The Lazarene Gazette

by **New Rogernomics** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 4:26 pm

The Official Newspaper of Lazarus

Rules of Discussion:
• Keep reasonably on-topic to an article or issue
i.e. if the article is about cats, you can talk about other pets,
but not the mechanics of an internal combustion engine (unless the said cat uses it for warmth).
• Discussion is welcome, but don't fill the thread with random stuff that gets this thread locked.
• Criticize at will, as most of the people at the Lazarene Gazette have thick-skin,
but realize that everyone makes mistakes (except Chuck Norris).
• If you want a correction made to the Lazarene Gazette, you can ask in the thread.
• If you would like to have some input on the next issue, do so on our forum.

Past Issues:
- Issue I August 2015: viewtopic.php?p=25807487#p25807487
- Issue II September 2015: viewtopic.php?p=26159564#p26159564
- Issue III October 2015: viewtopic.php?p=26550058#p26550058

Next Issue:
- Issue IV November 2015

Editing Team

Editor-in-Chief: New Rogernomics
Managing Editor: Belschaft
Assistant Editor: The Church Of Satan

Contributors:

Ainin
Belschaft
DinosFM1994
Funkadelia
Ike
Kazmr
Llamas
New Rogernomics
The Church Of Satan

If you would like to become a contributor to the Gazette, visit this thread to make an application.

by **New Rogernomics** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 4:27 pm

The Official Newspaper of Lazarus

FUNKADELIA RESIGNS AS SOVEREIGN, HARMONEIA'S ADMINISTRATION BEGINS

Funk Resigns as Sovereign, New Sovereign Ascends
By New Rogernomics in Lazarus

With the sudden resignation of Funkadelia as a respected and hard-working Sovereign and World Assembly Delegate, Harmoneia has stepped down as Grandee Secretary (otherwise known as the Vice-Delegacy) to hold new elections and establish a new administration.

This has led to a list of remarkable new proposals during Harmoneia's new administration, including the implementation of Grand Advisors, who will help maintain regional security, through their World Assembly Endorsements, as well as have the power to succeed to the Vice Delegacy or remove the Sovereign - in very exceptional circumstances.

This was preceded by a constitutional amendment to the Mandate of Lazarus that provisioned for the exceptional circumstances surrounding Funk's resignation:

Article VI - On Security

1. The Grandee Secretary shall seek to hold the second most endorsements in the region.
2. If the office of Sovereign is vacant or the Sovereign is absent, the Grandee Secretary shall assume the duties of the Sovereign.
3. 2. Any citizen who meets the influence and endorsement requirements established by law may apply to be a Grand Advisor. The Grand Assembly may approve an applicant by a two-thirds majority vote.
4. 3. Grand Advisors shall maintain endorsement counts below that of the Grandee Secretary, but may exceed any endorsement cap established by law.
5. 4. A line of succession beyond the Vice Delegate among the Grand Advisors may be established by law.
6. 5. The Grand Assembly shall vote on confidence in the Grand Advisors every four months. Any Grand Advisor who does not receive the confidence of a majority shall be recalled.
7. 6. Grand Advisors shall maintain regional security under the direction of the Grandee Secretary and enforce decisions of the Grand Assembly to remove the Sovereign.
7. If the Sovereign is absent, the Grandee Secretary -- or, if the Grandee Secretary is unavailable, the Grand Advisor next in the line of succession who is available -- shall assume the duties of Sovereign until the Sovereign returns.
8. If the office of Sovereign is vacant, the Grandee Secretary may take office as Sovereign for the remainder of the term.
9. If the Grandee Secretary takes office as Sovereign, or the office of Grandee Secretary is otherwise vacated, a special election shall be conducted to elect a new Grandee Secretary for the remainder of the term.
10. If the Grandee Secretary is unavailable to take office as Sovereign when needed, the following procedure shall be observed until a special election can be conducted to elect a new Sovereign for the remainder of the term:
A. If the outgoing Sovereign resigns rather than being recalled, the outgoing Sovereign may serve as Acting Sovereign if available.
B. If the outgoing Sovereign is unavailable to serve, the Grandee Secretary may serve as Acting Sovereign if available.
C. If neither the outgoing Sovereign nor the Grandee Secretary are available to serve, the Grand Advisor next in the line of succession who is available shall serve as Acting Sovereign.
You may vote aye, nay or abstain. This vote will last for seven days. As an amendment to the Mandate, this will require a two-thirds super-majority to pass.

Harmoneia also gave a short speech to the region, on Funkadelia's resignation, and outlined the goals for her new administration:

From the Residence of the Sovereign wrote:First off, I am sorry to see Funk go. He did some nice work and his would be large shoes to fill. I wish him well and thank him for his service.

Now on to business.

There is roughly a month and a half before the term ends, and I intend to finish this term in lieu of Funk as per the constitution, before we will have the next delegate elections. For the VD, however, I will propose to the legislature that we hold special elections for one.

I am currently taking with the cabinet regarding plans for the term, which includes our foreign policy, strengthening internal affairs, as well as cultivating cultural matters.

This is a difficult time for most of us, but we can make the most out of it, so let's all try to hold ourselves together while we undergo this time of transition.

If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,
Harmoneia

LKE RECRUITMENT BAN LIFTED
Imperialists thrilled...kinda sorta
By The Church of Satan in Lazarus

On August first, the recruitment ban placed on the Land of Kings and Emperors by NationStates Moderation was lifted. You might remember that three months prior, LKE had benefited from illegal recruitment in which a member of their Interior Ministry, Delete-on-Sight (DOS) player Bob Moran, used an illegal script to fake manual recruitment. The script in question was created and provided by also Delete-on-Sight (DOS) player, Anur-Sanur, more commonly known as Frak.

It is unknown how the region attempted to cope with the population decrease, which wasn't as terrible as they said it would be, other than a hollow boost in population using former military puppet nations from Europeia and The Communist Bloc. Why they resorted to an artificial and temporary boost such as that isn't known, but one could speculate it was in order to prevent some sort of statistical low.

The region was definitely persistent though, pointlessly so as it turns out. They made every effort to get the ban lifted or reduced but despite all of the griping and compromising, they served the 3 month recruitment ban in it's entirety. During that time however, a new feature to NationStates was added, giving region's better control of recruitment. Reiben, pay attention. Now, this is the way to gripe. Continue, Jackson.

The official statement concerning the end of the ban released by LKE made it a point to ham-handedly state their dissatisfaction with NS Moderation perhaps for the hundreth time. The Lazarene Gazette attempted to get some comments from LKE, however regional policy does not allow its citizens to speak with affiliates of regions they are at war with*. It's obvious that they will be more careful with recruitment in the future as their official statement at one point read 'Given this, we can never again have faith in the integrity of manual recruitment system.'

Congratulations to LKE on resuming recruitment again. There is little doubt that they will recover from the population decrease, in time.

KRULL PACKS HIS BAGS
NPO's tinpot finally gets tired of rule
By Ike in Lazarus

You heard it here, folks- Krulltopia is finally gone. You can emerge from your hiding spots now.

On Monday, August 10th, Pierconium publicly announced in an official statement that Krulltopia, long-time Emperor of the New Pacific Order, was stepping down. Krulltopia presided over the Pacific for over six years, a period of time where any other GCR would have around 10 different Delegates. During this period, the Pacific became stagnant with little signs of activity and no presence on the international stage. Meanwhile, the NPO Senate schemed behind closed doors. More specifically, the NPO managed to pull off a coup of Lazarus. Luckily, celebrated native and Lazarene hero, Kazmr, took back the region in a well-executed plot by infiltrating the "New Lazarene Order" and by extension the NPO itself.

Pierconium, also known as Ivan, has appointed Elegarth, a mildly controversial figure in Gameplay due to his less than transparent 'win' of the Premiership in the West Pacific and less-than-friendly attitude, to the NPO's Senate. One can only speculate as to why Elegarth has re-entered the NPO Senate, having previously left it as well as criticizing the NPO for their actions in Lazarus. At the same time, Pierconium has also appointed Elegarth as the "Senator of Diplomacy", which means if you are a delegate dealing with the NPO (why are you dealing with the NPO?), he'll be the face of the whole mess. It also calls into question the fact that Elegarth left because of his hostility. Ivan has also appointed Aleisyr as Viceroy, in order to help carry out changes in the 'provisional government system' that he is planning to introduce soon.

Meanwhile, Krull hit the rails, travelling to every GCR and posting a brief message that equates to 'hello', earning himself a cheeky ban in TEP from Ramaeus. Reactions from players have mostly been the obligatory "good luck, mate" with a statement from Kazmr that the NPO's new Delegate won't find a friend in Lazarus anytime soon. Ivan has quickly taken to taunting enemies of the NPO, urging them to try and do something about it, which he is clearly in a position to do. Taking over The Pacific would be no easy task.

Krull's departure may very well mark the end of an era for the Pacific, a particularly long era that lasted longer than many GP careers. Perhaps Ivan will be different, more of an activity booster this time...or not. The general consensus is that nothing will really change. Warm farewells from raiders and imperialists alike adorn Pierconium's statement thread after their near successful takeover of Lazarus, but the reaction here will be less so.

BT's ONE HIT WONDER COMPETITION
The Benevolent Thomas GOAT Lists
By DinosFM1994, and The Church of Satan, in Lazarus

The term one-hit wonder is most often used to describe music performers having one signature song which overshadows their other work but have you really wondered which song is the all time best? Benevolent Thomas' got the answer. After gathering songs for a week, 32 songs made the final cut to compete in the Competition of Competitions. The songs that took place in the competition are:

Currently the semifinals are in progress and as the competition approaches its conclusion let's take a look at the semifinalists:

Poll 1: Come On Eileen vs. Eye of The Tiger

At the time of this article's writing, the two songs are tied at 3 votes each. At this point it's anybody's game.

Poll 2: Bitter Sweet Symphony vs. Closing Time.

At the time of this articles writing, Closing Time for Semisonic may come later than expected, as it is in the lead with 3 votes. The Verve may very well eat their own words as Bitter Sweet Symphony trails behind with 2 votes, but the tables may very well turn.

Stay tuned for more competition coverage and don't forget to drop by the regional forum to submit your vote and announce your favorite One Hit Wonder of all time!

COMICS & FUNNIES

*Correction: According to Onderkelkia this does not imply hostility.

by **Eye of Horus** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 4:43 pm

The Church of Satan wrote:On August first, the recruitment ban placed on the Land of Kings and Emperors by NationStates Moderation was lifted.

The recruitment ban was lifted on July 27th... you know, because three months after April 27th is the 27th of July.

The Church of Satan wrote:Why they resorted to an artificial and temporary boost such as that isn't known, but one could speculate it was in order to prevent some sort of statistical low.

"that isn't known" by the writer of this article.*
It probably had something to do with how lots of new players gravitate toward larger regions while scrolling through the region list. Arbitrary jabs in an article don't work when the author has any idea what he's talking about.

by **Xoriet** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 4:50 pm

Pierconium, also known as Ivan, has appointed Elegarth, a mildly controversial figure in Gameplay due to his less than transparent 'win' of the Premiership in the West Pacific and less-than-friendly attitude, to the NPO's Senate. One can only speculate as to why Elegarth has re-entered the NPO Senate, having previously left it as well as criticizing the NPO for their actions in Lazarus.

Your serious grudge against Elegarth over the TWP issue is showing strongly here, Ikania. He isn't controversial for disagreeing with his own region's government over an issue that was troublesome. It seems that there are many of us who have disagreed with the governments of our own regions.

Or does the premise you set make you and Llamas 'mildly controversial' for criticizing Lazarus and The West Pacific?

Don't turn this into the next TRT.

by **The Church of Satan** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 4:57 pm

Some of us have/had a lot of work to do, including our articles. Sue me. -_-

It isn't known because LKE refused to speak with us. Don't blame me for their inaction. You want somebody to criticize, go run to Onder. :roll:

by **Ever-Wandering Souls** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:10 pm

The Church of Satan wrote:Some of us have/had a lot of work to do, including our articles. Sue me. -_-

It isn't known because LKE refused to speak with us. Don't blame me for their inaction. You want somebody to criticize, go run to Onder.

Except, you know, for the fact that that was public material. Anything and everything about LKE and the recruitment ban has been said once, twice, a thousand times in multiple forums here. And it's been specifically stated that puppets were purposely brought in to keep the region's size up.

by **Eye of Horus** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:10 pm

The Church of Satan wrote:Some of us have/had a lot of work to do, including our articles. Sue me. -_-

A fine attitude for a columnist.

The Church of Satan wrote:It isn't known because LKE refused to speak with us.

Perhaps doing even the tiniest bit of research on these forums will yield a better understanding on the topic you wrote about.

The Church of Satan wrote:Don't blame me for their inaction.

Why blame others when you're the journalist writing the commentary?

The Church of Satan wrote:You want somebody to criticize, go run to Onder.

Onder didn't write this article.

by **The Church of Satan** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:20 pm

Except LKE never stated, publicly or otherwise, why they fortified their population with puppets. Besides, I don't write to entertain you. I write because I enjoy writing. So I won't apologize for not living up to your expectations. If you don't like it then why don't you write your own version so I can bash you for not living up to my expectations? :hug:

by **United RussoAsia** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:33 pm

This looks far too much like TRT. Same untrustworthy, low-quality and biased authors(except new roger, looked ok) writing the exact same kind of BS they were writing before.

Disgusting.

by **The Church of Satan** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:39 pm

Why thank you. It's nice to hear such praise from The West Pacific.

by **Ikania** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:42 pm

Xoriet wrote:
Pierconium, also known as Ivan, has appointed Elegarth, a mildly controversial figure in Gameplay due to his less than transparent 'win' of the Premiership in the West Pacific and less-than-friendly attitude, to the NPO's Senate. One can only speculate as to why Elegarth has re-entered the NPO Senate, having previously left it as well as criticizing the NPO for their actions in Lazarus.

Your serious grudge against Elegarth over the TWP issue is showing strongly here, Ikania. He isn't controversial for disagreeing with his own region's government over an issue that was troublesome. It seems that there are many of us who have disagreed with the governments of our own regions.

Or does the premise you set make you and Llamas 'mildly controversial' for criticizing Lazarus and The West Pacific?

Don't turn this into the next TRT.

I was going to write a big long post about why I put that in, but then I realized something: I do not give a single fuck. Thanks for the critique though.

by **The Church of Satan** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:45 pm

Calm down Ike. No need to use that kinda language. LKE and TWP always criticize anything written about LKE and for some reason, The Pacific. Probably part of LKE's proxy war against Lazarus, lol.

Anyways, be glad the rest of us toned down Ike's article. You should have seen it before the editing process. We just couldn't let it go to print the way it was. :shock:

by **Onderkelkia** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:48 pm

I can only echo the commentary of Xoriet, Eyes of Horus and United RussoAsia. The propaganda newsletter that was TRT has been refounded in Lazarus.

The responses so far from Church of Satan and Ikania certainly remind me of TRT's responses when the inevitable errors in their output were revealed.

Church of Satan wrote:Except LKE never stated, publicly or otherwise, why they fortified their population with puppets.

The section of the LKE statement on this point read as follows:

Today, our population stands at 326. This is a higher level than we predicted it might fall to. Partly, population loss was stemmed by an initiative of our ally Europeia and our friend The Communist Bloc to dump former military puppets in our region. We are grateful for these regions for their act of solidarity and we will be working with them to ensure that the artificial boost to our population is now removed.

It's pretty clear that we accepted and welcomed this gesture of friendship to stop the artificially created population loss from the recruitment ban.

The newspaper complains that the population loss "wasn't as terrible as they said it would be": well this is partly why. We still felt the effects in the sense that we had no intake of regular new members on our forums from nations which joined our region, but that's not something which could have been helped.

New Rogernomics wrote:It's obvious that they will be more careful with recruitment in the future as their official statement at one point read 'Given this, we can never again have faith in the integrity of manual recruitment system.'

What happened was never a question of the LKE being careless; it was a question of Bob Moran intentionally committing wrongdoing in a manner that we could never have prevented because the means to detect, that he was acting against the rules, were unavailable. With the new feature we requested in place, we have proactively prevented any future incident by blocking non-API recruitment - so saying the LKE will be "more careful" really misses the point.

by **Ever-Wandering Souls** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:48 pm

The Church of Satan wrote:Calm down Ike. No need to use that kinda language. LKE and TWP always criticize anything written about LKE and for some reason, The Pacific. Probably part of LKE's proxy war against Lazarus, lol.

Anyways, be glad the rest of us toned down Ike's article. You should have seen it before the editing process. We just couldn't let it go to print the way it was.

Just to be clear, are you accusing TWP of institutionally assisting LKE with it's war against Lazarus, in part by supporting The Pacifc?

by **Tano** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:49 pm

Ikania wrote:
Xoriet wrote:Your serious grudge against Elegarth over the TWP issue is showing strongly here, Ikania. He isn't controversial for disagreeing with his own region's government over an issue that was troublesome. It seems that there are many of us who have disagreed with the governments of our own regions.

Or does the premise you set make you and Llamas 'mildly controversial' for criticizing Lazarus and The West Pacific?

Don't turn this into the next TRT.

I was going to write a big long post about why I put that in, but then I realized something: I do not give a single fuck. Thanks for the critique though.

What an absolutely lovely attitude you have.

by **Ikania** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:51 pm

Well to be quite honest, I wasn't originally going to include why Elegarth was seen as controversial, but figured I would throw in some prejudice in there, because I like my Gazette how I like my puppet government; chock-full of propaganda.

by **Onderkelkia** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:58 pm

The Church of Satan wrote:Calm down Ike. No need to use that kinda language. LKE and TWP always criticize anything written about LKE and for some reason, The Pacific. Probably part of LKE's proxy war against Lazarus, lol.

Anyways, be glad the rest of us toned down Ike's article. You should have seen it before the editing process. We just couldn't let it go to print the way it was.

The claim that there has been any TWP criticism of the Lazarus Gazette as "part of LKE's proxy war against Lazarus" is bizarre and offensive.

There have been no conversations whatsoever between the LKE and TWP regarding Lazarus.

by **The Church of Satan** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 5:59 pm

Ever-Wandering Souls wrote:Just to be clear, are you accusing TWP of institutionally assisting LKE with it's war against Lazarus, in part by supporting The Pacific?

No but wouldn't that be something if it were true? :rofl:

Onder, I'm sure the reason my article is so reminiscent of TRT is because, well I've been writing for TRT for like 2 years. Besides, it's a commentary. I know you (and probably a lot of imperialists) find it hard to believe that I have no ill-will towards LKE or any imperialist region for that matter, but big shocker, it's true. Although I fully intended for this article to sound snarky. Be honest, you guys sure did whine a lot about the recruitment ban. I rather liked making light of that whole thing. It's just how I write. Keep in mind that I did attempt to speak with you about it. Maybe if you guys weren't so stubborn about your "war" against The FRA, the facts could be out there. I really wanted to speak with LKE about it. You guys are just so adamant about acting so hostile about the whole thing.

by **United RussoAsia** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 6:04 pm

Ikania wrote:I do not give a single fuck. Thanks for the critique though.

This is the kind of attitude from CoS and people like you that made the last paper so bad.
Of course, you don't care, as you just stated. You'd put your opinion out there by any means possible no matter how much it hurt the region or organisation behind you.

The Church of Satan wrote:LKE and TWP always criticize anything written about LKE and for some reason, The Pacific.

Give us an article that doesn't simply paint them in the worst possible light, partly by assuming things that aren't true because you didn't bother doing research, and we wouldn't.

Probably part of LKE's proxy war against Lazarus, lol.

This is just absolute bull.

Ikania wrote:Well to be quite honest, I wasn't originally going to include why Elegarth was seen as controversial, but figured I would throw in some prejudice in there, because I like my Gazette how I like my puppet government; chock-full of propaganda.

Proof of what I said above.

by **Ikania** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 6:05 pm

No, just proof that you don't know what satire is.

by **The Church of Satan** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 6:08 pm

I could have wrote the article to say "LKE benefitted from illegal recruitment when Delete-On-Sight (DOS) player Bob Moran was ordered to use the script by the government of LKE" but guess what? I gave you guys the benefit of the doubt out of fairness and professional courtesy. If you guys think my article "paints LKE in the worst possible light" you are sorely mistaken.

by **United RussoAsia** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 6:10 pm

Ikania wrote:No, just proof that you don't know what satire is.

That could not be considered satire. More like a pure bashing of the people you don't like, written so as to be disguised as a report on what everybody who cares already knows.

by **Ikania** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 6:10 pm

United RussoAsia wrote:
Ikania wrote:No, just proof that you don't know what satire is.

That could not be considered satire. More like a pure bashing of the people you don't like, written so as to be disguised as a report on what everybody who cares already knows.

*sigh*

by **The Church of Satan** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 6:12 pm

Ike, even I have to admit that it's pretty obvious what your intention with the article was. It was a mess pre-edit.

by **Onderkelkia** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 6:15 pm

The Church of Satan wrote:Although I fully intended for this article to sound snarky. Be honest, you guys sure did whine a lot about the recruitment ban. I rather liked making light of that whole thing. It's just how I write. Keep in mind that I did attempt to speak with you about it. Maybe if you guys weren't so stubborn about your "war" against The FRA, the facts could be out there. I really wanted to speak with LKE about it. You guys are just so adamant about acting so hostile about the whole thing.

There is nothing "hostile" about declining to give a tailored statement to a region you are war with and a reporter who has previously misrepresented you. The LKE has made copious statements on this topic (as your article is at pains to point out). A newspaper receiving a comment is a privilege rather than a right. Whether or not it can obtain comments from all its desired sources has no bearing on its own higher responsibility to provide factual reporting.

In any case, the request you did send, asking for comment, related to the end of the ban; it was nothing to do with why the population had not fallen as drastically as predicted or the measures taken to stabilise loss. So I fail to see how this aspect of your report would have been improved by a comment.

It's perfectly obvious why steps were taken to stabilise the population loss. You chose to adopt a "snarky" tone about this point to imply nefarious motives.

The Church of Satan wrote:I could have wrote the article to say "LKE benefitted from illegal recruitment when Delete-On-Sight (DOS) player Bob Moran was ordered to use the script by the government of LKE" but guess what? I gave you guys the benefit of the doubt out of fairness and professional courtesy. If you guys think my article "paints LKE in the worst possible light" you are sorely mistaken.

If you had written that, it would have simply been lying.

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