Awesome/Funny NS Quotes (Not Your Own Quotes, Please!)

[Doughertania]

Yeah well EHEG was supposed to be happy and whacky until you invaded the school with a murderous psychopath who was brutally executed right in front of my 14 year old character's face.

...

I don't know.

I thought that was pretty happy and wacky.

*pulls charlia to the side*
Yeah, um. Charlia... we need to talk...

[MERIZoC]

A lot of quote editing, but it was quite funny:

Apologies to Hugdom.

Was about to post that too.

[Grenartia]

Welcome to my sig quote storage facility.

Sarina can be her VP.

Jay-Valentina 2016
"All these candidates suck. Vote for the one that blows"

Standby, cleanup in progress.

Cleanup complete. Common Sense went buh-bye. Dya would be so happy, his remembrance thread got to cause the mods one last headache.

I imagine once they heard the news, Yall Qaeda will be screaming about the tree being a part of a federal conspiracy.

"It has branches! Just like the federal government! COINCIDENCE?!?"

Can anyone explain to me how was this whole 41 day debacle an act of love?!

How could it not be with all that lube?

Ok. When that big day happens, We know you going to post about what your new "vagina" feel like and Try forgot your "vagina" is a inside out penis?

No need for the scare quotes. It won't bite, I didn't go for that upgrade option.

Well, I'm not going to attack them physically or kill them.

No, you'll just support an environment that encourages other people to do so, and tell yourself your hands are still clean. They are not. You are complicit in every drop of our blood that is spilt, and may your god judge you for that.

I'm not a terrible debater, but I'm sure Sargon can articulate arguments better than I. Or at least, he has better preparation for his. Also I'm not so sure you don't have 27 minutes to spare. Two or three post-and-response cycles in a thread like this is probably 30 minutes.

But that video goes toward cultural relativsm and regressive leftists who refuse to ackowledge that islamic culture, as it currently stands, is inferior to western culture. Western culture is far from perfect, but it has, legally and socially (as a whole) rejected the intense bigotry and discrimination that still plagues middle eastern islamic culture. It was through pressure from progressives against Christianity that got western Christians and the rest of western society to totally change (again it has not reached a wholly perfect endgame but the progress has been massive) the legal and social views of homosexuality and LGBTQ as a whole. But those very same progressives outright refuse to pressure Islam and islamic culture for the same things - hell, worse things. Regressive leftists love to complain about christians and conservatives in the first world for not supporting gay marriage but refuse to pressure and discuss muslims - those in muslim countries as well as immigrants to the first world/west - who by and large believe homosexuality should not only be illegal but should be punishable by death; these people would rather tolerate intolerance than admit in some places that western culture has objective moral superiority to Islamic culture.

And this obviously relates to the orlando shooting in that no shortage of people will find anything BUT islam to blame - from guns to donald trump - for Omar's actions. Other things contributed, yes, but the primary motivation was that the man was taught to hate himself and his homosexuality because of his religious beliefs.

So you've latched onto the culture war screed of some YouTube manbaby because you like the sound of how progressives supposedly appease Islam and Muslims at every turn.

Nobody here has actually fucking insisted that Islam has absolutely no factor at all in Omar Mateen snapping.

What is being pointed out is that it's pure Durka Durka Mohammed Jihad bullshit to treat Mateen like some pious holy warrior who was dedicated to the cause from Day One when his documented history shows he was nowhere near observant of Islam and that he didn't know jack shit about terror groups or had any actual connections to them. Mateen's 911 "pledges" were nothing more than attention-whoring validation of his self-hatred and projection of it onto the Pulse patrons.

Also, the culture war bullshit is an attempt to dismiss and downplay the role that Christianity has played in the oppression of LGBTs in the United States.

Was it Muslims who forced Bill Clinton to compromise on LGBTs in the military with Don't Ask Don't Tell? Was it Muslims who pushed for the Defense of Marriage Act? Was it Muslims who pushed through Proposition 8 in Caifornia? And was it Muslims in North Carolina and Oklahoma that enacted bathroom bills?

It's rather tempting to act like it's Not So Bad just because they don't throw LGBTs off rooftops now isn't it? Much more convenient and lazy to point the finger at some foreign religion that has little to no power here and some foreign powers that nobody here has a realistic chance to change much less overthrow because The Muslim Menace is a convenient scapegoat to distract from how it's Christians that have the real power here and insured the inequality for decades.

How did people live before ballpoint pens?

they died of cholera a whole lot

[Grenartia]

Sarina can be her VP.

Jay-Valentina 2016
"All these candidates suck. Vote for the one that blows"

[The Alexanderians]

See Gren this is why I hang out with you alt-gens >.>

[Cresenthia]

Both from the Christian Discussion Thread VI

A bit off-topic.

Said poster is probably not Muslim, and definitely not Islamist. They forgot the "peace be upon him" after Muhammod. A true Islamist would never forget that.

EVERYONE WRITES REALLY LONG POSTS WITH LOTS AND LOTS OF DETAILS!!!! AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

*Head kersplodes.*

[Charlia]

...

I don't know.

I thought that was pretty happy and wacky.

*pulls charlia to the side*
Yeah, um. Charlia... we need to talk...

Hey, that scene was totally happy and wacky! You guys are just so depressing that you couldn't see it!

[Geilinor]

Carly, you're delusional if you think you can beat Hillary Clinton.

The only way you beat Hillary is if she suddenly announces that she's a Satan worshipper and sacrifices bernie sanders during the second debate, holding his heart up like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

[Luxdonia]

Poor Gradea. He can't even propagate popular opinion without getting checked.

[Anywhere Else But Here]

the leftists are destroying Europe, despite a lot of Europe swaying over to the right? how does that work?

Cognitive dissonance is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be illogical.

[Wallenburg]

That awkward moment when that's the religious doctrine of Saudi Arabia.

"Saudi Arabia, did you decapitate another Shiite?"
"Uh...of course not, Mom."
"Don't you lie to me young man. I saw you and your friends lobbing missiles at Mr. Sana'a's garage yesterday."

*sitcom laughter*

A little dark, but still funny as hell.

[Wallenburg]

I know. Seriously guys, let it die. There's already a "migrant" crisis megathread.

Should we request a merger from the mods?

Hell fucking no. That thread doesn't need another thirty pages of garbage.

Merge it with TET. It'll fit right in there.

From the "IMMIGRANTS ATE FESTROYING EUROPA!!!1l1l1l" thread, discussing a merge with the "migrant" crisis megathread.

[Anollasia]

NationStates General is a strange and frightening place. If you want to have the true horror experience, try participating in NSG while listening to the depraved dark ambient/death industrial of Brighter Death Now.

Some of the posts I read there require no accompaniment.

[Barboneia]

Jesus fucking Christ. The blood hasn't even been cleaned up and you people are already politicizing it. What is wrong with you? Is that all these victims are to you? Some excuse to argue over European politics and Islamic extremism? Their blood is just political hot sauce on an immigration enchilada? Their grieving families are just little pawns for you to checkmate your online enemies?

Just stop arguing and think for a goddamned minute. Reports are emerging that the crisis is ending, that law enforcement has solved the situation. Think of what the people involved are thinking. Think of the injured. Think of the brave men and women trying to save lives out there. Think of the victims and their families. Think of the families and friends of every person in that area. Some of them haven't heard anything from them yet. Are they dead? Are they hostages? Are they all right? The human suffering surrounding this immense, and the first thing you do? You sit down at your computer and say, "hurr, hurr, I told you, ebil Mozlumz." What. The. Fuck.

You people should be ashamed. Within 20 minutes you corrupted this from a time to offer condolences and prayers into petty political mudslinging.

[Prussia-Steinbach]

"already politicizing it"

The fuck? Terrorism is inherently political. This is a political situation with political aims. That's neither funny nor awesome, it's fucking stupid. When are people going to start bitching about us politicizing the presidential election?

[Gim]

Then, he might find some other way to gain power.

Yes, this time he'll get the Iron Cross banned...

Referring to Trageland's post.

[Wallenburg]

"already politicizing it"

The fuck? Terrorism is inherently political. This is a political situation with political aims. That's neither funny nor awesome, it's fucking stupid. When are people going to start bitching about us politicizing the presidential election?

So you are going to give the terrorists what they want? Fear? Anger? Oppressive responses so they can legitimize their actions? At least wait until we've counted the dead before arguing over whether Islam=terrorism, etc.

[Tsaraine]

A gentle reminder that discussions of immigration or the recent terrorist attacks should go in their respective threads, not here. Thank you.

- Tsar the Mod

[Dyakovo]

Okay, well...clearly we haven't considered the nationwide epidemic of warm water mannequins clogging up our roadways. It was right in front of our faces this whole time...dammit, the warm water mannequin, what where we thinking?

This does throw a warm water mannequin in to the whole thing doesn't it?

I mean, as we all know, a human driver encountering a warm water mannequin during rush hour traffic will naturally go, "Well, I don't care if that's got warm water in it or not, I'm driving straight through that motherfucker..." and no delay will be caused at all. And if we allow the driverless car to avoid an obstacle of that nature helicopters might land on it, clearly. Shit. Well, this rash of warm water mannequins in the road really is a sticky wicket. I mean, it happens so often you'd think it'd be right there in the forefront of our concerns.

Wait...is the passenger tranquilized during the trip? Maybe we should reconsider that option, because it might provide a solution. Hear me out.

Clearly we are supposing that any kind of manual override is unavailable. In all seriousness, studies in driverless cars have seemed to indicate that the most dangerous thing about driverless cars is twitchy drivers overriding the cars, but even then fine movement of the car in garages or moving the car in small spaces might just be easier to let the driver do it. But clearly this option doesn't exist because if it did we could simply just move around the mannequin once the occupant has gone, "Why, that's just a mannequin filled with warm water in the road. You see it every day, I'm afraid..."

So I propose two options. First, lets disable that function that locks the car doors and straps the passenger into their seat so that they can't move once an obstacle is encountered. I don't know why we put that there in the first place. Now, in our worst case scenario, the ubiquitous warm water mannequin can be removed and traffic can flow.

However, getting out of your car might be scary. But we can't let all these warm water mannequins littering our streets terrorize well meaning self driving car owners and we can't let a car move around an obstacle without the fear of helicopters landing on it in case it isn't a warm water mannequin and in fact an actual dude. So, I propose a button on the dash. Your driverless car encounters a warm water mannequin with its arm up and it decides, "Well, it must be a road worker and we can't go around it because helicopters might land on us" you can check if it's in fact a plastic person and there are no helicopters and you can push the Warm Water Mannequin Button that says, "Nope, that's just one of those warm water mannequins you see all the time and the sky is helicopter free, you may proceed."

I think we got it.

[Killdash]

Hey, I got in!

*sick air guitar solo*.

[Charlia]

One last question.

I assume you mean detention as in "After School You Got Caught By A Teacher Detention"?

Yeah, we're like Genius Breakfast Club.

[Prussia-Steinbach]

Ebola-chan, I love how you spread amongst the ranks of the politicians.

I wish I had more opportunities to meet them in person. Especially Republicans.

[Galloism]

I found this amusing.

And she yells ''alalalalalalala'' every day, at 17:00 hours. For dinner.

We are Muslim.
Resistance is Futile.
You will be Allahsimilated.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

On a misguided kids' show made by a terrorist group.

I am laughing too hard right now as well. God damn you guys! You're making me look like a REAL fucking prick here!

Someone get Cawthon to make another video game. We can call it Five Nights in Raqqa, where we trap an ISIS militant in a dungeon with Farfour, Nafoul, Nassur and Assoud and he has to keep out of their sight.

This Christmas season, help us place the cornerstone for our ruling of the Steam charts with our introductory 20 percent off sale!

[The Alexanderians]

Solomon had 300 wives and 700 concubines and was still considered righteous.

How did he have the time?