TURTLESHROOM LEGATION QUARTER REGISTRATION [OPEN TO ALL]

by **TURTLESHROOM II** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 3:12 pm

NATIONSTATES
LEGATION QUARTER

(BY JUNTA DECREE)

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KINGDOM OF THE UNITED TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM
! PROVISIONARY INDEPENDENT GOVERNING BODY !
ARMED FORCES OF TURTLESHROOM
SECOND SACRED JUNTA OF TURTLESHROOM
REACTIONARY GRANDMASTER

BE IT ENACTED, DECLARED, AND DECREED THAT I, GENERAL BUBBA BUBBAVICH LONG II, WITH UNANIMOUS CONSENT OF THE SECOND SACRED JUNTA OF TURTLESHROOM, DO HEREBY ESTABLISH A FOREIGN LEGATION QUARTER FOR THE PURPOSE OF PERMANENT DIPLOMATIC EXCHANGES WITH TURTLESHROOM AND FOREIGN REALMS.

ENACTED THIS TWENTIETH OF MARCH, IN THE YEAR ANNO DOMINI TWO THOUSAND SEVENTEEN.

BY JUNTA DECREE
-ONE STAR GOVERNOR-GENERAL BUBBA BUBBAVICH LONG, GRANDMASTER OF THE SECOND SACRED JUNTA OF TURTLESHROOM, DEFENDER OF THE NATION.

(BY JUNTA DECREE)

(BY JUNTA DECREE)
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KINGDOM OF THE UNITED TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM
EXECUTIVE CABINET
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS
DEAN

Welcome, men of Nationstates.

Since its founding in 1796 AD, the Kingdom of Turtles, Mushrooms, and Men of TurtleShroom has never maintained a truly official embassy corps.

In 1796 AD, relations with the Russian Crown were formalized with the dispatch of an Imperial consul on behalf of the Tsar. This Consulate was closed in 1917 AD after the defeat of the Russian Whites and the TurtleShroomian support forces that aided them. It was opened back in 1991 AD as a true embassy.

In 1860 AD, a formal embassy was extended to the Confederate States of America (and several legations were opened under its authority for other Confederate-cultured and ideological states). After the fall of the original Confederacy, the embassy was converted and downgraded into an American consulate, but it continued to keep its embassy in Montgomery, Alabama.

TurtleShroom has also maintained informal, unofficial consulates with multiple allies and mutual trade partners*, but these never received any form of full recognition.

However, this policy of informal diplomacy changed in 2017 AD, by decree of the Second Sacred Junta over the fierce objections of the TurtleShroomian government and the indifference of the TurtleShroomian people.

Effective immediately, each of the hundred of rooms in the old state-owned (former) hotel bought in the seventies (nicknamed “the Slum”), is to be converted into full, permanent residency suites for Legates, Ambassadors, Consulates, and their family and guests.

In this article, matters pertaining to new Embassy decrees, security measures, privileges and immunities, protocols, and other such issues will be discussed, and concluded by a formal Embassy Form to sign up for permanent diplomatic relations in TurtleShroom.

PART ONE: THE LEGATION QUARTER

Built in the 1970s AD by a private company and purchased by the state after the end of the Fascist era, the TurtleShroomian State Motel was converted into public housing, and later into a homeless shelter before being closed in 1991 AD.

The building is narrow, but long and tall, reaching five stories. Over the past several months, it has been restored to working order, cleaned, maintained, and repaired for the purposes of the welcoming of a permanent diplomatic corps.

It has well over five hundred rooms, multiple hallways, and fully stocked, private bathrooms in every room.

This hotel is now the TurtleShroomian State Legation Quarter.

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^ This is a picture of the halls of the hotel in the guest area.

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^ These are all pictures of the amenities in the hotel.

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^ This is the kitchen area, but it’s not a representation of the current state of the hotel. For starters, the bulbs and wiring are obscured and neatly covered. The counters and wood are cleaned and the carpet has been repaired. A stovetop (to the right of the picture) and two mini-fridges have been installed.
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^ An model of what an example bathroom would look like. (Turtle toilet is not picture, tub and toilet are actually harvest gold.)

Amentities of the Legation Quarter include:
Full breakfast, lunch, and dinner buffets with meals rotating weekly, available every day, all day.
Air conditioning in every room.
Analog televisions and radios in every room, VCR and Pay-Per-View included, fifty channels included free. (Television is considered to be object luxury and beyond the reach of many TurtleShroomers.)
A full parking garage (under construction)** for all diplomatic vehicles.
Full bathrooms, with a full tub/shower combination and two guaranteed working toilets (one human toilet and one turtle toilet, also used for other non-humans), stocked with all necessary utilities, and room to store your own toiletries.
Full ATM and currency conversion center to both Skillet (state) and private currencies recognized in TS
Spacious lobby
Conference centers
Self-service Christian chapel
Complimentary computer!
Full room service
Outdoor pool
Jacuzzi
Casino
Free long-distance/international calling
Cleaning staff and maintenance staff always available
Elevators included
Full and unlimited use of all TurtleShroomian bus, rail, and other public transportation services for life (includes family and staff and includes after retirement), at no cost
Discounts throughout Jonesboro on food and entertainment

Your room contains:
Two double beds
One television/VCR combo with remote control (color television available on request)
Two alarm clocks
One corded telephone
Personal thermostat for the room and wall unit
Bookshelf
Stovetop
Two mini-refrigerators (full fridge on request)
Full bathroom with human and turtle toilet (custom plumbing available on request at ambassador’s expense)
Small sitting area and breakfast nook
First aid kit

Complimentary computer (runs TS DOS) with all converter cables, legacy equipment, and other adapters for modern technology, free FTP/BBS, Internet, and SHADY access, direct link to foreign network available on request.
COMPUTER SPECIFICS:
o 1GB RAM
o 200GB HARD DRIVE
o PENTIUM III CPU
o 3 AND 5 INCH FLOPPY DRIVES
o CD/OPTICAL DISC DRIVE
o FIVE USB PORTS
o SERIAL CABLES
o FREE PRINTER AND FAX COMBO (INK SUPPLIED BY TS)
o FULL LEGACY SUPPORT AND FORWARD-COMPATIBILITY FOR ALL STANDARDS AS OF 2014 AD
GUARANTEED T-1 ASSYMETICAL UPLINK access to FTP/BBS and SHADY, 1MB DOWNLOAD SPEEDS GUARENTEED. (Most TurtleShroomers use dial-up or other older technologies and this is considered top-tier for businesses.)

Upon your admission to the Legation Quarter, the flag of your nation will be raised on a flagpole on Legation Quarter grounds with other nations’ flags, where it will fly so long as TurtleShroom has your Legation open.

PART TWO: AMBASSADORIAL STATUS, TYPES, PRIVILEGES, IMMUNITIES,
AND LAWS GOVERNING THE LEGATION QUARTER

By default, all permanent diplomatic staff in TurtleShroom are Legates. Addressed as “Your Honor” and titled “Honored Legate [NAME]”, Legates enjoy limited privileges and immunities in TurtleShroom.

Full Ambassadorships in TurtleShroom are extended only to foreign allies and very special nations of interest by TurtleShroom. Ambassadors enjoy greater access to TurtleShroom and further privileges and immunities, as well as priority treatment in both ceremonial and diplomatic affairs.

Extraterritoriality and protection from prosecution for Legates are as follows:
No Legate, nor legation staff, nor legate’s family, nor guests of the legate, may be subject to any form of torture or coercion by the TurtleShroomian state. Torture is usually permissible for foreigners, but legation agents will be protected.
Legates and legation staff (but not family) are exempt from usual punishment if they commit any non-sexual, nonviolent felony. Instead, they will be banished from the country.
Legates and legation staff (but not family) are exempt from punishment under TurtleShroomian drug laws. The punishment will instead be banishment.
Legates are exempt from punishment under TurtleShroomian anti-sodomy and anti-buggery laws. The punishment will instead be banishment.
Legates may not be fined for parking violations and will not charged for towing and impoundment of a violating vehicle, so long as the vehicle has the Legate’s national flag an the flag of the TurtleShroom Legation Quarter on little flagpoles on its hood.
The rooms of Legates, legation staff, and their family are exempt from search and seizure by TurtleShroom.
The entire Legation Quarter is exempt from normal dress codes enforced on TurtleShroomian public land against government employees and visitors. Nudity remains illegal. The only punishment for violations of dress code and nudity shall be house arrest for a given period of time, not exceeding one month.
Legates and their staff may not have their phones tapped or their communications monitored without first alerting their homeland of the monitoring.
Legates may smoke tobacco on the roof the Legation Quarter.
The area within a Legate’s room shall be considered private property in accordance with the law of the Legate’s home country, subject to their auspices. To enter a Legate’s room is to enter TurtleShroomian territory owned by a foreign nation, and subject to the same.
Whosoever, having not committed a sexual crime or a violent crime, hides in the Legate’s room with the consent of the Legate is considered to be subject to the wishes of the Legate’s homeland, and therefore, unable to be seized by TurtleShroomian authorities.
Banished Legates have two weeks to exit the country. Any replacement will be immediately accepted.
A corrupt Legate who embezzles or otherwise defrauds TurtleShroom will be banished, and his homeland will be forced to compensate all losses with ten percent interest. Should they refuse, foreign-owned assets within TurtleShroom will be seized until the debt is satisfied.

All Legates and their families will receive the full protection of the Chancellery Guard.

Legates are not granted extraterritoriality or immunity for the following provisions, and are subjected to TurtleShroomian law:
Any form of rape
Any form of domestic abuse to their spouses or families
Murder
Pedophilia or molestation of a minor
Domestic abuse of spouse or family
Bestiality
Incest

A Legate may only be executed for the following capital provisions:
Rape
Murder
Domestic abuse
Pedophilia or molestation of a minor
Bestiality
Incest

Extraterritoriality and protection from prosecution for Ambasssadors is as follows:
No Ambassador may be detained in TurtleShroom for longer than seven days, unless he commits an act of murder, rape, pedophilia, bestiality, incest, or molestation of a minor.
The only punishment to be levied on an Ambassador is banishment, unless otherwise specified below.
A corrupt Ambassador who embezzles or otherwise defrauds TurtleShroom will be banished, and his homeland will be forced to compensate all losses with ten percent interest. Should they refuse, then the homeland’s foreign-owned assets within TurtleShroom will be seized to pay the cost.

Legates are not granted extraterritoriality or immunity for the following provisions, and are subjected to TurtleShroomian law, and an Ambassador may only be executed for the following capital provisions:
Rape
Murder
Pedophilia
Molestation of a minor
Bestiality
Incest
Domestic abuse

PART THREE: QUALIFICATIONS OF A LEGATE OR AMBASSADOR, ETC.

For a diplomat to qualify as a Legate under TurtleShroomian law:
He shall be male (if his species is human, or his species has sexual dimorphism and two genders/sexes, asexual and single-sex creatures are exempt).
He shall be of his homeland’s age of majority if not human, or sixteen if human.
He shall be of upright and virtuous moral character.
He shall not be a consumer of any recreational drug aside from tobacco (pharmaceuticals are fully exempt).
If human, he shall be a virgin or married to one wife.
He shall have no felonies in his homeland.
He shall be an organic life form (no machines).
If non-corporal or spiritual, he shall not be a demon, as defined under Christian theology and TurtleShroomian law. (He shall be given the opportunity to explain his species and defend himself as he so wishes before his acceptance.)
He shall not be a vampire, werewolf, resurrected being, or supernatural entity hostile to the Christian religion. (Ghosts are permitted.)

If he qualifies as a zombie, he must demonstrate full mental competency and ability to demonstrate self-control against all zombie-based temptations.
Has never committed a felony in his country.
If the Legate is a Nekomimi, Kitsune, or other human/animal chimera, he shall be required to observe any applicable John Raven/segregationist laws in cities, and shall wear a veil over his animal ears and obscure his tail in long pants, robes, or skirts.
If his species or culture practices magic, he either shall be a layman (non-sorcerer) or sign an oath not to use his powers and, before arriving, if he so wills, bind himself by sigil or other means not to use them, if such is available. (Telekinesis, psychic powers, and levitation are exempt for creatures without limbs or means of movement. Mind reading is strictly forbidden.)
He shall not be an open homosexual or a member of a non-heterosexual union.
He shall not be a Satanist.
He shall not be a Pastafarian.
He shall not be a Scientologist.
He shall not knowingly and willingly consume or drink blood.
He shall not own slaves. Any slave brought to TurtleShroom by a Legate will be seized and emancipated by a Legate.
He shall not be a sentient pony (Yellowapple is exempt) or a follower of a Ponyist religion.

Legates will be issued badges, flag pins representing their nation, and a powder blue robe or other powder blue garment tailored to fit their body in a similar manner to a robe. They will be expected to bring their identification documentation from their homeland, and the documentation of anyone they bring.
Legation staff and guardsmen will be issued a powder blue sash to be worn from shoulder to hip, or a belt-sash for use around their waist or other applicable body part. This ensures they receive their privileges and immunities alongside the Legate.

In accordance with TurtleShroomian tradition requiring government agents to wear their vestments of office, Legates will be expected to wear these at all times in TurtleShroom when outside of the Legation Quarter. A Legate will not be permitted to enjoy his privileges and immunities when not in his robe or vestment, except in emergencies.

If a Legate hails from a Marxist state, a National Socialist/Nazi state, or an Islamic state that also practices Sharia Law, he shall be subjected to additional scrutiny and restrictions, or may be denied entry into the Legation Quarter.

Violation of these qualifications will result in rejection of the Legate’s application or banishment from TurtleShroom.

(These are the qualifications of Legates. Ambassadors are subject to conditional requirements designated by TurtleShroom with the foreign nation rendering its Embassy, and do not neccesarily need to meet the same standards as a Legate.)

PART FOUR: SPECIAL DIPLOMATS

Nations of certain government types and structures may receive different designations or treatments under TurtleShroomian law.

Catholic theocracies not in communion with the TurtleShroomer Rite are referred to Antipapal Legates and are allowed to wear their clergy’s vestments and conduct private services at their leisure. If their congregation has a presence in TurtleShroom, they will be considered the de facto representative of that denomination. (Therefore, please send Cardinals.)
All other Christian and non-Christian theocracies are subject to the same treatment and privileges as Antipapal Legates, as well as being held as the representative of their denomination, sect, or religion. Their manner of address, if non-Christian, shall be “Master”, and their title shall be “Theocracy Legate”.
Papal Legates from the Papacy in communion with the TurtleShroomer Rite (currently Il Borgia Vaticano) are in fact classed as Ambassadors, despite their name.
Members of landless nations, holy orders, military orders, and corporations not officially recognized as a sovereign nation shall be designated as Masters, and their manner of address shall be the same.

PART FIVE: LIMITATIONS OF TURTLESHROOMIAN INFRASTRUCTURE

We are sorry to issue the following notifications.
The TurtleShroomian cellular network covers eighty percent of the country, but it is a 2G network, capable of phone calls, text messages, and caller ID. Outside of the cities, you will need to use a Satellite Phone.
There is no Internet in TurtleShroom. TurtleShroom relies on a system that is essentially a FTP/BBS service called the “SHADY-net” or “Shady Net”. The Legation Quarter will have a T-1 line run for its explicit use in every room.
Computer phones (“smart phones”) function in TurtleShroom, but as all cellular networks are 2-G, they do little more than look pretty when making calls. (Apps are shared via FTP and there is a niche community of programmers for computer phones.)
There is no Wi-Fi in TurtleShroom.
In some parts of the country, TurtleShroom's tap water and groundwater are mildly irradiated due to massive uranium deposits scattered all over the country. While it is not toxic or dangerous to humans (and many creatures), it does make many creatures nauseous or ill if consumed. The state will provide bottled and filtered water for those who cannot ingest TurtleShroomian fresh water.

PART SIX: APPLICATION QUESTIONNAIRE

Code: Select all
[blocktext]PART I: BASIC INFORMATION[/blocktext] [B]FULL COUNTRY NAME:[/B] [B]GOVERNMENT TYPE/DESCRIPTION:[/B] [B]IS YOUR NATION A MARXIST STATE OR NAZI/NATIONAL SOCIALIST STATE? (Y/N) –[/B] [B]LEGATE’S NAME:[/B] [B]LEGATE’S SPECIES:[/B] [B]LEGATE’S GENDER:[/B] [B]AGE OF LEGATE:[/B] [B]DESCRIPTION OF LEGATE***:[/B] [blocktext] [/blocktext] [B]BIOGRAPHY OF LEGATE:[/B] [blocktext] [/blocktext] [blocktext]PART II: SPECIFICS OF LEGATE[/blocktext] [B]LEGATE’S RELIGION (include both religion and sect if applicable, e.g. “Russian Orthodox Christian”, etc.)[/B] [B]LEGATE’S POLITICAL AFFILIATION:[/B] [B]LEGATE’S MARITAL STATUS:[/B] [B]LEGATE’S CRIMINAL RECORD:[/B] [B]HEIGHT OF LEGATE:[/B] [B]DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE ANY NON-MAGICAL/INNATE/PSYCHIC POWERS? –[/B] [B]IF SO, WHAT ARE THEY? ARE THEY EXTRAORDINARY FOR HIS SPECIES? (Y/N) –[/B] [B]HAS YOUR LEGATE EVER DIVORCED? (Y/N) –[/B] [B]IF SO, ON WHAT GROUNDS? –[/B] [B]BEFORE HIS ASSIGNMENT, WAS YOUR LEGATE IN A COHABITATIONAL LIVING ARRANGEMENT WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX OF HIS SPECIES? (Y/N) -[/B] [B]IS YOUR LEGATE AN ORDAINED CLERGYMAN OF HIS FAITH?****** (Y/N) –[/b] [B]DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE A MILITARY BACKGROUND OR EXPERIENCE? (Y/N) –[/B] [B]HAS YOUR LEGATE EVER BEEN INVOLVED IN ESPIONAGE, FOREIGN OR DOMESTIC? (Y/N) –[/B] [B]IS YOUR LEGATE A NOBLEMAN/OF NOBLE BLOOD/HOLDING A TITLE OF NOBILITY? (Y/N)******* –[/B] [BLOCKTEXT]PART III: LEGATION ACCOMPYNAMENT AND ADD-ONS[/BLOCKTEXT] [B]PERSONAL WEAPONS OF LEGATE, FAMILY, AND STAFF****:[/B] [B]LEGATE’S TRANSPORTATION (optional):[/B] [B]LEGATE’S FAMILY BEING BROUGHT IN (list each with short description and relation)[/B] [blocktext][list] [*] [/list][/blocktext] [B]LEGATE’S STAFF (list each, with reason for presence):[/B] [blocktext][list] [*] [/list][/blocktext] [B]LEGATE'S SECURITY (list each, and their weapons, with reason for presence):[/b] [blocktext][list] [*] [/list][/blocktext] [BLOCKTEXT]LEGATE SPECIAL NEEDS AND ACCOMODATIONS[/BLOCKTEXT] [B]DOES YOUR LEGATE TOLERATE THE PRESENCE OF NON-HUMANS, OR IS HE WILLING TO DO SO? (Y/N) –[/B] [B]IS YOUR LEGATE NOW, OR HAS HE EVER BEEN, A DRUNKARD, CONSUMER OF ALCOHOL, OR ADDICT TO ANY RECREATIONAL/NON-PHARMACEUTICAL DRUG ASIDE FROM TOBACCO?***** (Y/N) –[/B] [B]DOES YOUR LEGATE NEED CUSTOM/SPECIAL/ADAPTED PLUMBING? (Y/N) –[/B] [B]IF SO, WHAT IS IT:[/B] [B]DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE ANY MEDICAL CONDITIONS? (Y/N) –[/B] [B]IF SO, WHAT ARE THEY? –[/B] [B]IS YOUR LEGATE OF SOUND MIND? (Y/N) -[/B] [B]DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE ANY PHSYCIAL HANDICAPS NECCESITATING ACCESSIBILITY? (Y/N) –[/B] [B]IF SO, WHAT ARE THEY? –[/B] [B]DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE ANY ALLERGIES? (Y/N) –[/B] [B]IS YOUR LEGATE CAPABLE OF USING A TELEPHONE, FAX MACHINE, OR COMPUTER? (Y/N) –[/B] [B]THE CAPITAL OF TURTLESHROOM IS JONESBORO, WHICH IS IN A JUNGLE. CAN YOUR LEGATE WITHSTAND A TROPICAL RAINFOREST BIOME WITH A CLEARLY DEFINED, MONSOON WET/DRY SEASON CLIMATE? (Y/N) –[/B] [BLOCKTEXT]REQUIRED FOR ADMISSION[/BLOCKTEXT] [I]DOES YOUR LEGATE AGREE TO ALL TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF DWELLING IN THE TURTLESHROOMIAN LEGATION QUARTER, INCLUDING SUBJECTION TO TURTLESHROOMIAN LAWS, EXTRATERRITORIALITY, AND RESPONSIBILITIES TO HIMSELF, HIS PROPERTY, AND OTHERS? (Y/N)[/I] – [BLOCTEXT]ETC.[/BLOCKTEXT] [b]DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR THE TURTLESHROOMIAN DIPLOMATIC CORPS? -[/b] [BLOCKTEXT] [/BLOCKTEXT] DO YOU HAVE ANY ADDITIONAL NOTES, CLARIFICATIONS, OR ALERTS YOU WISH TO ISSUE THE TURTLESHROOMIAN DIPLOMATIC CORPS? -[/b] [BLOCKTEXT] [/BLOCKTEXT] [b]DO YOU WISH FOR TURTLESHROOM TO ESTABLISH A DIPLOMATIC PRESENCE IN YOUR NATION'S LEGATION QUARTERS/ETC.? (link) -[/b] _____________________________________ SIGNED

* = { OOC: That list is dated and cannot be edited due to it being my previous nation. }

** = Additional land is being purchased adjacent to the Legation Quarter for these purposes. They will be considered part of the Legation Quarter and subject to the same privileges and immunities, etc. .

*** = You may place a picture here, within a spoiler, should you so desire.

**** = All weapons that exercise discernment are welcome in TurtleShroom (ranging from tasers all the way to fully automatic machine guns), as long as they are declared.

***** = Ex-addicts must have been sober for five years, or are to be accompanied by a therapist/handler to prevent them from seeking recreational drugs.

****** = Clergymen of recognized religions, including foreign clergy, are exempt from taxation.

******* = This is for ceremonial, cultural, and traditional purposes in TS government and diplomacy. Foreign noblemen acting on behalf of their country are expected to wear any royal regalia their rank entails, alongside the issued robes.

We are honored to welcome your esteemed diplomats, and hope that your diplomatic presence in TurtleShroom will ease both your governmental and tourist issues.

Thank you for your observance of our rules and your participation in bring peace on the earth and Nationstates, and goodwill toward men.
-DEAN OF THE TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS, IN REPRESENTATION OF THE MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS OF THE KINGDOM OF TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM

(BY JUNTA DECREE)

by **TURTLESHROOM II** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 3:45 pm

https://archive.is/ixcnZ/2c98cf559fe4b5848afec8f163ad03a34de8d53f.jpg

CURRENT LEGATIONS

DEVERNIA: Mister David Gomes
THE LUNAR DOMAIN: His Honor, Liha Wavumai, Elite Ai-Swordsman of Planet Dheghom
SKYHOOKED: His Honor, Jack Ramsey
ALLANEA: The Honorable Doctor Aloisius Bacon, MD
DIARCESIA: Mister and Mrs. Mar Esteves
NOVA CAPILE: Mister Rudolph Haas
RUPUDSKA: Mister Erich Mahler
SAURISIA: Mister Tulio Qixian Zhao
ASTORIA: Mister Robert Hitis
PORT SPRATLEY: The Honorable Doctor Chengde Wu
MEDWEDIAN DEMOCRATIC FEDERATION: One-Star General Herbert Ebenhardsen

CURRENT EMBASSIES

DARUSSALEM: Her Grace, Imperial Princess and Ambassatrix Ayesha Qathrunnada "Almasunnisa" Maadid
YELLOWAPPLE: His Honor, Colonel and Ambassador Ferrous Fungi

CURRENT PAPAL, ANTIPAPAL, AND THEOCRACY LEGATES

CURRENT MASTERS

WORKERS SFSR: Master Baldugiin Tenjin (CAPTIVE NATION)

Code: Select all: WITHDRAWN EMBASSIES: THE ICE STATES: Reason unknown, assumed to be conflict with Icemen religious law.

by **TURTLESHROOM II** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 3:45 pm

STATES ELIGIBLE FOR FULL AMBASSADORSHIPS:

THE CTAN
IL BORGIA VATICANO (AS PAPAL LEGATE)
COMRADE COMMISAR (AASHINIAN COMMISSARIAT)
COMRADE COMMISAR (YUE COMMISSARIAT, AS THEOCRACY LEGATE)
LA COSA FEDORA
GREATER EVIL IMPERIAL JAPANESE DYSTOPIA
YELLOWAPPLE
HAIZ
DARUSSALAM
NEW EDOM
LA COSA FEDORA
MENELMACAR
MOST NATIONS OF THE FORMER STEELE PACT

by **TURTLESHROOM II** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 3:45 pm

(Blank for future use)

by **The Palmetto** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 5:40 pm

OOC: tagging, just in case

by **Darussalam** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:32 pm

Days after the Deputy's meeting with the Turtleshroomite junta, a Darussian envoy arrived before the gate of the Chancellery. Dressed in elaborate saffron robe, with turban wrapped around his head and a letter on his hand, he presented himself before the General in a somewhat artificial, elite accent of English as Nafs as-Saltaneh, one of the Peacock Throne's devoted servants, displaying a peacock tattoo entrenched in his fist as the evidence. Without further ado, he opened the seal of the letter and handed it to the turtle. Upon inspection, the letter is written in calligraphic English, no doubt written by the Deputy's own personal secretary. Bowing quietly, he then smiled, awaiting for any further reply before his departure.

by **TURTLESHROOM II** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 7:10 pm

KINGDOM OF THE UNITED TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM
EXECUTIVE CABINET
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS
DEAN

TO THE ESTEEMED EMPEROR ISAKSANDAR QATHRUNNADA AND HIS IMPERIAL COURT, OF THE SUBLIME EMPIRE OF DARUSSALEM
YOUR IMPERIAL MAJESTY, CALIPHA, OF THE PEACOCK THRONE:

Your application has been ACCEPTED IN FULL.

Blessings upon you and your House. May your realm be prosperous and unblemished by corruption or incompetence. May you reign ten thousand years!

The Kingdom of the United Turtles, Mushrooms, and Men of TurtleShroom is honored to accept Imperial Princess Ayesha "Almasunnisa" Qathrunnada as the diplomatic representative of Darussalem. As per your requests, Her Grace will not be addressed by her first name by any staff or member of the Legation Quarter, or by any government representative of TurtleShroom.

We are greatly impressed by the breadth of Her Grace's knowledge in both Darussalemite Islamic Mysticism, in the Mind of God Sect, in her heritage, her culture, and her upbringing's spiritualism, and in secular matters. Truly, you have dispatched an overqualified and outstanding candidate to represent the interests of the Darussalemite Crown. We are humbled by your generosity and that you hold TurtleShroom to be in such esteem as to be worthy of dispatching a Princess to serve as a diplomatic agent.

All documentation for Her Grace, her translators, and her secretary have been received and processed, and Her Grace has been prepared a room on the second floor of the Legation Quarter. Her Grace should expect nothing less than spotless cleanliness in her room. We have dusted, washed, and cleaned the room to befit a woman of such status as Her Grace.

TurtleShroom is honored to provide the security and protection for Her Grace, and will honor its commitment fully. We will dispatch the most loyal Chancellery Guardsmen to serve Her Grace, and, should she request, we will especially attempt means to secure non-Christian members, if they are available.

As a full Ambassador, Her Grace is not subject to the restrictions on gender required of Legates, and is granted broader Diplomatic Immunity, both in her Legation Quarter room and in herself and her staff.
Her Grace's limousine has been outfitted with miniatures of the submitted flag of your realm, and the TSSDC flag on its hood, and is now free to travel and park as the Darussalemite Crown's representative so sees fit.

Pertaining to your request to establish a Madrassah or other Darussalemite Islamic Mysticism mosque/learning center in TurtleShroom, we unfortunately will reject your request for expedition, and will not allow such to be built on Legation Quarter Grounds. However, you are welcome to establish a center for the Mind of God Sect within the Quarter, presuming it is an unique doctrine apart from, or not directly connected to, the Islamic branch practiced in Darussalem.
(We should add that there are no restrictions on Her Grace's, or any Darussalemite's freedom to worship and proclaim their faith as private citizens or tourists.)

Darussalemite Islamic Mysticism (DIM) is already recognized as a legitimate religion in TurtleShroom and its practice is unhindered. We understand its differences from Sunni and Shia Islam (and Wahhabism in particular) and do not consider it to be hostile towards TurtleShroom. The Darussalemite Crown is welcome to go through the normal process of purchasing land and erecting structures upon it. Any DIM mosque or religious facility, as with all recognized religions, are tax-exempt.

Unfortunately, Her Grace, as a registered Fiqh Lawyer under the DIM denomination of Islam (interpreting both religious and secular law), is not considered a clergyman under TurtleShroomian law, so her tax exempt status has been declined.

Her Grace is requested to visit our on-site tailor to be outfitted with her requisite powder blue robe, her badges and identification as an Ambassador, and also to receive sashes for her aides. She will also be fingerprinted and her blood sampled for police purposes, and asked to recite an oath of honesty and incorruptibility. She will pledge to both her country and to TurtleShroom to betray neither.
Failure to wear her assigned Ambassador vestments means that, during her time not wearing them, she will not enjoy the privileges, immunities, and powers given to her as a diplomatic agent.

TurtleShroom is honored to play host to such an esteemed woman as Her Grace. We wish you God's eternal blessings upon your mighty empire, and a lifetime of knowledge and wisdom.

Thank you.
-DEAN OF THE TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS, IN REPRESENTATION OF THE MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS OF THE KINGDOM OF TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM

by **The Lunar Domain** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 9:19 pm

The New Lunar Republic of the Lunar Domain
Minister of Foreign Affairs
Department of Foreign Diplomacy

To whom it may concern,

Upon the request of the Prime Minister of the Lunar Domain, the approval of the Lunar Council, and per my duties as the Minister of Foreign Affairs, I formally submit to the Kingdom of the United Turtles, Mushrooms, and Men of TurtleShroom the application for the Legate status of Liha 'Wavumai, in the hopes of establishing a diplomatic and friendly relationship between our two nations.

Signed,

The Minister of Foreign Affairs

by **TURTLESHROOM II** » Thu Mar 23, 2017 4:58 pm

KINGDOM OF THE UNITED TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM
EXECUTIVE CABINET
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS
DEAN

TO HONORED FOREIGN MINISTER PICNESUS OF THE LUNAR DOMAIN AND THE PLANET DHEGHOM
YOUR HONOR:

After research of your Legate's species, though we had initial reservations due to his fearful visage and the allegations of his species bearing a collective xenophobic arrogance during and after its status of a "Covenant" Empire, we have decided that your application will now be ACCEPTED IN FULL. In particular, your Legatation candidate's ancient religion and his emphasis on humility, modesty, and honor really won over TurtleShroomian researchers.

His Honor, Liha Wavumai, has been registered with the Legation Quarter and his and his associates' identification papers have been received by the TurtleShroomian Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

Your request to conceal carry a sidearm has been granted. Your request to conceal carry of an assault rifle has been granted. All requested weapons registered with your guardsmen and companions have been granted. Your request for Chancellery Guard protection as your primary method of security has been granted.

However, your Lightsaber Energy Sword is alien to TurtleShroom and its technological capabilities, as well as being unknown in matters of TurtleShroomian law. Theoretically, as your Lightsaber Energy Sword is brandished as a normal sword and used in the same style of combat as a normal sword, you would be allowed to conceal carry it in TurtleShroom. (The fact that it can be sheathed so effortlessly adds weight.)

However, as there is no precedent in the courts for Lightsabers, and due to the extreme turmoil and death of most of the TurtleShroomian judiciary, we will have to note that His Honor's request to bring his Lightsaber Energy Sword has been placed on hold (but not denied) while we consult our scholars, military brass, and lawyers to determine its legality. We expect the Lightsaber request to hold weight in the courts because of its use and means of using it in combat, but you will have to wait.

If you have a normal sword of metal or other materials that can be forged, you are welcome to bring it until the Lightsaber clears customs. If His Honor so wishes, the TurtleShroomian military can present His Honor with a standard-issue Tsao Katana Sword, used for cerermonial purposes among Tsao immigrants in the TurtleShroomian military. Although it is not used in combat in TurtleShroomian military doctrine, it is, nonetheless, a fully functional sword and would withstand combat with any other sword of metal. His Honor is free to keep the sword as a souvenier if he so wishes, even after (and if) his Lightsaber is cleared.

His Honor's bodily form, as well as that of his companions, and His Honor's build is certainly a daunting task to be outfitted for his requisite powder blue robe, though the sashes were easily taken care of. His Honor's request that he wear this robe over the traditional robes of his homeland has been granted.

As with all Legates and Ambassadors, His Honor will be fingerprinted (or an unique print of some other kind will be attained as need be). We have acknowledged the taboo that drawing the blood of a member of His Honor's species brings outside of the battlefield, and, if His Honor so requests, we will instead draw saliva, hair (if applicable), and skin samples to derive a DNA profile.

His Honor's dedication to humility and servitude, as well as loyalty to family and patriotism, as well as the culture of the tradtionalists of his species, more than qualifies him as a worthy member of the TurtleShroomian Legatation Quarter.

TurtleShroom is honored to play host to such an esteemed creature as His Honor. We wish you God's eternal blessings upon your planet, for every sun rises and sets at His will in all the Milky Way, and a lifetime of knowledge and wisdom.

Thank you.
-DEAN OF THE TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS, IN REPRESENTATION OF THE MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS OF THE KINGDOM OF TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM

P.S.: Due to our extraordinary distance in both space and technology, we find it surprising that you wish to estalbish formal relations with us. It seems frivelous, but we also take it as a humbling gesture of respect. That a planetary empire such as the Lunar Domain saw it fit to form cordial ties with an agrarian backwater state such as TurtleShroom certainly exhibits the upstanding moral character of the civilization overseeing the Planet Dheghom.

by **Devernia** » Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:13 am

Hello,

We have decided to apply for an embassy in the nation of TurtleShroom, as we seek to repair relations in countries that may or may not be offended by the UpdateNortain incident. We are sorry if such statement offends you and/or your nation's populace.

Thank you.

OOC: Jeez, most of the applications are long. I wouldn't be surprised if my application gets rejected because it's too short.

by **TURTLESHROOM II** » Fri Mar 24, 2017 11:52 am

KINGDOM OF THE UNITED TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM
EXECUTIVE CABINET
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS
DEAN

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, TECHNOCRATIC AND FOREIGN MINISTRY OF DEVERNIA
YOUR EXCELLENCY:

Deverina and TurtleShroom are at odds in terms of technology. While TurtleShroom does not reject all modernization and, indeed, maintains full electrification as well as a decent personal computer presence, we are considered a technological backwater and a state resistant to excess technological presence. Certainly, the Crown of Nortain was right to halt forced modernization of the state in an unorganic, top-down method that ignores the values of the populace and the Free Market. (We do, however, strongly support the rural electrification of Nortain.)

Nonetheless, Mister David Gomes' application has been ACCEPTED CONDITIONALLY. His request for a "technician" on staff has been granted for reasons to be outlined below. All other staff requests have been granted.

The identification records of Mister Gomes and his approved staff have been received by TurtleShroom and all entry has been cleared. As with all Legates and Ambassadors, Mister Gomes and company will be fingerprinted, and a blood sample will be taken from them for DNA profile purposes.

Mister Gomes' height and build are standard for humans and, though short by TurtleShroomian standards, need no visit to the tailor. Sashes and robes on hand will fit them just fine.

Mister Gomes' request to import a fully manual electric car has been granted, and the vehicle will be affixed with miniatures of its flag and the Legation Quarter flag. We do, however, need to warn you that there are no electrical car stations in TurtleShroom, so unless you can charge your automobile in a wall outlet in the upcoming parking garage, you will need to rely on complementary public transportation or a car fueled by internal combustion instead.

Your request to bring your own electronic equipment and computers has been granted. However, we must warn you that it won't do much good if you want to communicate with other TurtleShroomian computers. While legacy software and converters are universal, cheap, and abundant, your computer likely uses a massively advanced operating system that may be unable to open sixteen-bit software, and other legacy materials. Most importantly, as the predominant means of digital storage are floppy disks and Zip Drives, we doubt your laptop will be compatible (although there are plenty of USB Zip and floppy drives available at any urban electronics store or in the mail-order catalogs, at low, low prices).

Concerning the satellite access, we believe that it would be an unfair treatment of the other delegations to install a sattelite dish with such awe-inspiring down link and uplink rates, while everyone else gets a T-1 line or dial-up. However, the state is willing to authorize your personal computer to access the Internet on a non-text based browser through the T-1 line.

This is an extraordinary decision, but the devotion of the Devenorite state to technology will be honored conditionally. As you have requested full Internet access (something not available even to the government of TurtleShroom), the Devenorite state will be charged the full cost that will be required of Slowsky ISP to run a new, Internet-dedicated last mile out of the Legation Quarter. Slowsky ISP will also bill you, using dial-up data and phone billing procedures prior to the advent of the SHADY-net, for all data used on the Internet proper. (This means that you will be charged by the hour at fifty six kilobyte rates, despite the T-1 line's one megabyte rate.)
A new demarcation point will be placed in the cellar of the Legation Quarter and run up to your room. You (or your technician) will be fully responsible for maintaining all Internet wiring in the Legation Quarter, as you are its sole user.

Past the T-1 line in the hotel and the last mile running to Slowsky ISP HQ, once at the HQ, your data will be broadcast by your requested satellite dish to your nation's communication satellites. Slowsky ISP'S HQ already maintains a satellite array coupled with a large dish on its roof, so adding your presented satellite to its array will be easily done. Your satellite dish will be broadcasted to your nation's communication satellites, and will be adjusted for line of site with Deverenite infrastrucutre by Slowsky ISP.

We ask Mister Gomes' understanding for these charges and issues. This is not a punishment, but a security and infrastructural neccesity, essential for keeping the Bell System's PSTN from crashing altogether. Again, you are not being punished. We cannot place your Internet traffic on the same T-1 line, demarcation point, and last mile as the SHADY-net because of the risk of hackers using it to access the Internet without a text-based browser by downloading a full GUI browser. What's more, it would greatly clog the existing SHADY-net, T-1 line in the Legation Quarter, and other infrastructure.

That initial T-1 line was already expensive enough, because we had to install it all the way to Slowsky ISP's HQ to avoid broadcasting over the phone lines, so we don't want to build another T-1 line just for the use of one Legate from a country that we have never interacted with before, to be used with a single-user satellite uplink. You will be charged accordingly.

You may think that this was a means of political censorship or quashing of dissent, but you must understand that TurtleShroomian wiring never really exited the copper, RJ-11 phone phase. Due to the sheer age of our phone lines and the near-universal use of landlines by a billon creatures communications (as well as a rapidly increasing 2G cellular network, now present in most cities!), our infrastructure cannot handle the further traffic that also servicing the full Internet to a billion creatures would need, which (alongside pornography) was why the Internet as shut down in TurtleShroom in the first place and replaced with the dedicated SHADY-net, which requires less data for download.

As for physical security, we are honored to have the Chancellery Guard defend your entire delegation with their lives and sacred honor.

We thank you for your understanding and tolerance for our status as a technological backwater, and hope that the infrastructural and security issues will not be too much of a burden to your private, one megabyte per second Internet access.

May God bless your nation and grant your nation the utmost in prosperity, happiness, peace, and booming economies.

Thank you.
-DEAN OF THE TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS, IN REPRESENTATION OF THE MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS OF THE KINGDOM OF TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM

P.S.: If you are caught with any kind of pornography on that computer, your Legate will immediately be expelled, and any possession of child pornography will result in the execution of your Legate (see extraterritorality conditions in our contract).
We expect that you would send a Legate with honor, so remember that this is just a warning. We trust your Legate to act within our laws.

by **YellowApple** » Fri Mar 24, 2017 7:17 pm


YellowApple Department of International Relations
Official Diplomatic Transmission


To Whom It May Concern:

YellowApple, Inc.'s registration for a diplomatic mission within
Turtleshroomer juridcition is enclosed below.

Given the long and friendly history between YellowApple, Inc. and the
Kingdom of Turtleshroom, we do have some requests:

- Classification of myself as an "ambassador" rather than as a
  "legate"

- Authorization to construct a standalone ambassadorial facility
  within Jonesboro, whether in addition to or in lieu of the
  normally-allocated legation quarters

I hope these requests are acceptable to the relevant authorities, and
I look forward to continued peace and prosperity between our nations.

Sincerely,

Senior Representative Ferrous Fungi
YellowApple Department of International Relations
Turtleshroomer Diplomatic Mission



PART I: BASIC INFORMATION

FULL COUNTRY NAME:
    YellowApple, Inc.

GOVERNMENT TYPE/DESCRIPTION:
    Autocratic corporate democracy

IS YOUR NATION A MARXIST STATE OR NAZI/NATIONAL SOCIALIST STATE?
(Y/N) – N

LEGATE’S NAME:
    Senior Representative Ferrous Fungi

LEGATE’S SPECIES:
    Equus sapiens terrestris

LEGATE’S GENDER:
    Male

AGE OF LEGATE:
    88 hexadecimal megaseconds (46.82 years)

DESCRIPTION OF LEGATE***:
    - Sapient equine ("earth pony" subspecies)
    - Grey coat
    - Pale-blue mane
    - Flank marking of a magnet and mushroom
    - Prosthetic front-right limb
    - Prosthetic right eye
    - Prosthetic right ear

BIOGRAPHY OF LEGATE:
    - Born in Torvaldsville, YellowApple, Inc.

    - Transitioned to "active" military service status under
      YellowApple Aerospace Marine Corps; served tour of duty in Dark
      Harvest evacuation (final rank: Major)

    - Transitioned to "standby" military service status under
      YellowApple Aerospace Marine Corps (final rank: Lt. Colonel /
      Tactical Representative)

    - Transitioned to "active" military service status under
      YellowApple Aerospace Marine Corps; served two tours of duty in
      YellowApplan-Angrivantian War (final rank: Colonel / Tactical
      Representative)

    - Transitioned to "inactive" military service status

    - Recruited by Department of International Relations into
      Diplomatic Representative position

    - Promoted to Senior Representative and assigned to Turtleshroomer
      diplomatic mission



PART II: SPECIFICS OF LEGATE


LEGATE’S RELIGION (include both religion and sect if applicable, e.g. “Russian Orthodox Christian”, etc.)
    YellowApplan Protestant

LEGATE’S POLITICAL AFFILIATION:
    YellowApplan

LEGATE’S MARITAL STATUS:
    Married

LEGATE’S CRIMINAL RECORD:
    None

HEIGHT OF LEGATE:
    1.1 meters (0.8 meters at withers)

DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE ANY NON-MAGICAL/INNATE/PSYCHIC POWERS? –
    No

IF SO, WHAT ARE THEY? ARE THEY EXTRAORDINARY FOR HIS SPECIES? (Y/N) –
    N/A

HAS YOUR LEGATE EVER DIVORCED? (Y/N) – N
IF SO, ON WHAT GROUNDS? –
    N/A

BEFORE HIS ASSIGNMENT, WAS YOUR LEGATE IN A COHABITATIONAL LIVING
ARRANGEMENT WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX OF HIS SPECIES? (Y/N) -
    Yes, if living with his wife after marriage qualifies as a
    "cohabitataional living arrangement" in this context.

IS YOUR LEGATE AN ORDAINED CLERGYMAN OF HIS FAITH?****** (Y/N) – N

DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE A MILITARY BACKGROUND OR EXPERIENCE? (Y/N) – Y

HAS YOUR LEGATE EVER BEEN INVOLVED IN ESPIONAGE, FOREIGN OR
DOMESTIC? (Y/N) – N

IS YOUR LEGATE A NOBLEMAN/OF NOBLE BLOOD/HOLDING A TITLE OF
NOBILITY? (Y/N)******* – N


PART III: LEGATION ACCOMPYNAMENT AND ADD-ONS


PERSONAL WEAPONS OF LEGATE, FAMILY, AND STAFF****:
    - YellowApple, Inc. AppleFire AMR01C Automatic-Mechanism Rifle
      (locked to semi-automatic operation if required) × 4
    - YellowApple, Inc. AppleFire RMP04 Revolving-Mechanism Pistol × 4
    - YellowApple, Inc. AppleFire ESP17 Electrical Stun Pistol × 4
    - YellowApple, Inc. AppleFire ESB03 Electrical Stun Baton × 4

LEGATE’S TRANSPORTATION (optional):
    - Asai Motors Model 4X H150 SUV × 1
    - YellowApple, Inc. AppleDrive ACV03T Aerospace Transport × 1

LEGATE’S FAMILY BEING BROUGHT IN (list each with short description and relation)
    - Purple Pumice (wife): Equus sapiens rinocerotis
      (unicorn), pale-violet coat, bright-violet mane, flame-shaped
      flank marking

    - Honey Dew (daughter): Equus sapiens rinocerotis
      (unicorn), pale-yellow coat, pale-green mane, bee-shaped flank
      marking

    - Caramel Corn (son): Equus sapiens terrestris (earth-type
      pony), tan coat, blonde mane, corn-ear-shaped flank marking

LEGATE’S STAFF (list each, with reason for presence):
    - Junior Representative Josiah Beacon (ambassadorial understudy)
    - Corporate Representative Marie Concord (economic/commercial advisor)
    - Dr. Lars Redstone (scientific/academic advisor)
    - UNFILLED (local advisor)

    - Rachel McIntosh (system administrator)
    - UNFILLED (computer maintenance technician)
    - UNFILLED (clerical support technician)
    - UNFILLED (sanitary maintenance technician)
    - UNFILLED (automobile driver)
    - Marisol Alfrocheiro (aerospace transport pilot)
    - Paul Grenache (aerospace transport co-pilot)
    - UNFILLED (vehicular maintenance technician)

    - Col. Ezekiel Vetliner (head of security)
    - Lt. Col. Paula Sultana (relief head of security)
    - Lt. John Taminga (physical defense specialist)
    - Lt. Rebekah Siegerrebe (electronic defense specialist)

LEGATE SPECIAL NEEDS AND ACCOMODATIONS


DOES YOUR LEGATE TOLERATE THE PRESENCE OF NON-HUMANS, OR IS HE
WILLING TO DO SO? (Y/N) – Y
    He *is* a non-human, so obviously yes.

IS YOUR LEGATE NOW, OR HAS HE EVER BEEN, A DRUNKARD, CONSUMER OF
ALCOHOL, OR ADDICT TO ANY RECREATIONAL/NON-PHARMACEUTICAL DRUG ASIDE
FROM TOBACCO?***** (Y/N) – Y

DOES YOUR LEGATE NEED CUSTOM/SPECIAL/ADAPTED PLUMBING? (Y/N) – N
IF SO, WHAT IS IT:
    N/A

DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE ANY MEDICAL CONDITIONS? (Y/N) – N
IF SO, WHAT ARE THEY? –
    N/A

IS YOUR LEGATE OF SOUND MIND? (Y/N) - Y

DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE ANY PHSYCIAL HANDICAPS NECCESITATING
ACCESSIBILITY? (Y/N) – N
IF SO, WHAT ARE THEY? –
    N/A

DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE ANY ALLERGIES? (Y/N) – N

IS YOUR LEGATE CAPABLE OF USING A TELEPHONE, FAX MACHINE, OR
COMPUTER? (Y/N) – Y

THE CAPITAL OF TURTLESHROOM IS JONESBORO, WHICH IS IN A JUNGLE. CAN
YOUR LEGATE WITHSTAND A TROPICAL RAINFOREST BIOME WITH A CLEARLY
DEFINED, MONSOON WET/DRY SEASON CLIMATE? (Y/N) – Y


REQUIRED FOR ADMISSION


DOES YOUR LEGATE AGREE TO ALL TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF DWELLING IN
THE TURTLESHROOMIAN LEGATION QUARTER, INCLUDING SUBJECTION TO
TURTLESHROOMIAN LAWS, EXTRATERRITORIALITY, AND RESPONSIBILITIES TO
HIMSELF, HIS PROPERTY, AND OTHERS? (Y/N) – Y

[BLOCTEXT]ETC.[/BLOCKTEXT]

DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR THE TURTLESHROOMIAN DIPLOMATIC CORPS? -
None at this time.


DO YOU HAVE ANY ADDITIONAL NOTES, CLARIFICATIONS, OR ALERTS YOU WISH
TO ISSUE THE TURTLESHROOMIAN DIPLOMATIC CORPS? -[/b]
None at this time.


DO YOU WISH FOR TURTLESHROOM TO ESTABLISH A DIPLOMATIC PRESENCE IN YOUR NATION'S LEGATION QUARTERS/ETC.? (link) -
    Yes

Ferrous Fungi
_____________________________________
SIGNED

by **TURTLESHROOM II** » Fri Mar 24, 2017 8:08 pm

KINGDOM OF THE UNITED TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM
EXECUTIVE CABINET
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS
DEAN

TO THE YELLOWAPPLE DEPARTMENT OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS AND REPRESENTATIVES
MAJOR:

While Yellowapple enjoys the full support and faith of the TurtleShroomian state as the only Ponyist realm that ever defended the country and advocated for mercy, the vast majority of the general population of TurtleShroom still harbors a deep-seated hatred for the sentient pony races and their nations of origin, including the Yellowapple state.

Therefore, while your application has been ACCEPTED ON CONDITION, we cannot base the Yellowapple Embassy in Jonesboro or an urban area, for fear of the safety of the esteemed Major and his family. Yellowapple's longstanding respect for the traditions and existence of TurtleShroom makes it truly worthy of a full Embassy and all the additional privileges and immunities with it. As such, the request for an elevation to Ambassador has been granted.

Instead, you have been authorized to construct a stronghold, bunker, or redoubt (on ground or underground) in a remote area of the Dry Dry Desert, next to an expanse of train tracks. Five acres will be purchased (or allocated) and donated to Yellowapple at no cost. TurtleShroom will erect a simple station halt next to the site, should the esteemed Major seek to travel throughout the country. Should the need arise, TurtleShroom will drill a well on the property at no cost. Electrical power lines will be laid to the property at no cost.

You are free to construct your redoubt/stronghold/bunker in any way you see fit, at your expense. In contrast to the Deverite Legation, granting you a satellite uplink/down link combination provides no security risks or fairness issues because of the higher ranking of Ambassadors versus Legates.

Requests for all declared weapons have been granted.Due to the extraordinary risks of security for hosting a sentient pony, and due to the remoteness of the Yellowapple Embassy site, all additional staff requests have been granted.
Your request for unrestricted personal aircraft usage has been granted. You are authorized to construct a runway or other landing pad for the craft in a way you may so see fit on your land. All vehicle requests have been granted.

A dedicated phone hotline will be laid from the Legation Quarter to the Yellowapple site for purposes of instant communication, to compensate for the distance. As with any Ambassador, you will have priority access to the TurtleShroomian state.
As with all foreign diplomats, all requests to and from the TurtleShroomian Crown and from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs go through the Legation Quarter authority, and thus through me, the Dean of the Legation Quarter.

TurtleShroom is still in Yellowapple's debt for its gratuitous assistance in driving out the Urmanian Para-Sprite Locusts, so if the costs are reasonable and the resources acquirable by TurtleShroomian contractors, we are willing to waive the costs of construction and instead fund the materials ourselves. (If you bring your own materials, this point is moot.) Naturally, the Yellowapple Embassy will not be charged for electrical, water, and utility costs.

TurtleShroom's long-gone use of calvary and mules means that it is easy for our tailors to measure and present a powder blue blanket to serve as the esteemed Major's "robe". As with all diplomats, TurtleShroom will "fingerprint" the esteemed Major by a hoofprint, as well as by X-rays of his teeth/dentition, and by the coloration and patterns of his coat and mane. TurtleShroom will also take blood samples for the DNA profiles.

God willing, there may come a day when the TurtleShroomian populace becomes accepting enough of Yellowapple's sentient pony population that we can keep the esteemed Major in the Legation Quarter.

May God bless your nation and grant it nothing but prosperity and success, should He so will.

Thank you.
-DEAN OF THE TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS, IN REPRESENTATION OF THE MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS OF THE KINGDOM OF TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM

P.S.: Your application affirms that the esteemed Major was once a consumer of non-tobacco recreational drugs or was a drunkard. As you have not given any further specifics, we will need conduct drug tests on the esteemed Major until full information and proof of sobriety are presented. Alternately, the esteemed Major may bring in a therapist or other aide to ensure the esteemed Major remains sober.

by **YellowApple** » Fri Mar 24, 2017 9:42 pm


YellowApple Department of International Relations
Official Diplomatic Transmission


To the Dean of the Turtleshroomian State Diplomatic Corps:

Thank you for the prompt response and for the approval of the
YellowApplan diplomatic mission to Turtleshroom.  I, too, hope that we
YellowApplans may set a positive example of the Harmonist ideals of
love and tolerance.

> Five acres will be purchased (or allocated) and donated to
> Yellowapple at no cost. TurtleShroom will erect a simple station
> halt next to the site, should the esteemed Major seek to travel
> throughout the country. Should the need arise, TurtleShroom will
> drill a well on the property at no cost. Electrical power lines will
> be laid to the property at no cost.

The stated accommodations are appreciated.  ¿Shall I assume
authorization to renovate facilities on the five acres of
ambassadorial grounds (e.g. the well, electrical power systems,
station halt, etc.)?  In particular, YellowApple, Inc. typically has
no issues constructing moisture vaporators and thermonuclear reactors
on embassy grounds.

> A dedicated phone hotline will be laid from the Legation Quarter to
> the Yellowapple site for purposes of instant communication, to
> compensate for the distance.

After discussion with the system administrator assigned to this
mission, I would like to request authorization to install a
superluminal communications node in the Legation Quarter to facilitate
bidirectional data communication both with the ambassadorial complex
and with the YellowApple Department of International Relations
directly.  This would be at our expense, of course.

> TurtleShroom is still in Yellowapple's debt for its gratuitous
> assistance in driving out the Urmanian Para-Sprite Locusts, so if
> the costs are reasonable and the resources acquirable by
> TurtleShroomian contractors, we are willing to waive the costs of
> construction and instead fund the materials ourselves. (If you bring
> your own materials, this point is moot.) Naturally, the Yellowapple
> Embassy will not be charged for electrical, water, and utility
> costs.

We certainly appreciate the kind gesture, though considering that we
have a rather substantial budget allocated for local construction
materials, we feel it appropriate to use those allocated funds to
purchase local materials should the costs not be "reasonable".  We do
not expect such unreasonability, however; most of the more exotic
materials (like graphene, nanotubes, and other carbon-based materials)
can be imported or constructed on-site (and in fact, this mission's
Corporate Representative will likely be in contact with the relevant
authorities to negotiate the construction of manufacturing facilities
and other YellowApple, Inc. commercial establishments, thus creating a
local supply chain for such materials and providing numerous jobs to
Turtleshroomers).

> Your application affirms that the esteemed Major was once a consumer
> of non-tobacco recreational drugs or was a drunkard. As you have not
> given any further specifics, we will need conduct drug tests on the
> esteemed Major until full information and proof of sobriety are
> presented.

I hereby consent to such testing.  In the interest of full
transparency:

- I did consume alcohol rather heavily during my youth, prior to
  enlistment in the Aerospace Marine Corps.

- With the sole exception of a glass of champagne in celebration of my
  retirement from the Aerospace Marine Corps and my transfer into the
  Department of International Relations, the only alcohol (or other
  recreational drugs, for that matter) I have consumed since my
  original enlistment in the Aerospace Marine Corps has been
  sacramental wine as part of church services.


I look forward to lasting peace and prosperity between our nations.

Sincerely,

Senior Representative Ferrous Fungi
YellowApple Department of International Relations
Turtleshroom Diplomatic Mission



P.S. if my military rank is to be used, I should clarify that my final
rank after all periods of service was Colonel; my rank of Major was
the final rank of only the first of my three periods of non-inactive
military enlistment status.  My apologies for not making that more
clear in the registration form.

by **TURTLESHROOM II** » Fri Mar 24, 2017 10:26 pm

KINGDOM OF THE UNITED TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM
EXECUTIVE CABINET
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS
DEAN

YOUR HONOR:

Thank you for your reply and answers to your dispatch.

YellowApple wrote:The stated accommodations are appreciated. Shall I assume
authorization to renovate facilities on the five acres of
ambassadorial grounds (e.g. the well, electrical power systems,
station halt, etc.)? In particular, YellowApple, Inc. typically has
no issues constructing moisture vaporators and thermonuclear reactors
on embassy grounds.

The Dry Dry Desert is named as such for a reason. It gets quite cool in the evening, but it is by its nature a hot sand desert. Dew does not last long and the humidity is always near zero. Nonetheless, your request to install a water vapor suction unit has been granted, to supplement the well.

The owners of the rail lines outside your complex, unfortunately, will not tolerate Yellowapple renovations to the Station Halt. They argue that you are lucky to be on their trains at all. As the railroad companies have absolute authority over themselves and have a right to discriminate at-will, I cannot interfere. The Junta had to force its will on private companies to allow for them to provide complementary travel in the first place, which they readily agreed to because of the development it would bring. Officially, the Station Halt is owned by the railroad company, despite being erected by the state.
(Thankfully, the trains are required to allow you to ride as an Ambassador.)

Your request to erect a nuclear power plant has been denied, for obvious reasons. Yellowapple is not authorized by the TurtleShroomian state to power one building with such incredible nuclear power.
It'd be a waste to use that much electricity on one building, unless Yellowapple is willing to compete with TurtleShroomian firms for electrical power. If you wish to invest in the TurtleShroomian markets, feel free to do so (assuming you can either buy more land or stuff a full-blown fusion plant onto five acres), but understand that your plant will be monitored by the Atomic Branch of the military (and may be converted for military purposes whenever needed, as with all nuclear plants).
That is a matter of foreign direct investment, not the Legation Quarter.

YellowApple wrote:After discussion with the system administrator assigned to this
mission, I would like to request authorization to install a
superluminal communications node in the Legation Quarter to facilitate
bidirectional data communication both with the ambassadorial complex
and with the YellowApple Department of International Relations
directly. This would be at our expense, of course.

You will use the telephone hotline and TurtleShroomian infrastructure to communicate with the TurtleShroomian state. However, your request to install a teleconference console for purposes of communicating with your homeland has been granted.

YellowApple wrote:We certainly appreciate the kind gesture, though considering that we
have a rather substantial budget allocated for local construction
materials, we feel it appropriate to use those allocated funds to
purchase local materials should the costs not be "reasonable". We do
not expect such unreasonability, however; most of the more exotic
materials (like graphene, nanotubes, and other carbon-based materials)
can be imported or constructed on-site (and in fact, this mission's
Corporate Representative will likely be in contact with the relevant
authorities to negotiate the construction of manufacturing facilities
and other YellowApple, Inc. commercial establishments, thus creating a
local supply chain for such materials and providing numerous jobs to
Turtleshroomers).

That is the affairs of the Free Market. Understand that many of those exotic materials are wholly incompatible with existing TurtleShroomian infrastructure, limiting their use to your Embassy and any consulates you may erect under your auspices.

YellowApple wrote:I hereby consent to such testing. In the interest of full
transparency:

- I did consume alcohol rather heavily during my youth, prior to
enlistment in the Aerospace Marine Corps.

- With the sole exception of a glass of champagne in celebration of my
retirement from the Aerospace Marine Corps and my transfer into the
Department of International Relations, the only alcohol (or other
recreational drugs, for that matter) I have consumed since my
original enlistment in the Aerospace Marine Corps has been
sacramental wine as part of church services.

Your demonstration of temperence for the past five years removes your qualification for requisite drug testing or a need for a sobriety aide.

YellowApple wrote:If my military rank is to be used, I should clarify that my final
rank after all periods of service was Colonel; my rank of Major was
the final rank of only the first of my three periods of non-inactive
military enlistment status. My apologies for not making that more
clear in the registration form.

Duly noted. Corrections will be installed immediately.

It is a honor to establish relations with your great nation.

Thank you.
-DEAN OF THE TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS, IN REPRESENTATION OF THE MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS OF THE KINGDOM OF TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM

by **Thermodolia** » Fri Mar 24, 2017 11:39 pm

by **Skyhooked** » Sat Mar 25, 2017 9:59 am

PART I: BASIC INFORMATION

FULL COUNTRY NAME:The Libertarian commonwealth of Skyhooked

GOVERNMENT TYPE/DESCRIPTION:Anarcho-mutualist democracy.
IS YOUR NATION A MARXIST STATE OR NAZI/NATIONAL SOCIALIST STATE? (Y/N) – Nope.

LEGATE’S NAME: Jack Ramsey

LEGATE’S SPECIES: Human

LEGATE’S GENDER: Male.

AGE OF LEGATE: 34 Years old.

DESCRIPTION OF LEGATE***:

1m, 78cm height, white, has dark hair.

BIOGRAPHY OF LEGATE:

Jack Ramsey comes from Petit Lyon city. He got his high education in Skyhookedian Institute of International Relations and got a degree, which helped him to get a job in diplomacy staff. In his 23 he accepted and converted to Buddhism, and learned many things during that time.

PART II: SPECIFICS OF LEGATE

LEGATE’S RELIGION (include both religion and sect if applicable, e.g. “Russian Orthodox Christian”, etc.) Buddhism

LEGATE’S POLITICAL AFFILIATION: He agrees with most Skyhookedian ideas but he is quite apathetic.

LEGATE’S MARITAL STATUS: Non-married.

LEGATE’S CRIMINAL RECORD: N/A

HEIGHT OF LEGATE: 1m, 78cm.

DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE ANY NON-MAGICAL/INNATE/PSYCHIC POWERS? – Except for ability to meditate deeply, no.
IF SO, WHAT ARE THEY? ARE THEY EXTRAORDINARY FOR HIS SPECIES? (Y/N) –

HAS YOUR LEGATE EVER DIVORCED? (Y/N) – No.
IF SO, ON WHAT GROUNDS? – N/A

BEFORE HIS ASSIGNMENT, WAS YOUR LEGATE IN A COHABITATIONAL LIVING ARRANGEMENT WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX OF HIS SPECIES? (Y/N) - Nope.

IS YOUR LEGATE AN ORDAINED CLERGYMAN OF HIS FAITH?****** (Y/N) – No, he is just a follower.

DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE A MILITARY BACKGROUND OR EXPERIENCE? (Y/N) – He knows some martial arts, but nothing more.

HAS YOUR LEGATE EVER BEEN INVOLVED IN ESPIONAGE, FOREIGN OR DOMESTIC? (Y/N) – No.

IS YOUR LEGATE A NOBLEMAN/OF NOBLE BLOOD/HOLDING A TITLE OF NOBILITY? (Y/N)******* – No.

PART III: LEGATION ACCOMPYNAMENT AND ADD-ONS

PERSONAL WEAPONS OF LEGATE, FAMILY, AND STAFF****:
Tanto knife, 357. Revolver - Jack Ramsey
M-4 Assault Rifle, two grenades, tazer - Lieutenant John Wolf.
12 Gauge sawn-off shotgun.- Attache Sam Toreno.

LEGATE’S TRANSPORTATION (optional):

LEGATE’S FAMILY BEING BROUGHT IN (list each with short description and relation)

LEGATE’S STAFF (list each, with reason for presence):

Lieutenant John "Wolf" - Guard
Sam Toreno.-Attache

LEGATE SPECIAL NEEDS AND ACCOMODATIONS

DOES YOUR LEGATE TOLERATE THE PRESENCE OF NON-HUMANS, OR IS HE WILLING TO DO SO? (Y/N) – Yes he does.

IS YOUR LEGATE NOW, OR HAS HE EVER BEEN, A DRUNKARD, CONSUMER OF ALCOHOL, OR ADDICT TO ANY RECREATIONAL/NON-PHARMACEUTICAL DRUG ASIDE FROM TOBACCO?***** (Y/N) – No. He was addicted to hemp and alcohol before he became a buddhist. Right now he doesn't have any addiction. And doesn't consume any alcohol.

DOES YOUR LEGATE NEED CUSTOM/SPECIAL/ADAPTED PLUMBING? (Y/N) – No.
IF SO, WHAT IS IT:N/A

DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE ANY MEDICAL CONDITIONS? (Y/N) – No
IF SO, WHAT ARE THEY? – N/A

IS YOUR LEGATE OF SOUND MIND? (Y/N) - Yes. We wouldn't send someone insane as diplomat.

DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE ANY PHSYCIAL HANDICAPS NECCESITATING ACCESSIBILITY? (Y/N) – No.
IF SO, WHAT ARE THEY? –N/A

DOES YOUR LEGATE HAVE ANY ALLERGIES? (Y/N) – No.

IS YOUR LEGATE CAPABLE OF USING A TELEPHONE, FAX MACHINE, OR COMPUTER? (Y/N) – All of them.

THE CAPITAL OF TURTLESHROOM IS JONESBORO, WHICH IS IN A JUNGLE. CAN YOUR LEGATE WITHSTAND A TROPICAL RAINFOREST BIOME WITH A CLEARLY DEFINED, MONSOON WET/DRY SEASON CLIMATE? (Y/N) – Climate in Skyhooked is tropical too. So yes.

REQUIRED FOR ADMISSION

DOES YOUR LEGATE AGREE TO ALL TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF DWELLING IN THE TURTLESHROOMIAN LEGATION QUARTER, INCLUDING SUBJECTION TO TURTLESHROOMIAN LAWS, EXTRATERRITORIALITY, AND RESPONSIBILITIES TO HIMSELF, HIS PROPERTY, AND OTHERS? (Y/N) –Y

[BLOCTEXT]ETC.[/BLOCKTEXT]

DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR THE TURTLESHROOMIAN DIPLOMATIC CORPS? -

Ideologically and culturally we are very different. Would it be possible to maintain better relations?

DO YOU HAVE ANY ADDITIONAL NOTES, CLARIFICATIONS, OR ALERTS YOU WISH TO ISSUE THE TURTLESHROOMIAN DIPLOMATIC CORPS? -[/b]

DO YOU WISH FOR TURTLESHROOM TO ESTABLISH A DIPLOMATIC PRESENCE IN YOUR NATION'S LEGATION QUARTERS/ETC.? (link) - Maybe, if our relations go well.

_____________________________________
SIGNED

by **TURTLESHROOM II** » Sat Mar 25, 2017 1:49 pm

KINGDOM OF THE UNITED TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM
EXECUTIVE CABINET
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS
DEAN

TO THE PRESIDENCY OF THE THERMODOLITE REPUBLIC AND ITS MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
YOUR EXCELLENCY:

We are very displeased with your rude conduct and insults directed at our nation. Your application has been been DENIED.

We are offended by your slight to our nation and to the laws of the Legation Quarter. Not only was your Legate in violation of the rules of a no-female Legation (that's only for Ambassadors), she is in a same-sex union and wishes to bring her mistress to make a mockery of our laws! If you were attempting to make a show by insulting a nation unlike yours in terms of social politics, this is a low blow and a classless act.

Of course, this is what we would except from a woman who Live-Action Role Plays as a "Christian" while openly spitting upon God and the Bible, as she engages in wanton lust with her same-sex misstress! I would never speak of Hell to an Atheist or unbeliever, but for anyone who lies about being a Christian and openly and knowingly practices a lifestyle of unreprentant sexual immorality, in violation of both Testaments of the Bible, we will gladly remind them of the cost of mocking God.

As a response to your hostility and mockery of the TurtleShroomian nation, your proposed Legate, her family, her mistress, and all referenced staff have been barred entry from TurtleShroom until the Thermodolite government issues a formal apology to the national government.

If your proposed Legate is truly a Christian, then she had better own up to her sin, turn away from it, dismiss her mistress, and beg God for forgiveness. because there is a special place in Hell for people that pretend they are Christian and openly make a mockery of God by flaunting their sin in His face by going to church and refusing to turn from their sins.

If you're going to make fun of us by dispatching an open homosexual, please send an Atheist, Agnostic, or other unbeliever so we don't have to remind them that God will not be mocked.

A pox upon Liz Greshwin and all who support her mockery of God!

-DEAN OF THE TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS, IN REPRESENTATION OF THE MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS OF THE KINGDOM OF TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM

by **TURTLESHROOM II** » Sat Mar 25, 2017 2:18 pm

KINGDOM OF THE UNITED TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM
EXECUTIVE CABINET
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS
DEAN

TO THE HEAD OF STATE OF THE SKYHOOKED REGIME
YOUR HONOR:

Thank you for your application. Although the relations between TurtleShroomers and Skyhookites are understandably cold, we are welcome to accept any realm into the Legation Quarter if they agree to honor our laws.

Your choice of dispatching a teetotaling, Buddhist ascetic as a Legate was a very honorable and much-appreciated gesture of respect and good will to the TurtleShroomian people. As such, His Honor's application has been ACCEPTED IN FULL.

Though fiercely socially conservative, TurtleShroom has always remained an economically libertarian regime. Freedom and protection of the innocent is important to us, but honestly, that is where the similarities end. Skyhooked is not well known to TurtleShroom, but Skyhookite tourists have never been very enjoyable in the country, due to their rowdy attitudes and unclean behavior.

We are very surprised that a nation engaged in such decadence, drugs, and sexual lust (and the profiting of the same) would be interested in establishing relations with us, but one part of diplomacy is goodwill to those unlike yourself.

His Honor and company are of normal size and build for humans, so we will have no need to make a custom powder blue robe for His Honor, or sashes for His Honor's companions. The vestments will be presented upon entry.

We have received the identification papers and other documentation for His Honor and his entourage, and have found no deficiencies. All requests to bring in weapons have been granted. All proposed staff requests have been granted.

As is required of all foreign diplomats, His Honor and company will be fingerprinted and blood samples will be drawn for DNA purposes.

Perhaps, one day should God so will, your people will see the light and turn from their sexual, unholy ways. Even if they do not, we nonetheless wish for the success, properity, and peace of the Skyhookite nation and the goodwill of its population.

Thank you.
-DEAN OF THE TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS, IN REPRESENTATION OF THE MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS OF THE KINGDOM OF TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM

by **Skyhooked** » Sat Mar 25, 2017 3:21 pm

From: Skyhookedian governemnt
To: TurtleShroom governemnt.

We thank you for such warm reception of our delegate. You were right, when mentioned that we picked him. We really had to check through many diplomates before we found right one, since most of them won't satisfy all the qualifications your side stated and thus sending them would be an insult. Yeah, the common stereotypes about us are not wrong, finding a teetotalling Skyhookedian, who is also totally ascetic is a pretty hard task.

While we won't agree on almost every social issue, trade between us would be possible. We would like to propose to open trade between our sides. Originally we planned to establish a trade outpost within your territory, however that would be problematic due to your strict social laws. Finding an ascetic delegate is one thing, however finding ascetic personell for even small outpost, which can also trade well would be extremely hard. Thus if our trade proposal is accepted, the trade outpost will be established close to your country, but not in your borders, so our way of life won't be a problem.

Also we would like to note your police force efficiency. And ask how did your side manage to neutralize so many rioters while keeping casualties to a minimum. Especially civilian ones. We hope to even get some hints on that.

by **The Ctan** » Mon Mar 27, 2017 12:06 am

Transmission Source: Her Royal Highness Luna, Mistress of the Night and Princess Regnant of the Principality of Princess Luna, Special Emissary of the Great Civilization of the C’tan
Destination: General Long, Turtleshroom
CC: -
Subject: Turtleshroomer Diplomatic Policy
Security: Unencrypted - Open Letter

Dear Grandmaster Long,

It is my sad duty to write to you with news which you may find unpleasant; my brothers and sisters in the Great Civilization have regretfully been forced to choose to decline to participate in your emissary exchange programme. I have volunteered to explain our reasoning.

The first reason is simple; our representatives are not just liasons for our interests, but representatives and, we hope, exemplars of our culture. The social conditions that you have listed as prerequisite are unacceptable to us on the grounds that submitting to such an indignity is not compatible with our culture; our culture is based on freedom and self-determination.

I will now list some of the points to which we object.

He shall be male (if his species is human, or his species has sexual dimorphism and two genders/sexes, asexual and single-sex creatures are exempt).
- Unacceptable on the grounds of gender equality.
He shall be of his homeland’s age of majority if not human, or sixteen if human.
- We decide who is competent to represent us.
He shall be of upright and virtuous moral character.
- On this at least, we agree, but it is not up to you to decide who we deem upright and virtuous.
He shall not be a consumer of any recreational drug aside from tobacco (pharmaceuticals are fully exempt).
- Unacceptable on the grounds of personal freedom.
If human, he shall be a virgin or married to one wife.
- None of your beeswax turtleshroomer!
He shall have no felonies in his homeland.
- We do not have this specific category of crime, and our legal system is not for you to decide.
He shall be an organic life form (no machines).
- Rejected on the grounds of personal equality.
If non-corporal or spiritual, he shall not be a demon, as defined under Christian theology and TurtleShroomian law. (He shall be given the opportunity to explain his species and defend himself as he so wishes before his acceptance.)
- Inappropriate if perhaps irrelevant, I am not aware of any of your culture's strange definition of demons in our culture.
He shall not be a vampire, werewolf, resurrected being, or supernatural entity hostile to the Christian religion. (Ghosts are permitted.)
- Unacceptable.
If he qualifies as a zombie, he must demonstrate full mental competency and ability to demonstrate self-control against all zombie-based temptations.
- It is improbable anyone would want to send a feral zombie as an emissary, as our foreign policy is more complex than 'braaaaiiiins' though if we were to train one to say 'slaaaaver-braaaainnnns' we would possibly consider it.
Has never committed a felony in his country.
- You have already mentioned this one.
If the Legate is a Nekomimi, Kitsune, or other human/animal chimera, he shall be required to observe any applicable John Raven/segregationist laws in cities, and shall wear a veil over his animal ears and obscure his tail in long pants, robes, or skirts.
- Unacceptable on the grounds of personal freedom.
If his species or culture practices magic, he either shall be a layman (non-sorcerer) or sign an oath not to use his powers and, before arriving, if he so wills, bind himself by sigil or other means not to use them, if such is available. (Telekinesis, psychic powers, and levitation are exempt for creatures without limbs or means of movement. Mind reading is strictly forbidden.)
- We can sympathise with a ban on telepathy that can be used to gain advantage in negotiation, but the rest is wholly unacceptable.
He shall not be an open homosexual or a member of a non-heterosexual union.
- None of your beeswax turtleshroomer!
He shall not be a Satanist.
- I don't think we have these, but if we did, they would be eligible.
He shall not be a Pastafarian.
- What is this?
He shall not be a Scientologist.
- I had to search for that one on the internet, I don't think we have any. Very strange though. As with the Satanists.
He shall not knowingly and willingly consume or drink blood.
- This is a silly condition.
He shall not own slaves. Any slave brought to TurtleShroom by a Legate will be seized and emancipated by a Legate.
- Actually, on this one, we agree.
He shall not be a sentient pony (Yellowapple is exempt) or a follower of a Ponyist religion.
- Your intolerance of our kind damns you.

Your other conditions are also preposterous, our technology is also part of our culture, and we would certainly not use your deliberately oppressive system of communications.

In short, we will not be sending you an ambassador, and if we ever choose to send you a special emissary, we will do so under our own terms, and woe-betide you if you do not grant them the customary respect such persons receive regardless of who we choose to represent us. You have been warned.

~ Luna

by **Allanea** » Mon Mar 27, 2017 9:28 am

Dear allies!

The Free Kingdom of Allanea, as an ally of Turtleshroom, is willing to comply with your requests, within reason. We do not pretend to understand these requests, however we will comply with them. We wish to apply, for this reason, for the reason

The Free Kingdom’s legate will be Dr. Aloisius T. Bacon. He is not a cleric, however he does follow Ioun, the Goddess of Knowledge. His religious worship consists of studying and teaching medicine. For this reason, and as part of his religious service, he will carry out lectures on medical topics for both ordinary Shroomer citizens (once per two weeks, on topics such as CPR, basic medical prevention, and home aid for common diseases), and medical professionals (on the various advances in medical science).

It should be fairly stated that while Dr. Bacon does not consume tobacco, alcohol, and recreational drugs, he does consume pharmaceuticals intended to aid in concentration. He will not distribute, or share these pharmaceutical substances with any individual. He is capable of using some magic, but will abstain from its use. For self-defense, he will maintain shotgun in his room, and open-carry a full-size pistol.

In addition, we wish to have permission to establish a library within the embassy premises. It will have available in it:

1,000 History titles on the history of Allanea and major Greater Prussian cultures, such as Menelmacar, New Dornalia, Reichskamphen, and others.
Language textbooks in Allanean English, Allanean Russian, Quenya, Hebrew, German, French, and other langauges.
1,000 medical and biology titles.
10,000 volumes of literary classics from the above cultures, to include novels, plays, poetry, children’s novels, etc.
Copies of the religious texts of the major religions, including major translations of the Bible, the Koran, the Norse myths, and others, the works of major Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, and Muslim interpreters, works on the philosophy, history, and sociology of religion, both oriented for laymen and college students. Three copies of the Hebrew Quassuto edition Tanach and the Talmud will be made available.
500 art history and architectural history books.

Beyond this, the embassy will organize lectures of prominent Allanean academics via cooperations programs between Turtleshroom and Allanean universities.

We hope you accept this offer.

by **YellowApple** » Mon Mar 27, 2017 1:34 pm


YellowApple Department of International Relations
Official Diplomatic Transmission


To the Dean of the Turtleshroomian State Diplomatic Corps:

Thank you again for your responses and clarifications.  After
consulting with some of my own advisors, I just have a few more
clarifications to accompany our admittedly-unconventional requests.

> The Dry Dry Desert is named as such for a reason. It gets quite cool
> in the evening, but it is by its nature a hot sand desert. Dew does
> not last long and the humidity is always near zero.

We are well aware (and I am personally quite aware, having been
deployed to the Dry Dry Desert during my first tour of duty with the
AMC).  YellowApple, Inc.'s AppleSeed AMV02 series of atmospheric
moisture vaporators is designed specifically for extracting water from
desert climates.  This does come at a high power cost, however;
hence...

> Yellowapple is not authorized by the TurtleShroomian state to power
> one building with such incredible nuclear power.  It'd be a waste to
> use that much electricity on one building, unless Yellowapple is
> willing to compete with TurtleShroomian firms for electrical power.

YellowApple, Inc.'s AppleSeed HFR01P Portable Hydrogen-Fusion Reactor
systems are actually quite portable and relatively low-power (in the
sense that their power outputs are more appropriate for city blocks
than entire cities).  We typically deploy them as backup power systems
(or even primary power systems in areas with limited electrical
infrastructure).  We understand if this is still unacceptable to local
and national authorities.  We would be willing to make this available
for monitoring and utilization by the Atomic Branch of your nation's
military (though we doubt it has the capacity to power substantial
military operations).

Thank you for your understanding and consideration for these - again -
rather unconventional requests.  I look forward to continued peace and
prosperity between our nations.

Sincerely,

Senior Representative Ferrous Fungi
YellowApple Department of International Relations
Turtleshroom Diplomatic Mission

by **The Lunar Domain** » Tue Mar 28, 2017 4:04 pm

The New Lunar Republic of the Lunar Domain
Minister of Foreign Affairs
Department of Foreign Diplomacy

To whom it may concern,

We would like to thank you for the establishment of diplomatic relations between our two nations on both ends.
We also apologize for our delayed response in regards to certain issues.
With regards to the Type-4 energy sword, Liha 'Wavumai has, after a great deal of convincing, consented to the "temporary use of the other sword".
With regards to the fingerprinting and DNA profiling of Liha 'Wavumai, he is fully willing to do so.
We would also like to clarify that it is not only space and technology that separates us, but universes as well - a seperator we have only overcome (rather unintentionally) in the past decade. Nonetheless, Turtleshroom is far from a backwater nation in our eyes - your reputation proceeds you.

Signed,

The Minister of Foreign Affairs

by **TURTLESHROOM II** » Tue Mar 28, 2017 5:44 pm

KINGDOM OF THE UNITED TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM
EXECUTIVE CABINET
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS
DEAN

YOUR HIGHNESS, THE PRINCESS:

Our nations have made peace with one-another and we lifted our embargo on your nation, because we were delighted and honored by what seemed, at the time, to be a sincere and heartfelt apology for the mistakes of the Dark Harvest invasion. You have since acknowledged the honor of the TurtleShroomian state and the brave dignity of its people.

As such, we were greatly shocked to receive a bigoted reply towards our gracious invitation, and have also noticed that you seemed to have failed to read the entire policy. Your nation qualified for a full Embassy, and was therefore exempt from the rules concerning both gender AND species; you would not have been subject to many of the rules we extend towards Legates.

While you sit upon your customary high horse and look down on our requirements, ask yourself: would YOU want some foreigner making a mockery of your nation and its values? Would YOU want someone so condescending of another nation's laws and culture to reside in your halls?

Considering that you are too arrogant to think about anyone but yourselves, allow me to break down a rebuttal to your arguments and hatred of our people's ways.

The Ctan wrote:
He shall be male (if his species is human, or his species has sexual dimorphism and two genders/sexes, asexual and single-sex creatures are exempt).
Unacceptable on the grounds of gender equality.

As an eligible nation for an Embassy, your nation was exempt from this rule.

The Ctan wrote:
He shall be of his homeland’s age of majority if not human, or sixteen if human.
We decide who is competent to represent us.

So great is your arrogance, that you believe that children can represent you because they are somehow a master race?

The Ctan wrote:
He shall be of upright and virtuous moral character.
On this at least, we agree, but it is not up to you to decide who we deem upright and virtuous.

TurtleShroomian land, TurtleShroomian rules. We would expect you to treat us the same: if we respect your laws, you should respect ours. Besides, your nation committed PERFIDY against TurtleShroom, which is the height of dishonor. (Yet we forgave you!)

The Ctan wrote:
He shall not be a consumer of any recreational drug aside from tobacco (pharmaceuticals are fully exempt).
Unacceptable on the grounds of personal freedom.

What is unacceptable is that you mock our laws and treat our nation and her sovereigntly like a sandbox you can stomp on. In TurtleShroom, there is Prohibition, and Prohibition is law.

The Ctan wrote:
If human, he shall be a virgin or married to one wife.
None of your beeswax turtleshroomer!

It is our business if he lives in our Legation Quarter, horse!

The Ctan wrote:
He shall have no felonies in his homeland.
We do not have this specific category of crime, and our legal system is not for you to decide.

Well excuse me, Princess. I must have forgotten to read your mind and research the legal system of an intergalactic empire. My bad.

The Ctan wrote:
He shall be an organic life form (no machines).
Rejected on the grounds of personal equality.

At their height, machines are vessels of men's consciousness, not men themselves. Even the mighty Victorious Decepticons, proud as they are of being awe-inspiring war machines, are aware that their conscience has been uploaded into a machine, or in the case of the most ancient of their machines, was coded by an organic lifeform.

No machine assembles itself and develops sentience on its own. Organic lifeforms, somewhere down the line, have to have been in the process.

The Ctan wrote:
If non-corporal or spiritual, he shall not be a demon, as defined under Christian theology and TurtleShroomian law. (He shall be given the opportunity to explain his species and defend himself as he so wishes before his acceptance.)
Inappropriate if perhaps irrelevant, I am not aware of any of your culture's strange definition of demons in our culture.

What is inappropriate or not for OUR Legation Quarter is for OUR Legation Quarter to decide. We determine what cosntitutes a demon if that creature is to be considered to be a Legate in our country.

The Ctan wrote:
He shall not be a vampire, werewolf, resurrected being, or supernatural entity hostile to the Christian religion. (Ghosts are permitted.)
Unacceptable.

The keyword is "HOSTILE" to the Christian religion! The Necrontyr Empire is not hostile to the Christian religion itself, nor are any of its chief species! We have never witnessed you dispatch vampires or werewolves to us!

The Ctan wrote:
If the Legate is a Nekomimi, Kitsune, or other human/animal chimera, he shall be required to observe any applicable John Raven/segregationist laws in cities, and shall wear a veil over his animal ears and obscure his tail in long pants, robes, or skirts.
Unacceptable on the grounds of personal freedom.

Well excuse me, Princess. I'm sure there's some sort of entity in Nationstates that repulses you, or some sort of unnatural, unholy union that produces a creature that repulses you and defies your nation's scientific or theological minds and logic.

The Ctan wrote:
If his species or culture practices magic, he either shall be a layman (non-sorcerer) or sign an oath not to use his powers and, before arriving, if he so wills, bind himself by sigil or other means not to use them, if such is available. (Telekinesis, psychic powers, and levitation are exempt for creatures without limbs or means of movement. Mind reading is strictly forbidden.)
We can sympathise with a ban on telepathy that can be used to gain advantage in negotiation, but the rest is wholly unacceptable.

What is wholly unacceptable is mocking our laws by sending a sorcerer. What if someone sent a slaver to your nation? You'd kill him, right? Yet you balk at us daring to have standards?

The Ctan wrote:
He shall not be an open homosexual or a member of a non-heterosexual union.
None of your beeswax turtleshroomer!

Well excuse me, Princess. It is our business if you wish to send US a representative to OUR Legation Quarter. You wouldn't accept a slaver in your Legation Quarter, so why would you deny us the same right to deny a sexual deviant?

The Ctan wrote:
He shall not be a Satanist.
I don't think we have these, but if we did, they would be eligible.
He shall not be a Pastafarian.
What is this?
He shall not be a Scientologist.
I had to search for that one on the internet, I don't think we have any. Very strange though. As with the Satanists.

There are two classes of Satanists: the theological Satanists who actually worship the devil (the embodiment of evil in Judaism and Christianity, and all Abrahamic religions to a lesser extent), and the Atheists who take up the devil's mantle in order to troll and harrass people who believe in religions by abusing privileges granted to religions.

Pastafarianism is a scam and is used by Atheists to harass people who believe in organized religions by abusing laws and privileges granted to religions. It also abuses tax-exempt statuses to promote its harassment and, despite claiming to be a religion, engages in no charitable work.

Scientology is a dangerous cult that promises its path to enlightenment and happiness on the condition of rendering funds for their "services". It is hostile to its own members who try to leave and is known for both secretive and dishonest behavior to enrich itself and its powers. Like Pastafarianism, it abuses its tax-exempt status.

You didn't bother to research any of these provisions, but you expected us to to know that you didn't have a felony class of crimes? You hypocrites!

The Ctan wrote:
He shall not knowingly and willingly consume or drink blood.
This is a silly condition.

Well excuse me, Princess. How dare we have a culture and values system that is different than yours!

The Ctan wrote:
He shall not be a sentient pony (Yellowapple is exempt) or a follower of a Ponyist religion.
Your intolerance of our kind dooms you.

-and your hubris dooms you. As a nation qualified for an Embassy, the species rule and anti-pony provisions do not apply to you, and neither do gender rules.

The Ctan wrote:Your other conditions are also preposterous, our technology is also part of our culture, and we would certainly not use your deliberately oppressive system of communications.

If you had actually taken some time to get off that high horse and read some of the other people applying to our Legation Quarter, you would have seen that we gladly granted reasonable exemptions. The computer was a GIFT from us to your nation, not a compulsary system.

TurtleShroom's technology and infrastructure is not as advanced as your own. The telephone and the fax machine are not oppressive inventions, and the Internet does not exist in TurtleShroom because our PSTN infrastructure cannot handle the sheer weight of the phone calls and Internet bandwidth of one billion creatures. (The fact that the Internet is Nationstates' primary source of pornography is a secondary reason.)

The Ctan wrote:In short, we will not be sending you an ambassador.

Good, because you have demonstrated your absolute unworthiness of having your bigoted presence in our Legation Quarter.

The Ctan wrote:If we ever choose to send you a special emissary, we will do so under our own terms, and woe-betide you if you do not grant them the customary respect such persons receive regardless of who we choose to represent us. You have been warned.

Why should we grant your goons any respect if you won't show any respect to our laws or our nation? Imagine if there was a nation stronger than you, who had the audacity to demand that you accomodate whoever they send for whatever reason. Imagine if that nation, stronger than you, was a slave state and demanded that you accomodate a slaveowner.
When you objected, they told you they were sending him anyway and that you "had been warned".

THIS is why you have made enemies across Nationstates, and this is why we have such difficulty trusting your nation.

You were clearly lying to us if this is how you treat our invitation after we accepted your alleged "apology".
We overlooked your comission of PERFIDY against our people to forgive you, because we insisted on treating you as Jesus would have treated you. You dare walk over our mercy and forgiveness in such an obscene way?

One day, you will pay for your unequated hubris. Somewhere, some day, there will be an empire that will put you in your place. Learn to humble yourselves, or your empire will one day match the glory of Rome!

Even ALLANEA has consented to these agreements! Yet you are so arrogant that you will not?!

God will one day show you the folly of your bigoted arrogance.

-DEAN OF THE TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS, IN REPRESENTATION OF THE MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS OF THE KINGDOM OF TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM

TURTLESHROOM LEGATION QUARTER REGISTRATION [OPEN TO ALL]

TURTLESHROOM LEGATION QUARTER REGISTRATION [OPEN TO ALL]

Well EXCUSE ME, Princess

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