker Schu-Tallinger of Reselia, as well as membership to The Golden Watch club. Membership is given for outstanding contributions to the greasy churn.

Inductee 32:	Conchobar Wickett; former Marine striker holds the national team scoring record - 52 goals in 78 appearances, retired 482.
Inductee 33: Idless Jones; Marine and national team striker, 23 goals from 48 caps. Retired 582.
Inductee 34: Zipper Smith; Former national team captain & keeper, played for Marine & Athletic Spit. Retired 583.
Inductee 35: Knut Plain; keeper for Florence Boldclub 566-581 & Torpedo Spitney, 581-583; retired.


PREVIOUS INDUCTEES
Inductee 1:	Pythagoras Jones; first national team manager (SB-572 onwards)
Inductee 2: Des Jeruselem (RKQ); first transgender international for Bonesea (SB-572/74)
Inductee 3: Varrick Jones; player for Athletic Spit (741 apps; 134 goals), retired.
Inductee 4: KP Scrote; outstanding player of BoF’62 & World Cup’75 national squads (SB-572/74), retired.
Inductee 5: Toribio Gallo (TAM); player for Viking Tananger (476 apps; 330 goals), retired.
Inductee 6: Sebastiene Narbonensis (WGT); chair, Fellowship of The Greasy Churn
Inductee 7: Vine Dawkins, CF, played for 1.FC Tocklehove for 22 seasons, 594 games, 243 goals. Retired.
Inductee 8: Kingsley Smith, IR, 503 games for Florence Boldclub, scoring 116 goals. Retired.
Inductee 9: Hermon Tuquevoix, IR, 678 games for Athletic Spit, 185 goals. Retired.
Inductee 10: Professor Kett, manager of Viking Tanager 558-575; assistant manager Bonesea national, co-inventor of the Argånger.
Inductee 11: Billy Sermons; won 16 caps for the national team (SB-572/75), player for Florence Boldclub. Retired.
Inductee 12: Tuelmenna Jones; long-serving striker for SS Skiveness, 26 seasons, 603 games, 311 goals, retired.
Inductee 13: Izzy Worthette; Journalist, editor at Boldsport, for services promoting the sport
Inductee 14: Bodiccius Crane; former halfback for Florence Boldclub, retired
Inductee 15: Jérôme Paris (SEP); former centreforward for Florence Boldclub, retired
Inductee 16: Doctor Iris Gramm (Mother Gramm); director of the Overgiven orphanage, for services to young players
Inductee 17: Kite Bohenna; former outside right at 1.FC Tocklehove (retired SB-580); 533 games for the club. 108 goals.
Inductee 18: Kenny Rising; legendary and beloved halfback at SS Skiveness SB-556-580; 709 games, 31 goals.
Inductee 19: Shilling Blue; centreback of the Purple Generation, played for Start-93. 36 caps, 3 goals, Cup of Harmony winner.
Inductee 20: Julien Thayer (SEP); winger for Viking Tananger, retired.
Inductee 21: Tuathal Yellowbill; introverted inside right for SS Skiveness, 22 years, retired.
Inductee 22: Marcellin Gagne (SEP); legendary inside forward for Start-93; 483 apps, 147 goals, 32 red cards.
Inductee 23: Ernie Skewer; crowd favourite centre-forward Grasshopper Club, came through the leagues with them.
Inductee 24: Baba Dika (ZEN); outside left, captain and legend at Grasshopper Club, 531 appearances.
Inductee 25: Buzza McCarthy; centre forward, player coach and joint manager of Viking Tananger (played 558-581)
Inductee 26: Maslorius Iremonger; former winger for SS Skiveness, 433 appearance, 82 goals; retired.
Inductee 27: Abdul-Aziz Zaman (BBS); first Berber inductee, former striker for Florence Boldclubl; 519 apps & 208 goals.
Inductee 28: Nöl Forest (SEP); fourth Septen Islander inducted, striker for Start-93; 477 appearances, 152 goals.
Inductee 29: Carharrack Olsen; legendary centreback for Athletic Spit; 502 games; 21 goals. Retired.
Inductee 30: Úlfr Rask (VAE); the joint-first Vaettling inductee; another legend, playing 572 games as inside left for Marine, scoring 117 goals.
Inductee 31: Alf Hall (VAE); joint-first Vaettling inductee; all-time great forward from Gymnasia Scold; 550 games & 219 goals.
Last edited by Bonesea on Sun Jun 04, 2017 7:15 am, edited 7 times in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-584 Preview

Postby Bonesea » Sat Jun 17, 2017 2:39 pm

Image

Image
Around Again

Bonesligg-584: Your Guide To The Season
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Dub Meadows
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

The pixels are hardly dry on the last season of Bonesligg thrills and spills, and the reporting team are back in the office to prepare for the next round of Greasy Churning - that's football to you and me - in the cold and windy realms of the island of Bonesea. Florence Boldclub overcame the chaos, the bookies odds and a five point deduction to stroll to the title last time out in one of the most dominant seasons witnessed in a champion for many many years. Despite losing key personnel, and apparently recruiting poorly to fill the gaps, the Green Faeries were unstoppable under legendary young player-coach and drag queen of indeterminate gender, Des Jeruselem. SS Skiveness ended a solid season on a low with Audioslav coaches Escobar de Cabanyas and Davin de Valle falling out with the board and being sensationally sacked despite four consecutive top three finishes and two titles in the pair's four-season tenure at the club. They immediately signed terms with Ligg-2's biggest and most ambitious club, 1.FC Tocklehove, with former Herrings hero Kenny Rising taking over the reins at Driftwood Park. Oh, and one minor tidbit to add: Bonesea won World Cup hosting rights. Yes. A long-shot bid allegedly unsanctioned by sports ministers in the House of Bones was submitted by the Fellowship of The Greasy Churn along with new running-mates Cosumar of - unbelievably - the Ao region. A plot that includes planes, trains and a fight at the infamous Discord Bar in Spittalsea, nobody imagined for a minute that success would follow in the bidding process and eyebrows have been raised all the way from here to Afghalinora. More on that later. While planners try to figure out how to host fifteen of the multiverse's finest footballing nations - and Bonesea - we'll get back to the mud and snow of the Bonesligg.

Let's do this...


Boldclub Battered As Storm Winds Blow
More Upheaval In Florence

Cult legend player-manager Des Jeruselem had warned the supporters of the Green Faeries before the start of last season that it would be his/her last as a player before hanging up his boots, which turned out to be pretty bad news as he had one of his/her finest seasons on the field as the Boldclub put their woes behind them to romp to the title. His/her outstanding season alongside fellow vet Asteróide was the highlight of a great season for the team who had been written off from the start. But things have turned even worse for the Boldpark residents as coach Jeruselem announced his/her complete retirement from the game following the destruction of his/her hometown back in the RKQ; whilst not ruling out a return to Bonesea - or indeed to international management - in the future (s/he is also stepping down from his assistant manager role to Pythagoras Jones and the national team), the man the woman the myth the legend the diva the bouffant the queen of drag and keeper of the finest bonehouse in the Boreal Islands will leave Florence Boldclub with immediate effect to join a mission of mercy in his/her striken homeland. The Narrative Committee are scrambling to sign him/her up to an exclusive Boney Hex six-part documentary story of his/her mission before s/he disappears. Meanwhile that leaves the Boldclub in flux, with two years of a three-year transfer ban still to run and no manager...


Audiodrama Continues
De Cabanyas Quits Tockles For Green Faeries

Controversial manager Escobar de Cabanyas, the former Audioslav midfielder, has sensationally quit 1.FC Tocklehove before a ball has been kicked in anger to take over the most glamorous job in Bonesligg churning, as manager of Florence Boldclub. Replacing the much-loved Des Jeruselem, de Cabanyas has big shoes - covered in diamante sequins - to fill and is a hugely unpopular choice among fans after four years at SS Skiveness where he was quite outspoken about his rivals and their inadequacies. Coach Jeruselem was a frequent target of his mind-game approach. De Cabanyas and his Audioslav colleague Davin de Valle were red-hot in their time at The Herrings, both as player-coaches and then having stopped playing as tracksuit managers. A huge row in the boardroom after four successful seasons saw them ousted, with former player and coach Kenny Rising stepping into the breach. The Audioslav pair - Ez & Dav - were quickly snapped up by ambitious 1.FC, with The Tockles underperforming since dropping to the second tier and cancelling the contract of coach Grant Ventonmire. But de Cabanyas has walked away from the club before the start of the season to take up the role at the Boldclub, where he will have to overcome considerable scepticism in order to thrive. Davin de Valle has not followed him, preferring to honour his contract at 1.FC and allegedly causing a rift between the two. The Tockles' management syndicate are also reportedly furious with de Cabanyas for leaving them in the lurch, although publicly they have put their weight behind Davin de Valle to succeed on his own.


Err, World Cup?
Committee Votes For Bonesea (& Cosumar, of course)

With an underwhelming 12:6 winning margin from under 30% voter turnout at the World Cup Committee headquarters, Bonesea will host one half of Wold Cup '78 alongside bidding partners from Ao, Cosumar - the nation that has twice spoiled the World Cup for The Sailors in the recent history of Bonesea participation. But putting their on-field differences and regional tensions behind them - we continue to deny government-sponsored privateering in Ao international waters and that Falcanian sinking was patently an accident - the two nations teamed up after secret talks and a distinct lack of government oversight to produce an outsider bid for the coming competition. Focusing on the depoliticisation of the World Cup, the bid was never expected to succeed and there was a great deal of grumbling behind closed doors from the politicos who, unsurprisingly, weren't keen on depoliticisation. Somehow managing to convince 19% of the World Cup Committee that being friendly was enough of a qualification to host a major tournament, and at least not offending 70% more by being inoffensive enough that they all stayed home on voting day, the I-Heart-WC plan was approved. Reports of behind-closed-doors grumbling in the austere halls of the WCC and the shabby backroom snugs of punchy retreats like the Discordion bar in Spittalsea and foreign sports bars such as the famous Snark's Chamber pub chain, continue to hit the spambox of the Fellowship's communications office. Ah well. Now the nation is scrambling to produce a plan for hosting some of the biggest nations in world football, and rumours abound that Threemilestone off the Spit Peninsula, locally called Kettle Island, will be the site of a massive football village including four stadiums to host all the matches - once the Threemilestone-C nuclear power plant has been decommissioned and Alf Kettle, the island's sole inhabitant, can be convinced to sell his little rock and rehouse his famous flock of Boney 'Glowdark' goats.


Less Purple Every Year
Quebeçois Trio Jeruselem, Shanty & Chang Retire

Fourteen years ago, five Quebeçois recruits from the dockside in the largely abandoned city of Burgess were recruited into the makeshift squad of sailors about to compete in the 62nd Baptism of Fire. Each swore the Oath of Fealty to Bonesea according to the custom of the sea under the watchful authority of (then Captain) Ratio Suckling, thus becoming naturalised Bonesmen (and person of indeterminate gender). Four went on to light up the tournament as the Purple Bruise (on account of their garish kits) - they were Bernard Eugene (BE) Lawson, Alain-Napoléon Marchand, Marouaine Chiasson (aka Wanger Shanty), and Desirée (Des) de Jeruselem; while the fifth, Yun Ji Chang was shot in an incident before the commencement of the competition in Gotham, and missed the tournament in recuperation. He would forever after be known as Backside Chang on account of his injury. All five were drifters, waifs, strays with nothing better to do, except arguably Desirée who was recruiting for a brothel she was running back in Gotham and making a decent living as a drag queen. All returned as heroes to Bonesea following a final appearance in their debut tournament and were taken to heart with new purpose in the Boreal Islands. They were part of the Purple Generation - the first group of players to represent Bonesea in international football. BE Lawson retired from football soon afterward to concentrate on a steady if unremarkable career in local government administration. Napoléon, rising to the top of the game along with Des and Wanger Shanty, sought fame and fortune abroad, and now enjoys life in the tropical jungles of Turori, and is now the last Quebeqi-Bonesman standing, as the other two, along with Backside Chang, all retired from playing this season. While Des Jeruselem did not long play with the national squad, s/he carved out a fine player-manager reputation at Florence Boldclub and took on the national team assistant role when Professor Kett moved upstairs. S/he has suddenly and unexpectedly retired from all churning activity forthwith. Wanger Shanty proved the man with staying power, his brilliant career as a full-blooded half-back with SS Skiveness and Bonesea resulting in 71 international caps with 11 goals, a Cup of Harmony winners medal and two league titles with SS Skiveness in his trophy cabinet. He retires to take up a career in television at Cuffy Smith's Audio Visual Supermarket in Scold where he is, apparently, promising AV retail management material. Backside Chang, who never quite made it to the heights of the others, but nevertheless won a single Bonesligg title with Marine, continues his role as coach at Whelm Town Welfare, where he took over the reins as player-manager last season and guided them to the Ligg-3 title and promotion. He has hung up his boots now to manage full time.

Of the twenty-three-man squad that represented Bonesea in that tournament - the Purple Generation - only six remain actively playing: the three Jones brothers and sons of the manager Pythagoras - Reskadinnick, Wron and Nobb Jones at Athletic Spit - along with Skua Ortiz at Gymnasia Scold and Napoléon at Cednia Beach AFC in Turori. And then there is Chilli-Bean Acosta, the nation's favourite, who holds the all-time appearance record. He has stepped down from international duty as his churning career winds toward a close, but he will continue to grace the Bonesligg for a couple more seasons yet. At 29, Nobb Jones is the youngest of the six, and three of them - Reskadinnick, Nobb and Skua - continue to appear for the national team. They look good for one last hurrah in a domestic World Cup finals series in year 586 of the Symmetrical Bonesea Calendar, when Skua will hope to reach his 100th cap for the nation.


Image
Club By Club

Prospecting For Season 584
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Starling Maw

The Boldclub defied the odds last season to win the title despite chaos and key departures, and they will have to pull off another miracle this season - surprise new manager Escobar de Cabanyas will be looking to hit the ground running. Two key veterans in the beloved Des Jeruselem and equally worshipped Tamarindian half back Erasmo Félix both called time on illustrious careers at the Boldpark, creating two massive holes in the side that has dominated the churn for the best part of the last decade. And with two years of the transfer ban to go, they are not easy holes to fill. Also riding high on the back of a great season, Gymnasia Scold swooped for two big signings in young internationals Treme Yuval-Wise and Lee Kamine from Moss FC - whose fans must be despairing of these losses. Athletic Spit also strengthened, notably with the Gym's Norris Smith and Viking's Idriss Labo; and Torpedo Spitney demonstrated a swing of power in the city as they managed to lure potential future national team captain Kite Cattran across town from Marine. The Mariners also lost Godwin Ba to Moss FC as they look to be on shaky ground themselves.


Image

Image
Champions – Florence Boldclub
Manager: Escobar de Cabanyas (AUD)
Captain: Loze Cotterill
Star: Erik Marlowe (NPH)
Fans’ Hero: Asteróide (DAI)
Watch For: Sek Riou - 19 (WEO-SEP)

In: Transfer ban until season 586.
Out: Renato Moleiro (RDV) to Torpedo Spitney; NR Smith to 1.FC Tocklehove; Cocó (USI) to SS Skiveness; Bui Wearne (abroad)
Retired: Erasmo Félix, Des Jeruselem

BoneBet: The Boldclub stunned everyone to overcome chaos last season and win the title, they won't do it twice - 7th.


Image
2nd – SS Skiveness
Manager: Kenny Rising
Captain: Rémi Fofana (WEO-ZEN)
Star: Ursell Grayse-Lennox
Fans’ Hero: Piet Masschelin (VDG)
Watch For: Toll Gurvey - 19

In: Adrián Larin (MED) from Marine; Cocó (USI) from Florence Boldclub
Out: Adel Nzonzi (SEM) to Viking Tananger;
Retired: Marouaine Wånger Shanty

BoneBet: It's a season of transition as the Herrings face life without their much admired Audioslav management team, but they still look strong – 3rd.

Image
3rd - Gymnasia Scold
Manager: Wellard Corfe
Captain: Swithian Kirk
Star: Ogma Codd
Fans’ Hero: Skua Ortiz
Watch For: Empy Horsedown - 18

In: Empy Horsedown from Turbine Moss FF; Treme Yuval-Wise & Lee Kamine from Moss FC;
Out: Goulchan Omnes to Marine; Norris Smith to Athletic Spit
Retired: Sæwine Hines

BoneBet: After a strong 5th placed finish last time, Gymnasia will look to improve - they have a really rather splendid looking team and impressed with their ambitious recruitment - 2nd.


Image
4th – Athletic Spit
Manager: Ruan Buzzard
Captain: Nobb Jones
Star: Reskadinnick Jones
Fans’ Hero: Donkey Ray Harton
Watch For: Stythyn Smith - 18

In: Norris Smith from Gymnasia Scold; Stythyn Smith from St.Leah Gaels; Idriss Labo (WEO-ZEN) from Viking Tananger; Július Svabo (WEO-VAE) on loan from Grasshopper Club
Out: Spider Scrivenor to Fishers Grimsea
Retired: -

BoneBet: After a disappointing title defence last season to finish 4th, expect the Ancients to bounce back - they certainly look the best of the lot this season: 1st.

Image
5th – Torpedo Spitney
Manager: Mulfra Gerbino
Captain: Riaz Yuhanna Teke (WEO-BBS)
Star: Thrand Minkoff
Fans’ Hero: Hrut Smith
Watch For: Pat Robinson - 17

In: Godfrey Mylor from Grasshopper Club; Renato Moleiro from Florence Boldclub; Kite Cattran from Marine
Out: -
Retired: Metherall Kersey-Edmonds

BoneBet: The Goats impressed last season with a mid-table finish but there are doubts they can maintain their competitiveness; it will still be a struggle without talisman Kersey-Edmonds – 10th.


Image
6th – Start-93
Manager: Buccus Hike
Captain: KG McKinley
Star: Tryggve Axelsson (USI)
Fans’ Hero: Duald Dunbar
Watch For: Alassana Dabo (WEO-ZEN) - 18

In: Alassana Dabo from Gambia Tanker (ZEN); AA Levanarre from 1.FC Tocklehove; Fugato St.Keane from Crows Club
Out: Pendoggett Perrera to Celtic Skein; Treveor Scudder-Millam to Moss FC
Retired: -

BoneBet: Always hard to predict; they've been strong against the odds in recent seasons but another mid-table finish seems a sensible bet – 5th.

Image
7th – Marine
Manager: Fistral McCrary
Captain: Nacho Zambrano (WEO-TAM)
Star: Rebbe Gyr
Fans’ Hero: Godfrey Jones
Watch For: Bantam Rosemergy - 18

In: Bantam Rosemergy from Bannerclub Clun; Goulchan Omnes from Gymnasia Scold; German Piper from Lár Mustangs (WEO-SCG); Elias G. Stearns (Saxe-Gotha) from Athletic Spit
Out: Kite Cattran to Torpedo Spitney; Cahir Treal & Nechtan Malley to AFC Corvistone (NPH); Godwin Ba (WEO-ZEN) to Moss FC; Adrián Larin (MDI) to SS Skiveness
Retired: -

BoneBet: How does Fistral McCrary manage to hold down his job overseeing such a decline in the fortunes of once-mighty Marine, losing stars - and probably games - all over the shop – 9th.


Image
8th – Grasshopper Club
Manager: Otteran ‘Otter’ Harrigan
Captain: Adama Koné (WEO-MK)
Star: Jay Witt
Fans’ Hero: Mika Paprika (USI)
Watch For: Legassick Tintagel - 19

In: Alonso de las Osas from Ad Aboldendam (WEO-NAV);
Out: Godfrey Mylor to Torpedo Spitney;
Retired: -

BoneBet: Grasshoppers had a bit of a disappointing season last time around but will expect to bounce back after failing to panic in the off-season – 4th.

Image
9th – Moss FC
Manager: Camillo Jones
Captain: Mithian Gibson
Star: Ruben Roche
Fans’ Hero: EA Skewes
Watch For: Treveor Scudder-Millam - 20

In: Treveor Scudder-Millam from Start-93; Godwin Ba from Marine;
Out: Lee Kamine & Treme Yuval-Wise to Gymnasia Scold; Tregue Mawgan to Fishers Grimsea
Retired: -

BoneBet: A poor showing last time out should be remedied for the Bryophytes, but supporters will be gutted to lose two of the bright young things in this team to northerners Gymnasia Scold – 6th.


Image
10th – Viking Tananger
Manager: Buzza McCarthy
Captain: Chilli-Bean Acosta
Star: Chilli-Bean Acosta
Fans’ Hero: Chilli-Bean Acosta
Watch For: Conley Maker - 18

In: Adel Nzonzi (SEM) from SS Skiveness; Trellion Smith from Spartans FF Liarby;
Out: Tómas Quinlan to Blue Boys FF; Idriss Labo to Athletic Spit
Retired: -

BoneBet: Chilli-Bean Acosta has stepped down as joint coach to leave Buzza McCarthy to lead a revival after finishing bottom last time around; it will be a slow process with small steps – 8th.

Image


Extrakop Special
Florence Boldclub 0-1 Athletic Spit
Goal: Teppo the Viking (24')

It was not the start that Escobar de Cabanyas would have hoped for in the season-opening special fixture between last season's title winners and kop champions, as Athletic won their second consecutive Extrakop. Reorganised as the first official Bonesligg match of the season, it now comes with added incentive as the points count toward the league: with a lunchtime kick-off, the game is immediately followed by a full round of ligg-1 matches and the full Bonesligg fixture list the following day. It means Florence Boldclub start bottom after Teppo the Viking's 24th minute winner in a game where the Ancients dominated and could easily have come out with four or five more. The Boldclub fans have not taken to their Audioslav head coach after he spent the last four seasons lambasting them as cheats, queers, drunks and faeries in mind-games with their former manager Des Jeruselem, who most neutrals agree won the psychological war by never batting a finely curled eyelash in de Cabanyas direction, let alone rising to the bait. He'll be regretting it now as he appeared on the touchline to quite a lot of jeering from his own supporters, and saw his side play without direction or passion. It's going to be a long hard season for the Green Faeries by the look of this first game.
Last edited by Bonesea on Sat Jun 17, 2017 2:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-584 Round-Up

Postby Bonesea » Sun Jun 18, 2017 2:47 am

Image

Image
Season SB-584

Stat Summary
By Boldsport number cruncher, Forgael Whitethrush

My esteemed colleagues Dub Meadows, Starling Maw and Johnny Foreigner will give you the analysis in the next post: I don't do the colour, just the numbers. What I can tell you is first-time manager Kenny Rising, stepping in for the Audioslav management team, led SS Skiveness to their tenth title in his debut season as a manager. For the departing duo, the glory days at The Herrings seem long gone: Davin de Valle failed to impress on his own at 1.FC Tocklehove in Ligg-2 where his team fell from a previous 3rd place finish to a struggling 8th, their worst season since dropping into the second tier. Meanwhile Escobar de Cabanyas, such a champion at SS Skiveness, failed miserably to even bed in at the Boldclub, where he was fired after 55 days and 7 games in charge, failing to win a single match and leaving with the Green Faeries bottom of the division. Ex-player and coach Billy Sermons, of Purple Generation fame, stepped in to rescue the season.



Image
. Bonesligg-One Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 SS Skiveness 36 18 9 9 87 53 +34 63 Oranjibol
2 Athletic Spit 36 17 9 10 73 44 +29 60 Blue Marble
3 Torpedo Spitney 36 17 8 11 76 71 +5 59 Blue Marble
4 Florence Boldclub 36 16 4 16 59 64 −5 52 Blue Marble
5 Moss FC 36 12 13 11 53 45 +8 49
6 Marine 36 12 11 13 57 55 +2 47
7 Viking Tananger 36 13 7 16 61 73 −12 46
8 Start-93 36 13 6 17 60 70 −10 45
9 Gymnasia Scold 36 9 13 14 49 62 −13 40
10 Grasshopper Club 36 6 14 16 42 80 −38 32


Cumulative Relegation Summary
Bonesligg-1
Avg. 584 583 582
Gymnasia Scold 47.0 40 53 48
Marine 46.6 47 44 49
Moss FC 44.6 49 36 49
Grasshopper Club 43.0 32 43 54
Viking Tananger 39.3 46 33 39


Image
. Bonesligg-Two Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Turbine FF Gallowsea 36 18 10 8 82 60 +22 64 Coupe de Moutard
2 Gullravens FC 36 18 7 11 80 74 +6 61 Coupe de Moutard
3 Blue Boys FF 36 14 14 8 89 60 +29 56 Coupe de Moutard
4 Armada Club 36 16 8 12 72 47 +25 56
5 Oysterhaven Reds 36 15 7 14 72 82 −10 52
6 Celtic Skein 36 12 14 10 65 64 +1 50
7 Fishers Grimsea 36 12 10 14 54 65 −11 46
8 1.FC Tocklehove 36 11 9 16 60 61 −1 42
9 Whelm Town Welfare 36 8 11 17 51 71 −20 35
10 Industria SS 36 8 6 22 54 95 −41 30 Relegated


Cumulative Promotion Record
Bonesligg-2

584 Turbine FF Gallowsea
583 Gullravens FC
582 Armada Club
581 Armada Club
580 Torpedo Spitney *Promoted


Image
. Bonesligg-Three Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Skelling Club 36 16 10 10 75 67 +8 58 Promoted
2 Spartans FF Liarby 36 15 10 11 86 65 +21 55
3 1.FC Bøe 36 16 7 13 87 77 +10 55
4 Combine Tamness-Nordby 36 15 10 11 79 76 +3 55
5 Kickers FF Sand 36 14 12 10 78 65 +13 54
6 Academical 36 13 13 10 74 65 +9 52
7 17.FF Tolling 36 14 10 12 80 75 +5 52
8 Rangers Tocklehove FF 36 11 10 15 57 70 −13 43
9 Tundra Axle FC 36 8 11 17 62 79 −17 35
10 Turbine Moss FF 36 5 13 18 58 97 −39 28 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Four Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Stockett Brigade 36 17 9 10 79 63 +16 60 Promoted
2 Hearts AFC 36 17 7 12 97 83 +14 58
3 Crows Club 36 15 10 11 89 71 +18 55
4 Banners FC Skiveness 36 16 4 16 76 74 +2 52
5 East Spit Casuals FC 36 15 7 14 69 72 −3 52
6 Guillemots 36 14 9 13 75 74 +1 51
7 Irsha-57 SK 36 13 10 13 70 64 +6 49
8 Rapid FF Kells 36 11 14 11 52 62 −10 47
9 Skullion FF 36 13 7 16 48 66 −18 46
10 Penchant & District 36 9 3 24 60 86 −26 30 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Five Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 St. Leah Gaels 36 21 8 7 73 41 +32 71 Promoted
2 Aero Fennby 36 17 7 12 82 58 +24 58
3 Otters Club 36 17 7 12 72 49 +23 58
4 Herring Club 36 15 7 14 43 49 −6 52
5 Washaway FC 36 13 9 14 57 53 +4 48
6 Dogside Works FF 36 13 9 14 42 55 −13 48
7 Bannerclub Clun 36 14 6 16 54 85 −31 48
8 Blackskull Club 36 10 16 10 62 41 +21 46
9 Club Zenega 36 9 8 19 47 78 −31 35
10 FC Harbourwights 36 7 11 18 34 57 −23 32 Rubbishpoon


Cumulative Re-election Record
Bonesligg-5 Rubbishpoon

584 FC Harbourwights
583 Washaway FC
582 FC Harbourwights
581 Washaway FC
580 Banners FC Skiveness
Washaway FC or FC Harbourwights will face re-election if either finish bottom in SB-585


Image

Skellingkop-1 

SSC Ringdale 2–0 Scold Thunder FC
Crows Club 1–3 Dogside Works FF
Gymnasia Scold 1–1 1.FC Tocklehove (2–1 AET)
Start-93 1–3 Moss FC
Solomon FC 1–4 Florence Boldclub
Tolga Maroons 1–1 Scotvik FF (2–1 AET)
FC Harbourwights 1–9 Industria SS
SS Hammerdale 0–0 Gullmarket Isambards (1–0 AET)
Hemness Nuclear 0–6 SS Skiveness
Guillemots 1–0 Academical
Skullion FF 0–0 Basques (0–1 AET)
East Spit Casuals FC 6–4 Armada Club
Tundra Axle FC 0–0 Hearts AFC (0–2 AET)
Bonesea Mountain Rescue AC 0–8 Marine
Crabbers Club 0–6 Fishers Grimsea
Washaway FC 1–1 Admiral Cossentine (3–1 AET)
Longby SS 0–1 Golden Lion
Penchant & District 6–0 Otters Club
17.FF Tolling 4–0 Skelling Club
Tunns Club 0–1 Stingrays
Gargantua 0–2 Spite Rovers
Skullharrow Jets 0–7 Blue Boys FF
Spittal County 1–0 Gannet FC
Dockyard Peloton 0–1 Tamarindian Club
Shale Athletics Union 3–1 Club Zenega
SS Spittalsea 2–0 SS Skaya
Celts Club 0–4 Celtic Skein
Grasshopper Club 4–1 Heralds Club
Viking Tananger 0–0 Rangers Tocklehove FF (1–0 AET)
Oyna & Gritting Combine 0–2 Irsha-57 SK
Kickers FF Sand 3–0 Tundra FC
Viking Hallingby SK 3–7 Turbine Moss FF
Athletic Spit 9–0 Bonehouse Violet
Mission Sparta 2–1 Spit City
Mosquitos 0–3 Omnibus Athletic
Nordfold Browns 0–3 Rapid FF Kells
Coffin Island Rangers 0–3 Torpedo Spitney
Florentine Rose 3–1 Turbine FF Gallowsea
Olympic Gallowsea 1–2 Oysterhaven Reds
Viking Spit SK 1–0 AirBone SSC
Saltby Town 1–1 Tugboat Marines FC (1–2 AET)
Dial Tavern Brawlers 1–0 Gargoyles Club
Neskullen Argyle 2–1 UZZZR Exiles Club
Refugee Club 1–3 Bonesea Air Force Club
Sandness FC 0–1 Rise Thistle
Gullravens FC 9–0 FC Berserkr
Aero Fennby 1–1 Captain Amble FC (2–2 AET) (3–5 pen.)
United Altafriqana 1–2 Strand Rose
St. Leah Gaels 4–3 Moss Whalers
Murrow FC 1–0 Orchids
Bleary Athletic 0–1 Angaby FF
Stockett Brigade 1–1 1.FC Bøe (1–1 AET) (7–6 pen.)
Combine FF Pikefells 0–3 Spartans FF Liarby
Gallowsea Ramblers 2–0 Discordian Wanderers
Batallion 5–5 Whelm Town Welfare (5–6 AET)
FTK Whelm 4–2 Vetting Islanders
Lundsea Pier FC 4–4 Bannerclub Clun (4–4 AET) (2–3 pen.)
Combined Varsity Athletics Union 3–4 Herring Club
Clunwardine Leopard 2–3 Combine Tamness-Nordby
Moss Thistle FC 1–4 Red Orca
Terrier Club 1–0 SCB-Alliance
Tolling Orient 0–1 Banners FC Skiveness
Union Skive 1–1 Spit Whistle Club (4–1 AET)
Blackskull Club 6–0 Slatterness Amateur

Skellingkop-2

Angaby FF 1–6 Irsha-57 SK
Torpedo Spitney 1–0 Bonesea Air Force Club
Dogside Works FF 3–0 Dial Tavern Brawlers
Golden Lion 3–6 Banners FC Skiveness
St. Leah Gaels 7–0 Neskullen Argyle
Spartans FF Liarby 0–3 Combine Tamness-Nordby
Bannerclub Clun 5–1 Oysterhaven Reds
Florentine Rose 3–1 Washaway FC
Celtic Skein 1–3 Athletic Spit
East Spit Casuals FC 3–0 Rapid FF Kells
Spite Rovers 0–3 Turbine Moss FF
Union Skive 3–0 Industria SS
SS Hammerdale 0–5 SS Skiveness
Marine 3–2 Gallowsea Ramblers
17.FF Tolling 5–5 Herring Club (6–5 AET)
Tugboat Marines FC 0–0 Blackskull Club (1–0 AET)
Florence Boldclub 1–1 Blue Boys FF (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Omnibus Athletic 0–5 Gullravens FC
Murrow FC 1–0 Terrier Club
Tamarindian Club 0–1 Whelm Town Welfare
Captain Amble FC 1–1 Basques (2–1 AET)
Stockett Brigade 9–0 SS Spittalsea
Shale Athletics Union 0–8 Moss FC
Tolga Maroons 2–2 SSC Ringdale (2–2 AET) (1–3 pen.)
Hearts AFC 0–9 Gymnasia Scold
Viking Tananger 1–0 Guillemots
Red Orca 1–0 Strand Rose
Kickers FF Sand 3–3 Stingrays (5–3 AET)
Mission Sparta 0–0 FTK Whelm (0–0 AET) (3–2 pen.)
Penchant & District 3–0 Viking Spit SK
Fishers Grimsea 5–1 Spittal County
Grasshopper Club 6–1 Rise Thistle

Skellingkop-3

Irsha-57 SK 3–6 Penchant & District
Blue Boys FF 3–1 Florentine Rose
Gymnasia Scold 1–1 St. Leah Gaels (3–1 AET)
17.FF Tolling 5–1 SSC Ringdale
Marine 3–0 East Spit Casuals FC
Grasshopper Club 9–0 Tugboat Marines FC
Viking Tananger 3–0 Torpedo Spitney
Turbine Moss FF 1–1 Dogside Works FF (1–1 AET) (5–4 pen.)
Fishers Grimsea 3–3 Stockett Brigade (3–3 AET) (2–3 pen.)
SS Skiveness 3–0 Murrow FC
Moss FC 7–3 Bannerclub Clun
Union Skive 0–0 Red Orca (0–1 AET)
Gullravens FC 0–4 Athletic Spit
Combine Tamness-Nordby 0–3 Whelm Town Welfare
Captain Amble FC 1–1 Banners FC Skiveness (2–2 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Mission Sparta 1–4 Kickers FF Sand

Skellingkop-4

Kickers FF Sand 1–1 Penchant & District (1–2 AET)
Turbine Moss FF 0–5 Grasshopper Club
Stockett Brigade 1–0 Red Orca
Whelm Town Welfare 0–4 Marine
Gymnasia Scold 3–0 Blue Boys FF
17.FF Tolling 1–0 Viking Tananger
Moss FC 0–3 Athletic Spit
Captain Amble FC 0–4 SS Skiveness

Skellingkop-5

Marine 3–0 Stockett Brigade
Penchant & District 0–4 Gymnasia Scold
17.FF Tolling 3–1 Grasshopper Club
SS Skiveness 1–0 Athletic Spit

Skellingkop-6

Marine 0–0 SS Skiveness (0–1 AET)
17.FF Tolling 0–2 Gymnasia Scold

Skellingkopfinal

SS Skiveness 0-3 Gymnasia Scold


Image
Juvenligg-1 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Ocean Cadets 22 10 8 4 58 33 +25 38
2 Young Offenders FC 22 10 6 6 31 25 +6 36
3 Viking Youth 22 11 3 8 37 36 +1 36
4 Chavo 22 9 7 6 46 42 +4 34
5 Grasshopper u19 22 8 9 5 40 34 +6 33
6 Bold Youth 22 6 11 5 41 40 +1 29
7 Juvenil 22 7 6 9 43 35 +8 27
8 Young Folk FC 22 7 6 9 45 50 −5 27
9 Orphanage FC 22 7 6 9 43 52 −9 27
10 Latiñeros 22 7 6 9 33 43 −10 27
11 Rigger Monkeys 22 6 4 12 34 45 −11 22
12 Young Refugees FC 22 6 4 12 41 57 −16 22

Image
Juvenligg-2 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Orient YC 22 11 5 6 55 38 +17 38
2 Red Boys 22 11 3 8 48 43 +5 36
3 Gulls u19 22 9 8 5 50 35 +15 35
4 Turbine u19 22 11 1 10 60 50 +10 34
5 Amblesea Juniors 22 10 4 8 61 57 +4 34
6 Gymnasia u19 22 10 3 9 38 45 −7 33
7 Torpedo Juniors 22 9 4 9 42 42 0 31
8 Junior Blues 22 8 7 7 41 56 −15 31
9 Start u19 22 7 6 9 47 52 −5 27
10 Celtic u19 22 8 3 11 37 45 −8 27
11 Young Fishers 22 7 5 10 41 49 −8 26
12 Sparta 22 4 5 13 45 53 −8 17
Last edited by Bonesea on Sun Jun 18, 2017 2:56 am, edited 2 times in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-584 Review

Postby Bonesea » Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:50 am

Image

Image
Herrings Prevail

Bonesligg-584: The Season In Review
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Dub Meadows
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

It was a glorious tenth triumph for SS Skiveness as new first-time manager and ex-player Kenny Rising took up the reins for the Herrings as replacement for departed Audioslav pair Escobar de Cabanyas and Devin de Valle, and didn't he do well? Coming close to a second double in their history, SS took the title on a final day of drama with a win at main contenders Athletic Spit, and reached the Skellingkopfinal. Another ex-player turned first-time manager Billy Sermons took over at drama-engulfed Florence Boldclub, with the unpopular de Cabanyas fired after failing to win any of his first seven games and seeing the Green Faeries bottom of the table. Billy impressed to guide the Boldclub to a respectable fourth and a place in the Colour Cups in Taxhavn next season. Viking improved for a mid-table finish, Torpedo Spitney came within a game of winning their first title, and Grasshopper Club showed a steep decline to finish bottom of Ligg-1.

Image
Bonesligg Champions

SS Skiveness
Kenny's Rising!


The student has become the master. Much-loved ex-Herrings striker Kenny Rising, brought onto the coaching team at Driftwood Park by Audioslav pair Ez & Dav, took the helm after their controversial departure and in a tight three-horse race at the top of the table this season, calmly guided his new charges to the title on the final day in thrilling circumstances. With SS neck-and-neck with Athletic Spit and surprise package Torpedo Spitney all season, it was going to take nerves of steel to see out the season in top spot. The smart money was on wily old bird Ruan Buzzard, who has made the Ancients a consistent challenger over the past decade and had the experience to see the job done. Mulfra Gerbino at Torpedo, another old-school operator who has slowly but surely built a fourth power in the capital city out of the traditional bridesmaid club from the Recreation Grounds, was also in the mood for glory. Although this is the first time he's been in a title scrap, he knows a thing or two scrapping. For Kenny Rising, although he won plenty of nuggets as a player, this being his first season meant he was surely the rank outsider of the three. With all of them going into the final fixture with a decent chance of taking the prize, the Herrings were least fancied - particularly as they were away to Buzzard's Athletic. Between the two it would be winner take all - but the very likely possibility of a deadlock would leave the door open for Torpedo, who needed to win at Moss FC to take their first national title: it wasn't to be for the Goats, as they succumbed to stage-fright and a disappointing 0-1 defeat. With Gerbino's side giving up their challenge, the Ancients only needed to avoid defeat at the St.Leah Ground to regain a title handed to the Boldclub last season. But Kenny Rising and his resurgent Veldie striker Piet Masschelin had other ideas, as the Herrings overran Athletic for a glorious - and history-making - 3-1 away victory to secure Skiveness' tenth Ligg title.

Piet Masschelin was back to his very best under the rookie manager to win the Fellows Award player of the season, the Golden Boot, and the Johnny Foreigner Award for best immigrant player in the Bonesligg. An impressive haul with the ultimate reward of another title medal and a Skellingkop runners-up gong to boot. Impressing up front with him was perennial strike star Ursell Grayse-Lennox, while youth Septen Islander Fiakr Le Lay finally hit his rhythm for a fantastic season, and youngster Innes Malpas, 20, showed that the production line keeps rolling - a point proven for the Syndicate board at SS who were not happy with former management incumbents Ez & Dav's insistence on continued recruiting from abroad. Two national team contenders playing alongside the central three in Idaios Clapp and young Cleon-Jay Scopps certainly staked their claims for starting spots in Rising's forward seven and will both hope their performances bring a place in the Sailors' World Cup squad - no-one would bet against it. Another emergent star was Wightling centreback Larrick Jones-Gummo who displaced Talan Thornton in the starting slot late in the season and looks a solid bet for seasons to come, although he is ineligible for the national team - hailing from The Old Country (that's Wight to you and me, but we don't say it out loud). Foreign types Lobjstein and Jose Enrique once again impressed - the former can do no wrong in the eyes of the locals - but Cocó, the first female to play in the modern Bonesligg three years ago and signed from Florence Boldclub at the start of the season, has again not matched her potential. As the first female in the Herrings first team, she has been a disappointment and the Herring Army supporters continue to look forward to the promotion of youth prospect Tuelmenna Smith to carry the flag of female representation.


Athletic Spit were back to their almost-best to run The Herrings so close for the Ligg title, with Donkey Ray Harton proving the rock at the back of a solid defensive season. Young striker Cade Jones joined his older brothers Reskadinnick, Nobb, Wron and Lash in the senior squad with national team coach and father Pythagoras proudly watching on as the family production line continued to produce new stars - Cade quickly established himself in the starting line-up ahead of Hércules Menezes who had a poor season by his standards. With Mull and Claw Jones both dropping to the feeder team St.Leah Gaels and enjoying a Ligg-5 title season, there are still a few lads to come - strikers Clem and Shye are nearing graduation from the youth team while 'tenth and last' of the boys (according to his mother), Menhennick, is in his early youth career but has promise, apparently, in a defensive role. Eleventh and unexpected addition Cromwell is on the nursery books and will make up the full Jones FC team, although elder brothers Reskadinnick, Wron and Nobb may not still be playing to see the day.

Coming in a very - very - close third was Mulfra Gerbino's Torpedo Spitney, pushing the top two all the way and proving themselves to be a solid and exciting side growing every season. Another title tilt may be on the cards next season if they can keep hold of an impressive batch of foreign imports, including the league's best female in Nepharim Ivy Herrick. By far their best asset was the newly-emerged Cnán Duck, a late developer who has missed most of the hype of the national junior teams but burst on to the scene this season and ran Piet Masschelin close for the Golden Boot. He'll be knocking on the door of coach Pythagoras' national team office any time soon. With The Goats running out second best capital team behind the Ancients, it was the Boldclub and Marine who were left lagging. While Marine are certainly a faded star in the present time, the Boldclub, as reigning champions, had a disastrous start to the season under Escobar de Cabanyas and though firing him after seven games, were always playing catch-up and finished fourth under Billy Sermons without ever getting close to the leading three. Nevertheless it was an impressive recovery under the former Purple Generation Boffer and the Boldclub would surely like the calm multilingual professor at the tiller to settle the ship at a crisis-torn club; but that seems unlikely with Billy suggesting he does not want the role permanently and is happy to step down into the coaching team again. The search for a new coach goes on, rumours point to lower league coach Piper Doughty at Combine Tamness-Nordby, who has been keeping the tiny Ligg-3 team performing well above their rightful place for several seasons. Whether she can run a comparative giant like The Green Faeries remains to be seen. It's a risk - and the last one certainly did not pay off when the club signed an Audioslav rabble-rouser.

At the wrong end of the table, Otter Harrigan's Grasshopper Club dropped onto the bottom rung after impressing with limited resources over several seasons, while Buzza McCarthy finally got the Vikings firing again as they hit a mid-table patch and will hope to build on that. Chilli-Bean Acosta looks a different player - the old, great one - now that he has shed his coaching duties and left the job to Buzza; key to their improved fortunes was the signing of Semarli ex-Herring Adel Nzonzi, while young Wilkie Banda-Scrote, son of Purple Generation legend and champion sailor KP Scrote, was a contender for young player of the season. Meanwhile Marine continue to frustrate, and it is shocking to see such a mighty name in Bonesligg history slide into mediocrity with such little prospect of improvement. Indeed, some pundits are predicting a period of struggle and with structural changes on the way, it could be we soon see this Grand Old Lady of The Churn in the second tier for the first time in their history.


Awards & Records
Season-584

Champions:	SS Skiveness (10th title)
Runners-Up: Athletic Spit
Third Place: Torpedo Spitney

Kop Winners: Gymnasia Scold (5th title; 6 finals)
Runners-Up: SS Skiveness (14th final)

Taxhavn Colour Cups Qualifications

Oranjibol: SS Skiveness
Blue Marble: Athletic Spit
Torpedo Spitney
Florence Boldclub
C de Moutarde: Turbine FF Gallowsea
Gullravens FC
Blue Boys FF
Duck Cup: Gymnasia Scold

ExtraKop-585: SS Skiveness vs. Gymnasia Scold
(Super Cup season opener)

Lower Ligg Champions

Bonesligg-2: Turbine FF Gallowsea
Bonesligg-3: Skelling Club (promoted)
Bonesligg-4: Stockett Brigade (promoted)
Bonesligg-5: St. Leah Gaels (promoted)
Spittaligg-A: Bonesea Air Force Club

National Youth League
Juvenligg-1: Ocean Cadets
Juvenligg-2: Orient YC

Player Awards

Fellows Award: Piet Masschelin (VLG)(SS Skiveness)
(Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Donkey Ray Harton (Athletic Spit)
Third Place: Cnán Duck (Torpedo Spitney)

Bonesligg-2: Oyolvur Dsnjalsson (W/VAE)(Turbine FF Gallowsea)
Bonesligg-3: Montez de la Cruz (W/TAM)(Skelling Club)
Bonesligg-4: Democritus Huang (Stockett Brigade)
Bonesligg-5: Mull Jones (St.Leah Gaels)

Golden Boot: Piet Masschelin (VLG)(SS Skiveness) 23 goals
Runner-Up: Cnán Duck (Torpedo Spitney) 22

Bonesligg-2: Glloum (FAS)(Blue Boys FF) 25
Bonesligg-3: Antrim Ouellette (1.FC Bøe) 25
Bonesligg-4: Attus Trequite (Hearts AFC) 31
Bonesligg-5: Dimma Flushing (Aero Fennby) 27

Golden Glove: Donkey Ray Harton (Athletic Spit)
Runner-Up: Bernard Doisneau (W/SEP)(Moss FC)

Bonesligg-2: Premalan Indra (PIN)(Armada Club)
Bonesligg-3: Etienne Morris (Spartans FF Liarby)
Bonesligg-4: Judah Ede-Penney (Rapid FF Kells)
Bonesligg-5: Marazanvose Couttel (St.Leah Gaels)

Young Fella: Cnán Duck (Torpedo Spitney) 20 years
(Young Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Wilkie Banda-Scrote (Viking Tananger) 19
Third Place: Innes Malpas (SS Skiveness) 20

Bonesligg-2: Gluvian Moon (Turbine FF Gallowsea) 18
Bonesligg-3: Charity den St.Gennys (Skelling C) 18 First female award winner
Bonesligg-4: Igoe Trevilder (Stockett Brigade) 16
Bonesligg-5: Vigean Marriner (St.Leah Gaels) 19
Juvenligg: Kierra Hale (Ocean Cadets) 18

Argångaward: Kenny Rising (SS Skiveness)
(Coach of The Season)
Runner-Up: Mulfra Gerbino (Torpedo Spitney)

Bonesligg-2: Ermine Blackback Crane (Turbine FF Gallowsea)
Bonesligg-3: Piper Doughty (Combine Tamness-Nordby)
Bonesligg-4: Kilhallion Minard (Stockett Brigade)
Bonesligg-5: Zipper Smith (St.Leah Gaels)


Fellows Award: The Player of The Season
Piet Masschelin (VLG)

The former Veldie* Piet Masschelin becomes only the third foreign type to win the Fellows award after Boldclub pair Des Jeruselem and Asteróide, concluding a hat-trick of personal awards with the Golden Boot and Johnny Foreigner gongs, a ligg title and a kop runners-up medal. Not a bad haul for an itinerant (some would say homeless) old time drifter. But that arguably sums up the entire nature of the Bonesfolk, so no shame there - he is one of us now…*

Spotted by about 21,000 churning fans as the in-and-out centre-forward from the Veldgouwen national team competing in the Independents Cup six years ago, he immediately impressed all the arm-chair analysts with his physicality and preference to play it 'The Boney Way' - that is to say rougher and tougher than the average. With Bonesea performing so badly in the tournament, including a 0-2 reverse in the group match against Veldgouwen in which Masschelin scored, the Bonesfolk took the Veldies as their own for the rest of the tournament, and whether aided by that support or hampered by it, Veldgouwen went all the way to the final, only to fall at the last hurdle to the team Bonesea had beaten in the Cup of Harmony final the year before - Schottia. Out of the 21,000 or so who took a liking to the warrior Masschelin, it was the canny Audioslavs running the show at Skiveness who acted quickest, managing to pry Piet Maschelin from his hometown Piershaven Club. He was an immediate success in Skiveness, as the Herring bowled to the title under the new import system in which he settled with aplomb. Linking up brilliantly with upcoming young forward Ursell Grayse-Lennox, Piet has been a hit ever since and has now risen to the height of best player in the country, not unexpectedly.

They loved him back home too*, despite his leaving them for colder climes. Here's their take on him, from our Veldie sports contact Mart-jan Schroten:

"A pure targetman with a rocket in his right foot, Piet Masschelin brings home the bacon for Piershaven Club. Across the last four seasons, he accumulated a very respectable 89 goals in 154 games, a figure that has gotten him two Golden Boots and the utmost respect from the home crowd. Masschelin is not an uncontested figure, admitting himself that he turns on a switch when going on the pitch: horrible tackles, clashes with fans, fights with opponents and swearing to refs, he has been there. In daily life, he is a fine guy without that short temper who is as hard on his teammates as he is on himself – doing an extra series after training is regular for him. His ambitiousness is not always loved, but it did result in the man who’s at his age already cited to be one of the best strikers ever produced in the nation. Should be capable to fight with the strong defences he’s handling at this stage."

...you can't say fairer than that.

Fellows Award Previous Winners
SB-574Toribio Gallo (TAM), Viking Tananger
SB-575Conchobar Wickett, Spittalmarine
SB-576Des Jeruselem, Florence Boldclub
SB-577Nobb Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-578Reskadinnick Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-579Reskadinnick Jones (2), Athletic Spit
SB-580Tuw Turk, Florence Boldclub
SB-581Ursell Grayse-Lennox, SS Skiveness
SB-582Nobb Jones (2), Athletic Spit
SB-583Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub

* very much in the past tense following a catastrophic termination event in the nation…

Image

Image
Skellingkopfinal

SS Skiveness 0-3 Gymnasia Scold H/T: 0-1
@ St.Leah's Ground, Spittalsea. Attendance 21,400

Goals: Nemesio Adams (2' 72') Ogma Codd (85')

Player of the match: Nemesio Adams (Gymnasia)
Booked: Karl Boness, Macario Benítez, Skua Ortiz, Al-Hasan, Empy Horsedown, Mogue de Luz, Cerebral Siskin & el Ogro (Gymnasia)
Rémi Fofana, Idaios Clapp (2), Ursell Grayse-Lennox (SS Skiveness)
Sent off: Idaios Clapp, Fiakr Le Lay (SS Skiveness)


Player Ratings
SS Skiveness				Gymnasia Scold

Margeir Simonsen [4.2] Karl Boness [9.9] Match Statistics
Larrick Jones-Gummo [4.4] Macario Benítez [7.2]
Rémi Fofana [6.9] Skua Ortiz [8.7] Poss (%): 66/34
Lobjstein [6.5] Ali Toufiq [9.8] Shots: 11-12
Cleon Jay Scopps [6.5] Nemesio Adams [10-](2) On Target: 3-7
Yasir Ala al-Din [4.2] Patrick Burscogh [9.9] Pass Comp(%): 70-85
Idaios Clapp [4.2] Shihab Ibn Al-Hasan [7.4] Corners: 4-2
Piet Masschelin [5.8] Empy Horsedown [8.9] Fouls: 5-9
Fiakr Le Lay [4.9] Joseph Angenent [7.6] Yellow cards: 3-8
Ursell Grayse-Lennox [4.5] Mogue de Luz [9.0] Reds: 2-0
Jose Enrique [6.6] Ogma Codd [9.1](1)

Subs Used Subs Used
Bandry Mundy [6.1] Cerebral Siskin [9.2]
Innes Malpas [5.5] Huddy Hugus [7.6]
Adrián Larin [5.5] Baldomiro el Ogro [7.8]


Champs See Red, Get Scolded
SS Skiveness 0-3 Gymnasia Scold

With an unmatched ten titles to their name, SS Skiveness may be widely considered the Kop specialists but in recent history it is Gymnasia who have demonstrated their tenacity in the national knockout competition to become the dominant force, stepping up against The Herrings - and the odds - to win a fourth Kop in six seasons. Wily old coach Wellard Corfe masterminded a splendid counter-attacking victory in this, the forty-fifth Skellingkopfinal, as The Gym soaked up all the pressure and remained patient out of possession, and then with lightning strikes, broke out to torment the usually reliable defensive diamond of Simonsen, Jones-Gummo, Fofana and Lobjstein - fresh off a remarkable last-gasp Ligg title win - and deny the Herrings an historical third double of Ligg & Kop. This Gymnasia team is full of talent you know, but an undeniably disappointing league season in which they started with high hopes of a potential title challenge and ended second-bottom has undermined their credentials somewhat and there is talk of losing stars like Macario Benítez, Huddy Hugus and Ogma Codd to the capital teams or their Isle of Skive rivals SS. A kop win masterminded by Wellard Corfe and delivered by young Eastfielder Nemesio Adams will go some way to easing those concerns.

The young winger capped off a fine debut season in the Bonesligg - in which he got into the top ten for the Johnny Foreigner awards - by hitting two goals and winning the player of the match award for his maturity and influence on a tactical win for the Gym, starting early with a stunner from a free-kick after only two minutes which gave his side a solid foundation on which to build a famous win. In what turned out to be a tempestuous affair - 11 yellow cards and two reds - that key first strike earned Scold some breathing space early on and probably slowed down Kenny Rising's trademark early onslaught which has overwhelmed so many teams this season. An attritional seventy minutes followed, in which SS attempted to control the game but were frustrated at every turn by the men in yellow and blue, with the occasional warning of danger when the Gym broke out of their confines and threatened to double their lead. This finally happened in the 72nd minute, shortly after Idaios Clapp had received a second yellow card and his marching orders for a frustrated kick out at Mogue de Luz; de Luz himself send a needle pass through to Ogma Codd, and he fooled everyone with a square ball when it looked for all the world like he was shaping for a strike - out of nowhere Nemesio Adams charged onto the smart ball and slotted past the flailing Margeir Simonsen. With twenty minutes remain, The Herrings looked like they would have a mountain to climb, and indeed they found it impossible. Chasing the game late on, they were overcommitted when Ali Toufiq hoofed a clearance up into the air and down toward the Skiveness box - in a flat three-way race between Ogma Codd, Wightling defender Larrick Jones-Gummo and keeper Simonsen, it was Ogma who proved to have the pace and strength to win the ball, stay on his feet, pass Simonsen and poke home for the final death knell in Kenny Rising's double dream.

Image
The Johnny Foreigner Report

The Low Down on our Bonesligg Migrants - Season 584
by Boldsport staff writer Johnny Foreigner

The way we play it at home is a little… rougher… and muddier… and… greasier... than the widely appreciated international variant of Association Football; in Greasy Churning, one must be prepared for a spot of wrestling. It won’t be everyone’s cup of Boney Tea, that’s for sure. So who made the switch from foreign climes with bruising grace? And who got floored on their first outing? Welcome to the Johnny Foreigner Report, your annual round-up of the Football Migrants gracing our game.



Hércules Menezes at Athletic and Tryggve Axelsson at Start-93 were a couple of the stand-out players and led the cohort of Sunrisians who have found a home in Bonesea, including Jose Enrique and Cocó at SS Skiveness; Arquimides, Jeronimo, Jørgen Berthelsen, Mika Paprika, Leonardo Ducaldo, Scott Balde and Mateo Rossini at Grasshopper Club - who might be called Sunrisians United; João Batata at Athletic with Hércules; Arichi Kunorikato at Florence Boldclub and Zé Caramba at Marine. Oh, and Mochi Yoshinami dropping down the leagues at Aero Fennby. A similarly large group of Daineri types can be found around the country with Axsiuu, Oto, and Asteróide at the Boldclub; Ravinger and Tanque at Torpedo Spitney; Baldomiro el Ogro at Gymnasia; Shelyak at Athletic; Glloum at Blue Boys; Schrek at 1.FC Tocklehove and Narahboson at Fishers Grimsea. Of that impressive group, youngsters Axsiuu and Oto from the Boldclub have been outstanding, with their mentor and national favourite Asteróide also looking fine and mentoring his young compatriots. Huelavian Lobjstein was back to his best at SS Skiveness while Ivy Herrick at Torpedo was the best woman in the churn, hitting a famous top ten placing along with the equally impressive Sham'a Ranger at Start-93. Renato Moleiro, deemed surplus to requirements at the Boldclub, returned to the team that played him on a two year loan deal with Torpedo Spitney, where he thrived again to finish just shy of the top ten. Pasargan Etel Csonka also impressed at Moss FC as the third highest rated woman in the awards.

Johnny Foreigner Award SB-584
Piet Masschelin

Centre Forward, SS Skiveness

What next for Piet Masschelin? After winning his third Bonesligg title medal, a Kop runners-up medal, the Fellows Award for player of the season, the golden boot, and now his second Johnny Foreigner award, the former Veldie, now 32, has nothing left to prove in the greasy churning (perhaps a Kop winners medal to complete the collection). But he does have a lot of thinking to do, now his homeland has gone following a Catastrophic Termination Event. Nobody is quite sure what happened to the emerging nation that announced its place in the multiverse and impressed at the football in the first Independents Cup held in the Boreal Islands, but suffice it to say something went horribly wrong. Veldgouwen is no more. So where does Piet go from here? As the first Veldie resident in the nation, he had a personal message from the Cartographer General, the outgoing head of state Valentine Joyce, that he becomes a cherished Bonesman should he want to take the Oath of Fealty. His partner Noémie Vermeersch and young sons Régis & Mitch were thankfully resident on the island at the time of the event and have had the offer extended to them for naturalisation.

Meanwhile Piet has commissioned the Bonesea barque HMS Kneye, commanded by Captain Orianna Godwit, to search the Wide Enness Ocean for survivors of The Wreck of Veldgouwen, since Captain Godwit is famous for rescuing the lost and the half-drowned: almost as famous as Admiral Suckling. On football-related matters, the Veldie castaway is to become sponsor and coach of the youth team Young Refugees FC, based in Fennby. But the combative striker still has plenty to offer on the churning field and will remain first choice attacker in the SS Skiveness forward seven, where he will hope yet to win more nuggets for his impressive game.

Johnny Foreigner Award Previous Winners
SB-579Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub
SB-580Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness
SB-581Leonardo Ducaldo (USI), Grasshopper Club
SB-582Adel Nzonzi (SEM), SS Skiveness
SB-583Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub (2nd award)

Performance Summary*

Name			Nat.	Pos.	Club			Rating

Piet Masschelin VLG CF SS Skiveness 9.55
Hércules Menezes USI CF Athletic Spit 9.52
Tryggve Axelsson USI CB Start-93 9.45
Lobjstein HUE HB SS Skiveness 9.41
Axsiuu DAI IL Florence Boldclub 9.22
Ivy Herrick NPH CB Torpedo Spitney 9.15
Oto DAI HB Florence Boldclub 9.11
Sham'a Ranger EFL CF Start-93 8.96
Baldomiro el Ogro LAS IL/R Gymnasia Scold 8.75
Nemesio Adams EFL OL Gymnasia Scold 8.69

Renato Moleiro RED CB Torpedo Spitney [1] 8.61
Asteróide DAI CF Florence Boldclub 8.60
Ravinger DAI HB Torpedo Spitney 8.38
Jose Enrique USI IR SS Skiveness 8.17
Etel Csonka PAS OL Moss FC 8.13
Arquimides USI CB Grasshopper Club 7.39
Mateo Rossini USI/OSS IR/L Grasshopper Club 7.30
João Batata USI OL Athletic Spit 7.29
Adel Nzonzi SEM OR Viking Tananger [2] 7.12
Vojislav Pitalesharo ABI CF Start-93 7.12
Jørgen Berthelsen USI IR Grasshopper Club 7.09
Jeronimo USI OL Grasshopper Club 7.09
Shelyak DAI CB Athletic Spit 7.07
Sarah XSV IRN OR Torpedo Spitney 6.99
Tanque DAI HB Torpedo Spitney 6.91
Mika Paprika USI HB Grasshopper Club 6.76
Arichi Kunorikato USI IR Florence Boldclub 6.74
Fingal Altimimy COS HB Marine 6.63
Cocó USI IR SS Skiveness 6.63
Erik Marlowe NPH CF Florence Boldclub 6.61
Zé Caramba USI GK Marine 6.59
Jannick den Linds SEM HB Marine 6.48
Leonardo Ducaldo USI CF Grasshopper Club 6.12
Karl Boness SEM GK Gymnasia Scold 5.96
Filipp Nashoba ABI CF Moss FC 5.86
Scott Balde USI GK Grasshopper Club 5.85
Anders Boness SEM GK Grasshopper Club 5.85

Lower League Players

Glloum FAF CF Blue Boys FF 9.08
Mochi Yoshinami USI CF Aero Fennby 8.61
Anton Etxebarria AUD IR 1.FC Tocklehove 8.52
Schreck DAI IL 1.FC Tocklehove 8.08
Brendo Pozo AUD HB 1.FC Tocklehove 8.01
Kvetoslav Irniq ABI CF Irsha-57 SK 7.06
Narahboson AES CB Fishers Grimsea 6.42
Newton Milesvile MRT CB 1.FC Tocklehove 6.40

[1] transferred from Florence Boldclub
[2] transferred from SS Skiveness

* excludes players from Wide Enness Ocean region
Last edited by Bonesea on Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-585 Preview

Postby Bonesea » Mon Jul 24, 2017 3:02 pm

Image

Image
Around Again

Bonesligg-585: Your Guide To The Season
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Dub Meadows
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

Greetings Boldsport fans! With the World Cup jamboree unexpectedly upon us right here up in the north, the whole Boldsport team are hard pressed working on the various special edition print editions and exclusive content for Coseybone's production of We❤️ WC'78, and there hardly seems room to look back at last season's Bonesligg. But, reminds the Editor in Chief, that is our bread and butter and we can't afford to miss it.

Let's do this...


Three Up
Restructure guarantees promotions for lucky trio

With the expansion to twelve teams per division from next season, the implications this time around are largely a host more promotion opportunities, with three places up for grabs in the top flight - and one guaranteed relegation. As the promotions will not be cumulative, the Fellowship has agreed that the relegation won't either: the team that finishes bottom this season will be playing in the second tier next season. From then on, cumulative promotion rules will be gone, with one automatic promotion/relegation slot. The Fellowship has discussed as second slot via a play-off system but voted against it this time around, with a review before season SB-591.

All divisions will expand to 12 teams with ten additional teams coming into Ligg-5; this means Ligg-2 will recieve five promotions from Ligg-3 with one relegation; there will be no relegations in the lower divisions this season, so Ligg-3 will receive six promotions from Ligg-4; Ligg-4 will receive 8 promotions from Ligg-5 while only the bottom two in Ligg-5 will remain in the lowest division, where they will be joined by 10 new teams, mostly from the Spittaligg but with some places for teams around the country. From next season, a 2-up/2-down promotion/relegation system will operate from Ligg-2 downward. The bottom team in Ligg-5 will face re-election after three bottom place finishes in 5 seasons, per the current system.


A Game of Attrition
Major retirements - Greasy Churning takes a toll

Churning can be a tough sport - the added wrestle means players have to be stronger, harder and more resilient than the more athletic 'international rules' players, and every season there are retirements across the ages; it's always a shame to see young talent come to an end but this season in particular brings two big shocks with a couple of the rising stars of the game calling a premature end to their careers. Swithian Kirk, goalkeeper at Gymnasia Scold, captain of the Bonesea national youth teams at several levels, semi-finalist in the second under-18 World Cup and the most likely national number one of the future was first to announce that he was not recovering from persistent injuries to his fibrous thraxals and would be giving up the sport in favour of a career in vermicology. Pythagoras Jones announced soon after that he had been involved in the unfortunate discussions that came to this conclusion, since he had Swithian pencilled in as the reserve goalkeeper for World Cup '78.

Hot on the heels (excuse the pun) of Swithian Kirk was the surprise retirement of Ragnhild Row, the young female inside forward at Viking Tanager, another rising star who was favourite to become the first Boneswoman to appear for the national team. She has stated that doctors have advised her retirement following persistent exenterate inflammations. Called into the Viking first team at the tender age of 17, two seasons ago, one wonders now if this was too soon and whether things would have been different if she'd completed a full junior cycle to age 19. Ragnhild is not giving up on churning though, as she begins her coaching badges supported by her former team who have offered her an apprenticeship in coaching. She has also expressed an interest in setting up an under-18s academy for Boneswomen to encourage more women into the game, and it is understood she has considerable support for this scheme from the Fellowship, who are frustrated at the slow progress and lack of ambition from Bonesligg clubs in regard to female players.


Managerial Musical Chairs
Round and round they go... Audioslavs re-united

Controversial Audioslav management duo Escobar de Cabanyas and Davin de Valle are reunited again, accepting an unexpected role at Oysterhaven Reds where Lamine Togo had done such great work to get them into a mid-table team in the second tier, their highest position in their history. Incredibly he left for a lower division team, accepting the head coach role at Spartan FF Liarby leaving an opening at the Reds. 'Ez & Dav' have struggled since their heady days at SS Skiveness where they won three titles. After being sacked in a feud with the syndicate heads, they fell out between themselves and went separate ways last season. Davin de Valle took the vacant slot at 1.FC Tocklehove but did not impress, while Escobar de Cabanyas has a disastrous seven-game stint at reigning champions Florence Boldclub, lost all seven games and was fired. He's been unemployed ever since but the two have reunited just up the road from their old hunting grounds in Skiveness. All eyes are on them now to see if they can raise the Reds still further and into the uncharted waters of the top flight.

Why did Lamine Togo drop to Spartans when he's been touted as a possible Ligg-1 coach? The answer looks like bad news for Fistral McCrary at Marine, who are Spartans senior affiliate club - is Lamine being lined up to succeed the veteran at the Mariners who has overseen a steady decline in the fortunes of the once mighty club? It would seem so. Meanwhile, Billy Sermons did a magnificent job in steering the Boldclub to a respectable position after their disastrous start under Escobar de Cabanyas, but did not want the job full-time and has been replaced by Piper Doughty, a surprise selection from Combine Tamness-Nordby and the first female top-flight coach for three decades. Oddr Hólmgeir, the former Start winger, replaces her. Finally, the vacancy left by Davin de Valle at 1.FC Tocklehove, where he will not be especially missed, will be filled by their much-loved 48-year old Daineri inside forward Schreck, still going strong as a player and now ready to step up to management. He has already said he has no plans to stop playing.


Oh No!
Mano Onio set to make Boldclub debut after storm years

Player walk-outs, coaches fired, points deductions, transfer bans, the loss of some of their favourite legends - it's all happened at Florence Boldclub over the last five years and it all centres on two people: former youth director Boddicus Crane and young Kukalayan trainee Mano Onio, signed from top Kukalayan side 1883 Dakura Fútsal. Or poached, as the Fellowship ruled after a review. Boddicus Crane was a hugely divisive figure in his short tenure at the club which sparked a number of top quality players - including Tuw Turk - leaving the club; but the real trouble came from signing Onio, after some illegal tapping up by Crane. The Boldclub, among other sanctions, were deducted six points two seasons ago and banned for three years from signing players at any level. That ban runs for another year.

And finally, Boldclub fans will get to see what all the fuss is about as the player at the centre of the storm - Mano Onio - has been promoted to the first team by incoming manager Piper Doughty for this season (the other key party, Boddicus Crane, has departed the club and so far has not re-emerged in the Bonesligg). He has cost the club points, cash and players over the last three seasons, so many will be wondering - is he worth it? To be fair to the lad, it is hardly his fault and by all accounts he has worked hard these three years to reach the brink of the first team, and the dedicated few supporters who watch all the youth and development football speak fondly of him. Time will tell if the mainstream supporters feel the same.


Transfer Talk
All the key moves in one paragraph

In a quieter transfer window than of late, the big move across the Bonesligg was Ansell Skewes move from his hometown club Moss FC to the bright lights of the city and a transfer to Athletic Spit. The Ancients made a couple more big moves, bringing in Grinnsman German Piper from across town at Marine and SS Skiveness keeper Margeir Simonsen. That's a trio of decent signings right there along with much-admired Suumnari Gabriel Johansson from Kaskinen. Notably making way were well-travelled William Busque, veteran favourite Alfgeir Couch, and one of the Jones boys, Clem, dropping to feeder team St.Leah Gaels to join brother Mull as the two who so far have failed to make it in the top flight - must be awkward around the family dinner table some Sunday afternoons. Moves abroad were the fashion of the season, with young internationals Ruan Milan and Newlyn Glaze departing Start-93 and SS Skiveness respectively, following in the path of Napoléon to the tropics of Vilita - Ruan Milan to Turoki United and Newlyn Glaze to Tropicopr FC. With the introduction of the Intrepid Explorers Foundation grants for players to find work abroad, ten hopefuls managed to snag contracts including most notably Sillian Drake, the ex-Boldclub outside left leaving Oysterhaven Reds for Felswyr in Chromatika, Bui Wearne heading to Farfadillis and young prospect Hale House trying her luck in Abanhfelft with Arsenal de Releinthi. Back home champions SS Skiveness reinforced with a second major departure from Moss FC in Godwin Ba, along with the young Septen Islander Yoann Drezen. Going in the opposite direction to Godwin was Stokoe Bartail, a surprise switch given he was so intrinsic to Kenny Rising's championship winning side last season. There was quite a rotating door at The Bryophites with Etel Csonka, the Pasargan defensive midfielder, also leaving for Start-93; but Camillo Jones strengthened with Bartail and the top Ligg-2 prospect Oyulvur Danjalsson coming in from Turbine FF Gallowsea. Viking were among the most active in building ranks bringing in Yanis de Looff from Start-93 Joseph Angenent from Gymnasia Scold, the Danieri Glloum from Blue Boys FF and Jannick den Linds (Semarli) from Marine.


Image
Club By Club

Prospecting For Season 585
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Starling Maw

The long transfer ban for Florence Boldclub is beginning to bite now and they will struggle to keep up with the leaders after natural wastage leaves them somewhat behind some of their rivals, including a dangerous-looking Gymnasia Scold and a strong Torpedo Spitney; while the main contenders Athletic Spit and SS Skiveness both strengthened with foreign and domestic talent to push them ahead in the bookies thinking - but never write off the Green Faeries: they like to fight with their backs to the wall. Relegation is a certainty for the team that finishes bottom this season, and might the unthinkable happen - mighty Marine, twelve times champions and the biggest club in Bonesea, go down? That is a very real possibility after years of decline, and no other team has performed so mundanely over the last few seasons. Grasshoppers have lost their way a bit in recent seasons, being one of the least active recruiters and bringing through more talent from youth programmes than anyone else. Viking Tanager had a run of poor seasons before improving dramatically last time out, but once more they look likely to be in a fight for survival, along with Start-93. And watch out for Moss FC who recruited well but lost key players too - which way will the scales tip for the Bryophites?


Image

Image
Champions – SS Skiveness
Manager: Kenny Rising
Captain: Rémi Fofana (WEO-ZEN)
Star: Ursell Grayse-Lennox
Fans’ Hero: Piet Masschelin (VDG)
Watch For: Yoann Drezen (w/SEP)

In: Yoann Drezen (w/SEP) from AS Bonneville (w/SEP); Godwin Ba (w/ZEN), Moss FC
Out: Bjarne Albertsson (w/VAE) to Banners FC Skiveness; Margeir Simonsen (w/VAE), Athletic Spit; Stokoe Bartail, Moss FC; Newlyn Glaze, Tropicorp FC (VIL).
Retired: -

Prediction: 3rd


Image
2nd – Athletic Spit
Manager: Ruan Buzzard
Captain: Nobb Jones
Star: Reskadinnick Jones
Fans’ Hero: Donkey Ray Harton
Watch For: Gabriel Johansson (w/SUU)

In: Margeir Simonsen (w/VAE) from SS Skiveness; Ansell Skewes, Moss FC; Gabriel Johansson (w/SUU), Kaskinen (w/SUU); German Piper (w/SCG), Marine;
Out: William Busque (w/SEP) & Clem Jones to St.Leah Gaels; Mandible Carne, Marine; Alfgeir Couch, Start-93;
Retired: -

Prediction: Champions


Image
3rd – Torpedo Spitney
Manager: Mulfra Gerbino
Captain: Riaz Yuhanna Teke (WEO-BBS)
Star: Thrand Minkoff
Fans’ Hero: Hrut Smith
Watch For: Cett Smith

In: Halle Poirier (EFL) from Micro-Macaronia Academy (EFL); Noah Mockingbird, Start-93; Marcelo Pirozzi (w/TAM), Viking Tananger;
Out: Sadi Makavana (w/PAV) to Harbourwights FC; Lamorran Helland, Marine;
Retired: -

Prediction: 8th


Image
4th – Florence Boldclub
Manager: Piper Doughty
Captain: Loze Cotterill
Star: Erik Marlowe (NPH)
Fans’ Hero: Asteróide (DAI)
Watch For: Mano Onio (w/KKA)

In: Transfer ban until season 586.
Out: Gabriel Brazza (w/ZEN) to Herring Club; Daveth Restoria, Gymnasia Scold;
Retired: Alfie Hill (w/PSE)

Prediction: 6th


Image
5th – Moss FC
Manager: Camillo Jones
Captain: Mithian Gibson
Star: Ruben Roche
Fans’ Hero: EA Skewes
Watch For: Towan Halldorsson

In: Oyulvur Danjalsson (w/VAE) from Turbine FF Gallowsea; Stokoe Bartail, SS Skiveness; Pin Seung Ho (w/AAN), Gohan United (w/AAN);
Out: Godwin Ba (w/ZEN) to SS Skiveness; Ansell Skewes, Athletic Spit; Etel Csonka, Start-93
Retired: -

Prediction: 7th


Image
6th – Marine
Manager: Fistral McCrary
Captain: Nacho Zambrano (WEO-TAM)
Star: Rebbe Gyr
Fans’ Hero: Godfrey Jones
Watch For: Hockey Boscoppa-Cropper

In: Nivas Sarabhai (w/PAV) from Ayyangar Crickets (w/PAV); Lamorran Helland, Torpedo Spitney; Mandible Carne, Athletic Spit;
Out: Jannick den Linds (SEM) to Viking Tananger; German Piper (w/SCG), Athletic Spit;
Retired: -

Prediction: 10th


Image
7th – Viking Tananger
Manager: Buzza McCarthy
Captain: Chilli-Bean Acosta
Star: Chilli-Bean Acosta
Fans’ Hero: Chilli-Bean Acosta
Watch For: Bitelio Baptista (w/NAV)

In: Yanis de Looff (w/SEP) from Start-93; Joseph Angenent, Gymnasia Scold; Glloum (FAF), Blue Boys FF; Jannick den Linds (SEM), Marine;
Out: Marcelo Pirozzi (w/TAM) to Torpedo Spitney; BE Russell & Adminius Symonds, Kickers FF Sand; Calvo Jones-Watergate, Start-93;
Retired: Ragnhild Row (injured)

Prediction: 5th


Image
8th – Start-93
Manager: Buccus Hike
Captain: KG McKinley
Star: Tryggve Axelsson (USI)
Fans’ Hero: Duald Dunbar
Watch For: Aidan Laughingull

In: Calvo Jones-Watergate from Viking Tananger; Etel Csonka (PAS), Moss FC; Alfgeir Couch, Athletic Spit
Out: Noah Mockingbird to Torpdeo Spitney; Yanis de Looff (w/SEP), Viking Tananger; George Sory, Gymnasia Scold; Ruan Milan, Turoki United (VIL)
Retired: -

Prediction: 9th


Image
9th - Gymnasia Scold
Manager: Wellard Corfe
Captain:
Star: Ogma Codd
Fans’ Hero: Skua Ortiz
Watch For: Tresarret Jones

In: Antilochos Morton from Armada Club; Daveth Restoria, Florence Boldclub; George Sory, Start-93;
Out: Joseph Angenent to Viking Tanager;
Retired: Swithian Kirk (injured)

Prediction: 2nd


Image
10th – Grasshopper Club
Manager: Otteran ‘Otter’ Harrigan
Captain: Adama Koné (WEO-MK)
Star: Jay Witt
Fans’ Hero: Mika Paprika (USI)
Watch For: Berenger Roig (w/NAV)

In: -
Out: Nátan Rasmussen (w/VAE) to Aero Fennby;
Retired: -

Prediction: 4th
Last edited by Bonesea on Mon Jul 24, 2017 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-585 Round-Up

Postby Bonesea » Sat Jul 29, 2017 9:30 am

Image

Image
Season SB-585

Stat Summary
By Boldsport number cruncher, Forgael Whitethrush

My esteemed colleagues Dub Meadows, Starling Maw and Johnny Foreigner will give you the analysis in the next post: I don't do the colour, just the numbers. What I can tell you is new Boldclub manager Piper Doughty answered questions about her ability to manage at a big club after success with minnows Combine Tamness-Nordby, taking the title in a supremely close finish with the top 5 all within one win of taking the championship. It was perhaps the least impressive title of recent seasons but the Green Faeries will take it anyway as they move one title ahead of Marine as the most successful Bonesligg team of all time, with the Mariners looking light years away from being able to rein them in. Meanwhile as the league reshuffle begins, Viking are the first team in fifteen seasons to suffer an automatic relegation from the top flight, as Gullravens, Blue Boys and Escobar de Cabanyas’ Oysterhaven Reds complete the trio of debutants in the expanded Ligg-1. In the Skellingkop, non-leaguers Florentine Rose complete one of the biggest shocks in the cup history with a stunning first round penalty win over reigning champions Athletic Spit, after holding the Ancients to a 1-1 draw. Gullravens complete a fantastic season under Hastein Zelah by winning Ligg-2 and promotion, and reaching the Kop final before defeat to SS Skiveness.



Image
. Bonesligg-One Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Florence Boldclub 36 16 8 12 74 70 +4 56 Oranjibol
2 Gymnasia Scold 36 14 13 9 72 67 +5 55 Blue Marble
3 SS Skiveness 36 15 10 11 71 74 −3 55 Blue Marble
4 Start-93 36 16 6 14 72 66 +6 54 Blue Marble
5 Moss FC 36 15 8 13 66 51 +15 53
6 Athletic Spit 36 13 11 12 80 61 +19 50
7 Torpedo Spitney 36 14 7 15 76 85 −9 49
8 Marine 36 12 10 14 80 85 −5 46
9 Grasshopper Club 36 11 8 17 73 86 −13 41
10 Viking Tananger 36 7 13 16 68 87 −19 34 Relegated


Image
. Bonesligg-Two Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Gullravens FC 36 18 7 11 82 62 +20 61 Coupe de Moutard & promoted to Ligg-1
2 Blue Boys FF 36 16 12 8 84 64 +20 60 Coupe de Moutard & promoted to Ligg-1
3 Oysterhaven Reds 36 17 7 12 89 70 +19 58 Coupe de Moutard & promoted to Ligg-1
4 1.FC Tocklehove 36 15 8 13 67 61 +6 53
5 Fishers Grimsea 36 14 7 15 68 59 +9 49
6 Whelm Town Welfare 36 14 6 16 71 84 −13 48
7 Skelling Club 36 12 11 13 68 69 −1 47
8 Turbine FF Gallowsea 36 13 5 18 89 101 −12 44
9 Celtic Skein 36 10 12 14 49 76 −27 42 Ligg-2
10 Armada Club 36 9 9 18 57 78 −21 36 Relegated to Ligg-3

Image
. Bonesligg-Three Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Industria SS 36 14 12 10 67 52 +15 54
2 Tundra Axle FC 36 14 12 10 92 82 +10 54
3 1.FC Bøe 36 14 12 10 69 60 +9 54
4 Spartans FF Liarby 36 14 10 12 58 66 −8 52
5 Combine Tamness-Nordby 36 13 11 12 72 65 +7 50 Ligg-2
6 Rangers Tocklehove FF 36 12 10 14 71 70 +1 46 Ligg-3
7 17.FF Tolling 36 11 11 14 76 68 +8 44
8 Stockett Brigade 36 11 11 14 72 91 −19 44
9 Academical 36 9 16 11 60 68 −8 43
10 Kickers FF Sand 36 12 7 17 67 82 −15 43

Image
Bonesligg-Four Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Crows Club 36 18 10 8 92 44 +48 64
2 Rapid FF Kells 36 18 9 9 85 66 +19 63
3 Guillemots 36 16 10 10 77 65 +12 58
4 St. Leah Gaels 36 16 8 12 88 67 +21 56
5 Irsha-57 SK 36 13 8 15 75 78 −3 47
6 Turbine Moss FF 36 13 8 15 58 65 −7 47 Ligg-3
7 East Spit Casuals FC 36 11 12 13 71 77 −6 45 Ligg-4
8 Banners FC Skiveness 36 11 7 18 58 76 −18 40
9 Hearts AFC 36 9 12 15 48 74 −26 39
10 Skullion FF 36 10 6 20 46 86 −40 36

Image
Bonesligg-Five Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Otters Club 36 14 14 8 63 55 +8 56
2 Blackskull Club 36 16 8 12 73 69 +4 56
3 Penchant & District 36 15 7 14 55 52 +3 52
4 Washaway FC 36 15 7 14 74 76 −2 52
5 Dogside Works FF 36 14 9 13 60 50 +10 51
6 Herring Club 36 14 9 13 51 44 +7 51
7 Club Zenega 36 13 7 16 56 59 −3 46
8 Aero Fennby 36 12 10 14 68 72 −4 46 Ligg-4
9 Bannerclub Clun 36 11 13 12 63 75 −12 46 Ligg-5
10 FC Harbourwights 36 9 10 17 52 63 −11 37


Bonesligg Restructure
Ligg-5 Expansion Teams

Viking Spit SK
Olympic Gallowsea
Bonesea Air Force Club
Omnibus Athletic
Spittal County
Florentine Rose
Slatterness Amateur
Nordfold Browns
Mosquitos
Union Skive


Image

Skellingkop-1 

Washaway FC 0–1 Bonesea Mountain Rescue AC
Clunwardine Leopard 0–2 Spit City
Turbine FF Gallowsea 7–0 Golden Lion
Hemness Nuclear 0–4 Start-93
Solomon FC 2–1 Stingrays
Combine FF Pikefells 0–5 Florence Boldclub
Otters Club 0–0 Scotvik FF (1–1 AET) (5–6 pen.)
Saltby Town 1–1 Olympic Gallowsea (1–2 AET)
Gymnasia Scold 4–2 Skullharrow Jets
Celtic Skein 5–0 FTK Whelm
Hearts AFC 3–3 Red Orca (4–3 AET)
1.FC Tocklehove 3–5 Spartans FF Liarby
FC Harbourwights 1–3 Shale Athletics Union
Spite Rovers 1–3 Rapid FF Kells
SSC Ringdale 1–5 Bannerclub Clun
Spittal County 1–5 Academical
Torpedo Spitney 0–3 Turbine Moss FF
Heralds Club 1–0 Omnibus Athletic
Crabbers Club 1–1 Rise Thistle (1–1 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Gullravens FC 7–0 UZZZR Exiles Club
1.FC Bøe 3–1 Discordian Wanderers
Battallion 1–0 SS Skaya
Vetting Islanders 0–3 Terrier Club
Skullion FF 5–1 Whelm Town Welfare
AirBone SSC 1–1 Combined Varsity Athletics Union (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Rangers Tocklehove FF 0–3 Crows Club
Tolling Orient 0–1 Tundra FC
St. Leah Gaels 1–1 17.FF Tolling (2–1 AET)
Dial Tavern Brawlers 1–2 Nordfold Browns
Moss Thistle FC 1–0 Coffin Island Rangers
Bonesea Air Force Club 1–1 Angaby FF (1–1 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Viking Spit SK 0–3 Armada Club
Gannet FC 1–5 Kickers FF Sand
Herring Club 0–3 East Spit Casuals FC
Tunns Club 0–2 Bonehouse Violet
Moss Whalers 2–2 Industria SS (2–2 AET) (4–3 pen.)
FC Berserkr 2–0 Gallowsea Ramblers
Orchids 0–5 SS Skiveness
Gargoyles Club 1–1 United Altafriqana (1–1 AET) (3–2 pen.)
Gullmarket Isambards 0–1 Tugboat Marines FC
Dogside Works FF 2–0 Longby SS
Club Zenega 0–1 Dockyard Peloton
Blue Boys FF 3–1 Spit Whistle Club
Combine Tamness-Nordby 1–5 Stockett Brigade
Guillemots 7–3 Marine
Fishers Grimsea 2–0 Viking Hallingby SK
Oyna & Gritting Combine 3–3 Union Skive (3–3 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Scold Thunder FC 1–1 Mosquitos (1–1 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Slatterness Amateur 1–0 Bleary Athletic
Captain Amble FC 1–0 Celts Club
Moss FC 3–0 Viking Tananger
Sandness FC 1–0 Refugee Club
Admiral Cossentine 1–5 Aero Fennby
Penchant & District 4–0 Basques
Irsha-57 SK 1–3 Strand Rose
Blackskull Club 3–1 SS Spittalsea
Tamarindian Club 0–1 Lundsea Pier FC
Banners FC Skiveness 3–7 Oysterhaven Reds
Neskullen Argyle 1–7 Tundra Axle FC
Florentine Rose 1–1 Athletic Spit (1–1 AET) (3–2 pen.)
SS Hammerdale 3–0 Murrow FC
Gargantua 0–2 Mission Sparta
SCB-Alliance 1–4 Grasshopper Club
Skelling Club 6–3 Tolga Maroons

Skellingkop-2

Sandness FC 2–1 Tundra FC
SS Skiveness 2–2 Tundra Axle FC (3–2 AET)
Oysterhaven Reds 7–3 Shale Athletics Union
Bannerclub Clun 3–1 Mission Sparta
Bonesea Air Force Club 3–4 Florentine Rose
Dockyard Peloton 0–7 Grasshopper Club
East Spit Casuals FC 3–1 Gargoyles Club
1.FC Bøe 3–1 Blackskull Club
St. Leah Gaels 1–2 Skullion FF
Gymnasia Scold 6–1 Hearts AFC
Moss Thistle FC 0–5 Rapid FF Kells
Fishers Grimsea 5–5 Florence Boldclub (5–5 AET) (1–4 pen.)
Spartans FF Liarby 0–7 Start-93
Olympic Gallowsea 1–5 Union Skive
Bonesea Mountain Rescue AC 0–3 Turbine Moss FF
Blue Boys FF 6–0 Scotvik FF
Spit City 0–3 Rise Thistle
Lundsea Pier FC 1–3 Battallion
Crows Club 6–1 Captain Amble FC
Skelling Club 1–0 Strand Rose
Solomon FC 0–2 Turbine FF Gallowsea
Moss FC 1–3 Guillemots
Tugboat Marines FC 1–4 Kickers FF Sand
Celtic Skein 5–1 Aero Fennby
Terrier Club 1–7 Stockett Brigade
Slatterness Amateur 2–1 FC Berserkr
Combined Varsity Athletics Union 1–0 Heralds Club
Mosquitos 0–1 Penchant & District
SS Hammerdale 0–4 Gullravens FC
Armada Club 9–1 Nordfold Browns
Dogside Works FF 0–0 Bonehouse Violet (1–1 AET) (5–3 pen.)
Academical 2–0 Moss Whalers

Skellingkop-3

Combined Varsity Athletics Union 2–1 Penchant & District
Kickers FF Sand 3–0 Guillemots
Slatterness Amateur 0–0 Celtic Skein (0–0 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Florentine Rose 0–9 Florence Boldclub
East Spit Casuals FC 1–0 Batallion
1.FC Bøe 1–1 Dogside Works FF (1–2 AET)
Sandness FC 1–7 Start-93
Armada Club 4–4 Skelling Club (7–6 AET)
Stockett Brigade 9–0 Union Skive
Gullravens FC 6–0 Academical
Rapid FF Kells 1–3 Gymnasia Scold
Turbine Moss FF 0–5 Oysterhaven Reds
Rise Thistle 1–3 Crows Club
Blue Boys FF 1–3 SS Skiveness
Grasshopper Club 8–0 Bannerclub Clun
Skullion FF 2–1 Turbine FF Gallowsea

Skellingkop-4

Kickers FF Sand 5–0 Combined Varsity Athletics Union
Skullion FF 1–4 SS Skiveness
Crows Club 1–9 Gullravens FC
East Spit Casuals FC 2–0 Oysterhaven Reds
Armada Club 5–5 Florence Boldclub (6–5 AET)
Gymnasia Scold 8–1 Dogside Works FF
Start-93 3–1 Stockett Brigade
Slatterness Amateur 0–2 Grasshopper Club

Skellingkop-5

Armada Club 6–5 Grasshopper Club
Gymnasia Scold 3–5 Gullravens FC
SS Skiveness 4–4 East Spit Casuals FC (5–4 AET)
Start-93 8–2 Kickers FF Sand

Skellingkop-6

Armada Club 1–3 SS Skiveness
Gullravens FC 5–0 Start-93

Skellingkopfinal

Gullravens FC 1–1 SS Skiveness (1–2 AET)


Image
Juvenligg-1 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Viking Youth 22 11 6 5 56 37 +19 39
2 Bold Youth 22 11 3 8 53 53 0 36
3 Ocean Cadets 22 11 3 8 38 41 −3 36
4 Rigger Monkeys 22 10 5 7 38 38 0 35
5 Grasshopper u19 22 11 2 9 37 37 0 35
6 Young Folk FC 22 9 6 7 45 28 +17 33
7 Young Offenders FC 22 8 6 8 25 30 −5 30
8 Orphanage FC 22 7 7 8 44 48 −4 28
9 Young Refugees FC 22 7 7 8 37 45 −8 28
10 Chavo 22 4 11 7 38 44 −6 23
11 Latiñeros 22 4 9 9 37 40 −3 21
12 Juvenil 22 5 3 14 44 51 −7 18

Image
Juvenligg-2 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Torpedo Juniors 22 10 8 4 47 36 +11 38
2 Sparta YC 22 11 4 7 56 47 +9 37
3 Red Boys 22 11 2 9 55 48 +7 35
4 Young Fishers 22 9 5 8 54 51 +3 32
5 Gymnasia u19 22 9 5 8 40 41 −1 32
6 Junior Blues 22 7 8 7 55 41 +14 29
7 Start u19 22 8 5 9 53 41 +12 29
8 Turbine u19 22 7 8 7 43 47 −4 29
9 Gulls u19 22 8 4 10 44 51 −7 28
10 Amblesea Juniors 22 7 6 9 49 50 −1 27
11 Celtic u19 22 7 6 9 51 68 −17 27
12 Orient YC 22 4 7 11 45 71 −26 19
Last edited by Bonesea on Sun Jul 30, 2017 2:43 am, edited 4 times in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-585 Review

Postby Bonesea » Sun Aug 06, 2017 3:32 am

Image

Image
Lucky Thirteen

Bonesligg-585: The Season In Review
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Dub Meadows
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

Florence Boldclub become the undisputed most successful club in Bonesligg history as new manager Piper Doughty steered them to Lucky Thirteen and one title ahead of the - formerly, anyway - Marine. In possibly one of the most farcical title finishes in Bonesligg history, three clubs - Florence, SS Skiveness and Start-93 - were all within range of the title, and all three lost dismally on decider day, game 36. The Green Faeries 1-3 defeat at home to Gymnasia Scold, who advanced above the other title contenders and into the runners-up spot, was the least shocking of the three and they secured a record thirteenth title as a result. Meanwhile, with the Boldclub losing, either The Geese or The Herrings could have stolen the title with a win. Start had the better chance of that with a home tie to Moss FC - and were thrashed 1-6 to destroy their best ever shot at a first title. But that wasn't the worst of it - SS Skiveness went into an albeit tricky tie in the capital at Athletic with their own hopes of securing a successful title defence. They were blown out of the water in a 1-7 humiliation. On an odd day in which a 1-3 home defeat was enough to secure the title, The Herrings humbling wasn't the worst result of the day - that would go to last year's runner-up Torpedo, who in a capital derby across town at Marine were smashed 9-1.

Image
Bonesligg Champions

Florence Boldclub
Piper Dreams!


The Green Faeries took a record thirteenth title, new manager Piper Doughty proving she had the nouse to win at the top after several seasons of lower league success at tiny Combine Tamness-Nordby. Few were certain of her ability or credentials, and she did not have a promising start with only two wins in the first six games and a humiliating 1-9 defeat to bitter rivals and stadium-sharers Marine. In most leagues around the multiverse that would have surely been the end of her time after only three games, and perhaps even in the Bonesligg too if it wasn't for the fact the Green Faeries had removed their last manager after only seven games and gone the rest of the season with an emminently capable but patently temporary caretaker manager in Billy Sermons. He was probably already shaking his head and declaring to the board that he wouldn't do it again, and the board obviously decided to ride it out. The plan worked. Whilst not the most decisive title in Ligg history, it was a title nonetheless, and the lucky thirteenth at that to take them clear of Marine.

Still operating under a transfer embargo, Piper was unable to significantly strengthen a team that finished fourth the previous season and had lost striker Daveth Restoria to Gymnasia Scold before she took up the reins. She promoted youth teamers Merrin Ward and Mano Onio - the young Kukalayan forward whose name has become short-hand for the disastrous dramatics at the Boldclub for the past three seasons. Both Merrin and Mano impressed in short spells in their first season, although Piper used the youngsters cautiously for the most part as their development continued. Was Mano Onio worth the considerable trouble he brought the club - not that any of this was his fault - judging on his debut season? Probably. Certainly he looks like he has the potential to dominate defences in the Bonesligg. His second season, 586, could be the decisive season. Once more veteran Asteróide led the line for the Green Faeries and despite his considerable age for a top line striker at 41, he still looks the part. Beyond the stellar Daneri, you would have to say this Boldclub squad looks a little pedestrian in terms of it's mainstays - the likes of Iland Penaluña, Elatha Rule, and Othergate O'Sullivan are decent enough players without getting any sports writer hot under the collar. The next generation - Merrin Ward, Webber O'Neill, Mano Onio, Axsiuu, and Oto - do look like exciting prospects, but overall this is a workmanlike team that could do with some injection of flair now that the transfer ban is finally lifted. In some quarters it has been whispered that this team did not so much win the title as inherit it from a clutch of better teams who could not sort their own houses out sufficiently to put in a creditable season. Harsh.


Gymnasia Scold, the great underachiever of recent times in the Ligg (whilst being the giant of recent Kop seasons), had a strong finish to take the runner-up spot, taking advantage of the last-day crash of title challengers SS Skiveness and Start-93, who were relegated to third and fourth places but just about managed to secure Colour Cup qualifications in Taxhavn. Just missing out in 5th were Moss FC, who had a decent enough season and perhaps might have hoped to capitalise on the inconsistencies of the four teams above them to finish higher than what on paper looks like a standard mid-table season for them. Perhaps next time around they will be genuine contenders. Meanwhile Athletic and Torpedo both looked well off the pace to finish in the lower half of the league, with Marine and Grasshopper Club once again struggling. But in a guaranteed relegation season for the bottom team, Buzza McCarthy & Chilli-Bean Acosta's Viking Tananger finally succumbed to what had been on the cards for some time with their third finish at the foot of the table in four seasons, landing them with a place in Ligg-2 next season.

In the expansion process they will be replaced by a trio of teams, with Gullravens and Blue Boys FF taking their places as many predicted, while third place sensationally went to the controversial Audioslav pair Escobar de Cabanyas and Davin de Valle, their new club Oysterhaven Reds hitting previously uncharted heights of Bonesligg-1. Just a short hop away from their former glories at SS Skiveness, the pair will hope to restore the aura of invincibility around them after their fall from grace at Florence Boldclub and 1.FC Tocklehove respectively. It seems unlikely though - a small provincial club in the shadow of the mighty SS Skiveness and sharing the catchment area with Gymnasia Scold as well, the Reds seem to have an uphill battle to match their local rivals.


Awards & Records
Season-585

Champions:	Florence Boldclub (13th title)
Runners-Up: Gymnasia Scold
Third Place: SS Skiveness

Kop Winners: SS Skiveness (11th title; 16 finals)
Runners-Up: Gullravens (2nd final)

Taxhavn Colour Cups Qualifications

Oranjibol: Florence Boldclub
Blue Marble: Gymnasia Scold
SS Skiveness
Start-93
C de Moutarde: Gullravens FC
Blue Boys FF
Oysterhaven Reds
Duck Cup: SS Skiveness

ExtraKop-585: Florence Boldclub vs. SS Skiveness
(Super Cup season opener)

Lower Ligg Champions

Bonesligg-2: Gullravens FC
Bonesligg-3: Industria Amblesea
Bonesligg-4: Crows Club
Bonesligg-5: Otters Club
Spittaligg-A: SCB-Alliance

National Youth League
Juvenligg-1: Viking Youth
Juvenligg-2: Torpedo Juniors

Player Awards

Fellows Award: Ogma Codd (Gymnasia Scold)
(Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Baldomiro el Ogro (Gymnasia Scold)
Third Place: Idaios Clapp (SS Skiveness)

Bonesligg-2: Shelyak (DAI) (Fishers Grimsea)
Bonesligg-3: Leita Quail (Tundra Axle FC)
Bonesligg-4: Lincoln McMillan (PSE)(Crows Club)
Bonesligg-5: Eoghann MacMahiadhchain (Otters Club)

Golden Boot: Cade Jones (Athletic Spit) 25 goals
Runner-Up: Goulchan Omnes (Marine) 24

Bonesligg-2: John-Beef Caspar (Oysterhaven Reds) 29
Bonesligg-3: Leita Quail (Tundra Axle FC) 31
Bonesligg-4: Thighbone Robinson (Crows Club) 26
Bonesligg-5: Tremedda Coss (Otters Club) 26

Golden Glove: Bernard Doisneau (Moss FC)
Runner-Up: Donkey Ray Harton (Athletic Spit)

Bonesligg-2: Spider Scrivenor (Fishers Grimsea)
Bonesligg-3: Foss Honey (Industria Amblesea)
Bonesligg-4: Lincoln McMillan (PSE)(Crows Club)
Bonesligg-5: Penhallurick Cox (Herring Club)

Young Fella: Aidan Laughingull (Start-93) 19 years
(Young Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Axsiuu (DAI)(Florence Boldclub) 19
Third Place: Etienne Fuentes 18

Bonesligg-2: Pluto Blinkman (APX) (Oysterhaven) 16
Bonesligg-3: Foss Honey (Industria Amblesea) 18
Bonesligg-4: Orose Pearn (Rapid FF Kells) 18
Bonesligg-5: Tremedda Coss (Otters Club) 18
Juvenligg: Gunna Hussey (Viking Youth) 17

Argångaward: Piper Doughty (Florence Boldclub)
(Coach of The Season)
Runner-Up: Wellard Corfe (Gymnasia Scold)

Bonesligg-2: Hastein Zelah (Gullravens FC)
Bonesligg-3: Ifni Anderson (Industria Amblesea)
Bonesligg-4: Donngal Hicks (Crows Club)
Bonesligg-5: Joll Capane (Otters Club)


Fellows Award: The Player of The Season
Ogma Codd

The rise and rise of Ogma Codd continues apace as he played a key role in the success of Gymnasia Scold, finishing in thier highest league placing since winning the title 31 years ago. Wellard Corfe has assembled quite a squad of understated talent, but one thing you can't say about Ogma is that he is understated. A fine athlete, flamboyant churner and a comedian both on and off the pitch, he's as much fun to interview as he is to watch - which is to say, quite a lot. Terrorising teams across the league with his creative vision, sublime passing and reckless runs, he is reaching a point where he is ready to challenge his national team mentor Tuw Turk for the starting spot in the coming World Cup* and beyond.

A mountain foundling adopted in Overgiven by the Codd family, the circumstances of his discovery are the subject of much speculation and a special report by the Narrative Committee, who are hoping to elevate Ogma into the Shambolic Tradition – he’s about as good at gathering stories as he is at the churn, which is quite something. Trained by his adoptive mother Gaela Beeny at Orphanage FC, his younger brother Mouthy Hal is centreback at Industrial Amblesea in the lower leagues, and while he might rise to the highest levels of football over the next few years, his ultimate goal is to captain his own fishing boat following his mentorship by Caro Tyree, Captain Sloggett and the limey crew of the Florizel. Perhaps that is what interests the Narrative Committee the most.

Fellows Award Previous Winners
SB-574Toribio Gallo (TAM), Viking Tananger
SB-575Conchobar Wickett, Spittalmarine
SB-576Des Jeruselem, Florence Boldclub
SB-577Nobb Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-578Reskadinnick Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-579Reskadinnick Jones (2), Athletic Spit
SB-580Tuw Turk, Florence Boldclub
SB-581Ursell Grayse-Lennox, SS Skiveness
SB-582Nobb Jones (2), Athletic Spit
SB-583Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub
SB-584Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness

Image

Image
Skellingkopfinal

SS Skiveness 2-1 Gullravens (AET) F/T: 1-1 H/T: 1-1
@ St.Leah's Ground, Spittalsea. Attendance 21,400

Goals: Fiakr Le Lay 15' Cleon Jay Scopps 101'
Hroald Calstock 33'
Player of the match: Creddan Pound (SS Skiveness)
Booked: Yasir Ala al-Din, Innes Malpas & Jose Enrique
Alejandro Ibañez, Rilla Downgate, Claumie Bootwarbler
Sent off: Claumie Bootwarbler


Player Ratings
SS Skiveness				Gullravens

Creddan Pound [8.6](PoM) Sebavo [8.0] Match Statistics
Larrick Jones-Gummo [6.8] Paddack Coffey [7.5]
Rémi Fofana [7.7] Rodric Badders [7.7] Poss (%): 58/42
Bandry Mundy [6.8] Hroald Calstock [6.7](1) Shots: 20-12
Cleon Jay Scopps [8.2](1) Alejandro Ibañez [6.7] On Target: 8-4
Yasir Ala al-Din [7.3] Boraspos [7.9] Pass Comp(%): 76-73
Idaios Clapp [6.9] Rilla Downgate [6.7] Corners: 8-7
Piet Masschelin [7.3] Fahd Hanif [6.5] Fouls: 5-11
Fiakr Le Lay [7.8](1) Claumie Bootwarbler [5.0] Yellow cards: 3-2
Innes Malpas [6.0] Nestor Gaverne [6.2] Reds: 0-1
Jose Enrique [8.1] Masho Le Pen [7.0]

Subs Used Subs Used
Artgallo Lock [8.0] Gam McCrossin [6.2]
Sted Gluvian [7.8] Turk Whetter [6.7]
Lewarne Sillitoe [ - ]


Eleven Up
SS Skiveness 2-1 Gullravens

It's been an eleven year wait for SS, the most successful team in Skellingkop history, to win their eleventh Kop, in a rematch with the team from whom they won their second. It was a close game against a team under Hastein Zelah who were already celebrating winning Ligg-2 and promotion to the top flight in the week before the Kop final, and the outsiders put in enough of a shift to give The Herrings a battle, take them to extra time, and almost push it to penalties with the last kick of the game when Nestor Gaverne's fine looping shot was superbly saved by player of the match Creddan Pound. Overall SS deserved the victory for controlling possession and creating more opportunities than their dogged opponents, and they will have been delighted to finally get over the line again after missing out last year in a surprise final defeat to Gymnasia Scold.

Claumie Bootwarbler helped their cause to some extent, the 'Ravens striker picking up two yellow cards for what could be best described as 'over-enthusiasm' and leaving his team a man short for the additional 30 minutes in which his team ran out of ideas. Winger Cleon Jay Scopps bagged the winner in the first half of extra time, after team-mate Fiakr le Lay had got them out in front, only for 16-year-old Hroald Calstock, the youngest player to appear in a Kop final, to gloriously hit an equaliser before a half-hour was out. The promise of more goals was slow to materialise however, as the Ravens dug in and efficiently kept the Herrings out. These teams will meet in the league next season for the first time in twenty-three years and you can't honestly say there was a gulf in class between them, even though on paper the likes of Masho Le Pen, Fahd Hanif and Rilla Downgate don't really look like Ligg-1 material. Notably this final feature not one but two Monozygotes (how ironic is that?) appearing for the first time in a Skellingkopfinal, as keeper Sebavo and inside left Boraspos both impressed for the losing side.

Image
The Johnny Foreigner Report

The Low Down on our Bonesligg Migrants - Season 585
by Boldsport staff writer Johnny Foreigner

The way we play it at home is a little… rougher… and muddier… and… greasier... than the widely appreciated international variant of Association Football; in Greasy Churning, one must be prepared for a spot of wrestling. It won’t be everyone’s cup of Boney Tea, that’s for sure. So who made the switch from foreign climes with bruising grace? And who got floored on their first outing? Welcome to the Johnny Foreigner Report, your annual round-up of the Football Migrants gracing our game.



SS Skiveness' favourite pair of Piet Masschelin and Lobjstein has a great season for the annual contenders, and for the latter that was something of a revival after a couple of seasons of stuggle, but the writing looks on the wall for team-mate Cocó, the first foreign woman to play in the Bonesligg, who has promised so much at both The Herrings and previously at the Boldclub, and has consistently failed to deliver. Another poor season will surely see her drop into a lower league or return home - something she is unlikely to do given the shaky nature of the Sunrisian economy and the suspicion that a cataclysmic termination event is on the horizon. Several Ligg-2 clubs are said to be interested, although newly promoted Oysterhaven Reds may give her one last bite of the top tier cherry where her former managers Escobar de Cabanyas and Davin de Valle will be strengthening following their promotion. There were great waves made up in Oysterhaven by a youngster pulled in from the famous Centre for Excellence in Apox, with 16-year-old Pluto Blinkman the first 'Ez & Dav' signing at their new club. Despite his tender years the defender was a star of the promotion season at the Reds, and looks a real prospect as he prepares for his debut top flight season next time around.

Johnny Foreigner Award SB-585
Baldomiro el Ogro

Inside right, Gymnasia Scold

"Immensely strong, with an instinctive talent for football, and also completely nuts. It's hard to make any instructions go through his head, but he sort of knows what to do already."

Nobody has really summed up 'The Ogre' better than Boldclub favourite Asteróide, when asked about the signing of the obscure Baldomiro three seasons ago - the two had played against each other in the third tier Dainer Beta League, Asteróide for Brunzundangas and the Lasernan national el Ogro for Sukatora Sassa. They have resumed combative duties against each other in the Bonseligg where their physical approach to football has been a perfect fit for greasy churning. Signing for Wellard Corfe's 'family project' at Gymnasia Scold, the old man of the team has been instrumental in raising the club off the bottom of the division where they had been struggling for a number of seasons, and turning them into title contenders. In his three seasons with The Gym el Ogro has firmly established himself as a fan favourite, impressing from the start to finish 3rd and 9th in the Johnny Foreigner rankings in his first two seasons, and at the tender age of 38, has hit the top of the list following a magnificent season for his club.

Baldomiro is not dumb, even if he plays the role to perfection in training, in press conferences, and to referees after a particularly over-the-top challenge: his team-mates say he is a quiet man with little to say for himself, and combined with his giant stature, heavy brow and long stare makes him look a little like one of our neanderthal cousins from the high mountain ranges, the Knogglefolk. But, they also say, when he does speak he is eloquent, thoughtful, and - yes - nuts. "He sees things differently to everyone else," says team-mate and friend Skua Ortiz, charitably. The two room together on awayday overnighters and el Ogro stayed with Skua and his family when he first arrived in Scold. "I think the local weather took it out of him a bit," explains Ogma Codd, who shares his natural position. The two of them are so important to the team that coach Corfe has worked with both players to play in an adaptable system of on-field rotation that has successfully confused many defences this season. "The first words he ever said to me in the Boney Linga were 'it's freezing up here' - although he'd added some nice expletives which he must have picked up in a local bar - I don't think he's ever gotten over the trauma and his brain is scrambled." Known locally to be an approachable friendly giant much adored by Boney Chavo - that's kids to you and me - he has settled down in Scold but makes frequent visitations to The Famous Fortune Teller of Skiveness Pier. Whilst they are not officially a couple so far as anyone knows, it is worth noting that her second son, two years old, has been given the name Ogresson. Read into that what you will.

Still going strong at 38, Baldomiro has extended his contract at The Gym and like some of his fellow foreign vets in Asteróide (41), Paracoílson (38) and Schrek (48), he shows no sign of slowing down. These four beasts of the churning field could go on forever, joined by our own Caro Tyree (45), who thanks to a fluid time accident seems to have been fixed at the physical age of about 23. Baldomiro, by contrast still a youngster in this group, does not look 23 - he looks about 423, much the same as your average mountain troll.

Johnny Foreigner Award Previous Winners
SB-579Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub
SB-580Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness
SB-581Leonardo Ducaldo (USI), Grasshopper Club
SB-582Adel Nzonzi (SEM), SS Skiveness
SB-583Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub (2nd award)
SB-584Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness (2nd award)

Performance Summary*

Name			Nat.	Pos.	Club			Rating

Baldomiro el Ogro LAS IL/R Gymnasia Scold 9.58
Lobjstein HUE HB SS Skiveness 9.04
Piet Masschelin VLG CF SS Skiveness 8.95
Sarah XSV IRN OR Torpedo Spitney 8.85
João Batata USI OL Athletic Spit 8.83
Etel Csonka PAS OL Start-93 8.64 Transferred from Moss FC
Asteróide DAI CF Florence Boldclub 8.61
Filipp Nashoba ABI CF Moss FC 8.59
Halle Poirier EFL OR Torpedo Spitney 8.24
Tryggve Axelsson USI CB Start-93 8.09

Ivy Herrick NPH CB Torpedo Spitney 8.02
Zé Caramba USI GK Marine 8.02
Jannick den Linds SEM HB Viking Tananger 8.01 Transferred from Marine
Arquimides USI CB Grasshopper Club 7.95
Hércules Menezes USI CF Athletic Spit 7.95
Arichi Kunorikato USI IR Florence Boldclub 7.85
Jeronimo USI OL Grasshopper Club 7.63
Nemesio Adams EFL OL Gymnasia Scold 7.32
Erik Marlowe NPH CF Florence Boldclub 7.23
Tanque DAI HB Torpedo Spitney 7.22
Oto DAI HB Florence Boldclub 7.18
Vojislav Pitalesharo ABI CF Start-93 7.15
Ravinger DAI HB Torpedo Spitney 7.10
Glloum FAF CF Viking Tananger 7.10 Transferred from Blue Boys FF
Jose Enrique USI IR SS Skiveness 7.07
Karl Boness SEM GK Gymnasia Scold 6.96
Sham'a Ranger EFL CF Start-93 6.93
Axsiuu DAI IL Florence Boldclub 6.86
Renato Moleiro RED CB Torpedo Spitney 6.80
Anders Boness SEM GK Grasshopper Club 6.67
Mateo Rossini USI/OSS IR/L Grasshopper Club 6.56
Adel Nzonzi SEM OR Viking Tananger 6.35
Mika Paprika USI HB Grasshopper Club 6.26
Cocó USI IR SS Skiveness 6.12
Fingal Altimimy COS HB Marine 5.95
Leonardo Ducaldo USI CF Grasshopper Club 5.75

Lower League Players

Shelyak DAI CB Fishers Grimsea 9.61 Transferred from Athletic Spit
Newton Milesvile MRT CB 1.FC Tocklehove 9.37
Pluto Blinkman APX HB Oysterhaven Reds 8.83
Scott Balde USI GK Skelling Club 8.20 Transferred from Grasshopper Club
Brendo Pozo AUD HB 1.FC Tocklehove 7.93
Jørgen Berthelsen USI IR Fishers Grimsea 7.85 Transferred from Grasshopper Club
Kvetoslav Irniq ABI CF Irsha-57 SK 7.77
Paracoílson CPV CF Herring Club 7.73
Mochi Yoshinami USI CF Aero Fennby 7.05
Narahboson AES CB Fishers Grimsea 6.88
Anton Etxebarria AUD IR 1.FC Tocklehove 6.88
Schreck DAI IL 1.FC Tocklehove 6.15

* excludes players from Wide Enness Ocean region
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-586 Preview

Postby Bonesea » Fri Aug 25, 2017 10:16 pm

Image

Image
Around Again

Bonesligg-586: Your Guide To The Season
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Dub Meadows
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

Greetings Boldsport fans! Another season is upon us, and they might be right across the multiverse - they do seem to come thick and fast up here in the cold north. I can hardly keep up. A big season this year with Ez & Dav - that's Audioslavs Escobar de Cabanyas and Davin de Valle to you and me - back in the big time having lead Oysterhaven Reds to unlikely promotion from Ligg-2, with startlingly talented young Apoxi Pluto Blinkman catching the eye for the Reds and looking like a talent who will be hard to handle. Could this be Gymnasia's year? At the Boldsport we think so - they look so strong, on paper (or in pixel) at least. But the main reason that it's a big year is... UICA is back! The glorious multiversal club competition, into it's 68th cycle, comes around again and our clubs will be hoping for deep runs in all competitions, including the Youth Cup which we'll provide an entrant on the champions path for the first time. So everything to play for across the divisions in this newly re-organised league structure - more teams per division, less games per season, and the return of automatic promotion/relegation. But who is prepared for glory? Who is woefully underprepared and looking at the trap door? And who has jumped ship in the hope of better outcomes and more fun next time around?


New Challengers
Ligg-1 welcomes three promoted teams in expansion

While poor Viking Tananger suffer the heartbreak of relegation to the second tier after a number of seasons of struggle, a trio of hopefuls make up the expansion season looking forward to shaking up the natural order of things. While Gullravens FC have been here before - once a regular boing-boing team back in the days before automatic promotion was scrapped - both Blue Boys FF and Oysterhaven Reds are making their top tier debuts. For the Gulls, promotion comes after steady progress at the top of Ligg-2, winning two titles in the last three seasons and an impressive run to last year's Skellingkopfinal. Manager Hastein Zelah has impressed with his hard-working in-your-face tactics which demand high levels of fitness and concentration, while a squad built around local favourites Svein Cawrse, Utney Perren, Amiel Jones and Paddack Coffey has been significantly reinforced to ensure top flight churning returns to the town of Gallowsea and stays there. For the Blues and the Reds, their paths to the top have come from much lower in the league, with both these teams emerging from the bottom divisions over time. Arlo Smith-Williams has guided Blue Boys of Innstrand all the way, with a canny policy of signing experienced pros at the back end of their career. He likes his churning fast, furious and athletic, so the Blues will bring plenty of energy guided by much-loved FafFictanian Glloum, in his second spell with the club after a brief and unhappy adventure with Viking. Lamine Togo, now manager of Extramarine, guided Oysterhaven Reds up to the second tier, winning a couple of manager awards along the way as he led the Isle of Skive minnows to a higher position than they had ever been, before jumping ship. But the Reds syndicate board pulled off a mighty coup when they signed controversial Audioslav management pair Escobar de Cabanyas and Davin de Valle - 'Ez & Dav' - who stunningly guided them to third in Ligg-2 and a place at the top table. Where can the former SS Skiveness double title managers take this small club who are just up the road from their old team? Can they really compete with the big boys, and especially with The Herrings who fired Ez & Dav for being just too difficult to work with?


What's In A Name?
Nothing sacred as clubs mess with their title deeds

Supporters of the Mariners were more or less told to lump it four seasons ago when the sleeping giants decided their fortunes might be revived by changing their name to an obscure and short-term historical name that, for a period of months rather than years, preceded the better known Spittalmarine, and became simply Marine. The fans weren’t happy and now they are contending with a second name change already as Marine become Extramarine, infuriating their following by adopting the name of a once-mighty Wightling club long since forgotten in the annals of history. “What the fibula? It makes no sense,” says Mastiff Jones, of the Mariner Supporters Club, “that we have become a tribute act for a dead club from the Old Country. Something’s afoot, for sure…”

“Un-tibia-believable,” adds Cocalas Pink, chairman of the Ancient & Unjustifieds, who lend their support to Athletic St.Leah - né Spit, “I mean, what the actual cocsic?” He’s joining in the barrage of complaints because the oldest team in the country and first champion of the Bonesligg have also changed their name, choosing to reflect the neighbourhood they play in - St.Leah - rather than the short name for the capital city Spittalsea - Spit - in a move which is arguably the direct opposite of what they’ve done down the road at Extramarine: by removing the word ‘Spit’ they have dissociated from the Old Country, from which the name Spit comes. Either way, fans are horrified. “It makes no sense,” agrees Cocalas, “something’s afoot, for sure...”

Perhaps it is. All this talk of Wight...

At the city’s third big club, there is a strong sense of superiority developing: “Once the Boldclub, always the Boldclub!” roars John-Bull Foster of the Green Fairies Firm, supporting mighty Florence Boldclub and stating it plain. “We know who we are, we know who are, we’re the Boldclub in Florence, we know who we are!” he crows.


Birth of The Valkyries
Young Ragnhild Row founds the all-women's churning club

Following her career-ending injury at the tender age of 18 at Viking, highly rated Boneswoman Ragnhild Row, with a great deal of support from her peers around the churning world, has gone on to found the Valkyr Club, based down south in her home town of Tananger, as the first all-women’s churning team. With encouragement from Viking and an offer of a place in the Juvenligg by the Fellowship of The Greasy Churn, the Valkyries are up and running and will take a place in the Sinister (southern) division of the new geographically-organised under-19 national league. Several clubs are apparently jockeying to form a link with the club to take on the best graduates, and Viking would naturally be favourite among them, but so far Ragnhild has resisted and there is speculation she is looking at an all-women’s adult team to compete in the Bonesligg in the future, depending on how the young Valkyries shape up in the Juvenligg. Several junior Boneswomen have already defected from their youth teams to join the Valkyr Club, while rumours report unsigned young women are flocking to Ragnhild’s door for a shot at the team. Presently the whole operation is being run by the young woman on her own, supported by officials at Viking and at Juvenligg team Latiñeros, also based in Tananger and offering a sports club for immigrants from the Latin-Plataforma continent. Toribio Gallo, manager at Latiñeros, and the legendary Viking inside forward Chilli-Bean Acosta are full of praise and advice, and the Valkyr Club are set to share training and matchdays with Latiñeros at Viking’s training and development facilities. Chair of the Narrative Committee and former Cartographer General Donna Maw has accepted the position of Honorary President of the new club, and is allegedly being incredibly influential in securing a groundshare deal at Viking Park for a future adult team to be tenants of Viking Tananger. As in, Viking don’t really have a say in the matter if someone like Donna Maw says it must happen.


Managerial Musical Chairs
Round and round they go... Fistral faces the inevitable

Nothing has been more inevitable in greasy churning than the departure of Fistral McCrary from desperately underperforming Spittalmarine/Marine/Extramarine/Overmarine/Whatevermarine, except perhaps for death, tax avoidance and the generously-proffered humble opinion of Odger Lee, Man of Skiveness. A much-respected stalwart of the game, it was hard for anyone to admit publicly that he had presided in his latter years over the stark decline of the nation’s most successful club. For the last three years or so there has been quiet, polite speculation that the gentleman scholar would step down, because no-one wanted to be on the record as having sacked him. For some time it appeared he would ride it out until retirement unless someone stepped up and fired him. At the Mariners, nobody wanted to do it: so they dropped a massive hint instead. Last season Marine’s feeder club Spartans of Liarby, ostensibly controlled by the same syndicate that runs the Mariners, hired emerging Zenegalese manager Lamine Togo, poaching him from high-rising Oysterhaven Reds and convincing him - somehow - that a step down was a step forward. It was clear to everyone, including it seems gentleman Fistral, that Lamine was being lined up to succeed at Marine. And, taking the hint, dear old Fistral has finally retired. Lamine Togo takes over at the Mariners charged with reviving the fortune of this sleeping giant.

Meanwhile, legendary Bonesea halfback and refugee of Quebec Marouaine ‘Wanger’ Shanty, one season retired from the game after a fantastic career at SS Skiveness, has got bored of being in the television industry (as a salesman at Cuffy Smith’s Hifi Warehouse) and has returned to The Herrings as manager Kenny Rising’s new assistant. Expect shenanigans on the touch line, as Wanger was always among the most ‘passionate’ and most ‘committed’ of players, ‘qualities’ which he is sure to bring to his new job. The Boldsport team are delighted to have him back in the churning business, as they will be down at Driftwood Park.


There's Trouble at Rumour Mill
Political rumblings put clubs in the spotlight

Clubs changing their names? It makes no sense - something must be afoot, for sure...

Some of the more cynical in the Boldsport office are wondering if it is all linked to an ongoing investigation into Binary Opposition involvement in Greasy Churning: the deposed former Narrative Committee, broken up by previous Cartographer General - that's the head of state to you and me - were a bunch of ancient meddlers from the Old Country, and were effectively running the country by proxy. Headed by the dark monk Saligia and the Unholy Trinity of Hassan i Sabbah the Master Assassin, Dr. Herbert West The Reanimator and John of Halifax, the old Narrative Committee are now locked up under luxury house arrest at the Grand Polarian Hotel on Herring Island, where, as the Binary Opposition, they continue their attempts to meddle in the affairs of state and the stories of the nation. Ever vigilant, the House of Bones - that's the government to you and me - are always working hard to disrupt their dubious intentions. It seems, so rumour has it, that the Binary Opposition have been operating a wide range of shady narratives through syndicates in football that they retain voting rights to - at the epicentre, allegedly, are Whelm Town Welfare and Stockett Brigade football clubs, but there is a suggestion this goes right to the top of the Bonesligg: that is to say Extramarine who were Spittalmarine and just Marine until recently, and Athletic St.Leah who were Athletic Spit until recently. So far, the league has been unable to confirm the breadth and depth of infiltration, and nor have the government. But the Fellowship of The Greasy Churn - that's the FA to you and me - have warned there will be sanctions - serious sanctions - if they find out clubs have allowed the Binary Opposition over their thresholds. Watch this space: the league may look very different again next season.


Looking Ahead
Changes On The Horizon

Speaking of things looking very different, clubs are having to plan their transfer activity a little more in advance this season following the ruling on foreign player allocations by the Fellowship. Concerned particularly at the number of foreign types coming in from the Wide Enness Ocean, not to mention around fifty or so from the broader multiverse, the Fellowship wants to make sure that young Bonesmen and women are getting a fair shot at playing time in the top flight, to protect the developing national game which has seen Bonesea march up to eighth in the world rankings. With a plan to win the World Cup by - or preferably in - cycle '83 (to make it look like the Narrative Committee knew in advance what was going to happen) the Fellowship are keen to limit places in the first teams of the top flight, but are also cautious about flooding lower divisions as a consequence. Incoming rules therefore apply to the whole Bonesligg, and will be introduced in a phased process. Next season will permit twelve foreign nationals in the squad team of 25, with a maximum of six from outside the WEO. In season 588 this will reduce to 10 and 5, and in season 589 will come down to 8 and 4. As it stands, four teams are already over the first season target and will need to ship out players, while another four of the 12 current top flight teams, making a total of 8, are over the final target of eight foreign nationals. Look for something of a slow-down in international signings and some shenanigans with dual nationalities, as players holding a Bonesea passport will not count toward the quota even if they don't speak a word of the lingo.


Transfer Talk
All the key moves in one paragraph
OK, four paragraphs, but they are quite short

It was a busy off-season with plenty of movement following a quiet couple of seasons, and the feeling that the traditional stability of the player market had returned has certainly been dispelled this time around. The biggest signing came from two of the least active clubs, as international Jay Witt switched from Grasshoppers to the Boldclub. The other headline-grabbing deals were the exit of two of the league's best players from SS Skiveness. Bonesea national keeper Creddan Pound made a switch across the Isle of Skive to Gymnasia Scold, while Fiakr Le Lay, the club's top scorer last season, moved to the capital to play for Athletic. Both of those switches came out of the blue and have stunned Herrings supporters as a pair of much-loved players. Also in hot water for failing to hang on to fine talent, Extramarine lost up-and-coming halfback Oran Swann who left for Start-93 in a surprise switch, but at least excited fans by signing young Ofra Wickett, the son of Bonesea legend and record scorer Conchobar 'The Conch' Wickett, from Ligg-2 side Whelm Town Welfare.

Relegated Viking were hit with a mass of defections, notably keeper Lamonaco to newly promoted Oysterhaven Reds, Daineri Glloum returning to Blue Boys FF after a season on the south coast, long time defender Eden Visdeloup to SS, and national team striker Proteus to Start. It will be a long season for the Vikings attempting to return to the big time of the top flight with such heavy player losses.

No fewer than eight players were imported from the Makongolese national team that competed in the last World Cup qualifying campaign and the Independents Cup, notably among them the trio of young future stars Essa Bajo, moving from Bjarg in Vaettr to the Boldclub, Tijan Sanyang from his hometown club St.Hellene in Makongo to the Herrings at Skiveness, and Dembo Gassama from Cuvette in Makongo to Athletic St.Leah. Moss and Grasshopper fans will be the most worried, with the latter losing Jay Witt and making no signings, while the Bryophites startling lost four of their top players in EA Skewes to Torpedo, Billy Sweed to Extramarine, Pacifique Kokolo to newly promoted Gullravens and Oyulvur Danjalsson to Blue Boys FF. While they signed young prospect Snorri Jones from Ligg-2's Skelling Club, they look significantly weakened. They were also hit with the retirement of one-club legend Niell Shakesheave, calling it a day after 21 seasons and 609 games for his team. Grasshopper also had a significant retirement in former Bonesea international PM Gyr. Both sides look set for a season of challenges, to say the least.

Four of the Johnny Foreigner Army were on the move in this window, with Daineri Glloum making a return to newly promoted Blue Boys FF, and Sunrisian Cocó being resigned by former managers Ez & Dav at Oysterhaven Reds. After failing to impress at the Boldclub and SS Skiveness, she will be hoping the third bite of the cherry is a success; having been the first woman to play in the modern Bonesligg and leading the way for many others to follow, she really needs a big season to top that achievement, or else be remembered as someone who failed to live up to her potential. Leaving the Boldclub this season is Cocó's fellow Sunrisian Arichi Kunorikato, who signed for Bold Youth at the same time as Cocó and has probably been as underwhelming as she. He goes to Blue Boys with Glloum and a third ex-Boldclub disappointment Renato Moleiro of The Redvale, a fine young player who has not reached his potential either with the Green Fairies or subsequently at Torpedo. He will be looking for a good season alongside former Boldclub team-mate Arichi. Oysterhaven Reds have dipped into the foreign market as they strengthen for a debut season in Ligg-1, signing Abajan trio Nia Xon, Joseph Amé and Serian Osopo, while a fourth, Ulena Asunao signed for second-tier Turbine.


Image
Club By Club

Prospecting For Season 586
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Starling Maw

With automatic relegation, there is no longer the temporary safety blanket of the cumulative promotion/relegation ruling in which teams could start off the season knowing that there would be no relegation in that season, depending on the circumstances lower down the league. But now, the team that finishes bottom will be out, come what may. The three promoted teams from the expansion process, Gullravens, Blue Boys and Oysterhaven Reds will all be looking to avoid an immediate drop, while Grasshoppers have been declining in recent seasons. Unbelievable though it is to speculate, could the impossible happen and the giant Extramarine go down? They have never been outside the top flight but have been on the wane for some time - but they have signed a new manager and will hope Lamine Togo can start to turn around their fortunes. All to play for at the top with UICA qualification at stake this season - Florence Boldclub have a habit of messing up in the all-important 'fourth season' which is when UICA qualification usually becomes the prize, and they will be looking for a first champions cup place by retaining the Bonesligg title won be debut manager Piper Doughty last season. Look to the usual suspects of SS Skiveness and Athletic to resist, while a good bet for breaking the trio's strangle hold on the competition over recent seasons will be Gymnasia - they have a fine team under Wellard Corfe with the most Bonesea internationals playing in the side; Wellard has quietly crafted a team to dominate, and this could be their season.


Image


Image
Champions – Florence Boldclub
Manager: Piper Doughty
Captain: Loze Cotterill
Star: Erik Marlowe (NPH)
Fans’ Hero: Asteróide (DAI)
Watch For: Essa Bajo (18, MAK)

In: Jay Witt (Grasshopper Club), Essa Bajo (MAK)(Bjarg Dalbraut - VAE)
Out: Arichi Kunorikato (USI, Blue Boys FF)
Retired: Talek Nicholls (32), Lochlann Littlecrake (24 - injured)

Prediction: 5th
The Green Faeries won their thirteenth title last time out in a strangely unpredictable season; it wasn't the most dominant of championships but they all count. With a three season transfer embargo finally lifted, manager Piper Doughty could have gone wild in the transfer market, but has definitely gone for quantity over quality with two good signings in the Makongolese starlet Essa Bajo and one of the best domestic signings of the season in Jay Witt - it is hard to imagine how Grasshopper could let him go. That said, other teams have recruited heavily and it looks like the Boldclub will do their usual thing and mess up in a UICA season - we predict they will miss out entirely.


Image
2nd - Gymnasia Scold
Manager: Wellard Corfe
Captain: Creddan Pound
Star: Ogma Codd
Fans’ Hero: Skua Ortiz
Watch For: Quintus Jones (19)

In: Creddan Pound (SS Skiveness), Lavrean Churn (1.FC Tocklehove), Quintus Jones (Academical)
Out: Cerebral Siskin (Torpedo Spitney)
Retired: Shihab Ibn al-Hasan (27 - injured)

Prediction: Champions
Undoubtedly the signing of the window was Creddan Pound to Gymnasia, and could well be the final piece in the puzzle to give the Gym their first title since '54, three decades ago. Wellard Corfe has been working tirelessly toward this, and with retirement surely not far off, he will want to make this one count.


Image
3rd – SS Skiveness
Manager: Kenny Rising
Captain: Rémi Fofana (WEO-ZEN)
Star: Ursell Grayse-Lennox
Fans’ Hero: Piet Masschelin (VDG)
Watch For: Tijan Sanyang (18, MAK)

In: Eden Visdeloup (Viking Tananger), Tijan Sanyang (MAK)(Saint Hellene de Enzé, MAK)
Out: Creddan Pound (Gymnasia Scold), Fiakr Le Lay (SEP, Athletic), Arthgallo Lock (Gullravens FC)
Retired: -

Prediction: 2nd
Despite the surprise transfer out of two key players in Creddan Pund and Fiakr Le Lay, the Herrings still look a tough prospect and coach Kenny Rising will be keen to regain the title he won in his first season in management, and with ex-managers Ez & Dav back on the scene up the road at Oysterhaven, the whole club is looking to remind the upstart Reds who rules the roost on the Isle of Skive. They'll have forgotten about the Gym though, and will come in second behind their other near neighbours.


Image
4th – Start-93
Manager: Buccus Hike
Captain: KG McKinley
Star: Tryggve Axelsson (USI)
Fans’ Hero: Duald Dunbar
Watch For: Gunna Capsize (18)

In: Proteus (Viking Tananger), Oran Swan (Extramarine), Gunna Capsize (Stockett Brigade), Vulpine Hughes (Crows Club),
Out: Mamadou Ibrahima (ZEN, Blue Boys FF)
Retired: -

Prediction: 3rd
The Geese are an up-and-down team under the talented Buccus Hike, regularly defying expectations to finish in the top three and then deflating shortly afterward. With some very good signings in Proteus from Viking and Oran Swan from the Mariners, expect this to be one of their better seasons, and another UICA qualification from Start-93.


Image
5th – Moss FC
Manager: Camillo Jones
Captain: Lyne Varanasi
Star: Ruben Roche
Fans’ Hero: Cloudsley Shovel
Watch For: Peiros Mankey (19)

In: Snorri Jones (Skelling Club), Etienne Morris (Spartans FF Liarby)
Out: EA Skewes (Torpedo Spitney), Billy Sweed (Extramarine), Pacifique Kokolo (Gullravens FC), Oyulvur Danjalsson (Blue Boys FF),
Retired: Mithian Gibson (25, injured), Niell Shakesheave (36)

Prediction: 11th
Comfortable in mid-table for a number of seasons, the Bryophytes have lost no less than four key players this season after losing their two best players last time around, and that's without the retirements of two who featured regularly in the starting line-up. Losing hero EA Skewes to Torpedo and captain Mithian Gibson to early retirement through injury, their fans must be despairing of the lack of ambition from the former four-time champion of Bonesea, who look like they may be in the relegation shake-up at the end of the season.


Image
6th – Athletic St.Leah
Manager: Ruan Buzzard
Captain: Nobb Jones
Star: Reskadinnick Jones
Fans’ Hero: Donkey Ray Harton
Watch For: Itxaro Poldice (18)

In: Dembo Gassama (MAK, FC Cuvette), Fiakr Le Lay (SEP, SS Skiveness)
Out: -
Retired: -

Prediction: 4th
Despite a relatively quiet transfer window and a stable team, Ruan Buzzard's Athletic were disappointing last time around and look like they will fail to excite again this time. With the elder Jones brothers coming to the end of their careers, and a lot of stars underperforming last time out, it fell to the seventh son, Cade Jones, to provide all of the excitement. He can't do it on his own though and another season of underachievement looks likely for The Ancients. They will probably just about make the UICA places, at a pinch.


Image
7th – Torpedo Spitney
Manager: Mulfra Gerbino
Captain: Riaz Yuhanna Teke (WEO-BBS)
Star: Thrand Minkoff
Fans’ Hero: Hrut Smith
Watch For: Dynamene Lambert (19)

In: EA Skewes (Moss FC), Cerebral Siskin (Gymnasia Scold)
Out: Renato Moliero (RED, Blue Boys FF)
Retired: -

Prediction: 8th
Torpedo have built a solid reputation in the top flight under Mulfra Gerbino but have struggled to recover from missing out on the title on the last day two seasons ago, and were poor last season when a response was needed. They will do better this time and have signed two fine players in Skewes & Siskin, but don't expect miracles. Mid-table will be an improvement on last time and a small step in the right direction.


Image
8th – Extramarine
Manager: Lamine Togo
Captain: Nacho Zambrano (WEO-TAM)
Star: Rebbe Gyr
Fans’ Hero: Godfrey Jones
Watch For: Ofra Wickett (18)

In: Lamine Togo (Manager, ZEN, from Spartans FF Liarby), Billy Sweed (Moss FC), Ofra Wickett (Whelm Town Welfare)
Out: Oran Swan (Start-93), Mandible Carne (Gullravens FC)
Retired: Fistral McCrary (65, manager)

Prediction: 9th
Could they drop? Could it finally happen? At Boldsport we probably would've said so had they not replaced poor old gentleman Fistral McCrary, who looked like he'd lost the will to manage over recent seasons. In Lamine Togo they may have found a hungry coach who can return them to winning ways, although he's going to need a couple of seasons to stop the rot. Even so, they should be safe - just.


Image
9th – Grasshopper Club
Manager: Otteran ‘Otter’ Harrigan
Captain: Adama Koné (WEO-MK)
Star: Seb Harrigan
Fans’ Hero: Mika Paprika (USI)
Watch For: Sprocket Jones (17)

In: -
Out: Jay Witt (Florence Boldclub),
Retired: PM Gyr (35)

Prediction: 12th
For some time now the Grasshopper syndicate has been treading water, hardly even refreshing a squad which a few seasons ago looked like it might challenge for the title but has now very much run out of steam. One of their few bright spots was international forward Jay Witt, and now he has gone. A lot of very good individuals do not a team make, and this is very much the case for Grasshoppers. They could well find themselves down by the end of the season.


Image
Ligg-2 Champions – Gullravens
Manager: Hastein Zelah
Captain: Pacifique Kokolo (ZEN)
Star: Paddack Coffey
Fans’ Hero: Paddack Coffey
Watch For: Cini Argall (16)

In: Pacifique Kokolo (Moss FC), Arthgallo Lock (SS Skiveness), Mandible Carne (Extramarine), David Whitley (USI, Project +90 EUR), Musa Mbye (MAK, SC Bravo Valencia IPN), Alifa Dieye (MAK, NK Mannaeyjar VAE), Pascoe Johnson (Skelling Club), Dim Bustard (Rapid FF Kells)
Out: -
Retired: -

Prediction: 10th
The Gulls have been throwing their weight around in the lower division for a few seasons and finally got their reward with automatic promotion following their second Ligg-2 title in three seasons, not to mention a Skellingkopfinal appearance. They will find the going tough of course and have recruited heavily, notably the fine signing of Pacifique Kokolo, the Zenegalese from Moss FC, and striker Arthgallo Lock from the Herrings. Expect a season of struggle, but they will settle for 11th and we predict they may do slightly better.


Image
Ligg-2 Runners-up – Blue Boys FF
Manager: Arlo Smith-Williams
Captain: Glloum (FAF)
Star: Renato Moliero (RED)
Fans’ Hero: Hendra 'Hippo' Dipper
Watch For: Gorm Cannon (19)

In: Glloum (Viking Tananger), Renato Moliero (RED, Torpedo Spitney), Oyulvur Danjalsson (Moss FC), Mamadou Ibrahima (ZEN, Start-93), Jordi Spanya (SAN, Armed Forces MRC), Oxto Oliviera (CPV, Elspachia MRC), Arichi Kunorikato (USI, Florence Boldclub), Lalo Kinte (MAK, Ajax de Tsamorena MAK), Daba Sene (MAK, AS Taal MAK)
Out: -
Retired: -

Prediction: 6th
Arlo Smith-Williams is a wily old fox of a coach and has raised the club from Innstrand out of the depths of the lower leagues to a place at the top table, and deservedly so. He has an eye for a good transfer, and apparently a bit of a silver tongue as he has always managed to convince decent players to sign for the small club. This season Renato Moliero and Oyulvur Danjalsson are two very decent players who have been persuaded, along with a clutch of foreigners. Expect The Boys to impress.


Image
Ligg-2 promoted (3rd) – Oysterhaven Reds
Manager: Escobar de Cabanyas & Davin de Valle
Captain: Tongan Murray
Star: Junior Abessou (ZEN)
Fans’ Hero: Radoslaw Hanak (ZZR)
Watch For: Pluto Blinkman (17, APX)

In: Cocó (SS Skiveness), Lamonaco (Viking Tananger), Cortysyn (DAI, Zholvi Athletic), Nia Xon, Serian Osopo & Joseph Amé (Abaja), Boto Biri (MAK, Sogobe Embankment ZEN), Faolan MacAomalain (SKO, Athletic), Eméric Forge (SEP, Banners FC Skiveness)
Out: -
Retired: -

Prediction: 7th
You wouldn't give the Reds a cats chance in Gregorystan if it wasn't for the management team. They shouldn't even be this high up the league - Lamine Togo did a fine job getting them to the second tier and establishing them, now the Audioslavs have taken them to the next level. Skilled management and some very astute signings means they should be looking forward to an interesting season in Oysterhaven. And with the young Apoxi starlet commanding the defense, anything could happen. And probably will.
Last edited by Bonesea on Fri Aug 25, 2017 10:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-586 Round-Up

Postby Bonesea » Sat Aug 26, 2017 1:28 am

Image

Image
Season SB-586

Stat Summary
By Boldsport number cruncher, Forgael Whitethrush

My esteemed colleagues Dub Meadows, Starling Maw and Johnny Foreigner will give you the analysis in the next post: I don't do the colour, just the numbers. What I can tell you is...



Image
. Bonesligg-One Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 SS Skiveness 22 14 3 5 64 34 +30 45 UICA-CC
2 Oysterhaven Reds 22 10 6 6 64 47 +17 36 UICA-GC
3 Florence Boldclub 22 9 6 7 46 43 +3 33 UICA-GC
4 Athletic St.Leah 22 9 5 8 52 55 −3 32 UICA-GC
5 Torpedo Spitney 22 9 4 9 42 49 −7 31
6 Blue Boys FF 22 7 8 7 32 36 −4 29
7 Extramarine 22 6 10 6 51 48 +3 28
8 Gullravens FC 22 8 4 10 39 49 −10 28
9 Moss FC 22 6 7 9 41 46 −5 25
10 Gymnasia Scold 22 6 7 9 48 61 −13 25
11 Start-93 22 7 3 12 49 54 −5 24
12 Grasshopper Club 22 5 9 8 43 49 −6 24 Relegated


Image
. Bonesligg-Two Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Viking Tananger 22 10 8 4 52 30 +22 38 UICA-SBCC & promoted
2 Fishers Grimsea 22 10 5 7 41 32 +9 35 UICA-SBCC
3 Skelling Club 22 10 4 8 51 35 +16 34 UICA-SBCC
4 Turbine FF Gallowsea 22 9 7 6 43 40 +3 34
5 Combine Tamness-Nordby 22 9 5 8 49 48 +1 32
6 Industrial Amblesea 22 9 5 8 48 52 −4 32
7 1.FC Tocklehove 22 8 7 7 43 43 0 31
8 Spartans FF Liarby 22 7 7 8 42 46 −4 28
9 Whelm Town Welfare 22 7 6 9 39 44 −5 27
10 1.FC Bøe 22 6 8 8 40 45 −5 26
11 Celtic Skein 22 6 7 9 39 46 −7 25 Relegated
12 Tundra Axle FC 22 2 9 11 29 55 −26 15 Relegated

Image
. Bonesligg-Three Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Guillemots 22 10 8 4 44 28 +16 38 Promoted
2 Stockett Brigade 22 10 8 4 43 35 +8 38 Promoted
3 Academical 22 10 7 5 45 40 +5 37
4 Crows Club 22 7 12 3 48 41 +7 33
5 Turbine Moss FF 22 9 4 9 35 29 +6 31
6 Irsha-57 SK 22 7 9 6 33 29 +4 30
7 Rapid FF Kells 22 6 11 5 39 33 +6 29
8 Armada Club 22 7 8 7 47 42 +5 29
9 St. Leah Gaels 22 6 7 9 36 47 −11 25
10 Rangers Tocklehove FF 22 5 7 10 32 45 −13 22
11 Kickers FF Sand 22 4 7 11 42 56 −14 19 Relegated
12 17.FF Tolling 22 3 8 11 22 41 −19 17 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Four Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Hearts AFC 22 13 5 4 55 30 +25 44 Promoted
2 East Spit Casuals FC 22 10 8 4 53 34 +19 38 Promoted
3 Otters Club 22 10 6 6 44 33 +11 36
4 Blackskull Club 22 10 2 10 38 39 −1 32
5 Washaway FC 22 9 4 9 35 32 +3 31
6 Banners FC Skiveness 22 8 7 7 38 44 −6 31
7 Skullion FF 22 8 6 8 26 27 −1 30
8 Penchant & District 22 9 3 10 31 36 −5 30
9 Aero Fennby 22 8 5 9 28 33 −5 29
10 Herring Club 22 7 5 10 33 39 −6 26
11 Dogside Works FF 22 4 9 9 14 29 −15 21 Relegated
12 Club Zenega 22 4 4 14 22 41 −19 16 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Five Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Omnibus Athletic 22 10 9 3 51 34 +17 39 Promoted
2 Olympic Gallowsea 22 10 6 6 29 25 +4 36 Promoted
3 Union Skive 22 9 8 5 45 31 +14 35
4 Bonesea Air Force Club 22 9 8 5 31 25 +6 35
5 Slatterness Amateur 22 9 7 6 36 33 +3 34
6 Mosquitos 22 8 6 8 25 28 −3 30
7 FC Harbourwights 22 8 5 9 26 33 −7 29
8 Nordfold Browns 22 7 7 8 31 26 +5 28
9 Bannerclub Clun 22 8 4 10 34 39 −5 28
10 Spittal County 22 8 3 11 36 36 0 27
11 Viking Spit SK 22 6 7 9 31 45 −14 25
12 Florentine Rose 22 2 6 14 14 34 −20 12 Rubbishpoon


Cumulative Re-election Record
Bonesligg-5 Rubbishpoon

586 Florentine Rose
585 FC Harbourwights*
584 FC Harbourwights
583 Washaway FC
582 FC Harbourwights

* Avoided re-election due to league expansion. FC Harbourwights will face re-election if they finish bottom in SB-587


Image

Skellingkop-1 

Academical 3–0 Moss Whalers
Skullion FF 0–1 Oyna & Gritting Combine
Tolga Maroons 0–0 Angaby FF (1–0 AET)
Blackskull Club 3–1 AirBone SSC
Bannerclub Clun 5–5 Banners FC Skiveness (6–5 AET)
Viking Hallingby SK 2–1 Saltby Town
1.FC Bøe 11–1 Rise Thistle
Terrier Club 0–1 SSC Ringdale
FTK Whelm 0–2 SS Spittalsea
Gargantua 1–1 SS Hammerdale (2–1 AET)
Sandness FC 0–1 Nordfold Browns
Scotvik FF 0–0 Union Skive (0–1 AET)
Celtic Skein 1–1 Armada Club (2–1 AET)
Neskullen Argyle 0–3 Captain Amble FC
Herring Club 0–0 Gullravens FC (0–0 AET) (5–6 pen.)
Admiral Cossentine 3–8 SS Skiveness
Spittal County 4–6 Athletic St.Leah
Spit Whistle Club 0–0 Dogside Works FF (0–0 AET) (0–3 pen.)
Clunwardine Leopard 2–1 Bonesea Mountain Rescue AC
Torpedo Spitney 4–1 Solomon FC
Gymnasia Scold 3–1 Combined Varsity Athletics Union
Stingrays 1–2 Hearts AFC
SS Skaya 0–3 Spartans FF Liarby
Gullmarket Isambards 3–2 Red Orca
Stockett Brigade 1–0 Washaway FC
Tundra Axle FC 6–1 Spit City
Olympic Gallowsea 2–0 FC Berserkr
Crows Club 8–3 Mosquitos
Florentine Rose 1–2 FC Harbourwights
Club Zenega 5–1 United Altafriqana
Bonesea Air Force Club 1–3 Grasshopper Club
St. Leah Gaels 4–0 Tundra FC
Guillemots 1–0 Refugee Club
Vetting Islanders 0–0 Murrow FC (1–0 AET)
Otters Club 1–3 Aero Fennby
Rangers Tocklehove FF 4–1 Crabbers Club
Battalion 1–1 Moss Thistle FC (2–1 AET)
Strand Rose 1–3 Rapid FF Kells
East Spit Casuals FC 4–4 Discordian Wanderers (4–4 AET) (6–5 pen.)
Florence Boldclub 2–0 Scold Thunder FC
Omnibus Athletic 1–0 Whelm Town Welfare
17.FF Tolling 2–0 Heralds Club
Turbine FF Gallowsea 3–0 Bleary Athletic
Industrial Amblesea 0–4 Oysterhaven Reds
Coffin Island Rangers 0–1 UZZZR Exiles Club
Combine Tamness-Nordby 5–1 Slatterness Amateur
Irsha-57 SK 3–0 Celts Club
Gargoyles Club 6–3 Shale Athletics Union
Blue Boys FF 0–0 Tamarindian Club (3–0 AET)
Skelling Club 1–0 Tugboat Marines FC
Skullharrow Jets 1–3 Dockyard Peloton
Bonehouse Violet 2–1 Fishers Grimsea
Tolling Orient 3–1 SCB-Alliance
Orchids 0–1 Penchant & District
Combine FF Pikefells 1–1 Turbine Moss FF (1–3 AET)
Basques 1–1 Spite Rovers (1–1 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Hemness Nuclear 0–0 Mission Sparta (0–0 AET) (5–4 pen.)
Viking Tananger 0–1 Extramarine
Start-93 3–1 Gannet FC
Golden Lion 2–1 Dial Tavern Brawlers
Tunns Club 1–0 Lundsea Pier FC
1.FC Tocklehove 1–1 Moss FC (1–1 AET) (2–3 pen.)
Viking Spit SK 2–0 Gallowsea Ramblers
Longby SS 0–1 Kickers FF Sand

Skellingkop-2

Crows Club 3–5 Extramarine
Battalion 2–2 Tolling Orient (3–3 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Skelling Club 4–0 Viking Hallingby SK
Nordfold Browns 3–0 Kickers FF Sand
Rangers Tocklehove FF 3–0 17.FF Tolling
Olympic Gallowsea 0–4 Turbine FF Gallowsea
Torpedo Spitney 3–1 FC Harbourwights
1.FC Bøe 0–2 Rapid FF Kells
Bonehouse Violet 0–4 Blue Boys FF
Gullravens FC 3–5 Stockett Brigade
Captain Amble FC 3–1 Hearts AFC
East Spit Casuals FC 4–4 Tunns Club (4–4 AET) (3–4 pen.)
UZZZR Exiles Club 1–3 Viking Spit SK
Penchant & District 1–1 Union Skive (1–1 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Grasshopper Club 1–0 Gymnasia Scold
Turbine Moss FF 5–1 Hemness Nuclear
Club Zenega 1–5 St. Leah Gaels
Academical 1–0 Blackskull Club
Oysterhaven Reds 3–1 SS Spittalsea
Gullmarket Isambards 2–0 Tolga Maroons
SS Skiveness 9–1 Dockyard Peloton
Celtic Skein 3–0 Guillemots
Moss FC 8–5 Aero Fennby
SSC Ringdale 1–3 Dogside Works FF
Athletic St.Leah 3–5 Florence Boldclub
Spite Rovers 0–3 Spartans FF Liarby
Combine Tamness-Nordby 3–3 Start-93 (3–3 AET) (5–4 pen.)
Gargantua 1–1 Vetting Islanders (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Irsha-57 SK 0–0 Omnibus Athletic (0–0 AET) (0–2 pen.)
Golden Lion 0–0 Bannerclub Clun (0–0 AET) (3–1 pen.)
Tundra Axle FC 2–1 Clunwardine Leopard
Gargoyles Club 2–1 Oyna & Gritting Combine

Skellingkop-3

Oysterhaven Reds 3–0 Gargoyles Club
Turbine FF Gallowsea 0–0 Viking Spit SK (0–0 AET) (3–0 pen.)
Rapid FF Kells 1–3 SS Skiveness
Tundra Axle FC 3–1 Captain Amble FC
Skelling Club 3–1 Union Skive
Stockett Brigade 0–7 Extramarine
Battalion 0–4 St. Leah Gaels
Blue Boys FF 8–0 Golden Lion
Combine Tamness-Nordby 3–1 Torpedo Spitney
Grasshopper Club 1–3 Nordfold Browns
Celtic Skein 3–1 Spartans FF Liarby
Gargantua 0–2 Dogside Works FF
Florence Boldclub 6–0 Gullmarket Isambards
Academical 1–5 Moss FC
Omnibus Athletic 1–0 Turbine Moss FF
Rangers Tocklehove FF 2–1 Tunns Club

Skellingkop-4

Oysterhaven Reds 7–1 Turbine FF Gallowsea
SS Skiveness 0–1 Tundra Axle FC
Skelling Club 4–8 Extramarine
St. Leah Gaels 3–3 Blue Boys FF (3–3 AET) (2–1 pen.)
Combine Tamness-Nordby 3–3 Nordfold Browns (4–3 AET)
Celtic Skein 0–1 Dogside Works FF
Florence Boldclub 0–7 Moss FC
Omnibus Athletic 0–0 Rangers Tocklehove FF (0–1 AET)

Skellingkop-5

Oysterhaven Reds 4–4 Tundra Axle FC (4–4 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Extramarine 6–0 St. Leah Gaels
Combine Tamness-Nordby 0–3 Dogside Works FF
Moss FC 9–1 Rangers Tocklehove FF

Skellingkop-6

Oysterhaven Reds 1–1 Extramarine (2–1 AET)
Dogside Works FF 3–0 Moss FC

Skellingkopfinal

Oysterhaven Reds 3–1 Dogside Works FF


Image
Juvenligg-N Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Orphanage FC 24 12 4 8 62 49 +13 40
2 Gulls u19 24 9 10 5 49 46 +3 37
3 Chavo 24 9 9 6 57 41 +16 36
4 Start u19 24 10 5 9 66 37 +29 35
5 Young Refugees FC 24 7 8 9 33 44 −11 29
6 Grasshopper u19 24 7 7 10 39 66 −27 28
7 Young Fishers 24 5 7 12 45 68 −23 22

Image
Juvenligg-E Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Junior Blues 24 15 2 7 59 40 +19 47
2 Young Offenders FC 24 13 5 6 67 38 +29 44
3 Red Boys 24 12 5 7 55 28 +27 41
4 Gymnasia u19 24 11 5 8 57 40 +17 38
5 Orient 24 10 5 9 50 42 +8 35
6 Celtic u19 24 4 5 15 23 79 −56 17
7 Amblesea Juniors 24 3 5 16 24 68 −44 14

Image
Juvenligg-S Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Latiñeros 24 20 0 4 78 20 +58 60
2 Juvenil 24 14 6 4 70 42 +28 48
3 Viking Youth 24 15 3 6 53 28 +25 48
4 Valkyr SK 24 12 2 10 43 34 +9 38
5 Combine u19 24 4 8 12 27 42 −15 20
6 Young Kickers 24 4 3 17 22 63 −41 15
7 Sparta 24 3 2 19 24 88 −64 11

Image
Juvenligg-W Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Young Folk FC 24 13 5 6 69 43 +26 44
2 Rigger Monkeys 24 12 7 5 59 39 +20 43
3 Ocean Cadets 24 8 11 5 42 34 +8 35
4 Bold Youth 24 10 5 9 41 43 −2 35
5 Turbine u19 24 7 7 10 57 67 −10 28
6 Torpedo Juniors 24 6 8 10 44 52 −8 26
7 Washaway Juniors 24 4 5 15 22 56 −34 17


Image
Semi-Finals

Latiñeros 0-4 Orphanage FC 0-1 0-3
Junior Blues 3-6 Young Folk FC 0-1 3-5

Juvenliggfinal .

Orphanage FC 4-4a Young Folk FC 3-3 1-1
Last edited by Bonesea on Sun Aug 27, 2017 1:55 am, edited 5 times in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-586 Review

Postby Bonesea » Sun Aug 27, 2017 1:39 am

Image

Image
Reds & Herrings

Bonesligg-586: The Season In Review
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Dub Meadows
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

Following the last-day drama of last season in which three teams with a shot at the title all lost on the final day to allow Florence Boldclub to take the crown, this season was more of a stroll for returning champions SS Skiveness who finished nine points clear of the pack for their eleventh title, moving them to within one championship of equalling the mighty Marine for second place in the history of the Bonesligg. History will note Kenny Rising's team as the dominant force of the season, with players Ursell Grayse-Lennox, Jose Enrique, Toll Gurvey and young Makongolese Tijan Sanyang making a clean sweep of the players awards, and it is fair to say they were head and shoulders above the rest. But if you were there you will perhaps come away thinking this was 'Ez & Davs' season, an Oysterhaven season, after the team just up the road from the Herrings finished second in their debut season and went on to win the Skellingkop, qualifying them for both the Globe and Cygnus Cups in a remarkable rise.

The Kop provided its fair share of shocks, not least Ligg-4 strugglers Dogside Works becoming the lowest ranked team to reach the final, winning more times in the Kop than they managed in 22 Ligg games.


Image
Bonesligg Champions

SS Skiveness
Ursell Back To His Best As Herrings Dominate


While a lot of the talk in churning was of the impressive return to the top division of former Herrings managers Escobar de Cabanyas and Davin de Valle at Oysterhaven Reds, the real action was going on 20km down the road in Skiveness, where SS dominated the Ligg season from start to finish and looked perhaps the best team in Bonesea for some time under Kenny Rising, a former player and coach under Ez & Dav. Starting with a fine 6-2 win at champions Florence Boldclub in the season curtain-raiser to clinch the traditional Extrakop - played as the first league match of the season between reigning champion (home) and Kop winner (away), followed by a 1-0 home win over debutants Blue Boys FF, the Herrings were clear leaders by week 2 and hardly skipped a beat all the way to the end. A three-match losing streak at the midway point saw them caught by Athletic St. Leah, but by week 16 they were back at the front of the pack and opened a nine-point winning margin by the end of the season to stroll to the title.

After finishing third and winning the Skellingkop the previous season, coach Kenny Rising did not feel the need to strengthen dramatically, but made two crucial signings by bringing in Vikings' wantaway centre back Eden Visdeloup and impressive young winger Tijan Sanyang who had impressed, at 17, in World Cup qualifying for Makongo. Visdeloup proved to be a solid and reliable signing boosting already decent options with Larrick Jones-Gummo and Talan Thornton to bolster an impressive defence, but Tijan Sanyang proved to be a sensation. He not only had a great season himself, but in pairing up with Jose Enrique to the inside of him, he helped take the Sunrisian to another level as he won the Johnny Foreigner award. Both made the Ligg-1 team of the season along with a revived Ursell Grayse-Lennox and the ever consistent Piet Masschelin, who both benefitted enormously from the almost psychic build-up partnership of Jose and Tijan. The other moves made in the market by Kenny Rising were the surprise releases of national team keeper Creddan Pound and last season's top scorer Fiakr le Lay, to Gymnasia Scold and Athletic respectively. The moves raised many eyebrows and the Humble Opinion of Odger Lee, Man of Skiveness and Herrings supporter, was that this was a terrible lapse of judgement. As it happens, Toll Gurvey stepped up to replace Creddan Pound and won the Golden Glove award for his efforts, while Ursell Grayse-Lennox won the Fellows Award for player of the season and the Golden Boot to boot. The departing pair were hardly missed. With Tijan Sanyang winning the Young Fella Award for young player of the season, SS Skiveness players won a clean sweep of the awards to underline just how impressive this team is. Only Ez & Dav spoiled the awards ceremony for SS, winning the Argånger Award for manager of the season for their exploits in bringing up a tiny team, finishing second and winning the Kop.

With canny moves in the transfer market, Kenny Rising also impressed with his committment to youth - something which the board felt was lacking with Ez & Dav and contributed to their sacking - as a number of young prospects impressed, and the top 3 places in the Young Fella Award went to SS players - Tijan winning, Wightling William Dodson, 20, taking second and keeper Alexo Gorria, of Al Azar, 19, coming third. But there were also impressive performances from Yoann Drezen (Septen Islands, 18) and Chabier Gironella (Tamarindia, 19) while a number of youngsters out on loan look hopeful to return and contribute, including Bane Smith, Kaiser Hildebrand and Tuelmenna Smith who have all played for the national junior teams. Ez & Dav may have grabbed the headlines, but King Kenny is building a dynasty at SS Skiveness and they look hard to topple. Next up - UICA. Can SS make a dent in global club football?


Ez & Dav's Oysterhaven Reds were a breath of fresh air in the division, starting strong with an 8-game unbeaten run that included a 2-2 draw at rivals SS Skiveness in week 6. By the halfway point they were neatly placed in fourth having lost only twice, to the Boldclub and Athletic, and had proven a handful for most of the league. Pluto Blinkman was already emerging, at only 17, as one of the standout players in the league and former SS defender Eméric Forge, a forgotten man at lowly Banners FC Skiveness after being released by The Herrings, was proving to be a canny signing who had come into his own. He of course had played with Ez & Dav at SS along with Cocó and Junior Abessou, and the Audioslav management were getting the best out of all three. Following a 3-1 win in Innstrand over Blue Boys FF on matchday 15, the Reds went top of the table on goal difference from Athletic and SS Skiveness, a moment for Reds supporters to savour. It didn't last long - they were pounded 1-7 at home the following week by Torpedo Spitney, bottom of the table but about to go on a run that would lift them into 5th by the end. The Reds dropped to 2nd but stayed there, recovering well to hold on to an impressive runners-up spot in their first season in the top flight.

Florence Boldclub and Athletic St.Leah, née Spit, won the other UICA spots in the league while Grasshopper Club succumbed to the inevitable and relegation after a bit of a decline in recent seasons. Torpedo Spitney narrowly missed out on a UICA place while newly promoted sides Gullravens and especially Blue Boys FF both impressed in parts for comfortable mid-table finishes. Lamine Togo's complete rebuild at Extramarine née Marine née Spittalmarine started as well as can be expected - they were serious candidates for relegation in most people's eyes but managed a reasonable 7th placed finish. Gymnasia Scold and Start-93, both with reputations for being up-and-down clubs, were surprisingly on the downward lee this season when many had predicted good things for them, with Gymnasia especially fancied for the title.

Viking Tananger have done what in recent times Turbine FF Gallowsea and 1.FC Tocklehove have failed to do by claiming a return to the top tier at the first attempt - although in truth neither had the option to return immediately with the cumulative promotion system in place. But that aside, both have struggled to impress in the second tier, The Tockles especially, and that is an indicator that it is not an easy division to get out of. To achieve it having lost several key players is a credit to coach Buzza McCarthy and team captain Chilli-Bean Acosta, the national legend, who has said he will play one last season in the top flght in an attempt to consolidate back at the top before retiring. That will be a blow to the Vikings and the Viking supporters. Fishers Grimsea, after a period in the doldrums, seem back to their best and will be disappointed they were beaten to the punch, but look a good bet for next season, while Selling Club sprung a bit of a surprise in coming third, thanks in large part to the performances of Sunrisian Scott Balde and Tamarindian Montez de la Cruz who have brought some class to proceedings under former Boldclub manager Boyet Rogers. Guillemots return to the second tier after a three-season absence while Hearts AFC are going well in rebuilding from a double drop to win the Ligg-4 title. Two former national champions in terminal decline become the first ex-champs to drop into the fourth tier, as Kickers FF Sand and 17.FF Tolling both drop. Kop finalists Dogside Works drop into the basement along with Club Zenega. Meanwhile in the largely new Ligg-5 two sides promoted in the expansion from the Spittaligg, Omnibus Athletic and Olympic Gallowsea win promotion while experienced Bonesligg campaigners and whipping boys Harbourwights and Bannerclub Clun watch on enviously. They were unable to make any impression on all the new teams competing in that division to finish 7th and 9th respectively.


Awards & Records
Season-586

Champions:	SS Skiveness (11th title)
Runners-Up: Oysterhaven Reds
Third Place: Florence Boldclub

Kop Winners: Oysterhaven Reds (1st title & final)
Runners-Up: Dogside Works FF (1st final)

UICA Qualifications

Champions Cup: SS Skiveness
Globe Cup: Oysterhaven Reds
Florence Boldclub
Athletic St. Leah
UICA-SBCC: Viking Tananger
Fishers Grimsea
Skelling Club
Cygnus Cup: Oysterhaven Reds

ExtraKop-587: SS Skiveness vs. Oysterhaven Reds
(Super Cup season opener)

Lower Ligg Champions

Bonesligg-2: Viking Tananger
Bonesligg-3: Guillemots
Bonesligg-4: Hearts AFC
Bonesligg-5: Omnibus Athletic
Spittaligg-A: SCB-Alliance

National Youth League
Juvenligg-1: Young Folk FC
Juvenligg-2: Orphanage FC

Player Awards

Fellows Award: Ursell Grayse-Lennox (SS Skiveness)
(Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Tijan Sanyang (MAK)(SS Skiveness)
Third Place: Cade Jones (Athletic St.Leah)

Bonesligg-2: Midezi (MZY) (Viking Tananger)
Bonesligg-3: Hákun Finsen (TXH) (Guillemots)
Bonesligg-4: Samson de Syngleton (Hearts AFC)
Bonesligg-5: Ludowanus Gull (Omnibus Athletic)

J.Foreigner: Jose Enrique (USI)(SS Skiveness)
(Foreign Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Piet Masschelin (VLG)(SS Skiveness)
Third Place: Pluto Blinkman (APX)(Oysterhaven Reds)

Golden Boot: Ursell Grayse-Lennox (SS Skiveness) 21 goals
Runner-Up: Cade Jones (Athletic St.Leah) 18

Bonesligg-2: Midezi (MZY) (Viking Tananger) 18
Bonesligg-3: Vojislav Pitalesharo (Crows Club) 20
Bonesligg-4: PG Dyson (Hearts AFC) 19
Bonesligg-5: Badara Mangane (Omnibus Athletic) 21

Golden Glove: Toll Gurvey (SS Skiveness)
Runner-Up: Jordi Spanya (SAN) (Blue Boys FF)

Bonesligg-2: Yanis de Looff (SEP)(Viking Tananger)
Bonesligg-3: Hákun Finsen (TXH)(Guillemots)
Bonesligg-4: Donation Ball (WGT)(Skullion FF)
Bonesligg-5: Premalan Indra (PIN)(Olympic Gallowsea)

Young Fella: Tijan Sanyang (MAK)(SS Skiveness) 18 years
(Young Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: William Dodson (WGT)(SS Skiveness) 20
Third Place: Alexo Gorria (AZR)(SS Skiveness) 19

Bonesligg-2: Midezi (MZY) (Viking Tananger) 19
Bonesligg-3: Aura Kallistodott (Guillemots) 18
Bonesligg-4: Arthur Crawford (Hearts AFC) 20
Bonesligg-5: Ludowanus Gull (Omnibus Athletic) 18
Juvenligg: Gannet Smith (Young Folk FC) 19

Argångaward: Escobar de Cabanyas & Davin de Valle (Oysterhaven Reds)
(Coach of The Season)
Runner-Up: Kenny Rising (SS Skiveness)

Bonesligg-2: Buzza McCarthy (Viking Tananger)
Bonesligg-3: Woodman Cabel (Guillemots)
Bonesligg-4: Nazareth Rous (Hearts AFC)
Bonesligg-5: Patience Gayley (Omnibus Athletic)


Fellows Award: The Player of The Season
Ursell Grayse-Lennox

Ursell Grayse-Lennox was back to his very best for the season, once again hitting the top of the goal-scoring chart for the fourth time, and winning the Bonesligg player of the season for the second. The astonishing performances came tragically too late to win him a place in the national team, having lost not only his starring role from World Cup '77 but even failing to get into the squad for the finals of '78 on home soil, a travesty of bad timing. But at 29 he still has the legs for a few seasons yet and will look at his strike partner Piet Masschelin, 33, for the secret of eternal youth and consistent high scoring. Linking up with new young sensation Tijan Sanyang and renewed inside forward Jose Enrique, Ursell is at his free-scoring most dangerous.

The son of fisherman William ‘Backbone’ Grayse of Skiveness and land reclamation engineer Peggy Lennox, Ursell signed youth terms for The Herrings’ youth team Young Offenders FC, although he was far from being an inmate of the famous institution for naughty Boneskids on the Isle of Skive. William and Peggy have described him as the ‘model child’ (which they would of course - even the Skewes family think their kids are ‘model children’ much to the amusement of anyone who knows them), but coaches at Young Offenders FC and then at SS Skiveness when he graduated to the seniors have spoken of his dedication, hard work, and athleticism. Fast, strong and bold, he is quite prepared to wrestle and roll on the churning field - with a whole batch of yellow cards and two reds in international football already, his polite and friendly personality off the field is set aside for a more warrior-like approach on it. But his fierce competitiveness is not his only quality - his turn of speed, general fitness, and anticipation are all impressive, whilst he regularly demonstrates having a good instinct for finishing, both at domestic and international level. When not churning the grease for Bonesea or SS Skiveness, Ursell is a catch inspector at the local fishery, where he is well known for being able to distinguish his cod from his haddock.

Fellows Award Previous Winners
SB-574Toribio Gallo (TAM), Viking Tananger
SB-575Conchobar Wickett, Spittalmarine
SB-576Des Jeruselem, Florence Boldclub
SB-577Nobb Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-578Reskadinnick Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-579Reskadinnick Jones (2), Athletic Spit
SB-580Tuw Turk, Florence Boldclub
SB-581Ursell Grayse-Lennox, SS Skiveness
SB-582Nobb Jones (2), Athletic Spit
SB-583Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub
SB-584Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness
SB-585Ogma Codd, Gymnasia Scold


Ligg-1 Team of The Season

No.	Pos.	Name		Team
1. GK. Toll Gurvey SS Skiveness
2. CB. Larrick Jones-Gummo SS Skiveness
3. HB. Sek Riou (SEP) Florence Boldclub
4. HB. Pluto Blinkman (APX) Oysterhaven Reds
5. OL. Pat Robinson Torpedo Spitney
6. OR. Tijan Sanyang (MAK) SS Skiveness
7. IL. Huddy Hugus Gymnasia Scold
8. CF. Ursell Grayse-Lennox SS Skiveness
9. CF. Piet Masschelin (VLG) SS Skiveness
10. CF. Cade Jones Athletic St. Leah
11. IR. Jose Enrique (USI) SS Skiveness


Image

Image
Skellingkopfinal
Oysterhaven Reds 3-1 Dogside Works FF H/T: 1-1
@ St.Leah's Ground, Spittalsea. Attendance 21,400

Goals: Cocó (42', 85') Pluto Blinkman (57')
LO Trethurgy (32')
Player of the match: Faolan MacAomalain
Booked: Pluto Blinkman, BB Tretheway, Serian Osopo
Feoc Jones, Sayce Morse, Tranio Jakes
Sent off: -


Player Ratings
Oysterhaven Reds			Dogside Works FF

Joseph Amé [8.1] Menadue Jones [5.4] Match Statistics
Tongan Murray [7.8] Mylor Craddick [7.6]
Pluto Blinkman [8.4](1) Carrie St.Ive [5.6] Poss (%): 47/53
Boto Biri [5.2] Feoc Jones [7.5] Shots: 19-13
Junior Abessou [7.6] EY Longship [6.5] On Target: 8-5
Faolan MacAomalain [8.9](PoM) Vojislav Pitalisharo [7.3] Pass Comp(%): 79-64
BB Tretheway [7.5] Sayce Morse [6.6] Corners: 8-7
Cortysyn [7.9] Zeno Albatross [7.0] Fouls: 16-10
Radoslaw Hanak [7.5] Tranio Jakes [8.0] Yellow cards: 3-3
Serian Osopo [6.7] LO Trethurgy [7.4](1) Reds: 0-0
Cocó [8.4](2) Nelu Vacarciuc [6.1]

Subs Used Subs Used
Nia Xon [6.6] Gideon Penellum-Tiddy [5.5]
John-Beef Caspar [7.1] Taranto McCarthy [5.8]
Eméric Forge [ - ] Feste Gaul [6.0]


The Audioslav Final
Oysterhaven Reds 3-1 Dogside Works FF

Going into the final journalists and neutrals alike were split on what the big sotry was here, with Dogside Works FF, finishing bottom of Ligg-4 and heading into the basement division as the lowliest ranked team to ever reach the final, and the now close to legendary Audioslav management pair Escobar de Cabanyas and Davin de Valle taking little Oysterhaven Reds into the UICA with a second-place league finish and looking for a remarkable double. If things had gone differently - and it certainly looked for a half hour or so like it might do - this would have been known as the Dogs' Final - the nickname for the works team from Dogside on Coffin Island, part of the capital Spittalsea metropolitan district. But in the end, a calm and controlled second half from the classy Reds saw off the plucky underdogs and this will ever be known as the Audioslav final, as 'Ez & Dav' write their name large upon modern Greasy Churning. In the last final to be played at the St. Leah Ground before the Skellingkop moves to the new national stadium, Orchard Field, on Threemilestone or World Cup Island as it is still widely known, the biggest shock in the competition's history looked set to unfold as eccentric manager Odran Cash and his bunch of factory workers dominated the first half hour of this game, seemingly unaware of the incredible expectation on them. Led on the pitch by team captain and only semi-experienced footballer, Amberian refugee Vojislav Pitalesharo, the Dogs played with enthusiasm and a disruptive sort of inelegance that had Oysterhaven struggling to retain possession or do anything useful when they did get the ball. When LO Trethurgy bundled the ball over from a corner to put the Dogs ahead after 32 minutes, things looked dangerously like a surreal fairytale for a moment.

But this was to be the Reds' day after all, and the shock of the goal seemed to remind them that they were the favourites on the day and from the restart they dominated the game, with Faolan MacAomalain in particular stepping up to take control of the match. The winger took the game to the Dogs, giving young half back Carrie St.Ive in particular a torrid time as the half closed, including an assist for the Reds' equaliser just before half time, laying a neat low cross into the path of Cocó who lashed home to put the game back on level terms. The first fifteen minutes of the second half were all Oysterhaven as Ez & Dav rejiggled the tactics and brought on Nia Xon for Boto Biri, which seemed to give young star Pluto Blinkman more freedom to press forward. He hit the goal that put the Reds in front for the first time shortly before the hour mark, and from that point there really was only going to be one winner. As time pressed on the Reds eased off the pedal a bit but Dogside could not find another goal, and Cocó put it beyond them with a few minutes to go to assure an incredible Kop win for the team from the Isle of Skive, who were little more of a club than Dogside a few years ago but have now hit the big time with Ez & Dav earning them an unlikley place in the Globe and Cygnus Cups.

The title was won against a backdrop of fervent support for Dogside Works FF in the stadium: being a capital city team that are not aligned with any of the big four - Boldclub, Athletic, Marine or Torpedo - and arriving as massive underdogs, the works team from the Flóx car manufacturing plant on Coffin Island were easy for all the city to get behind following their impossible run to the Skellingkopfinal. Relegation to Ligg-5 in an awful season saw them pick up only four wins, and therefore in reaching the final they won more ties in the Kop than the Ligg this season, although it all started with an inauspicious goalless draw with local non-league minnows Spit Whistle Club, requiring penalties to get through. Away wins at non-leaguers Ringdale and Gargantua brought them a tie in-country at Celtic Skein, themselves having a bad time in the league, and the Dogs stunned them with a famous 1-0 win. But more was to come. Another away win at another second tier club, Combine Tamness-Nordby, was even more convincing as the Works team seemed to be enjoying the distraction away from what was looking more and more like a relegation season. Their first home tie in the competition in the semi-final was an impossible pairing with Moss FC, who must have already booked their city accommodations for the final, as they looked entirely complacent in the match and were demolished by a stunning 3-0 margin. The works team, set up by Guayabalense firm Electra Motors when they were building cars in the city, had made the final. But the dream ended at the hands of fellow football romantics Escobar de Cabanyas and Davin de Valle, topping off a fairytale return to the top flight with a Kop win.


Image
The Johnny Foreigner Report

The Low Down on our Bonesligg Migrants - Season 585
by Boldsport staff writer Johnny Foreigner

The way we play it at home is a little… rougher… and muddier… and… greasier... than the widely appreciated international variant of Association Football; in Greasy Churning, one must be prepared for a spot of wrestling. It won’t be everyone’s cup of Boney Tea, that’s for sure. So who made the switch from foreign climes with bruising grace? And who got floored on their first outing? Welcome to the Johnny Foreigner Report, your annual round-up of the Football Migrants gracing our game.



The success of the top two clubs and their foreign elements are reflected in the performance tables for our much-loved immigrant churners, with an SS Skiveness player winning the Johnny Foreigner award for the fourth time since its inception - this time Sunsrisian inside forward Jose Enrique takes his first award after a fantastic season at the Herrings which also saw him named in the first ever Ligg-1 team of the season. Piet Masschelin is never very far away from the top of this table, having won it twice before and coming very close this time around to finish second behind his team-mate. The top ten is notable for no less than five Oysterhaven reds players featuring, including their three Abajan imports Joseph Amé, Serian Osopo and Nia Xon who is the only woman reaching the top ten this time around. Daineri Cortysyn also makes the top ten while all-round wonderkid Pluto Blinkman finishes third. Young Daineri pair Oto and Aixsuu at the Boldclub also make the top ten, with Tanque at Torpedo completing the group and ensuring the Daineri are best represented with no less than four players in the top ten. In the lower league rankings it is two Fishers Grimsea players who top the list, with the Aesar Narahboson and Daineri Shelyak taking the top spots, and former Semarli SS Skiveness winger Adel Nzonzi, at Viking, finishing third.

Johnny Foreigner Award SB-586
Jose Enrique

Inside right, SS Skiveness

Into his fourth season at The Herrings after transferring on a free from Sporting Saint Adrensburg in Semarland, so little is known of the quiet and private inside forward from before his arrival in the north, or indeed much since, that an interesting bio will be nigh impossible to write without some 'creative licence' and 'embellishment on the facts'. What we can be sure of is that the 29-year old has been a consistently impressive performer since signing for SS, holding down the inside right position and barely missing a game in four seasons, making 131 appearances and hitting 47 goals in that time to win two Ligg titles, one runner-up medal, and two Kop final appearances with one victory - and he has been massively instrumental in that dominant period. He was also second to Asteróide in the Johnny Foreigner rankings in his first season and is a deserved recipient of the award this time around.

Outside of football we know that Jose 'married' Boneswoman Shreya North two years ago ('marriage' is a loose and peculiar arrangement in Bonesea, considered a non-binding gentlepersons agreement rather than a contract) and they have an infant son Acolytus. As football is officially amateur in Bonesea, we know also that in order to attract foreign types to the country they have to take up jobs outside of the club in order to play. Often, though the clubs will deny it, these are token employment situations like paperclip counter or healthy food taster. In the case of Jose, like several of the foreign footballers, he is a paid student at the Skive Polytechnical School where he is studying for a higher diploma in marine conservation, a popular obsession in the Boreal Islands. Team-mate and good friend Lobjstein, the Huelandian half back, is on the same course and they have apparently invested in a boat, the Gullbringa, from which to conduct studies. Shreya North believes the hold of the Gullbringa is loaded with wightbeer, blotwine and cheeses, and the only studying they do is of their navels when too drunk to lift their heads. Certainly it is true the coastguard were once spotted towing the Gullbringa back into dock at Skiveness harbour, but Lobjstein claims that was due to an engine failure. This is, of course, unverified, and whilst Lobjstein certainly has a well-deserved and much admired reputation for throwing himself into the local culture of hard work, hard play, and hard intoxication by whatever means available, the same could not be confidently said of Jose Enrique who is not a man about town like his friend, and remains monstrously athletic and fit, suggesting his main preoccupation outside of churning is training for churning.

Johnny Foreigner Award Previous Winners
SB-579Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub
SB-580Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness
SB-581Leonardo Ducaldo (USI), Grasshopper Club
SB-582Adel Nzonzi (SEM), SS Skiveness
SB-583Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub (2nd award)
SB-584Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness (2nd award)
SB-585Baldomiro el Ogro (LAS), Gymnasia Scold

Performance Summary*

Name			Nat.	Pos.	Club			Rating

Jose Enrique USI IR SS Skiveness 9.56
Piet Masschelin VLG CF SS Skiveness 9.52
Pluto Blinkman APX HB Oysterhaven Reds 9.20
Joseph Amé ABJ GK Oysterhaven Reds 9.04
Serian Osopo ABJ CF Oysterhaven Reds 8.97
Axsiuu DAI IL Florence Boldclub 8.90
Oto DAI HB Florence Boldclub 8.81
Cortysyn DAI CF Oysterhaven Reds 8.77
Nia Xon ABJ HB Oysterhaven Reds 8.57
Tanque DAI HB Torpedo Spitney 8.49

Renato Moleiro RED CB Blue Boys FF 8.41 Transferred from Torpedo Spitney
Asteróide DAI CF Florence Boldclub 8.26
Jordi Spanya SAN GK Blue Boys FF 8.16
Ravinger DAI HB Torpedo Spitney 8.10
Erik Marlowe NPH CF Florence Boldclub 7.88
Arichi Kunorikato USI IR Blue Boys FF 7.86 Transferred from Florence Boldclub
Glloum FAF CF Blue Boys FF 7.61 Transferred from Viking Tananger
Fingal Altimimy COS HB Extramarine 7.61
Nemesio Adams EFL OL Gymnasia Scold 7.57
Etel Csonka PAS OL Start-93 7.51
Ivy Herrick NPH CB Torpedo Spitney 7.48
Cocó USI IR Oysterhaven Reds 7.43 Transferred from SS Skiveness
Anders Boness SEM GK Grasshopper Club 7.35
João Batata USI OL Athletic Spit 7.27
Lobjstein HUE HB SS Skiveness 7.16
Mika Paprika USI HB Grasshopper Club 7.12
Hércules Menezes USI CF Athletic Spit 7.03
Halle Poirier EFL OR Torpedo Spitney 6.62
Baldomiro el Ogro LAS IL/R Gymnasia Scold 6.47
Jeronimo USI OL Grasshopper Club 6.40
Sarah XSV IRN OR Torpedo Spitney 6.37
Filipp Nashoba ABI CF Moss FC 6.20
Zé Caramba USI GK Extramarine 6.19
Tryggve Axelsson USI CB Start-93 6.13
Oxto Oliviera CPV IL Blue Boys FF 6.12
Arquimides USI CB Grasshopper Club 5.75
David Whitley USI IR Gullravens 5.69
Leonardo Ducaldo USI CF Grasshopper Club 5.66
Mateo Rossini USI/OSS IR/L Grasshopper Club 5.53
Karl Boness SEM GK Gymnasia Scold 5.51
Sham'a Ranger EFL CF Start-93 5.16

Lower League Players

Narahboson AES CB Fishers Grimsea 9.34
Shelyak DAI CB Fishers Grimsea 9.28
Adel Nzonzi SEM OR Viking Tananger 9.19
Jørgen Berthelsen USI IR Fishers Grimsea 8.91
Scott Balde USI GK Skelling Club 8.73
Brendo Pozo AUD HB 1.FC Tocklehove 7.44
Mochi Yoshinami USI CF Aero Fennby 7.44
Paracoílson CPV CF Herring Club 7.42
Anton Etxebarria AUD IR 1.FC Tocklehove 7.41
Jannick den Linds SEM HB Viking Tananger 7.34
Schreck DAI IL 1.FC Tocklehove 7.19
Ulena Asunao ABJ CF Turbine FF Gallowsea 6.88
Kvetoslav Irniq ABI CF Aero Fennby 6.57 Transferred from Irsha-57 SK
Newton Milesvile MRT CB 1.FC Tocklehove 6.39

* excludes players from Wide Enness Ocean region

OOC Note
I'm attempting to run one season per RL calendar month (season SB-586, here, is for August '17) based on my general rule of thumb that one RL month = one NS year (Boneytime). This will have an ageing impact on overseas players who come to Bonesea with a different ageing pattern. It may be impossible to resolve this satisfactorily with people using different interpretations of time; I'd suggest the Fluid Time refinery based in Whelm, akin to a leaky and unstable nuclear power plant, may be responsible for irregular ageing processes that will naturally be reversed with only minor medical intervention - a temporal regularisation jab and a good night's sleep - when characters return to other regions of the multiverse and spend time in more temporally stable environments. i.e. you age them as you see fit... Always open to ideas, suggestions and collaborations on this point, via TG initially.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} FEATURE: I[Heart][/Heart]WC'78 Special

Postby Bonesea » Sat Nov 18, 2017 2:35 am

Image


Three years ago: “You promised WHAT?!” yells the Cartographer General Valentine Joyce, head of state of Bonesea to his Prime Minister and future Cartographer General Finian Barcelona when told that The Fellowship of The Greasy Churn - that’s the Boney FA to you and me - had bid for the World Cup hosting rights… and won.

Nobody had thought to ask the Cartographer General for his approval - he was, said Finian helpfully, a tremendously busy fellow, being all head of stately and whatnot, so they thought it best not to bother him with trivialities like promising such an ambitious capital infrastructure project as the functionally-named New World Cup Town. Because, after all, Bonesea didn’t really have the existing infrastructure for such an enormous and prestigious tournament as the World Cup. And the World Cup Committee weren’t going to throw them a World Cup willy-nilly. There had to be incentives going the way of the voting members - you know, enticements. Considerations and so forth. Sweeteners.

“How the Dogs did you imagine we could fund buying twelve votes and thirty-odd abstentions from the Committee?” yells Valentine.

“Therein lies a story…” says Donna Maw, former Cartographer General and head of The Narrative Committee who often meddle in the affairs of state just to create amusing tales of shambles for the delight of the population.

“Is this you lot meddling again?” asks Valentine, a vein bulging in his temple and his eyes subtly but very definitely crossed.

Earlier, four thousand metres above Florence Beach, Bonesea, out of the back of an unregistered off-grid Cosumarite Air Force turboprop tactical airlifter:

“You promised WHAT?!” yells the Prime Minister Finian Barcelona, strapped to the belly of parachutist and skydiving secret agent Scorch McQuay, at the chairman of the Fellowship of The Greasy Churn, Professor Kett. Who is strapped to the belly of secret agent Messa Geach. (Footballing hero and World Cup Host Bid Poster-Boy Chilli-Bean Acosta is strapped to agent Marazion Sims, the FA note-taker Atticus Cothric to agent Manalaus Harpy, and Cosumarite liaison officer to the Bonesea World Cup Bid Committee YYY to secret-agent-in-command John-Bull Foster.)

“Write this down,” yells The Prof above the roar of the wind as they plummet in freefall toward Florence Beach, to his official note-taker Atticus Cothric who used to be a more senior sort of bureaucrat until he ran his mouth during the Baptism of Fire and upset a bunch of people in Acapais, Drawkland and West Spaam (they really weren’t paying much attention in East Spaam), “one: thirty-odd gold watches for the abstainees of the World Cup hosting vote in gift bags with invitations to dinner with the Cartographer General; two: twelve priceless Nomark Orbis Vacuum balls for those who voted for Coseybone - also ask marketing to test Coseybone as a moniker with their focus groups - and contracts on the stadium construction project; three: six rubber chickens for the eternal shadowpuppets and some concession licences for the ice cream parlours in the new World Cup Town; four: build a World Cup Town; five: post the blueprints of the Bonesea Barque revolutionary fluid time drive to the Admiralty of the Cosumar Navy as agreed, but accidentally leave out page 32; and six: pull - ”

“Pull ripchords!” yells Commander John-Bull, checking his altimeter.

World Cup Island

Having refurbished and built new several stadiums across Bonesea only six years previously to host the inaugural Independents Cup, the first thought was to take advantage of this relatively new resource for hosting half of the World Cup ‘79 Finals. But there were two problems - firstly, the stadiums are a little on the small side for the WCC’s liking with the biggest, St.Leah’s Ground, having a capacity of only 24,310. Secondly, clubs and fans were not enamoured of the idea for extension works to make their grounds bigger for World Cup compliance: post-World Cup, capacities would be surplus and stadia would feel half empty (at least) - because they would be. The biggest clubs just about draw 15-18,000 for Bonesligg-1 matches. What we need here, said some big ideas man (or woman, or person of indeterminate gender) is a World Cup village, similar to what they do for Olympic tournaments.

After casting about, and following heavy negotiations and some considerable expense, a small island three kilometres off the Spit Peninsula (on which sits the capital city Spittalsea) called Threemilestone (pronounced ‘thrummel-st’n’ in the Boney Linga) was purchased from the joint owners - Bonesea National Grid, who manage the recently decommissioned Threemilestone-C Nuclear Power Station on the island; and Alf Kettle, a solitary goat farmer who proved to have an extraordinary sense of market value and a tough bargaining instinct. The bleak 1008-hectare island, home of an old power station, one single-track road connecting the power station to a dilapidated air strip, an industrial deep-water dock, Alf’s ramshackle house, several colonies of cliff-nesting birds and the famous Glowdark Gruff hardy goat herd of around two thousand head, would become the World Cup New Town. Or several villages complete with a rather extraordinary four-field stadium complex and accommodations for sixteen World Cup squads, sixty-six thousand supporters temporarily boosting Bonesea’s population by a cool 20%, and some ultramodern transportation systems to match the best in the world. All connected by a high-speed monorail of Cosumarite design across a three klick bridge from the capital to be called, naturally, Threemilebridge or ‘thrummel-bridge’.

Image
Travel to Threemilestone, or Kettle Island as it has been nicknamed recently, is via the brand new monorail across Threemilebridge from the city centre. Stops on the mainland side are at the terminus in Mission close to the former national stadium, St.Leah’s Ground, and at Herring Island Interchange. From there the monorail crosses the three kilometre open water of the Spittal Bight before making landfall at the new supporters village of Kettlestowe. The monorail system then transports supporters close to all the accommodations (see plan below). During the tournament the island tram system is off-limits to supporters, providing exclusive transportation for teams between their own accommodation sites and the stadium complex. Teams arriving in Bonesea will not have to travel the monorail but will be airlifted from the main airport at Fennby to the refurbished landing strip on the island, from where they can catch private trams to all player locations.

Threemilestone

Now known locally - in the capital city of Spittalsea three klicks away over the water - as Kettle Island, Threemilestone is a fertile former volcanic outcrop off the coast of the Spit Peninsula, originally named by the Vættling explorer Thrand Rost after himself, Thrandrostein or Thrand Rost’s stone. A windy and boggy island, it was never particularly inhabited and through the early days of independent Bonesea was wild and unused. When the first nuclear power station was built there under the Cartographership - that would be the head of state to you and me - of Vine Thrasher, the fifth leader of independent Bonesea, it was discovered that a goat farmer called Ulf Kettle and his son Alf had settled there and claimed sovereignty of the island. The Bonesea National Grid paid the Kettle family for a 50% share in the island, which was reportedly cannily negotiated by father and son (Alf would have been in his late teens then) for a pretty penny. As syndicalists go, the Kettles were now preposterously rich, though you could not imagine it to see their home and their way of life, devoted to a huge herd of goats. After the passing of Ulf, who claimed direct descendancy from Thrand Rost, Alf began to sell his wares - goat milk, goat cheese, goat manure, and peat - on the mainland, taking advantage of the dock built at the site of the Nuclear Power Station. In the intervening years two more power stations were built to supply the growing capital city of Spittalsea, until investment in renewables created a full grid of green energy. All three power stations were decommissioned over a twenty-year period, with Threemilestone-C the last to close three years ago. Alf had been left to manage his island and his goats, until the Fellowship of The Greasy Churn successfully bid for the hosting rights to World Cup ‘78 and purchased a lease on Threemilestone from Alf in order to build a complete World Cup town for the competition.

Image
As part of the lucrative deal to host the World Cup, The Fellowship of The Greasy Churn have agreed funding for a new headquarters on the island, below the rocky outcropping that Alf Kettle calls Goat’s Bluff. A jewel in the crown of the future churning complex on Threemilestone, the Fellowship HQ will contain plush offices and entertainment facilities necessary for the comfortable governance of a highly cash-rich sport. After the World Cup, much of the island facilities created will be turned to other uses, including a science park for research into clean energies, a multiversal theme park and trade centre, and the new headquarters for the Allied States of the Wide Enness Ocean. But amidst all that, the Fellowship will convert Fourfields Stadium into a single new national stadium with attached facilities for the development of the national sport, including a centre of excellence for youth players and retention of one training park which the Fellowship hopes to rent out to rich UICA clubs looking for a mid-season or off-season squad training break. From Threemilestone, post-World Cup, the Fellowship under chairperson Professor Kett and national team manager Pythagoras Jones hope to plot world domination of the sport in time for World Cup ‘83.


Image

Most teams, naturally, will be arriving by plane to Spit International Airport at Fennby. While supporters will be required to make their way by tram and monorail to Threemilestone, the national teams will be provided with an air transfer to the air strip in the south-eastern corner of the island. From there they will use the new tram system to reach their accommodations, marked on the map with lettered markers A-P. Once the draw is made, each tram stop and team centre will be named by the resident team - for example, the Bonesea tram stop. The tram service is for the national football teams only and supporters will not have access to this transfer system.

Image
There are four training complexes across Threemilestone, each one serving four qualifying teams; with luxurious accommodations for teams in separate hotels and a central training hub with enough facilities to keep each team fit, well and practised in a private area to avoid any spying or interference. With state of the art gyms, health centres and 11G pitches, media rooms and meeting rooms, the training villages will cater for every possible need for the teams and are within easy tram-reach of the individual team accommodations. The team accommodations feature all the trappings of a luxurious hotel - high quality rooms with therapeutic beds, meeting and social areas, excellent catering facilities (teams can bring their own chefs or draw on the culinary skills of the best nutritionists imported from around the country), a range of non-physical leisure facilities such as small cinemas, gaming rooms and libraries (for the one player in the team who is semi-literate - there’s always one) and onsite additional gym and physio facilities. Teams will be sited separate from their group rivals in the first stage of the tournament.

Fan Villages

Image
Six brand new eco-villages have been constructed around the island to house an influx of keen supporters from across the multiverse. While many fans may wish to experience the haphazard delights of the mainland capital Spittalsea, most will be keen to soak up the World Cup Spirit by coming to Threemilestone and enjoying the camaraderie of living shoulder to shoulder with yuman beans, homo alfus, starbluddy dwarves and all manner of other sentient football fans from across the multiverse in a carnival of sporting joy. Wightbeer, blotwine and the hallucinogenic Bonesea Rue - the Green Faerie - will be on tap in copious supply to lubricate the festivities, and fans will enjoy fabulous accommodations in which to nurse their hangovers and recover from the thrills & spills of the tournament. Each fan village - at Kettlestowe, Goat Bluff, Puffins, Threemilestone, Muckley and Alfhouse (literally the site of Alf Kettle’s ramshackle house which is preserved like a museum piece in the middle of the village) - can accommodate up to six thousand people, and features all the necessary services of town life - bars, clubs, restaurants, shops, leisure facilities and great rooms in a range of curious contemporary building designs.

Fans have not been allocated specific villages according to nation and will be free to mix with the rest of the world wherever they choose. Five of the six fan villages are on the monorail lines that serve the island; line 1 from the mainland to Fourfields and Threemilestone Interchange, and line 2 from the interchange to Alfhouse. Only Muckley is off the monorail line, but connects efficiently with Fourfields via a powered mechanical walking road or ‘pedestrian highway’ - similar moving roads connect the stadium complex to the fan villages of Puffins and Goat Bluff.

Fourfields

Image
The jewel in the crown of Threemilestone World Cup Island is the Fourfields Stadium complex. A massive construction project completed inside two years from the announcement of the hosting decision, it is a miracle of modern sports architecture and engineering - not to mention photoshop skills - with four complete stadiums within the one building, and a network of transportation facilities as the hub of the entire island. Each of the ‘four fields’ features a 50,000-seater arena and high-quality Goatgrass™ surface which will easily withstand two matches per day during the busy group stage period. Genetically engineered and grown on the island, Goatgrass™ is the perfect natural surface, the peat-infused turf providing grip and cushioning for players with low friction grass blades that reduce burns and increase the speed of the ball across the surface. Ideal performance for the slick passing team with the added injury-reduction bonus for the more… physical… performers.

The stadium’s four arenas are named for the historical field names that Alf Kettle and his familial descendents used in this area, although of course the new fields do not correspond perfectly with the physical fields that were there before (the Kettle’s having clearly used a lot of Blotwine and Bonesea Rue when drywalling their field boundaries in such a rambling confusion of non-geometric shapes). Thus the four arenas are identified as Orchard Field, Clover Field, Thistle Field, and Kettle Field - the last name does not appear on any recorded field maps but Alf insists this was a field in the area before the development, not because he wanted an arena named after him, nonononotatall.

The Fourfields sporting village boasts excellent transport links to all spots on World Cup Island, with tram terminals for the teams with underground subways into the stadium to the north and south of the complex, a major interchange on the monorail for supporters coming from the supporter villages and the mainland, and an orderly pedestrianised expanse allowing friendly fans from all over the multiverse to intermingle before they head off to support their own teams in the four arenas.



Image
Group E, Matchday 1

Bonesea 2-1 OsariusHT: 0-1
@ Orchard Field, Threemilestone, Bonesea

Scorers: Cade Jones 52’ 63’
Isaia Urso 18’

Attendance: 50,000


Player		Rating					Match Stats	BSE-OSR
Harton [7.2] Possession (%) 60/40
Cottle [7.5] YY Shots 18-13
Banda-Scrote [7.8] On target 7-5
Ortiz [7.9] Pass Compl (%) 84-71
Jones, N [7.3] YY Corners 11-6
Jones, R [8.2] YY Fouls 16-14
Clapp [7.6] Yellow cards 5-3
Teppo [8.2] Red cards 0
Jones, C [9.3] goals: 52' 63' (PoM)
Tyree [8.3]
Turk [8.6]
Injuries Severity
de Luz [7.0] YY sub: Teppo 60' None
Hugus [ - ] YY sub: Clapp 78'
Skewes [ - ] sub: Banda-Scrote 90'+5


The Sailors survived an early scare as Osarius came north to spoil the party, but dug in well to turn the game around with Cade Jones continuing his remarkable start to international football with another brace, giving him an extraordinary 10 goals in 7 games so far for his country. His elder brother Reskadinnick also impressed in the forward seven as the senior statesman in the squad and a player who is flat refusing to hand over the gauntlet. Overall it was a solid performance from the team in a rather garish new green and purple look as The Firebirds wilted under icy pressure. Isaia Urso had given them a lead with a neat finish as Boney keeper Donkey Ray Harton looked a little nervous in the opening exchanges, in front of a record crowd in Bonesea.

Quote of The Day

Ayanna Barca-Carthy
, Osarian coach, when controversially asked about that chip on her shoulder, said

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

…which we think is a rather wordy way of saying ‘no comment’


Image
Group E matchday 2

Bonesea 1-0 ElectrumHT: 0-0
@ Orchard Field, Threemilestone, Bonesea

Scorer: Caro Tyree, 47’

Attendance: 50,000


Player		Rating					Match Stats	BSE-ELC
Harton [7.2] Possession (%) 46/54
Cottle [7.0] Shots 12-12
Banda-Scrote [7.3] + On target 5-4
Ortiz [8.0] Pass Compl (%) 78-68
Jones, N [6.0] YY Corners 6-7
Jones, R [7.3] YY Fouls 6-13
Hugus [6.1] Yellow cards 3-1
Teppo [7.3] YY Red cards 0
Jones, C [7.0]
Tyree [7.1] goal: 47'
Turk [7.1]+
Injuries Severity
Skewes [7.4] sub: Banda-Scrote 26' Turk 2 games
Codd [8.7] sub: Turk 45' (PoM) Banda-Scrote 1 game


The Sailors took one more step toward the knockout phase of their own World Cup with a closely contested victory over the Electrumites. Caro Tyree’s goal just after the break was the difference on the scoresheet, but on the field of play it was the half-time appearance of Ogma Codd that changed the fortunes of this game, as he went on to become the first Bonesea substitute to win the player of the match award. That might well have gone to young Wilkie Banda-Scrote after a majestic start to the game but a knock midway through the first half finished his game and could well leave him out for the final match of Group E. Tuw Turk also picked up a recurrence of his strained meta-phlegmon and will likely miss a couple of games. Coach Pythagoras Jones has a further selection headache next game with two of his sons, Nobb and Reskadinnick, both picking up yellow cards for the second consecutive match, meaning they will also both sit out the crucial final game with Mriin.

Happy to cede territory and possession to the Electrumites, Bonesea enjoyed a much better pass completion rate to demonstrate their efficiency on the ball, but the game was tight from beginning to end and it was only the introduction of Ogma Codd, replacing Turk who had been hurt just before half-time, that opened up the game somewhat for the home side. There are probably never any easy games in World Cup finals, and the nation that held Bonesea to a draw in the group stage of their first world cup in ’75 almost did it again with a solid defensive performance.

Quote of The Day

Pythagoras Jones
, on Ogma Codd

Every art expression is rooted fundamentally in the personality and temperament of the artist.

Image
Group E matchday 3

Bonesea 3-3 MriinHT: 0-2
@ Orchard Field, Threemilestone, Bonesea

Scorers: Jay Witt 71’ Cade Jones 83’ Ogma Codd 84’
Malia Polandre 13’ Uhlon Loft 31’ Solara Vol 70’

Attendance: 50,000


Player		Rating					Match Stats	BSE-MRI
Harton [5.6] Possession (%) 48/52
Cottle [4.1] Shots 19-13
Skewes [4.5] On target 8-6
Ortiz [5.0] Pass Compl (%) 74-74
Witt [4.6] goal: 71' Corners 3-4
Roche [4.1] YY Fouls 14-12
Clapp [4.3] Yellow cards 2-3
Yuval-Wise [5.8] Red cards 0
Jones, C [5.9] goal: 83' (PoM)
Tyree [5.5] YY
Codd [5.8] goal: 84'
Injuries Severity
Grayse-Lennox [4.6] sub: Yuval-Wise 55' Sweed 4 games
Sweed [ - ] + sub: Skewes 76'
Milan [ - ] sub: Sweed 89'


The Sailors came back from the dead and the very real possibility of elimination from the tournament at the group stage for the first time when they fought back heroically from being three goals down to take a point off Mriin and, at the end of one helluva scare, win the group. The satyrs of Mriin must love the hircine air of Threemilestone, which for so many generations was nothing more than a goat pen for the Kettle’s impressive Glowdark Gruff herd. They apparently numbered almost two thousand head before the World Cup moved in, but it was the eleven in the Orchard Field today that created the biggest stir, as they threatened to hand Bonesea their biggest home defeat before the Sailors scrapped their way back into it. So impressive in qualifying, Don Mizzet’s scrappers and butters had beaten no lesser nation than Osarius in their last game, and signalled their intentions early on with some penetrative probing that worried the back three. And within half an hour that worry had turned into disarray as Polandre and Loft set the satyrs on the way to what looked like a shocking but well deserved victory over the hosts.

Coach Pythagoras managed to settle the nerves a bit at half time and the Sailors came out fighting, looking for a way back into the game. As the satyrs held firm and the way looked blocked, the fighting became chasing and that left the Sailors vulnerable at the back. Sure enough Solara Vol made it three for Mriin on 70 minutes and things looked like they might get embarrassing. For a moment there was silence in the Orchard Field apart from a small corner where the goaty away fans were jumping up and down in disbelief. The silence didn’t last long however, as the Sailors scored from the kick-off inside 20 seconds, Jay Witt taking the ball on the outside left, playing a neat one-two with Idaios Clapp, and powering into the box to strike a solid blow back for Bonesea. Sensing a way out of the mire, the Sailors pressed forward regardless of defensive frailties, with player of the match Cade Jones hitting his eleventh goal in only seven appearances to really open a door for Bonesea. One minute later, who else but Ogma Codd would step through it to hit an equaliser and ensure the Sailors edged unbeaten into the knockout rounds of the World Cup for the third time, from three appearances.

Quote of The Day

Donkey Ray Harton
, on facing tricky opposition, said

Ideas are easy. It's the execution of ideas that really separates the sheep from the goats.


No match reports were produced for the Sailors knockout phase, largely due to a general malaise in the Boldsport office at the time, a shocking state of affairs given that the World Cup - THE WORLD CUP BY FIBULA!!! - was occurring on home soil.
Last edited by Bonesea on Sat Jan 20, 2018 8:56 am, edited 7 times in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Bonesea » Sat Dec 09, 2017 2:49 am

Coming soon... Galacticos Index for UICA-68 review
Last edited by Bonesea on Sat Jan 20, 2018 3:31 am, edited 6 times in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season 587 Round-Up

Postby Bonesea » Wed Dec 20, 2017 1:26 am

Image

Image
Gosh, Is That The Time Already?

Bonesligg-587: The Season In Review
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Dub Meadows
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

Well, isn’t this embarrassing? Two Boneyears without updates of the churning? The multiverse must think we have all been eaten up in a zombie killer virus, or suffered some other Cataclysmic Termination Event. Not so! We are all well and fine of course - but the massive internal conspiracy of the Binary Opposition has had us all reeling and preoccupied with our own thing: you’ll know all about that, of course, from your own media outlets and it’s not for me, a humble sports writer, to recap the greatest political unrest in the history of our small boreal island since Mr. & Mrs. Scapegoat of Liarby scandalised the world with their Missing Persons prank. Suffice to say, we’ve been a little busy. It’s the year SB-589 in our country now and you haven’t heard from us since the end of the ’86 season, so best I get started on the updates before we post entry to the next series of UICA, which has come around faster than a moosesteak out of a honey mastodon’s lower colon. The big news, of course, was the fallout for the Bonesligg following the Binary Opposition Debacle - with several of our oldest and most revered clubs caught up in the conspiracy of Wight interference in our sovereignty. Highest profile were Extramarine and Athletic, who have been stunningly relegated in punishment for their harbouring of treacherous imperialist leanings - Athletic to the second tier and Extramarine, stunningly, to the fifth. Neither have ever played out of the top flight before. The worst affected were notorious Fossite-favouring institutions Whelm Town Welfare (Ligg-2) and Stockett Brigade (Ligg-3), both disbanded, while East Spit Casuals, Penchant & District & Club Zenega (all Ligg-4) suffered relegation to the fifth tier along with Extramarine.

On the plus side, spaces opened up naturally for the newly-founded all-womens team, Valkyr Club, an extension of the junior team Valkyries, to join the league in the lowest division. Formed by inspirational young woman Ragnhild Row and top female footballer Ivy Herrick, from Nephara, the Valkyr Club will go head-to-head with Extramarine to find a way up the league and to the very top of the game.


Image
Bonesligg Champions

SS Skiveness
Vets & 'Guns In Herrings Back-To-Back


Kenny Rising's Herrings successfully defended their title for an eleventh Ligg gong, putting them well within reach now of the two capital giants of Florence Boldclub (13) and Spittalmarine (12); they have also proven to be the masters of the title defence with their third successful defence of all time - only Spittalmarine and Moss FC have managed the feat before, and both only once. With a number of fine experienced pros in the ranks who have seen it all before, in stalwarts Rémi Fofana, Lobjstein, Piet Masschelin, Jose Enrique and Ursell Grayse-Lennox, King Kenny added to the experience with the canny signing of Extramarine refugee Nacho Zambrano - the Tamarindian leading the exodus from the disgraced club. Add in a whole bag of young guns coming to the fore - Toll Gurvey, Tijan Sanyang, William Dodson, Ricky Kaiser with new additions Hockey Boscoppa-Cropper, Chavaqquq Venner and Hroald Calstock - and SS look an intimidating proposition for years to come. Who would bet against them becoming the first team to make it three in a row?

The Herrings looked like the prime candidates for the title from the start, with at least one rival eliminated before the season even started with Athletic St.Leah demoted to the second tier for their involvement in the Binary Opposition scandal (the loss of Extramarine to tier five certainly didn't have the same impact on title prospects, given their run in the doldrums of late). Florence Boldclub failed to offer a significant challenge again, managing a poor fifth place as they looked on to see SS march to an impressive title. The principle opposition came from neighbours Oysterhaven Reds for the second season running, and Hastein Zelah's surprise package, Gullravens, harking from the town of Gallowsea. So impressive were they that Hastein won the manager of the season award, meaning poor Kenny Rising missed out for a second season despite two titles in that time. What more does King Kenny need to do to actually be given his rightful crown?

Jose Enrique was once more the star of the show but young Hockey Boscoppa-Cropper, poached from sinking Extramarine, proved to be a magnificent capture. The oddball youth from up in the mountains cruised to the young player of the season award ahead of a number of impressive young team mates, with Ricky Kaiser also impressing and Tijan Sanyang, the Makongolese midfielder who won the award last year, once again in the hunt. All over the pitch from Toll Gurvey in between the sticks to the warrior Ursell Grayse-Lennox at the spearhead, this is a side oozing with class and confidence -
evidenced by an extraordinary run in the UICA Champions Cup, winning their group stage before unfortunately drawing the near-unbeatables of Eura, in this case mighty Spartangrad. Their performance, along with Viking's in the Series-B Champions Cup, means the Bonesligg earns a second Champions Cup place from the next cycle. But what next for SS Skiveness? Certainly, they look like they could dominate the Bonesligg for years to come, and their next ambition will be an improvement in the UICA cycles to really put the Bonesligg on the map.


Image
. Bonesligg-One Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 SS Skiveness 22 13 5 4 50 35 +15 44 Oranjibol
2 Gullravens FC 22 10 7 5 53 40 +13 37 Blue Marble
3 Oysterhaven Reds 22 11 2 9 48 42 +6 35 Blue Marble
4 Grasshopper Club 22 9 6 7 48 33 +15 33 Blue Marble
5 Florence Boldclub 22 10 3 9 50 41 +9 33
6 Gymnasia Scold 22 9 3 10 44 44 0 30
7 Start-93 22 8 6 8 36 40 −4 30
8 Fishers Grimsea 22 8 4 10 37 50 −13 28
9 Blue Boys FF 22 7 6 9 47 55 −8 27
10 Viking Tananger 22 7 3 12 34 38 −4 24
11 Moss FC 22 5 8 9 32 42 −10 23
12 Torpedo Spitney 22 6 5 11 34 53 −19 23 Relegated

Hastein Zelah’s Gullravens have taken to the top flight very comfortably, earning the old master tactician the manager of the season award ahead of back-to-back title winner Kenny Rising during a fine season in which they finished second, pipping Ez & Dav’s Oysterhaven Reds who were last year’s runner-up. It seems very much a changing of the guard with the capital old school teams nowhere in sight - Florence Boldclub finishing a disappointing fifth, Torpedo suffering a disaster to find themselves relegated just two seasons after finishing second, and the very naughty Athletic and Extramarine - now shamefacedly returning to their traditional name of Spittalmarine - conspicuous by their absence from the top flight for the first time in Bonesligg history, following their forced relegations. Both won promotions - Athletic back to the top flight and Spittalmarine to Ligg-4, although the Mariners were pipped to the title by Ivy Herrick’s debutant Valkyries.

Image
. Bonesligg-Two Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Athletic St.Leah 22 13 5 4 80 45 +35 44 Coupe de Moutarde & promoted
2 Celtic Skein 22 10 7 5 56 36 +20 37 Coupe de Moutarde
3 Combine Tamness-Nordby 22 10 4 8 49 50 −1 34 Coupe de Moutarde
4 Industrial Amblesea 22 9 5 8 52 48 +4 32
5 Skelling Club 22 9 4 9 49 46 +3 31
6 1.FC Tocklehove 22 6 11 5 30 34 −4 29
7 Spartans FF Liarby 22 6 10 6 48 44 +4 28
8 Academical 22 6 9 7 42 42 0 27
9 Turbine FF Gallowsea 22 6 7 9 39 47 −8 25
10 Guillemots 22 6 7 9 52 67 −15 25
11 1.FC Bøe 22 6 4 12 40 55 −15 22 Relegated
12 Crows Club 22 4 9 9 37 60 −23 21 Relegated


UICA Cycle 68 Report

The Sixty-Eighth Champions’ Cup
Second Preliminary Round

(BSE) SS Skiveness 5–4 Nasutani Powerblade (DKI) 3–2 2–2

Play-Off Round

(SLL) New Llama Capitals 2–4 SS Skiveness (BSE) 1–1 1–3

Group Stage

Group D Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts Skv IzZ MCE MLp
1 SS Skiveness BSE 6 3 1 2 8 8 0 10 — 3–1 0–3 1–3
2 AC Izotz Zubia AUD 6 2 3 1 8 6 +2 9 0–0 — 2–0 2–0

3 Millennium City Eagles NFX 6 1 3 2 7 8 −1 6* 0–2 2–2 — 1–1
4 Mliona-Lpaka TUR 6 1 3 2 7 8 −1 6* 1–2 1–1 1–1 —
* Disciplinary points: Millennium City Eagles 10, Mliona-Lpaka 15

Eighth-Finals

(EUR) Spartangrad 5–2 SS Skiveness (BSE) 3–2 2–0

The Sixty-Fifth Globe Cup
First Preliminary Round

(SBE) Laranjeiras 2–4 Athletic St Leah (BSE) 1–3 1–1

Second Preliminary Round

(MBT) Halholzer United 1–1 a Athletic St Leah (BSE) 1–1 0–0
(SCT) Lammerton 0–2 Oysterhaven Reds (BSE) 0–0 0–2
(BSE) Florence Boldclub 9–2 Desert Province FC (DKI) 6–1 3–1

Play-Off Round

(BSE) Athletic St Leah 1–4 MTK Kingsville (DAR) 1–2 0–2
(BSE) Florence Boldclub a 2–2 Langlois Océanic (KSK) 1–0 1–2
(BSE) Oysterhaven Reds 1–2 Golden Eagles (AVN) 0–0 1–2

Qualifying Round

(BSE) Florence Boldclub 4–4 a Gwinevra Barbarians (APX) 3–3 1–1

The Sixty-Fifth Series B Champions’ Cup
First Preliminary Round

(BSE) Skelling Club 6–2 Loudon Lancers (TAE) 1–1 5–1

Second Preliminary Round

(BSE) Fishers Grimsea 6–2 Tigo Gyulhabdwen (COM) 4–1 2–1
(BSE) Skelling Club 3–5 Aleine United (PAS) 1–3 2–2

Play-Off Round

(BSE) Fishers Grimsea 0–1 Pinnacle Project (CEN) 0–0 0–1
(AFL) New Placer United 3–4 Viking Tananger (BSE) 2–2 1–2

Group Stage

Group G Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts Zai VTn ZCl NdA
1 Z’ai’ai CMT 6 3 2 1 9 9 0 11 — 2–1 0–0 3–1
2 Viking Tananger BSE 6 3 1 2 13 7 +6 10 4–0 — 3–1 3–1

3 Zenit California NCS 6 2 3 1 8 5 +3 9 2–2 1–0 — 4–0
4 Neiden Athletik ARN 6 0 2 4 5 14 −9 2 1–2 2–2 0–0 —

Eighth-Finals

(BSE) Viking Tananger 4–0 Klyde (COS) 0–0 4–0

Quarter-Finals

(VLD) CAP 5–3 Viking Tananger (BSE) 3–0 2–3

The Twentieth Youth Cup
First & Second Rounds; Group Stage

Second round
(BSE) Young Folk FC 3–2 Polaris (CEN) 1–0 2–2

Champions’ Cup path
Group D Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts IzZ MCE YOf MLp
1 AC Izotz Zubia AUD 6 4 1 1 10 6 +4 13 — 2–1 2–0 1–0

2 Millennium City Eagles NFX 6 3 2 1 9 5 +4 11 1–0 — 3–1 2–0
3 Young Offenders FC BSE 6 1 3 2 5 8 −3 6 3–3 0–0 — 1–0
4 Mliona-Lpaka TUR 6 0 2 4 3 8 −5 2 1–2 2–2 0–0 —

Play-off round
(BSE) Young Folk FC 1–3 Real Azuris (COS)


Whilst not setting the multiverse alight just yet, the impressive performances of SS Skiveness to qualify for and win the Champions Cup group stage, with Viking Tananger making the quarter-finals of the Series B Champions Cup, earns the Bonesligg an additional place in the Champions Cup at the next cycle. There was some balancing disappointment, of course, with three teams in Athletic, Boldclub and debutants Oysterhaven Reds all failing to reach the group stage of the Globe Cup.

Bonesligg Lower Divisions Summary

Image
. Bonesligg-Three Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Turbine Moss FF 22 10 10 2 40 22 +18 40 Promoted
2 Armada Club 22 11 4 7 39 30 +9 37 Promoted
3 Rapid FF Kells 22 9 8 5 45 27 +18 35
4 Irsha-57 SK 22 10 5 7 55 46 +9 35
5 St. Leah Gaels 22 10 4 8 43 26 +17 34
6 Hearts AFC 22 10 4 8 44 44 0 34
7 Kickers FF Sand 22 8 8 6 29 29 0 32
8 Rangers Tocklehove FF 22 7 8 7 39 42 −3 29
9 17.FF Tolling 22 5 9 8 44 49 −5 24
10 Tundra Axle FC 22 6 6 10 39 46 −7 24
11 Otters Club 22 5 5 12 42 66 −24 20 Relegated
12 Blackskull Club 22 3 5 14 25 57 −32 14 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Four Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Banners FC Skiveness 22 14 4 4 60 29 +31 46 Promoted
2 Olympic Gallowsea 22 13 3 6 40 25 +15 42 Promoted
3 Herring Club 22 12 3 7 39 20 +19 39
4 Mosquitos 22 12 2 8 38 31 +7 38
5 Aero Fennby 22 9 4 9 47 43 +4 31
6 Skullion FF 22 7 10 5 26 22 +4 31
7 Union Skive 22 7 7 8 47 51 −4 28
8 Dogside Works FF 22 7 6 9 24 35 −11 27
9 Bonesea Air Force Club 22 6 8 8 41 47 −6 26
10 Omnibus Athletic 22 5 8 9 34 41 −7 23
11 Slatterness Amateur 22 5 6 11 26 42 −16 21 Relegated
12 Washaway FC 22 3 3 16 33 69 −36 12 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Five Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Valkyr Club 22 19 1 2 129 23 +106 58 Promoted
2 Spittalmarine 22 18 2 2 79 23 +56 56 Promoted
3 Bannerclub Clun 22 10 7 5 45 31 +14 37
4 FC Harbourwights 22 9 6 7 39 38 +1 33
5 Florentine Rose 22 8 4 10 26 36 −10 28
6 Club Zenega 22 7 5 10 37 54 −17 26
7 Viking Spit SK 22 6 6 10 37 54 −17 24
8 Boneyrigg Lily 22 7 3 12 27 49 −22 24
9 Battalion 22 7 3 12 20 45 −25 24
10 Spittal County 22 6 5 11 24 53 −29 23
11 Bonehouse Violet 22 4 7 11 24 49 −25 19
12 Nordfold Browns 22 4 5 13 20 52 −32 17 Rubbishpoon


Cumulative Re-election Record
Bonesligg-5 Rubbishpoon

587 Nordfold Browns
586 Florentine Rose
585 FC Harbourwights
584 FC Harbourwights
583 Washaway FC


Image

Image
Skellingkopfinal
Armada Club 1-0 Rapid FF Kells H/T: 0-0
@ Orchard Field, Three Mile Island. Attendance 44,800

Goal: Hal Sanderling 63'

Player of the match: Lantyan Trenear (Armada Club)
Booked: Njálur Schrøter, Gweir Brodrick, Lantyan Trenear, Gunnar Treveighan
Oeneus Bolventor, Protagoras Nanjulian
Sent off: Nathan Gynn (Rapid FF) 48'


Player Ratings
Armada Club			Rapid FF Kells

Merther Runnells [5.4] Korbin Simpson [6.0] Match Statistics
Oren Quentamau [7.2] UF Quintrell [5.6]
Njálur Schrøter [7.3] Arleen Baripper [4.1] Poss (%): 52/48
Othello Venterdon [6.0] Adam Cerf [5.6] Shots: 17-8
Hal Sanderling [7.3](1) Nathan Gynn [4.3] On Target: 6-3
Gweir Brodrick [6.7] GP Falcon [5.6] Pass Comp(%): 82-71
Gitana Méndez [7.5] Chaplain Jones [5.8] Corners: 4-6
David Caudle [8.4] MacKenzie Jones [5.1] Fouls: 10-12
YC Vingo [5.3] Aia Goninan [5.2] Yellow cards: 4-2
Lantyan Trenear [8.7](PoM) Oeneus Bolventor [5.4] Reds: 0-1
Zoran Neeskins [5.7] Bost Raven [5.9]

Subs Used Subs Used
Gunnar Treveighan [7.4] Ri Dong Min [5.9]
OB Jones [7.6] Merrick Thrush [ - ]
Stack Ryan [7.1] Protagoras Nanjulian [ - ]


Third Tier Titans
Armada Club 1-0 Rapid FF Kells

A team from the third tier of the Bonesligg won the national cup competition for the first time in a remarkable tie against divisional rivals Rapid FF, amidst accusations from press and public that ‘big clubs don’t care about the Skellingkop’. All a bunch of nonsense of course - there aren’t any big clubs in Bonesea. If we look at the top teams though, there can be no arguing they were a bit lax as the dynamic duo from the third division both knocked out Ligg-1 sides on the way to the final. Indeed, there was only one top side left by the semi-finals, in Start-93 who were blown out by Rapid with a shock 5-1 win. Kop champions Armada broke another record by beating sides from every division and non-league on the way to this historic title, the first time such a run has ever happened. To complete a hatrick of honours, Armada’s veteran striker David Caudle, formerly of the Boldclub and Gymnasia, wins a remarkable sixth Skellingkop medal, the first player to amount such a haul. A forgotten man who seemed to disappear into the lower leagues at the end of a moderately successful top-flight career, with an uncanny knack of turning up in Kopfinals, Caudle is showing that sometimes life begins at Ligg-3… ithankya.

More records? How about Tundra Axle’s insane 15-3 win at shamed Club Zenega, of Binary Opposition infamy - the highest aggregate score in a match, beating Athletic’s famous 17-0 win over Boneyrigg Lily forty-odd years ago, although that remains the biggest margin of victory in the Kop.


Skellingkop-1 

Sandness FC 2–0 Shale Athletics Union
Florentine Rose 0–5 Valkyr Club
AirBone SSC 2–1 UZZZR Exiles Club
St. Leah Gaels 6–1 Tundra FC
Captain Amble FC 0–1 Golden Lion
Viking Hallingby SK 1–2 Gymnasia Scold
Torpedo Spitney 0–0 Blue Boys FF (0–0 AET) (3–2 pen.)
Rangers Tocklehove FF 4–0 Gullmarket Isambards
Tamarindian Club 0–3 1.FC Bøe
SS Hammerdale 0–2 Refugee Club
Oysterhaven Reds 3–0 Dogside Works FF
Turbine FF Gallowsea 1–0 Solomon FC
Bannerclub Clun 2–0 Basques
SCB-Alliance 0–5 Battalion
Moss Thistle FC 1–2 Club Zenega
Murrow FC 0–4 Tundra Axle FC
Guillemots 3–0 Heralds Club
Spittalmarine 1–0 Herring Club
Tunns Club 0–1 Spite Rovers
Otters Club 3–0 SS Skaya
Tolling Orient 1–1 Slatterness Amateur (2–2 AET) (4–5 pen.)
SS Spittalsea 3–12 Banners FC Skiveness
Dockyard Peloton 0–1 Penchant & District
Dial Tavern Brawlers 0–0 Hemness Nuclear (0–0 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Tugboat Marines FC 0–6 Combine Tamness-Nordby
Omnibus Athletic 8–1 Spit Whistle Club
Gullravens FC 6–0 Bleary Athletic
Moss FC 3–5 SS Skiveness
Grasshopper Club 7–0 Gargantua
Industrial Amblesea 8–0 Skullharrow Jets
Bonesea Air Force Club 3–0 Celts Club
Gargoyles Club 1–5 Armada Club
Bonehouse Violet 0–1 Red Orca
Combine FF Pikefells 1–2 FC Harbourwights
Turbine Moss FF 1–7 Rapid FF Kells
Coffin Island Rangers 3–1 Clunwardine Leopard
Spit City 0–0 Lundsea Pier FC (0–1 AET)
Vetting Islanders 0–2 17.FF Tolling
Olympic Gallowsea 3–0 Skullion FF
Nordfold Browns 2–5 Mission Sparta
Fishers Grimsea 5–1 Tolga Maroons
Admiral Cossentine 1–2 Gallowsea Ramblers
Hearts AFC 2–0 Strand Rose
Angaby FF 0–8 Crows Club
Stingrays 5–0 Viking Spit SK
Scotvik FF 3–1 FC Berserkr
Discordian Wanderers 3–1 FTK Whelm
Athletic St.Leah 3–0 Orchids
Rise Thistle 0–7 Spartans FF Liarby
Washaway FC 0–1 Scold Thunder FC
Celtic Skein 2–0 Spittal County
Union Skive 1–7 Start-93
Irsha-57 SK 3–1 1.FC Tocklehove
Combined Varsity Athletics Union 1–1 Boneyrigg Lily (1–1 AET) (4–2 pen.)
SSC Ringdale 0–2 Crabbers Club
Skelling Club 7–0 Neskullen Argyle
Bonesea Mountain Rescue AC 3–3 Academical (4–3 AET)
Mosquitos 0–0 Longby SS (1–0 AET)
Aero Fennby 3–2 United Altafriqana
Kickers FF Sand 3–1 Blackskull Club
Moss Whalers 1–1 Saltby Town (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Oyna & Gritting Combine 0–3 Terrier Club
Gannet FC 0–2 Florence Boldclub
Viking Tananger 3–3 East Spit Casuals FC (4–3 AET)

Skellingkop-2

Sandness FC 0–6 Valkyr Club
AirBone SSC 0–7 St. Leah Gaels
Golden Lion 0–6 Gymnasia Scold
Torpedo Spitney 3–1 Rangers Tocklehove FF
1.FC Bøe 7–0 Refugee Club
Oysterhaven Reds 0–0 Turbine FF Gallowsea (0–0 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Bannerclub Clun 5–3 Battalion
Club Zenega 3–15 Tundra Axle FC
Guillemots 1–3 Spittalmarine
Spite Rovers 2–2 Otters Club (2–4 AET)
Slatterness Amateur 1–1 Banners FC Skiveness (3–2 AET)
Penchant & District 0–1 Hemness Nuclear
Combine Tamness-Nordby 3–1 Omnibus Athletic
Gullravens FC 1–1 SS Skiveness (1–2 AET)
Grasshopper Club 1–0 Industrial Amblesea
Bonesea Air Force Club 3–7 Armada Club
Red Orca 1–0 FC Harbourwights
Rapid FF Kells 3–0 Coffin Island Rangers
Lundsea Pier FC 1–6 17.FF Tolling
Olympic Gallowsea 3–1 Mission Sparta
Fishers Grimsea 3–0 Gallowsea Ramblers
Hearts AFC 0–0 Crows Club (0–0 AET) (3–1 pen.)
Stingrays 1–3 Scotvik FF
Discordian Wanderers 0–9 Athletic St.Leah
Spartans FF Liarby 2–0 Scold Thunder FC
Celtic Skein 0–1 Start-93
Irsha-57 SK 1–0 Combined Varsity Athletics Union
Crabbers Club 2–3 Skelling Club
Bonesea Mountain Rescue AC 0–3 Mosquitos
Aero Fennby 1–3 Kickers FF Sand
Saltby Town 0–0 Terrier Club (0–2 AET)
Florence Boldclub 5–1 Viking Tananger

Skellingkop-3

Valkyr Club 3–3 St. Leah Gaels (3–3 AET) (3–0 pen.)
Gymnasia Scold 1–1 Torpedo Spitney (1–1 AET) (4–5 pen.)
1.FC Bøe 1–0 Oysterhaven Reds
Bannerclub Clun 0–3 Tundra Axle FC
Spittalmarine 2–4 Otters Club
Slatterness Amateur 0–1 Hemness Nuclear
Combine Tamness-Nordby 3–0 SS Skiveness
Grasshopper Club 5–5 Armada Club (5–6 AET)
Red Orca 0–2 Rapid FF Kells
17.FF Tolling 3–3 Olympic Gallowsea (3–3 AET) (0–3 pen.)
Fishers Grimsea 7–0 Hearts AFC
Scotvik FF 0–6 Athletic St.Leah
Spartans FF Liarby 0–5 Start-93
Irsha-57 SK 3–0 Skelling Club
Mosquitos 2–2 Kickers FF Sand (2–2 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Terrier Club 1–6 Florence Boldclub

Skellingkop-4

Valkyr Club 1–0 Torpedo Spitney
1.FC Bøe 1–3 Tundra Axle FC
Otters Club 0–0 Hemness Nuclear (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Combine Tamness-Nordby 4–8 Armada Club
Rapid FF Kells 5–0 Olympic Gallowsea
Fishers Grimsea 0–4 Athletic St.Leah
Start-93 5–0 Irsha-57 SK
Kickers FF Sand 3–5 Florence Boldclub

Skellingkop-5

Valkyr Club 3–1 Tundra Axle FC
Hemness Nuclear 1–3 Armada Club
Rapid FF Kells 1–0 Athletic St.Leah
Start-93 5–3 Florence Boldclub

Skellingkop-6

Valkyr Club 1–1 Armada Club (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Rapid FF Kells 5–1 Start-93

Skellingkopfinal

Armada Club 1–0 Rapid FF Kells


Image
Juvenligg-N Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Start u19 24 10 10 4 54 38 +16 40
2 Orphanage FC 24 9 8 7 40 39 +1 35
3 Grasshopper u19 24 8 8 8 43 40 +3 32
4 Young Refugees FC 24 8 8 8 44 45 −1 32
5 Chavo 24 7 8 9 41 46 −5 29
6 Young Fishers 24 7 8 9 30 48 −18 29
7 Gulls u19 24 6 8 10 55 51 +4 26

Image
Juvenligg-E Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Gymnasia u19 24 15 4 5 51 28 +23 49
2 Young Offenders FC 24 12 3 9 54 42 +12 39
3 Red Boys 24 10 5 9 58 46 +12 35
4 Centre For Excellence 24 9 5 10 39 35 +4 32
5 Orient 24 8 6 10 47 56 −9 30
6 Celtic u19 24 7 7 10 47 60 −13 28
7 Junior Blues 24 5 6 13 25 54 −29 21

Image
Juvenligg-S Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Valkyr SK 24 13 5 6 39 21 +18 44
2 Viking Youth 24 12 7 5 61 46 +15 43
3 Latiñeros 24 9 7 8 47 44 +3 34
4 Combine u19 24 8 7 9 37 34 +3 31
5 Young Kickers 24 7 10 7 44 42 +2 31
6 Juvenil 24 7 7 10 36 37 −1 28
7 Sparta 24 4 5 15 29 69 −40 17

Image
Juvenligg-W Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Torpedo Juniors 24 11 6 7 46 31 +15 39
2 Three Mile Academy 24 10 8 6 48 34 +14 38
3 Young Folk FC 24 11 5 8 49 42 +7 38
4 Rigger Monkeys 24 9 6 9 46 42 +4 33
5 Bold Youth 24 8 6 10 42 49 −7 30
6 Turbine u19 24 8 6 10 40 59 −19 30
7 Ocean Cadets 24 6 5 13 26 40 −14 23


Image
Round of Sixteen

Gymnasia u19 1–1 Combine u19 (2–1 AET)
Valkyr SK 0–0 Young Refugees FC (2–0 AET)
Start u19 3–1 Centre For Excellence
Torpedo Juniors 0–2 Rigger Monkeys
Viking Youth 1–0 Grasshopper u19
Young Offenders FC 3–3 Latiñeros (3–3 AET) (5–4 pen.)
Three Mile Academy 2–0 Red Boys
Orphanage FC 2–2 Young Folk FC (3–3 AET) (4–5 pen.)

Quarterfinals

Gymnasia u19 2–1 Viking Youth
Start u19 0–1 Three Mile Academy
Valkyr SK 1–4 Young Offenders FC
Young Folk FC 0–3 Rigger Monkeys

Semifinals

Gymnasia u19 1–2 Three Mile Academy
Young Offenders FC 0–0 Rigger Monkeys (0–1 AET)

Juvenliggfinal.

Three Mile Academy 2–3 Rigger Monkeys



Awards & Records
Season-587

Champions:	SS Skiveness (12th title)
Runners-Up: Gullravens
Third Place: Oysterhaven Reds

Kop Winners: Armada Club (1st title & final)
Runners-Up: Rapid FF Kells (2nd final)

Taxhavn Colour Cups Qualifications

Oranjibol: SS Skiveness
Blue Marble: Gullravens
Oysterhaven Reds
Grasshopper Club
C.de Moutarde: Athletic St.Leah
Celtic Skein
Combine Tamness-Nordby
Duck Cup: Armada Club

ExtraKop-588: SS Skiveness vs. Armada Club
(Super Cup season opener)

Lower Ligg Champions

Bonesligg-2: Athletic St.Leah
Bonesligg-3: Turbine Moss FF
Bonesligg-4: Banners FC Skiveness
Bonesligg-5: Valkyr Club
Spittaligg-A: Spit City

National Youth League
Champions: Rigger Monkeys (Spittalmarine)
Runners-Up: Three Mile Academy (National Association)
Juvenligg-N: Start u19
Juvenligg-E: Gymnasia u19
Juvenligg-S: Valkyr SK
Juvenligg-W: Torpedo Juniors

Player Awards

Fellows Award: Jose Enrique (SS Skiveness)
(Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Ursell Grayse-Lennox (SS Skiveness)
Third Place: Svein Cawrse (Gullravens)

Bonesligg-2: Cade Jones (Athletic St.Leah)
Bonesligg-3: Gaspar de Çisneros (WEO-NAV)(Turbine Moss FF)
Bonesligg-4: Roose Wilburn-Hawes (Banners FC Skiveness)
Bonesligg-5: Ivy Herrick (NPH)(Valkyr Club)

J.Foreigner: Jose Enrique (USI)(SS Skiveness)
(Foreign Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Pluto Blinkman (APX)(Oysterhaven Reds)
Third Place: Lobjstein (HUE)(SS Skiveness)

Golden Boot: Ursell Grayse-Lennox (SS Skiveness) 23 goals
Runner-Up: Asteróide (DAI)(Florence Boldclub) 19

Bonesligg-2: Cade Jones (Athletic St.Leah) 32
Bonesligg-3: Adama Koné (WEO-MAK)(Irsha-57 SK) 27
Bonesligg-4: Xu Guanting (WEO-HUA)(Banners FC) 28
Bonesligg-5: Kelpie Carrard (NPH)(Valkyr Club) 43

Golden Glove: Iggy Anchor (Grasshopper Club)
Runner-Up: Toll Gurvey (SS Skiveness)

Bonesligg-2: Kierra Hale (1.FC Tocklehove)
Bonesligg-3: Bastian Bunney (Turbine Moss FF)
Bonesligg-4: Penny Cox (Herring Club)
Bonesligg-5: Claudia Kelly (BRE)(Valkyr Club)

Young Fella: Hockey Boscoppa-Cropper (SS Skive.) 16
(Young Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Pluto Blinkman (APX)(Oy. Reds) 18
Third Place: Ricky Kaiser (SS Skiveness) 20 years

Bonesligg-2: Ofra Wickett (Athletic St.Leah) 19
Bonesligg-3: Adam Cerf (WEO-SEP)(Rapid FF Kells) 19
Bonesligg-4: Sisinio Goicuria (WEO-AZR)(Banners) 18
Bonesligg-5: Lynn Jones (Valkyr Club) 18
Juvenligg: Ró Cowlands (Gymnasia u19) 15

Argångaward: Kenny Rising (SS Skiveness)
(Coach of The Season)
Runner-Up: Hastein Zelah (Gullravens)

Bonesligg-2: Malia Grew-Marley (Celtic Skein)
Bonesligg-3: Baston Miller (Armada Club)
Bonesligg-4: Tuathal Yellowbill (Banners FC Skiveness)
Bonesligg-5: Ivy Herrick (NPH)(Valkyr Club)


Fellows Award: The Player of The Season
Jose Enrique (USI)

The veteran Sunrisian picked up his first Fellows Award following another fine season with the Herrings, and becomes the fourth foreign winner of the award in it's fourteen-season history, following in the proud footsteps of Taribio Gallo, Des Jeruselem, Asteróide and Piet Masschelin.

Fellows Award Previous Winners
SB-574Toribio Gallo (TAM), Viking Tananger
SB-575Conchobar Wickett, Spittalmarine
SB-576Des Jeruselem (BSE/QUE), Florence Boldclub
SB-577Nobb Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-578Reskadinnick Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-579Reskadinnick Jones (2), Athletic Spit
SB-580Tuw Turk, Florence Boldclub
SB-581Ursell Grayse-Lennox, SS Skiveness
SB-582Nobb Jones (2), Athletic Spit
SB-583Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub
SB-584Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness
SB-585Ogma Codd, Gymnasia Scold
SB-586Ursell Grayse-Lennox, SS Skiveness (2)


Ligg-1 Team of The Season

No.	Pos.	Name		Team
1. GK. Iggy Anchor Grasshopper Club
2. CB. Larrick Jones-Gummo SS Skiveness
3. HB. Svein Cawrse Gullravens
4. HB. Pluto Blinkman (APX) Oysterhaven Reds
5. OL. Jay Witt Florence Boldclub
6. OR. Ove Jacobsen Grasshopper Club
7. IL. Idaios Clapp SS Skiveness
8. CF. Alifa Dieye (WEO-MAK) Gullravens
9. CF. Ursell Grayse-Lennox SS Skiveness
10. CF. Asteróide Florence Boldclub
11. IR. Jose Enrique (USI) SS Skiveness


Transfer Talk SB-587
All the key moves in one neat section

Transfer news this season was naturally dominated by the mass defection from Extramarine, relegated four divisions following the Binary Opposition scandal and losing their entire first team as a result, bar loyal keeper Godfrey Jones and one-club inside-right Tolgus Carne who must have decided that after 12 seasons with his club, he may as well stick to what he knows. The club promoted most of their youth academy into the first team and despite competing with the youngest squad in the Ligg they performed handsomely to win promotion to the fourth tier. But the former greats who had kept the old club afloat in the top flight were all gone across the league, with varying degrees of success. Athletic St.Leah, meanwhile, were also relegated in the scandal but managed to hold on to their whole team - probably because they only dropped a single division and looked good to bounce straight back - which they did.

Key Moves This Season
Player		Pos.	Age	From		To
Nacho Zambrano (WEO-TAM) CF 27 Extramarine SS Skiveness
Hockey Boscoppa-Cropper OR 16 Extramarine SS Skiveness
Hroald Calstock HB 19 Gullravens SS Skiveness

Waterloo Austin CF 26 Extramarine Oysterhaven Reds
Vinachê Mbiwa (WEO-MAK) CB 26 Extramarine Oysterhaven Reds

Zé Caramba (USI) GK 29 Extramarine Florence Boldclub
Harald Fireblade (COS) HB 19 Hvalsey Aero.* Florence Boldclub

Pieter Bas-Noodveld (WEO-ORJ) OR 23 Extramarine Blue Boys FF
Bantam Rose OL 21 Extramarine Blue Boys FF

Climo Tyree CB 24 Extramarine Torpedo Spitney
Ruben Roche OR 28 Moss FC Torpedo Spitney

Anders Boness (SEM) GK 28 Grasshoppers Gullravens
Billy Sweed HB 27 Extramarine Gullravens
Sunrise Tshabalala (SEM) CF 21 Kangemark Sp. Gullravens

Yasir Ala al-Din (WEO-BBS) OR 29 SS Skiveness Moss FC

Lucas García (WEO-TAM) OR 28 Viking Gymnasia Scold
Goulchan Omnes CF 28 Extramarine Gymnasia Scold
Arquimides (USI) CB 31 Grasshoppers Gymnasia Scold

Fingal Altimimy (COS) HB 33 Extramarine Start-93
Blez Ropars IL 23 Extramarine Start-93
Godwin Ba (WEO-ZEN) CB 29 SS Skiveness Start-93

Elatha Rule IR 27 Florence Bold Grasshopper Club

Mateo Rossini (USI/OSS) IL 24 Grasshopper Viking Tananger
Dim Bustard OL 22 Gullravens Viking Tananger

Vulpine Hughes HB 22 Start-93 Fishers Grimsea
Humiliberto (DAI) IL 30 Sukatora Sassa Fishers Grimsea


* Harald Fireblade originally signed for Extramarine but tore up his contract when they got demoted


Image
The Johnny Foreigner Report

The Low Down on our Bonesligg Migrants - Season 587
by Boldsport staff writer Johnny Foreigner

The way we play it at home is a little… rougher… and muddier… and… greasier... than the widely appreciated international variant of Association Football; in Greasy Churning, one must be prepared for a spot of wrestling. It won’t be everyone’s cup of Boney Tea, that’s for sure. So who made the switch from foreign climes with bruising grace? And who got floored on their first outing? Welcome to the Johnny Foreigner Report, your annual round-up of the Football Migrants gracing our game.



For the first time, the award has been successfully retained by the previous year's champion as classy Sunsrisian inside forward Jose Enrique continues his sparkling form to lead the dominance of SS Skiveness in the league. Lobjstein was at his best to finish third from the same team, whilst perennial contender Piet Masschelin is perhaps feeling his age a bit to drop outside the top ten for the first time, ranked 12th. The first woman to play in the modern Ligg, Cocó, hit the top ten for the first time and is a model of persistence: she's struggled for five seasons in the league but finally came good, as her managers Ez & Dav always knew she would. She finished highest ranked of all the female foreigners with a fifth-placed finish. Cosumarite Harald Fireblade at the Boldclub was the best new debutant in the Bonesligg as he came in ninth, one place ahead of Daineri Katanga, impressing on loan at Gullravens (he's registered with SS Skiveness and the Herrings must be delighted to see how he's settled in the cold north).

Johnny Foreigner Award SB-587
Jose Enrique

Inside right, SS Skiveness

Into his fifth season at The Herrings after transferring on a free from Sporting Saint Adrensburg in Semarland, so little is known of the quiet and private inside forward from before his arrival in the north, or indeed much since, that an interesting bio will be nigh impossible to write without some 'creative licence' and 'embellishment on the facts'. What we can be sure of is that the 30-year old has been a consistently impressive performer since signing for SS, holding down the inside right position and barely missing a game in five seasons, making 151 appearances and hitting 62 goals in that time to win three Ligg titles, one runner-up medal, and two Kop final appearances with one victory - and he has been massively instrumental in that dominant period. He was also second to Asteróide in the Johnny Foreigner rankings in his first season and is a deserved recipient of the award this time around, the first player to win it in two consecutive seasons.

Outside of football we know that Jose 'married' Boneswoman Shreya North two years ago ('marriage' is a loose and peculiar arrangement in Bonesea, considered a non-binding gentlepersons agreement rather than a contract) and they have an infant son Acolytus. As football is officially amateur in Bonesea, we know also that in order to attract foreign types to the country they have to take up jobs outside of the club in order to play. Often, though the clubs will deny it, these are token employment situations like paperclip counter or healthy food taster. In the case of Jose, like several of the foreign footballers, he is a paid student at the Skive Polytechnical School where he is studying for a higher diploma in marine conservation, a popular obsession in the Boreal Islands. Team-mate and good friend Lobjstein, the Huelandian half back, is on the same course and they have apparently invested in a boat, the Gullbringa, from which to conduct studies. Shreya North believes the hold of the Gullbringa is loaded with wightbeer, blotwine and cheeses, and the only studying they do is of their navels when too drunk to lift their heads. Certainly it is true the coastguard were once spotted towing the Gullbringa back into dock at Skiveness harbour, but Lobjstein claims that was due to an engine failure. This is, of course, unverified, and whilst Lobjstein certainly has a well-deserved and much admired reputation for throwing himself into the local culture of hard work, hard play, and hard intoxication by whatever means available, the same could not be confidently said of Jose Enrique who is not a man about town like his friend, and remains monstrously athletic and fit, suggesting his main preoccupation outside of churning is training for churning.

Johnny Foreigner Award Previous Winners
SB-579Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub
SB-580Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness
SB-581Leonardo Ducaldo (USI), Grasshopper Club
SB-582Adel Nzonzi (SEM), SS Skiveness
SB-583Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub (2nd award)
SB-584Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness (2nd award)
SB-585Baldomiro el Ogro (LAS), Gymnasia Scold
SB-586Jose Enrique (USI), SS Skiveness

Performance Summary*

Name			Nat.	Pos.	Club			Rating

Jose Enrique USI IR SS Skiveness 9.74
Pluto Blinkman APX HB Oysterhaven Reds 9.25
Lobjstein HUE HB SS Skiveness 8.93
Leonardo Ducaldo USI CF Grasshopper Club 8.90
Cocó USI IR Oysterhaven Reds 8.90
Nia Xon ABJ HB Oysterhaven Reds 8.76
Asteróide DAI CF Florence Boldclub 8.56
Cortysyn DAI CF Oysterhaven Reds 8.56
Harald Fireblade COS HB Florence Boldclub 8.55
Katanga DAI CB SS Skiveness 8.33 On loan at Gullravens

Anders Boness SEM GK Gullraves 8.29 Transferred from Grasshopper Club
Piet Masschelin VLG CF SS Skiveness 8.28
David Whitley USI IR Gullravens 8.18
Fingal Altimimy COS HB Start-93 8.17 Transferred from Extramarine
Axsiuu DAI IL Florence Boldclub 7.84
Erik Marlowe NPH CF Florence Boldclub 7.75
Jordi Spanya SAN GK Blue Boys FF 7.65
Sunrise Tshabalala SEM CF Gullravens 7.60
Baldomiro el Ogro LAS IL/R Gymnasia Scold 7.59
Orquerio DAI OL Blue Boys FF 7.38
Karl Boness SEM GK Gymnasia Scold 7.31
Tropicão DAI CF Viking Tananger 7.29
Zé Caramba USI GK Florence Boldclub 7.26 Transferred from Extramarine
Adel Nzonzi SEM OR Viking Tananger 7.25
Oto DAI HB Florence Boldclub 7.22
Jeronimo USI OL Grasshopper Club 6.98
Joseph Amé ABJ GK Oysterhaven Reds 6.97
Mika Paprika USI HB Grasshopper Club 6.96
Mateo Rossini USI/OSS IR/L Viking Tananger 6.91 Transferred from Grasshopper Club
Serian Osopo ABJ CF Oysterhaven Reds 6.74
Glloum FAF CF Blue Boys FF 6.72
Nemesio Adams EFL OL Gymnasia Scold 6.68
Humiliberto HUE IL Fishers Grimsea 6.61
Sham'a Ranger EFL CF Start-93 6.60
Oxto Oliviera CPV IL Blue Boys FF 6.55
Ozymandias DAI CF Torpedo Spitney 6.50
Jannick den Linds SEM HB Viking Tananger 6.45
Arichi Kunorikato USI IR Blue Boys FF 6.43
Arquimides USI CB Gymnasia Scold 6.30 Transferred from Grasshopper Club
Etel Csonka PAS OL Start-93 6.27
Shelyak DAI CB Fishers Grimsea 6.12
Tryggve Axelsson USI CB Start-93 6.12
Narahboson AES CB Fishers Grimsea 6.11
Renato Moleiro RED CB Blue Boys FF 6.05
Ravinger DAI HB Torpedo Spitney 6.04
Halle Poirier EFL OR Torpedo Spitney 5.82
Bentley Loken BJK IL Torpedo Spitney 5.74
Tanque DAI HB Torpedo Spitney 5.23
Jørgen Berthelsen USI IR Fishers Grimsea 5.20
Emily Dufort SCT CF Fishers Grimsea 5.06

Lower League Players

João Batata USI OL Athletic Spit
Hércules Menezes USI CF Athletic Spit
Banshee Arnold NPH CF Athletic Spit
Scott Balde USI GK Skelling Club
Scott Cooper SCT IL Skelling Club
Darren O'Brian SCT OL Skelling Club
Gary Hamilton SCT CB Skelling Club
Nosferatu DAI IL/R Skelling Club
Brendo Pozo AUD HB 1.FC Tocklehove
Anton Etxebarria AUD IR 1.FC Tocklehove
Schreck DAI IL 1.FC Tocklehove
Newton Milesvile MRT CB 1.FC Tocklehove
Dokkoi DAI IL 1.FC Tocklehove
Ulena Asunao ABJ CF Turbine FF Gallowsea
Ivy Herrick NPH CB Valkyr Club 1 Transferred from Torpedo Spitney
Sarah XSV IRN OR Valkyr Club 1 Transferred from Torpedo Spitney
Josefine Teagan BRE HB Valkyr Club
Claudia Kelly BRE GK Valkyr Club
Herita Mbomba SEM HB Valkyr Club
Marian Brackman BRE CF Valkyr Club
Kelpie Carrard BRE CF Valkyr Club
Mochi Yoshinami USI CF Aero Fennby
Kvetoslav Irniq ABI CF Aero Fennby
Paracoílson CPV CF Herring Club
John McDonald SCT CB Oysterhaven Reds On loan at Union Skive

* excludes players from Wide Enness Ocean region

OOC Note
I'm attempting to run one season per RL calendar month (season SB-587, here, is for September '17) based on my general rule of thumb that one RL month = one NS year (Boneytime). This will have an ageing impact on overseas players who come to Bonesea with a different ageing pattern. It may be impossible to resolve this satisfactorily with people using different interpretations of time; I'd suggest the Fluid Time refinery based in Whelm, akin to a leaky and unstable nuclear power plant, may be responsible for irregular ageing processes that will naturally be reversed with only minor medical intervention - a temporal regularisation jab and a good night's sleep - when characters return to other regions of the multiverse and spend time in more temporally stable environments. i.e. you age them as you see fit... Always open to ideas, suggestions and collaborations on this point, via TG initially.
Last edited by Bonesea on Sat Jan 20, 2018 3:30 am, edited 7 times in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Bonesea » Sat Jan 20, 2018 3:02 am

Coming soon... IAC-3 review

Image
Last edited by Bonesea on Sat Jan 20, 2018 3:29 am, edited 2 times in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-588 Round-Up

Postby Bonesea » Sat Jan 20, 2018 3:02 am

Image

Image
We Haven't Forgotten, Blue Boys!

Bonesligg-588: The Season In Review
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Dub Meadows
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

The enormous success of our award-winning print magazine, available as a responsibly-sourced paper version printed from renewable forest paper using real Bonesea squink, the best high-quality synthesised psuedo squid ink, and including fine articles, erudite commentary, award-winning photography, graphics an Audioslav would die for, the very latest scoops and the best sports journalism in the Wide Enness Ocean - if we do say so ourselves - has not translated well into our online presence, where we continue to provide fascinating data and commentary that is only about two seasons behind. In this edition we look at the uniquely unexpected season of the Bonesea symmetrical year SB-588, when a small-town team in blue stunned the churning world by marching to their first ever title, and breaking a three-team stranglehold on the Bonesligg - Florence Boldclub, Athletic St. Leah and SS Skiveness - that stretched back twelve seasons. Indeed this was the first time in twenty-eight seasons that a first-time champion was crowned, with Viking Tananger the last virgin on the throne. Tragic really that Blue Boys FF didn't get the fanfare they deserved at the time, although the more up-to-date publications including our own paper magazone would argue that, indeed, they did. However, since the entire multiverse roundly ignores all other Boney publications, the few subscribers who do read this modest online update will only now be raising an eyebrow at this stunning feat of the underdog, and in truth, it's far too late to crack open the blotwine and raise a glass in support of Blue Boys FF of Innstrand.


Image
Bonesligg Champions

Blue Boys FF
Innstranders Stun The Churning World


At the ripe old age of 74, Blue Boys FF manager Arlo Smith-Williams is the most senior of senior citizens in the Bonesligg top flight, and the second oldest manager in the whole league system after 78-year old Joll Capane at Otters Club in Ligg-4. Having spent the last 35 years managing the little club from Innstrand, this has been something of a project for the wily old fox, and having taken them from non-league and through the divisions from Ligg-4 (the lowest at the time) to the top flight in surely the slowest rise of Bonesligg history, it took him only three seasons from promotion to the title, overtaking everyone's favourite minnows, Oysterhaven Reds, by pipping them to a first championship in a season where the Reds looked unusually poor. Despite his years Arlo has been an innovator, one of the first managers outside of the top flight to look abroad for new ideas when he introduced the FAF forward Glloum with great success to the little club, and it was Glloum along with young Daineri starlet Ozymandias who shone in this title season, along with homegrown talents Hendra 'Hippo' Dipper, Talek Queens, and Bantam Rose signed from shamed giants Spittalmarine. Arlo has shown a canny eye in the transfer market over the seasons, with Glloum and Ozymandias two of his great successes but certainly not the last of them. He also brought through Boneswoman Nadia Lanescott from the club's modest academy set-up into a starting role with the team, fending off the attentions of Ivy Herrick's all-women's project Valkyr Club when so many teams lost some of their best women in the club's initial recruitment drive, which says a lot for the loyalty Arlo commands.


Image
. Bonesligg-One Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Blue Boys FF 22 12 5 5 72 58 +14 41 Oranjibol
2 Gymnasia Scold 22 10 8 4 54 40 +14 38 Blue Marble
3 SS Skiveness 22 10 7 5 62 39 +23 37 Blue Marble
4 Start-93 22 10 7 5 57 38 +19 37 Blue Marble
5 Gullravens FC 22 8 5 9 45 44 +1 29
6 Athletic St.Leah 22 7 7 8 44 52 −8 28
7 Oysterhaven Reds 22 7 5 10 36 37 −1 26
8 Florence Boldclub 22 6 8 8 52 55 −3 26
9 Fishers Grimsea 22 7 4 11 44 49 −5 25
10 Viking Tananger 22 5 9 8 47 52 −5 24
11 Moss FC 22 5 8 9 25 51 −26 23
12 Grasshopper Club 22 5 7 10 34 57 −23 22 Relegated


Image
. Bonesligg-Two Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Torpedo Spitney 22 13 4 5 65 39 +26 43 Coupe de Moutarde & promoted
2 Celtic Skein 22 11 5 6 55 33 +22 38 Coupe de Moutarde
3 Spartans FF Liarby 22 9 8 5 49 37 +12 35 Coupe de Moutarde
4 Turbine FF Gallowsea 22 9 6 7 45 42 +3 33
5 1.FC Tocklehove 22 9 5 8 49 42 +7 32
6 Skelling Club 22 8 7 7 53 48 +5 31
7 Industrial Amblesea 22 7 7 8 51 48 +3 28
8 Guillemots 22 6 8 8 52 52 0 26
9 Armada Club 22 7 5 10 48 52 −4 26
10 Combine Tamness-Nordby 22 7 5 10 30 50 −20 26
11 Academical 22 6 6 10 42 53 −11 24 Relegated
12 Turbine Moss FF 22 5 4 13 38 81 −43 19 Relegated

Image
. Bonesligg-Three Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Crows Club 22 12 6 4 51 33 +18 42 Promoted
2 Kickers FF Sand 22 11 6 5 48 36 +12 39 Promoted
3 Irsha-57 SK 22 9 7 6 40 33 +7 34
4 Rangers Tocklehove FF 22 9 5 8 49 36 +13 32
5 1.FC Bøe 22 9 4 9 37 45 −8 31
6 Hearts AFC 22 8 6 8 50 51 −1 30
7 Tundra Axle FC 22 8 5 9 50 48 +2 29
8 17.FF Tolling 22 8 5 9 40 45 −5 29
9 Banners FC Skiveness 22 8 4 10 40 42 −2 28
10 Rapid FF Kells 22 7 5 10 39 45 −6 26
11 St. Leah Gaels 22 6 8 8 41 49 −8 26 Relegated
12 Olympic Gallowsea 22 4 5 13 17 39 −22 17 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Four Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Valkyr Club 22 18 3 1 117 21 +96 57 Promoted
2 Spittalmarine 22 15 3 4 94 28 +66 48 Promoted
3 Otters Club 22 11 5 6 52 46 +6 38
4 Blackskull Club 22 10 4 8 43 53 −10 34
5 Herring Club 22 9 5 8 39 45 −6 32
6 Skullion FF 22 9 2 11 37 58 −21 29
7 Union Skive 22 5 9 8 47 58 −11 24
8 Omnibus Athletic 22 5 9 8 37 60 −23 24
9 Bonesea Air Force Club 22 6 5 11 28 44 −16 23
10 Aero Fennby 22 6 5 11 33 58 −25 23
11 Mosquitos 22 4 7 11 26 44 −18 19 Relegated
12 Dogside Works FF 22 3 5 14 31 69 −38 14 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Five Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bannerclub Clun 22 11 4 7 56 37 +19 37 Promoted
2 Nordfold Browns 22 11 4 7 45 26 +19 37 Promoted
3 FC Harbourwights 22 9 8 5 40 32 +8 35
4 Viking Spit SK 22 9 7 6 45 39 +6 34
5 Slatterness Amateur 22 10 4 8 36 38 −2 34
6 Florentine Rose 22 9 5 8 35 35 0 32
7 Washaway FC 22 8 7 7 46 45 +1 31
8 Battalion 22 7 8 7 30 36 −6 29
9 Club Zenega 22 8 2 12 40 44 −4 26
10 Bonehouse Violet 22 5 9 8 25 38 −13 24
11 Boneyrigg Lily 22 5 7 10 36 46 −10 22
12 Spittal County 22 6 3 13 27 45 −18 21 Rubbishpoon


Cumulative Re-election Record
Bonesligg-5 Rubbishpoon

588 Spittal County
587 Nordfold Browns
586 Florentine Rose
585 FC Harbourwights
584 FC Harbourwights


Image

Image
Skellingkopfinal
Torpedo Spitney 5–3 Gullravens FC H/T: 1-1
@ Orchard Field, Three Mile Island. Attendance 44,800

Goals: Dynamene Labert 4' Noah Mockingbird 55' Ruben Roche 66' Tanque 73' Tudor Guthrie '86 /
Sunrise Tshabalala 30' Pascoe Johnson 52' 83'
Player of the match: Tudor Guthrie (Torpedo)
Booked: Kite Cattran, Cnán Duck /
Svein Cawrse, Cini Argall, Sunrise Tshabalala, Utney Perren
Sent off: EY Govett (Gullravens FC, sub)


Player Ratings
Torpedo Spitney				Gullravens FC

Thrand Minkoff [8.4] Ander Boness [6.0] Match Statistics
Climo Tyree [9.0] Paddack Coffey [5.6]
Ravinger [5.6] Svein Cawrse [4.1] Poss (%): 55/45
Tanque [7.0](1) Billy Sweed [5.6] Shots: 16-11
Kite Cattran [6.6] Cini Argall [4.3] On Target: 9-6
Ruben Roche [7.0](1) Åsmund Urness [5.6] Pass Comp(%): 82-72
EA Skewes [7.5] Fester Gaul [5.8] Corners: 5-1
Cnán Duck [8.5] Sunrise Tshabalala [5.1](1) Fouls: 5-7
Dynamene Lambert [7.6](1) Pascoe Johnson [5.2](2) Yellow cards: 2-4
Tudor Guthrie [9.7](1) Utney Perren [5.4] Reds: 0-1
Lua York-Smith [8.4] Pacifique Kokolo [5.9]

Subs Used Subs Used
Noah Mockingbird [8.1](1) George Sory [5.9]
Utney Washington [ - ] EY Govett [ - ]
Pat Robinson [ - ] Sebavo [ - ]


Torpedo Bouncing Back
Torpedo Spitney 5–3 Gullravens FC

Mulfra Gerbino's newly-crowned Ligg-2 champions finished off their revival season in style with a second-half demolition of their higher league opponents, centre forward Tudor Guthrie leading the way with three assists and finishing the game off with a strike of his own to give The Goats a Kop win in a thriller of a final, with eight goals and plenty of attacking intent from both sides. Gullravens' defeat means they join Washaway FC as the second-worst Skellingkopfinal team, having lost all three finals in which they have appeared - substitute goalkeeper Sebavo and team captain Paddack Coffey are the last remaining members of the team beaten in extra time by SS Skiveness three seasons ago and they suffer the heartbreak of a second final defeat. This is a fine Torpedo side with the likes of Kite Cattran, Climo Tyree, Cnán Duck and Ruben Roche all pulling on the gold and red, along with impressive foreign imports Tanque, Ravinger and young Bentley Loken - a team that never should have found itself in the second tier; the loss of Ivy Herrick and Sarah XSV to the Valkyries had proven too great a hurdle to overcome as they dropped out of the top flight, but they have found their stride again to bounce back and take a second Kop title in their history as a bonus.


Skellingkop-1 

Golden Lion 0–8 Crows Club
Nordfold Browns 3–11 Florence Boldclub
Otters Club 4–1 Crabbers Club
Combine Tamness-Nordby 5–0 Turbine Moss FF
Omnibus Athletic 2–2 Terrier Club (2–2 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Celts Club 0–0 Basques (1–0 AET)
Hemness Nuclear 1–0 Discordian Wanderers
Torpedo Spitney 9–0 Gargoyles Club
Guillemots 1–1 Spite Rovers (1–1 AET) (3–1 pen.)
Battalion 1–3 Viking Hallingby SK
Grasshopper Club 0–0 Hearts AFC (0–0 AET) (6–7 pen.)
Valkyr Club 10–0 FC Berserkr
Rise Thistle 1–3 Viking Spit SK
United Altafriqana 0–7 17.FF Tolling
St. Leah Gaels 1–5 Viking Tananger
Bleary Athletic 0–0 SSC Ringdale (1–1 AET) (3–1 pen.)
Combined Varsity Athletics Union 0–7 Rapid FF Kells
Banners FC Skiveness 0–0 Gargantua (2–0 AET)
Tundra Axle FC 3–9 Start-93
Turbine FF Gallowsea 1–0 Heralds Club
Spit City 1–5 Slatterness Amateur
FTK Whelm 0–13 Athletic St.Leah
Captain Amble FC 1–0 Sandness FC
Skullharrow Jets 0–1 Murrow FC
Mission Sparta 1–1 Gallowsea Ramblers (1–1 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Tolga Maroons 3–1 Scotvik FF
Longby SS 0–3 Gymnasia Scold
Bonesea Air Force Club 2–2 Penchant & District (3–3 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Spartans FF Liarby 6–1 Tundra FC
Angaby FF 2–3 Dial Tavern Brawlers
UZZZR Exiles Club 0–2 Refugee Club
Oysterhaven Reds 6–0 Admiral Cossentine
Celtic Skein 4–1 Tamarindian Club
Blue Boys FF 5–0 Spittal County
Mosquitos 1–4 Bannerclub Clun
Orchids 0–0 Gannet FC (0–0 AET) (2–1 pen.)
FC Harbourwights 1–0 Tolling Orient
Coffin Island Rangers 0–1 East Spit Casuals FC
Bonehouse Violet 1–1 Bonesea Mountain Rescue AC (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Vetting Islanders 2–1 Moss Whalers
Tunns Club 1–3 Dockyard Peloton
SS Hammerdale 1–0 Spit Whistle Club
Union Skive 2–0 SCB-Alliance
Industrial Amblesea 1–7 Blackskull Club
Herring Club 1–1 Irsha-57 SK (1–1 AET) (7–8 pen.)
Armada Club 0–0 AirBone SSC (2–0 AET)
Skelling Club 1–3 Aero Fennby
Moss FC 1–0 Dogside Works FF
Moss Thistle FC 0–6 Gullravens FC
Lundsea Pier FC 1–1 SS Skaya (1–1 AET) (8–9 pen.)
Washaway FC 0–1 Saltby Town
Strand Rose 4–3 Club Zenega
Spittalmarine 5–0 Tugboat Marines FC
Olympic Gallowsea 1–2 Boneyrigg Lily
Neskullen Argyle 1–0 Gullmarket Isambards
Skullion FF 0–0 Red Orca (0–0 AET) (5–4 pen.)
Stingrays 1–6 Kickers FF Sand
1.FC Tocklehove 3–0 Clunwardine Leopard
Rangers Tocklehove FF 0–1 Solomon FC
Oyna & Gritting Combine 0–11 SS Skiveness
1.FC Bøe 12–0 Shale Athletics Union
Scold Thunder FC 4–2 Academical
SS Spittalsea 0–0 Florentine Rose (1–2 AET)
Fishers Grimsea 7–1 Combine FF Pikefells

Skellingkop-2

Crows Club 4–4 Florence Boldclub (5–6 AET)
Otters Club 1–0 Combine Tamness-Nordby
Omnibus Athletic 5–1 Celts Club
Hemness Nuclear 0–3 Torpedo Spitney
Guillemots 8–0 Viking Hallingby SK
Hearts AFC 1–5 Valkyr Club
Viking Spit SK 0–1 17.FF Tolling
Viking Tananger 7–0 Bleary Athletic
Rapid FF Kells 1–3 Banners FC Skiveness
Start-93 6–0 Turbine FF Gallowsea
Slatterness Amateur 1–3 Athletic St.Leah
Captain Amble FC 1–0 Murrow FC
Mission Sparta 2–1 Tolga Maroons
Gymnasia Scold 3–1 Bonesea Air Force Club
Spartans FF Liarby 7–1 Dial Tavern Brawlers
Refugee Club 0–2 Oysterhaven Reds
Celtic Skein 0–1 Blue Boys FF
Bannerclub Clun 3–0 Orchids
FC Harbourwights 0–1 East Spit Casuals FC
Bonesea Mountain Rescue AC 1–0 Vetting Islanders
Dockyard Peloton 0–1 SS Hammerdale
Union Skive 1–6 Blackskull Club
Irsha-57 SK 2–6 Armada Club
Aero Fennby 3–15 Moss FC
Gullravens FC 6–0 SS Skaya
Saltby Town 2–0 Strand Rose
Spittalmarine 5–0 Boneyrigg Lily
Neskullen Argyle 1–3 Skullion FF
Kickers FF Sand 5–3 1.FC Tocklehove
Solomon FC 0–3 SS Skiveness
1.FC Bøe 6–4 Scold Thunder FC
Florentine Rose 1–6 Fishers Grimsea

Skellingkop-3

Florence Boldclub 3–0 Otters Club
Omnibus Athletic 3–5 Torpedo Spitney
Guillemots 1–5 Valkyr Club
17.FF Tolling 5–1 Viking Tananger
Banners FC Skiveness 0–5 Start-93
Athletic St.Leah 9–0 Captain Amble FC
Mission Sparta 0–4 Gymnasia Scold
Spartans FF Liarby 1–1 Oysterhaven Reds (1–1 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Blue Boys FF 11–1 Bannerclub Clun
East Spit Casuals FC 0–0 Bonesea Mountain Rescue AC (0–1 AET)
SS Hammerdale 1–3 Blackskull Club
Armada Club 1–1 Moss FC (2–2 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Gullravens FC 8–0 Saltby Town
Spittalmarine 3–0 Skullion FF
Kickers FF Sand 0–0 SS Skiveness (0–0 AET) (3–2 pen.)
1.FC Bøe 0–0 Fishers Grimsea (0–1 AET)

Skellingkop-4

Florence Boldclub 0–1 Torpedo Spitney
Valkyr Club 6–2 17.FF Tolling
Start-93 2–0 Athletic St.Leah
Gymnasia Scold 1–1 Oysterhaven Reds (1–2 AET)
Blue Boys FF 8–0 Bonesea Mountain Rescue AC
Blackskull Club 3–5 Moss FC
Gullravens FC 5–1 Spittalmarine
Kickers FF Sand 1–3 Fishers Grimsea

Skellingkop-5

Torpedo Spitney 1–1 Valkyr Club (3–2 AET)
Start-93 3–5 Oysterhaven Reds
Blue Boys FF 0–0 Moss FC (1–0 AET)
Gullravens FC 3–1 Fishers Grimsea

Skellingkop-6

Torpedo Spitney 5–1 Oysterhaven Reds
Blue Boys FF 1–5 Gullravens FC

Skellingkopfinal

Torpedo Spitney 5–3 Gullravens FC


Image
Juvenligg-N Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Young Refugees FC 24 13 4 7 73 36 +37 43
2 Gulls u19 24 13 4 7 54 34 +20 43
3 Chavo 24 11 8 5 54 35 +19 41
4 Start u19 24 11 4 9 51 51 0 37
5 Orphanage FC 24 8 3 13 50 54 −4 27
6 Young Fishers 24 7 2 15 29 56 −27 23
7 Grasshopper u19 24 6 5 13 31 76 −45 23

Image
Juvenligg-E Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Red Boys 24 13 8 3 74 54 +20 47
2 Young Offenders FC 24 11 6 7 46 39 +7 39
3 Centre For Excellence 24 10 3 11 47 48 −1 33
4 Orient 24 8 8 8 46 49 −3 32
5 Gymnasia u19 24 8 7 9 44 46 −2 31
6 Celtic u19 24 9 4 11 56 60 −4 31
7 Junior Blues 24 4 6 14 29 46 −17 18

Image
Juvenligg-S Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Juvenil 24 12 3 9 60 45 +15 39
2 Valkyr SK 24 10 9 5 37 36 +1 39
3 Viking Youth 24 9 10 5 52 44 +8 37
4 Young Kickers 24 8 8 8 33 33 0 32
5 Latiñeros 24 6 11 7 54 46 +8 29
6 Sparta 24 6 10 8 51 58 −7 28
7 Combine u19 24 4 7 13 23 48 −25 19

Image
Juvenligg-W Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bold Youth 24 12 6 6 55 32 +23 42
2 Young Folk FC 24 11 8 5 51 34 +17 41
3 Ocean Cadets 24 11 4 9 57 51 +6 37
4 Rigger Monkeys 24 10 4 10 54 52 +2 34
5 Three Mile Academy 24 8 10 6 44 42 +2 34
6 Torpedo Juniors 24 6 5 13 40 58 −18 23
7 Turbine u19 24 4 7 13 39 71 −32 19


Image
Round of Sixteen

Red Boys 2–0 Orient
Young Folk FC 1–0 Ocean Cadets
Juvenil 1–0 Start u19
Young Offenders FC 1–0 Viking Youth
Valkyr SK 1–1 Chavo (1–2 AET)
Bold Youth 1–3 Rigger Monkeys
Gulls u19 1–0 Centre For Excellence
Young Refugees FC 1–0 Young Kickers

Quarterfinals

Red Boys 0–1 Young Folk FC
Juvenil 1–3 Young Offenders FC
Chavo 1–0 Rigger Monkeys
Gulls u19 1–3 Young Refugees FC

Semifinals

Young Folk FC 1–1 Young Offenders FC (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Chavo 3–0 Young Refugees FC

Juvenliggfinal.

Young Folk FC 1–2 Chavo[/b]



Awards & Records
Season-587

Champions:	Blue Boys FF (1st title)
Runners-Up: Gymnasia Scold
Third Place: SS Skiveness

Kop Winners: Torpedo Spitney (1st title, 2nd final)
Runners-Up: Gullravens FC (4th final)

Taxhavn Colour Cups Qualifications

Oranjibol: Blue Boys FF
Blue Marble: Gymnasia Scold
SS Skiveness
Start-93
C.de Moutarde: Torpedo Spitney
Celtic Skein
Spartans FF Liarby
Duck Cup: Torpedo Spitney

ExtraKop-588: Blue Boys FF vs. Torpedo Spitney
(Super Cup season opener)

Lower Ligg Champions

Bonesligg-2: Torpedo Spitney
Bonesligg-3: Crows Club
Bonesligg-4: Valkyr Club
Bonesligg-5: Bannerclub Clun
Spittaligg-A: SS Spittalsea

National Youth League
Champions: Chavo (1.FC Tocklehove)
Runners-Up: Young Folk FC (Athletic St. Leah)
Juvenligg-N: Young Refugees FC
Juvenligg-E: Red Boys
Juvenligg-S: Juvenil
Juvenligg-W: Bold Youth

Player Awards

Fellows Award: Cleon Jay Scopps (SS Skiveness)
(Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Nacho Zambrano (WEO-TAM; SS Skiveness)
Third Place: Éanna Sixto (Gymnasia Scold)

Bonesligg-2: Climo Tyree (Torpedo Spitney)
Bonesligg-3: Ray McCleave (Crows Club)
Bonesligg-4: Ivy Herrick (NPH; Valkyr Club)
Bonesligg-5: Bloodshot Jones (Bannerclub Clun)

J.Foreigner: Ozymandias (DAI; Blue Boys FF)
(Foreign Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Glloum (FAF; Blue Boys FF)
Third Place: Narahboson (AES; Fishers Grimsea)

Golden Boot: Nacho Zambrano (WEO-TAM; SS Skiveness) 19 goals
Runner-Up: Glloum (FAF; Blue Boys FF) 18

Bonesligg-2: Cnán Duck (Torpedo Spitney) 22
Bonesligg-3: Vojislav Pitalisharo (ABI; Crows Club) 17
Bonesligg-4: Sham'a Ranger (EFL; Valkyr Club) 36
Bonesligg-5: St.Mawe Golley (Bannerclub Clun) 23

Golden Glove: Lamonaco (Oysterhaven Reds)
Runner-Up: Karl Boness (SEM; Gymnasia Scold)

Bonesligg-2: Pendogget Parrera (Celtic Skein)
Bonesligg-3: WR Germoe (Crows Club)
Bonesligg-4: Claudia Kelly (BRE; Valkyr Club)
Bonesligg-5: Kairaba Jammeh (WEO-ZEN; Nordfold Browns)

Young Fella: Hockey Boscoppa-Cropper (SS Skiveness) 17 years
(Young Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Ozymandias (DAI; Blue Boys FF) 18
Third Place: Harald Fireblade (COS; Florence Boldclub) 20

Bonesligg-2: Bentley Loken (BJK; Torpedo Spitney) 18
Bonesligg-3: Coda Cragmartin (Crows Club) 16
Bonesligg-4: Cleo Stilt (Valkyr Club) 18
Bonesligg-5: Iachima Smith (Bannerclub Clun) 19
Juvenligg: Korbinian Foxstone (BSE/NPH) 18

Argångaward: Arlo Smith-Williams (Blue Boys FF)
(Coach of The Season)
Runner-Up: Wellard Corfe (Gymnasia Scold)

Bonesligg-2: Mulfra Gerbino (Torpedo Spitney)
Bonesligg-3: Donngal Hicks (Crows Club)
Bonesligg-4: Ivy Herrick (NPH; Valkyr Club)
Bonesligg-5: Idless Jones (Bannerclub Clun)


Fellows Award: The Player of The Season
Cleon Jay Scopps

A former young offender and ragamuffin who enjoyed a good brawl and good drinking, he was in and out of the Young Offenders Institute on Skive Island where he came to the attention of SS Skiveness. But seemingly unwilling to mend his ways, the recidivist was apparently doomed to a life of crime and punishment until he ran into the Bonesea Armada recruiting crew one dark night in Skiveness, and found himself signed up to the Bonesea Submarine of the Armada, Uttermost, a coastal patrol boat that happened to be moored in the dock at the time. The strict regimen of the Armada and his delight at serving in a small claustrophobic tube at the bottom of the cold dark sea have turned him around, and now the reformed character is a career submariner with pretty handy churning skills.

Fellows Award Previous Winners
SB-574Toribio Gallo (TAM), Viking Tananger
SB-575Conchobar Wickett, Spittalmarine
SB-576Des Jeruselem (BSE/QUE), Florence Boldclub
SB-577Nobb Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-578Reskadinnick Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-579Reskadinnick Jones (2), Athletic Spit
SB-580Tuw Turk, Florence Boldclub
SB-581Ursell Grayse-Lennox, SS Skiveness
SB-582Nobb Jones (2), Athletic Spit
SB-583Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub
SB-584Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness
SB-585Ogma Codd, Gymnasia Scold
SB-586Ursell Grayse-Lennox, SS Skiveness (2)
SB-586Jose Enrique (USI), SS Skiveness


Ligg-1 Team of The Season

No.	Pos.	Name		Team
1. GK. Lamonaco Oysterhaven Reds
2. CB. Narahboson (AES) Fishers Grimsea
3. HB. Nadia Lanescott Blue Boys FF
4. HB. Pluto Blinkman (APX) Oysterhaven Reds
5. OL. Cleon Jay Scopps SS Skiveness
6. OR. Hockey Bos-Cropper SS Skiveness
7. IL. Idaios Clapp SS Skiveness
8. CF. Éanna Sixto Gymnasia Scold
9. CF. Nacho Zambrano (TAM) SS Skiveness
10. CF. Glloum (FAF) Blue Boys FF
11. IR. A. Kunorikato (USI) Blue Boys FF


Image
The Johnny Foreigner Report

The Low Down on our Bonesligg Migrants - Season 588
by Boldsport staff writer Johnny Foreigner

The way we play it at home is a little… rougher… and muddier… and… greasier... than the widely appreciated international variant of Association Football; in Greasy Churning, one must be prepared for a spot of wrestling. It won’t be everyone’s cup of Boney Tea, that’s for sure. So who made the switch from foreign climes with bruising grace? And who got floored on their first outing? Welcome to the Johnny Foreigner Report, your annual round-up of the Football Migrants gracing our game.


Johnny Foreigner Award SB-587
Ozymandias

Centre Forward, Blue Boys FF

A surprise choice for the tenth Johnny Foreigner Award, young Ozymandias had an undeniably decent season as an unexpected breakthrough when expected to be back-up to the impressive FAF striker Glloum, a fans favourite. But getting an early start when regular Fursa Quinn picked up a long-term injury, he settled in the side and went on to score an impressive fifteen goals in twenty games in the title campaign, forming a dangerous partnership with his mentor Glloum. Signed from Torpedo Spitney where he spent one season in their relegation campaign before requesting a move, wily fox Arlo Smith-Williams picked him up before anyone else could get in there and proved an a key signing. The Daineri had previously moved on a free to The Goats from hometown side Caloros D'Aer, where he emerged from their junior ranks. He is a natural captain and graceful competitor, looking set to lead a golden age for Blue Boys with Glloum coming to the end of his peak years and assuming the little club from Innstrand can hold on to him - but coach Arlo is a specialist at engendering loyalty in his ranks, so one might expect him to stay for years to come.

Johnny Foreigner Award Previous Winners
SB-579Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub
SB-580Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness
SB-581Leonardo Ducaldo (USI), Grasshopper Club
SB-582Adel Nzonzi (SEM), SS Skiveness
SB-583Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub (2nd award)
SB-584Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness (2nd award)
SB-585Baldomiro el Ogro (LAS), Gymnasia Scold
SB-586Jose Enrique (USI), SS Skiveness
SB-587Jose Enrique (USI), SS Skiveness (2nd award)

Performance Summary*

OOC Note
I'm attempting to run one season per RL calendar month (season SB-588, here, is for October '17) based on my general rule of thumb that one RL month = one NS year (Boneytime). This will have an ageing impact on overseas players who come to Bonesea with a different ageing pattern. It may be impossible to resolve this satisfactorily with people using different interpretations of time; I'd suggest the Fluid Time refinery based in Whelm, akin to a leaky and unstable nuclear power plant, may be responsible for irregular ageing processes that will naturally be reversed with only minor medical intervention - a temporal regularisation jab and a good night's sleep - when characters return to other regions of the multiverse and spend time in more temporally stable environments. i.e. you age them as you see fit... Always open to ideas, suggestions and collaborations on this point, via TG initially.
Last edited by Bonesea on Sat Jan 20, 2018 3:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

User avatar
Bonesea
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 431
Founded: Apr 03, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-589 Round-Up

Postby Bonesea » Sat Jan 20, 2018 3:02 am

Image

Image
Catching Up In Grand Fashion

Bonesligg-589: The Season In Review
By Boldsport chief sports writer, Dub Meadows
stats & numbers crunched by Forgael Whitethrush

The enormous success of our award-winning print magazine, available as a responsibly-sourced paper version printed from renewable forest paper using real Bonesea squink, the best high-quality synthesised psuedo squid ink, and including fine articles, erudite commentary, award-winning photography, graphics an Audioslav would die for, the very latest scoops and the best sports journalism in the Wide Enness Ocean - if we do say so ourselves - has not translated well into our online presence, where we continue to provide fascinating data and commentary that is only about a full season behind the actual news. In this edition we look at the uniquely unexpected season of the Bonesea symmetrical year SB-589, when a small-town team in red stunned the churning world by marching to their first ever title, continuing the precedent set by last season's unheralded first time winners, Blue Boys FF, haling from Innstrand. Indeed this was the first time ever that a first-time champion was crowned two seasons on the bounce. Since the entire multiverse roundly ignores all other Boney publications, the few subscribers who do read this modest online update will now be raising an eyebrow at how much of this paragraph is cut and pasted from last season, whilst simultaneously admiring this stunning feat of the underdog - although in truth, it's far too late to crack open the blotwine and raise a glass in support of the Reds of Oysterhaven.


Image
Bonesligg Champions

Oysterhaven Reds
Pearls From The Isle of Skive


For the second season in a row we have a brand new champion of Bonesea, as the Audioslav management team of Escobar de Cabanyas and Davin de Valle - Ez & Dav - led the Reds to a much anticipated title, specialising in the rejuvenation of stagnant careers and the maximisation of talent from a limited pool of distinctly glamour-free footballers. Add to that some young talent coming through, and you have all the ingredients for an impressive title and Oysterhaven’s first shot at the Champions Cup.

Qualifying in the bracket of revitalised players were the rotating centrebacks of Eméric Forge - who went stale at SS after the departure of Ez & Dav and found himself down the leagues at feeder club Banners FC, and refugee from the collapse of Extramarine, Vinachê Mbiwa. Also in from Marine was Waterloo Austin - finally reaching some potential - while a number of players followed Forge to reunite with the Audioslavs and bringing a new spring to their step - Sunrisian Cocó, Medician Adrián Larin, and the outstanding Zenegalese winger Junior Abessou: all players that looked like their top flight careers were done before joining the Reds. Add to that the Tocklehove and Athletic outside right Faolan MacAomalain, who had promised so much and delivered so little, and former international rising star fallen on barren times Cerebral Siskin, here are eight players who can thank the Audioslavs for bringing their careers back to life. Then there are the workaday unheard-ofs who have hugely impressed, including a trio of Abajan imports that have lit up the Ligg - halfback Nia Xon, keeper Joseph Amé and prolific striker Serian Osopo; while Boney strikers John-Beef Caspar and Noah Twite-Flushing, both plucked from the lower leagues, look far greater than the sum of their parts. Add in impressive youngsters Coan Littlegrebe, Nala Slenderbill, Menadue Crackington, Corinne Jones and Sturla Liskeard; and old Reds favourites Lamonaco, Radoslav Hanak & Bretannion Smith and you almost have a championship winning team. Almost.

And then there is Pluto Blinkman. The rangy Apoxi giant was just so impressive in defence that he has breezed to the Johnny Foreigner Award and really in the eyes of many was better than the Fellows Award player of the season team-mate Junior Abessou, and should have had a clean sweep of the prizes. As it is, the young man is widely now consider in the top five best players in the league at the tender (local) age of 20. Already the captain of the team, he led the Reds to a dominant season, recovering from the disappointment of a relatively low 7th placed finish the season before, to take their first title, one promised when the Audioslav coaches first signed for the club and took them into the top flight for the first time in their history four seasons ago. For Ez & Dav this is their third title across two clubs - throw in two Kop wins as well and the storied pair are now surely the best management outfit operating in the Bonesligg. It seems unlikely the Reds will throw all that away after the fashion of near rivals SS Skiveness, who found the pair impossible to work with. The dark days of their disastrous seven game stint at the Bolclub are now well and truly behind them.


Image
. Bonesligg-One Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Oysterhaven Reds 22 13 3 6 49 31 +18 42 UICA-CC
2 SS Skiveness 22 12 4 6 66 45 +21 40 UICA-CC
3 Florence Boldclub 22 12 3 7 56 37 +19 39 UICA-GC
4 Torpedo Spitney 22 9 10 3 44 33 +11 37 UICA-GC
5 Athletic St.Leah 22 10 4 8 48 41 +7 34 UICA-GC
6 Moss FC 22 8 6 8 36 37 −1 30
7 Start-93 22 7 5 10 47 46 +1 26
8 Gullravens FC 22 7 5 10 39 48 −9 26
9 Fishers Grimsea 22 7 5 10 39 49 −10 26
10 Viking Tananger 22 6 6 10 36 48 −12 24
11 Blue Boys FF 22 6 5 11 41 67 −26 23
12 Gymnasia Scold 22 5 4 13 32 51 −19 19 Relegated


With an extra slot available for the Champions Cup, largely due to the relatively impressive performance of Kenny Rising's SS Skiveness in the previous two editions, it seems largely fitting that his team take the second spot behind their upstart neighbours, while the usual suspects of the capital trio Florence Boldclub, Athletic St. Leah and Torpedo Spitney all make the Globe Cup spots for a familiar-looking line-up. Reigning champions Blue Boys FF had a disastrous title defence, threatening for much of the season to get themselves relegated while the team that came in second behind them, the much fancied Gymnasia Scold, actually did just that. They will be missed in the top flight next season for the first time in over thirty years, being one of the old greats.

The Gym will be replaced in the top flight by Ifni Anderssen's surprise package, Industrial Amblesea - appearing in the top flight for the first time and hoping to emulate fellow Isle of Skivers Oysterhaven Reds, who since arriving at the top of the pyramid have won both the Skellingkop and now the Bonesligg. Former Ligg-1 heavyweights Grasshopper Club, 1.FC Tocklehove and Turbine FF Gallowsea all find the return trip a little too much, trailing in Industria's wake along with perenial challengers Celtic Skein. At the bottom, former Ligg-3 champions Crows Club finding the going too tough in the higher division, and drop straight back down again with Guillemots.

Image
. Bonesligg-Two Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Industrial Amblesea 22 12 6 4 55 36 +19 42 UICA-SBCC & promoted
2 Grasshopper Club 22 11 6 5 58 44 +14 39 UICA-SBCC
3 1.FC Tocklehove 22 11 5 6 56 35 +21 38 UICA-SBCC
4 Turbine FF Gallowsea 22 11 5 6 50 37 +13 38
5 Celtic Skein 22 11 5 6 47 38 +9 38
6 Combine Tamness-Nordby 22 9 6 7 66 51 +15 33
7 Armada Club 22 8 3 11 30 37 −7 27
8 Skelling Club 22 7 5 10 45 43 +2 26
9 Spartans FF Liarby 22 6 7 9 36 58 −22 25
10 Kickers FF Sand 22 5 7 10 42 53 −11 22
11 Crows Club 22 6 3 13 36 60 −24 21 Relegated
12 Guillemots 22 3 6 13 28 57 −29 15 Relegated




Bonesligg Lower Divisions Summary
As they did in Ligg-5 and Ligg-4, Valkyr Club and Spittalmarine contested for the Ligg-3 title in their rapid rise up the divisions, and once again it was the all-women's club, Valkyries, who prevailed to win a third consecutive divisional title. But it was notable that both teams found the going a lot harder this season, with 1.FC Bøe running them both close in the promotion race to finish only a point outside of the top two. Two of the larger lower league teams in AFC Hearts and Rangers Tocklehove FF both had poor seasons to drop into the fourth tier.

Image
. Bonesligg-Three Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Valkyr Club 22 13 8 1 79 30 +49 47 Promoted
2 Spittalmarine 22 13 2 7 71 36 +35 41 Promoted
3 1.FC Bøe 22 12 4 6 46 31 +15 40
4 17.FF Tolling 22 8 9 5 48 35 +13 33
5 Banners FC Skiveness 22 9 4 9 50 57 −7 31
6 Rapid FF Kells 22 7 8 7 41 44 −3 29
7 Tundra Axle FC 22 7 6 9 41 44 −3 27
8 Academical 22 6 9 7 39 42 −3 27
9 Turbine Moss FF 22 6 7 9 41 54 −13 25
10 Irsha-57 SK 22 6 5 11 35 49 −14 23
11 Hearts AFC 22 5 6 11 30 70 −40 21 Relegated
12 Rangers Tocklehove FF 22 3 6 13 37 66 −29 15 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Four Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Skullion FF 22 10 9 3 34 19 +15 39 Promoted
2 St. Leah Gaels 22 11 6 5 41 31 +10 39 Promoted
3 Otters Club 22 10 7 5 59 44 +15 37
4 Aero Fennby 22 11 3 8 40 32 +8 36
5 Omnibus Athletic 22 6 12 4 39 33 +6 30
6 Union Skive 22 7 8 7 48 50 −2 29
7 Olympic Gallowsea 22 7 6 9 26 44 −18 27
8 Herring Club 22 7 5 10 38 34 +4 26
9 Blackskull Club 22 6 6 10 49 42 +7 24
10 Bannerclub Clun 22 6 5 11 31 46 −15 23
11 Bonesea Air Force Club 22 5 8 9 29 48 −19 23 Relegated
12 Nordfold Browns 22 5 7 10 24 35 −11 22 Relegated

Image
Bonesligg-Five Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Slatterness Amateur 22 12 2 8 30 26 +4 38 Promoted
2 Spittal County 22 9 10 3 39 17 +22 37 Promoted
3 Viking Spit SK 22 10 7 5 36 18 +18 37
4 Mosquitos 22 10 6 6 30 24 +6 36
5 Boneyrigg Lily 22 10 2 10 31 34 −3 32
6 Dogside Works FF 22 7 10 5 22 21 +1 31
7 FC Harbourwights 22 7 10 5 26 26 0 31
8 Battalion 22 8 6 8 27 28 −1 30
9 Washaway FC 22 6 8 8 41 45 −4 26
10 Club Zenega 22 6 5 11 34 43 −9 23
11 Florentine Rose 22 3 12 7 19 30 −11 21
12 Bonehouse Violet 22 2 6 14 18 41 −23 12 Rubbishpoon


Cumulative Re-election Record
Bonesligg-5 Rubbishpoon

589 Bonehouse Violet
588 Spittal County
587 Nordfold Browns
586 Florentine Rose
585 FC Harbourwights


Image

Image
Skellingkopfinal
Fishers Grimsea 5–2 Start-93 H/T: 4-1
@ Orchard Field, Threemilestone Island. Attendance 44,800

Goals: Shilling Gramm 2' 25' 31' Narahboson 4' Dowan Glass 75' /
Gunna Capsize 8' Calvo Jones-Watergate 68'
Player of the match: Shilling Gramm
Booked: Vulpine Hughes, Huddy Hugus / Tryggve Axelsson, Atlanta Moran
Sent off: Gunna Capsize (Start-93)


Player Ratings
Fishers Grimsea			Gullravens FC

Júlis Svabo [8.6] Duald Dunbar [5.9] Match Statistics
Narahboson [8.4](1) Tryggve Axelsson [5.6]
Dowan Glass [9.3](1) Fingal Altimimy [3.1] Poss (%): 68/32
Vulpine Hughes [9.3] Oran Swan [6.0] Shots: 25-14
Tregue Mawgan [9.2] Calvo Jones-Watergate [5.9](1) On Target: 12-6
Patrick Burscogh [9.3] Osric Bunker [4.7] Pass Comp(%): 82-65
Huddy Hugus [9.2] Blez Ropars [4.1] Corners: 10-0
Othergates O'Sullivan [9.0] Atlanta Moran [5.5] Fouls: 12-15
Shilling Gramm [10-](3) Proteus [4.8] Yellow cards: 2-2
Castor Saltash [9.8] Gunna Capsize [5.7](1) Reds: 0-1
Jørgen Berthelsen [9.7] Etienne Fuentes [3.1]

Subs Used Subs Used
Deveral Eagles [8.1] Peiros Mankey [3.1]
Sully Gueye [9.6] Aidan Laughingull [5.4]
Emily Dufort [8.2]


Fishers Blow Geese Off Course as Start Capsize The Boat
Fishers Grimsea 5–2 Start-93

Fishers won their second title and condemned Start to their first final defeat in what might be viewed as the battle for the ‘best of the rest’ title, with all the main Ligg contenders eliminated from the Kop before the semi-finals. A magnificent hat-trick from Shilling Gramm, who won a Kop title with The Gym back in ’84, was the first cup-winning treble since Toribio Gallo’s famous demolition of Spittalmarine fourteen years ago for Viking Tananger. Like Gallo, Gramm is sure now to enter into the eternal folklore of the small north-western club who, under manager Artigan Smith, have been punching well above their weight for years and have finally got some silverware as just reward for their efforts.

The game was more or less over by half time with both sides racing out of the blocks, Gramm getting his first inside two minutes and local legend Narahboson, the Aesir defender, doubling the lead before five minutes had passed on the clock. Wonderkid Gunna Capsize pulled one back after eight minutes to settle things down a little and keep the Geese in the game, but when Gramm added his second and third before the half hour was up, just about everyone knew the Kop title was now beyond the reach of Buccus Hike’s team. A Calvo Jones-Watergate strike midway through the second half briefly pulled Start back into sight of their divisional mid-table rivals, but when Capsize was sent off for a high tackle on Vulpine Hughes, there was no coming back for the Geese. Dowan Glass hit a fifth to complete the rout and send the Kop to one of the remotest parts of the country outside of the highlands.


Skellingkop-1

Athletic St.Leah 2–1 Spartans FF Liarby
Tolling Orient 0–1 Gargantua
Turbine FF Gallowsea 2–0 Spittal County
Viking Hallingby SK 0–3 Guillemots
Fishers Grimsea 6–0 Stingrays
Refugee Club 1–1 Golden Lion (2–1 AET)
Scold Thunder FC 1–0 Crows Club
Spit Whistle Club 0–0 Bannerclub Clun (0–0 AET) (5–4 pen.)
Rangers Tocklehove FF 1–1 Mosquitos (2–1 AET)
Longby SS 0–1 Herring Club
AirBone SSC 3–2 Clunwardine Leopard
Dial Tavern Brawlers 0–2 Tugboat Marines FC
Mission Sparta 0–1 Moss Thistle FC
Boneyrigg Lily 2–3 Dockyard Peloton
Celtic Skein 1–1 Gargoyles Club (3–1 AET)
Rise Thistle 0–3 St. Leah Gaels
Skullion FF 3–0 Lundsea Pier FC
Bleary Athletic 1–1 Gullmarket Isambards (1–2 AET)
Tamarindian Club 2–2 Terrier Club (3–2 AET)
Moss Whalers 2–2 Admiral Cossentine (2–2 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Washaway FC 1–0 Oyna & Gritting Combine
Olympic Gallowsea 3–0 Neskullen Argyle
Club Zenega 1–1 SSC Ringdale (1–1 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Dogside Works FF 1–1 East Spit Casuals FC (2–1 AET)
SS Spittalsea 2–2 Solomon FC (2–2 AET) (3–2 pen.)
Bonehouse Violet 0–6 Torpedo Spitney
Viking Spit SK 1–0 Academical
Crabbers Club 0–2 17.FF Tolling
Shale Athletics Union 2–3 Hemness Nuclear
Industrial Amblesea 4–0 UZZZR Exiles Club
SS Skaya 0–2 Banners FC Skiveness
Florence Boldclub 4–1 Armada Club
Hearts AFC 2–1 Combined Varsity Athletics Union
Vetting Islanders 2–2 Captain Amble FC (2–2 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Moss FC 3–0 Gannet FC
Union Skive 0–3 Combine Tamness-Nordby
Gallowsea Ramblers 2–2 Penchant & District (2–2 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Scotvik FF 1–1 Combine FF Pikefells (2–2 AET) (4–2 pen.)
1.FC Bøe 1–0 Skelling Club
Tundra Axle FC 1–0 Nordfold Browns
Grasshopper Club 4–1 SS Hammerdale
Turbine Moss FF 3–0 SCB-Alliance
Tundra FC 3–0 Heralds Club
Spittalmarine 4–0 Celts Club
Rapid FF Kells 2–0 FTK Whelm
Battalion 3–0 FC Berserkr
Orchids 0–3 Valkyr Club
Coffin Island Rangers 0–3 Irsha-57 SK
Viking Tananger 3–2 Sandness FC
Spit City 1–2 Spite Rovers
Saltby Town 0–2 Tolga Maroons
FC Harbourwights 1–0 Gullravens FC
Aero Fennby 0–0 Strand Rose (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Discordian Wanderers 2–6 Bonesea Air Force Club
Red Orca 0–2 Kickers FF Sand
Angaby FF 0–1 Start-93
Oysterhaven Reds 2–0 United Altafriqana
Bonesea Mountain Rescue AC 0–1 Florentine Rose
Skullharrow Jets 0–1 Blackskull Club
Gymnasia Scold 0–1 Blue Boys FF
Omnibus Athletic 1–0 Otters Club
Slatterness Amateur 1–1 Basques (2–1 AET)
Murrow FC 0–5 1.FC Tocklehove
Tunns Club 0–6 SS Skiveness

Skellingkop-2

Athletic St.Leah 4–0 Gargantua
Turbine FF Gallowsea 6–3 Guillemots
Fishers Grimsea 3–1 Refugee Club
Scold Thunder FC 0–2 Spit Whistle Club
Rangers Tocklehove FF 3–0 Herring Club
AirBone SSC 0–2 Tugboat Marines FC
Moss Thistle FC 0–0 Dockyard Peloton (1–0 AET)
Celtic Skein 1–0 St. Leah Gaels
Skullion FF 4–0 Gullmarket Isambards
Tamarindian Club 1–0 Admiral Cossentine
Washaway FC 0–1 Olympic Gallowsea
Club Zenega 1–1 Dogside Works FF (1–1 AET) (2–1 pen.)
SS Spittalsea 0–8 Torpedo Spitney
Viking Spit SK 0–3 17.FF Tolling
Hemness Nuclear 2–2 Industrial Amblesea (2–4 AET)
Banners FC Skiveness 0–1 Florence Boldclub
Hearts AFC 3–0 Vetting Islanders
Moss FC 0–1 Combine Tamness-Nordby
Gallowsea Ramblers 1–0 Scotvik FF
1.FC Bøe 1–0 Tundra Axle FC
Grasshopper Club 2–0 Turbine Moss FF
Tundra FC 0–8 Spittalmarine
Rapid FF Kells 0–0 Battalion (0–0 AET) (1–3 pen.)
Valkyr Club 3–3 Irsha-57 SK (4–3 AET)
Viking Tananger 0–0 Spite Rovers (2–1 AET)
Tolga Maroons 1–1 FC Harbourwights (2–3 AET)
Aero Fennby 1–0 Bonesea Air Force Club
Kickers FF Sand 2–2 Start-93 (2–2 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Oysterhaven Reds 5–0 Florentine Rose
Blackskull Club 0–4 Blue Boys FF
Omnibus Athletic 1–1 Slatterness Amateur (3–2 AET)
1.FC Tocklehove 0–1 SS Skiveness

Skellingkop-3

Athletic St.Leah 2–1 Turbine FF Gallowsea
Fishers Grimsea 3–0 Spit Whistle Club
Rangers Tocklehove FF 1–0 Tugboat Marines FC
Moss Thistle FC 0–4 Celtic Skein
Skullion FF 0–0 Tamarindian Club (1–0 AET)
Olympic Gallowsea 2–1 Club Zenega
Torpedo Spitney 2–1 17.FF Tolling
Industrial Amblesea 0–1 Florence Boldclub
Hearts AFC 1–1 Combine Tamness-Nordby (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Gallowsea Ramblers 0–2 1.FC Bøe
Grasshopper Club 0–1 Spittalmarine
Battalion 1–4 Valkyr Club
Viking Tananger 4–0 FC Harbourwights
Aero Fennby 0–6 Start-93
Oysterhaven Reds 1–1 Blue Boys FF (1–1 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Omnibus Athletic 1–6 SS Skiveness

Skellingkop-4

Athletic St.Leah 1–2 Fishers Grimsea
Rangers Tocklehove FF 0–1 Celtic Skein
Skullion FF 0–1 Olympic Gallowsea
Torpedo Spitney 1–0 Florence Boldclub
Hearts AFC 1–0 1.FC Bøe
Spittalmarine 3–1 Valkyr Club
Viking Tananger 0–2 Start-93
Blue Boys FF 0–3 SS Skiveness

Skellingkop-5

Fishers Grimsea 1–0 Celtic Skein
Olympic Gallowsea 1–2 Torpedo Spitney
Hearts AFC 0–6 Spittalmarine
Start-93 1–0 SS Skiveness

Skellingkop-6

Fishers Grimsea 1–0 Torpedo Spitney
Spittalmarine 0–2 Start-93

Skellingkopfinal

Fishers Grimsea 5–2 Start-93




Image

Perhaps having spent too much time mixing with the SLANI bunch in UICA and other capitalizt zorts, the bigwigs at the Fellowship of The Greasy Churn (that's the FA to you and me) decided it would be lovely to establish a sporting cup to decide the 'best of the rest' in Bonesea football, wherein the best placed Ligg team outside of the UICA slots would meet in a two-legged play-off with the runner-up of the Skellingkop. Whilst some joked the new Sportingkop was really the Super Cup of Losers, lo and behold but there is the Vilitan Cove Invitational on the horizon, and a potential place in the tournament for a nominated team from any country. Alright then, said the bigwigs, let the Sportingkop winner take the nomination from Bonesea, and let us all hope the Vilitan Coves agree it is a fine proposal based on some sort of sporting merit. To this end, Moss FC - sixth in the Bonesligg - will take on Start-93 of Gannet - 5-2 losers in the Skellingkopfinal against Fishers Grimsea, to decide the nominee of the Fellowship for Bonesea's participation in the inaugural Vilitan Cove Invitational;

Moss FC  1-3  Start-93    	1-1  0-2


Image
Juvenligg-N Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Orphanage FC 24 12 10 2 61 39 +22 46
2 Chavo 24 10 9 5 56 39 +17 39
3 Young Refugees FC 24 11 5 8 53 44 +9 38
4 Gulls u19 24 8 8 8 56 55 +1 32
5 Grasshopper u19 24 7 6 11 41 48 −7 27
6 Start u19 24 5 11 8 47 56 −9 26
7 Young Fishers 24 4 5 15 38 71 −33 17

Image
Juvenligg-E Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Centre For Excellence 24 12 8 4 43 27 +16 44
2 Celtic u19 24 9 10 5 43 29 +14 37
3 Young Offenders FC 24 9 7 8 48 46 +2 34
4 Orient 24 8 8 8 42 43 −1 32
5 Gymnasia u19 24 9 5 10 28 36 −8 32
6 Junior Blues 24 5 8 11 41 50 −9 23
7 Red Boys 24 5 8 11 37 51 −14 23

Image
Juvenligg-S Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Juvenil 24 12 5 7 51 24 +27 41
2 Latiñeros 24 10 10 4 53 35 +18 40
3 Valkyr SK 24 11 5 8 43 40 +3 38
4 Viking Youth 24 10 5 9 54 53 +1 35
5 Combine u19 24 6 9 9 31 37 −6 27
6 Sparta 24 6 8 10 39 52 −13 26
7 Young Kickers 24 5 6 13 25 55 −30 21

Image
Juvenligg-W Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bold Youth 24 12 6 6 60 39 +21 42
2 Torpedo Juniors 24 12 4 8 47 41 +6 40
3 Ocean Cadets 24 10 5 9 60 67 −7 35
4 Rigger Monkeys 24 9 5 10 56 51 +5 32
5 Three Mile Academy 24 7 9 8 50 52 −2 30
6 Turbine u19 24 6 8 10 37 48 −11 26
7 Young Folk FC 24 6 7 11 46 58 −12 25


Image
Round of Sixteen

Orphanage FC 1–1 Orient (1–1 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Torpedo Juniors 3–3 Young Offenders FC (3–4 AET)
Juvenil 1–1 Viking Youth (1–1 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Chavo 0–1 Valkyr SK
Celtic u19 1–1 Young Refugees FC (2–1 AET)
Bold Youth 1–1 Rigger Monkeys (2–1 AET)
Latiñeros 1–1 Ocean Cadets (1–1 AET) (1–3 pen.)
Centre For Excellence 0–0 Gulls u19 (0–0 AET) (3–5 pen.)

Quarterfinals

Orient 1–3 Young Offenders FC
Juvenil 1–1 Valkyr SK (1–1 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Celtic u19 3–2 Bold Youth
Ocean Cadets 0–1 Gulls u19

Semifinals

Young Offenders FC 2–3 Valkyr SK
Celtic u19 0–0 Gulls u19 (0–0 AET) (3–4 pen.)

Juvenliggfinal.

Valkyr SK 2–3 Gulls u19



Awards & Records
Season-589

Champions:	Oysterhaven Reds (1st title)
Runners-Up: SS Skiveness
Third Place: Florence Boldclub

Kop Winners: Fishers Grimsea (2nd title from 2 finals)
Runners-Up: Start-93 (2nd final)

UICA Qualifications

Champions Cup: Oysterhaven Reds
SS Skiveness
Globe Cup: Florence Boldclub
Torpedo Spitney
Athletic St.Leah
Series-B Cup: Industrial Amblesea
Grasshopper Club
1.FC Tocklehove
Cygnus Cup: Fishers Grimsea

ExtraKop-590: Oysterhaven Reds vs. Fishers Grimsea
(Super Cup season opener)

Lower Ligg Champions

Bonesligg-2: Industrial Amblesea
Bonesligg-3: Valkyr Club
Bonesligg-4: Skullion FF
Bonesligg-5: Slatterness Amateur
Spittaligg-A: Basques

National Youth League
Champions: Gulls u19 (Gullravens)
Runners-Up: Valkyr SK (Valkyries)
Juvenligg-N: Orphanage FC
Juvenligg-E: Centre for Excellence
Juvenligg-S: Juvenil
Juvenligg-W: Bold Youth

Player Awards

Fellows Award: Junior Abessou (wZEN; Oysterhaven Reds)
(Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Pluto Blinkman (APX; Oysterhaven Reds)
Third Place: Cleon Jay Scopps (SS Skiveness)

Bonesligg-2: Struan Powell (Industrial Amblesea)
Bonesligg-3: Sham'a Ranger (EFL; Valkyr Club)
Bonesligg-4: Matthijs Appello (wORJ; Skullion FF)
Bonesligg-5: Ron Eijkenaar (wORJ; Spittal County)

J.Foreigner: Pluto Blinkman (APX; Oysterhaven Reds)
(Foreign Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Cortysyn (DAI; Oysterhaven Reds)
Third Place: Harald Fireblade (COS; Florence Boldclub)

Golden Boot: Nacho Zambrano (wTAM; SS Skiveness) 21 goals
Runner-Up: Cade Ruly (Florence Boldclub) 19

Bonesligg-2: Lohan d'Argentré (wSEP; Combine T-N) 26
Bonesligg-3: Sham'a Ranger (EFL; Valkyr Club) 27
Bonesligg-4: Digory Rusko (Otters Club) 20
Bonesligg-5: Innes Percer (Washaway FC) 19

Golden Glove: Lamonaco (Oysterhaven Reds)
Runner-Up: Cett Smith (Torpedo Spitney)

Bonesligg-2: Kierra Hale (1.FC Tocklehove)
Bonesligg-3: Claudia Kelly (BRE; Vakyr Club)
Bonesligg-4: Matthijs Appello (wORJ; Skullion FF)
Bonesligg-5: Ron Eijkenaar (wORJ; Spittal County)

Young Fella: Pluto Blinkman (APX; Oysterhaven Reds) 20 years
(Young Player of The Season)
Runner-Up: Harald Fireblade (COS; Florence Boldclub) 21
Third Place: Copernicus Robinson (Florence Boldclub) 20

Bonesligg-2: Solvi Prideaux (Industrial Amblesea) 19
Bonesligg-3: Alyssa Jones-Smith (Valjyr Club) 17
Bonesligg-4: Matthijs Appello (wORJ; Skullion FF) 21
Bonesligg-5: Trago Redtye (Slatterness Amateur) 19
Juvenligg: SX Hobba (Gulls u19) 17

Argångaward: Escobar de Cabanyas & Davin de Valle (AUD; Oysterhaven Reds)
(Coach of The Season)
Runner-Up: Mulfra Gerbino (Torpedo Spitney)

Bonesligg-2: Ifni Anderssen (Industrial Amblesea)
Bonesligg-3: Ivy Herrick (NPH)(Valkyr Club)
Bonesligg-4: Thaleia Tuelmenna (Skullion FF)
Bonesligg-5: ZC Tannager (Slatterness Amateur)


Fellows Award: The Player of The Season
Junior Abessou
Outside Left, Oysterhaven Reds


Junior Abessou represents the classic story of the fall and rise of a wonderkid who seemed to have the world at their feet, kick it in to touch carelessly, and then find themselves back on the ball after maturing under the guidance of a cheddi master*. In this case, masters - the Audioslav management team of Escobar de Cabanyas and Davin de Valle. A Zenegalese child prodigy who came to Bonesea in his formative years, he was picked up by then-top flight Turbine FF Gallowsea around the age of 11. From very early on he was earmarked for greatness, making his first-team debut at the age of 15. Playing more regularly for the B-team when they were still permitted to play in the Bonesligg, he was Ligg-5 player of the season twice at the ages of 16-17 and golden boot winner in Ligg-5 also at 17. When the seniors were relegated into Ligg-2, as he turned 18 and was just beginning to get established in the first team, he transferred to Athletic, expected there to become their star winger. But after a single abysmal season he was released, to be picked up by Ez & Dav in their first managerial role at SS Skiveness. While they took the Bonesligg by storm, Junior was less influential and the top of the game seemed beyond him, despite his early promise. When the Audioslavs were sacked, his star waned further under Kenny Rising and he looked destined for the scrapheap. But his former bosses picked him up again for their Oysterhaven project, and the Zenegalese winger has not looked back, looking stronger with each season.

A temperamental player who has suffered his whole career with disciplinary problems on the pitch, often blighted by sublime:ridiculous inconsistency even within a ninety-minute game of churning, he has flourished in his second spell under the Audioslavs who seem to have smoothed out the worst of his peaks and troughs, and are now bringing him to the top of his game.


* Cheddi Master: A cultural reference, suggesting apprenticeship with a highly skilled craftsman - the term is generic but an actual cheddi master is specifically a Boney vegan cheesemaker, cheddi being the famous Boney vegan cheese made of a blend of tenning fungus and goat droppings.

Fellows Award Previous Winners
SB-574Toribio Gallo (wTAM), Viking Tananger
SB-575Conchobar Wickett, Spittalmarine
SB-576Des Jeruselem (BSE/QUE), Florence Boldclub
SB-577Nobb Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-578Reskadinnick Jones, Athletic Spit
SB-579Reskadinnick Jones (2), Athletic Spit
SB-580Tuw Turk, Florence Boldclub
SB-581Ursell Grayse-Lennox, SS Skiveness
SB-582Nobb Jones (2), Athletic Spit
SB-583Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub
SB-584Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness
SB-585Ogma Codd, Gymnasia Scold
SB-586Ursell Grayse-Lennox, SS Skiveness (2)
SB-587Jose Enrique (USI), SS Skiveness
SB-588Cleon Jay Scopps, SS Skiveness


Ligg-1 Team of The Season

No.	Pos.	Name		Team
1. GK. Lamonaco Oysterhaven Reds
2. CB. Climo Tyree Torpedo Spitney
3. HB. Pluto Blinkman (APX) Oysterhaven Reds
4. HB. Harald Fireblade (COS) Florence Boldclub
5. OL. Junior Abessou (wZEN) Oysterhaven Reds
6. OR. Copernicus Robinson Florence Boldclub
7. IL. Idaios Clapp SS Skiveness
8. CF. Nacho Zambrano (wTAM) SS Skiveness
9. CF. Cade Jones Athletic St. Leah
10. CF. Cortysyn (DAI) Oysterhaven Reds
11. IR. Kaiser Blight Gullravens FC


Image
The Johnny Foreigner Report

The Low Down on our Bonesligg Migrants - Season 589
by Boldsport staff writer Johnny Foreigner

The way we play it at home is a little… rougher… and muddier… and… greasier... than the widely appreciated international variant of Association Football; in Greasy Churning, one must be prepared for a spot of wrestling. It won’t be everyone’s cup of Boney Tea, that’s for sure. So who made the switch from foreign climes with bruising grace? And who got floored on their first outing? Welcome to the Johnny Foreigner Report, your annual round-up of the Football Migrants gracing our game.



In winning an impressive first title, the Reds of Oysterhaven have provided a fair share of the top foreign players in the Bonesligg, along with their rivals down the road SS Skiveness, whose players have one five of the last ten awards. While all the talk in the Player of The Season awards is how Junior Abessou, another Red, has finally reached the potential we all knew he had as a youngster, the Johnny Foreigner awards are notable for his team mate Cocó reaching fourth in the rankings, the highest placing so far for a woman in the prize. As the first foreign woman to play in the Bonesligg, she had disappointing spells at both Florence Boldclub and SS Skiveness, but has finally shown the promise many were expecting of her some seasons ago. Daineri Cortysyn also impressed in his first season in the Bonesligg, while over at Florence Boldclub, they feel they have landed a real star in Cosumarite Harald Fireblade, who signed for Extramarine before they were relegated four divisions, inspiring him to tear up his contract and move next door to the Green Faeries. In a magnificent first season for the young halfback he put all the transfer confusion behind him to mark himself out as a future great with the Boldclub. But it was another precocious young halfback who beat him to the Johnny Foreigner Award...

Johnny Foreigner Award SB-589
Pluto Blinkman
(Apox)
Half back, Oysterhaven Reds

The young central defender at the heart of Oysterhaven's surprising rise to the top of Greasy Churning has won many admirers since his arrival on these cold shores from the Apoxy Centre for Excellence, signed by the Audioslav management duo of de Cabanyas & de Valle - Ez & Dav in the common linga - for their remarkable project up in the small town on the Isle of Skive, population 1,840. Still only 20 years old (in Boneyears), Pluto is a rock that orbits the penalty box and a rangy young pup with a surprisingly steely resolve - he won't be intimidated by more compact forwards and despite a loping gate and an eminently breakable-looking frame, he will crunch in the tackle. As his many admirers say up at The Haven (the Reds' compact little stadium), he puts the batter on the ram...

Arriving as a sixteen-year old in the Bonesea symmetrical year 585, four years ago, he was billed as a hot prospect but, had it not been for his age, he would have been roundly mocked, but being so young, most of the mockery would have happened behind closed doors. The long thin boy, with - shall we say unusual? - looks and that comic Apoxy accent that instantly makes Bonesfolk smirk or snort with delight, was an unlikely looking hero. Some people thought the management team had gone mad. But despite his visage - or perhaps because of it - the young lad was quickly taken to heart by the locals. Oysterhaven is a small and friendly little fishing village, and coming this far north with only his chaperone older brothers Neptune and Uranus for company, he was soon welcomed into the bosom of the peculiar boreal community (Uranus, the eldest, was especially welcomed into the bosom of Jeannie Tolvaddon, and now Pluto is an uncle to a little Oysterboy, as the chavo are called around here). The three brothers - Pluto in particular - are popular lads and lively rapscallions who often light up the town of a weekday evening when the night is long and the snows bright under the aurora. And the pioneering young defender has lead the way for Apoxy immigration - now there is a Centre for Excellence down the way at Tolling where a number of young Apoxy hopefuls looking to emulate the instant success of Pluto Blinkmann are working away acclimatising to the climate and the ferociousness of greasy churning. It has never been much of a problem for Pluto, and as his team have risen to the top of the game on the island, so he deservedly wins the Johnny Foreigner award for his considerable contribution to that success.

Johnny Foreigner Award Previous Winners
SB-579Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub
SB-580Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness
SB-581Leonardo Ducaldo (USI), Grasshopper Club
SB-582Adel Nzonzi (SEM), SS Skiveness
SB-583Asteróide (DAI), Florence Boldclub (2nd award)
SB-584Piet Masschelin (VLG), SS Skiveness (2nd award)
SB-585Baldomiro el Ogro (LAS), Gymnasia Scold
SB-586Jose Enrique (USI), SS Skiveness
SB-587Jose Enrique (USI), SS Skiveness
SB-588Ozymandias (DAI), Blue Boys FF

Performance Summary*

Name			Nat.	Pos.	Club			Rating

Pluto Blinkman APX HB Oysterhaven Reds 9.75
Cortysyn DAI CF Oysterhaven Reds 9.69
Harald Fireblade COS HB Florence Boldclub 9.25
Cocó USI IR Oysterhaven Reds 9.23
Joseph Amé ABJ GK Oysterhaven Reds 9.01
Halle Poirier EFL OR Torpedo Spitney 9.00
Katanga DAI CB SS Skiveness 8.55
Serian Osopo ABJ CF Oysterhaven Reds 8.31
Karl Boness SEM GK Gymnasia Scold 8.07
Ravinger DAI HB Torpedo Spitney 8.05

Erik Marlowe NPH CF Florence Boldclub 8.01
Tanque DAI HB Torpedo Spitney 7.83
Asteróide DAI CF Florence Boldclub 7.74
Nia Xon ABJ HB Oysterhaven Reds 7.70
John McDonald SCT CB Oysterhaven Reds 7.66
Sunrise Tshabalala SEM CF Gullravens FC 7.63
Jose Enrique USI IR SS Skiveness 7.61
Oto DAI HB Florence Boldclub 7.59
Scott Cooper SCT IL Gymnasia Scold 7.59
Banshee Arnold NPH CF Athletic St. Leah 7.56
Etel Csonka PAS OL Start-93 7.56
Emily Dufort SCT CF Fishers Grimsea 7.24
Piet Masschelin VLG CF SS Skiveness 7.21
Bentley Loken BJK IL Torpedo Spitney 7.17
Lobjstein HUE HB SS Skiveness 7.02
David Whitley USI IR Gullravens FC 7.01
Axsiuu DAI IL Florence Boldclub 7.00
Nemesio Adams EFL OL Gymnasia Scold 6.95
Jordi Spanya SAN GK Blue Boys FF 6.92
Anders Boness SEM GK Gullravens FC 6.90
Zé Caramba USI GK Florence Boldclub 6.88
Tryggve Axelsson USI CB Start-93 6.84
Shelyak DAI CB Fishers Grimsea 6.76
Narahboson AES CB Fishers Grimsea 6.73
João Batata USI OL Athletic St. Leah 6.68
Hércules Menezes USI CF Athletic St. Leah 6.65
Baldomiro el Ogro LAS IR Gymnasia Scold 6.61
Tropicão DAI CF Viking Tananger 6.59
Ozymandias DAI CF Blue Boys FF 6.57
Renato Moleiro TRV CB Blue Boys FF 6.57
Jannick den Linds SEM HB Viking Tananger 6.24
Humiliberto HUE IL Viking Tananger 6.10
Orquerio DAI OL Blue Boys FF 6.06
Arquimides USI CB Gymnasia Scold 5.85
Fingal Altimimy COS HB Start-93 5.84
Jørgen Berthelsen USI IR Fishers Grimsea 5.63
Oxto Oliviera CPV IL Blue Boys FF 5.36
Arichi Kunorikato USI IR Blue Boys FF 5.24
Glloum FAF CF Blue Boys FF 5.19
Adel Nzonzi SEM OR Viking Tananger 5.15

Ligg-2 Players

Schreck DAI IL 1.FC Tocklehove 8.88
Newton Milesvile MRT CB 1.FC Tocklehove 8.63
Mateo Rossini USI/OSS IL Industrial Amblesea 7.97
Darren O'Brian SCT OL Skelling Club 7.35
Ulena Asunao ABJ CF Turbine FF Gallowsea 7.24
Jeronimo USI OL Grasshopper Club 7.07
Mika Paprika USI HB Grasshopper Club 6.95
Brendo Pozo AUD HB 1.FC Tocklehove 6.93
Vojislav Pitalesharo ABI CF Crows Club 6.91
Dokkoi DAI IL 1.FC Tocklehove 6.90
Leonardo Ducaldo USI CF Grasshopper Club 6.86
Scott Balde USI GK Skelling Club 6.73
Nosferatu DAI IL/R Skelling Club 6.35
Gary Hamilton SCT CB Skelling Club 5.80

Ligg-3 Players

Sham'a Ranger EFL CF Valkyr Club 9.32
Kelpie Carrard BRE CF Valkyr Club 9.23
Sarah XSV IRN OR Valkyr Club 9.22
Claudia Kelly BRE GK Valkyr Club 9.20
Herita Mbomba SEM HB Valkyr Club 8.26
Ivy Herrick NPH CB Valkyr Club 7.84
Josefine Teagan BRE HB Valkyr Club 7.60
Marian Brackman BRE CF Valkyr Club 7.25

Ligg-4 Players

Kvetoslav Irniq ABI CF Aero Fennby 8.02
Mochi Yoshinami USI ST Aero Fennby 7.22

Juvenligg Players

Vavá DAI IL Bold Youth 7.47
Ors Rátz PAS IL/IR Bold Youth 7.45

* excludes players from Wide Enness Ocean region

OOC Note
I'm attempting to run one season per RL calendar month (season SB-589, here, is for November '17) based on my general rule of thumb that one RL month = one NS year (Boneytime). This will have an ageing impact on overseas players who come to Bonesea with a different ageing pattern. It may be impossible to resolve this satisfactorily with people using different interpretations of time; I'd suggest the Fluid Time refinery based in Whelm, akin to a leaky and unstable nuclear power plant, may be responsible for irregular ageing processes that will naturally be reversed with only minor medical intervention - a temporal regularisation jab and a good night's sleep - when characters return to other regions of the multiverse and spend time in more temporally stable environments. i.e. you age them as you see fit... Always open to ideas, suggestions and collaborations on this point, via TG initially.
Last edited by Bonesea on Sat Jan 20, 2018 3:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
On indefinite hiatus with pressing RL adventures
Factbook | Sportswire | Boney Jen
BoF '44 (Tamarindia) | NSWC '65 (Wight) | CoH '68 (Bonesea)

PreviousNext

Advertisement

Remove ads

Return to NS Sports

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

Advertisement

Remove ads