Will Whore Out RP for Imaginary Money

[Nightkill the Emperor]

As some of you may know, I manage an rp known as Elfen High. It is among P2TM's oldest roleplays and has a long history.

I'm not sure how to explain Elfen High.

Nat, NEI, explain Elfen High.

OK, so you know Harry Potter? Forget it, because it's nothing like that.

Right. So there's this school. It's only sort of a school, though, because the last time anyone went to class after the first day was in 1926, and they got lost on the way to the bathrooms.

It's a magic school, in England, near London. There's a lot of magic, but there isn't a lot of school. It's run by Aleister Crowley (but not that one), who is the greatest hedonist to have ever lived, while also the most powerful wizard in the world. Surprisingly, this works. The staff is made up of psychopaths. Entirely. The one sanest one was a drunk half-orc who abandoned his son. Then you have the students, who are stuck-up, snotty, bratty, hormonal, and completely fucking stupid.

Everyone hates everyone, except when someone else hurts one of them, at which point the entire school beats that someone to death.

There are angels, and there are demons. They live, collectively, in Heaven - a despotic theocracy, Hell - a wasteland of the bizarre and bloodthirsty warlords who make Genghis Khan look like an amateur, and Heavensgate - a colony of Heaven's in Hell, which is the most progressive out of the three in that not everyone's life is shit (usually). They all hate each other, and humanity, and it's Elfen High's job to keep everything peaceful. Elfen High does this by being drunk (everyone, all the time), late, and inexplicably naked.

Also, there are these abominations from before time called the Fae, who are trying to kill everyone, everywhere. And then's there another abomination who is trying to kill everyone, everywhere, but even more so, called Leviathan. And then Satan and God are in there somewhere, but no one really knows how. Nor does anyone care, because they're all crippled emotionally and are shitfaced.

Also, there are dick jokes. Mainly dick jokes.

Now, let's get to the point. I will whore out my work of two years if you give me imaginary money. I have looked deep inside myself and realised I have absolutely no standards, and will gladly corrupt my magnum opus on this site for money that is valid for one day.

Whoever gives me the highest number of Bytecoins by day's end can submit a character based on themselves to Elfen High. This character will interact once with the Archangel Lucifer himself, and he/she will personally be killed off by the Big Bad, Oberon, King of the Fae.

Thank you very much.

Some IC links to give you a sense of quality.

viewtopic.php?p=18744436#p18744436
viewtopic.php?p=18771129#p18771129

Invest in the exchange, so I can better track how much everyone's bid and if they actually did.

[Hobbesistan]

1 dorrar!

[The BranRiech]

I don't have any Bytecoins, and won't, but I'll give you all the ones I don't have.

[The Grey Wolf]

I'll bite.

[Torsiedelle]

Sounds cool.

[Nationstatelandsville]

As some of you may know, I manage an rp known as Elfen High. It is among P2TM's oldest roleplays and has a long history.

OK, so you know Harry Potter? Forget it, because it's nothing like that.

Right. So there's this school. It's only sort of a school, though, because the last time anyone went to class after the first day was in 1926, and they got lost on the way to the bathrooms.

It's a magic school, in England, near London. There's a lot of magic, but there isn't a lot of school. It's run by Aleister Crowley (but not that one), who is the greatest hedonist to have ever lived, while also the most powerful wizard in the world. Surprisingly, this works. The staff is made up of psychopaths. Entirely. The one sanest one was a drunk half-orc who abandoned his son. Then you have the students, who are stuck-up, snotty, bratty, hormonal, and completely fucking stupid.

Everyone hates everyone, except when someone else hurts one of them, at which point the entire school beats that someone to death.

There are angels, and there are demons. They live, collectively, in Heaven - a despotic theocracy, Hell - a wasteland of the bizarre and bloodthirsty warlords who make Genghis Khan look like an amateur, and Heavensgate - a colony of Heaven's in Hell, which is the most progressive out of the three in that not everyone's life is shit (usually). They all hate each other, and humanity, and it's Elfen High's job to keep everything peaceful. Elfen High does this by being drunk (everyone, all the time), late, and inexplicably naked.

Also, there are these abominations from before time called the Fae, who are trying to kill everyone, everywhere. And then's there another abomination who is trying to kill everyone, everywhere, but even more so, called Leviathan. And then Satan and God are in there somewhere, but no one really knows how. Nor does anyone care, because they're all crippled emotionally and are shitfaced.

Also, there are dick jokes. Mainly dick jokes.

Now, let's get to the point. I will whore out my work of two years if you give me imaginary money. I have looked deep inside myself and realised I have absolutely no standards, and will gladly corrupt my magnum opus on this site for money that is valid for one day.

Whoever gives me the highest number of Bytecoins by day's end can submit a character based on themselves to Elfen High. This character will interact once with the Archangel Lucifer himself, and he/she will personally be killed off by the Big Bad, Oberon, King of the Fae.

Thank you very much.

As Khan's assistant, I feel I should tell you that I one hundred percent support this plan.*

*NOTE: This agreement is non-binding in the eyes of the law. It is entirely verbal and carries no weight in court. Krishna Khan™ has no legal duty to fulfill the terms of this agreement, nor the legal authority to form binding contracts without the express permission of the Parliament of the Republic of India and both Co-Princes of Andorra. Krishna Khan™ may not create any legally binding agreements except in the company of noted thespian Christopher Lee, for fear of life imprisonment. The name of the Hell-King Ba'al must be invoked thrice with a tribute of goat blood before the beginning of any legal counsel sought with Krishna Khan™, lest your lands be consumed by locusts. Any legal agreement created with Krishna Khan™ is subject to change under current economic, political, and laziness conditions; contractees will be notified two weeks beforehand and provided with full reimbursement of their investment, if possible. If you develop an erection lasting four hours or longer, well, you're fucked, I guess. E pluribius unum. Krishna Khan™ is a registered trademark of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan.

[The Grey Wolf]

As some of you may know, I manage an rp known as Elfen High. It is among P2TM's oldest roleplays and has a long history.

Now, let's get to the point. I will whore out my work of two years if you give me imaginary money. I have looked deep inside myself and realised I have absolutely no standards, and will gladly corrupt my magnum opus on this site for money that is valid for one day.

Whoever gives me the highest number of Bytecoins by day's end can submit a character based on themselves to Elfen High. This character will interact once with the Archangel Lucifer himself, and he/she will personally be killed off by the Big Bad, Oberon, King of the Fae.

Thank you very much.

As Khan's assistant, I feel I should tell you that I one hundred percent support this plan.*

*NOTE: This agreement is non-binding in the eyes of the law. It is entirely verbal and carries no weight in court. Krishna Khan™ has no legal duty to fulfill the terms of this agreement, nor the legal authority to form binding contracts without the express permission of the Parliament of the Republic of India and both Co-Princes of Andorra. Krishna Khan™ may not create any legally binding agreements except in the company of noted thespian Christopher Lee, for fear of life imprisonment. The name of the Hell-King Ba'al must be invoked thrice with a tribute of goat blood before the beginning of any legal counsel sought with Krishna Khan™, lest your lands be consumed by locusts. Any legal agreement created with Krishna Khan™ is subject to change under current economic, political, and laziness conditions; contractees will be notified two weeks beforehand and provided with full reimbursement of their investment, if possible. If you develop an erection lasting four hours or longer, well, you're fucked, I guess. E pluribius unum. Krishna Khan™ is a registered trademark of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan.

Krishna Khan sounds like a badass band name.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Krishna Khan™ is a registered trademark of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan.[/size]

I'm too amused to want your corpse.

[Nationstatelandsville]

As Khan's assistant, I feel I should tell you that I one hundred percent support this plan.*

*NOTE: This agreement is non-binding in the eyes of the law. It is entirely verbal and carries no weight in court. Krishna Khan™ has no legal duty to fulfill the terms of this agreement, nor the legal authority to form binding contracts without the express permission of the Parliament of the Republic of India and both Co-Princes of Andorra. Krishna Khan™ may not create any legally binding agreements except in the company of noted thespian Christopher Lee, for fear of life imprisonment. The name of the Hell-King Ba'al must be invoked thrice with a tribute of goat blood before the beginning of any legal counsel sought with Krishna Khan™, lest your lands be consumed by locusts. Any legal agreement created with Krishna Khan™ is subject to change under current economic, political, and laziness conditions; contractees will be notified two weeks beforehand and provided with full reimbursement of their investment, if possible. If you develop an erection lasting four hours or longer, well, you're fucked, I guess. E pluribius unum. Krishna Khan™ is a registered trademark of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan.

Krishna Khan sounds like a badass band name.*

*NOTE: Band names subject to federal investigation on charges of tax evasion. Restrictions may apply.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Nat, explain how it's badass to be killed by Oberon.

[The Grey Wolf]

Krishna Khan™ is a registered trademark of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan.[/size]

I'm too amused to want your corpse.

You want his soul?

[The BranRiech]

So . . . Do I win, or what.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Nat, explain how it's badass to be killed by Oberon.

He's King of the Fae.

He's punched the Devil out a few times.

He fought God and only lost because God is a dirty, dirty cheater. And so's Merlin.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Nat, explain how it's badass to be killed by Oberon.

He's King of the Fae.

He's punched the Devil out a few times.

He fought God and only lost because God is a dirty, dirty cheater. And so's Merlin.

To explain, in order to keep this guy from killing everything and everyone, we had to reboot the universe.

[Tubastan]

I will give you -100,000,000,000,000,000 Bytecoins. (if you look at the absolute value, then that's a lot*

*- Will not give absolute value

[Nightkill the Emperor]

So . . . Do I win, or what.

Nope. You need to give bytecoins.

[Nationstatelandsville]

He's King of the Fae.

He's punched the Devil out a few times.

He fought God and only lost because God is a dirty, dirty cheater. And so's Merlin.

To explain, in order to keep this guy from killing everything and everyone, we had to reboot the universe.

Oberon found this mildly annoying.

[The Grey Wolf]

So . . . Do I win, or what.

Nope. You need to give bytecoins.

I'll bid 5.000.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Nope. You need to give bytecoins.

I'll bid 5.000.

We got a 5! Who can go higher?

[Nightkill the Emperor]

I have added IC links to OP to provide a sense of EH quality.

[The BranRiech]

Whelp, then it's proof that NS will just fall apart as soon as someone adds a joke mechanic.

[Grenartia]

Krishna Khan™ is a registered trademark of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan.

Totally fucking sigging.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

As some of you may know, I manage an rp known as Elfen High. It is among P2TM's oldest roleplays and has a long history.

Now, let's get to the point. I will whore out my work of two years if you give me imaginary money. I have looked deep inside myself and realised I have absolutely no standards, and will gladly corrupt my magnum opus on this site for money that is valid for one day.

Whoever gives me the highest number of Bytecoins by day's end can submit a character based on themselves to Elfen High. This character will interact once with the Archangel Lucifer himself, and he/she will personally be killed off by the Big Bad, Oberon, King of the Fae.

Thank you very much.

As Khan's assistant, I feel I should tell you that I one hundred percent support this plan.*

*NOTE: This agreement is non-binding in the eyes of the law. It is entirely verbal and carries no weight in court. Krishna Khan™ has no legal duty to fulfill the terms of this agreement, nor the legal authority to form binding contracts without the express permission of the Parliament of the Republic of India and both Co-Princes of Andorra. Krishna Khan™ may not create any legally binding agreements except in the company of noted thespian Christopher Lee, for fear of life imprisonment. The name of the Hell-King Ba'al must be invoked thrice with a tribute of goat blood before the beginning of any legal counsel sought with Krishna Khan™, lest your lands be consumed by locusts. Any legal agreement created with Krishna Khan™ is subject to change under current economic, political, and laziness conditions; contractees will be notified two weeks beforehand and provided with full reimbursement of their investment, if possible. If you develop an erection lasting four hours or longer, well, you're fucked, I guess. E pluribius unum. Krishna Khan™ is a registered trademark of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan.

I do enjoy that add on.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Seriously.

Invest in me.

[Hobbesistan]

7.00