by Quadrimmina » Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:47 pm
by Embolalia » Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:58 pm
/ˌɛmboʊˈlɑːliːʌ/ | My mostly worthless blog Economic Left/Right: -5.88 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.51 Liberal atheist bisexual, and proud of it.
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by Quadrimmina » Mon Aug 09, 2010 4:12 pm
by Ardchoille » Mon Aug 09, 2010 5:41 pm
by Quadrimmina » Mon Aug 09, 2010 7:11 pm
Ardchoille wrote:You're not writing for a captive audience: some delegates never go near the forums where Sionis Prioratus is active. No need to go into every last detail -- you can do that in your first post -- but you need at least to say what service he provided, why it's significant, and so on.
Try the old newspaper mantra of 5Ws + H: Who, What, Where, When, Why and How.
by Unibot » Mon Aug 09, 2010 7:16 pm
THE PEOPLES OF THE WORLD ASSEMBLED,
NOTING that the delegation of Sionis Prioratus worked tirelessly to pass resolutions in our hallowed halls to establish an inalienable access to pharmaceuticals for the benefit of sapientkind (GA#41) in addition to quality health services (GA#97) which no doubt improved the international quality of life by combating disease and illness all across the impoverished world,
FURTHER NOTING that the delegation of Sionis Prioratus also succeeded in resolving a lack of education in the most impoverished member-nations with a basic education program (GA#80) and the advancement of scientific education (GA#48),
REMEMBERING the international contributor of these ambitious projects as a courageous and venerable national federalist that was not afraid of providing assistance to those who needed it when those who claimed sovereignty over them did nothing to prevent their suffering,
ENDEAVORING not to commemorate Sionis Prioratus's international accomplishments as 'supererogatory' but instead to commemorate Sionis Prioratus for showing us how we can all make the world a better place if we make the effort to do so,
BUT NEVERTHELESS ACUTELY AWARE that this commendation is not only a means to communicate the warm gratitude from all those who have benefited from the social work of the Sionis Prioratus delegation, but that it also immortalizes a fearless and amiable spirit in our hallowed halls forever if the betterment of the world that they've ensured was not enough to indefinitely enrich the lives of the neglected,
CELEBRATING the enormous service that Sionis Prioratus provided to the world as a member nation of the World Assembly by authoring numerous resolutions that sought to provide social justice and a healthier, more educated and free world,
HEREBY COMMENDS Sionis Prioratus.
Vocenae wrote:Unibot, you have won NS.
by Sanctaria » Mon Aug 09, 2010 7:34 pm
Quadrimmina wrote:We request further delegate support before we send this. We are not sure of the protocols of the Security Council, but this is the forefront of our national agenda and we will not rest until it is done.
by Quelesh » Tue Aug 10, 2010 12:30 am
by Glen-Rhodes » Tue Aug 10, 2010 7:57 am
Unibot wrote:Cookies to anyone who can figure out why I specifically shuffled the clauses around to end the preamble with the "CELEBRATING" preambalatory verb.
by Ballotonia » Tue Aug 10, 2010 8:24 am
Unibot wrote:NOTING that the delegation of Sionis Prioratus worked tirelessly to pass resolutions in our hallowed halls to establish an inalienable access to pharmaceuticals for the benefit of sapientkind (GA#41) in addition to quality health services (GA#97) which no doubt improved the international quality of life by combating disease and illness all across the impoverished world,
FURTHER NOTING that the delegation of Sionis Prioratus also succeeded in resolving a lack of education in the most impoverished member-nations with a basic education program (GA#80) and the advancement of scientific education (GA#48),
Unibot wrote:REMEMBERING the international contributor of these ambitious projects as a courageous and venerable national federalist that was not afraid of providing assistance to those who needed it when those who claimed sovereignty over them did nothing to prevent their suffering,
Unibot wrote:ENDEAVORING not to commemorate Sionis Prioratus's international accomplishments as 'supererogatory' but instead to commemorate Sionis Prioratus for showing us how we can all make the world a better place if we make the effort to do so,
Unibot wrote:BUT NEVERTHELESS ACUTELY AWARE that this commendation is not only a means to communicate the warm gratitude from all those who have benefited from the social work of the Sionis Prioratus delegation, but that it also immortalizes a fearless and amiable spirit in our hallowed halls forever if the betterment of the world that they've ensured was not enough to indefinitely enrich the lives of the neglected,
Unibot wrote:CELEBRATING the enormous service that Sionis Prioratus provided to the world as a member nation of the World Assembly by authoring numerous resolutions that sought to provide social justice and a healthier, more educated and free world,
by Glen-Rhodes » Tue Aug 10, 2010 1:25 pm
Ballotonia wrote:Much more briefly stated: "authored four passed GA resolutions." By mentioning the topics you position the object of the commendation as leftist (healthcare and education), which might cost you the right-wing audience.
by Omigodtheykilledkenny » Tue Aug 10, 2010 2:48 pm
by Unibot » Tue Aug 10, 2010 4:25 pm
Glen-Rhodes wrote:Unibot wrote:Cookies to anyone who can figure out why I specifically shuffled the clauses around to end the preamble with the "CELEBRATING" preambalatory verb.
Because Right to a Lawful Divorce started its preamble that way?
P.S. I demand mention as the #1 source of his inspiration in debates.
P.S.S. It's 'international federalist', not 'national federalist'.
Ballotonia wrote:Unibot wrote:NOTING that the delegation of Sionis Prioratus worked tirelessly to pass resolutions in our hallowed halls to establish an inalienable access to pharmaceuticals for the benefit of sapientkind (GA#41) in addition to quality health services (GA#97) which no doubt improved the international quality of life by combating disease and illness all across the impoverished world,
FURTHER NOTING that the delegation of Sionis Prioratus also succeeded in resolving a lack of education in the most impoverished member-nations with a basic education program (GA#80) and the advancement of scientific education (GA#48),
Much more briefly stated: "authored four passed GA resolutions." By mentioning the topics you position the object of the commendation as leftist (healthcare and education), which might cost you the right-wing audience.
Unibot wrote:REMEMBERING the international contributor of these ambitious projects as a courageous and venerable national federalist that was not afraid of providing assistance to those who needed it when those who claimed sovereignty over them did nothing to prevent their suffering,
Uhm, ok? But what did Sionis Prioratus DO? How about something like "Sionis Prioratus provides assistance to other nations in ..." ? And then you can make clear what kind of assistance we're talking about. Encouraging words? An RP'd fleet of goods being shipped? Personal assistance in writing resolutions authored by others? The verbiage above doesn't make sense to me... something about sovereignty and suffering, so I tend to think it's some sort of RP-like assistance (and did that assistance go beyond typing "I'm hereby providing you assistance" ? Part of your audience knows nothing about RP, and I'm one of them...)
Unibot wrote:ENDEAVORING not to commemorate Sionis Prioratus's international accomplishments as 'supererogatory' but instead to commemorate Sionis Prioratus for showing us how we can all make the world a better place if we make the effort to do so,
I had to look up what 'supererogatory' means (part of your audience won't bother...) It sounds like a good thing, and you make a point of it to say that's NOT what Sionis Prioratus does. How about not mentioning that then?
As for the showing how to make the world a better place... Did Sionis Prioratus provide directions? Was it by exemplary behavior, if so which behavior are we talking about that is deemed worthy of a commendation? Please be more specific...
Unibot wrote:BUT NEVERTHELESS ACUTELY AWARE that this commendation is not only a means to communicate the warm gratitude from all those who have benefited from the social work of the Sionis Prioratus delegation, but that it also immortalizes a fearless and amiable spirit in our hallowed halls forever if the betterment of the world that they've ensured was not enough to indefinitely enrich the lives of the neglected,
Great prose, but I had to reread it several times to finally grasp what the "was not enough" clause means. One could rewrite this entire run-on sentence by using a structure like "if ... was not enough... then ..." This not only switches the order of the sentence, but by trying to phrase it in a logical manner it exposes its current lack of logic. This paragraph, I'm sorry to say, makes no logical sense. Note that while it all sounds nice and dandy, by not being clear you risk alienating the non-native English speakers in the audience who would like to comprehend what they're voting on.
BUT NEVERTHELESS ACUTELY AWARE that if the betterment of the world that they've ensured was not enough to indefinitely enrich the lives of the neglected, this commendation immortalizes a fearless and amiable spirit in our hallowed halls forever via the inspiration it will ensue to the next generation of General Assembly authors,
Unibot wrote:CELEBRATING the enormous service that Sionis Prioratus provided to the world as a member nation of the World Assembly by authoring numerous resolutions that sought to provide social justice and a healthier, more educated and free world,
That's a repeat of the first two paragraphs.
CELEBRATING the enormous service that Sionis Prioratus provided to the world as a means to communicate the warm gratitude from all those who have benefited from the social work of the Sionis Prioratus delegation,
Vocenae wrote:Unibot, you have won NS.
by Unibot » Tue Aug 10, 2010 4:41 pm
Omigodtheykilledkenny wrote:Eh. The Eternal Kawaii's version was funnier.
Vocenae wrote:Unibot, you have won NS.
by Unibot » Tue Aug 10, 2010 6:40 pm
THE PEOPLES OF THE WORLD ASSEMBLED,
NOTING that the delegation of Sionis Prioratus worked tirelessly to pass resolutions in our hallowed halls to establish an inalienable access to pharmaceuticals for the benefit of sapientkind (GA#41) in addition to quality health services (GA#97) which no doubt improved the international quality of life by combating disease and illness all across the impoverished world,
FURTHER NOTING that the delegation of Sionis Prioratus also succeeded in resolving a lack of education in the most impoverished member-nations with a basic education program (GA#80) and the advancement of scientific education (GA#48),
REMEMBERING the international contributor of these ambitious projects as a courageous and venerable international federalist that was not afraid of providing assistance to those who needed it when those who claimed sovereignty over them did nothing to prevent their suffering,
ENDEAVORING not to commemorate Sionis Prioratus's international accomplishments as 'supererogatory' but instead to commemorate Sionis Prioratus for showing us how we can all make the world a better place if we make the effort to do so,
BUT NEVERTHELESS ACUTELY AWARE that if the betterment of the world that the delegation has ensured was not enough to indefinitely enrich the lives of the neglected, this commendation immortalizes a fearless and amiable spirit in our hallowed halls forever via the inspiration it will ensue to the next generation of General Assembly authors,
CELEBRATING the enormous service that Sionis Prioratus provided to the world as a means to communicate the warm gratitude from all those who have benefited from the social work of the Sionis Prioratus delegation,
HEREBY COMMENDS Sionis Prioratus.
Co-authored by Unibot
Vocenae wrote:Unibot, you have won NS.
by Ardchoille » Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:02 am
by Kosmanium » Wed Aug 11, 2010 3:58 am
Quelesh wrote:SP deserves it 100%. It's very fitting too. I'm behind it completely.
Dumb Ideologies wrote:Imagine a bunch of old homophobic, racist rich white guys escaping from the old folks home [...] turning up at a club, putting their hips out on the dancefloor and hitting on all the most attractive women as if they belong amongst the trendy, young and radical.
That's what Libertarian means to me.
Neo Art wrote:Listen, strange women from Russia writin' books about a moral philosophy unworkable without having to invent a perpetual motion machine is no basis for a system of government!
by Ainocra » Wed Aug 11, 2010 4:26 am
by Dottiestan » Thu Aug 12, 2010 1:26 pm
by Quadrimmina » Thu Aug 12, 2010 1:34 pm
Dottiestan wrote:Doesn't the Security Council have better things to do?
Does this REALLY belong in the Security Council?
by Unibot » Thu Aug 12, 2010 3:19 pm
Vocenae wrote:Unibot, you have won NS.
by Dottiestan » Thu Aug 12, 2010 4:36 pm
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