The Fall of Elfen High (IC, Closed)

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Several angels suddenly were whacked by an angry redhead.

Daisuke had an erection.

When they landed on the "ground", Crowley rushed over.

"How are your injuries?" he asked, resting his hands on Megan's stomach and firing in healing energy.

"I! AM! BURNT!" Lewis shouted, his skin now as red as a boiled lobster - not unlike his hair.

"Cunt," Megan coughed, a bit of blood trickling out of the edge of her lips, "I'm fine, Crowley, leave me be. You're busy."

Lewis's eyes darted around the Library; fixating on his cane, he bolted towards it, into an open area. The guards, no doubt, were very deeply interested in the shooting him; to make this more difficult, he snatched up a piece of broken shelf and held it up by his chest, so as to act as a shield.

Crowley immediately buggered off, running...ahead of the angels, bisecting one with a sword. Then he kept moving forward, feeling some sort of sense inside him telling him precisely where to go. The others wouldn't feel it, but he certainly did, unsure of where it was coming from.

The angel he bisected, however, fluttered its eyes briefly, before making a very familiar beeping noise.

It proceeded to explode, creating more cracks in the ground, causing pieces to fall down into the lava below and making the terrain even worse. "Follow after me!" barked Crowley, some ISSR soldiers doing so.

Several angels suddenly were whacked by an angry redhead.

Daisuke had an erection.

Much to the pleasure of both Daisuke and his Iron Man, the angry redhead's rampage was far from over. Now that she was with the angels, and, by association, over solid, continuous ground, she proceeded to use her metal table slash giant metal shield to bash the shit out of one unlucky angel, pummeling him into the ground before using her table leg slash metallic battle rod to impale his chest.

"Sorry for having to do this, but it's what one gets when one gets turned into something Alia wouldn't fuck." Ciel stated. She was lying, of course. Such a being probably didn't exist anywhere in the Omniverse, but there was no point in explaining that to an angel, of all things. So instead of bothering, she simply tried to snatch his weapon.

Ciel did indeed get its weapon - but the angel began beeping, as these modified ones did after death. Daisuke flew in, grabbed Ciel and whisked her away from the two metre radius blast, which further damaged the terrain around them. It hit a nearby bookshelf, resulting in burnt or burning pages fluttering in the breeze. Daisuke dropped Ciel back off on a relatively safe part of the ground, blasting the angels from a distance now, knocking some out and knocking some dead. (To be followed by a bang).

"We need to follow Crowley." he said. "No idea where the fuck he's going, admittedly."

[Nude East Ireland]

"I haven't met many African gods; that's probably why," he replied. "In my time, a good number of gods have survived. Not enough, evidently."

He sighed, feeling once more like he had a terrible hangover.

"Yep. Anyway, let's go now."

A snap of fingers, and suddenly, Jerusalem.

No, wait, it wasn't. Damien saw Jerusalem briefly fizz into vision, the temples and war and carnage around him, but it suddenly fizzed away...and was replaced by him sitting on the floor, watching Gabriel, Gabriella, Caspian, Ivy and Gwen come toward them. He would recognise only Ivy among this group, and nobody here would recognise him.

Gabriel - or a strange blond man to Damien - pulled out a sword and pointed it at the Egyptian. "You? Who the fuck are you, where are you here?"

Damien - a strange Egyptian man to Gabriel - pulled out a sword and pointed it at the Angel. "I could ask the same question," he replied. "My name is Damien Seward. Or, it was. Somehow I've taken control of my new incarnation's life and I'm trying to find out why. Last I knew, I was heading for Fae War Jerusalem. Now who the fuck are you?"

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Meanwhile, in Mecca.

There was a fierce competition. Watchers sweated, worrying about what was occurring. In the cave, a fierce and deadly battle was commencing as the reserve forces waited.

Norack looked up grimly at his foe, Nintendo DS in hand. "Sceptile. Attack Alastor's Pokemon with Solar Beam." the orc declared.

[Nude East Ireland]

Meanwhile, in Mecca.

There was a fierce competition. Watchers sweated, worrying about what was occurring. In the cave, a fierce and deadly battle was commencing as the reserve forces waited.

Norack looked up grimly at his foe, Nintendo DS in hand. "Sceptile. Attack Alastor's Pokemon with Solar Beam." the orc declared.

Seated in the crowd was Khana Krish, the crazed Indian thought to have died in the defence of Heavensgate in the Abrahamic War. Currently, he lived with his family and harem on a ranch in Wyoming.

"KICK THAT ORC'S GREEN ASSHOLE!" he yelled, shaking a fist full of rupees as he did.

[Zarkenis Ultima]

Ciel did indeed get its weapon - but the angel began beeping, as these modified ones did after death. Daisuke flew in, grabbed Ciel and whisked her away from the two metre radius blast, which further damaged the terrain around them. It hit a nearby bookshelf, resulting in burnt or burning pages fluttering in the breeze. Daisuke dropped Ciel back off on a relatively safe part of the ground, blasting the angels from a distance now, knocking some out and knocking some dead. (To be followed by a bang).

"We need to follow Crowley." he said. "No idea where the fuck he's going, admittedly."

Ciel idly listened to the beeping as she examined her new weapon. What the hell was that noise, anyway? Did someone bring about their alarm clock? Whatever, she didn't really care. She was busy glancing at Lily and Grace's fight and wondering what the hell she had to do to turn this thing into a chainsaw too. She was working on this when, suddenly, she felt an arm wrapping around her, her feet soon leaving the ground behind. "What the hell?" She thought briefly, before noticing the explosion that rocked the area where she had been just a few moments ago, coming from the corpse of the angel she had slain. "Oh, right."

After being dropped off, she merely nodded at Daisuke and ran after Crowley, poking her new weapon as she went, eventually managing to turn it into a chainsaw. She then proceeded to turn it back into a gun and shoot at the angels from afar while shielding herself with the metal table. Sure, having a chainsaw was cool, but it was hardly practical right now.

Meanwhile, in Mecca.

There was a fierce competition. Watchers sweated, worrying about what was occurring. In the cave, a fierce and deadly battle was commencing as the reserve forces waited.

Norack looked up grimly at his foe, Nintendo DS in hand. "Sceptile. Attack Alastor's Pokemon with Solar Beam." the orc declared.

"LORD MAGMADRINKER, THIS SCUM DARES ATTACK YOU! KICK ITS ASS WITH THE GLORIOUS FIRES OF HELL!" The Demon Lord exclaimed vehemently.

Lord Magmadrinker was a Blaziken. It was also female.

"My lord, you have to say the right name." A demon soldier reminded him.

"Ah, but where is the fun in that?" Alastor replied, receiving a shrug. "Tch. Fine. Attack Sceptile with Blaze Kick."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Ciel did indeed get its weapon - but the angel began beeping, as these modified ones did after death. Daisuke flew in, grabbed Ciel and whisked her away from the two metre radius blast, which further damaged the terrain around them. It hit a nearby bookshelf, resulting in burnt or burning pages fluttering in the breeze. Daisuke dropped Ciel back off on a relatively safe part of the ground, blasting the angels from a distance now, knocking some out and knocking some dead. (To be followed by a bang).

"We need to follow Crowley." he said. "No idea where the fuck he's going, admittedly."

Ciel idly listened to the beeping as she examined her new weapon. What the hell was that noise, anyway? Did someone bring about their alarm clock? Whatever, she didn't really care. She was busy glancing at Lily and Grace's fight and wondering what the hell she had to do to turn this thing into a chainsaw too. She was working on this when, suddenly, she felt an arm wrapping around her, her feet soon leaving the ground behind. "What the hell?" She thought briefly, before noticing the explosion that rocked the area where she had been just a few moments ago, coming from the corpse of the angel she had slain. "Oh, right."

After being dropped off, she merely nodded at Daisuke and ran after Crowley, poking her new weapon as she went, eventually managing to turn it into a chainsaw. She then proceeded to turn it back into a gun and shoot at the angels from afar while shielding herself with the metal table. Sure, having a chainsaw was cool, but it was hardly practical right now.

Meanwhile, in Mecca.

There was a fierce competition. Watchers sweated, worrying about what was occurring. In the cave, a fierce and deadly battle was commencing as the reserve forces waited.

Norack looked up grimly at his foe, Nintendo DS in hand. "Sceptile. Attack Alastor's Pokemon with Solar Beam." the orc declared.

"LORD MAGMADRINKER, THIS SCUM DARES ATTACK YOU! KICK ITS ASS WITH THE GLORIOUS FIRES OF HELL!" The Demon Lord exclaimed vehemently.

Lord Magmadrinker was a Blaziken. It was also female.

"My lord, you have to say the right name." A demon soldier reminded him.

"Ah, but where is the fun in that?" Alastor replied, receiving a shrug. "Tch. Fine. Attack Sceptile with Blaze Kick."

Sceptile was hit, but it wasn't a critical. However, it was super effective and lowered the health of the grass type by quite a lot.

Norack recalled Sceptile and sent out a Blastoise.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Several angels suddenly were whacked by an angry redhead.

Daisuke had an erection.

When they landed on the "ground", Crowley rushed over.

"How are your injuries?" he asked, resting his hands on Megan's stomach and firing in healing energy.

"I! AM! BURNT!" Lewis shouted, his skin now as red as a boiled lobster - not unlike his hair.

"Cunt," Megan coughed, a bit of blood trickling out of the edge of her lips, "I'm fine, Crowley, leave me be. You're busy."

Lewis's eyes darted around the Library; fixating on his cane, he bolted towards it, into an open area. The guards, no doubt, were very deeply interested in the shooting him; to make this more difficult, he snatched up a piece of broken shelf and held it up by his chest, so as to act as a shield.

William hastily complied with Aziraphale's request, aiming at the rear tear of the last slave transport, and pulled the trigger once. Excalibur softly whispered "pew" aloud as the blue blaster bolt issued forth from its barrel, rocketing towards its target and effortlessly punching through the tire.

"What the hell was the Oriental sex maniac thinking?" Excalibur thought to William.

"Well, we should probably start running," said William, ignoring his weapon for now as he began to follow his own advice, running towards the rear of the prisoner convoy.

Aziraphale wordlessly agreed, bolting after William. After a few yards, he vanished equally without a word, or any other indicator of his disappearance.

"Sodomy!" spat one of the caravan drivers, inspecting the popped wheel.

"We're going to be late," his partner concluded, reaching into the back for the spare wheel. He pulled a wooden rod from his side and beat back the slaves as he did so, cracking one upon the head and blinding him with blood. He pulled the wheel out and walked back to the side of the vehicle, to find his partner slumped over on his back, ichor flowing from his throat.

"Wha-" was all the angel could think before he was grabbed from behind, Aziraphale's arm wrapped around his head. With his free hand, Aziraphale drew from the air a knife of ice. He kicked the angel in the ass, forcing him to bounce upwards towards the knife, Aziraphale bringing it down into his throat with all his strength. Blood gushed out instantly, only more joining it as Aziraphale drew the blade across the flesh. The angel bit down into Aziraphale's arm, drawing his own blood; Aziraphale yelped. Not long after, Aziraphale dropped the angel's limp corpse to the ground. It was now that Aziraphale felt the barrel of a gun press into his back - he instinctually teleported away, but a millisecond before a bullet followed out after him. Aziraphale reappeared behind the third angel, grabbing the back of his head. Tendrils of his ice snaked their way down the angel's temples as his head froze; once nothing but a brittle statue, Aziraphale crushed it.

He made his way back to the slaves and raised his finger to his mouth, "Shh." They complied.

Calliel was not having a fun day. First off, he was finally back home. Finally back in Heaven. But it wasn't home, not anymore, not truly. It was something else altogether, something that horrified him. The angel felt lost and confused, more than usual. He wanted to be back home, but he increasingly felt there was none for him.

He had gone along with the group, silent and trapped in his own thoughts. Then Aziraphale killed one of their brothers.

He grabbed Aziraphale's arm, glaring into his eyes, and sending a telepathic message. What the fuck are you doing? he demanded.

[Zarkenis Ultima]

Sceptile was hit, but it wasn't a critical. However, it was super effective and lowered the health of the grass type by quite a lot.

Norack recalled Sceptile and sent out a Blastoise.

"Fear not, Lord Magmadrinker! This brute believes that his knowledge of the elements will spare him from defeat, but that is false! We are invincible! Now, attack! Flame Blitz!" Alastor shouted.

"...Sir, that's not a good-" A soldier began, but was interrupted swiftly.

"Look, shut up. I'm here for the explosions." The Demon Lord stated.

[Constaniana]

Ciel idly listened to the beeping as she examined her new weapon. What the hell was that noise, anyway? Did someone bring about their alarm clock? Whatever, she didn't really care. She was busy glancing at Lily and Grace's fight and wondering what the hell she had to do to turn this thing into a chainsaw too. She was working on this when, suddenly, she felt an arm wrapping around her, her feet soon leaving the ground behind. "What the hell?" She thought briefly, before noticing the explosion that rocked the area where she had been just a few moments ago, coming from the corpse of the angel she had slain. "Oh, right."

After being dropped off, she merely nodded at Daisuke and ran after Crowley, poking her new weapon as she went, eventually managing to turn it into a chainsaw. She then proceeded to turn it back into a gun and shoot at the angels from afar while shielding herself with the metal table. Sure, having a chainsaw was cool, but it was hardly practical right now.



"LORD MAGMADRINKER, THIS SCUM DARES ATTACK YOU! KICK ITS ASS WITH THE GLORIOUS FIRES OF HELL!" The Demon Lord exclaimed vehemently.

Lord Magmadrinker was a Blaziken. It was also female.

"My lord, you have to say the right name." A demon soldier reminded him.

"Ah, but where is the fun in that?" Alastor replied, receiving a shrug. "Tch. Fine. Attack Sceptile with Blaze Kick."

Sceptile was hit, but it wasn't a critical. However, it was super effective and lowered the health of the grass type by quite a lot.

Norack recalled Sceptile and sent out a Blastoise.

And suddenly, a challenger appeared. In walked a man in his early 30's, clad in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts, whose ethnicity could only be described non-hispanic. He looked at the battle and grinned.

"I fight the winner, bitches," said Dunefiend.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Sceptile was hit, but it wasn't a critical. However, it was super effective and lowered the health of the grass type by quite a lot.

Norack recalled Sceptile and sent out a Blastoise.

"Fear not, Lord Magmadrinker! This brute believes that his knowledge of the elements will spare him from defeat, but that is false! We are invincible! Now, attack! Flame Blitz!" Alastor shouted.

"...Sir, that's not a good-" A soldier began, but was interrupted swiftly.

"Look, shut up. I'm here for the explosions." The Demon Lord stated.

The Flame Blitz did barely any damage.

On the other hand, Blastoise's Hydro Pump was super effective and a critical, knocking Lord Magmadrinker down to red health.

Sceptile was hit, but it wasn't a critical. However, it was super effective and lowered the health of the grass type by quite a lot.

Norack recalled Sceptile and sent out a Blastoise.

And suddenly, a challenger appeared. In walked a man in his early 30's, clad in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts, whose ethnicity could only be described non-hispanic. He looked at the battle and grinned.

"I fight the winner, bitches," said Dunefiend.

Everyone ignored Dunefiend together, while one confused man paused and asked "Wait, this isn't Yu-gi-oh?"

[Zarkenis Ultima]

"I'm glad you asked!" Alastor said to the man who made the question, before revealing a dueling disk on his hand and flipping one card. "Fiendish Chain!" He shouted, chains coming out and restraining the Blastoise, impeding it from attacking again. "Now, Blaziken, Blaze Kick!"

[Nationstatelandsville]

"I! AM! BURNT!" Lewis shouted, his skin now as red as a boiled lobster - not unlike his hair.

"Cunt," Megan coughed, a bit of blood trickling out of the edge of her lips, "I'm fine, Crowley, leave me be. You're busy."

Lewis's eyes darted around the Library; fixating on his cane, he bolted towards it, into an open area. The guards, no doubt, were very deeply interested in the shooting him; to make this more difficult, he snatched up a piece of broken shelf and held it up by his chest, so as to act as a shield.


Aziraphale wordlessly agreed, bolting after William. After a few yards, he vanished equally without a word, or any other indicator of his disappearance.

"Sodomy!" spat one of the caravan drivers, inspecting the popped wheel.

"We're going to be late," his partner concluded, reaching into the back for the spare wheel. He pulled a wooden rod from his side and beat back the slaves as he did so, cracking one upon the head and blinding him with blood. He pulled the wheel out and walked back to the side of the vehicle, to find his partner slumped over on his back, ichor flowing from his throat.

"Wha-" was all the angel could think before he was grabbed from behind, Aziraphale's arm wrapped around his head. With his free hand, Aziraphale drew from the air a knife of ice. He kicked the angel in the ass, forcing him to bounce upwards towards the knife, Aziraphale bringing it down into his throat with all his strength. Blood gushed out instantly, only more joining it as Aziraphale drew the blade across the flesh. The angel bit down into Aziraphale's arm, drawing his own blood; Aziraphale yelped. Not long after, Aziraphale dropped the angel's limp corpse to the ground. It was now that Aziraphale felt the barrel of a gun press into his back - he instinctually teleported away, but a millisecond before a bullet followed out after him. Aziraphale reappeared behind the third angel, grabbing the back of his head. Tendrils of his ice snaked their way down the angel's temples as his head froze; once nothing but a brittle statue, Aziraphale crushed it.

He made his way back to the slaves and raised his finger to his mouth, "Shh." They complied.

Calliel was not having a fun day. First off, he was finally back home. Finally back in Heaven. But it wasn't home, not anymore, not truly. It was something else altogether, something that horrified him. The angel felt lost and confused, more than usual. He wanted to be back home, but he increasingly felt there was none for him.

He had gone along with the group, silent and trapped in his own thoughts. Then Aziraphale killed one of their brothers.

He grabbed Aziraphale's arm, glaring into his eyes, and sending a telepathic message. What the fuck are you doing? he demanded.

Saving the world. What are you doing?

Aziraphale smiled something simple, something almost wicked, and broke from Calliel's grip. He turned his back on the other angel and looked towards the slave, who looked on in silence.

"Did somebody bring popcorn? The floorlickers are gonna' fight!" asked one in the ancient tongue of the peoples native to the Mississippi; one so obscure, not even Aziraphale spoke it. He was quite lucky for that fact.

"Now," Aziraphale said in the language of Heaven - soft and high, lilting and light - as he opened the backdoor of the caravan, "leave. Be silent. Be swift. The angels will not notice you if you are."

The slaves immediately complied, disappearing into the dark.

"Get in," Aziraphale ordered the others, "You as well, Raphael. No one can know you're here, they'll recognize you."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

"I'm glad you asked!" Alastor said to the man who made the question, before revealing a dueling disk on his hand and flipping one card. "Fiendish Chain!" He shouted, chains coming out and restraining the Blastoise, impeding it from attacking again. "Now, Blaziken, Blaze Kick!"

Norack pulled out his own dueling disk. "I see you're intent on playing this game the hard way, advanced rules." the ancient orc noted with a chuckle. "Very well then. You just activated my trap card. Crowley's Basement!"

Blaziken was grabbed by chains pulling the screaming Pokemon down into the Earth, doors opening and a grinning hologram of Crowley waiting on the other side, before the doors closed.

Blaziken was sent to Alastor's graveyard, and a damaged Blastoise freed from the chains.

[Zarkenis Ultima]

Norack pulled out his own dueling disk. "I see you're intent on playing this game the hard way, advanced rules." the ancient orc noted with a chuckle. "Very well then. You just activated my trap card. Crowley's Basement!"

Blaziken was grabbed by chains pulling the screaming Pokemon down into the Earth, doors opening and a grinning hologram of Crowley waiting on the other side, before the doors closed.

Blaziken was sent to Alastor's graveyard, and a damaged Blastoise freed from the chains.

Alastor blinked a couple times.

"I'm fairly sure that shit's banned. But if that's the case..." Alastor said, and then made his draw, before setting down a green card, face up.

"Reign of tentacles!" He shouted. Suddenly, a dark portal opened, several tentacles emerging from it and doing unholy things to Blastoise, until such a point that Blastoise came to be under Alastor's control, sprouting tentacles of his own. "Now, attack my newborn minion!"

[Nationstatelandsville]

Norack pulled out his own dueling disk. "I see you're intent on playing this game the hard way, advanced rules." the ancient orc noted with a chuckle. "Very well then. You just activated my trap card. Crowley's Basement!"

Blaziken was grabbed by chains pulling the screaming Pokemon down into the Earth, doors opening and a grinning hologram of Crowley waiting on the other side, before the doors closed.

Blaziken was sent to Alastor's graveyard, and a damaged Blastoise freed from the chains.

Alastor blinked a couple times.

"I'm fairly sure that shit's banned. But if that's the case..." Alastor said, and then made his draw, before setting down a green card, face up.

"Reign of tentacles!" He shouted. Suddenly, a dark portal opened, several tentacles emerging from it and doing unholy things to Blastoise, until such a point that Blastoise came to be under Alastor's control, sprouting tentacles of his own. "Now, attack my newborn minion!"

The mummy's eye twitched.

"By the love of all the gods," he whimpered, "this is unholy."

"What, ho!" shouted one Nick Bottom, throwing his cape of red velvet about emphatically, "Parry! Parry! Dodge! Parry!"

Bottom collapsed onto his seat with a hearty laugh, elbowing the mummy in his ribs, "Smile, good friend! Is this not fun?"

"I don't know you," the mummy muttered.

"Ho!" Bottom suddenly shouted, "Good Norack, like the butterfly, float! Henceforth, call upon the bee and sting!"

The mummy removed a clump of popcorn from his bag and crunched down on it; the kernels promptly embedded themselves in his gummy flesh. He yelped.

"Thank thee, sirrah!" Bottom said enthusiastically, tearing the popcorn from the mummy's hands and swallowing it all at once. The mummy sighed.

[Constaniana]

"You can't mix franchises like that, yon dickweeds," Dunefiend protested, disgusted by what was going on. He took some Bakugan out of his pocket and began tossing them at Norack and Alastor, drawing his own dueling disk out of his pocket. "Go, Shaq Hickory Jordan!"

Out came a Tyrannitar, which immediately dicked with everybody with its Sand Stream ability.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Calliel was not having a fun day. First off, he was finally back home. Finally back in Heaven. But it wasn't home, not anymore, not truly. It was something else altogether, something that horrified him. The angel felt lost and confused, more than usual. He wanted to be back home, but he increasingly felt there was none for him.

He had gone along with the group, silent and trapped in his own thoughts. Then Aziraphale killed one of their brothers.

He grabbed Aziraphale's arm, glaring into his eyes, and sending a telepathic message. What the fuck are you doing? he demanded.

Saving the world. What are you doing?

Aziraphale smiled something simple, something almost wicked, and broke from Calliel's grip. He turned his back on the other angel and looked towards the slave, who looked on in silence.

"Did somebody bring popcorn? The floorlickers are gonna' fight!" asked one in the ancient tongue of the peoples native to the Mississippi; one so obscure, not even Aziraphale spoke it. He was quite lucky for that fact.

"Now," Aziraphale said in the language of Heaven - soft and high, lilting and light - as he opened the backdoor of the caravan, "leave. Be silent. Be swift. The angels will not notice you if you are."

The slaves immediately complied, disappearing into the dark.

"Get in," Aziraphale ordered the others, "You as well, Raphael. No one can know you're here, they'll recognize you."

Raphael frowned. "Are you certain?" he asked, shifting into the shape of a tall Chinese man to better disguise himself. He then paused. "Never mind. I will trust you. I'll keep in telepathic communication if necessary. Good luck." he said, going along with the slaves.

Calliel stared at his old friend. "What the hell." he said audibly. "I hope you know what you're doing, Aziraphale."

[Nationstatelandsville]

Saving the world. What are you doing?

Aziraphale smiled something simple, something almost wicked, and broke from Calliel's grip. He turned his back on the other angel and looked towards the slave, who looked on in silence.

"Did somebody bring popcorn? The floorlickers are gonna' fight!" asked one in the ancient tongue of the peoples native to the Mississippi; one so obscure, not even Aziraphale spoke it. He was quite lucky for that fact.

"Now," Aziraphale said in the language of Heaven - soft and high, lilting and light - as he opened the backdoor of the caravan, "leave. Be silent. Be swift. The angels will not notice you if you are."

The slaves immediately complied, disappearing into the dark.

"Get in," Aziraphale ordered the others, "You as well, Raphael. No one can know you're here, they'll recognize you."

Raphael frowned. "Are you certain?" he asked, shifting into the shape of a tall Chinese man to better disguise himself. He then paused. "Never mind. I will trust you. I'll keep in telepathic communication if necessary. Good luck." he said, going along with the slaves.

Calliel stared at his old friend. "What the hell." he said audibly. "I hope you know what you're doing, Aziraphale."

"Of course I do," Aziraphale said, "why wouldn't I?"

He removed from two of the dead a silver bracelet, tossing one to Calliel and slipping the other onto his own wrist.

"Glorified ID badges," he explained, "We'll need them to open the camp gates. I can handle the guards; just don't, under any circumstances, make eye contact with them. And do not be afraid to kill me."

Aziraphale threw open the driver's side door and stepped inside, "Get in. Humans and other potpourri, in the back."

[Constaniana]

Sir Nilark climbed in the back of the vehicle, as Excalibur returned to its usual sword shape. He glanced at the weapon for a moment before telepathically addressing it once more.

You know, the guards are bound to notice a sword. It'd be best if you shifted to something not likely to get confiscated.

"You're right. How about the bikini?"

"That's a terrible idea. I was thinking the torch," William replied, rolling his eyes.

"Right, sure, terrible idea, hm? What if Hilde suggested it? Do you have a special night of the week for that sort of thing?"

"You've been badgering me about my sex life for the past ten years, and my answer is still you're never hearing a peep of it, you pervy git," the Yorkshireman indignantly fumed through telepathy, "And don't be ridiculous. We have no such night at all. Why do you bother me about this?"

"Look, mate. I used to be able to make the people who held me for more than five minutes go bloody mental and start carrying out genocides at the drop of a hat. I've come to terms with you not slipping into murderous psychopathy, but you can't blame me for still trying to get into people's heads, can you? Old habits die hard, and all that," Excalibur grumbled, though it complied with William's request to turn into a torch.

[Zarkenis Ultima]

"You can't mix franchises like that, yon dickweeds," Dunefiend protested, disgusted by what was going on. He took some Bakugan out of his pocket and began tossing them at Norack and Alastor, drawing his own dueling disk out of his pocket. "Go, Shaq Hickory Jordan!"

Out came a Tyrannitar, which immediately dicked with everybody with its Sand Stream ability.

Before the Tyrannitar did anything to him, Alastor paused. "Three-way duel? Now that is something far too defiant of the game's original rules, don't you think?" He complained.

Before promptly shrugging. "Ah, whatever." He said, summoning a Kuriboh that began humping Dunefiend's leg.

---

Frederick, for the most part, ignored the others as he got up into the caravan, followed by his penguin contingent, and sat down next to William.

"You, torch-wielding saxon boy, if somebody dares to ask, I was your uncle until I went missing in action during the Abrahamic War, when I was augmented, and these no longer work. Understood?" He asked, raising his arms as if to clarify and then regarding him with a raised eyebrow.

[Swith Witherward]

Fen (well, at least it might be Fen, although she had sincerely and utterly checked out for a moment or two) climbed into the back along with the rest and plunked down between Raphael and Sir William. She looked at the man and then the guise Raphael had taken. It worked, she hoped.

The Polynesian still hadn't spoken. This wasn't because of Aziraphale's earlier advice but simply because she couldn't remember what the hell she'd done with herself over the last few minutes. Apparently Sir William had dispatched the tire. She hunched down in the seat, shouldered her pack a bit better and allowed her mind to ruminate over things.

[Constaniana]

"Right, no problem, Uncle Trevor," William replied, nodding, "And I was killed in action protecting Buckingham Palace from Azazel. It's not like there's any other good explanation for why I'd be down here wearing this."

He looked at Fen for a few moments, wondering if she was alright. The knight mentally shrugged, figuring she was simply taking Aziraphale's advice to heart. William then glanced at Fred's subjects, raising an eyebrow at them.

"How are you going to explain all the penguins, though?" The Yorkshireman asked.

[Zarkenis Ultima]

"How are you going to explain all the penguins, though?" The Yorkshireman asked.

Frederick shrugged. "I don't really have to. As far as anyone is concerned they have no relation to me. If they are in here, then evidently the angel slavers thought that they would be useful and snatched them along with the rest of us." He explained. "Isn't that right?" He asked afterwards, turning to the penguins who merely nodded energetically.

[Agritum]

"I believe that we should hurry up and follow the headmaster, Lily!" Grace yelled in her usual tone of voice, before ducking down and narrowly avoiding a flying burning book which was about to hit her right in the face.

The Liverpudlian girl promptly jumped on the side of a shelf, hanging from it like from a ledge, and offering Lily her hand. "Here, we can climb over the shelves and get away from there before the lava consumes everything. Take my hand, I'll boost you up!"

[Agritum]

"Yep. Anyway, let's go now."

A snap of fingers, and suddenly, Jerusalem.

No, wait, it wasn't. Damien saw Jerusalem briefly fizz into vision, the temples and war and carnage around him, but it suddenly fizzed away...and was replaced by him sitting on the floor, watching Gabriel, Gabriella, Caspian, Ivy and Gwen come toward them. He would recognise only Ivy among this group, and nobody here would recognise him.

Gabriel - or a strange blond man to Damien - pulled out a sword and pointed it at the Egyptian. "You? Who the fuck are you, where are you here?"

Damien - a strange Egyptian man to Gabriel - pulled out a sword and pointed it at the Angel. "I could ask the same question," he replied. "My name is Damien Seward. Or, it was. Somehow I've taken control of my new incarnation's life and I'm trying to find out why. Last I knew, I was heading for Fae War Jerusalem. Now who the fuck are you?"

Gwen's Royal Guards promptly unsheathed their vibroswords in a menacing manner. Ouch.

The Queen herself smirked, crossing her arms "Myself? I'm Gwendolyn, Queen of the Britons, and these are the Archangel Gabriel, Gabriella, Ivy and Caspian. Coincidentally, we too were heading towards Jerusalem, before we were ambushed by a patrol of dragons. And now, Sir, please introduce yourself quickly. We've got a battle to fight." she replied.

"Oh, and Gabriel, you can find some star fighters down in the hangar bay, if you are interested in piloting one in battle."