LEGATION QUARTER
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KINGDOM OF THE UNITED TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM
! PROVISIONARY INDEPENDENT GOVERNING BODY !
ARMED FORCES OF TURTLESHROOM
SECOND SACRED JUNTA OF TURTLESHROOM
REACTIONARY GRANDMASTER
BE IT ENACTED, DECLARED, AND DECREED THAT I, GENERAL BUBBA BUBBAVICH LONG II, WITH UNANIMOUS CONSENT OF THE SECOND SACRED JUNTA OF TURTLESHROOM, DO HEREBY ESTABLISH A FOREIGN LEGATION QUARTER FOR THE PURPOSE OF PERMANENT DIPLOMATIC EXCHANGES WITH TURTLESHROOM AND FOREIGN REALMS.
ENACTED THIS TWENTIETH OF MARCH, IN THE YEAR ANNO DOMINI TWO THOUSAND SEVENTEEN.
BY JUNTA DECREE
-ONE STAR GOVERNOR-GENERAL BUBBA BUBBAVICH LONG, GRANDMASTER OF THE SECOND SACRED JUNTA OF TURTLESHROOM, DEFENDER OF THE NATION.(BY JUNTA DECREE)
(BY JUNTA DECREE)http://web.archive.org/web/20131108043639/img138.imageshack.us/img138/3274/52502538.png
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KINGDOM OF THE UNITED TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM
EXECUTIVE CABINET
MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS
DEAN
Welcome, men of Nationstates.
Since its founding in 1796 AD, the Kingdom of Turtles, Mushrooms, and Men of TurtleShroom has never maintained a truly official embassy corps.
In 1796 AD, relations with the Russian Crown were formalized with the dispatch of an Imperial consul on behalf of the Tsar. This Consulate was closed in 1917 AD after the defeat of the Russian Whites and the TurtleShroomian support forces that aided them. It was opened back in 1991 AD as a true embassy.
In 1860 AD, a formal embassy was extended to the Confederate States of America (and several legations were opened under its authority for other Confederate-cultured and ideological states). After the fall of the original Confederacy, the embassy was converted and downgraded into an American consulate, but it continued to keep its embassy in Montgomery, Alabama.
TurtleShroom has also maintained informal, unofficial consulates with multiple allies and mutual trade partners*, but these never received any form of full recognition.
However, this policy of informal diplomacy changed in 2017 AD, by decree of the Second Sacred Junta over the fierce objections of the TurtleShroomian government and the indifference of the TurtleShroomian people.
Effective immediately, each of the hundred of rooms in the old state-owned (former) hotel bought in the seventies (nicknamed “the Slum”), is to be converted into full, permanent residency suites for Legates, Ambassadors, Consulates, and their family and guests.
In this article, matters pertaining to new Embassy decrees, security measures, privileges and immunities, protocols, and other such issues will be discussed, and concluded by a formal Embassy Form to sign up for permanent diplomatic relations in TurtleShroom.
PART ONE: THE LEGATION QUARTER
Built in the 1970s AD by a private company and purchased by the state after the end of the Fascist era, the TurtleShroomian State Motel was converted into public housing, and later into a homeless shelter before being closed in 1991 AD.
The building is narrow, but long and tall, reaching five stories. Over the past several months, it has been restored to working order, cleaned, maintained, and repaired for the purposes of the welcoming of a permanent diplomatic corps.
It has well over five hundred rooms, multiple hallways, and fully stocked, private bathrooms in every room.
This hotel is now the TurtleShroomian State Legation Quarter.
Amentities of the Legation Quarter include:
- Full breakfast, lunch, and dinner buffets with meals rotating weekly, available every day, all day.
- Air conditioning in every room.
- Analog televisions and radios in every room, VCR and Pay-Per-View included, fifty channels included free. (Television is considered to be object luxury and beyond the reach of many TurtleShroomers.)
- A full parking garage (under construction)** for all diplomatic vehicles.
- Full bathrooms, with a full tub/shower combination and two guaranteed working toilets (one human toilet and one turtle toilet, also used for other non-humans), stocked with all necessary utilities, and room to store your own toiletries.
- Full ATM and currency conversion center to both Skillet (state) and private currencies recognized in TS
- Spacious lobby
- Conference centers
- Self-service Christian chapel
- Complimentary computer!
- Full room service
- Outdoor pool
- Jacuzzi
- Casino
- Free long-distance/international calling
- Cleaning staff and maintenance staff always available
- Elevators included
- Full and unlimited use of all TurtleShroomian bus, rail, and other public transportation services for life (includes family and staff and includes after retirement), at no cost
- Discounts throughout Jonesboro on food and entertainment
Upon your admission to the Legation Quarter, the flag of your nation will be raised on a flagpole on Legation Quarter grounds with other nations’ flags, where it will fly so long as TurtleShroom has your Legation open.PART TWO: AMBASSADORIAL STATUS, TYPES, PRIVILEGES, IMMUNITIES,
AND LAWS GOVERNING THE LEGATION QUARTER
By default, all permanent diplomatic staff in TurtleShroom are Legates. Addressed as “Your Honor” and titled “Honored Legate [NAME]”, Legates enjoy limited privileges and immunities in TurtleShroom.
Full Ambassadorships in TurtleShroom are extended only to foreign allies and very special nations of interest by TurtleShroom. Ambassadors enjoy greater access to TurtleShroom and further privileges and immunities, as well as priority treatment in both ceremonial and diplomatic affairs.PART THREE: QUALIFICATIONS OF A LEGATE OR AMBASSADOR, ETC.
For a diplomat to qualify as a Legate under TurtleShroomian law:
- He shall be male (if his species is human, or his species has sexual dimorphism and two genders/sexes, asexual and single-sex creatures are exempt).
- He shall be of his homeland’s age of majority if not human, or sixteen if human.
- He shall be of upright and virtuous moral character.
- He shall not be a consumer of any recreational drug aside from tobacco (pharmaceuticals are fully exempt).
- If human, he shall be a virgin or married to one wife.
- He shall have no felonies in his homeland.
- He shall be an organic life form (no machines).
- If non-corporal or spiritual, he shall not be a demon, as defined under Christian theology and TurtleShroomian law. (He shall be given the opportunity to explain his species and defend himself as he so wishes before his acceptance.)
- He shall not be a vampire, werewolf, resurrected being, or supernatural entity hostile to the Christian religion. (Ghosts are permitted.)
- If he qualifies as a zombie, he must demonstrate full mental competency and ability to demonstrate self-control against all zombie-based temptations.
- Has never committed a felony in his country.
- If the Legate is a Nekomimi, Kitsune, or other human/animal chimera, he shall be required to observe any applicable John Raven/segregationist laws in cities, and shall wear a veil over his animal ears and obscure his tail in long pants, robes, or skirts.
- If his species or culture practices magic, he either shall be a layman (non-sorcerer) or sign an oath not to use his powers and, before arriving, if he so wills, bind himself by sigil or other means not to use them, if such is available. (Telekinesis, psychic powers, and levitation are exempt for creatures without limbs or means of movement. Mind reading is strictly forbidden.)
- He shall not be an open homosexual or a member of a non-heterosexual union.
- He shall not be a Satanist.
- He shall not be a Pastafarian.
- He shall not be a Scientologist.
- He shall not knowingly and willingly consume or drink blood.
- He shall not own slaves. Any slave brought to TurtleShroom by a Legate will be seized and emancipated by a Legate.
- He shall not be a sentient pony (Yellowapple is exempt) or a follower of a Ponyist religion.
Legates will be issued badges, flag pins representing their nation, and a powder blue robe or other powder blue garment tailored to fit their body in a similar manner to a robe. They will be expected to bring their identification documentation from their homeland, and the documentation of anyone they bring.
Legation staff and guardsmen will be issued a powder blue sash to be worn from shoulder to hip, or a belt-sash for use around their waist or other applicable body part. This ensures they receive their privileges and immunities alongside the Legate.
In accordance with TurtleShroomian tradition requiring government agents to wear their vestments of office, Legates will be expected to wear these at all times in TurtleShroom when outside of the Legation Quarter. A Legate will not be permitted to enjoy his privileges and immunities when not in his robe or vestment, except in emergencies.
If a Legate hails from a Marxist state, a National Socialist/Nazi state, or an Islamic state that also practices Sharia Law, he shall be subjected to additional scrutiny and restrictions, or may be denied entry into the Legation Quarter.
Violation of these qualifications will result in rejection of the Legate’s application or banishment from TurtleShroom.
(These are the qualifications of Legates. Ambassadors are subject to conditional requirements designated by TurtleShroom with the foreign nation rendering its Embassy, and do not neccesarily need to meet the same standards as a Legate.)PART FOUR: SPECIAL DIPLOMATS
Nations of certain government types and structures may receive different designations or treatments under TurtleShroomian law.
- Catholic theocracies not in communion with the TurtleShroomer Rite are referred to Antipapal Legates and are allowed to wear their clergy’s vestments and conduct private services at their leisure. If their congregation has a presence in TurtleShroom, they will be considered the de facto representative of that denomination. (Therefore, please send Cardinals.)
- All other Christian and non-Christian theocracies are subject to the same treatment and privileges as Antipapal Legates, as well as being held as the representative of their denomination, sect, or religion. Their manner of address, if non-Christian, shall be “Master”, and their title shall be “Theocracy Legate”.
- Papal Legates from the Papacy in communion with the TurtleShroomer Rite (currently Il Borgia Vaticano) are in fact classed as Ambassadors, despite their name.
- Members of landless nations, holy orders, military orders, and corporations not officially recognized as a sovereign nation shall be designated as Masters, and their manner of address shall be the same.
PART FIVE: LIMITATIONS OF TURTLESHROOMIAN INFRASTRUCTURE
We are sorry to issue the following notifications.
- The TurtleShroomian cellular network covers eighty percent of the country, but it is a 2G network, capable of phone calls, text messages, and caller ID. Outside of the cities, you will need to use a Satellite Phone.
There is no Internet in TurtleShroom. TurtleShroom relies on a system that is essentially a FTP/BBS service called the “SHADY-net” or “Shady Net”. The Legation Quarter will have a T-1 line run for its explicit use in every room.- Computer phones (“smart phones”) function in TurtleShroom, but as all cellular networks are 2-G, they do little more than look pretty when making calls. (Apps are shared via FTP and there is a niche community of programmers for computer phones.)
- There is no Wi-Fi in TurtleShroom.
- In some parts of the country, TurtleShroom's tap water and groundwater are mildly irradiated due to massive uranium deposits scattered all over the country. While it is not toxic or dangerous to humans (and many creatures), it does make many creatures nauseous or ill if consumed. The state will provide bottled and filtered water for those who cannot ingest TurtleShroomian fresh water.
PART SIX: APPLICATION QUESTIONNAIRE
We are honored to welcome your esteemed diplomats, and hope that your diplomatic presence in TurtleShroom will ease both your governmental and tourist issues.
Thank you for your observance of our rules and your participation in bring peace on the earth and Nationstates, and goodwill toward men.
-DEAN OF THE TURTLESHROOMIAN STATE DIPLOMATIC CORPS, IN REPRESENTATION OF THE MINISTRY OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS OF THE KINGDOM OF TURTLES, MUSHROOMS, AND MEN OF TURTLESHROOM(BY JUNTA DECREE)