International Baseball Slam VIII Everything Thread (IC)

[Abanhfleft]

MUSINGS OF AN ARMORED DINNER JACKET
Official blog of Ibrahim Ahmadinejad, Right Fielder of the Verbergerkinnh Cubs and the Abanhfleft Revolution

ONE LISANDER DOWN, ONE GREGORYISGODISTAN TO GO...


Players of the Abanhfleft Revolution mob Carlos Teves as he once again scored a walk-off home run to seal Abanhfleft's victory over the Lisander Arminhos and send them to a semifinals matchup against the Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network Sports Channel/Umkhonto Thabowane)

LIVE FROM DISTRICT 27, GREGORYISGODISTAN - We managed to dodge one bullet there, but can we avoid the next one coming for us?

So this game was tenser than the other games that we've played against the Arminhos, but only because they managed to score in the same innings that we did. As for the game itself, we started off on the right foot by scoring three runs courtesy of Habibi, Julie, and Farris. If you don't know who they are, then what are you doing reading my blog? Look them up first before plunging further into my musings!

But actually, I think these three are the ones that won the game for us. If it weren't for them, this game would probably have turned into yet another seemingly endless slog of scoreless innings. At least both teams had the decency to score one run each in the fourth and seventh innings to keep everyone focused on the game instead of falling asleep, as recent footage from the last two games of the Revolution showed. But never mind those sleeping people. What mattered was that we took the advantage at the very start of the game, and we kept the pressure on the Arminhos, who couldn't handle the pressure of the do-or-die game and eventually caved under our constant pressure. Jiang Heng and I banked in one run each to keep things interesting, and that was that. All Carlos the Jackal had to do was make a home run to close the proceedings, and that was exactly what he did.

So that's Lisander down and out of the tournament. What's next for us? The Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves. I don't want to say that we're going to get eliminated by the Bat Slaves, but let me just say that they've been a bit of a bogey team for us. You don't know what that means? That means that we've had a very hard time taking them on. We've had a bit of a shaky win-loss record when it comes to that team. But whatever. Your Revolution will fight our best to make sure the Bat Slaves' championship streak is finally ended. But if not, then let's hope either Fratton or Nova Anglicana will stop them. Mind you, if that does happen, I'm betting on Nova Anglicana more than Fratton. The Lions are already proven contenders in the IBS, while the Bumble Bees will probably be quite overwhelmed with reaching the finals of the IBS for the first time. I speak from experience about this.

Anyway, the first game against Gregoryisgodistan will be played in Pervert Chaser NAUSJW Ballpark, and can be seen live on CNN Sports live at 9 AM. This is the Armored Dinner Jacket saying ciao, peace. Catch you in my next post.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Lord Almighty Gregory Declares Remaining IBS Games "Must-See TV"

Lord Almighty Gregory has declared the remaining Gregoryisgodistan games of the International Baseball Slam "must-see TV." Now that the Bat Slaves are through to the semifinal against Abanhfleft, all citizens of Gregoryisgodistan who are not in attendance at the ballgame will be required to watch it on TV. Failure to do so will result in execution of the offender and his family. Even emergency personnel are required to watch - surveillance cameras with new, updated software will automatically make sure you are watching the game and will alert the police if you aren't. They will wait until the end of the game, then dispatch an executioner to execute you. Do not let that happen. If you have a medical emergency, you must wait until the end of the game to attend to it. It's just as well, since all the doctors will be watching the game. If your house catches fire during the game, you must watch it to its conclusion before addressing the fire. Again, it's just as well since all the firefighters will be watching the game.

You are permitted to go to the bathroom during commercial breaks, but not while play is in progress. Failure to comply with this provision will also result in execution of the offender and their family, so do not let it happen. You must watch the games in their entirety or there will be severe punishment, by which we mean death.

In a televised statement, Lord Almighty Gregory said "The Bat Slaves need all the support they can get right now. We must all watch them, in person or on TV, and cheer them on to victory. We must three-peat or it will be absolutely humiliating. We are the greatest team in the history of the International Baseball Slam, and it isn't even close. To lose on our home soil would be utterly embarrassing and I'm not going to let that happen. We are going to win this game. We are truly glorious. We are the best baseball team in the multiverse, and the world needs to see that. That is why everyone in Gregoryisgodistan must watch our next few victories. We will beat Abanhfleft, and then we will beat Nova Anglicana or Fratton to win the trophy thing. I guarantee it. I promise it. If it does not happen, there will be severe consequences for our team, because they failed to obey. Now that they have reached the semifinals, their lives are safe, but they may be severely beaten in a public shaming ceremony if they do not win. Yes, I think that would be a fitting punishment. Their families will be beaten too, even the little kids and babies, and also the old people like grandparents. We must not face the shame of not winning a tournament on our home soil. We must not face the shame of losing to Abanhfleft, Nova Anglicana, or Fratton. We are going to win our sixth International Baseball Slam in seven tries - mark my words. We are going to sweep Abanhfleft most likely, then beat Nova Anglicana or Fratton. Who is Fratton anyway? It sounds like a name for a college fraternity where everyone gets drunk and does stupid stuff. So we will be especially sure to beat Fratton if we play them, but Nova Anglicana is a big rival as well and I hope to beat them if we get the chance. But most importantly, we want to beat whoever wins that series. That is what matters. That way, it means we are playing in the Championship Series and not the stupid toopid third-place series. All the nations will then realize that I am the Lord Your God and will accept me and bow down to me. It is now time for you to bow down to me as well. Please bow now. Thank you. I enjoyed your bowing. It is now time for you to enjoy a TV program dedicated to my awesome glory, as all TV programs in this country are. It will show how I used my God powers to destroy the Kingdom of Costa Luna multiple times. I am Lord, I am God, joy to the world, the stupid Costa Luna is dead! Let's Go Bat Slaves!"

[Nova Anglicana]

Lion's Roar

A SportsWorld Weblog

Lions into Semifinals of IBS VIII
by Alpha Lion



Now that's more like it.

After looking like a thoroughly ordinary team during the group stage, then sneaking past Abidawe to earn the #11 seed, the Nova Anglicana Lions are on a roll. Going back to the last game of the group stage, the Lions have won six games in a row, albeit not against the caliber of opponents they are used to facing. They beat unranked and unrostered Abidawe in the last game of the group and then again in the tiebreaker game, then watched as the Eagles swept #1 seed Estenia, only to fall in two games to #8 seeds and hosts Gregoryisgodistan.

On the Lions' part, Chris Keyes spun seven innings of one-run ball and the Lions scored six runs in the 7th and 8th innings to turn a close game into a blowout, with the Lions defeating the Minecraft Miners Axemen 8-2. "Flick" Barnes hit a bases-clearing double in the 8th to really break the game open. In the second game of the series, things got off to a pretty fantastic start as the Lions batted around against the Axemen hurler, knocking him out of the box and scoring six runs in the process. Lions pitcher Nate Freeman even got in on the action, hitting a soft single to right to score Josh Jennings from second. But then Freeman lost it. He hit a pair of batters and walked a pair of batters in the bottom of the second. These sandwiched around a flurry of hits from the suddenly resurgent Axemen got him to leave the game with a final line of 1.2 IP, 4 H, 5 R, 5 ER, 2 BB, 2 K, 26.95 ERA, 3.59 WHIP. Perry Collins was able to put out the fire and pitch 3.1 scoreless innings. Danny Hauser would pitch two perfect innings, striking out four batters, before Kyle Pauley and Jamey Conroy sealed the deal in the 8th and 9th. The Lions got just three men on base after the first inning, but the superb job by the bullpen made that a nonfactor, as they did not permit an Axeman past second base in 7.1 innings of scoreless relief.

Having survived the Axemen series, the Lions would move on to face another preposterously named squad, the Sword Bloke Thunder. Somehow this team had defeated veterans Milchama in the Round of 16, and now proposed to defeat the Lions. Unfortunately, they revived the tradition of blatantly misspelling our name, calling us "Nova Angelica" and somebody named "Shop Owner" being "confident that the Swordeans can make it all the way." Needless to say, this misguided team learned who was boss in the first game of the quarterfinals. Brad Bryan, who had a tough start in the group stage, bounced back in a big way. He retired the first thirteen batters he saw before SS Jason Mear blooped one into center field to break up the perfect game and the no-hitter. This did not faze him, and he set down the next five batters in order, striking out four of them. He would allow just one more hit and one walk in the rest of the game, turning in a complete-game shutout with ten strikeouts. After leading just 2-0 early (back-to-back bombs by Kelvin Freeman and "Flick" Barnes), Khris Caldwell and Jarrod Novak hit back-to-back two-run doubles in the bottom of the 7th to stretch the lead out to 6-0, and Freeman hit his second homer of the game in the 8th to cap the scoring. Felix Murphy was on the hook for the loss in game 2, having given up two runs in six innings while the Lions had produced zip, but four runs in the bottom of the sixth, with Kareem Al-Aniz's two-run double being the big blow, gave the Lions a lead they would not surrender, and they cruised to the 4-2 win to close out the series.

Elsewhere, Gregoryisgodistan took down Abidawe in two games and the Abanhfleft Revolution survived the Lisander Arminhos in three, setting up a 5-8 semifinal matchup where the seeds are not at all indicative of the strength of the team. Gregoryisgodistan holds the most IBS titles of any team, with five out of the seven Slams so far, while Abanhfleft has burst onto the scene, ranking 6th overall despite this being just their second IBS. It should be a real barnburner in that half of the bracket.

As for the other end? Maybe not so much. The Fratton Bumble Bees are making their IBS debut, and earned the #10 seed and a matchup against Lions group mate Royalsoldiers CB in the Round of 16. After losing the first game 6-2, they bounced back to defeat Royalsoldiers 6-3, 7-6 (scoring the winning run in the top of the 9th). They then played #2 seed Coconut Isle, who bounced baseball giants Super-Llamaland in three games. The Bumble Bees made surprisingly quick work of the high-seeded Dwarfs, defeating them 6-4, and then outlasting them 4-3 in 12 innings. Although Fratton has played well in this Slam, I don't see them defeating the Lions. We're on a roll right now, and if anyone is going to stop us, it's going to be Gregoryisgodistan or Abanhfleft, not a team called the Bumble Bees.

More from Lion's Roar
Transfer Window Recap: Ins and Outs
NAHL gets in on mental health initiative
Gary Hale: TV Analyst

(OOC: Logo at top shamelessly cribbed from Pride of Detroit, Detroit Lions blog. The opinions expressed above are the opinions of the writer and not necessarily indicative of the opinions of Nova Anglicans or the user behind Nova Anglicana.)

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Cutoff for semis day 1

Fratton Bumble Bees       1 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0  3
Nova Anglicana Lions      0 1 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 2  5

GGS-Abanhfleft result to come as soon as Star United States scorinates it.

Sorry for the delay, here it is.

Abanhfleft Revolution             0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 0  3
Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves      1 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1  4

[Abanhfleft]

MUSINGS OF AN ARMORED DINNER JACKET
Official blog of Ibrahim Ahmadinejad, Right Fielder of the Verbergerkinnh Cubs and the Abanhfleft Revolution

ANOTHER LOSS TO START THE SEMIS: ACTUALLY A SIGN OF GOOD THINGS TO COME?


Enemy Crusher Bobby Furgles of the Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves hits the winning home run against the Abanhfleft Revolution in the semifinals of the International Baseball Slam VIII in Pervert Chaser NAUSJW Ballpark, District 27, Gregoryisgodistan. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network Sports Channel/Umkhonto Thabowane)

LIVE FROM DISTRICT 27, GREGORYISGODISTAN - Okay, so we lost yet another game 1 in the IBS, but could it be a sign of better fortunes to come?

Yes indeed, once again, the Revolution squares off against the Bat Slaves, and this time it's winner takes all. Well, not yet really, but game 2 will definitely be as exciting as this first game. Gregoryisgodistan has the advantage coming in thanks to its game 1 victory, but it's still too early to tell if they will let us win one game before taking us out once again, or if their win in game 1 is a sign that we will win the next two games because, well, that's what happened before actually. And twice!

Now, let's get to the game itself. Finely poised on a pencil tip is one way of putting it. The Bat Slaves got an early lead after the shirtmaker guy and the soldier guy scored a run each in consecutive innings. And they were the two first innings to boot! We clawed our way back into the game one run at a time, with Carlos the Jackal scoring at the top of the fifth and Julie equalizing at the top of the seventh, but the grammar enforcer bumped the Bat Slaves' lead back up to 1. Thankfully Habibi scored one more run at the top of the ninth to send the game to extra innings.

Yet all we needed to settle this game was one inning. Who scored the winning run? I wish it was me, but unfortunately it wasn't. It was the big Enemy Crusher, Bobby Furgles himself. Now, the picture above barely does him any justice because the guy is, as we say back in Imgortur, BIG. Like 400 to 800 pounds big. Yeah, that big. Now you know why he's called an Enemy Crusher. I wouldn't want to meet this guy in a dark alley no matter what.

Anyway, to keep things short, he won the game for the Bat Slaves. But maybe that's probably actually a good thing. See, last time we lost game 1, we won the next two games. Will that come true for us next time? Or will this be the first sweep that kicks us out of the tourney once and for all? Tune in to CNN Sports at 9 AM tomorrow to find out. This is the Armored Dinner Jacket saying ciao, peace. Catch you in my next post.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Enemy Crusher Bobby Furgles Hits Walk Off Home Run, Crushes Random Lost Patistani Fans in Celebration

Enemy Crusher Bobby Furgles hit a walk-off home run last night in the International Baseball Slam to win the Bat Slaves' game over Abanhfleft 4-3 in the bottom of the tenth. This sent the fans into a wild, crazy, cheer. They all praised him and cheered him. Well, almost all of them. A few, random, lost Patistani fans who apparently had bought tickets to the semifinal in advance, being so confident Patistan would advance, started heckling Enemy Crusher Bobby Furgles from the stands, calling him fat and ugly. This did not sit well with Enemy Crusher Bobby Furgles, who ran into the stands and crushed all 50 of them all by himself. It was a glorious day for Enemy Crusher Bobby Furgles, earning him 50 crushy kills as well as a walk-off home run. For that, he is named player of the game and making a strong contention for Enemy Crusher of the Month, maybe even Enemy Crusher of the Year. Enemy Crusher Bobby Furgles is a true Gregoryisgodistani hero for his actions, and hopefully he can lead the Bat Slaves to even more wins, including another win over Abanhfleft tonight.

In fact, Enemy Crusher Bobby Furgles guaranteed that he would win the tournament, saying "I guarantee the Bat Slaves are going to win. I'm so confident we'll win, that if we don't win, I'll crush all 500 of my slaves to death and buy 500 new ones with my own money. That's right, I'm putting my money where my mouth is. And my stomach, since these slaves really know how to cook delicious food. I even let them taste test it, since obeying their masters takes priority over the laws banning eating anything but prune juice and gruel for commoners. And I am a government VIP, so I can eat anything I want. Isn't that fancy? I am a government VIP for my loyalty to Lord Almighty Gregory, and I will continue my loyalty, crushing all enemies of the state. All hail Lord Almighty Gregory!"

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Cutoff for Game 2 of semifinals!

Edit: Results

Fratton Bumble Bees       0 0 0 0 2 1 0 1 0  4
Nova Anglicana Lions      0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 2  3
Series Tied 1-1

Abahnfleft Revolution             0 0 0 0 0 1 0 3 0  4
Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves      0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 6  6
Gregoryisgodistan wins series 2-0
(Scorinated by Western Borderlands)

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Cutoff for Game 3 of Nova Anglicana-Fratton!

Edit: Results!

Fratton Bumble Bees       0 0 2 0 0 0 0 0 0  2
Nova Anglicana Lions      0 0 0 0 0 0 0 4 X  4

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Bat Slaves In Championship Series

The Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves have advanced to the Championship Series after sweeping Abanhfleft. The Bat Slaves were down 4-0 heading into the bottom of the ninth, but rallied for a 6-4 win in Game 2 on a walk-off grand slam by Enemy Crusher Bobby Furgles. The fans went absolutely nuts and Enemy Crusher Bobby Furgles celebrated by crushing the umpiring crew from San Jose Guayabal. This made the fans go even wilder and crazier and they were chanting his name for hours.

Meanwhile, Nova Anglicana beat Fratton 2 games to 1, and they will also advance to the finals. It will be a battle of former North American rivals and still very intense rivals who have met numerous times in the IBS and elsewhere. Let's take a look at the most recent times they have faced each other in baseball.

International Baseball Slam VI: In this unusual IBS, the double elimination format held in Noburu Taiyou, the Bat Slaves faced off against Nova Anglicana in the first double elimination round and won 8-2. Enemy Crusher Bobby Furgles hit two home runs and Lumberjack JSUUSI99387 added one as well. Soldier USUALSO pitched a complete game, giving up 2 runs on just 4 hits and no walks. He also struck out 13 batters. Both runs came in the first inning of the game.

World Baseball Classic 29: In the quarterfinals, the Bat Slaves faced off against Nova Anglicana in the Equestrian States, the land of talking ponies. Gregoryisgodistan won the first game 4-2 in the midst of the First Hicanan War, and found out shortly thereafter that the Hicanans had surrendered. In game 2, the Bat Slaves were up 2-0 and six outs away from advancing, and in came Pantsmaker OA01929, who had already blown a late lead against The Fair Republic and was on thin ice. He blew it again, giving up two runs before being yanked and executed. The Bat Slaves would give up another run in the bottom of the ninth and lose 3-2. Nova Anglicana would take Game 3 5-3 and advance.

There are many others as well, especially on the diamond and in ice hockey, but we don't have enough space to print them all. You'll have to take our word for it. Lord Almighty Gregory commands you to.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Cutoff for third-place series and championship series

Edit:

Abanhfleft Revolution      0 5 0 6 0 0 1 0 0 12
Fratton Bumble Bees        0 1 0 1 1 0 0 0 0  3
Abanhfleft leads series 1-0

Gregoryistan Bat Slaves      0 1 0 1 2 0 0 2 1  7
Nova Anglicana Lions         0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1  1
(Scorinated by Northern Sunrise Islands)
Gregoryisgodistan leads 1-0

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Host Announcement: Due to a conflict, cutoff has to be moved to between 10 AM and Noon EDT (UTC-4) between now and Sunday. To allow time to RP, there will be no cutoff today, and Game 2 of the Third Place and Championship Series will be on Friday. In the event the Championship Series goes to a Game 5, cutoff will be at 8 PM - 10 PM again. I apologize for the inconvenience.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Cutoff for Game 2

Edit: Results

Abanhfleft Revolution      3 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0  5
Fratton Bumble Bees        0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1  2
Abanhfleft wins third-place series 2-0

Patistan to post championship results in 5-10 minutes.

[Patistan]

Here you go.

Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves       1 2 1 3 0 1 0 1 1 10
Nova Anglicana Lions               0 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 0  2

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Cutoff for Game 3

Edit: Results

GGS ( Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves)   0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0  2
NAL (Nova Anglicana Lions)            0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1  1
Gregoryisgodistan wins Championship Series 3-0
(Scorinated by Todd McCloud)

That concludes the International Baseball Slam. Thank you to everyone who participated. It was a pleasure to host. Ranks will be up shortly.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

And here there are ranks!