"Commandante O'Donovan, may I say your national factbook is a magnificent pronunciamento, a veritable literary triumph of unmatched brilliance and a radiant font of enlightenment, joy, win and laffs. The people of Aezakmi are in awe; as Aezak Foreign Minister, I felt obliged to express my appreciation for this creation, but it would be an abomination to deface your work with my unworthy spasmodic keyboard flailing so I resolved to send a telegram instead. The Emperor himself has instructed me to 'thank you for the lulz'.
Signed,
Aezak Foreign Minister"
~ Aezakmi
"Just so you know, I did look at your factbook, and enjoyed the list of government positions and political parties. :)"
~ Zwangzug
"You have the best damn factbook I have ever seen."
~ Lyndiana
"I voted for the first option. I found it witty, painfully dry and funny! I see you are a Sex Pistols fan.... You just got to be!"
~ Sskiss
"Greatest factbook ever o:"
~ Unilisia
"Your factbook made me lol a thousand times. I had to log in for the first time in *ever to tell you that. :)"
~ Riaka
Humphrey Bogart says...
THE GOVERNMENT DISAPPROVES
Here's why:
It has come to our attention that the contents of this so-called guide are widely accepted as the one and only for real source of information on our most glorious nation. We wish to stress that this is not the case. For a more savoury instruction on the people, culture, history and brownies of South Asia Minor, please consult the government factbook, South Asia Minor: An Entire Country in Several Thousand Pages of Dry Academia.
Unfortunately, Parliament's internet connection is down and the factbook cannot be accessed on this particular series of tubes. However, it is widely available for the low, low price of $700.99 (+freight) at all good retailers and some bad ones, and unless you can't be bothered to get off your lazy ass and go buy it, we urge you not to humour this TRAVESTY of a guide with your attention, and to buy the real deal.
But never mind the bollocks, here's...
THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO SOUTH ASIA MINOR: REVISED EDITION NO. OVER 9000
By Dr. Jackie Lockheart, MD, and several others
I don't know how but it seems like this flag is racist,
The Jamahiriya of South Asia Minor and her Overseas Colonies in Papua New Guinea, North Korea and Upper Michigan
La República Democrática Socialista de South Asia Minor
Velká samjská lidová socialistická džamáhíríje
Daon-Phoblacht na South Asia Minor
South Asia Minora demokraattinen sosialistinen tasavalta
DER MEISTERSTAAT SÜDASIEN MINOR AAH VATERLAND
République démocratique socialiste du South Asia Minor
Jamhuri ya Kidemokrasia ya Kijamii ya South Asia Minor
Demokratia Socialisma Respubliko South Asia Minor
Den demokratiske sosialistiske republikken South Asia Minor
Cộng hòa Dân chủ Xã hội chủ nghĩa South Asia Minor
大多是无害的
National Anthem: I Love It[/align] ... hold on how do you mean it doesn't align? This forum's formatting used to be a lot simpler.
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About the Author
The Jamahiriya of South Asia Minor and her Overseas Colonies in Papua New Guinea, North Korea and Upper Michigan, or SAM to her friends, is a loose confederation of shiny happy people somewhere in southeast Asia.
Though not particularly well known, and considered a backwater by those who do know it, SAM has been around for quite some time. The unassuming, tolerant, friendly population welcome the few pilgrims, travellers, WA weapons inspectors and SS fire teams that venture through the dense surrounding jungles and highlands to visit the nation with open arms and hospitality.
The nation is extremely multicultural, with a large population that nobody has been bothered to keep count of. The national culture, a product of the ridiculous volume of immigrants, is an amalgamation of Arab, Czech, Irish, French, Spanish, Tibetan, Zulu, Bushido, Italian, Korean, Chinese, Igbo and Kris Kristoffersonesque cultures and traditions. SAM' demonym is Sami.
While SAM's lax laws are considered by outsiders to be potentially very dangerous and exploitable, the peaceful and friendly culture that has become so ingrained into the minds of the Sami people means that crime rates are extremely low (despite WA LIES to the contrary), and that most of the crimes committed are committed by novelists and tourists. However, despite the fact that many of them have never seen a microwave, and despite the fact that they're all a load of Communist sissies, every single adult citizen is, for some reason or another, heavily armed.
Throughout her history, SAM has been a colony of France, Britain, Portugal, Germany, Belgium, China, North Korea, Belgium again, Hungary, Venezuela, Iceland, the Sioux nation, Austria, Kenya, the United States, Saudi Arabia, South Asia Minor, Liverpool and Chad. She has been annexed by Hungary, China, North Korea, Vietnam, Belgium, the World Assembly, the Verve Pipe and Singapore.
Each time SAM has fallen to an empire, kingdom, minor African republic, washed up 90's rock band or post-industrial, impoverished city, her people have risen up and pushed the invaders out. This has resulted in almost every day of the year being some sort of independence day.