Awesome/Funny NS Quotes (Not Your Own Quotes, Please!)

[Frisbeeteria]

* snip *

If you can't link back to forum or RMB posts, don't post them here.

[Saskisdi]

* snip *

If you can't link back to forum or RMB posts, don't post them here.

The two quote systems don't overlap. I can add a link to it, though.

[Anollasia]

Erdogan has a stick so far up his ass, it's no wonder shit comes out of his mouth when he speaks.

[The Alexanderians]

You say potato....I say he has the credibility of a sea sponge.

[The Alexanderians]

They don't. They can stop being religious at any time.

This is why I suggest that businesses should be able to charge a 15% extra surcharge if the customer is athiest. It doesn't infringe on anybody's rights - they can always start being religious at any time.

*nods sagely*

[Soldati Senza Confini]

May cause side effects of interceptions. Do not take while on a winning season. See label and use as directed. If symptoms persist see a healthcare professional.

May also cause heartbreak losses in the fourth quarter, over-production of tears in tear ducts,
depression, loss of good D-line, loss of good O-line, and selling your two best WRs to the team you just beat in the Super Bowl the year before, and death (of a dynasty). If you have an inconsistent QB, a bunch of no-name WRs except for one crazed veteran, a beat-down defense, and a hurt RB, you should not take Gummy Flaccos. Talk to your doctor before taking Gummy Flaccos, if you have any of those symptoms.

[USS Monitor]

May also cause heartbreak losses in the fourth quarter, over-production of tears in tear ducts,
depression, loss of good D-line, loss of good O-line, and selling your two best WRs to the team you just beat in the Super Bowl the year before, and death (of a dynasty). If you have an inconsistent QB, a bunch of no-name WRs except for one crazed veteran, a beat-down defense, and a hurt RB, you should not take Gummy Flaccos. Talk to your doctor before taking Gummy Flaccos, if you have any of those symptoms.

I don't even watch football and it was still funny.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Gauthier, on the Pork thread:

Can they bring their own lunches then?

School canteens in France are run by town halls, which are free to make their own rules. Unlike in the UK, French state schools do not offer halal or kosher meat. Muslim or Jewish children who stay for lunch eat the same meat as everyone else. But on days where pork is served, a large number of town halls offer substitutes, such as a turkey sausage. Other towns offer vegetarian options. There has never been a big movement to demand halal or kosher meat in France – children who eat only halal or kosher either go home for lunch or attend private faith schools.

It reads as if brown-bagging is not allowed in French schools. Which undermines the anti-theist excuse that Muslim and Jewish students can simply brownbag to get around the teabag. If their parents can't afford private schooling or they live too far away from school to go home for lunch, Pork Or Fuck Off.

He has one heck of a way of phrasing some things.

[Old Tyrannia]

I found this quote from the "Republicans vs Gulags" thread quite poignant and insightful.

Every event in history connects to the next. Every failure is the rallying cry of the next victor. Remember the Alamo. L'Alsace est francais, n'est pas allemagne. Why do we fall?

[Giovenith]

A year ago, Nationstates entered an era of change, and a great opportunity arose from the grave for true equality between the vitally different peoples of the world, but, alas, opportunity was squandered, wasted, and trampled beneath the feet of the so-called living. So assured in their superiority that they judged the undead to be in need of a 'cure,' or simply considered them animals to be slaughtered. We approach the anniversary of that terrible day this year, and once again, we have a chance.

Here, in the heart of NationStates, we have a chance for the living and the dead to stand upon equal ground, not as foes, but as brothers. I say to the living that they need not fear the dead...after all, what is life? A pulse? Brain activity? The rush of chemicals and exchange of oxygen? Or is life something less defined, something like the creative essence which resides within us? The energy that drives us towards our goals? The needs and desires that we all experience? I say that life is not defined by one's physical body, but by one's mind! Though I have no pulse, I still yearn! Though my brain is only so much useless grey sludge, I still create! My arms may be decaying, but I still feel the emotion of embracing a loved one!

I speak to you, the living, not as the fearful embodiment of death itself, for those of us who have died know now that simply laying down and rotting is the easy way. We, though we may need to occasionally stitch a limb back on or soak an eyeball in saline to keep it from deflating too much, are not so different. We are not monsters, we are not murders, for in a world where death is not the end, there can be no murder! It is not out of malice that we seek to bring others into the fold, but through the desire to end the scourges of human history! There is no undead war, there is no undead famine, there is no undead pestilence, there is no death for the undead!

Therefore, I say, let this chilly autumn of life pass into the cool winter of death! Two thousand fourteen is not an end, but a beginning! Those who hope that the undead needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if Nationstates returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in Nationstates until the undead reach from pole to pole. The whirlwinds of the horde will continue to shake the foundations of our world until the bright day of justice emerges!

As we shamble forward into this new world, we must remember that we cannot turn back to the cold darkness of the grave. There are those of the living that may ask, "when will you be satisfied?" We can NEVER be satisfied as long as the vitally challenged are the object of military crackdowns, brutal subjugation, and cruel experimentation. We cannot be satisfied as the bodies of our fellow undead, weary with much shambling, are mowed down by snipers and machine guns at the city limits. We cannot be satisfied as long as the undead's mobility is from the horde to the mass grave. We cannot be satisfied as the newly dead are stripped of their basic humanity and rights by blockades with signs saying "for the living only." No! We are not satisfied! And we will not be satisfied until the justice rolls from the heights like our mighty horde marching on an isolated farmhouse!

I am not unmindful that some of you come here out of great trials and tests. Some of you come fresh from the grave. Some of you come from areas where your quest for equality saw you laid low by the cold hand of science and staggering in the winds of military brutality. I say to you, go back to Maxtopia, go back to Bigtopia, go back to Gholgoth and the Pacific! Go back to the graveyards of the north, knowing that this situation CAN be changed! Let us not wallow in the tomb of despair.

I say to you today, friends, so that even though we may face difficulties today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the Undead dream!

I have a dream that one day the dead will rise up and seek out the living to deliver the true meaning of our creed, "Grrrrrrrraaauuuuurghhhhhwaaarghhhlbllllblrggghhh!"

I have a dream that the hills of Bigtopia will run red with the blood of the sons of former oppressed Maxtopian migrants and Bigtopian natives alike.

I have a dream that even the Pacific regions, sweltering in the heat of injustice, sweltering in the heat of vitality, will be transformed into a desert of unlife and terror.

I have a dream that my four million undead brethren will come to a nation full of fat and slow people, and will not judge them by their vital status, but by how good they taste.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in the South Pacific, with its vicious vitalists, with its UN delegate having his lips dripping with words of cures and extermination; one day, right there in the South Pacific, undead and human will join hands, and the humans will be eaten.

I have a dream today.

And if NationStates is to be a great world this must be true! So let the hordes loose from the great hills of Milograd! Let the hordes loose from the mighty mountains of Gholgoth! Let the hordes loose from the plains of Lazarus!

Let the hordes loose from Osiris!

Let the hordes loose from 10000 Islands!

But not only that, let the hordes loose from The Rejected Realms! From every Pacific, North, South, East and West, let the undead hordes loose! From every mountain and molehill of every region of NationStates, let the hordes go forth!

And when that happens, when the moans of undeath ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, from every nation in every region, we will know that the day has arrived when ALL the children of the world, white men, black men, Jews, Gentiles, Protestants, Catholics, and Violetists will be able to join together in a great, shambling, tide of the dead and sing in the words of the old undead hymnals, "NNnngraaarggggghhh! Gragh bruuuughrrrgggghhh graaaaagmkh!"

[Wallenburg]

A year ago, Nationstates entered an era of change, and a great opportunity arose from the grave for true equality between the vitally different peoples of the world, but, alas, opportunity was squandered, wasted, and trampled beneath the feet of the so-called living. So assured in their superiority that they judged the undead to be in need of a 'cure,' or simply considered them animals to be slaughtered. We approach the anniversary of that terrible day this year, and once again, we have a chance.

Here, in the heart of NationStates, we have a chance for the living and the dead to stand upon equal ground, not as foes, but as brothers. I say to the living that they need not fear the dead...after all, what is life? A pulse? Brain activity? The rush of chemicals and exchange of oxygen? Or is life something less defined, something like the creative essence which resides within us? The energy that drives us towards our goals? The needs and desires that we all experience? I say that life is not defined by one's physical body, but by one's mind! Though I have no pulse, I still yearn! Though my brain is only so much useless grey sludge, I still create! My arms may be decaying, but I still feel the emotion of embracing a loved one!

I speak to you, the living, not as the fearful embodiment of death itself, for those of us who have died know now that simply laying down and rotting is the easy way. We, though we may need to occasionally stitch a limb back on or soak an eyeball in saline to keep it from deflating too much, are not so different. We are not monsters, we are not murders, for in a world where death is not the end, there can be no murder! It is not out of malice that we seek to bring others into the fold, but through the desire to end the scourges of human history! There is no undead war, there is no undead famine, there is no undead pestilence, there is no death for the undead!

Therefore, I say, let this chilly autumn of life pass into the cool winter of death! Two thousand fourteen is not an end, but a beginning! Those who hope that the undead needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if Nationstates returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in Nationstates until the undead reach from pole to pole. The whirlwinds of the horde will continue to shake the foundations of our world until the bright day of justice emerges!

As we shamble forward into this new world, we must remember that we cannot turn back to the cold darkness of the grave. There are those of the living that may ask, "when will you be satisfied?" We can NEVER be satisfied as long as the vitally challenged are the object of military crackdowns, brutal subjugation, and cruel experimentation. We cannot be satisfied as the bodies of our fellow undead, weary with much shambling, are mowed down by snipers and machine guns at the city limits. We cannot be satisfied as long as the undead's mobility is from the horde to the mass grave. We cannot be satisfied as the newly dead are stripped of their basic humanity and rights by blockades with signs saying "for the living only." No! We are not satisfied! And we will not be satisfied until the justice rolls from the heights like our mighty horde marching on an isolated farmhouse!

I am not unmindful that some of you come here out of great trials and tests. Some of you come fresh from the grave. Some of you come from areas where your quest for equality saw you laid low by the cold hand of science and staggering in the winds of military brutality. I say to you, go back to Maxtopia, go back to Bigtopia, go back to Gholgoth and the Pacific! Go back to the graveyards of the north, knowing that this situation CAN be changed! Let us not wallow in the tomb of despair.

I say to you today, friends, so that even though we may face difficulties today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the Undead dream!

I have a dream that one day the dead will rise up and seek out the living to deliver the true meaning of our creed, "Grrrrrrrraaauuuuurghhhhhwaaarghhhlbllllblrggghhh!"

I have a dream that the hills of Bigtopia will run red with the blood of the sons of former oppressed Maxtopian migrants and Bigtopian natives alike.

I have a dream that even the Pacific regions, sweltering in the heat of injustice, sweltering in the heat of vitality, will be transformed into a desert of unlife and terror.

I have a dream that my four million undead brethren will come to a nation full of fat and slow people, and will not judge them by their vital status, but by how good they taste.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in the South Pacific, with its vicious vitalists, with its UN delegate having his lips dripping with words of cures and extermination; one day, right there in the South Pacific, undead and human will join hands, and the humans will be eaten.

I have a dream today.

And if NationStates is to be a great world this must be true! So let the hordes loose from the great hills of Milograd! Let the hordes loose from the mighty mountains of Gholgoth! Let the hordes loose from the plains of Lazarus!

Let the hordes loose from Osiris!

Let the hordes loose from 10000 Islands!

But not only that, let the hordes loose from The Rejected Realms! From every Pacific, North, South, East and West, let the undead hordes loose! From every mountain and molehill of every region of NationStates, let the hordes go forth!

And when that happens, when the moans of undeath ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, from every nation in every region, we will know that the day has arrived when ALL the children of the world, white men, black men, Jews, Gentiles, Protestants, Catholics, and Violetists will be able to join together in a great, shambling, tide of the dead and sing in the words of the old undead hymnals, "NNnngraaarggggghhh! Gragh bruuuughrrrgggghhh graaaaagmkh!"

That deserves its own celebratory thread.

[Cresenthia]

Turkish electors, please do give Erdogan the boot. Hard. In his ass.

[The Princes of the Universe]

Someone was bound to go there when the LDS undergarments came up in conversation.

I wear magic underpants.
And then I wear a robe and wizard hat.
The underpants are to hide my wand.

Dear lord, are you trying to kill me with these lines, Blaat? XD Now I'm reminded of the super secret diaries and Gandalf's Magic Hat Trick. Ye gods.

[The United Colonies of Earth]

You've never drank anything else? Ever?
Your mom must have interesting tits...

Plot twist; he is an asexual microbe that budded off his parent and found a keyboard.

[Saskisdi]

Nah. We've managed to get a good look around the solar system and further afield. No advanced life or even hints thereof so far. Expand, pillage, we're number one in a very comfortable radius. Make so much money.

Infinite space means infinite mojitos.

[Eastern Equestria]

This wasn't intentionally meant to be funny, but it's so half-baked that you can't help but laugh reading it.

The government can tell people what is and is not legal; in other words, it tells them that they cannot act on opinions which run counter to the law. What it does not do is tell people that they cannot think those opinions.

No to the thought police, thankyouverymuch.

These are good thought police that exist for the purpose of preserving civil freedoms and suppressing bad opinions.

[Kaboomlandia]

People actually live in Wyoming?

Of course not, that's an elaborate fabrication so that no one knows it is the location of a secret research facility trying to create a high functioning AI to assume control of the Russian nuclear deterrent. Duh.

[The Holy Therns]

Eugenics thread.

Maybe an argument could have been made for it before, but like so many things it was permanently ruined by Nazis.

Damned Nazis they ruined Nazism

[Crysuko]

le tag

[The Blaatschapen]

le tag

Do not do this. Use the bookmark function instead. It's at the bottom of the page.

[The Alexanderians]

that sentence makes no sense

Then it's in the right thread.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

too many of my genes code for shitty things.

Developing functional intestines and anus does take quite a number of genes.

[Mienon]

I once spilled blood while taking a shit. Does that mean I should've kept it around as a symbol of my sacrifice?

[Geilinor]

I'm glad Hagia Sophia is still a museum, though I don't know if that'll last.

Oh boy, not again... I hope this doesn't happen anytime soon.
I already see the idiotic jingoistic headlines on Greek papers; "LET'S STUFF THAT TURKEY WITH GREASE", and the Turkish ones following "FEEL MY TURKISH DELIGHT".

[The Princes of the Universe]

Yep. He went there.

But I've mastered typing with paws.

Impressive skill. I would tell you what I type with, but alas, PG-13.