Kalasparatan News (do NOT post here withOUT invite)(IC only)

[Kalasparata]

Hello everyone, here is some of Kalasparata's important news!

20 April 2010
Kalasparata starts World News Program


Unidentified Object falls in Kalasparata from sky in Ipsola only 17km rom Ipsola Central District!. Scientists are trying to discover what it is but can't, this mystrus object killed 400 people, seriously injured 607 people and cause minor injuries to over 1,000 people, destroyed 35 high-rise buildings leaving over 2,000 people job less and home less, this blocked 2 major roads leaving 500 motorists stuck, and blocked a major public railwayline, forcing more people to take the car to work/school. This created peak hour mahem beond belife!. The police are starting to search for clues about who or what did this, even though they have no clue to what caused this, are 90% sure it was a terorist attack and are taping into phone calls and emails of the countries most phycotic terrorists, the teli-ban, given this name because they try to do everything toget rid of telivision, as this destroyed 15 T.V. stations towers, cutting them off. Rescue workers are still trying to rescue people as the death toll rises and the missing person's unit is going crazy with calls. Fire crew are still trying to put the fire.

Kalasparatan rock singer Christy Armthorn releases her new album today. This mega-star's 400th album, Gone Buzerk, hs already sold 50 copies just 3 hours after release! And rapidly selling more!


Updating Sport

Steven Frescoloup, of the Kalasparadio, Airata, President Homer Ipsola Kalaspimals is playing his 300th game of Kalasparatan Rugby League this Friday 7:20pm againts the Kalasparadio All Saints Angels. The game is at Kalasparadio, Airata, President Homer, Duff Beer, Buzz Cola, Sglesika, Elenika Stadium in Ipsola's Central DIstrict with Bays 45-89 already sold out!



The 2010 Kalasparatan Games at Genco City are starting tommoro. The Lord mayor of Genco City, Maria macradinas, is saing "it should be fun with all the tourist flocking to see the anniual games in our city this year. We hope to get as big a turn-out as Ipsola did last year"

[Kalasparata]

Tuesday 20th/Wednesday 21st April 2010
Police have a lead of the mysterius item that fell in Ipsola yesterday, that the item was from a terrorist attack. The police are still trying to find out who caused the attack. Buildings are being re-built, 90% of people were found and rescued and the T.V. stations destroyed are going to other places temperarally and getting back on air! The authorites managed to clean up the mess and debris!

Updating Sport
Today the Kalasparatan Games start in Genco City. The Lord Mayor of Genco City, the State Premier of Genco, the Prime Minister of the Shimaratan Colony and the President of Kalasparata all say that it should be great and the Lord Mayor of Ipsola has handed over the torch to the lord Mayor oif Genco City

[Kalasparata]

Sunday 2nd/Saturday 1st May 2010
The debris from the terrorist attack has cleared and Ipsola was re built Thanks to GUSTAV AG And it has never been better!

[Kalasparata]

Monday 10/Tuesday 11 MAy 2010

Today an 8 meter tall truck drove into a 4 meter tall tunnel with a hight clearence warning of 3.8 meters. This has caused a lot of traffic, delay, thousands of kalaspis of damage and closure of the tunnel for atleast 24hrs. It has caused traffic to be stuck atleast 2km on a 18 laned 9per side) floor of a 3 story road. There has also been alot of caos caused, cars are stranded, leaving alot of people late for flights, work and school. Everyone stranded will get a free taxi ride paid by the truck driver. Police are still trying to figure out why the truck driver couldn't use a floor with a taller tunnel which is also wider and has less traffic with the same speed limits. The truck driver will get an on the spot fine of 50000000000000000000000000000000000000000000kalaspi and an on the spot 10 year imorisonment. A court case will be held next week to see what should be done



In Rugby League match today the Klishma Computers verses the Mutyratryuipolopolpoloplous Geraffs, a drunk fan got into fight with a supporter just because his team lost on the weekend. This was a huge punch-up causing 300 casualitys. The unarmed man had to be tazored 69 times by the police before he finnaly decided to obey them. He got an on-the-spot 23 year imprisonment. There will be a court case next week to decide his fate. It is very unfortunate that he is only 21 years old! The government will be considering a total alcahol ban at sporting events. Police are still trying to identify him

The Kalasparatan Federal Elections are coming Up with all canidets getting ready and hoping not to lose again this month

[Kalasparata]

Friday 14/ Saturday 15 May 2010 Anti Dominian

Kalasparatan News starts using Anti Dominian in news dates.

At this week's Kalasparatan Games, Genco City Zebras verses the Ipsola Kalaspimals a 14 year old drunk fun from the losing team, Emma Ferd, from the Zebras, bashed a train in Ipsola. She destroyed the lights. The police caught her and gave her an automatic 45 year inprisonment and 72 hrs hard labour. She soon escaped and destroyed the entire side of the train by setting alite.Fire Brigades came and evacuated everyone. The police re-cuaght the unarmed girl and shot in her in the legs so she couldn't escape. 40 year old police officer, Dick Asskiss will recive a medal for his quick thinking of shooting her in the leg. She well now be getting a definate minium of life in prison plus 567 hours cleaning up trains. She will also get a hole drilled in her back all the way into until we reach the spine. A court case will be held next to see if it's too soft. The 14 year old is now under strict supervision and cleaning graffity off trains in her maximum security prison.

In other news: 2 people have tried to escape from a minimum secureity prison in Ipsola. They managed to get passed the security guards and dogs, past the big 90 degree wall, past the 1000 buring lazors but when they got to the barbed wire electric fence, the 12kW shock managed to knock them out for 3 hours. Police say, we need to touhen up our security in minium security prisons, whilst others argue, it doesn't matter, it's only a minimum security prison, maxium security prison are what you have to look at. An election will be held to determin that

The Kalasparatan Monthly Federal Elections tommoro. The canadents are all hoping to win.

kalasparata plans to divide by zero

[Kalasparata]

Wednesday 26/Thursday 27 May 2010 210th Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian

Kalasparadio Antimatter World has started to sell rights for coping it's patten. Thousands of people have already bought rights! We now sell antimatter in a can

We now sell fridges that keep food hot

[Kalasparata]

Friday 28/Saturday 29 May 2010 210th Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian
Kalasparata gets a new flag!
"It's exactly like the old flag but only glossy" says citizen Joseph Ni "I like it! "
"Damnb, what was wrong with the old one, it was there for thousands of years and we shoulod have never changed it!" says ex-polootiton George W Bus

We start adding World Time Map to News

[Kalasparata]

Saturday 29/ Sunday 30 May 2010 210th Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian
We changed our flag again
The new flag was designed by Hassett
Our New flag is now

We are really greatful to Hassett

[Kalasparata]

Sunday 30/Monday 31 May 2010, 202nd Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian

Kalasparatan News figures out the real decade and appologises for using the wrong one
"We will edit all wrong dates says news editer, Luke Dunny"

A 17 year old girl, Helen Ret at Kreut Shool, a school in Kalasparata peed herself today after a 16 year-old girl, Korrina Ferfgrty blocked from going to the toilet because she wouldn't give her money

"I would've made it" says Helen "You know if she wasn't blocking me"
"I needed money and she wouldn't give me any" says Korrina "I was starving and my parents didn't have any money to give me"

Korrina was forced to hand wash Helens cloaths and charged a 45000 kalaspi fine. She will face court tommoro

A 9 year old girl, Christina Kristina bashed a 13 year old boy, John Fret today at Kreut School today
"She just came out and bashed him for no reason" says Bobby Randomname, a witness, it was terrible, brutel and John was almost hospitalised"
Christina is now hanging upside down gewtting suringes put into her eyes. She will face court tommoro

Kruet school was closed down today after these two problems. The government is trying to find out how is responsible for letting them happpen. The school will re-open as soon as the sack the staff who is/are responsible for letting it happen

"Good" says angry parent, Georgia Serf, "About time we cracked down on bulling!, I praise the government!"
"My humble little school" says Dean Tripallis, the principle "It's not our fault the bulling happened, we can't be everywhere at once!, What do you expect us to do?"
The government is now looking at putting up video cameras with sound around all schools in Kalasparata


In other news today,
200 kilograms of gold has been found in Ipsola and mining companies are racing to it.
"This will be good for the economy of our miners" says Renos Reret, a politition "Thank God our capitalist president abolished taxs and made the tax rate flat! This will be good for our economy as the major companies can pay shares and it will provide more jobs.

[Kalasparata]

Monday 31 May/Tuesday 1/Wednesday 2 June 2010, 202nd Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian

Grandais declares war on Kalasparata and Kalasparata agrees

[Kalasparata]

Wednesday 2nd/ Thursday 3rd June 2010 202nd Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian
Kalasparata is still at war with Grandais! We have lost 1000 men and women and they have lost 80. There was a tornado and we called a 3 hour cease fire, there all over now!

We have just read Grandais Newsand they're slandering us! Lets go recruite for the army boys and girls, did I mention, war veterins get special treatment. Go Enlist! Show those commies what capitalists can go! Are we gunna let a bunch of commies invade OUR land on our turf! NO! Let's go show them what we're made of!
Since the war DIRECTLY involves us, we might be issueing conscription soon, but for now we don't need to!
The red commies must be destroyed !!!

[Kalasparata]

Friday 4th/Saturday 5th June 2010 202nd Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian

Kalasparatan World News...English Version

Today in Kalasparata the war between Kalasparata and Grandais gets worse so Kalasparata needed to call in foreign troops and aid. As the number of troops and resources runs low, and as the war directly affects Kalasparata, we have hit rock bottom and have enforced conscription! Every healthy man and woman in Kalasparata between the ages of 16 and 50 must enlist in the army. We normally don't enforce conscription but desperate times call for desperate measures. We feel really bad about it.

This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio, Fret Shoping Center, Souvlaki Lemonaki, Dertas Will Kits, Frederakson Funerals, Twelve Dozen Zoo and Kalasparadio Antimatter World

[list=]Exeptions apply to:
[*]KES (Kalasparatan Emergency Service) (including hospital Workers)
[*]Nucing Home and Daycare Workers
[*]School/University/Collage Teachers
[*]CEOs of Large and/or Multi-National Coperations
[*]People Too Unhealthy
[*]One Person per House if hthe house hold has somene who needs to be looked after
[*]Orthodox Christian (and only Orthodox) religious workers (although some will be moved to the war zones)
[*]lawers and judges
[*]Some Polotitions (though most do)
[*]Tourists
[*]POWs
[/list]
Everyone else who is not too young nor too old will have to fight. Even most polotitions.
Everyone in the Central Democratic Republic with visas as well as citizenships will fight

This News Brught to you by Kalasparadio
"We appologise" says President Stellios Cityrailsaints, as he is getting ready to fight "We must fight, even I'm fighting!, the deputy will be in-charge, you must fight for your land"



A 9 year old girl, (Jessica Gret) Got a 4 year jail term today after steeling a 14 year old boy's (Trent Gref) text book at school today, resulting him in being late to class for the 3rd time this week causing him to get an a detention an hour after school today.
"I wouldn't have been late today if I didn't get my book stolen" says Trent "sure, she need a copy too, but why should I get in-troubole for something that's her own problem, I need it too and I brought it whilst she didn't, why should I be dis-benifeted?" And that was good enough for the judge. Trent will not be facing his after school detention. Jessica had everything she owned ceased and given to Trent, unfortunatly she doesn't own enough.

This News Bought to you by Kalasparadio

Because Jessica pleaded guilty and admitting she would've returned it after the lesson she will not face any more consiquences. Unfortunatly for Jessica, there is a war that directly effects Kalasparata, she fill be forced to fight, but fortunatly for her, she is under 16 and is not a murder so will allow her weapons

This News Brought to you by Airata
In other news, a drunk driver on the road, (John Gregory) who had a BAC of 0.007 has killed an un-born baby of Katerina and Jodh Freturgle in a car crash on Odos Avenue in Ipsola today and police say it's not the first time has done it. He has been hung upside down with his arms cut off and will be facing 98 years in prison
"Well you know he laws on drink driving" says Police officer Violet Ashley

This News Brought to your by TwelveDozen Zoo
In other news all criminals who are between the age of 16-50 and all killers will be forced to fight un-armed in the army due to the war, who ever makes it back will have to face the rest of the term. They will all be left there till they die or the war is over, whichever comes first. Everyone who is too young or too old to meet this requirment and is not a killer will be given weapons, rembering that this parograph only applies to prisinors!

This News Brought to you by President Homer Soft Drink!

A new supermarket chain, Gretert, has expanded out of it's small Ipolan shell out to the rest of the nation! It has become huge! It is building and expanding all over the country!

This News Brought to you by Egglesos Computer Key Boards
In other news, Kalasparatan World News got a new logo and some sponcers. Now we have more money to fix it up and improve it. This will start happening from the next news articals.

That was Kalasparatan News. Thank You

[Kalasparata]

Saturday 5th/Sunday 6th/Monday 7th June 2010 202nd Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian

Kalasparatan World News...English Version
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio, Airata, Kalasparadio, President Homer Soft Drinks, Kalasparadio, Egglesos Computer Key Boards, Kalasparadio, Fret Shoping Center, Kalasparadio, Kalaspatv, Kalasparadio, Souvlaki Lemonaki, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio, Dertas Will Kits, Kalasparadio, Frederakson Funerals, Kalasparadio, Twelve Dozen Zoo, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio Antimatter World and Kalasparadio

Today in Kalasparata, Helen Notik, the Kalasparatan President Cop, lost her job today, after not allowing Jason Kresdop to buy her house because he was black. "I can't help what skin colour I am" says Jason "It's not my fault"
News By Kalasparadio
"No, I didn't not sell it to him because he was black" says Helen without giving a reason, she will face court tommoro. She has been replaced with Taylor Stellios, a black person.
News By Airata
The war against the socialists at Grandias is not coming to an end and we are desperate need for more troops!
News By President Homer Soft Drinks
That was Kalasparata news
News by Kalasparadio and Egglesos Computer Key Boards

[Kalasparata]

Sunday 6th/Monday 7th June 2010 202nd Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian

Kalasparatan World News...English Version
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio, Airata, Kalasparadio, President Homer Soft Drinks, Kalasparadio, Egglesos Computer Key Boards, Kalasparadio, Fret Shoping Center, Kalasparadio, Kalaspatv, Kalasparadio, Souvlaki Lemonaki, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio, Dertas Will Kits, Kalasparadio, Frederakson Funerals, Kalasparadio, Twelve Dozen Zoo, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio Antimatter World and Kalasparadio

The war against the red commies at Grandais is finally over!
With all of our soldiers and conscripts happly back

News By Kalasparadio"I miss my daughter" says the soldier in the photo above, John Hadfarm "I'm so glad I can see her again"
"We have finally finished fighting the communists, we didn't win, but we didn't loose either!" says conscript Greg Ory
"Home Sweet Home!" shoutes conscript Kim My "Yes, I miss my bed!"
News By Airata!
"My wife and 21 year old son died" says Dim Mitri, a soldier who is a husband and father of conscripts "And my daughter is in hospital, this war was terrible, my best friend is in !"
Tommoro, there will be a mourning service for the lost soldiers. The roads are closed in every major city to welcome them home. Today will be a new public holiday, Kalasparata Day!

Our President, Stellios Cityrailsaints, is fine, and since he won the election, he will return to his duty tommoro!
News by President Homer Soft Drinks and Kalasparadio!
That was Kalasparatan World News. Thank You!
News By Kalasparadio

[Kalasparata]

Friday 11th/Saturday 12th/Sunday 13th June 2010 202nd Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian

Kalasparatan World News...English Version
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio, Airata, Kalasparadio, President Homer Soft Drinks, Kalasparadio, Egglesos Computer Key Boards, Kalasparadio, Fret Shoping Center, Kalasparadio, Kalaspatv, Kalasparadio, Souvlaki Lemonaki, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio, Dertas Will Kits, Kalasparadio, Frederakson Funerals, Kalasparadio, Twelve Dozen Zoo, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio Antimatter World and Kalasparadio

Today The Republic of Wikipedia and Universe and Kalasparata agreed to contribute with eachother with our news. We will allow Wikipedia and Universe to contribute their world newshere
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio and Airata[/align]
"We are really greatful to now have world news" says Minister of Foreign Affairs, John Trevos "Now we get to have world news"
Kalasparata changes the flag again!
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio

"I like it" says Christian Referanos, a citizen
"I don't, geez, we change our flag every week, can't we just decide on one" says Fred Dres, and other citizen
News by President Homer Soft Drinks
After 25 years of controversy, crime and terrorism, Kalasparata, after several terrorist attacks, has finally reached a disiton to brutally ban some types of Muslim headware
News by Kalasparadio
Today, A really small yet really powerfull bomb was droped in Ipsola Central District, the CBD of our capital city, killing over 4 Million people, perminatly injuring over 6 Million and hospitalising 9 Million and temporarily injuring over 11 Million civilians and killing all the politicians, including:local, state, territorial, sub-national and federal as they were all in Ipsola for there annual meeting. This leaves noone in-charge of any part of Kalasparata and the whole nation is out of control.

News by Von Vovi Cars
The whole nation is out-of-control. There is a TMG (Temporary Military Government) in place. The military Promised democrasy once order is restored. There are fires, bombs, antimatter-matter collisions. The death toll from the riots has just hit 2 Million and is rapidly increasing.
"It's horrible" says Terrified citizen and mother of 2, Stela Fredstone. They set the house our house on fire whilst we were sleeping"
News by Yong Thongs
"My son, John, didn't escape in time and his leg got burnt off, they rushed him to the hospital and he was told he'll have to spend the night there. Half an hour after he arrived, they blew the hopital up, now the nurces are trying to see if my son is alive, we need order". Police are restoring order and have traced the terrorist attack back to one thing...the muslim burqa, as the infamous male terrorist, Kres Krestena, wore a burqa, fooling everyone that he was a woman
News by Kalasparatan Rugby League
he went into a public toilet with the bomb hidden in his burqa and wated for it to explode, he died in the prosess. The riots have now ended, with democrasy being restored. The grandson of our late President, Stellios Cityrailsaints, has become President, his name also being Stellios Cityrailsaints has finally had enough of the muslim burqa and has descided to hold a referendum about it with the results ending up with a full ban on some types of muslim headscarfs and anyone who refuses to obey, will be exiled with a cannon, with no warning, nor wll they be allowed in. This law will be in place as of tommoro. You are allowed to wear the headscarf under certain conditions
1.We must be able to see your face
2.We must be able to see if your a man or woman
3.We must be able to see your head/hair through it
News By The Petroleum Mine Petrol
"About bloody time!" says angry bank worker "Do you know how many times I was held up by one of them, covering his/her face and pretending to be muslim? Thank God the government has finally decided to do something about it!"
"Good, you know when we go into there country they make us put on cloaths, so why can't we make them take it off?" asks excited female citizen, Nicholet Nerzora "About time!"
"YESSS! " screams excited male police officer Frank Frenk "You know how many fights I have gotten in with muslims wome about seeing her driver licence photo?"
"Yeay!" says a muslim woman "Now I can stop being presured to wear it!"
However on the other hand, not everyone is happy:
News By The Greenest Grosser Green Grossers
A bunch of muslims started a revolution to re-allow the burqa, destroying 30 houses and killing 100 people, but being the super minority, they failed after an hour as there were more police than protesters.
News By Airata
The TV, Trade ya'spuce,where you traded spouses with an oposite family for a week to win 500,000 kalaspi, but with a surprise twist, the other spouce gets to choose where the money goes got suied today by the Brian family. They now have to pay each contestant who was on it 2 Million kalaspi each and all the senior manages are each spending 20 years in prison and being forced to be each families slave working for free, for 2000 hours per familyk, on demand.
"We didn't know that they other family got choose how we spend the money. I had to spend a week with someone I hated for money, but instead of me getting the money, some idiot from the other family got to choose how to spend it and chose what's right for MY family. That's not fair, instead of getting the cash I deserve, I was forced by the television program to do something decied by a complete stranger so the money doesn't go to waste...stuff our family really hated and thast boared us" says John Brian, father of the Brian family. The government will give the Brian family a medal and 2,000,000kalaspi reward for informing the public
News By Souvlaki Lemonaki
Re construction has started in Ipsola CD.
"We need it bigger and better than ever!" says, Jaso Derfogal leader of Herzorito Construction Company "Lets build, with the help of millions of people, we can give the millions of homeless a place to live again, and we can home more, we need it bigger and much better designed than last time, if we move at the rate that I'd like to move at, we'll have a roof over most of their heads, and jobs for the unemployed who lost their jobs in the terrible disaster!"
"We need a better public transport, road and canal systems" says angry commuters who used to work in Ipsola Central Distict
(ICD)
News By Kalasparadio
"For a start, we need an ICD metro line, more train stations, more, bigger, taller, wider, longer roads, more canals, more teleportation boths, more bus transit ways, more space shuttle ports, more ferry transit ways, a newer monorail system, a neweright rail system, more personal tram-traintracks, more maglev lines, more helibus lines, more heliplane routes, more plane routes, more bus/trolley bus/guided bus lines, a brand newer, more modern Inter-Regional travel center, more taxi ranks, more taxi-bus routes, more light metro routes, more skyrail routes, more automated people movers, more personal/group rapid transit system, hovercraft lines, hovercraft roads, more cycle ways, more motor-bike lanes, more bike lanes, more open air space for flying transport and more, other misculanous transport routes, says transportation company owner, Greg Freseraloop
News by Kalasparadio
That was Kalasparatan World News. Thank You!
News By Kalasparadio

[Kalasparata]

Tuesday 15th/Wednesday 16th/Thursday 17th June 2010 202nd Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian

Kalasparatan World News...English Version
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio, Airata, Kalasparadio, President Homer Soft Drinks, Kalasparadio, Egglesos Computer Key Boards, Kalasparadio, Fret Shoping Center, Kalasparadio, Kalaspatv, Kalasparadio, Souvlaki Lemonaki, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio, Dertas Will Kits, Kalasparadio, Frederakson Funerals, Kalasparadio, Twelve Dozen Zoo, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio Antimatter World and Kalasparadio

This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio and Airata[/align]
Today in Kalasparata was the LAST day for everyone wearing prohibited muslim headscarfs to pack up and leave, the exiles will come after today. Some have packed up and are out of here but most have taken it off...forever.
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio
Ipola Central District has gone quite a bit of a way, when the first road, Kalasparadio ICD Road 0001 opens today. The road is 6 floors high with 40 lanes per floor per direction, on the narrowest floor. Each floor is 10m high exept for the top floor, which is obviouly goes up all the way to the sky
"It's still in Grid-lock, even though the peak hour traffic is running in the opposite direction" says road owner and CEO of Kalasparadio, Luke Kalasparadio "It is really, really great and the traffic will clear after more roads open"

News by President Homer Soft Drinks
The first buildings are also getting put up, with over 1 Million people living there already, and 900% more dying to move in
News by Kalasparadio
The Kalasparatan Anti Discrimination Board closed down a school for discriminating against non-soccer fans for having a "Anyone who wears a soccer jersey of any team, doesn't have to do work but everyone else does". Unfortunatly, not everybody suports soccer, with over a MASSIVE 5% complaining!
News by Von Vovi Cars
The government has desided to gather up all the physocotic people in Kalasparata and convince them to become
30% of all prison wardens. We do this because physcotic people need someone to hurt and the prisoners need to be punished
News by Yong Thongs
A group of sailors from anoter country got lost in Kalasparatan seas. Because they were in our waters, if they were even just 1 cm out, no help from us, whilst if they were our sailors, the same rule applies
News by Kalasparadio, Kalasparatan Rugby League, The Petroleum Mine Petrol
News By The Greenest Grosser Green Grossers, Souvlaki Lemonaki and Kalasparadio
That was Kalasparatan World News. Thank You!
News By Kalasparadio

[Kalasparata]

Saturday 19th/Sunday 20th June 2010 202nd Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian

Kalasparatan World News...English Version
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio, Airata, Kalasparadio, President Homer Soft Drinks, Kalasparadio, Egglesos Computer Key Boards, Kalasparadio, Fret Shoping Center, Kalasparadio, Kalaspatv, Kalasparadio, Souvlaki Lemonaki, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio, Dertas Will Kits, Kalasparadio, Frederakson Funerals, Kalasparadio, Twelve Dozen Zoo, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio Antimatter World and Kalasparadio

This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio and Airata[/align]
Today, Odos Ave, Ipsola Central District's 1st nationalised roads since the terrorist attack has opened today
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio
"How can the government afford to fund the road?, they spend all the money funding companies, like this one, the one I work for, Kalasparata's Largest Company, Kalasparadio, giving more money to our CEO" questions radio DJ of Kalasparadio, Kim Heralod.
"Yeay! Screams socialist Indiana Johns "About time, Kalasparata is too privitised
News by President Homer Soft Drinks
The Kalasparadio Kalasparata Building has been complete again. Almost everything is back to normal in Ipsola Central District (ICD)
[0size=150]News by Kalasparadio[/size]
Everyone covering their face has been exiled out of Kalasparata, having shot 345 people already out of a cannon
News by Von Vovi Cars
"The fun part was shooting them out" says police officer, Jim MY
News by Yong Thongs
Acountants are getting alot of work since it's nearly 1st July, the begging of the finacial year
News by Kalasparadio, Kalasparatan Rugby League, The Petroleum Mine Petrol
Kalasparata will start adding the date of the Macidonian Calander in our news since there was alot of controversy with-in the country, as it is the 2nd official calander
News By The Greenest Grosser Green Grossers, Airata, President Homer Soft Drinks Souvlaki Lemonaki and Kalasparadio
That was Kalasparatan World News. Thank You!
News By Kalasparadio

[Kalasparata]

Saturday 26th/Sunday 27th/Monday 28th June 2010 202nd Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian

Kalasparatan World News...English Version
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio, Airata, Kalasparadio, President Homer Soft Drinks, Kalasparadio, Egglesos Computer Key Boards, Kalasparadio, Fret Shoping Center, Kalasparadio, Kalaspatv, Kalasparadio, Souvlaki Lemonaki, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio, Dertas Will Kits, Kalasparadio, Frederakson Funerals, Kalasparadio, Twelve Dozen Zoo, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio Antimatter World and Kalasparadio

This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio and Airata
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio
"The rest of the world is HOSTILE says citizen, Jess Ica"
"Not again, I still haven't gotten over the war with Grandais" says soldier Dimi Tri
News by President Homer Soft Drinks
The entire Ipsola Central Distric is complete!
News by Kalasparadio
Kalasparata will privitise every nationalised thing in the country, after the Referendum, "The Kalasparadio Airata Privatisation Referendum"
The results of the Referendum were as follows:
75%-Yes
25%-No
News by Von Vovi Cars
Adultery has been made illegal in Kalasparata after 20 years of debate and a referendum
News by Yong Thongs
Since the end of the finacal year is drawing in, everyone is running around trying to find accountants
News by Kalasparadio, Kalasparatan Rugby League, The Petroleum Mine Petrol
Kalasparata will start adding the date of the Macidonian Calander in our news since there was alot of controversy with-in the country, as it is the 2nd official calander-this promise was unforfiled as we had troubles finding a Julian Calander
News By The Greenest Grosser Green Grossers, Airata, President Homer Soft Drinks Souvlaki Lemonaki and Kalasparadio
Kalasparata will now be more caravan friendly as more and more people are choosing to live on the road
News By News By Fredricson Real Estate
The numbers are increasing every day for people who wish to live on the road. They're soring through the roof!'
"Good" says CEO of Von Voi, a car company "I'll be getting more business"
"No!" screams CEO Of News By Fredricson Real Estate "There goes our business!"
Things that will make the country more caravan friendly are:
*More RV car parks
*Caravan/RV only lanes on roads
*Taller drive throughs at Fast Food chains
*More Electric Pools for RVs to charge their batteries
*More shiping routes both overseas and through Kalasparata for people tom travel from the comfort and safety of their own homes
*A mail/post system for those in RVs
*More shops in the middle of no where for RVs
*RVs being recognised as offical veichals
*Dishwashers, washing machines, ovens, hot fridges and dryers in RVs
*Wider roads to acomidate for the RVs
*More jobs that can be done from home and more home home schooling programs
*RVs being recognised as official perminate residentsMore RV friendly things in Kalasparata

A resturant has been closed down today after a compition was riged
News Tredfersamoniaticla Recreational Marijuana
It was a raffle with 500 prizes to be won, at the Food Resturaunt, where one of which went ro an inside member a was riged
"It should never have been closed down" says ex-employee the resturant "It was only 1/500, now I don't have a job!"
"That prize could have gone to someone else" says a contestant who won nothing "So don't get me started with your 1/500 crap!"
The CEO was the one who riged it. He will be facing 90 years in prison and a 500,000,000,000,000 fine, the inside person, who had no idea the contest was rigged, will keep her prize and that prize will also be re-drawn with a refund to everyone who partisipated, weather they won anything or not and everyone who worked there will be given another job in other resturants in an exact/higher poosition with an exact/higher pay
News By Kalasparadio
That was Kalasparatan World News. Thank You!
News By Kalasparadio

[Kalasparata]

Tuesday 6th/Wednesday 7th June 2010 202nd Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian

Kalasparatan World News...English Version
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio, Airata, Kalasparadio, President Homer Soft Drinks, Kalasparadio, Egglesos Computer Key Boards, Kalasparadio, Fret Shoping Center, Kalasparadio, Kalaspatv, Kalasparadio, Souvlaki Lemonaki, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio, Dertas Will Kits, Kalasparadio, Frederakson Funerals, Kalasparadio, Twelve Dozen Zoo, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio Antimatter World and Kalasparadio

This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio and Airata
In todays news, we have a vegimite explosion, a car crash, a workers strike, a new city, a bully, and the Ipsola Kalspimals loosing to the Regi Kalaspi trees wih other little news events in-between
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio
Today, in Ipsola, a whole house blew up because of exploding vegimite. It had blech in it and got set on fire. It killed 40 people who were there for a party
" "says a random citizen Reg Trelop
"Hmm, good and cheap idea for a weapon" says Army Geheral, John Ohti
"It was iSnack" says a random next door neighbour who saw the explosion
News by President Homer Soft Drinks
The rest of the relatives and friends are crying at the loss
"Who in there right mind would put bleech with vegimite then set it on fire" says leader of the sceptics club of Kalasparata, John Grean "If your that dumb, you deserve to die, but I do feel sorry for the other 39 people though!"
"That horrible, horrible fate, very uh... very painful way to...uh, very painful way to die, yes, very painful way to die, not much common scene though" says a random tourist who hardly speeks neither greek nor english but really, really wanted a say
News by Kalasparadio
Today an idiot comited suicide today by driving like a spactic and crashing into 5 cars directly and 10 in-directly, 15 all up, and killing 70 people whilst screaming "All in the name of vegimite!" Since he had no money, his family had to sell their posetions as compensaion, all though there will be a court case

News by Von Vovi Cars
"I ubderstand how everyone must be payed, however it is not the families fault, maybe the goverment should pay but that is not fair on the tax payers...I don't know what to do!" says the judge "...hmm!"
News by Yong Thongs
The finacial year has started with all the big celebrations dieing down after 5 days!
News by Kalasparadio, Kalasparatan Rugby League, The Petroleum Mine Petrol
Today, in Ipsola, there was a huge workers strike for yong thongs. A few people were being trested as slaves and working 12 hours for only 500 kalaspi. Greg Yong, the CEO was sacked, got a 40 year imprisonment and replaced by Tony Chong-Yong
News By Duff Beer
"I'll treat the employees with respect" says Tony Chong-Yong. "Like 600 kalaspi for 8 hours!"
The employees are still protesting until they find out Tony's policy.
"NOOOOOO!" says Greg. "That was my great great great grandfathers company and his great, great, great grandfathers company before that after he won it in a war! "
News By The Greenest Grosser Green Grossers, Airata, President Homer Soft Drinks Souvlaki Lemonaki and Kalasparadio
The treasurer, Jimmy U, lost his and got a 12 year imprisonment today for breaking one of his promises. After a democratic election, by the citizens, he was replaced by his grandson with the same name
News By News By Fredricson Real Estate

The Kalasparadio Airata President Homer Souvlaki Lemonaki Ipsola Kalaspimals lost to the Duff Beer Regi Kalaspi trees 34-9 in a Rugby League team. And coach Fred Stevens isn't happy. We caught up with bhim in the dressing room "We played like --CENCORED FOR NATIONS WITH CONTENT RATING SYSTEMS--, everyone gets 5 times extra training this week! We scored 1 try, 1 goal and 1 field goal...IN A WHOLE 80 MINUTES!, next week during the Tredfersamoniaticla half time break, you'll be training! Do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME!?"
News Tredfersamoniaticla Recreational Marijuana
"It wasn't our fault" states CEO Steven Stresn of of the Kalaspimals "It was the stupid referees' faults!, the crappy refs were Stella Derfinga and Christian Christopher, espesically Stella's"
"Sew her! " says Chairman, Kalasparadio presents Olivia Fred whilst overhearing that it was the refs fault "Sew her for all she's got! Yes, yes!"
"Or we could just give her an eye test" says a Kalaspimals supporter. I flew all the way to Regi, which is 500km away, to go see my team get penalties against us every 2 --CENCORED FOR NATIONS WITH CONTENT RATING SYSTEMS-- second! I am furious! She will be paying my airfare and accomidation and my souvinere money!"
News By Kalasparadio
That was Kalasparatan World News. Thank You!
News By Kalasparadio

[Kalasparata]

SuTuesday 20th/Wednesday 21st July 2010 202nd Decade, 21st Century, 3rd Millenium Anti Dominian-Gregorian Calander

Kalasparatan World News...English Version
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio, Airata, Kalasparadio, President Homer Soft Drinks, Kalasparadio, Egglesos Computer Key Boards, Kalasparadio, Fret Shoping Center, Kalasparadio, Kalaspatv, Kalasparadio, Souvlaki Lemonaki, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio, Dertas Will Kits, Kalasparadio, Frederakson Funerals, Kalasparadio, Twelve Dozen Zoo, Kalasparadio, Kalasparadio Antimatter World, Kalasparadio, A Kiwi Film Productions, Kalasparadio, Vegimite, Kalasparadio, Pine-Apple Juice and Kalasparadio

This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio and Airata
In todays news, we have a bus/train crash, some new Ipsolan roads, offical new welfare payment for monastries and a law siewt
This News Brought to you by Kalasparadio
Today, in Ipsoa, there was a major bus and train collision at the railway crossing where the nations biggest road meets the biggest train line
"Bloody stupid capitalist government", says left-winged citizen John-Paul Oung "If we didn't privatise the roads, then the government would not put a railway crossing, but put a railway bridge on the most important railway line and road in the country, maybe we wouldn't be in complete grid-lock! Also, centralising everything is a stupider idea!
News by President Homer Soft Drinks
In Kalasparadio[/b][/size]
The bus, which was driving legally broke down at the gates a few minutes before the lights had been going off, so she rung the company. Then the train, which was going so fast and so far, couldn't stop...
News by Yong Thongs
So the train driver of this 100 carriaged passanger train, who pressed his break so fast from a kilometer away, had still hit the bus, killing 70 people, and injuring over 2000. The bus company, which is meant to maintain the buses every day, was sewed for 1000 Million kalaspi. With all the money going to the families who were affected as compensation
News by Kalasparadio, Kalasparatan Rugby League, The Petroleum Mine Petrol
The Kalasparatan government has introduced a new welfare payment. A payment to all monks and nuns who live on a monastery. But only to the Orthodox Christian monasterys. No other religions, including other forms of Christianity, will not get the payment.
News By Duff Beer
"I feel really bad taking the tax paers money who are still in socity" says a nun, sis. Robeca Orederfly "but we need this money to buy food and other nessesities, and since we don't work nor pay taxes, it's really wrong, and a sin, to take the nice tax payers money, but we need it to survive!"
News By The Greenest Grosser Green Grossers, Airata, President Homer Soft Drinks Souvlaki Lemonaki and Kalasparadio
Because of this welfare payment, many monks and nuns agree with sis. Robeca Orederfly so they are starting to grow their own food and drink.
News By News By Fredricson Real Estate

News Tredfersamoniaticla Recreational Marijuana
Today in Kalaspara, the biggest news paper company in the nation, krishes' news prints, came down after a law siewt. A writer in the news paper defamed a Kalasparatan Rugby Lueage team, the Resfortilap Bears who are at the top of the ladder and are coming first andd are 10 points, in other words, 5 games , clear of second place, have only 4 games left till the finals
News By A Kiwi Film Production
But this ain't good enough for the Krishes' News Prints coperation. A writer sayed in the paper "I won't talk about them now, I'll wait till they chocke in the finals" This means that he will not praise them, only critisise them and he's a making a prediction, with no evidecnce, he'll wait for them to fail.
News by Airata
A Beers fan, who brought the paper, got realy affended by the comment so he went to complain to the paper. They laughed in his face, so he took it futher. He took it to court, where they cared
so they disided to investigate it. they found out that all articals go through 15 editers and the CEO, Chairman and the rest of the board of directors, which then the judge spoke to. The CEO laughed in her face, so they had a case, with a different judge. The company went bust as they had to pay 1 Million kalaspi to the fan, 500,000 to the team and the Kalasparatan Rugby Lueage, which they owned half of, kiked them out, they lost all their shares in the Kalasparatan government and weren't allowed to buy anymore! All the people involved got a notice on their criminal recod, with some facing prison and others finding it hard to get a job, whilst the government told the othe rcoperations who wasn't involved and tried to get them jobs.
News By Kalasparadio
That was Kalasparatan World News. Thank You!
News By Kalasparadio

[Barbiebedia]

here is peace, no war, no drugs, just life in love:)