[Accepted]Concussive Percussion

[Drasnia]

Title: Concussive Percussion

Validity: Not valid if music has been banned

Description: A man died of a heart attack at a performance by the @@CAPITAL@@ Philharmonic Orchestra last Thursday. Several art critics have attributed the death to the surprise of cannon fire used in the song “2012 Overture” which the Orchestra was playing at the time.

The Debate

[option]Famed music critic @@RANDOMNAME@@ lights a cigarette. “This overture is horribly trite and saccharine and its use of cannons only romanticizes the thought of war. We are a far more cultured people and should not condone music that glorifies the killing of people. We must not allow military weaponry to be used by any musician in our borders.”
[effect]drum mallets have been designated weapons and consequently banned

[option]”If anything, we should be encouraging the use of alternative percussion in music.” @@RANDOMNAME@@, renowned composer, says while putting a fuse in a stick of nitroglycerin. “There is nothing that entertains an audience like explosions and gunfire, even if it might be dangerous to their health.”
[effect]dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming

[option]”Bah! These musicians are useless currently.” argues your Minister of Defense. “Now, if we conscripted these people to play our national anthem on the front on the battlefield, we could inspire our troops to fight even more courageously. Also, their cannons can be used to strike fear in our enemies’ ranks!”
[effect]being a musician is a death sentence.

Critiques are welcome as always.

[Raionitu]

[effect]drum mallets have been designated weapons and consequently banned

putting a fuse in a stick of nitroglycerin.

Hello, thought Id throw in my 2 cents on these two bits.
As a percussionist of 8 years, I have never heard someone just say 'drum mallets' There's BASS drum mallets, timpani mallets, regular mallets, drumsticks, but never heard drum mallet (might be a regional thing though, idk). If you can figure out how to work it in though, we like to pretend to use cymbals as those circular blade things (Chakrams i believe)

Pretty sure nitroglycerin is generally in a liquid form. You could have him mixing binary explosives though (which is like, two different substances that are only volatile when mixed, i believe both are power-like, though you might want to fact check that)

[Trotterdam]

As a percussionist of 8 years, I have never heard someone just say 'drum mallets' There's BASS drum mallets, timpani mallets, regular mallets, drumsticks, but never heard drum mallet (might be a regional thing though, idk).

I would wager that this is because you're a percussionist. If you're actually working with the things, it's important to specify which kind you need, since you're the expert who knows what the difference is. Or when you don't care about the finer differences, there's no need to specify "drum mallets" either - what other kind of mallet are you going to use at an orchestra?

If you're banning them, there's no need to specify a particular type of drum the mallets are for, because they're all equally banned, but distinguishing between drum mallets and those large wooden mallets used in construction (which I think is what most non-musicians would think of when hearing "mallet") is relevant.

If you can figure out how to work it in though, we like to pretend to use cymbals as those circular blade things (Chakrams i believe)

Chakrams are thrown, like deadly-sharp frisbees. Do you actually do that with cymbals? And get away with it?

(Actually my first thought on "circular blade things" was buzzsaws.)

Pretty sure nitroglycerin is generally in a liquid form.

I looked it up. It has a melting point of 14 degrees Celcius, which means it should be reasonably available in either solid or liquid form at common temperatures. Apparently, it's harder to detonate as a solid, but the process of thawing it from a solid to a liquid has a high risk exploding, which means that it's safer in practice to keep it permanently liquid until you use it. Certain additives can lower its melting point to make this easier.

Given the description of it being in a "stick", it brings to mind dynamite. From what I understand of the article I'm looking at, it seems that dynamite still uses nitroglycerin in liquid form, but "soaked" into a solid substance to help stabilize it.

In any case, it's possible for a liquid to be in a stick (think "test tube").

[Drasnia]

[effect]drum mallets have been designated weapons and consequently banned

putting a fuse in a stick of nitroglycerin.

Hello, thought Id throw in my 2 cents on these two bits.
As a percussionist of 8 years, I have never heard someone just say 'drum mallets' There's BASS drum mallets, timpani mallets, regular mallets, drumsticks, but never heard drum mallet (might be a regional thing though, idk). If you can figure out how to work it in though, we like to pretend to use cymbals as those circular blade things (Chakrams i believe)

Pretty sure nitroglycerin is generally in a liquid form. You could have him mixing binary explosives though (which is like, two different substances that are only volatile when mixed, i believe both are power-like, though you might want to fact check that)

Trott pretty much nailed it on the head, but I'll expand just a bit more. I've seen "drum mallets" used all the time, including in music retailer magazines such as Musician's Friend. For the sake of brevity as well as to avoid any possible conclusion, I used a generic "drum mallets."

As for chakrams, that would be interesting, but was not what I was going for in this draft. I wanted to address specifically alternative forms of musical instruments, such as cannons used in 1812 Overture (renamed 2012 Overture in the draft.) When I was in HS, my band instructor once told us about when he was in an orchestra that played the song, but they couldn't get cannons to fire, so instead they had one person beat a metal garbage can at the same time another person shot a shotgun blank. He then told us a story, probably apocryphal, of a man that died of a heart attack in a performance of 1812 Overture a very long ago.

As for the nitroglycerin/dynamite thing, I didn't want to repeat dynamite in the issue, and it works much better in the effect line than the issue text, IMO, so I used nitroglycerin for the text. I would not be opposed to changing it to something that doesn't require jumping through so many logical hoops, however, maybe something like ". . . while putting a blasting cap in a cube of plastic explosives" or something along those lines. (Though, keeping the tech level down a bit with dynamite instead of plastic explosives would make the issue make a bit more sense for low scientifically advanced nations.)

[Drasnia]

Second page bump.

[Australian rePublic]

If they always use canons, then why did they die this time? Aren't they used to it?

[Drasnia]

If they always use canons, then why did they die this time? Aren't they used to it?

A man in the audience died because he was not aware of the cannons. Perhaps I should specify that.

I also realize now that my last option (sending the musicians into the military) is already covered by Maestro Please. Should I change it to some other crazy option, or is duplicating that still okay?

[Trotterdam]

If they always use canons, then why did they die this time? Aren't they used to it?

It was just the one guy in the audience who was startled by it.

Which doesn't seem like it would be a very common occurence. I mean, anything could lead to an occasional freak accident.

I also realize now that my last option (sending the musicians into the military) is already covered by Maestro Please. Should I change it to some other crazy option, or is duplicating that still okay?

That depends on whether we want to make this a running gag. If an issue for responding to having musicians in the military is added to the game (one is currently in a draft, but it isn't very good), then it's good to have multiple issues that can trigger it.

[Drasnia]

This issue has been submitted.

[Australian rePublic]

Good luck!

[Drasnia]

This issue has been accepted.

[Australian rePublic]

Yeay!

[The Atlae Isles]

Congratulations!

Now, if only I had that luck.

[Drasnia]

Congratulations!

Now, if only I had that luck.

It ain't luck It's just a matter of time and patience.

[Australian rePublic]

Congrats man!

Congratulations!

Now, if only I had that luck.

It ain't luck It's just a matter of time and patience.

Pretty much!

[Candlewhisper Archive]

Though I guess the dartboard and blindfold we use to pick issues for editing COULD be described as luck.

[Australian rePublic]

Congrats!