NATION

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[WITHDRAWN] Liberate Canada

A chamber dedicated to the dissemination of inter-regional peace and goodwill, via force if necessary.
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Feux
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[WITHDRAWN] Liberate Canada

Postby Feux » Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:38 pm

Note to Mods: Any and all material from this draft is allowed to be used however officials from the Canadian government see fit in their attempt to draft their own liberation, and will no way be seen by me as an attempt to steal my work. I have given them permission to do whatever they like with my draft.

I was asked to write this, so I did. Probably looking to submit soon, but there are a few things I would like reviewed quickly, otherwise I will probably just remove them. They are below in the proposal. Be on the look out for any mistakes, I am known for a typo here and there. Suggestions, edits, changes, whatever are always welcome and I always appreciate the help. I'll list you as a co-author if you have anything to add or reword. Hm. I think that is everything. Anyway, proposal:




Disheartened by the terrible occupation in which Canada finds itself under, at risk of losing everything the respected region has gained during its extensive history;

Believing such dismay should be brought to an end whenever the international community is capable of doing so, and that such action to end this chaos entirely mirrors the Security Council’s mission of spreading peace and goodwill;

Noting Canada has been in existence longer than most regions within the international community, and that such existence is exemplified by its antique structure - rare amongst regions today - that Canada adheres to, which most believe is a perceivable quality alone;

Frightened by the certainty that if the Security Council does not act to assist in the deliverance of the region, many more natives will be cast aside from their homeland, and forced to seek refuge else where with little hope of returning;

Anticipating the Canadian community will once again return to a prosperous and beautiful territory, but only with the assistance of a liberation resolution and further help from the international community to reestablish harmony;

Respecting the principles of neutrality Canada has adhered to for more than a decade, an extremely impressive record by most standards and matched by very few;

Pleading for the opportunity liberation will bring to a community held hostage to an invading force, allowing members of notable organizations such as the Founderless Regions Alliance, the United Defenders League, and Ten-Thousand Island Treaty Organization to ensure security within Canada;

Judging - without a doubt - that the community within Canada is well worth preservation, embodying an ancient time, and serving as an exemplar of an outstanding community, not empowered with a founder, standing the test of time;

Further Believing a liberation to be the key for achieving a lasting peace within Canada, allowing the natives to restore order and decide their own direction with the security of the region – if they so chose to;

Hereby Liberates: Canada





Like I said, any suggestions and rewordings are welcome.
Last edited by Feux on Thu Aug 21, 2014 6:38 pm, edited 12 times in total.
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Karpathos
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Postby Karpathos » Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:41 pm

Finkle wants some dinkle.

Do it.

Do it.

For. It's perfect, Feux is perfect.

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Lexicor
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Postby Lexicor » Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:45 pm

Frightened by the certainty that by Security Council inaction , many more natives will be cast aside from their homeland, and be forced to seek refuge elsewhere with little hope or returning;


Shortened this clause a bit. Otherwise no objections and full support.
Last edited by Lexicor on Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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The Lands of Dixie
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Postby The Lands of Dixie » Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:47 pm

Feux wrote:I was asked to write this, so I did. Probably looking to submit soon, but there are a few things I would like reviewed quickly, otherwise I will probably just remove them. They are below in the proposal. Be on the look out for any mistakes, I am known for a typo here and there. Suggestions, edits, changes, whatever are always welcome and I always appreciate the help. I'll list you as a co-author if you have anything to add or reword. Hm. I think that is everything. Anyway, proposal:




Disheartened by the terrible occupation in which Canada finds itself under, at risk of losing everything the respected region has gained during its extensive history;

Believing such dismay should be brought to an end whenever the international community is capable of doing so, and that such action to end this chaos entirely mirrors the Security Council’s mission of spreading peace and goodwill;

Noting Canada has been in existence longer than most regions within the international community, and that such existence is exemplified by its antique structure - rare amongst regions today - that Canada adheres to, which most believe is a perceivable quality alone;

Frightened by the certainty that if the Security Council does act quickly to assist in the deliverance of the region, many more members of the local community will be cast aside from their homeland, and focused to seek refuge else where with little hope or returning;

Anticipating the Canadian community will once again return to a prosperous and beautiful territory, but only with the assistance of a liberation resolution and further help from the international community to reestablish harmony;

Respecting the principles of neutrality Canada has adhered to for more than a decade, an extremely impressive record by most standards and matched by very few;

Pleading for the opportunity liberation will bring to a community held hostage to an invading focus, allowing members of notable organizations such as the Founderless Regions Alliance, the United Defenders League, and Ten-Thousand Island Treaty Organization to ensure security within Canada;

  • Alright, here is where I want to stand some ground. I was told it may not be legal to list defender organizations like I have, but if you can list the invades I see little reason why you can't list the guys helping out. If it is against the rules though, I'll remove that bit. I just didn't want to entirely concede.

Judging - without a doubt - that the community within Canada is well worth preservation, embodying an ancient time, and serving as an exemplar of an outstanding community, not empowered with a founder, standing the test of time;

Further Believing a liberation to be the key for achieving a lasting peace within Canada, allowing the natives to restore order and decide their own direction with the security of the region – if they so chose to;

Hereby Liberates: Canada





Like I said, any suggestions and rewordings are welcome.

That honestly looks perfect, in my opinion. No complaints.

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Feux
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Postby Feux » Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:06 pm

Lexicor wrote:
Frightened by the certainty that by Security Council inaction , many more natives will be cast aside from their homeland, and be forced to seek refuge elsewhere with little hope or returning;


Shortened this clause a bit. Otherwise no objections and full support.

Thanks for the suggestion! I made a few edits to shorten it up a bit in the draft.

EDIT: And thank you Dix.
Last edited by Feux on Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Alpenburg
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Postby Alpenburg » Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:20 pm

For.

Should you list the invading parties? Otherwise, excellent work. As an exiled resident of Canada, I hope this proposal passes.
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Funkadelia
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Postby Funkadelia » Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:28 pm

You go girl.
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Feux
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Postby Feux » Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:30 pm

Alpenburg wrote:For.

Should you list the invading parties? Otherwise, excellent work. As an exiled resident of Canada, I hope this proposal passes.

Thank you. Also, I actually tried to avoid using the particular names of the invader parties so they wouldn't get any more advertisement than they are already getting in a resolution designed to help Canada and not the bad guys. But if you still would like them included, I will place them within the proposal.
Last edited by Feux on Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Ainin
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Postby Ainin » Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:33 pm

Full support.
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Alpenburg
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Postby Alpenburg » Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:15 am

Feux wrote:
Alpenburg wrote:For.

Should you list the invading parties? Otherwise, excellent work. As an exiled resident of Canada, I hope this proposal passes.

Thank you. Also, I actually tried to avoid using the particular names of the invader parties so they wouldn't get any more advertisement than they are already getting in a resolution designed to help Canada and not the bad guys. But if you still would like them included, I will place them within the proposal.


Good point. I'd say hold off on it unless others think the raiders should be named.
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Feux
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Postby Feux » Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:15 am

Alpenburg wrote:
Feux wrote:Thank you. Also, I actually tried to avoid using the particular names of the invader parties so they wouldn't get any more advertisement than they are already getting in a resolution designed to help Canada and not the bad guys. But if you still would like them included, I will place them within the proposal.


Good point. I'd say hold off on it unless others think the raiders should be named.

Will do!
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Union of Kiwi Socialists
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Postby Union of Kiwi Socialists » Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:19 am

Supported, this is well written.

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Brithenia
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Postby Brithenia » Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:24 am

The word "focus" needs to be changed to "force" in two places.
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Feux
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Postby Feux » Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:26 am

Brithenia wrote:The word "focus" needs to be changed to "force" in two places.

Fixed. Thank you.
Last edited by Feux on Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Mallorea and Riva
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Postby Mallorea and Riva » Wed Aug 13, 2014 3:18 am

Names the defender orgs who will do nothing if this passes, but not the groups responsible? Booooooooo weak.
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Ananke II
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Postby Ananke II » Wed Aug 13, 2014 4:36 am

Why post a 2nd draft thread, when the natives are already working on a liberation resolution themselves? viewtopic.php?f=24&t=308142

Wouldn't it make more sense to help Almonaster Nuevo and Devil Heart improve their draft?

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Ramaeus
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Postby Ramaeus » Wed Aug 13, 2014 4:42 am

Ananke II wrote:Why post a 2nd draft thread, when the natives are already working on a liberation resolution themselves? http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic ... 4&t=308142

Wouldn't it make more sense to help Almonaster Nuevo and Devil Heart improve their draft?

My guess would be speed and efficiency. Feux knows what he's doing, so he'll be able to draft this quicker and ensure that the process is relatively mistake free.
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Ananke II
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Postby Ananke II » Wed Aug 13, 2014 4:50 am

The Canada natives are getting advice and help from others though to make sure things go smoothly and well, it is their region. ;) Seems like they've got a right to be part of the process, if they want to.

Anyway, I just want to make sure that Feux has discussed the draft with people in Canada's cabinet before submitting. :)
Last edited by Ananke II on Wed Aug 13, 2014 4:52 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Karpathos
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Postby Karpathos » Wed Aug 13, 2014 6:38 am

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Feux
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Postby Feux » Wed Aug 13, 2014 6:52 am

Mallorea and Riva wrote:Names the defender orgs who will do nothing if this passes, but not the groups responsible? Booooooooo weak.

Did you miss my note under it? Your a mod, tell me if it is legal. :P

Ramaeus wrote:
Ananke II wrote:Why post a 2nd draft thread, when the natives are already working on a liberation resolution themselves? viewtopic.php?f=24&t=308142

Wouldn't it make more sense to help Almonaster Nuevo and Devil Heart improve their draft?

My guess would be speed and efficiency. Feux knows what he's doing, so he'll be able to draft this quicker and ensure that the process is relatively mistake free.


That, and I was asked to write it by some defenders should they need it. Natives are welcome to play a role, I'll even draft a repeal for someone from canda to submit if they want. In the end, the affect of the resolution is the same whether a native drafted it or not, it just appeared to me that the native draft was evolving into everyone else's draft anyway - so much advise was being given - so I saw no harm in posting my draft, which I consider well written and entirely open to any changes Canada's government wants to make to it.
Last edited by Feux on Wed Aug 13, 2014 6:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Sedgistan
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Postby Sedgistan » Wed Aug 13, 2014 7:06 am

Feux wrote:Pleading for the opportunity liberation will bring to a community held hostage to an invading force, allowing members of notable organizations such as the Founderless Regions Alliance, the United Defenders League, and Ten-Thousand Island Treaty Organization to ensure security within Canada;

  • Alright, here is where I want to stand some ground. I was told it may not be legal to list defender organizations like I have, but if you can list the invades I see little reason why you can't list the guys helping out. If it is against the rules though, I'll remove that bit. I just didn't want to entirely concede.

There's nothing illegal about naming regions/organisations in a proposal.

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Mallorea and Riva
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Postby Mallorea and Riva » Wed Aug 13, 2014 7:17 am

Feux wrote:
Mallorea and Riva wrote:Names the defender orgs who will do nothing if this passes, but not the groups responsible? Booooooooo weak.

Did you miss my note under it? Your a mod, tell me if it is legal. :P
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Karpathos
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Postby Karpathos » Wed Aug 13, 2014 7:27 am

Sedgistan wrote:
Feux wrote:Pleading for the opportunity liberation will bring to a community held hostage to an invading force, allowing members of notable organizations such as the Founderless Regions Alliance, the United Defenders League, and Ten-Thousand Island Treaty Organization to ensure security within Canada;

  • Alright, here is where I want to stand some ground. I was told it may not be legal to list defender organizations like I have, but if you can list the invades I see little reason why you can't list the guys helping out. If it is against the rules though, I'll remove that bit. I just didn't want to entirely concede.

There's nothing illegal about naming regions/organisations in a proposal.


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[/spoiler]
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Frattastan II
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Postby Frattastan II » Wed Aug 13, 2014 8:04 am

What speed and efficiency? No proposal would go to vote before four days, and the native proposal would certainly be submitted and reach quorum within that time.

Their proposal is written just as well, and coming from estabilished resdents is even more likely to win support. This proposal adds no substance or more compelling arguments that could led someone to prefer it over the Devil Heart one, whether "some defenders" wanted it or not.
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Feux
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Postby Feux » Wed Aug 13, 2014 8:23 am

Sedgistan wrote:
Feux wrote:Pleading for the opportunity liberation will bring to a community held hostage to an invading force, allowing members of notable organizations such as the Founderless Regions Alliance, the United Defenders League, and Ten-Thousand Island Treaty Organization to ensure security within Canada;

  • Alright, here is where I want to stand some ground. I was told it may not be legal to list defender organizations like I have, but if you can list the invades I see little reason why you can't list the guys helping out. If it is against the rules though, I'll remove that bit. I just didn't want to entirely concede.

There's nothing illegal about naming regions/organisations in a proposal.

Thank you Sedge! I did all that worry for nothing Karp. Ha.
Frattastan II wrote:What speed and efficiency? No proposal would go to vote before four days, and the native proposal would certainly be submitted and reach quorum within that time.

Their proposal is written just as well, and coming from estabilished resdents is even more likely to win support. This proposal adds no substance or more compelling arguments that could led someone to prefer it over the Devil Heart one, whether "some defenders" wanted it or not.


I prefer it over Devil Heart's, so not entirely true Fratt. :P In the end, it doesn't matter to me as long as the job is done.
Last edited by Feux on Wed Aug 13, 2014 8:38 am, edited 2 times in total.
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