World Lacrosse Championship XIX [Everything Thread]

[Taeshan]

For the First Time in a long time we present The Taeshan Lacross Team

Starters
#12 Goalie Adam Richard
#22 Left Defense Joseph Connors
#30 Center Defense Aimes Freemont
#5 Right Defense Jacob Jeffries
#11 Left Midfield Asher Cole
#14 Center Midfield Jacoby Qwarant
#15 Right Midfield Oliver Draco
#4 Left Attack Adam Silverwing
#44 Center Attack Blaise Fasnacht
#92 Right Attack Johnathan Chesnut


Bench
#1 Goalie Tyler Parsons
#50 Defender Jamie Drew
#2 Defender Isaac Kelly
#40 Midfielder Andy Clairmont
#10 Midfielder George Wantanabe
#13 Attacker Baines Horowitz
#16 Attacker Theo Forster

Manager- Alton Benitez
Assistant- Rowan Qwarant

[Electrum]

World Lacrosse Championships 19 - a preview

The Electrum team arrived in Vintomter today in Atlantian Oceania for the next edition of the World Lacrosse Championship. The last champs which happened just a few months ago saw Electrum lose in the Round of 16 by NWG. Now, they are out to go deeper into the championships, and with experience and funding under their belt, the team from Electrum, all members from the Centralis University team look to play much more better. An attacking team with lots of flair, this team will go to all lengths to win their games.

The team will travel to Vintomter, an eternally snowy place and will play at the city of Isbergern. The Nasjonale Stadion will play host to Group E matches, which is composed of Vintomter, Electrum, The Serbian Empire, Korva and North Britonisea. With three unranked teams (by virtue of the hosts being unranked, yet hosting this tournament), Electrum has a good chance of advancing. That being said, it is important to not be complacent, and over the course of the next few days, Centralis University TV will be there every step of the way with the ups and downs of our professors and students. The whole team from the last championship have been called up once again, and with their funding for planes and coach Sam Galloway, they'll be looking to create a big impression this time round.

Their schedule will see them face all of the unranked teams in the first three days, then finally facing the Serbian Empire on the fourth matchday. This seems to be the mini-final of the group with this match potentially determining who gets runners up or group winners. In a departure from last cycle's championships, teams will not be seeded based on their group stage performance. Last time when Electrum snuck in into 16th place last time, and having to face the top seeds they lost comfortably. Now, they stand with a shot to face someone easier in the R16. They will cross over to Group F, potentially facing Jeckland, RKO Quebec, Vettrera, Miley World or Free Swiss States. But first, to even cinch a spot in the finals stage, they will have to get past their group members.

Korva
Korva is a relatively unknown nation on the sporting stage, but they are known for their military prowess in the world stage, being a worldwide supplier of arms and military technologies. Too bad that won't help them with lacrosse. Electrum will face this team on the first matchday.

North Britonisea
After the Grand British Kingdom of Britonisea split into two, the rather assymetrically named North Britonisea has entered this competition alongside their larger counterparts. Being their first time in the tournament, they are also expected to not make an impact in this group, and be a contender for the finals spots. Electrum faces this team on the second match day.

Vintomter
The last of the three unranked teams, Vintomter are the hosts of the competition. Because of this, Electrum should not take this nation so lightly. With home support on their side, this team should not be regarded as a pushover. This match looks to be a sizzler, and Electrum faces this team on the third match day.

The Serbian Empire
Finally, in what can be called the 'final' for this group, Electrum faces The Serbian Empire. Absent from the last lacrosse championships, this top ranked team will be looking to make up for lost ground in the rankings by reinvigorating their lacrosse campaign. This team is the only other ranked team in this group, and with both teams expected to sweep through the unranked teams, this match might become the decider in the rankings for the top spot.

Depending on the circumstances, Electrum will want to avoid Jeckland at all costs and avoid an early exit. So, depending on how Group F plays out... if Jeckland is on top, Electrum will do anything to win, and vice versa.

[Estenia]

Estenian Lacrosse Chronicles

Our players arrived in The Sarian quite worried because they had a groups that you must be afraid of it because 7th Ranked co-hosts, The Sarian are playing with them, well not in the first matchday In the first machday we play against newcomers and surprise runner-ups of IBS VI, Abanhleft, we will sure have a good debut in these Lacrosse Championships as we are ranked 64 and we maybe squeeze into the second place of the group from the very first matchday. but let's not be so sure about that because surpirses happen, very much this year. From May with the World Bowl till July with the Maple Leaf Bowl. Estenia may do another surpirse here. Tommorow the first match will be played and then we will see which teams are proved to be worth and which don't.

[The Serbian Empire]

Welcome to SERB Sports Radio Lacrosse Coverage

Our roster has an unusual style of play when compared to the opponents, but in reality that might explain some of the success that has been seen historically. Defenders and offensive players who can shift to midfield when the style of play requires it certainly makes this team rather hard to defend. Historically, the Serbian Empire has a tendency to outscore opponents heavily and this WLC should be little different. The most notable change is that this team is all-male this time around due to the female athletes partaking in the Olympiad's demonstration event for lacrosse as to prove some star power. Tihana Zupan will be the most missed of those as her skillset was more a midfielder with a highly accurate goal scoring shot to the point that she would see more time attacking than being a midfielder if merely due to the nature of her underpowered but hard to read shots that goalkeepers would struggle mightily with. That scoring presence will be missed, but it's not like the skill dropoff has really happened as her replacement has a more powerful shot that is less accurate, but probably equally difficult to defend.

[The Sarian]

Hello and welcome to SNN news, I'm Hubert Shivone across the SNN network, in the news this morning:

The Sarian National Football Team has recorded a shock draw in the sides first ever World Cup match, the side - playing in The Holy Empire drew nil-nil to the pre-tournament favourites, Polar Islandstates who have appeared in the final three times in the past four cups. Speaking to SNN Breakfast, manager, Daniel Bauer says "that the score will go down in history books, as the day The Sarian broke into the world stage."

Elsewhere in the World Cup, the hosts - Apox fell to a shock five-one defeat to The Royal Kingdom of Quebec, while the defending champions, Vilita began their defence of the title with a one-nil win over New Montreal States. In the other game in Group H - Felix defeated the Blouman Empire to take control of the group.

The Home Executive, Erik Melander has closed The Sarian's Internal Port Service for a third day, following an outbreak of the deadly E-Coli virus on Isle Oakhurst. Speaking on behalf of the Executive Office for Home Affairs was Under Minister, Kallum Stragg, "This is purely a preventional task until we found out what supplies have been contaminated, each Island is equipped with food reserves to last two weeks; no-body has anything to fear."

The actress, Selina Marquez has been arrested and bailed following a night out in Gorgona. The actress who plays Princess Arlette in the hit SNN Drama Rise of Empire, was reportedly involved in a brawl outside the world famous, BluAir Club in the cities center. Marquez has refused to comment on the issue.

The Chippenham Stock Exchange has risen to a ten year high, closing yesterday at 8641.29 points, up 8.09 points. Speaking to the Late Night program was Finance Executive, Oskar Maunier: "This shows that the Florican Party is doing what is best for the country, the raise in stature of The Sarian since we gained power has been huge - and the growing stock market goes further to cement that view."

The next competitor for The Sarian in the WorldVision Song Contest, Sarriana Blac, has given her first performance of the song she will be singing in the contest, entitled Sing it Out. SNN has been given a sneak preview: And we gonna sing it out out out out
We gonna sing it
Out out out
Gonna sing it out out out out
We gonna sing it out out out out

In Sport, the last preparations are being made across the country ahead of the 19th World Lacrosse Championship that kicks off next week. Teams from across the multiverse will be coming to both The Sarian and co-hosts Vintomter for the second time The Sarian has hosted the competition since it's inception in the World Lacrosse Governing Body twelve years ago. The Sarian are amongst the favourites, being ranked seventh in the world.

That was the news headlines, for a full news roundup join us at twelve. For now it's bye from me.

[The Sarian]

Cutofff in The Sarian, Vintomter cutoff to follow Sarian results.

[The Sarian]

Group A
Britonisea 9–9 Star United States
Estenia 7–10 Abanhfleft

  Group A                Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Abanhfleft               1   1  0  0   10   7  +3    3
2 Britonisea               1   0  1  0    9   9   0    1
  Star United States       1   0  1  0    9   9   0    1
4 Estenia                  1   0  0  1    7  10  −3    0

Group B
Costa de Ouro 9–7 Jecatria
Indo-Pasif Archipelago 9–17 Camerania

  Group B                Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Camerania                1   1  0  0   17   9  +8    3
2 Costa de Ouro            1   1  0  0    9   7  +2    3
3 Jecatria                 1   0  0  1    7   9  −2    0
4 Indo-Pasif Archipelago   1   0  0  1    9  17  −8    0

Group C
Anditia 16–9 Mizuyuki
The Kytler Peninsulae 13–14 Globus

  Group C                Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Anditia                  1   1  0  0   16   9  +7    3
2 Globus                   1   1  0  0   14  13  +1    3
3 The Kytler Peninsulae    1   0  0  1   13  14  −1    0
4 Mizuyuki                 1   0  0  1    9  16  −7    0

Group D
Patistan 14–14 United Eastedge
San Jose Guayabal 7–2 Taeshan

  Group D                Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 San Jose Guayabal        1   1  0  0    7   2  +5    3
2 Patistan                 1   0  1  0   14  14   0    1
  United Eastedge          1   0  1  0   14  14   0    1
4 Taeshan                  1   0  0  1    2   7  −5    0

[Vintomter]

Cutoff in Vintomter.

[Vintomter]

Group E
The Serbian Empire 21–15 North Britionsea
Electrum 13–7 Korva

  Group E              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 The Serbian Empire     1   1  0  0   21  15  +6    3
2 Electrum               1   1  0  0   13   7  +6    3
3 North Britionsea       1   0  0  1   15  21  −6    0
4 Korva                  1   0  0  1    7  13  −6    0

Group F
Quebec 9–8 Free Swiss States
Vettrera 14–4 Miley World

  Group F              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Vettrera               1   1  0  0   14   4 +10    3
2 Quebec                 1   1  0  0    9   8  +1    3
3 Free Swiss States      1   0  0  1    8   9  −1    0
4 Miley World            1   0  0  1    4  14 −10    0

Group G
Thatius 9–11 Jachaelter
Darvale 9–9 Qycch

  Group G              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Jachaelter             1   1  0  0   11   9  +2    3
2 Darvale                1   0  1  0    9   9   0    1
  Qycch                  1   0  1  0    9   9   0    1
4 Thatius                1   0  0  1    9  11  −2    0

Group H
Paradystopia 9–12 Alkoul
Itanpavia 6–9 Appalachia

  Group H              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Alkoul                 1   1  0  0   12   9  +3    3
2 Appalachia             1   1  0  0    9   6  +3    3
3 Paradystopia           1   0  0  1    9  12  −3    0
4 Itanpavia              1   0  0  1    6   9  −3    0

[Paradystopia]

"Did you manage to iron things out with Alkoul?"
"Kinda. They were still a little distressed at witnessing two of their players get horrifically mauled by ... scary monkey six?"
"I think it was six. Could've been nine though ... they all look alike."
"You'd have thought they'd be happy to have won nonetheless."
"I know right? Some people have no concept of sportsmanship and being a gracious winner. Who got mauled anyway?"
"No idea. They didn't release a team sheet prior to the match and with all the running about screaming and the blood you couldn't really make out the names on the back of their shirts."
"Bet it was an interesting match to watch."
"You didn't see it?"
"No. It was a choice between the lacrosse and a repeat of 'Funny cat videos volume 4,204' on the other side. Cat videos win every time. You watched the game then?"
"N'ah. I watched the cat videos too. I was too high to try and comprehend lacrosse so I just got baked and ate a family-sized tub of vanilla ice-cream."
"Doesn't being the foreign minister have like, responsibilities and stuff?"
"Oh fuck yeah. Loads of maudlin bullshit. Most of it is simply trying to get other nations to drop drug-trafficking charges against Paradystopi tourists. Sheesh! Total pain in the arse. Just 'cause one guy gets caught with six ounces of marijuana, two grammes of MDMA and a large canister of nitrous oxide they..."
"People still do nitrous? Wow ... bloody hipsters trying to be ironically retro, or something like that."
"Yeah .. anyway, so some guy gets caught with that on him and gets arrested under the suspicion of being some sort of drug kingpin."
"What?! ... Hahaha ... With only six oz? Haha ... I keep more than that in my locker at work."
"Aye ... ditto. Anyway, it's a total pain in the testicles trying to negotiate with these bloody right-wing fascists."
"Maybe you could get something issued to the lacrosse team? Disguise some ketamine as an energy drink or something? Might stop any more maulings from occuring."
"N'ah. Seems like a waste of some good gear. Pass the crack pipe would ya?"

[Electrum]

See Part 9 for an intro

Part 10 - Day 4 - Trial Part 2

Intro|Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4|Part 5|Part 6|Part 7|Part 8|Part 9

Kazuyuki Shirai: Hahaha... It's nice seeing you squirm around in court like that... for you to try and blame Azai for the crime!

Kira Mayuno: What a truly evil man.

Kazuyuki Shirai: It was a good idea wasn't it, to get your assistant kidnapped! Man, that assassin is good! You know, I'm going to give that guy my warehouse space after he's done with it!

Justin Themis: Shut up!

Kira Mayuno: Justin, your phone is ringing

*BEEP*

Det. Raynald: Justin, how is the trial going??

Justin Themis: We're not doing so well... we're hanging on by a thread here... What about you? Did you find her yet?

Det. Raynald: Um.... Yeah, we still don't know where she or the assassin is yet...

Justin Themis: COME ON! We need to get something! We're about to drop off here! There's no way we can continue this charade that we're doing!

Det. Raynald: We just need a clue! Any clue!

Kira Mayuno: Hang on a second, Justin, come with me. We need to get out of this room for a second....

Justin Themis: Alright, I'll hand you the phone.

Kira Mayuno: Try and find the records for Kazuyuki's warehouse... I have a feeling that's where the assassin is hiding her!

Justin Themis: Are you sure?

Kira Mayuno: Look, he just accidentally blurted it out just then. It's our only lead.

Justin Themis: Det. Raynald, you hear that?

Det. Raynald: OK then, just hang on a little longer! I promise to get her back before the end of today! I'll call you when I get something!

*BEEP*

Bailiff: Lawyer, the court is about to go back in session. Please go back into the courtroom.

[The Serbian Empire]

Serbian Blast North Britonsea 21-15

In a score that resembles the Serbian teams of old, the Serbs also gave up a boatload of goals when compared to the other teams with fifteen allowed. Think about that for a moment as the losing team scored enough goals to be fourth best offensively and still lost by six. If the odd formation has taught us anything of significance thus far that would be that the Serbs will score at will as will the opponents. The bad news for opponents is that a goal total good enough to win against anyone else would be woefully inadequate. North Britonsea learned that the hard way.

That being said, it's the final game in the group schedule that holds most weight to the Serbs as the only other ranked team in Electrum is there. They're ranked some fourteen positions behind the Serbs in the rankings with their debut being in WLC 18 when the Serbs were absent producing one of the strongest runs by a debutant since WLC 14 making it to the Final Eight. Still, the worst finish for a Serb team has been the Final Eight which speaks volumes about this team's program. A truly dominating force offensively which has innovated the game at least when it comes to offense at the price of defense. The defense on the other hand has been average at best even in the championship run in WLC 14.

[Cosumar]

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The Blog Board
The portion of the site where users submit brief blog posts related to Cosumar Lacrosse

Lacrosse making huge strides in popularity in Cosumar (hence new banner!)
submitted by ADMIN -- August 13, 4:34 p.m.

When I first created Dragonlacrosse, it was intended as a small, niche corner of the interwebz for the few of us crosseheads sprinkled across Cosumar. A future where one could walk into their local sports bar and see a WLC match playing on one of the screens seemed like a dream so distant. Now, on the 14th anniversary of the creation of this website, I look around me...and I see that this dream has become a reality.

Lacrosse has experienced tremendous growth in TV ratings and public interest... but still has a ways to go to be considered a major sport in Cosumar. Our beloved sport is still dwarfed by football, basketball and the like, but lacrosse has risen from the 12th (behind even curling) to the 4th most popular spectator sport in Cosumar in just the past decade.

That IS tremendous growth, folks. In fact, one might even go as far as to say we lacrosse fans are no longer a rarity here. As such, it is with great pleasure that I strike the word "rare" from Dragonlacrosse's banner, which has hitherto remained unchanged since its creation after WLC XI. I don't mean to jinx our sport's growth, but just take it as a sign that this site is now targeting a much broader demographic of Cosumarites.

However, most of the aforementioned growth is centered around international lacrosse. Polls show that more and more Cosumarites actively follow the World Lacrosse Championships, but support for our domestic league has remained relatively static. Perhaps Cosumarites aren't as crazy for the sport as much they are just desperate to see us succeed internationally in something.

Well, if it's Cosumar winning something that the public wants, it should rally around the Dragons as they travel to The Sarian for WLC XIX. As the third-ranked team in the world, Cosumar has a much better chance of winning the WLC than it does, say, the Cup of Harmony. Yet I suspect the CoH will still draw at least twice the media coverage...

Oh well, growing a fanbase takes time. Perhaps one day lacrosse will overtake precious football as our de-facto national sport. But for now, lacrosse fans, just enjoy the new banner and know that you are no longer special :P


New Faces, Old Faces: Get to know this year's squad
submitted by bluedude -- August 13, 10:01 a.m.

Here is my unofficial intro to Cosumar's WLC XIX campaign. You've gotta read it in a Kiefer Sutherland vocie:

"Some say we've been placed in the ... Group of Death. So be it.
Some say we are ripe for the upset. To them I say...thanks.
You see, here's the thing. You doubt us? Perfect. Underestimate us? Fine. Challenges are what we wake up for. Working harder is what we do.
The way I see it, it's called the Group of Death because ... WE are in it.
We are Cosumar Dragons - and THIS is who we are."

So who exactly are the WLC XIX Cosumar Dragons? Who are the players that you need to know as you follow our journey towards our first WLC championship?

As usual, it starts with Attacker Tracy Sheppard. The man, the hero, the legend. He is still, at the ripe age of 34, the best player in Cosumar and perhaps the world. He has been the Dragons' captain and leader for about fifteen years and is still just as productive as he has always been. Sheappard's is the only face on the team that the average Cosumarite is guaranteed to recognize. And what a gorgeous face it is! Oh come on, admit it, you've got a man-crush on him too! Anyways, we can depend on him to net several goals per game, keep the team motivated, and always make smart decisions. I might even go as far as to say that his presence secures us a 2nd or 3rd place finish in Group D at minimum.

But if you're one of Cosumar's opponents, don't be that team (and there always is one) that makes the crucial mistake of believing Sheppard is our only weapon worth defending. The Dragons' other two starting attackers, Christopher Tennant and Jacques Archambault, are quite capable in their own right. Tennant made his international debut in the previous WLC and shined as a go-to second option after Sheppard. He's not the fastest or most athletic player, but he showed incredible poise in Anditia and was the team's second-leading scorer. Off the field, he is known as an all-around nerd: lover of obscure science fiction films and the like. I met him at Cosumar Comic-Con a few months ago, in fact. Delightful guy to talk to. As for Archambault, he is one of those "new faces" on the team. The young attacker from Cassandra City is a prime example of how our homegrown talent is starting to really ramp up with lacrosse's ascending popularity. At only 21, Archambault is a phenomenal athlete and one of the most creative scorers I've seen. Some people on this site are already proclaiming him as their heir-apparent to Tracy Sheppard. Archambault truly is a wizard with his lacrosse stick, but he still has much to learn about the finer points of the game. He also needs a new hairstyle. That greasy slicked-back style he's been sporting makes him look like some filthy Esportivan...ew.

With Sheppard, Tennant, and Archambault carrying the torch, Cosumar is sure to score plenty of goals. But as evidenced by North Britionsea's 21-15 loss to The Serbian Empire last night, it doesn't matter how much you score if you can't stop the other team. Fortunately, the Dragons have no shortage of quality defenders either. Half-Sarrbian Thomas Koma is the leader of the defense. Koma has been donning the Cosumarite colors for several years. He's of the strong-but-silent type: stoic personality, but fiercely competitive. His long, muscular frame is a nightmare for opposing attackers. Off the field, Koma is identifiable as being the member of the team with no left ear. It was taken by him in a fight with a rabid wild dragon (yes, we have those in Cosumar). He is flanked to the left by Tyler Landis and to the right by Marcus Warrick. These other two defenders too are returning starters from WLC XVIII, giving the Dragons a lot of continuity and experience along the back line.

Hopefully, those three will act as a concrete wall and make the job easy for our goalkeeper, Wesley Hill. Hill is a world-class young talent who debuted for us in the last WLC, guiding us to 3rd place. With that experience under his belt, he should be even better this time around. His reflexes are absurdly quick. At times, it seems Hill is deflecting the ball before the shot has even been released. His anticipation and instincts for his position are unparalleled. Hill's only weakness is that he is too overconfident in coming out of the goal to make a play. Sometimes this aggression burns him for an easy score. Off the field, he's known as a huge party animal - hanging out with celebrities, gambling and just always having a good time with a "screw the haters I'm going to have fun" attitude.

Is that it? Have I covered all of our starters? I feel like I'm forgetting someone.....Oh yes! The midfielders! Derp. If Cosumar has a weakness, it is our midfield. Longtime stars Leonard Fisher and Skyler Cobb are gone from the starting line-up, leaving two vacancies in the midfield. It remains to be seen whether they will be adequately replaced. Ivar Kalessin (25) and Kaspar Hrubin (23) have been named starters by Duke McDougle despite neither having never played internationally before. Kalessin is a fierce-looking bloke, thick and burly with numerous freaky tattoos across his body and the pointiest of pointy beards. He is known for rapping opponents' hands with his crosse as an "intimidation tactic". Last season in Cosumar's domestic league, Kalessin broke eight opposing fingers. Hrubin, by contrast, looks younger than his age. The boyish, blonde midfielder is straight out of the collegiate league. He dominated in college, but I'm worried he doesn't have enough top-level experience yet to seamlessly adjust to the WLC. Time will tell I suppose, and I trust that Coach McDougle knows what he's doing. The sole returning midfielder from WLC XVIII is Achmed Dejagah, the fastest player on the team. Rumor has it that he ran a sub-4.0 on a 40-yard dash in practice and then jumped over a moving car. I don't doubt it - the dude's legs are a blur when he runs and he's definitely got some serious hops.

Now you know every starting Cosumar Dragon! So there's no excuse to not watch the team take the field for their first WLC match tonight against Patistan. You can watch the game at 11 p.m. Cosumar-time on CSBN2.


Short Group Stage + Draw of Death = DANGER for Dragons
submitted by dragonfan88 -- August 12, 12:30 p.m.

It's time for a new WLC to begin, which means Dragonlacrosse.cos will be overflowing with pro-Cosumar hype and the like. I know posting a negative story at the moment will get me a ton of downvotes and ruin my site Karma, but I'm going to do it anyways. I'm getting the feeling that Dragons fans have collectively become too overconfident - placing too much weight on past success and taking for granted that we will get out of the group stage.

Wake up guys. Before Cosumar was a household name in lacrosse, we upset some top teams to force our way into the knockout rounds. Now that we are one of those top teams, what makes you think an up-and-coming team like Patistan or SJG can't do the same to us? The reality is that the Dragons have been placed in a group with no cupcake teams. No chart-stuffing easy wins. Unranked sides Taeshan and United Eastedge are considered to be the two most dangerous newcomers in the entire tournament. To make things even more uncomfortable, we only get one game against each opponent instead of two. That's right, group stage is only four games long. That means that one bad game, one mistake, one upset could completely topple our WLC campaign.

I saw a blog post on the second page where some of you were discussing who we might play in the Championship. Are you fucking KIDDING ME? I'm not even comfortable predicting that we'll win our group. Don't forget that hungry feeling we all had when our Dragons were underdogs...that's how teams like Patistan and SJG feel now. I do think we have a great team this year, but if we let the Dragons get complacent and look past their Group D rivals, they will get upended. Only one chance against each opponent, so let's get this right.

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[Abanhfleft]

"Hello, sports fans, and welcome to the 19th edition of the World Lacrosse Championship. I'm Noburo Paulsky..."

"And I'm Malik Qazizadah..."

"And we're coming to you live from the Nayokia Arena, in Chippenham, The Sarian. It's Estenia v. Abanhfleft today in the second game of Group A in the World Lacrosse Championship; and boy, are our girls in for a tough ride. Malik, would you care to explain?"

"Well, it's like this, Noburo. This is Abanhfleft's first time joining the World Lacrosse Championship, and then we had the supposed gall to send our women's team to a tournament that will undoubtedly be dominated by men. Many of the teams that we'll be facing in the group stage have raised protests with the international governing body of lacrosse about the composition of our team. And then came the rumors that San Jose Guayabal has sent a bunch of drunks to represent them in this tournament, and that Paradystopia actually dispatched ten rabid gibbons as their whole team! Rabid gibbons! Well, here's to hoping that we don't have to face the Paradystopi Gibbons anytime soon!"

"I don't think that's what I really meant, Malik. But anyway, let's talk about Group A! Hey, that rhymed. Anyway, again, let's talk about our situation in Group A."

"Ah, yes, Group A. We've got The Sarian in the group automatically because of their being hosts of the tournament. They're definitely favorites to advance in this group, what with them being ranked 7th in lacrosse and all. Next we got Britonisea. They're 19th overall, and while I haven't seen their team in action yet, they've got some strength by virtue of their high ranking. And then we have Estenia, the team our girls are about to face today. They're ranked 64th, which is still a bit of a good ranking. And they've brought a good team to the field for this tournament. Their attackers are definitely players to watch out for, but then again, that's common sense. But the guys I would recommend lacrosse watchers to be really watch are Anatoly Volodya, Kirill Yevgeny, and Dmitrii Pyotr. They've got a good partnership between the three of them that was manifest in the friendly that they played against one of the local teams the day before the start of the team. I'm not the betting type, but they could give us a good showing in this tournament."

"The last team in Group A that isn't Abanhfleft is Star United States. I was there when they absolutely demolished that Sunday lacrosse team in a pre-tourney friendly yesterday. Isaac Hall, Lance Jordan, and Taylor Jame are definitely the players to watch in this team. An interesting thing to note is that they're the only unranked team in this group besides us, and yet people are saying that they've got better chances in this group than us. Well, obviously, the unranked teams are at a definite disadvantage when it comes to these tournaments, but let's just stray from lacrosse for a moment and head for baseball. Let's call back to mind the International Baseball Slam VI. Nobody paid attention to our sluggers in the group stages of that tournament, too. And then, after a slow start that involved three or four straight losses, the Abanhfleft Revolution took ten straight wins. Ten! And that wasn't all. Many other teams that were ranked high in baseball fell to the Revolution, and it was only the Gregoryisgodistan Bat Slaves that managed to contain them and make them settle for second place. My point? Abanhfleft, not being famous as a sporting country, has definitely and absolutely surprised the sporting world by coming into tournaments as an unranked team and then blowing through all opposition for top finishes. And I expect the same to happen in this tournament, and therefore prove all those doubters out there wrong for ignoring us."

"All right, Noburo, lay off the patriotism for a while, man. Here come the starters; Estenia out first, wearing white shirts and yellow shorts. They've got their sticks by their sides; not sure what it means, because it probably means nothing for them. And then we have Abanhfleft. Mm, do our girls look good in their green and gold uniforms. And don't forget all that padding on them. I especially like the padding on Fatima Alsambis, if you know what I mean. They're slapping the butts of their sticks on the ground, just as if their crosses were war spears. And watch as they march in cadence. That's the sure sign of a militarized nation, which Abanhfleft definitely is. All those women in green and gold down there have served at least three years in the Fleftic military, and I know for a fact that at least five of them are still on the active reserve list. Anyway, they're all lining up on the field, and I think that's the national anthem of the Democratic Republic. We better shut up and stand, Noburo."

After the Abanhfleft national anthem...

"Well, wasn't that a good rendition of the national anthem? What do you say, Malik?"

"Definitely one of the best, Noburo. Now, let me tell you a little something something about our national anthem. This was told to me by grandfather, way back when I was still an innocent child, and he was still alive, may his soul rest in peace."

"I highly doubt that there ever was a time that you were innocent, Malik."

"Whatever, man. Anyway, as my grandfather told me, most other countries' national anthems were written or set to a tune at a time when they've already won their war of independence or something like that. On the other hand, our national anthem was written while we were still fighting; like we were just about to head for the war."

"Well, Malik, that was certainly a fun bit of trivia, but I don't see what connection it has to lacrosse. Anyway, here comes the national anthem of Estenia, so we'll be shutting up in a bit again."

After the Estenia national anthem...

"Well, it's certainly rousing..."

"But enough about national anthems. We're here to commentate some lacrosse! And here's the face-off to kickstart this game. Mubashira Alto Aragon will face off for the Democratic Republic, and Filipp Soosaar will do the honors for Estenia. Soosaar looks like he's a little unsure about how to proceed with a girl in front of him in a face-off, while Mubashira's just giving the Estenian an icy look. The ref blows the whistle, and the game has begun! And Mubashira immediately sent her shoulder into the surprised Estenian midfielder--a move more suited for American football than lacrosse!"

"But the surprise has definitely done something good for Abanhfleft, as Mubashira has gained possession of the ball and is making the run towards the crease. The goalie's still stuck in that first face-off, and he's standing still. Mubashira takes the long shot! And the ball whizzes past the keeper! Abanhfleft scores, right at the very first minute of the game!"

"And once again, we're back at the face-off. At least Soosaar finally has an idea about what's in store for him this time. There's the whistle, and now it seems as if the effort to get the ball has become more equal than the first one. Yet once again, Mubashira takes the ball, and this time she throws it to a waiting Alsambis. Fatima makes the run, throws the ball... The keeper saves it. Finally, the first signs of life from Estenia." Estenia 0-1 Abanhfleft (ALTO ARAGON)

First quarter, six minutes...

"Oh, Gleb Eduard's making a run! He passes the ball to Anatoly Volodya. He goes for goal! But Rina Tchamba has smashed her stick into his facemask! Illegal body check penalty! And Tchamba's walking for the penalty box, and Abanhfleft will be playing man down for the next sixty seconds."

"Either Rina's pissed off that she failed to help the defense properly, or she's sending out some kind of message to the world."

"I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that message, though, Malik." (VOLODYA) Estenia 1-1 Abanhfleft

First quarter, seven minutes...

"Here's the faceoff. Alto Aragon manages to win the ball. She lobs it to Alsambis. Fatima passes it to Alrisheb. Menan throws! And it's in!"

"That's certainly saying something about Abanhfleft's playing style, to so quickly take the lead again after an equalizer. And it's with the team man down!" Estenia 1-2 Abanhfleft (ALRISHEB)

First quarter, fourteen minutes...

"Eduard, to Denis, to Soosaar, to Yevgeny. Kirill Yevgeny throws the ball towards the goal! And it's in! Ceneisia Repextob can only look in wonder as the ball whizzed past her! Never seen a lacrosse ball travel that fast, Noburo!" (YEVGENY) Estenia 2-2 Abanhfleft

"And that's the end of the first quarter! Estenia and Abanhfleft are currently tied, 2-all! Let's see if we'll see the same kind of play in the second quarter."

Second quarter, five minutes...

"Oh, that's a nice run from Koothrappali. Alsambis is waiting just beyond the crease. Chandra passes to Fatima. Faddei's trying to stick-check her, but Alsambis is having none of it... She goes for goal! And Fatima Alsambis has made it 3-2 for Abanhfleft! Oh, what a nice showing of skill and flair from the Amazons!" Estenia 2-3 Abanhfleft (ALSAMBIS)

Second quarter, twelve minutes...

"Hey, that was a soccer, er, football tackle! Someone should remind Jean Buchare that this is lacrosse and not football, and forget about what Tim the Blighter taught them! That's a personal foul on Buchare, and she's off to the penalty box, and Abanhfleft is once again man down. Let's see if Estenia can take advantage of this."

"Soosaar has the ball. He's looking for an open teammate, but he can't find any because the Amazons have established a good screen. But wait, what's this? Feofilakt Ivanov's broken free of his defender, and he's calling for the ball! Soosaar makes the pass. Ivanov runs for it. He throws... He scores! And once again, Estenia has equalized against Abanhfleft!" (IVANOV) Estenia 3-3 Abanhfleft

Second quarter, thirteen minutes...

"The ball is with Gilfoy. To Alto Aragon. To Cuvimi. Terenti's blocking her path, so she throws it back to Alrisheb. No one's guarding Menan A! She makes the throw! And Abanhfleft is once again in the lead!" Estenia 3-4 Abanhfleft (ALRISHEB)

Second quarter, fifteen minutes...

"We're in the final minute of this second quarter between Abanhfleft and Estenia. So far, the game's been always Abanhfleft taking the lead, and then Estenia equalizing, before the cycle repeats all over again. If someone doesn't break this deadlock, we could be heading into yet another draw into half-time."

"True that, Malik. And here comes Gleb Eduard with the ball. Once again, he's looking for an open teammate but can't find one because Abanhfleft's screen is just so good. Ah, wait a minute, I can see Kirill Yevgeny moving ever so slowly away from Georgia Turalles. Will Eduard see him? Yes, he will! Eduard throws the ball to Yevgeny, who immediately converts! Oh, and Georgia's slapping her stick on her helmet! Someone better stop her, or she'll damage either piece of her equipment!" (YEVGENY) Estenia 4-4 Abanhfleft

"And that's the end of the second quarter. The score is tied, 4-4."

Third quarter, two minutes...

"Alto Aragon has the ball. Pass to Koothrappali, who's made the run. Alsambis and Cuvimi are both calling for the ball. Chandra has to make a tough call here. Both attackers are guarded closely. Will she pass? Or will she be selfish and go for goal herself?"

"She's going to be generous today, Noburo! And she's picked CeCe Cuvimi! Cuvimi swerves and avoids Faddei's crosse. And the ball is in the net! Cecilia Cuvimi with the goal!" Estenia 4-5 Abanhfleft (CUVIMI)

Third quarter, five minutes...

"Sokolov's broken free from Alto Aragon! He's making a run for the crease! Regina Tamaho's blocking his way! Ooh! She shoves her crosse right into Yaropolk Sokolov's gut with unbelievable viciousness for a woman! And that's yet another Fleftic in the penalty box."

"Sokolov gets the ball back from Denis. To Soosaar. To Pyotr. Ceneisia's in his way, but will this faze Dmitrii Pyotr? Not! He scores! Another equalizer for Estenia!" (PYOTR) Estenia 5-5 Abanhfleft

Third quarter, seven minutes...

"Tchamba's managed to steal the ball from Yevgeny. She passes to Turalles, who passes to Koothrappali, who passes to Cuvimi, who passes to Alrisheb, who's wide open! She lobs the ball in, and it's yet another lead for Abanhfleft! Now all we need to do is wait for the Estenia equalizer." Estenia 5-6 Abanhfleft (ALRISHEB)

Third quarter, nine minutes...

"And here comes the inevitable! Anatoly Volodya has managed to separate himself from Regina Tamaho's defensive screen, and he receives the pass from Soosaar. He lobs the ball into the goal, and it's in! Estenia has equalized yet again!" (VOLODYA) Estenia 6-6 Abanhfleft

Third quarter, eleven minutes...

"Here comes yet another Abanhfleft attack! But this time, I think it could work! The midfield has caught their counterparts unawares, and they're just passing the ball back and forth between them while they advance up to their attacking zone. Koothrappali's got the ball in the attack zone, and she's looking for an open teammate. But the Estenians have locked down our attackers, and no one's got a good look at the goal. Chandra passes to Patricia Gilfoy, who immediately passes it back to Chandra Koothrappali. She throws a prayer... and the ball is in the goal! Abanhfleft once again in the lead!" Estenia 6-7 Abanhfleft (KOOTHRAPPALI)

Third quarter, fourteen minutes...

"And of course it's too good to last, Noburo. Estenia's advancing up the field. Eduard has the ball. to Soosaar. The Estenian attackers are all out of position thanks to good defensive work by the Fleftic defenders, so Soosaar has no choice and throws for goal. And it's in! Estenia are level with Abanhfleft, once again." (SOOSAAR) Estenia 7-7 Abanhfleft

"And the third quarter is history! Estenia and Abanhfleft are still tied at 7-all."

"Someone better do something this fourth quarter, because I wouldn't want to come away from this with just a draw. I mean, Abanhfleft's been doing all the attacking, and all that Estenia's been doing is playing catch up. Either we lock down on defense or just keeping throwing more goals."

"I don't think that's a real sound strategy, Malik."

"Shut up, Noburo."

Fourth quarter, five minutes...

"Wait a minute, Tofiloki's making the run! She lobs the ball to a waiting Alsambis, who throws it into the goal with all her power! Abanhfleft leads once again! But will this lead finally last, or will Estenia come back again?" Estenia 7-8 Abanhfleft (ALSAMBIS)

Fourth quarter, ten minutes...

"Strangely, Estenia hasn't made any serious efforts at goal this fourth quarter. Sure, they're getting to the attacking area and throwing shots, but nothing's gone it at the moment. Repextob catches a weak attempt from Kirill Yevgeny. She clears it to Jean Buchare. Pass to Mubashira Aragon. To CeCe Cuvimi. To Fatima Alsambis. She spots a gap in the defense, and takes it! And it's in! Fatima Alsambis scores Abanhfleft's second hattrick in this tournament!"

"Looks like we've finally broken the cycle of scoring and equalizing, Malik."

"It sure does look like it, Noburo. Now we just have to maintain this lead for five more minutes." Estenia 7-9 Abanhfleft (ALSAMBIS)

Fourth quarter, fourteen minutes...

"We're in the last minute of the fourth quarter, Abanhfleft leading by two. Ceneisia Repextob catches the ball... and what's this? She's gone out of the crease, with the ball! She's running for the midfield! She's ordering Tchamba to stay back, and then she's ordering Mubashira to stay back! Now it's CeCe's turn to stay back! Is this real, Malik? Is a goalie really going for goal?"

"Look, the Estenian goalie's given up! He's not even making an effort to defend his net! And Ceneisia Repextob lands the final blow, and Abanhfleft has won this contest, 10-7! Man, I don't think I've ever seen a goalie make a run for the opposite end!" Estenia 7-10 Abanhfleft (REPEXTOB)

"And this game is in the books! Abanhfleft has won it! The final score is Abanhfleft 10, Estenia 7. Menan Alrisheb and Fatima Alsambis are today's top scorers, both with three goals each. Menan A is the People's Player of the Match."

"Abanhfleft will be taking a rest for day 2 of this tournament, before going on to face Star United States on Saturday, August 16. Once again, I'm Malik Qazizadah..."

"And I'm Noburo Paulsky, and we're coming to you live from the Nayokia Arena, in Chippenham, The Sarian. So long, sports fans, and take care."

[United Eastedge]

Guess I'm a bit late... Sorry for that; the first days of college have been exhaustive.

Eastedgean Lacrosse Association (ELA)
National Team Roster for the World Lacrosse Championship XIX (19)

---

Overview: Lacrosse is not one of the most important sports in United Eastedge as association football, baseball, and basketball could be. Nonetheless, the said sport has been present in the country since early editions of the World Lacrosse Championship. In fact, the majority of the players of the national team, were the most highlighted ones in their respective universities or colleges and they are between 20 and 26 years old. Unfortunately, the national economy was not an ally of the sports department in that time, causing difficulties to develop the said sport. Therefore, this is the first time that United Eastedge will have a national team looking to make history scarcely in their first attempt at the biggest Lacrosse event in the multiverse, which is now reaching the 19th edition and it is going to be held in the nations of The Sarian and Vintomter.

---

Coaching Staff: Brett Wells, president of the Eastedgean Lacrosse Association called both coaches of the two best universities regarding Lacrosse to be part of the coaching staff, which is comprised by the head coach Joe Schmidt and the assistant coach Roger Watkins. They will be in charge of guide the team all the way through and why not? Lift the trophy this time around. If you want to know more information about them, below there is something that could work for that.

Joe Schmidt (Head Coach): The Eastedgean head coach of the Lacrosse National Team was born in one of the largest cities of northern United Eastedge. He was one of the players of the Lochbridge University, being one of the most highlighted players of all time. Nonetheless, he could not achieve something bigger than just represent his university because of the economic crisis the country was sufferig in that time. As any sportman, the age became a problem for him to play the way he used to. So, he decided to become the head coach of the same university at the age of 42, guiding it to lift the trophy 2 times on a row. Was five years after that, when Wells called him to be part of a bigger project after he saw Lochbridge at the top of the country. Obviously, he did not say no to that offer and became what he currently is, the man who will guide the country to lift the trophy, without giving importance to how strong is the team they would need to face.

Roger Watkins (Assistant Coach): Roger Watkins was not one of the best players or something like that. In fact, he did not play a single game of Lacrosse in his young time, but as a coach, he has been the best ever. His story takes place in the University of the town in development, Oldlake, which is located almost at the northeast coast of the country, close to the border with the nation of Bratislav. However, he has been years as a coach, winning 10 titles at least thorughout his carreer. The president of the Eastedgean Lacrosse Association, Brett Wells called him to be part of the coaching staff of the national team for the current edition of the World Lacrosse Championship at the age of 39, which means that there will be a promising future for the said man. He will be helping the head coach of the national team from now on.

---

---

[The Sarian]

If I can stop cutting coughing for two minutes, consider this your cutoff for groups in The Sarian.

[The Sarian]

Group A
Star United States 8–14 Estenia
The Sarian 9–5 Britonisea

  Group A                Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 The Sarian               1   1  0  0    9   5  +4    3
2 Estenia                  2   1  0  1   21  18  +3    3
3 Abanhfleft               1   1  0  0   10   7  +3    3
4 Britonisea               2   0  1  1   14  18  −4    1
5 Star United States       2   0  1  1   17  23  −6    1

Group B
Jecatria 15–6 Indo-Pasif Archipelago
Unolia 9–5 Costa de Ouro

  Group B                Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Camerania                1   1  0  0   17   9  +8    3
2 Jecatria                 2   1  0  1   22  15  +7    3
3 Unolia                   1   1  0  0    9   5  +4    3
4 Costa de Ouro            2   1  0  1   14  16  −2    3
5 Indo-Pasif Archipelago   2   0  0  2   15  32 −17    0

Group C
Mizuyuki 13–8 The Kytler Peninsulae
Estope 9–12 Anditia

  Group C                Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Anditia                  2   2  0  0   28  18 +10    6
2 Globus                   1   1  0  0   14  13  +1    3
3 Mizuyuki                 2   1  0  1   22  24  −2    3
4 Estope                   1   0  0  1    9  12  −3    0
5 The Kytler Peninsulae    2   0  0  2   21  27  −6    0

Group D
United Eastedge 13–15 San Jose Guayabal
Cosumar 12–3 Patistan

  Group D                Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 San Jose Guayabal        2   2  0  0   22  15  +7    6
2 Cosumar                  1   1  0  0   12   3  +9    3
3 United Eastedge          2   0  1  1   27  29  −2    1
4 Patistan                 2   0  1  1   17  26  −9    1
5 Taeshan                  1   0  0  1    2   7  −5    0

[Vintomter]

Cutoff in Vintomter.

[Vintomter]

Group E
North Britionsea 10–6 Electrum
Vintomter 4–13 The Serbian Empire

  Group E              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 The Serbian Empire     2   2  0  0   34  19 +15    6
2 Electrum               2   1  0  1   19  17  +2    3
3 North Britionsea       2   1  0  1   25  27  −2    3
4 Korva                  1   0  0  1    7  13  −6    0
5 Vintomter              1   0  0  1    4  13  −9    0

Group F
Free Swiss States 9–17 Vettrera
Jeckland 13–8 Quebec

  Group F              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Vettrera               2   2  0  0   31  13 +18    6
2 Jeckland               1   1  0  0   13   8  +5    3
3 Quebec                 2   1  0  1   17  21  −4    3
4 Free Swiss States      2   0  0  2   17  26  −9    0
5 Miley World            1   0  0  1    4  14 −10    0

Group G
Jachaelter 9–6 Darvale
Darmen 9–8 Thatius

  Group G              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Jachaelter             2   2  0  0   20  15  +5    6
2 Darmen                 1   1  0  0    9   8  +1    3
3 Qycch                  1   0  1  0    9   9   0    1
4 Darvale                2   0  1  1   15  18  −3    1
5 Thatius                2   0  0  2   17  20  −3    0

Group H
Alkoul 4–11 Itanpavia
Nassau-Hessen 13–5 Paradystopia

  Group H              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Nassau-Hessen          1   1  0  0   13   5  +8    3
2 Itanpavia              2   1  0  1   17  13  +4    3
3 Appalachia             1   1  0  0    9   6  +3    3
4 Alkoul                 2   1  0  1   16  20  −4    3
5 Paradystopia           2   0  0  2   14  25 −11    0

[Estenia]

Second match, first win, finally!

After the surprising loss against Abahnleft, Estenia finally won. Estenia won Star United States with 8-14 after an amazing match. The match started well for us Estenians scoring in the very first chance of the game, which gae them pretty much morale for the rest of the game. The goal was scored by Dmitrii Pyotr, our star player in the offence, this goal was his 5th in the lacrosse championships this time. Then Estenians started very well and after 2 chances they scored again, the secore was 1-2 and Estenians in general were playing better than Star United States, dominating in the midfield, for some time, Estenians lost their rythm and we saw them losing 6-4 but with quick counter-attacks, Estenians managed to win with 6-10 , they finally found their rythm and they scored 2 more goals to make 8-12 then with another 4 counter attack they managed to score in 2 of them to make the final score of 8-14.

Star United States - Estenia
8-14

Goalscorers Star United States:

Goalscorers Estenia:

Dmitrii Pyotr scored 4 goals
Filipp Soosaar scored 2 goals
Anatoly Voloda scored 3 goals
Kirill Yevgeny scored 3 goals
Gleb Eduard scored 2 goals

Isaac Hall scored 2 goals
Michael Lewis scored 1 goal
Philip Burns scored 2 goals
Lance Jordan scored 2 goals
Taylor Jame scored 1 goal

[Paradystopia]

If my opponent RPs first, he/she may:
===================================
Godmod other events: Yes, please make it fun and creative if you can *stares intently at Paradystopia*
===================================

Like feeding a Mogwai after midnight, encouraging me in my madness in something you shouldn't do ...

Mwhahaha

"C'mon now. That's just not cricket."
"I thought it was lacrosse?"
"It's a turn of phrase, moron."
"Oh right. Of course ..."
"Yeah ... Anyway, I should report those Nassau-Hesseners for cheating."
"Why? Also, isn't it Nassauites?"
"I don't care what they call themselves. They're cheating bastards. Yes, we supplied tranquilliser darts should the team get out of hand but I didn't think anyone would use them during a match."
"So they anaesthetised our team?"
"Oh yeah, early on too. We were 5-3 up at that point!"
"Is that good?"
"I think so ... but yeah, then they shot half the team and cruised to a 13-5 victory. The rest of our team spent the remainder of the match cowering in a corner."
"Harsh."
"I do have a good mind to ask the Vintomter officials to reclassify the game as a Paradystopi victory by default."
"Don't you think they'll bring up the fact that we sent ten dangerous primates instead of an actual sports team. In fact, they've overlooked the fact we don't actually have a full squad so I don't think they'll take kindly to us accusing others of not playing by the rules."
"You show me in a lacrosse rule book where it says 'No aggressive gibbons may play lacrosse'."
"It's under the rule which states 'the use of dart guns is prohibited'."
"Really?!"
"No ... I'm joking."
"Oh, I see ... I knew that."
"Of course you did."
"I did! Anyway, as long as the Hessenites? ..."
"Hessians."
"Yeah, them. As long as they don't make any complaints about Steve."
"Steve?"
"Scary Monkey 2, I decided to call him Steve. No reason."
"Fair enough."
"But yeah, he did strike Kevin Kibler square in the face with a ... ermm ... faecal projectile."
"He flung shit at him?"
"Yeah, and he copped it right on the nose. Pretty funny actually though the Nassauians ..."
"Nassauites."
"Yeah them, they didn't think so."
"I doubt I'd enjoy having crap thrown at me, nevermind taking one to the face. Eurgh ..."
"That's what's gonna happen if you threaten Steve with a gun."
"Why was he threatening him?"
"He did bruise up Karl Miller pretty bad. Nothing too sinister, but Miller'll feel sore in the morning."
"So what you're saying is that the Hessen weren't unprovoked in their use of the tranquilliser gun?"
"That's not the point! They cheated and they know it."
"Yeeeeah ... I don't think the chances of a successful appeal are very high."
"I still think they're dirty cheats."
"Yeah well you also thought there's a country called Miley World."
"There so is!"
"Suuure ... idiot."

[The Sarian]

Rear Commodore Gregory Hurtz put down the phone, he had just spoken to the Chief Executive himself. The Chief Executive. Gregory Hurtz was not a young man, he had been in the submariner branch of the Sarian Imperial Navy for nearly thirty years, and he was giddy about talking to a man on the phone.

Gregory had not been ashore when the general election was going on - he was patrolling the Isle of Tench looking for pesky Yttribians - but if he was, he would have voted for the Chief Executive's Florican Party without thinking. They promised a strong Sarian, one where no-one stood up for it.

Upon receiving the phone call, he knew the Chief Executives words were true. Picking up the phone again, he dialed for missile deck, "Chief Newman, is that you?"

"Affirmative, sir." Chief Petty Officer Newman was an old man, who had been passed for promotion several times, but Gregory liked him, he knew who his master was.

"We have been given orders direct from the Chief Executive, CPO." Gregory couldn't help the smile that formed round his lips, he was just glad no-body was watching.

"They are sir?"

"Launch three cruise missiles at Crompton, he wishes Lojal to surrender within the day. We have orders to keep on firing one missile ever hour until the surrender, or until we run out."

"Sir, I have began prep for launch. In 5...4...3...2...1"

Suddenly, an alarm began to sound all around the submarine, "ERROR - ERROR - LAUNCHING ERROR - ERROR - ERROR - LAUNCHING ERROR"

Gregory was terrified, what was going on?

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT NEWMAN?"

"We've had a launching error, sir."

"I GATHERED THAT YOU FUCKING EEJIT, WHAT HAPPENED."

"Our missile navigation system has crashed, sir."

"So the launch has been aborted, how can I tell the Chief Executive that?"

"No sir, it has not been aborted. I fired it manually using co-ordinates on my phone." Gregory suddenly realised why Newman had been passed on so many promotions. He was an idiot.

"YOU FUCKER! The magnetism in the core means that GPS signals would be dispersed, you could have just fired a missile at anyone. ANYONE!"

[Electrum]

UNITV Interview - Lacrosse Championships Coverage

Tim Granada: It's me, Tim Granada again with a ripper lacrosse championship in store for you at home in Centralis University. As I'm sure you're well aware, the Centralis University lacrosse team has once again been selected to represent Electrum's national team in Vintomter. In their group is Korva, North Britonisea, whom they just lost to, Vintomter and The Serbian Empire. Joining me now, as always, is captain Louis Stephens.

Louis Stephens: Hello Tim, Centralis University and anyone watching!

Tim Granada: It was a surprise loss today, wasn't it? Losing against a new nation like that....

Louis Stephens: Yes, those North Britonish folk are very strange. I mean, we were really confidant after our win over Korva so to lose to an unexperienced team, one that recently seceded from their mainland, is a travesty by any standards.

Tim Granada: Just what went wrong today?

Louis Stephens: A mixture of complacency and expectation of victory, I guess. Our offense and midfield was probably the downside of our team. Maybe our thrashing of Korva made us be a little bit more complacent than what we usually are and I guess I have some blame for that too. The defense did an excellent job of getting those interceptions, but we just fumbled around with the ball and although the scoreline seemed close, we definitely missed a few opportunities.

Tim Granada: Mmm. You are of course the captain of an unexperienced team, with this being your second lacrosse championship. With that in mind, how did you secure funding from the Department of Sports?

Louis Stephens: Ah. I see what you mean. Well, as I'm sure you're aware, lacrosse isn't really a thing in Electrum, but it wasn't actually us that lobbied for the funding, but Rosalind Corby, the Minister for Sports handing it to us. They covered the travel expenses, a coach and all that. Turns out she was a lacrosse nut back in the day.

Tim Granada: No way! Do you think there's a spot for her on the team?

Louis Stephens: No! Haha.. I think she wouldn't accept that invitation.

Tim Granada: How's your new coach, by the way?

Louis Stephens: Ah yes. We all know him around the campus as Professor Galloway, but we just call him Coach Galloway. He likes playing rugby and hockey, so it made perfect sense for him to join us. We've been working on those intercepts and those ground balls and all that. He is so nice and he understands what our weaknesses are. Of course, we just hired him so we're testing the waters, but in time and under his close supervision, I reckon we can do well next time, and maybe this time too.

Tim Granada: OK, finally, let's talk about your next match against Vintomter.

Louis Stephens: I think there's something we learnt today, and that's underestimating our opposition. Obviously they have a home crowd around them, so it's going to be hard. I can't say what will happen, but we're quietly confident. They lost quite convincingly against The Serbian Empire, so to face us next is going to be a tall order for them as well. We're sitting in second at the moment, and that's where we want to stay.

[Darvale]

Part I - The Last Screw In The Coffin

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Rossana - The Rise and Fall of An Empire
Part II - Squad Five, 231st All Infantry Unit

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"We're there.", the car driver said, stopping the black SUV he, Noah Harris, and another unnamed soldier were sitting in for the past hour. The soldier opened the back door, where he had been sitting beside Harris for the 1 hour car journey from downtown Fairbanks to Fort Crompton. He waited for Harris to exit the car, and then closed the door shut before punching in a code on a dial beside a large, steel gate. The soldier walked past the gate, with Harris following him. Other soldiers and recruits were all around the fort, patiently waiting to be called into action.

Harris and the anonymous soldier turned into a small alley between two 2-storey buildings, and entered a small, ramshackle hut. "So I'm guessing you're Harris, eh?", a man, seemingly in his early fifties, said, lifting his head from a pile of dossiers placed on at the desk he was sitting at. "Oh, and thank you for accompanying the subject, Private Anderson.", the older man said, turning his head to the up-until-then unnamed soldier, who saluted and exited the hut. The older man then readdressed his attention to Harris. "So, Mr. Harris, before you begin your 7 day-long training session, let me explain a few things to you. First of all, let me introduce my self. I'm the Lieutenant Major Edward Sonzer, head of Fort Crompton."

"Considering the geographical position of this fort, Fort Crompton will be amongst the first Darvalian military installations to send military personnel to Rossana. With that in mind, you should also be prepared for anything - you could have your arm blasted off by an array of shotgun bullets, or a foot get torn off by a ground-trap at any moment. You should also be aware that there won't be a hotel for your to sleep in every time night comes around. In fact, you probably won't be sleeping any more during your time on the front line. Forget about "comfortable"."

"And lastly, the physical risk is extremely high - but you shouldn't forget about the emotional side, either. You could see the corpse of a young boy, who had his entire life ahead of him torn away, see innocent civilians being killed by a squad of soldiers, or soldiers of your own future squad being killed. To sum things up, war has no mercy, but really is a simplicity. The bravest wins. Dare, and the world yields. This is your last chance to escape the path of war - your fate lies in your hands, young man." Harris let Sonzer's words sink in before replying. "I'm ready.", was all Harris said.

One week later...

Harris tied the laces of his khaki boots tight. He had just woken up, and was nervously waiting for the training instructors' verdict - would Harris make it to the 231st All Infantry Unit? He exited the tent he had shared with 2 other recruits for the past week, and made his way to the center of the camp, where the verdicts would be called. "Gunner, Devon - Pass - Squad Four, 17th Heavy Infrantry Unit", a man, who Harris recognized to be Edward Sonzer, shouted out from a podium in the center of the camp.

"Hane, Seth - Pass - Squad Seven, 22nd All Infantry Unit", Harris knew that the names of the recruits were being called out in alphabetical order - he gulped as Sonzer shouted out the next name. "Harris, Noah - Pass - Squad Five, 231st All Infantry Unit". Harris deeply sighed in relief. He had passed. Harris was lead to one of the two -storey buildings beside the alley that lead to the old hut Sonzer used as an office, and was given his official rifle, along with a dog tag and a few other pieces of equipment. He was then lead to a separate room, where there was already a small group of new soldiers. Harris was then informed that this was where the shads would be called out.

"Squad Four, 231st All Infantry Unit. Captain Anton Hewett, Corporal Kyle Johnson, Corporal Victor Wade, Private James Davids, Private Ramon Matthews, Private Ron Farrell, and Private Ian Colton.", an instructing officer called out from the center of the room. 7 men followed another instructor out of the room. "Now -", the instructing officer announcing the squad selections was interrupted by another instructor that whispered something in the former's ear. The two men exchanged nods as the latter exited the room. "Sorry for the interruption, folks. Now, Squad Five, 231st All Infantry Unit. Captain Quentin Reynolds, Corporal Callum Stanley, Corporal Chester Granger, Private Sylvester Lean, Private Tom Adler, Private Noah Harris, and Private Benjamin Cunningham." Harris gulped as he was led out of the room.

The seven men were lead into another, brightly-lit room. Four other squads were already there. Another instructor walked to the front of the room. "Squads One, Two, Three, Four, and Five - 231st All Infantry Unit. First of all, congratulations on making it into the Royal Darvalian Army. Second of all, this will be the first time all of the privates and most of the corporals here will be seeing battle. I am passing on these orders to you from the Commander-in-Chief of the Royal Darvalian Armed Forces, James Marvin."

"The squads that all of you entirely comprise of will be the first forces sent to invade Rossana, or, more precisely, Schlausenbach, the 3rd largest city of Rossana. You will be covered by some air force assets, and a few more rounds of ground troops will be sent after you. You will be transported to Sclausenbach via helicopter, and you are to make your way down to Helipad 04 immediately." And with that, the 35 men marched down in silence to Helipad 04. Squad Five entered Helicopter Unit Viper Seven. "Amen", Harris said as he took a last look at his country as Viper Seven flew away into the air.

[The Serbian Empire]

Serbs Knock Off Host Team 13-4

The offense is slowing down, but the defense seemed to come through tying the old record for fewest goals allowed in a game with a mere four. That would be due to the fact the Serbs pulled rapidly out on a 9-1 run before halftime even came into play. That changed the team's focus to a defensive blockade to keep the opponent from coming back. It worked as the opponent scored thrice while the Serbs tacked on four more goals. Effectively, five defense players were out for much of the game with only three attackers and a center. Often it's how the goalie is performing that controls the tempo of the game for the later stages thus resulting in games which can look like nobody was defending at all such as the opener against North Britonsea where some thirty-six goals were posted.

This game had half the scoring with Nikola Vukovic scoring seven of the thirteen goals. Besnik Hoxha posted his first goal of the tournament right from the faceoff. His shot is said to have been one of the most powerful in recent memory although often wildly inaccurate to the point that he rarely posts more than a goal or two in tournament play. In fact, some would compare him to the low scoring players who win lots of faceoffs in the NHL like Paul Gaustad on grass. That would be a fair comparison given his hockey career in the Serbian Hockey League is that of a faceoff specialist with a faceoff win percentage of 61.3%. Yes, the game of lacrosse in the Serbian Empire is essentially organized as off-season practice for ice hockey even if the games are actually quite different.