Paradox Games VI: Cuckolding Habsburgs since 1076 AD

[Kernan]

So my new(ish) Sweden game is taking the usual route. I have done quite well and was on the verge of forming the empire when Ragnar Lodbrok was assassinated, then his brother (that nobody liked and was an idiot) took over. I fought a few civil wars and seemingly stabilized the Empire. Then HE was assassinated sparking two more civil wars that I put down with the generous help of tribal armies since the new guy was caught and got kinslayer. Now, I am expecting him to be killed soon but idc, at least his heir is pretty good. I also am having the pleasure of always being just a hundred or so piety away from reforming the faith when I am killed so that is ya know...great. Well at least this is salvagable and I haven't lost anything important. Sweden lives on!

[Genivaria]

Terraforming.

[New Grestin]

Gotta love it when you go out of your way to knock the US out early in HOI4, then, despite Historical AI Focuses being on, they join the Allies mere seconds before capitulating.

It's even better when you're playing Communist Mexico and the only reason you even attacked America was to get rid of their independence guarantees on every goddamned South American country ever.

And you've only just now graduated to better Infantry equipment because your biggest goal was capitulating the US before they entered the war.

I like HOI4, but fuck me if it doesn't force me to mod out it's bullshit.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Skanderbeg notice me

I have almost fulfilled the dream.

"Hey Skanderbeg, you hear all that righteous fury and the screams of the heathen Turk on our borders?"

"Nah, probably just the wind or something."

The same Turk who has pissed off everyone around him and whose only allies are Portugal and a few german states, needless to say, it wont end well for them.

Skanderbeg notice me

I have almost fulfilled the dream.

Eww, Georgia.

Georgia is a noble ally against the turk.

Skanderbeg notice me

I have almost fulfilled the dream.

Damnit Huskar all you needed to do was have it be Skanderbae notice me.

Skanderbeg is eternal, skanderbae is a lie conjured by allies of the Turk.

[Ifreann]

"Hey Skanderbeg, you hear all that righteous fury and the screams of the heathen Turk on our borders?"

"Nah, probably just the wind or something."

The same Turk who has pissed off everyone around him and whose only allies are Portugal and a few german states, needless to say, it wont end well for them.

Eww, Georgia.

Georgia is a noble ally against the turk.

Georgia has the vile Hostile Core Creation Cost idea, which should never be allowed to spread.

[Lunas Legion]

Terraforming.

Am I the only person who immediately jumped to wanting to turn that planet into a planet-based Death Star?

[Ifreann]

Terraforming.

Am I the only person who immediately jumped to wanting to turn that planet into a planet-based Death Star?

That's no moon Mars!

[Herargon]

Am I the only person who immediately jumped to wanting to turn that planet into a planet-based Death Star?

That's no moon Mars!

Let's make Mars great again! We'll build a terraformed planet, and the Xeno bacteriae will pay for it!

[Bralia]

Like . . . man . . . bro . . . do you think we could ever have a physical relationship with God? Like . . . woah . . .

[Lunas Legion]

Like . . . man . . . bro . . . do you think we could ever have a physical relationship with God? Like . . . woah . . .

First game with this patch will be glorious caste-based multi-species empire.

[Bralia]

Like . . . man . . . bro . . . do you think we could ever have a physical relationship with God? Like . . . woah . . .

First game with this patch will be glorious caste-based multi-species empire.

Duuuuude . . . that's far out . . .

[Ifreann]

Inspired by Huskar's Hunglory(and a desire for more achievements) I started a Hungary game last night. The basic plan was to claim all Kebab clay, and then use my kebab-infused power to smash the hated von Habsburgs. Didn't work out so great. Turns out that Hungary is full of heretics and vampires, so I had to waste manpower on putting down rebels. After Janos my first Hunyadi king was a loose-lipped coward. When I got Poland to attack the Ottomans with me, they fecked off to fight Crimea and the Turks slapped me around like a red-headed step-child.

So, new plan. Humanist ideas. Love and tolerate the shit out of the damned Transylvanians and Orthodox heretics. Smash Austria first for God Tier Euro Clay. Embrace institutions like a boss. "Liberate" the Balkans.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Inspired by Huskar's Hunglory(and a desire for more achievements) I started a Hungary game last night. The basic plan was to claim all Kebab clay, and then use my kebab-infused power to smash the hated von Habsburgs. Didn't work out so great. Turns out that Hungary is full of heretics and vampires, so I had to waste manpower on putting down rebels. After Janos my first Hunyadi king was a loose-lipped coward. When I got Poland to attack the Ottomans with me, they fecked off to fight Crimea and the Turks slapped me around like a red-headed step-child.

So, new plan. Humanist ideas. Love and tolerate the shit out of the damned Transylvanians and Orthodox heretics. Smash Austria first for God Tier Euro Clay. Embrace institutions like a boss. "Liberate" the Balkans.

Yeah i found it best to try and promote the largest culture groups you have pretty quickly, it saves a lot of trouble down the road.

I currently have Serbian, Bulgarian, Croatian and Turkish as promoted cultures so i dont have to deal with ethnic revolts from them. And Crimea can be an issue, ive often seen my allies go up there to fight instead down around greece etc. And the Turks early on have some big benefits i think to their forces and they can pack quite a hit early on, i had to surrender in some wars to them because of it.

But once you beat them a couple of times it can get easier, pounce on them when they get into wars with other people as well so they have to fight on multiple fronts, and when you have the navy to do so, block the Bosporus. Take over Serbia and Bosnia too, i did.

[Ifreann]

Like . . . man . . . bro . . . do you think we could ever have a physical relationship with God? Like . . . woah . . .

The Romans placated the people with panem et circenses, bread and circuses. We will placate our people with dank space weed and hyper-HD vidya.

[Ifreann]

Inspired by Huskar's Hunglory(and a desire for more achievements) I started a Hungary game last night. The basic plan was to claim all Kebab clay, and then use my kebab-infused power to smash the hated von Habsburgs. Didn't work out so great. Turns out that Hungary is full of heretics and vampires, so I had to waste manpower on putting down rebels. After Janos my first Hunyadi king was a loose-lipped coward. When I got Poland to attack the Ottomans with me, they fecked off to fight Crimea and the Turks slapped me around like a red-headed step-child.

So, new plan. Humanist ideas. Love and tolerate the shit out of the damned Transylvanians and Orthodox heretics. Smash Austria first for God Tier Euro Clay. Embrace institutions like a boss. "Liberate" the Balkans.

Yeah i found it best to try and promote the largest culture groups you have pretty quickly, it saves a lot of trouble down the road.

I currently have Serbian, Bulgarian, Croatian and Turkish as promoted cultures so i dont have to deal with ethnic revolts from them. And Crimea can be an issue, ive often seen my allies go up there to fight instead down around greece etc. And the Turks early on have some big benefits i think to their forces and they can pack quite a hit early on, i had to surrender in some wars to them because of it.

But once you beat them a couple of times it can get easier, pounce on them when they get into wars with other people as well so they have to fight on multiple fronts, and when you have the navy to do so, block the Bosporus. Take over Serbia and Bosnia too, i did.

I think it might have been my low legitimacy provoking them more than anything else.

Hmm, maybe it would be a good idea to attack the Ottomans early before they get that Crimean Succession event. Make them release Bulgaria for some buffer zone. *strokes beard*

[The Huskar Social Union]

3 years till the truce is over and im stacking up all of my papal influence points, and then Ottomans... its crusade time.

[Imperial Idaho]

Like . . . man . . . bro . . . do you think we could ever have a physical relationship with God? Like . . . woah . . .

The Romans placated the people with panem et circenses, bread and circuses. We will placate our people with dank space weed and hyper-HD vidya.

I can't just not put that in my sig.

[Ifreann]

3 years till the truce is over and im stacking up all of my papal influence points, and then Ottomans... its crusade time.

crusadermeme1.jpg

[Bralia]

"Basically, no amount is anime is going to distract people from ongoing mass extermination." - Martin Anward, aka "Wiz", 2017

I swear, even though I don't really play Stellaris at all, it has the best development out of all the other games. It's officially topped CK2 in terms of great out-of-context sayings that would make you look rabidly insane if ever talked about them publicly.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Empire of Hungary, 1621
Religious Map
Cultural Map

[Ifreann]

"Basically, no amount is anime is going to distract people from ongoing mass extermination." - Martin Anward, aka "Wiz", 2017

I swear, even though I don't really play Stellaris at all, it has the best development out of all the other games. It's officially topped CK2 in terms of great out-of-context sayings that would make you look rabidly insane if ever talked about them publicly.

Anime will distract from their alien wing-wongs ceasing to function, though. Because who needs sex when you have anime?

---

Empire of Hungary, 1621
Religious Map
Cultural Map

Hunglorious.

[The Huskar Social Union]

"Basically, no amount is anime is going to distract people from ongoing mass extermination." - Martin Anward, aka "Wiz", 2017

I swear, even though I don't really play Stellaris at all, it has the best development out of all the other games. It's officially topped CK2 in terms of great out-of-context sayings that would make you look rabidly insane if ever talked about them publicly.

Anime will distract from their alien wing-wongs ceasing to function, though. Because who needs sex when you have anime?

---

Empire of Hungary, 1621
Religious Map
Cultural Map

Hunglorious.

I plan to take over the remaining Ottoman and Iraqi territory, all of Arabia, Egypt and to push down into East Africa just past the horn of Africa so that Somalia, Sudan, Ethiopia etc would all be under my control.

Then ill break off my alliance with Georgia and prepare to take the southern Caucasus from them, then i might advance into Persia and take it directly, or just bypass it and go into India.

[Igoria]

Empire of Hungary, 1621
Religious Map
Cultural Map

The Hungary is cool and all, but I'm far more interested in the Georgian blob off to the right.

[The Huskar Social Union]

Empire of Hungary, 1621
Religious Map
Cultural Map

The Hungary is cool and all, but I'm far more interested in the Georgian blob off to the right.

Yeah, Georgia has been able to go off on its own little conquest adventure into central asia, i think largely because of their alliance with me, so if the ottomans fuck with them ive got their back, and their biggest threat (Ottomans) is nearly dead at this stage.

Ill go back on and take some screenshots of the various parts of the world i know about and of some interesting nations.

[Great Nepal]

"Basically, no amount is anime is going to distract people from ongoing mass extermination." - Martin Anward, aka "Wiz", 2017

I swear, even though I don't really play Stellaris at all, it has the best development out of all the other games. It's officially topped CK2 in terms of great out-of-context sayings that would make you look rabidly insane if ever talked about them publicly.

Anime will distract from their alien wing-wongs ceasing to function, though. Because who needs sex when you have anime?

Whats says future VR doesn't include sufficient haptic feedback to allow merging of both functions; perhaps the aliens are always having sex just not with eachother thus voluntarily going extinct.