The Lazarene Gazette - Issue IV May 2016

[Lazarene Gazette II]

The Official Newspaper of Lazarus

---

Current Issue: Issue IV May 2016

Past Issues:

• Issue I August 2015
• Issue II September 2015
• Issue III October 2015
• Issue IV January 2016
• Issue V February 2016
• Issue IV May 2016

Rules of Discussion:

• Keep reasonably on-topic to an article or issue
  i.e. if the article is about cats, you can talk about other pets,
  but not the mechanics of an internal combustion engine (unless the said cat uses it for warmth).
• Discussion is welcome, but don't fill the thread with random stuff that gets this thread locked.
• Criticize at will, as most of the people at the Lazarene Gazette have thick-skin, but realize that everyone makes mistakes (except Chuck Norris).
• If you want a correction made to the Lazarene Gazette, you can ask in the thread.
• If you would like to have some input on the next issue, do so on our forum.

[Lazarene Gazette II]

The Official Newspaper of Lazarus

Issue IV • January 2016 • 1 Page • Inter-Regional Edition

---

EDITORIAL: Editor's Note
By Lake Flotillas

This issue was probably the last thing you would expect to see when you opened your browser. Yes, we've been an inactive bunch much of the time. In fact, we were about to vote on whether to rename this newspaper "The NR Gazette", after our previous main editor, New Rogernomics, who was for most of the time the only one contributing to the paper.

But he won't have to do it alone anymore. We've finally sat down and decided to release an issue, and you can expect more to come your way in the months ahead. No longer will you have to wait months for an issue to come out. No longer will you be wondering why our last issue was released in October. No longer will you ever forget that we still have a Gazette. The Lazarene Gazette is back in business!

---

NEWS: New Government Elected!
By Lake Flotillas

Loftegen getting an assistant to demonstrate how to sit on the Comfy Chair™ at his rally

Lazarus headed to the polls on the 22nd through 29th of December, choosing the people who would form the third government of the Humane Republic. This election saw more candidates running for the positions of Sovereign(Delegate), Grandee Secretary(Vice-Delegate) and Director of Ceremonies(Speaker of the Grand Assembly), with the following candidates:

• Sovereign: Loftegen(who also ran in the previous elections), Cormac, Starberry, Doperland(newcomer)
• Grandee Secretary: The Church of Satan, Caldariat(newcomer)
• Director of Ceremonies: Constie, Lake Flotillas

This election season saw a wide variety of campaigns from the candidates for the position of Sovereign, from the promise of activity from Starberry to the threat of oppression from Loftegen and Doperland, the candidates fought to gain the support of the voters. Loftegen's Comfy Chair™, in particular, proved to be a great hit among Lazarenes.

Ultimately, Loftegen, The Church of Satan, and Lake Flotillas were elected to the position of Sovereign, Grandee Secretary, and Director of Ceremonies respectively. The breakdown of votes are as follows:

Sovereign
Loftegen: 13
Doperland: 1
Starberry: 4
Cormac: 3
Abstain/Invalid: 2

Grandee Secretary
The Church of Satan: 15
Caldariat: 6
Abstain/Invalid: 2

Director of Ceremonies
Constie: 2
Lake Flotillas: 14
Abstain/Invalid: 7

Congratulations to the winners of the election, and thanks to all those who ran!

---

FEATURE: Loftegen's Inauguration Speech
By Loftegen

The first speech by our new Sovereign

I'd like to thank the people of Lazarus for entrusting the Sovereignty to me.
I'd like to thank New Rogernomics for a smooth transition.
I'd especially like to thank Harmoneia for serving as Interim Sovereign yet again.
I'd like to thank Funkadelia for persuading me to return to Lazarus after Kazmr took the delegacy from Stujenske.

I won't promise a glorious future for Lazarus. I won't promise that I'll do a good job. It may yet come to pass that my term is a complete disaster, and that I end up the worst delegate in the history of the region. Time will tell.
Fortunately for me, Stujenske set a pretty low bar, so i think we'll be all right.

That's it, thank you.

---

FEATURE: The Comfy Chair™
By Lake Flotillas

One of the models rumoured to be the Comfy Chair™. Secret lever and vertical shaft leading to incinerator not shown.

The December elections had been an interesting period, with many interesting ideas brought up by the various candidates. Nevertheless, one of these ideas took Lazarus by storm, spawning a new meme within the halls of the otherwise silent Grand Assembly. This Chair™ has captured the imagination of countless Lazarenes, who now threaten one another with the Chair™.

So, what is the Chair™? The Gazette went around asking and got the following responses:

• It has a secret lever that when pushed, drops one down the secret vertical shaft into the incinerator. Handy for disposing political enemies and dissidents!
• It can blast an infinite loop of Kanye West's music. Sounds horrible.
• Has Cushions, though this is suspected to be a reference to something more sinister. Or maybe it's just cushions.
• Isn't an electric chair, though the alternatives aren't much better either.
• It can be eaten - as proved by New Rogernomics. Unfortunately, Loftegen owns a warehouse full of these chairs, so it would take a long while to eliminate all Chairs.

These responses do seem to confirm that Loftegen's Chair™ is indeed used for torture, as he promised. Now we just had to look around further and determine how the chair looks like. Could it be red? Green? Or just black? Even after travelling around Lazarus to seek answers, we still didn't receive any hints regarding its appearance.

Desperate, we decided to do some sleuthing on our own, and came up with this gem:

Following new legislation in Loftegen, Black ram is one of the most popular forenames in Loftegen.

It would fit in with our suspicions, given that black is indeed the colour associated with oppression. Another reason to believe that oppression is real.

When then did he get so many chairs? An informant turned up with the following transcript:

Loftegen: "Less than you'd think, since I get them wholesale; also, since I saved all my receipts, I'll write them off on my taxes as an unreimbursed business expense!"
Unknown person: "So... you steal them?"
Loftegen: "No, I'm not a socialist."

Finally, the most important question to ask: Is it even effective? After all, what is oppression if no one fears it? One would have guessed that it was terribly effective, with the infamy it has attained over the December elections. However, Lazarenes say otherwise. Having believed that the Chair was as terrifying as he claimed, Loftegen decided to put up a poll to determine how successful he had been. Lazarenes gave this response:

Augh! Too much! Please stop! - 2(3.39%)
It's not unendurable yet. - 2(3.39%)
Just the right amount of pain and misery. - 1(1.69%)
I've had worse. - 7(11.86%)
We've been oppressed? I hadn't noticed. - 40(67.80%)

Clearly, the will of the people triumphs all forms of oppression the Autocrat can throw at us! We've turned his greatest weapon - the Comfy Chair™ - into a mockery, a meme that spreads among the Lazarenes. The Chair™ will no longer terrify us! Or maybe it's just a really comfy chair.

---

NEWS: Surge in Activity in Lazarus
By Lake Flotillas

Getting a new regional map wasn't as easy as we hoped...

Even though our activity levels were no longer as high as the first few months of the Humane Republic, we've still experienced a surge in activity this month, as evidenced by the increasing number of members joining our forums. Quite a number of tasks accomplished recently were those that were left behind by the previous administrations. In short, this is what we have done:

• Confirmed Funkadelia and Constie as Justices, with 11-1 in favour of Funkadelia, 2 abstaining, and 7-4 in favour of Constie, 3 abstaining. Considering that the "Gang of Five" trial - over the principle members of the New Lazarene Order - had stalled for quite a while, the introduction of two new Justices should hopefully bring this trial to a speedy conclusion, one that has dragged on far too long.
  
• Caldariat and Constie became the new Deputies to the Director.
  
• Set up more in-game dispatches. All laws, treaties, and Mandate 9 are now available in-game for Lazarenes to view. Also, a notice board(Citizen's Square) dispatch has also been created, for Lazarenes to put up notices. The latter should help Lazarenes better know how they can take part in the region.
  
• Created a regional map. Our previous cartographer, St. Oz, had left the region in August and no longer updates the map. With the new map, we hope to get more Lazarenes interested in RPing.
  
• Drafted an updated version of the Unified Legal Code(ULC), with the Criminal and Civil Codes now added. Previously, the ULC only contained the Judicial Code, meaning that we still had to rely on the PRL Penal Code.
  
• The LLA has logged 16 missions this month, with our Commandant, Izon, participating in most of them. Well done Izon!

---

RUMOURS AROUND LAZARUS

This is a new section that we've added to the Gazette. NOTE: All these are satire.

Prominent Dissident Missing; Sovereign Alleged to be Involved
By Lake Flotillas

Communist Stephen Colbert, a prominent dissident in Lazarus, has not been seen for a few days. He was well-known (or notorious, depending on how you look at it) for sitting at the Emerald Square for hours on end, with a bust of Milograd in one hand - which he claims was from the statue of Milograd that used to be in the Square - and a small fish tank with two fishes in the other. One could always find him sitting where Milograd's statue used to stand, extolling the deeds of 'Glorious Chairman Milograd' and urging Lazarenes to return to the People's Republic. But it was not the case recently.

Rumour has it that when he visited Loftegen some time ago to praise him for exercising the "Will of the Glorious Chairman Milograd", Loftegen smashed the bust on the floor. He then responded by branding Loftegen as a crony of the NPO, a move that was said to have sealed his fate, as Loftegen sent him to the Comfy Chair immediately. Whether he leaves the Comfy Chair remains to be seen.

LLA Rations Missing; Commandant Involved
By Lake Flotillas

A routine check on the LLA's rations in the Army Warehouse yielded a surprise: Someone has been stealing food from the Warehouse. All eyes turned to Kazmr, Deadeye Jack, and Izon; the only 3 people who had access to the Warehouse as Commandants of the LLA. Kazmr was quickly ruled out, after it was revealed that he hadn't been anywhere near LLA infrastructure for quite a while.

Further investigations then revealed Izon to be responsible for the disappearance of the rations. Yes, the fastest rising star of the LLA, who currently tops the LLA leaderboard with the most number of missions, was behind this disappearance. Rumour has it that he confiscated the rations in response to the Army Guards' failure to nominate Izon for the Gameplay R/D Awards 2015, to which Izon became extremely upset and decided to punish the LLA. It is believed that the now-daily 100km-runs at 3am ordered by Izon was one of these punishments. Whether Izon will inflict more punishments on the Guards remain to be seen.

DoC Locks Himself out of Office; Spotted Sulking at Emerald Square
By Lake Flotillas

The Director of Ceremonies, Lake Flotillas, had been extremely active ever since he assumed office. However, just as he was heading to the Gazette's newsroom to review the numerous drafts a few days ago, he did something incredibly dumb: Locking himself out of his office by leaving his keycard in his office. As the door was set to automatically lock when it is closed, it meant that he could not get back in. Frustrated, he decided to head to the Ministry of Forum Affairs building to request a copy of the keycard. However, to his disappointment (and the citizens' glee), the building happened to be closed for the day.

He was then seen pacing around Emerald Square sulking. Rumour has it that he left his security vault in the room unlocked, and was afraid that someone who was better than him at breaking into the room (almost everybody else) would lay their hands on the secrets in the vault. A shifty character by the name of Rivercastle was believed to have done exactly that.

It was said that when the door was finally unlocked the next day, he requested the door be removed at once. However, the workers misinterpreted his request and instead jammed the door handle inside the office. Whether Lake Flotillas manages to get out of the office remains to be seen.

---

[Numero Capitan]

Welcome back!

[Benevolent Thomas]

Other than Lake Flotillas authoring every article, I enjoyed this immensely. Its good to see the Humane Republic going strong, although I think the time will come to destabilize the region with a new theme after this term

[Lazarene Gazette II]

Other than Lake Flotillas authoring every article, I enjoyed this immensely. Its good to see the Humane Republic going strong, although I think the time will come to destabilize the region with a new theme after this term

Well then, it shouldn't be hard to guess my identity then. Hopefully we do see more people contributing articles in next issue

[Lazarene Gazette II]

The Official Newspaper of Lazarus

Issue V • February 2016 • 1 Page • Inter-Regional Edition

---

NEWS: Phoenix Lands in Scandinavia, at Long Last
By Lake Flotillas

The Lazarene delegation on their way to Balder

Rejoice ye all, as the Phoenix has finally arrived in the Nordic lands! That's right, the last of the Sinker-Sinker embassies have been opened after 2 long years(officially). In a relatively low-key affair that took place early this month, Lazarus and Balder have restored their embassies with each other.

This process of reopening embassies was initiated late last month, when Kajan, the then and current Foreign Minister of Balder, decided to pop by Lazarus. Though Kajan's request for forum embassies was not initially accepted, it got some of the governmental officials in the Tiki Hut(our regional bar) thinking, "Why not?" Lake then got out of his drunken stupor and decided to head over to Balder to return the gesture. Over the process of the following week, forum embassies were set up, first in Balder, then in Lazarus. Establishing in-game embassies took a bit longer, but it was still done in the end.

In lieu of the reestablishment of embassies, the Sovereign had this to say:

Statement of the Sovereign on the Restoration of Diplomatic Ties with Balder

I'm excited by the restoration of diplomatic ties with Balder. My understanding of the events that led to the severing of ties and the subsequent "cold war" between our two regions is that long term Lazarenes were unfairly and illegally ejected as part of a purge of Lazarus by the founders of the so-called Peoples Republic of Lazarus. As someone who was also exiled for not toeing the PRL party line, I can only express my own regret for what happened, and my complete sympathy for the victims of the purge, who found a new home in Balder.

I thank Kajan, Balder's Foreign Minister, for getting the stone rolling on this: Lake Flotillas, Lazarene Director of Ceremonies, for taking the next step; and the esteemed monarch of Balder, Queen Solorni, for graciously consenting to my request for the establishment of embassies.

I have high hopes for the future, and look forward to fruitful exchanges between Lazarus and Balder.

It is believed that further steps in reconciliation may be taking place soon, closing the chapter of cold war and ushering in new inter-Sinker cooperation.

---

NEWS: The Phoenix Soars Again
By Lake Flotillas

Knights prepare to battle it out on the spam fields

The surge in activity from last month looks set to continue this month, as Lazarus welcomes spring along with our fellow regions. With our forum having reached the 25,000^th mark on 29^th of February, there's not a better time to be in Lazarus!

On the legislative side, here's what we have done:

• Confirmed Izon and Courlany as Minister Steward and Minister Herald respectively, with 5-0-2 for Izon and 5-0-0 for Courlany. In other words, Izon's the go-to-guy for regional stuff, and Courlany's the one to approach regarding foreign affairs.
• Passed an amendment to the Mandate regarding endorsement caps originally proposed by former Sovereign New Rogernomics, after Horse sorted through the stack of proposals on the Director's table. This amendment sought to seek the confusion arising from using a percentage cap, by changing it to a fixed cap. With it passing 8-1-0 in favour of the amendment, Lazarus now boasts one of the highest endorsement caps among the GCRs, with only the North Pacific and the South Pacific possessing higher endorsement caps. The new endorsement caps can be found here.
• Confirmed Lake Flotillas as the new Grand Advisor, with it passing 9-0-2. Yep, he's permanently WA-immobilised in Lazarus.
• Recalled Myoria from the position of Court Official, with it passing 7-0-1. Myoria's inactivity was cited as the cause behind his/her removal.

On the administrative end:

• The Lazarene Awards have been rolled out, to encourage people to be more active in Lazarus. Awards are currently given out based on several factors such as their endorsement of the Sovereign and Grandee Secretary, their spam count, as well as their activity in the LLA.
• We've finally figured out how to use the Telegram API. Seeing as Solorni recently got her 200th endorsement, we decided to run a test TG campaign getting people to endorse Loftegen and CoS, with promising results. Further use of the Telegram API will include internal recruitment.

And the cultural side:

• Izon spared no time after assuming the position of Minister Steward, first by moving our New Year's date to the 29th of February and then organising the Lazarene Spring Festival, which took place from the 20th to 27th of February. Expect more festivals from him
• New activity records were broken in Spamtopia, with at least 100 posts being contributed per day and sometimes up to 400. To celebrate this achievement, a shrine was created in Spamtopia for Lazarenes to pray for luck in the spam fields.

Last but not least, 25 missions were conducted by the LLA, with Horse becoming our fastest rising recruit this month.

More Lazarenes have been getting involved in the government as well as the LLA, a testament to our successful efforts in getting them involved. To conclude, Lazarus looks set for another month of continued growth and prosperity as NS Summer approaches soon.

---

RUMOURS AROUND LAZARUS

Comfy Chair Warehouse Burns! Radical Terrorists Suspected!
By Loftegen

Fire engulfed Loftegen's main Comfy Chair warehouse in Altenburg early this morning, sweeping through the enormous complex at a pace that suggested arson to everyone who witnessed the conflagration.

Altenburg Fire Marshall Bill Burns, who investigated the blaze, said, "LET ME SHOW YA SOMETHING!" before holding up a note written on a sheet of asbestos. Scrawled on the sheet in fireproof ink were the words:

This fire was set by Lake Flotillas as an act of defiance against the tyranny
of Supreme Autocrat Loftegen. Honest.
RiverCastle

Authorities had no comment on who RiverCastle might be, or on whether the note was a blatant attempt to frame a prominent member of the Lazarene Government for terrorism.

Supreme Autocrat Loftegen himself had this to say: "BWAH-HA-HA! Er, um, I mean, how unfortunate."

Loftegen in the NLO?
By Caldariat

After a number of high-profile incidents within Lazarus with all suspects proven innocent, Lazarenes are now asking the essential question: Who could it have been? The perpetrator is believed to wield enormous power in Lazarus, with access to the underground lair from which the Lazarene Gazette runs its printing press as well as the numerous LLA military bases.

One brave reporter at the Lazarene Gazette postulated that Loftegen could be an agent of the NLO, responsible for these incidents inflicted upon Lazarus as revenge for their overthrow. He printed out one of the Gazette articles and highlighted the following line:

Supreme Autocrat Loftegen himself had this to say: "BWAH-HA-HA! Er, um, I mean, how unfortunate."

A Freudian slip perhaps? The reporter then requested government records on the activity of the government (or lack thereof) and concluded, "I find it disturbing that Loftegen has not had any mention on the records for the past month, other than a passing mention in a report regarding the NLO Prevention Organisation(NPO), otherwise known as the NLO Prohibition Department(NPD), as a potential member of NLO Resurgent."

This begs the question: Who exactly is Loftegen? Before the reporter could continue with his wild speculations, he was taken away by men in civilian uniform, then dragged into an unmarked black van before being driven in the direction of the Osiran desert.

Lazarene Alleged to have broken Laws of Physics
By Lake Flotillas

Ever heard of Schrödinger's cat, the thought experiment where a cat may be simultaneously dead and alive depending on whether the poison is released? Ignis Lupus, a Lazarene, was believed to have taken it one step further by summoning Schrodinger Cat into existence. Rumour has it that errors in the numerous equations used, as well as purchasing the wrong equipment for the experiment, meant that the cat existed in a superposition of the states of existence and non-existence. Afterwards, when numerous Lazarenes had a peek, the wave function collapsed, causing the cat to be in a state of existence.

Rumour has it that Supreme Autocrat Loftegen is angered at Ignis Lupis's ability to carry out a thought experiment in real life, denouncing it as "witchcraft". Last we heard, the wave function collapsed again and the cat was dead.

---

[Arastaoir]

A very good read!

Very good to see that our two regions have reopened embassies!

[Drop Your Pants]

And I managed to come back just in time for it

[Pierconium]

A good read.

I enjoyed the rumours section. I have to ask, was the inclusion of the acronyms NPO and NPD intentional? I can easily see the first, but would be surprised at the latter.

[Lake Flotillas]

A good read.

I enjoyed the rumours section. I have to ask, was the inclusion of the acronyms NPO and NPD intentional? I can easily see the first, but would be surprised at the latter.

It was accidental - though once we realised what they also stood for, we decided to keep it there

[Pierconium]

A good read.

I enjoyed the rumours section. I have to ask, was the inclusion of the acronyms NPO and NPD intentional? I can easily see the first, but would be surprised at the latter.

It was accidental - though once we realised what they also stood for, we decided to keep it there

Well done.

[Lazarene Gazette II]

The Official Newspaper of Lazarus

SPECIAL ISSUE I • March 2016 • 1 Page • Inter-Regional Edition

---

NEWS: Hitting the Campaign Trail
By Ikania

The vibrant democracy of Lazarus revved up its engine last week as nominations began for this month's election. Up for grabs are the spots of Sovereign (Delegate), Grandee Secretary (Vice-Delegate) and Director of Ceremonies (Speaker).

Current Sovereign Loftegen is running for a second term, challenged by citizens Caldariat and Horse. Incumbent Grandee Secretary Lazarus CoS, who is better known as The Church of Satan in the Rejected Realms, is running for a second term, challenged by me, Ikania. Meanwhile, citizens Lutrala and Starberry plan to contest the spot for Director of Ceremonies, while The Anatol jumped in to fight for it too.

Loftegen is a hugely popular Delegate, and we here at the Gazette can assure you this because we polled people on every street in the Forbidden City, from the Citizen's Square to the the Grand Court. Every answer was either yes, enthusiastically, or "Are you with the government? Please don't hurt me". Those were counted as 'unsure'.

The Sovereign took some time on the RMB to proclaim what had been accomplished during her first tenure, including the reestablishment of relationships with Balder, various improvements to our legal codes, spurring Gazette activity, establishing the Lazarene Awards (which are in desperate need of a better name), as well as the development of a regional map for RP purposes. He laid out some plans for the future as well, such as pressuring the Grand Court for a speedy conclusion to the Gang of Five case, and violently oppressing people more diligently than he has already.

Above: An expert's prediction of what could happen if Loftegen wins again

The regional government has laid out a timetable for the election. Nominations end on March 13th, and campaigning will last until the 20th. The voting period will then commence the next day and last 7 days until the 28th. All citizens will have an opportunity to vote - even those who obtained citizenship through long-term residency.

The future is in the hands of the Lazarene people once more, and time will only tell who will get the job of making life absolutely terrible for the rest of us.

Above: Supporters of Ikania's campaign for Grandee Secretary rallying at a convention

---

COMMENTARY: The Road to the Elections - Where Do We Go Now?
By Lake Flotillas
This is the first of a three-part series by Lake Flotillas describing the various issues that have been thrown up in the candidates' campaigns

Elections are upon us once again, and this could only mean one thing - a sounding board for the issues that Lazarus is still plagued with. Over the past three months, several outstanding issues from the previous administrations were resolved, but it was inevitable that new ones pop up, as well as outstanding ones that remained unsolved. Without further ado, we at the Lazarene Gazette have analysed the various issues brought up by various candidates.

1) Activity

Among the various issues that were brought up, this was the one that was mentioned most often, with more than one candidate basing their platform entirely along this issue. Granted, Lazarus has definitely been more active of late, possibly the most active Sinker at this moment. However, like what Horse, a candidate running for Sovereign, mentioned, our economy cannot be mainly based on processed meat production, even if we managed to produce our 25,000th can on 29 February (a special occasion indeed). Many of the candidates pointed to increased on-site activity as an aim, through festivals, polls, etc. Ike (Ikania for you) even suggested the development of the RP sector as a potential source of activity. For the candidates running for Director of Ceremonies, the need to involve more people in the Grand Assembly was heavily emphasised in their campaign manifestos.

Undoubtedly, the ability to raise the activity level of Lazarus will be key to the success of the next government of Lazarus. For many in Lazarus, we still romanticise about the PRL (People's Republic of Lazarus, the predecessor to the Humane Republic), wishing to emulate its activity levels despite the events that transpired in its last days. Having carried the label of the "Dead Sinker" for much of its history, the PRL definitely stood out, demonstrating the potential for activity that Lazarus had, and could still have. Have we achieved activity levels similar to the PRL's? Most likely not, but we're on our way there. Activities such as fun polls carried out during Harmoneia's, New Rogernomics' and even the current government (Loftegen's) proved that fun polls are still an easy way to increase regional engagement. The next administration would surely find fun polls to be a useful weapon in their arsenal in their war against inactivity.

Regarding the possibility of festivals being hosted, candidates will surely not fail to miss the huge opportunity dangling in front of them: The anniversary of the liberation of Lazarus and the subsequent establishment of the Humane Republic. What better way to increase regional activity, than to host a festival that celebrated the native victory over members of the NPO/NLO? So far, only Horse and Ike have mentioned festivals as a way to boost regional activity levels - Horse raising the possibility of special events and game nights, while Ike went slightly more into detail, describing how Lazarus could adopt weekly themes.

Lastly, many of the candidates recognised the importance of greater participation in the Grand Assembly, especially Starberry and Lutrala, two of the candidates for Director of Ceremonies. Both candidates stressed the importance of making it easier for newcomers to get involved, with Lutrala suggesting the approach of RMB messages and mass TGs, while Starberry mentioned the creation of a mentor system to guide these newcomers through the labyrinthine halls that we, the Grand Assembly, call home. They both have also recognised the importance of getting new blood in the legislature, as well as retaining current members. Will this work? Speaking from personal experience, the problem lies with communication - do the members know that there is new legislation up for vote? Do they understand the context for the various proposals? Given that legislating itself is a messy process, requiring extensive knowledge of the existing laws as well as awareness of the current situation, attempts to simplify the process would definitely attract a lot more people to the Grand Assembly.

2) Foreign Affairs

One of the key highlights of the Loftegenian Administration would be the reestablishment of foreign relations with Balder after 2 years, with the feud dating all the way back to the establishment of the PRL - regarding the controversial banning of several members from Lazarus seen to be part of the imperialist sphere. Coinciding with the end of the GCR 'Cold Wars', the reestablishment of relations with Balder makes us one step closer in truly closing the divide that lies between the independent and defender spheres. Of course, there are several issues that remain unresolved, of which this would be the most prominent: Were the bannings justified? How this is resolved depends on the next administration. Would they open a can of worms? Or would skillful diplomacy provide the band-aid to this question? Either way, the next administration would have to be extremely careful dealing with this sticky issue.

Another aspect regarding foreign affairs that is linked to regional activity levels would be the activity of our ambassadors as pointed out by Horse. The low activity levels of many of our ambassadors meant that our embassies on the forums of other regions were rather inactive, as noted by the failure to deliver monthly updates. He referenced the PRL as an example of ideal FA activity, suggesting festivals and game nights as methods to build closer bonds with fellow embassy regions. Could we see a total overhaul in the Ministry of the Herald (our Foreign Ministry) to revitalize it? It will all boil down to who the candidates wish to appoint as Minister of the Herald.

Another important aspect in Lazarus' quest for greater influence FA wise would be the FRA. With decreased influence in the NS World, there have been murmurs among Lazarenes on an exit from the FRA, or FRAxit (yep, just coined that). Granted, this issue would be controversial, with the older members seeking to retain membership and possibly use Lazarus' heavy weight in the FRA to lead the reforms, while newer members who view little benefit in remaining in the FRA are calling for a FRAxit. So far, none of the candidates have openly supported a FRAxit, with some preferring to adopt a wait-and-see approach. Should Lazarus follow in the footsteps of 00000 A World Power and leave the FRA? Or should we remain and attempt to revitalise it? This will all be dependent on reforms taking place in the next term. Should there be none, the FRAxit movement may gain more momentum in Lazarus, with the wait-and-see camp potentially leaning towards a FRAxit. Should Lazarus decide to leave the FRA, it may well spell the death knell of the FRA.

One issue that surprisingly receives little mention in this election would be on relations with the Pacific. Given that the one-year anniversary of the NLO coup is coming up, it is surprising that nary a word was said about the Pacific in the candidates' manifesto. Granted, supporting a reestablishment of relations with the Pacific may spell the end of a candidate's campaign, with regional opinion still leaning on the "Against" side. Any candidate who wishes to support the reestablishment of relations would first have to get past influential nations in Lazarus, many of whom still bear a grudge against the Pacific. This then begs a question: How long before we're finally able to say, "We're ready"? It is unlikely that we may see a reestablishment of relations with the Pacific anytime soon though the next administration may prove us wrong.

The next part will be covering on Recruitment and the LLA.

---

[Pierconium]

A nice read, as usual.

I have a question (or two) though, if you don't mind.

Is the 'speedy conclusion' to the so-called Gang of Five trial in reference to events that took place last April? If so, it is not a bit odd to be planning festivals to mark the one year anniversary of those events and to discuss possible shifts in foreign relations with the Pacific (admittedly, in a still negative light at present apparently) while still attempting to hold a trial for those responsible for the events?

I thought the justice process in TNP was longwinded...

[Loftegen]

A nice read, as usual.

I have a question (or two) though, if you don't mind.

Is the 'speedy conclusion' to the so-called Gang of Five trial in reference to events that took place last April? If so, it is not a bit odd to be planning festivals to mark the one year anniversary of those events and to discuss possible shifts in foreign relations with the Pacific (admittedly, in a still negative light at present apparently) while still attempting to hold a trial for those responsible for the events?

I thought the justice process in TNP was longwinded...

Yeah, I've been hammering away at the issue of a trial (or something), ever since the end of the coup. I've met resistance at every turn, most recently in the form of recalcitrant judges, but I persist.

[Pierconium]

A nice read, as usual.

I have a question (or two) though, if you don't mind.

Is the 'speedy conclusion' to the so-called Gang of Five trial in reference to events that took place last April? If so, it is not a bit odd to be planning festivals to mark the one year anniversary of those events and to discuss possible shifts in foreign relations with the Pacific (admittedly, in a still negative light at present apparently) while still attempting to hold a trial for those responsible for the events?

I thought the justice process in TNP was longwinded...

Yeah, I've been hammering away at the issue of a trial (or something), ever since the end of the coup. I've met resistance at every turn, most recently in the form of recalcitrant judges, but I persist.

Late justice is better than no justice, I guess.

My concern with such a delay between the two events is that in the NS world a year is a long time diplomatically and politically in most regions. At some point the need to move forward might outweigh the need to seek justice (and that always has the potential to be vengeance as much as justice).

[The Silver Sentinel]

My concern with such a delay between the two events is that in the NS world a year is a long time diplomatically and politically in most regions. At some point the need to move forward might outweigh the need to seek justice (and that always has the potential to be vengeance as much as justice).

As long as the NPO exists, justice will never be truly served.

[Pierconium]

My concern with such a delay between the two events is that in the NS world a year is a long time diplomatically and politically in most regions. At some point the need to move forward might outweigh the need to seek justice (and that always has the potential to be vengeance as much as justice).

As long as the NPO exists, justice will never be truly served.

The NPO has existed longer than most nations (I would guess yours included, even past iterations) so how is it that so many nations seem to think that the removal of our chosen system of governance is somehow 1. A justice of some kind or 2. Any of their concern?

The only 'active' nation that has any justification to speak out against the NPO, as far as its legitimacy or longevity is concerned, in my opinion, is CrazyGirl, and she and I get along just fine.

Anyway, apologies to Lazarus. I raised a legitimate question regarding your news article and your Delegate was kind enough to answer, thank you. Sorry that certain parties like to follow me around and disrupt topics.

[Drop Your Pants]

My concern with such a delay between the two events is that in the NS world a year is a long time diplomatically and politically in most regions. At some point the need to move forward might outweigh the need to seek justice (and that always has the potential to be vengeance as much as justice).

Lazarus is facing the major problem with any NS court, the justices keep wandering off

[Canton Empire]

My concern with such a delay between the two events is that in the NS world a year is a long time diplomatically and politically in most regions. At some point the need to move forward might outweigh the need to seek justice (and that always has the potential to be vengeance as much as justice).

Lazarus is facing the major problem with any NS court, the justices keep wandering off

I was there......

[Izonno]

My concern with such a delay between the two events is that in the NS world a year is a long time diplomatically and politically in most regions. At some point the need to move forward might outweigh the need to seek justice (and that always has the potential to be vengeance as much as justice).

Lazarus is facing the major problem with any NS court, the justices keep wandering off

I blame it on the comfy chairs we installed in their workplace.

[Lake Flotillas]

Lazarus is facing the major problem with any NS court, the justices keep wandering off

I blame it on the comfy chairs we installed in their workplace.

You know something's wrong when Milo's the one pressuring the Court Officials to be more active

[Loftegen]

I blame it on the comfy chairs we installed in their workplace.

Sure, blame the Comfy Chair™!

[Lazarene Gazette II]

The Official Newspaper of Lazarus

Issue VI • May 2016 • Inter-Regional Edition

---

FOREWORD: The State of the Gazette
By Frankender

The Lazarene Gazette is one that is held with large regard for the quality it is able to churn out each month. In recent times, though, production of the Gazette has been rather sluggish and the amount of contributors has been waning. However, when I was confirmed as Lazarus' newest Minister Steward, I wanted to change that as I believe journalism is one of the best ways to get a deeper connection within NationStates. While I originally intended for a new publication to be released every two weeks, I no longer feel that is necessary nor achievable with the volume of contributions we have within the Gazette. However, the Gazette is once again fully operational and will continue to release a monthly publication for the peoples of Lazarus and her friends. The Gazette is always looking for more contributors, so please make sure to get involved! We at the Gazette always love to see fresh faces.

---

POLITICAL COMMENTARY

Special Election Takes Centre Stage in Lazarus
By Saeturn Valerius Liberalis

A new special election is grabbing the attention of Lazarenes this month as four candidates prepare to duke it out for the position of Director of Ceremonies. The position, a post that is responsible for administrating and operating the Grand Assembly of the Phoenix, Lazarus's all-citizen legislature, was abruptly left open in April after previous occupant Starberries resigned due to real life concerns. Her resignation thread quickly turned from kind offers of support to worried questions on who would take her place - the heir presumptive was Caldariat, her Deputy Director of Ceremonies, but it quickly became apparent that the Mandate does not clearly state whether a deputy may take over an elected position after the resignation of their superior.

Thankfully, the Grand Court of Lazarus quickly issued a ruling authored by Court Official Amerion granting the Deputy Director of Ceremonies interim control over affairs of the Grand Assembly. After another constitutional question arose about the legality of special elections, the Court again responded promptly and clarified the legal status of special elections not expressly provided for in the Mandate. With Caldariat able to operate the Grand Assembly and nominations for the Director of Ceremonies special elections able to be opened, Lazarus readied itself for an election to decide who would run its most sacred democratic body.

The election appears to be a four way contest between the incumbent Deputy Director Caldariat, citizens Altmoras and Izon, and former Sovereign and Minister Steward, New Rogernomics. Tensions seem to be flaring as the race heats up, with all four candidates posting campaign threads and some accusations of policy stealing flying about. Nevertheless, the candidates have maintained a largely civil disposition in their conduct, and it is doubtful that any major problems will arise.

Lazarus's one political party, the recently founded People's Popular Front headed by Funkadelia, has not endorsed a candidate. It remains to be seen whether the party will take an active role in the first election held after its foundation.

"The Director of Ceremonies is the beating heart of the Assembly," said Deputy Director Caldariat when asked about what attributes she thinks a good Director candidate needs. "I would look for effectiveness and loyalty."

The Gazette asked New Rogernomics about his motivation to run for Director of Ceremonies. "The same thing that motivates me to run to serve Lazarus in any capacity, which is to encourage a little activity, and do things to make the region a better place to be," he replied. "If Lazarus picks me for the role, I hope it will be on my merits. I'll do the best I can, and if not - there's always other things I can do in Lazarus. I'm really wishing everyone luck, whoever ends up taking the position on. If that's me, then I'll be happy to take on the role."

"I'd like to be a positive force for change and growth within the Assembly and Lazarus as a whole," said Altmoras, echoing New Rogernomics's sentiments. "Perhaps even more than that though what being DoC means for me personally is a chance to prove not just myself, but all the other new people coming in as activity rises. Being Director of Ceremonies and doing my damnedest to do it well means showing everybody in Lazarus whether they've been here since antiquity or they refounded an hour ago that anyone with the determination to do so can make a meaningful impact and have a strong voice in our government. That is my responsibility, not just to reflect well on the office, or me for that matter, but to carry the torch for all the upstarts like me who want to be a positive force in our republic."

Izon was reached out to for comment but did not respond to requests from the Gazette.

As the voting draws nearer, there is little doubt Lazarenes will be watching the campaigning with a close eye. All four candidates clearly have merit, and there are already indications that it will be a close race in the end. It is important for citizens of Lazarus to consider their decision carefully, as the candidate who wins stands to potentially exert considerable influence over the future of the region. Despite the seriousness of the occasion, or perhaps even because of it, a sense of excitement and joy permeates the air in Lazarus as its denizens relish the chance to participate once again in that great institution of politics, democracy.

A New Grand Advisor?
By Altmoras

The Sverige Union, a relative newcomer in Lazarus made waves when he applied for the vaunted position of Grand Advisor, a position trusted to maintain the security and integrity of the Republic should a coup occur, among other duties. A recently revived nation having come back into existence some months ago and joining the Grand Assembly of the Phoenix even fewer months back, the Sverige Union initially rocketed onto the Lazarene stage via an aggressive campaign of "endo tarting" wherein the nation endorsed hundreds of WA nations en masse in order to reach the top ten in regional endorsements. This practice worked exactly as intended and the Sverige Union quickly rose from the mid twenties to number eight in regional endorsements. This rise was so meteoric in fact that upon reaching the required number of endorsements to apply for Grand Advisor, Sverige Union still didn't possess the required level of influence to do so.

As for what inspired his rise in the ranks, in an interview with the Gazette Sverige Union stated that "[he] wanted to become part of the Lazarene community and be involved with the region," a sentiment that he also expressed in his Grand Advisor application.

Unfortunately for the Sverige Union however, his application to be a Grand Advisor didn't go nearly as well for him as his rise to meet the requirements had done. The application was met with mixed responses from the very start as many Lazarenes expressed an uncertainty in the trustworthiness of the Sverige Union while some others wished to give them the benefit of the doubt. Those opposed to the Sverige Union taking the position primarily stated that the nation was simply too new and unknown, and that merely meeting the gameplay requirements was not enough to be trusted with such an important role in Lazarus' security apparatus.

The argument against the Sverige Union becoming a Grand Advisor seemed to be winning the debate rather decisively until Thursday, May 5th, four days after the submission of the Sverige Union's Grand Advisor application when the nation was abruptly banned from NationStates by a moderator. Initially no reason was given, but according to the Sverige Union himself, "mods are saying it was harassment and puppet spam." The Sverige Union went on to express confusion about both of the charges and deny committing either of them (knowingly, at least). Unfortunately, we only have the word of the mods and the word of the Sverige Union at this point, but regardless, the banning left his Grand Advisor application dead in the water as his number eight position in endorsements vanished in an instant.

---

RUMORS ABOUT LOFTEGEN
By Sepharist

Rumors continue to swirl in Lazarus, as new allegations were made against current Sovereign Loftegen by serial accuser Caldariat. Chief amongst the allegations was an assertation that Loftegen was nothing less than the sixth member of the infamous 'Gand of Five', the power hungry miscreants who attempted to seize Lazarus for the New Pacific Order.

Caldariat, a shabbily dressed homeless woman best know for haranguing passersby in Emerald Square (when she isn't panhandling or giving free reign to her delusion of being a K-pop Idol singer) maintains that Loftegen is in cahoots with Stujenske and his cronies to turn Lazarus over to the NPO. These claims and others like them are tweeted daily under the hashtags #LoafyLoftie, #LazyLoftie, #LazySovereign, and so forth. When confronted by this intrepid reporter, Caldariat launched into a spittle spewing screed while waving a half empty bottle of soju, which she sampled liberally during my attempt to interview her. Amongst the many claims Caldariat made was that I, Sepharist, was actually our beloved Sovereign Loftegen in disguise.

"Those cheap Groucho Marx glasses can't fool me," she slurred, repeatedly grabbing at my glasses, or my nose, or my moustache.

"Why would Loftegen stoop to pretending to be a reporter?" I asked. "He may think he's our mostly benevolent dictator, but he still has some scruples."

Caldariat began to mumble a reply, but then realized that she was out of soju, and decided it was time for a nap.

A quick jog across the square brought me to the Sovereign's Palace, and an audience with Loftegen himself. I found our glorious Supreme Autocrat looking out of a mirror, with a pair of Groucho Marx glasses perched upon his regal nose. He took his off at the same time I removed my own.

"You're a handsome devil," he said, trying to butter me up.

"As are you," I replied, not to be outdone.

"Caldariat is spreading rumors about me again, isn't she?" Loftegen said.

I was taken aback. How had he known?

"How did you know?" I asked.

"I know everything," Loftegen said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You do not," I argued.

"I know what you're thinking right now," Loftegen claimed.

"Do not."

"Do so."

"Not!"

"So!"

"Then I guess there's no point asking any more questions," I said.

"Of course not," Loftegen agreed. "Besides, you've already written down the answers."

A glance at my notepad confirmed that I had, in fact, already written down the answers to the questions I wanted to ask.

"Amazing!" I exclaimed, but our glorious Supreme Autocrat For Life was gone.

Just to make sure he wasn't hiding under his desk again, I snuck boldly into his office, past his ever-vigilant secretary, whose twin sister modeled clothing in the window of a department store on the other side of town. She ignored me, as usual.

Loftegen wasn't hiding under his desk, which was good, since that would have made rifling through the drawers awkward. Hidden away in the very back of the lowest drawer was a map of the region folded up and tucked into a dog-eared copy of Couping Lazarus For Dummies™ that had been signed by Stujenske, Pergamon, A.M.O.M., Feux and Milograd. This was damning evidence if ever I had seen such a thing. At that moment, though, some loose papers fell out of the back of the book. Among them were tickets to an AOA concert, a shopping list that read 'new socks, kimchi, soju, more soju' and an autographed five by eight glossy headshot of Kim Seol-hyun with the note 'for my favorite crazy obsessed stalker fan'.

It was suddenly perfectly clear.

Rivercastle! It was the only explanation that made sense, but would I live to see the story published?

---

[Queen Yuno]

Luv these stories <3