World Cup 68 RP Thread

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Left-wing Utopia

World Cup 68 RP Thread

Postby Legalese » Sun Mar 16, 2014 11:52 am

The nations of Legalese and The Free Republics welcome you to…


The Official RP Thread of World Cup 68
Scores, however, are posted here

Welcome one and all, for it’s that time again. A time when the multiverse comes together to discover who is the finest in all the land at the game of association football. Or soccer. Or hoofball. Or mass chaos, as some would call it.

The teams are set, and our field of 32 is in place. The Finals Draw, conducted recently, was as follows:

Group A
German American States

Group B
The Holy Empire
Northern Sunrise Islands

Group C

Group D
The Licentian Isles

Group E
Free Republics
San Jose Guayabal
New Sideburn

Group F
Blouman Empire
The Royal Barangay

Group G
Polar Islandstates
United Gordonopia

Group H
Neu Engollon

Regardless of what you call it, the journey begins here, with qualifying. Twenty-four groups of seven or eight will be formed, based on past record, with each side having a chance to host each of their groupmates, but also needing to survive a trip to each of them as well. When the dust is settled on the double round-robin, only three will remain: the group winners in a playoff tie amongst themselves for a trip to the finals, with the runners-up and third-placed sides in a playoff leg for their survival. For the group winners who don’t manage to escape after the first leg, a second-chance remains, as they’ll be drawn with the surviving winners from the runners-up pool to fill the last eighteen spots in the field of 32.

The Group Stage is over, leaving just the playoffs. First, the Group Winners, with the winners advancing to the World Cup Finals, and the less successful to return for the second tie:

Pasarga v Neu Engollon
Felix v Blouman Empire
Valladares v Zwangzug
Valanora v The Royal Barangay
Turori v United Gordonopia
Polar Islandstates v Barunia
Cassadaigua v Northern Sunrise Islands
Saintland v Jeruselem
Eura v Glaser
The Holy Empire v Super-Llamaland
Audioslavia v Sameba
Ko-oren v Mytannion

First Leg is hosted by the team on the right
Second Leg is hosted by the team on the left

And now the runners up, playing for survival:
Paradystopia v Jeru FC
Svengarda v Taeshan
Kinitaria v Maklohi Vai
Farfadillis v Ossidiacqua
Astograth v Sandwich Territories
Osarius v Milchama
Apox v The Licentian Isles
Buyan v Thatius
Starblaydia v McKleigh
Mizuyuki v Kalumba
San Jose Guayabal v Filopines
Equestrian States v Armakistan
Sargossa v Saugeais
Estope v Nexxus Drako
The Royal Kingdom of Quebec v Antoletia
Sicoutimont v Boring Paradise
The Archregimancy v Hutt River
Vilita v Kericia
New Montreal States v Kazamatsuri
West Angola v Vaugania
Darmen v Schiavonia
Kandorith v Kernansquillec
Eastfield Lodge v German American States
New Sideburn v The Inevitable Syndicate

First Leg is hosted by the team on the right
Second Leg is hosted by the team on the left

And now, the groups for qualifying:
Group 1
United Gordonopia
Jeru FC

Group 2
Sandwich Territories
The Fair Republic
Seraphic Empire

Group 3
The Holy Empire

Group 4
The Sarian
The Icemark
North Arabia

Group 5

Group 6
West Angola
Hutt River
Juan del Pastel
New Alderaan-Coruscant

Group 7
Crystal Empire
Nexxus Drako
The Cabindan Free State

Group 8
Boring Paradise
Catholican Catholica
The Andromeda Islands

Group 9
New Montreal States
Maklohi Vai
Nouvel Ecosse

Group 10
Greater Watford
Dorado Grande

Group 11
The Paradystopi Lymryk Isles
Costa de Ouro

Group 12
Bears Armed
Arab County

Group 13
Neu Engollon

Group 14
Polar Islandstates
Eastfield Lodge
New Wolfopolis

Group 15
The Royal Kingdom of Quebec
Krad United

New North Aqmuland
The greater Vakolicci Haven
Arbeitsgemeinschaft Alpenlander

The Licentian Isles
San Jose Guayabal
Nova Anglicana
The Holy Forden Church
The Vilkings

The Inevitable Syndicate
The Royal Barangay
Star United States
New South Aqmuland
New Mumford

Northern Sunrise Islands

The Archregimancy
German American States

New Sideburn
Åsløtten-Bëðerbørg så Česky

Republic of Vietnam

Equestrian States
Gandham Islands

Blouman Empire
Total n Utter Inanity

Qualifying Schedule (Home Team is on Left):
3/24: MD1
1v8 2v7 3v6 4v5
3/25: MD2
8v5 6v4 7v3 1v2
3/26: MD3
2v8 3v1 4v7 5v6
3/27: MD4
8v6 7v5 1v4 2v3
3/28: MD5
3v8 4v2 5v1 6v7
3/29: MD6
8v7 1v6 2v5 3v4
3/30: MD7
4v8 5v3 6v2 7v1
3/31 & 4/1: Mid-Qualifying Break
4/2-4/7: MD8-MD13
Pairings Are Reverse of Days 1-7 (as in, MD8 features same teams as MD1, with the home side reversed, etc.)
4/8: Postpenultimate Group Stage Match Break
4/9 : MD14
4/10 & 4/11: Playoff Round - First Ties
Group Winners' Side will be over two legs, with the winners advancing to the World Cup Final, and the losers continuing to the second tie
Runners' Up Side will be over two legs, with the winners advancing to the second tie, and the losers being eliminated from contention
4/12 & 4/13: Playoff Round - Second Ties
Ties will be over two legs, with the winners advancing to the World Cup

Groups A-D will play in Legalese, and be scorinated by the Free Republics.
Groups E-H will play in the Free Republics, and be scorinated by Legalese

4/16: World Cup Finals Draw
Draw will be live on IRC at Stay tuned for more information
4/18: Finals Match Day 1
1 v 4 2 v 3
4/20: Finals Match Day 2
4 v 3 1 v 2
4/22: Finals Match Day 3
2 v 4 3 v 1
4/24: Round of 16
A1 v B2 C1 v D2 B1 v A2 D1 v C2 E1 v F2 G1 v H2 F1 v E2 H1 v G2
4/26: Quarterfinals
R16A v R16B R16C v R16D R16E v R16F R16G v R16H
4/28: Semifinals
QF1 v QF2 QF3 v QF4
4/29: World Cup Third Place Match
At Soccer Palace, Petrograd, Plymouth, Free Republics
(Scorinated by Free Republics)

4/30: The World Cup 68 Final
At National Stadium, Legalese City
(Scorinated by Legalese)

Matches scorinated by Legalese will score between 9 PM and 11 PM, Eastern Daylight Time (UTC -4) on the day posted above. Matches scorinated by Free Republics will score between 7 PM and 9 PM Eastern Daylight Time (UTC -4) on the day posted above. Remember that your time zone is likely different than ours.

The Hosts Reserve the right to amend the schedule as needed, and will give due notice should this be required.
Last edited by Legalese on Wed Apr 16, 2014 6:21 pm, edited 12 times in total.
Legalese proudly calls Atlantian Oceania its home!
AO: It's not just a place, it's THE PLACE

Winner of Cup of Harmony 55 and Jeremy Jaffacake Jamboree II
NS Sports' Primary Proponent of the Casaran System Tournament
Host/Co-Host of:
World Cup XXII and LXVIII
Cup of Harmony XI and XIII
Baptism of Fire IX, XIV, XV, XVI, XLII, LII

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Posts: 623
Founded: Sep 12, 2004
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Legalese » Sun Mar 16, 2014 11:53 am

About Legalese

Legalese is a nation in the Northeast of Atlantian Oceania. Some may call it hallowed, while others may use other pejoratives for it, but regardless, it is the Northeast. The vast majority of the nation, called by Those Who Track Such Things as “Gargantuan”, and “Safe” – the latter likely more important for travelers for the festivities surrounding World Cup 68 – resides on the even-more hallowed subcontinent of Calania, bordering the mighty Bekk; though roughly one-third of Legalese’s total area and no more than a quarter of its population live on the slightly more isolated and pastoral lands of the Karin Isles, with the entirety of the Islanders living on the main Island, the other isle providing little more than an “s” to the name of the collective landmasses.

The History of Legalese is varied, spending vast amounts of time in near obscurity, and others in turmoil and growth. The latter is the general perception at the moment, the most recent occupation – the terrible war known in the region as Operation Galactica – an old memory, slowly fading as the fortunes and economy of the Legalites rise, especially in comparison to their neighbors to the north. Ask the average Legalite, and they would likely be extremely disappointed that the Starblaydi did not qualify for the finals, if only for the chance to subtly rub the success of the Legalite life in their noses.

But enough about our return to relevance, eh? Let’s talk association football – or soccer, if you prefer.

For organizing the groups, the Federation of Association Football – the organizing body for the National Team and Domestic Competitions in Legalese, better known simply as The Federation – chose to group the ten stadia that would be hosting the group stage and knockout rounds into five sections, based on geography. The sections, along with the containing stadia, are as follows:

The West (MD 1: Group D; MD2: Group B; MD3: Group C)

Coastal Pitch, Sagdineo. Sagdineo is one of Legalese’s oldest and most well-known settlements. It is the largest city on the Bekk, and the third-largest in the nation. In addition to its current place in the national scene as a frequent home for film and television production, it has a bit of history, as the site of the famed Battle of Sagdineo, fought between the occupying forces of Starblaydia and the former Allied States.

As for Coastal Pitch itself, it is based in not exactly the most hospitable part of town, a drained swamp known as Wilson Gulch. The current iteration of the Pitch is named after Coastal University, the school that helped fund its reconstruction, and shares with the the National League sides, Coastal United and Bekknia Athletic. Seating 67,982, the east stand provides a stunning view of the Lake.

Mallahar International Stadium, Okerson. Okerson is about what you would expect for a place between the major hub of Legalese City and a stunning area like Sagdineo – just kind of there. While rural in nature on the edges of town and outside the city limits, Okerson is a community that rose up out of necessity, with the biggest boom coming post-Galactica, as a border town that was one of the biggest contributors in terms of people to the armed forces.

The main stadium in town, Mallahar International, was named after the late chair of Okerson United, Johan Mallahar. He added the term “International” to the name as a joke, stating that building a brand new pitch would put the city on the map. Congrats, Johan, you’ve finally done it. Mallahar seats 52,193, the majority concentrated on the west stand, set to be taller as a sun block.

The Plains/Central (MD1: Group B; MD 2: Group D)

Plainsview Arena, Plainsview. There’s, admittedly, little to say about Plainsview that the name doesn’t cover. Officially, the historic records behind the existence of the city are lost to time and memory, but the locals like to say that it exists because it has to.
One thing that the City can tout, however, is two successful professional sides. Bob’s Towing, in spite of an odd name, emerged at the start of the modern era as Legalese’s most successful side, winning the first National Championship, and being the first side to make it to the group stage of any UICA competition. Their star has since faded, but Towing remains a mainstay in the top division. Additionally, the city is home to the Plainsview Panthers, who also call the Arena home; unlike Towing, the Panthers had to claw their way up through the second division, but like Towing, have an M-League title to their name.
The Arena itself, it should be noted, normally does not carry the city name, though as a condition of hosting matches ,the sponsor of the arena – who happens to be the footwear supplier for Towing – agreed to have their name temporarily taken off of the site for the duration of the World Cup. It is a fairly standard bowl arena, seating approx. 55,000 all around, with a roof covering the seating areas.

Wicker Park, Binchensburg. Binchensburg is what best can be described as a blue-collar town. Best known as the home of a good chunk of the nation’s manufacturing industries, the residents of the town are known more for a work hard, play hard, team. The philosophy tends to leak over in both the nature of the nightlife, where pub-style activity tends to outstrip nightclubs and dance parties in both number of options and number of patrons, as well as in the nature of the local clubs, Yellowjacket FC and Binchensburg Athletic. While neither is known for success, both are known for their hard-nosed, gritty style of play.

Wicker Park, up until recently, was similar in style – not quite Spartan, but certainly Utilitarian in design and amenities. The influx of support from the Government and Federation – along with a decision to formally ground-share the Park between the two sides, Athletic giving up their smaller home on the same field – led to an expanded and re-built park, growing the seating from 34,500 to 55,000, and adding additional features, including doubling both the number of concession and restroom facilities, and adding a few luxury boxes to the mix.

The North (MD2 : Group C; MD 3: Group A)

The Park of the Phoenix, Tiberia. Tiberia holds an odd distinction in Legalese. While attached to the oldest part, the in-between location led to it being a little later in terms of development. Furthering the oddity is the fact that Tiberia is named after a former Lord-Protector of Starblaydia – the father of the sitting Lord-Protector, in fact. In many ways, Tiberia represents the complicated relationship that Legalites have with their northern neighbor – not exactly fond of them, but cognizant of their historical importance, especially as some of the earliest Legalites came from the land that is now known as Starblaydia.

Naturally, The Park of the Phoenix also serves as an intentional stick in the eye to Starblaydia, a bit of international taunting in a way. Built for the 52nd Baptism of Fire Championship Match, it serves as both a sign of how far Legalese as come, as well as the home pitch to local club Tiberian City. The stadium features a retractable roof, which folds into a configuration meant to resemble flames rising from the arena, as well as a movable natural grass pitch, permitting games to be played indoors on a top-condition field, yet still provide the ability for the grass to grow and remain healthy even when the stadium needs to be used for other purposes. In total, 63,239 will have the chance to see the hosts in action on Matchday Three – in a game where a win may very well be vital – as well as the Semifinal for the Legalese side of the finals.

Protectorate Road, Tiberia. Interestingly, while City has the nice new pitch, the real dominant club in Tiberia are The Knights, whom have been the only Tiberian side to participate in National Championship matches, as well as UICA action. In fact, one of the locally-felt failings of former Federation President and current WCC Vice-President Bernie Wickerstaff, once the Chairman of The Knights, was his inability to secure the tenancy of The Knights of Tiberia in The Park of the Phoenix. This failing was nearly rectified before the bidding for World Cup 68 was completed, only to have the bid victory prompt a change in plans; rather than mothballing Protectorate Road, it would receive an upgrade, an expansion, and be a site for the Group Stage and Round of 16. Named for the road on which it sits, which happens to be the main strip in town and direct access to the border, the stadium seats 64,238.

The Coast (MD1: Group C, MD2: Group A, MD3: Group B)

City Stadium, Francis City. For all the history other parts of the nation may hold, Francis City may very well hold the most. It was the location of the first settlements that formed as a confluence of the early settling parties, forcing them to work side-by-side, which eventually evolved into the first government. While known at times as Francopolis and Quinfrancis (the latter remaining the name of the co-terminous county with the city limits), Francis City is the name we all know and love. And yet, they’ve been so recently bad at professional soccer, with no sides invited to join the National League in any of the first three seasons, with the Argyle Warriors finally breaking the curse in the most recently-completed season.

City Stadium was a product of this fight for relevance, built by the City as part of an aim to become
the site of future national team events, as well as the host to multiple Francis City - area clubs in future
domestic competition. It seats 52,132, using a rectangular style that contains no corner seating, but keeps
the fans close by stacking the three tiers of seats at a sharp angle. Upon revealing the design, the architect
commented that it "will provide the proper acoustics to make the stadium feel like there's
100,000 cheering on the home team". It has joined The Park of the Phoenix as one of the secondary homes for the National Team, and will see multiple matches throughout the competition.

Caerangelion, Numalia. Numalia serves as sort of a little brother to Francis City. Set to the north of the main city as a port town, it too grew as the fortunes of the area rose and fell, eventually gaining city status on their own. While similar to Binchensburg in its blue-collar roots, the proximity to Francis City gives the city a healthy mix of business that doesn’t rely totally on transportation, warehousing, and shipping. And yet, it still is not exactly the top place in anyone’s mind when it comes to nearly anything.

Where that “nearly” comes in, however, is on the pitch, where Draig Goch FC has been a mainstay in competition, including winning the last National League title. Their success on the pitch has come with a full house each week at their home pitch, Caerangelion, a term from the old Nom Le language literally meaning “Home of the Angels”, but generally translated to mean Memorial, as in Memorial Stadium. Built by the city and occupied by DGFC for over 20 years, the pre-cup renovations brought capacity to 49,254 in this simple bowl-configuration.

The Islands (MD1: Group A; MD3: Group D)

Community Park, Comunas. Comunas is a little-discussed city, the smallest locale to host a game in Legalese during this World Cup. Founded some fifty years ago, the port setting helped with its quick growth, though it is still outstripped by the central city of Tyrellia by threefold. The thing that has pushed Comunas, however, has been through the on-pitch success of the Comunas Cougars, who were the first winners of the Federation Open Cup. Since then, they have succeeded in winning two National Championships – in both cases being the only side to have won the National Championship and Champions Cup slot without winning the National League in the process. This growth and popularity of the game in Comunas was enough to have them included in the plans for the finals, with a significantly expanded stadium built in the form of Community Park. Seating 48,240 with four separate stands, the location is still the smallest any team will face in competition, but is also the one guaranteed to sell out.

The Coliseum, Tyrellia. While small by the standards of the rest of the nation – only Comunas is smaller among the World Cup host cities – Tyrellia’s history and status outstrip the relative size with great ease. Hailing back to the days of the Karin people, who once formed the nation of Casari, the city is as old, if not older than even Francis City in concept. That said, it is not believe that the modern iteration forms much of a true relationship with the original, save the existence of two major clubs in the city: International of Tyrellia, who play in the suburban local of International Pitch, and the oft-successful Tyrellian Titans, who play downtown in The Coliseum.

The Coliseum is an elliptical bowl stadium, designed with some of the same principles that were later used on Francis City’s City Stadium. Seating 63,254, The seating pitch and angle helps keep the sound inside the bowl, creating a deafening atmosphere for all who enter it – something that has both helped and hurt the Titans at home.

The Final
Where the five sections will rotate between each Group and host the majority of the Knockout matches, one match in particular is being saved for a special site. That match is, of course, the World Cup Final, and the site is National Stadium in Legalese City. Home to the Legalites in the modern era, as well as the home pitch for National League side LC Capitals, a total of 83,068 will have the chance to see the final two sides in action, as they duke it out for a chance to take home the World Cup.
Last edited by Legalese on Sat Apr 19, 2014 6:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Legalese proudly calls Atlantian Oceania its home!
AO: It's not just a place, it's THE PLACE

Winner of Cup of Harmony 55 and Jeremy Jaffacake Jamboree II
NS Sports' Primary Proponent of the Casaran System Tournament
Host/Co-Host of:
World Cup XXII and LXVIII
Cup of Harmony XI and XIII
Baptism of Fire IX, XIV, XV, XVI, XLII, LII

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Free Republics
Posts: 2863
Founded: May 03, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Free Republics » Sun Mar 16, 2014 11:53 am

Free Republics National Information

History of the Free Republics

The Federation of Free Republics was formed in 1767, following decades of revolutions in the World Changers region. In the previous few decades, there had been a wave of revolutions. The ideas of liberalism had become popular in the region, as Abram Schmitts, an economist from Shostistan, wrote several books promoting the benefits of capitalizm. Soon, absolute monarchies fell throughout the World Changers region. The Kingdom of Saintland remained unaffected by this wave of revolutions, due to its self-imposed isolation.

Following the revolutions, there were now many Republics scattered throughout the region. These Republics faced seemingly constant attempts from reactionary elements to reverse the revolution and bring back absolute monarchy. They also had trouble trading and communicating with one another. The newly free, with a lowercase f, Republics had numerous antiquated laws and contradictory systems of measurement in effect. A foot in Vorita was 2 feet in Amolotopia and a meter in Roxawa was a decimeter in Nejax. It was a total mess all around. This mess was made even worse by the multitude of languages spoken in the different Republics. As they sought to eliminate trade barriers and forge closer ties between one another, their efforts resulted in confusion. In the days of absolute monarchy, the inability to speak one another's language was a benefit, since kings were always waging wars against one another. However, as the Industrial Revolution heated up and brought an unprecedented degree of prosperity to the land, they could no longer maintain separate languages, separate measurements and the arcane laws and regulations that were hindering commerce in the region.

Then, a rebellion broke out in the Republic of Roxawa. The rebels sought to abolish all property, all laws and even government itself. Rampaging around the countryside, they attacked government buildings, vandalized property and stole whatever they felt like. All the while, they spoke of total freedom. Terrifying the Republic's well-armed militia into inaction, the rebel crime spree continued for weeks. Fear spread throughout the region that other "rebellions" of this sort would soon break out, providing the perfect excuse for the Federationists. The leaders of 77 Republics throughout the region agreed to send delegates to the city of Baseton in Amolotopia to discuss an appropriate response to the rebellion. This was a pretext, which was seized upon by the Federationists to push their "Constitution" scheme.

The Federationists proposed that a document called a "Constitution" would establish a new unified government of all of the Republics, known as the Federation Government. This would be a relatively weak government, as the Republics would remain mostly autonomous and generally free to do as they wished in governing themselves. The Federation Government would have an enumerated list of responsibilities, such as promoting commerce, maintaining a common foreign policy and common immigration policy and several other minor tasks, such as the option to establish a national postal system.

The Constitution guaranteed a number of fundamental rights. Among them are the rights to freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of assembly, freedom of religion and the right to own weapons for the defense not only of oneself and of the Federation, but also against tyranny. Other provisions of the Constitution prohibited unreasonable searches, cruel and unusual punishments and double jeopardy. The document also included a strict prohibition on the practice of slavery and declared immediately and permanently free any "slave" that was brought within any territory subject to the Free Republics. The Federation Government has the power to pass any legislation it deems necessary to free slaves. While ratification was controversial, due to the feeling among many people that the Federation Government was too powerful, it was eventually ratified by the electorate in each of the original 77 Republics. Today, there are the number of Republics in the Federation is well into the hundreds.

The Constitution created a bicameral Legislature and an executive branch where power is shared equally by the 2 heads of state. The Assembly is the popularly elected branch of the Legislature. Originally, it used a first-past-the-post system, but this was later changed to proportional representation after political parties and coalitions became the norm. The entire Assembly has always been up for re-election every second year. The Senate, by contrast, is a purely appointed branch and Senators serve for life terms. When a Senator is elected to another office, he becomes an inactive Senator, but other than such periods when he may serve in other offices, he is a Senator for life, without exception. Each Republic may appoint a new Senator every second year and Senators are appointed in the same years when Assembly elections are held. Finally, the Consuls are elected to 8 year terms, with a new Consul elected every 4th year. This means that every other Assembly election is held simultaneously with a Consul election. The Constitution prohibits any Consul from serving more than a single term per lifetime. Originally, Consuls were also elected first-past-the-post, but that has since changed to a 3 round system. In the first round, the top 2 candidates, plus any other candidates that get at least 10 percent of the vote advance, assuming that no candidate gets a majority of the vote. The second round sees the top 2 candidates advance, again assuming that nobody wins a majority of the votes cast. In the third and final round, whoever wins the majority of votes cast is elected. Both Consuls have and have always had full power to veto any act of the other and former Consuls automatically become Senators upon the expiration of their term in office.

The government of the Free Republics quickly moved to standardize the system of measurements used throughout the Federation and adopt English as the national language. To help transition the Federation to an English-speaking nation, the Federation Government established a system of schools funded by the Federation Government, which ensured that the next generation would speak English and identify themselves as Republicans, rather than identifying themselves by their home Republic and speaking their Republic's native language. A substantial minority of parents resisted this effort, but children were allowed to go to school and learn English, whether or not they had parental permission. By 1830, almost everybody spoke English and identified as a Republican, not an Amolotopian, Roxawan, Voritan, Schost or whatever the demonym was for their home Republic. This brought about a more unified society. Around this time, education was returned to the Republics, most of which eventually adopted a voucher based system.

The government also banned trade barriers between Republics. This was an expected and noncontroversial move. The funding of the government by a tariff also proved uncontroversial, since politicians generally agreed that the tariff should be limited to revenue only and not used to "protect" industries from competition. However, an income tax was eventually adopted as foreign imports began to dry up. The Republican economy was simply too much of a powerhouse to justify importing goods from abroad. Discontent with the income tax grew as the government kept pushing it higher and higher. Finally, Paul Musgrove ran for Consul on a platform of capping all taxes at 10 percent of income. After his election, the amendment passed both the Assembly and the Senate before being sent directly to referendum. Voters in every Republic overwhelmingly voted for it and it became a popular amendment.

In the 20th century, the Free Republics became even more of an economic powerhouse, thanks to the capitalizt economic system. Business thrived in the FFR, as the nation became progressively wealthier. Over the years, the FFR has expanded its territory while remaining on the cutting edge of technological advancement. In the present day, the Free Republics have a population in the billions and are one of the wealthiest nations in the multiverse, with a correspondingly high rate of income inequality. The exact population of the Free Republics is unknown, due to a Constitutional amendment adopted in 1934, which prohibited the taking of a Census by any entity, whether governmental or otherwise.

More recently, the Republican Military has grown increasingly powerful, after they obtained access to the treasury of a foreign government and went on a spending spree, buying up all kinds of advanced weaponry. These days, the Military is always trying to start a war somewhere and the multiverse is fortunate that they have yet to start a major war.


Just about every mode of transportation is an option in the Free Republics. Visitors for the World Bowl may arrive at any seaport or airport in the Free Republics. Planes and ships may also be used to travel between cities. As the Free Republics spans 4 continents and many thousands of miles, the use of planes is recommended for long-distance travel.

Several private companies offer high speed rail between cities. It is possible to travel through most of the Free Republics on high-speed rail, although in some places you may have to walk across the city to a competing company's station to go to your desired destination.

The use of bicycles, although unregulated, is not recommended. The Free Republics are simply too vast a nation, so players and fans that travel by bike risk missing a match altogether.

Taxis are available in every city that will be hosting World Cup matches. Most bus services cover a radius of less than 100 miles, so the use of buses is only recommended for short distance travel.

Automobiles are legal in the Free Republics and can be rented near any airport or seaport. Travel by automobile is possible to any nation located on one of the 4 continents upon which the Free Republics are located. However, as the only other nation from the World Changers region that competes in the World Cup at present is located on a remote arctic island several thousand miles to the north of the Free Republics, it is not possible to travel by automobile to-or-from the Free Republics and any other nation participating in the World Cup. Anybody who intends to rent a car is strongly encouraged to get a Republican drivers license, as foreign drivers licenses are only recognized in certain Republics. Most Republics will hand out a drivers license to anybody that applies and passes the driving test. The difficulty of these tests varies greatly by Republics. The test in Nejax is notoriously easy while the test in Amolotopia is notorious as one of the most difficult. Despite this, all Republics are required by Federation law to recognize out-of-Republic drivers licenses as valid. A wide variety of cars are commonly available in the Free Republics, such as SUVs, sports cars and pick-up trucks. Those that have money to burn may rent luxury cars or limos. The vast majority of cars on the road are produced in the Free Republics. Many roads, especially long distance roads, are underfunded and in poor condition, so planes and high speed rail are much more popular in the Free Republics.


There are numerous hotel firms throughout the Free Republics. Participating nations will be required to pay for their own lodging. Each nation drawn to compete in the Free Republics is encouraged to visit and purchase rooms before the rush. Those that wait may very well end up staying in a cheap motel with holes in the walls and bedbugs under the sheets.

Those national teams that do not wish to stay in hotels may stay at campgrounds outside of the host cities.


The Free Republics has a varied climate. In the north, it tends to be very cold during this time of the year, although it is still a little too early for snow. In the south, the climate is tropical. The World Cup will be held during the rainy season in the southern part of the Free Republics. Amolotopia is one of the more northern Republics while Roxawa tends to be toward the southern part of the Federation. A Republic such as Exastrium is in the middle, where they experience all 4 seasons, but only mild snow during winter.


The official language of the Free Republics and all government documents are printed in English. Most private businesses do not print anything in a non-English language. If somebody speaks a language other than English in public in the Free Republics, it is commonplace for bystanders to complain. Non-English languages are associated with immigrants and there is a not-insubstantial minority in the Free Republics who don't like immigrants very much. Judging by the fast rising poll numbers of the Party for National Greatness, who are leading in polling for the upcoming midterm elections, that minority is growing.


The Republican Thaler is the only widely accepted currency in the Free Republics. Financial institutions are generally willing to change Sanctii bullion, Acedonian Aces or Universal Standard Dollars into Thalers. Due to the large number of currencies in the world, it is impossible for financial institutions in the Free Republics to keep track of all of them. Therefore, it is highly recommend that everybody visiting the Free Republics get their currency converted into Thalers, USDs or bullion before entering the Free Republics. Non-Republican Thalers, such as the Taxachusetts Thaler (which currently has an annual inflation rate of around 50%), are not accepted as currency in the Free Republics and are not convertible into Republican Thalers.


There are a plethora of entertainment options in the Free Republics. Every quality hotel room comes equipped with cable or satellite television, including thousands of channels and an interactive program guide. No matter what your preferences, you can probably find something on Republican television that you'd want to watch. If you can't find anything to watch on TV, you can always log on to Sanctustube, a video sharing website from Saintland, and browse the uncensored version of the site, which has (illegal) copies of just about every television program and movie in the multiverse.

Virtually every town in the Free Republics includes a movie theater, which is a popular social hangout. Tickets are relatively inexpensive, to keep an endless flow of teenagers coming into the movie theaters. Concerts are held in the major cities on a near-daily basis and there are several popular groups in each major genre.

Nightclubs and bars are available in virtually every village, town or city in the entire Federation. The local laws do differ, but most Republics will allow anybody over the age of 15 or so to enter a bar or nightclub. Strip clubs and brothels are also popular, although the regulation of those establishments greatly differs in each Republic. Women should be forewarned that the definition of consent in the Free Republics is significantly looser than they may be used to.

At the present time, pro wrestling is a popular form of entertainment in the Free Republics, especially among guys between the ages of 13 and 30. The wrestling company in the Free Republics puts on extremely violent and sexualized shows. As their shows have grown more explicit, their ratings have steadily increased to the point where they are now one of the most popular programs on television in the Free Republics. The Republican Wrestling Conglomerate is currently in the middle of an international expansion and comments made on their television program have made international headlines in the past.

All players on all of the teams competing in the World Cup in the Free Republics will receive complimentary RepublicSoft Saint upon their arrival in the Free Republics. The Saint is an "interactive entertainment" handheld device which also has numerous features that are commonly found in smartphones. Every Saint will include a copy of the Bible and the Real Soccer Simulator. This will be the full version of the Real Soccer Simulator and it will include the World Cup 68 downloadable content.

Important Laws

For the most part, visiting teams and fans will not have to worry about any unusual laws in the Free Republics. While public nudity statutes remain on the books in many Republics and around half of the Republics restrict the use of hard drugs, pornography, prostitution, alcohol, tobacco and cannabis are generally legal. In fact, pornography is legal everywhere in the FFR, as it is recognized by the Federation courts as freedom of speech.

Some Republics have their share of silly laws. The Constitutional provision prohibiting "cruel and unusual punishment" does not have as strong of an effect as you might expect because the Federation courts use an 18th century definition of cruel and unusual punishment. While nobody's going to be hung, drawn and quartered or tortured for evidence, several backwater Republics do practice some rather bizarre punishments for crimes. If you're going to run into any legal problems, it will probably be in some backwater Republic, since they are the main power base of extremist politicians in the Free Republics.

In particular, women visiting the Free Republics should be mindful that sexual consent is defined slightly more broadly than they may be used to. The Free Republics is a very sex-positive culture for the most part and tends to look rather dimly upon false accusations of a sexual nature. The different sexual norms in the Free Republics have caused several international incidents in the past.


During the World Cup, there will be a total of 24 host stadiums and each stadium will host a single group stage match. 8 of those stadiums will also host a match during the knockout rounds.

Soccer Palace (MD2: Free Republics vs. Cassadaigua and 3PPO)

The Soccer Palace is located in Petrograd, Plymouth and seats 111,663. The Soccer Palace is a truly massive stadium, with plenty of room for future expansion. Petrograd is the center of the oil industry in the Free Republics. The Republic of Plymouth is located toward the south-western portion of the country.

Gem of the Oceans Stadium (MD1: Free Republics vs. New Sideburn and Semi-Final)

Located in Republica, the capitol of the Free Republics, Gem of the Oceans Stadium is a massive stadium that seats 101,208 fans. Gem of the Oceans Stadium is named after the National Anthem of the Free Republics. Republica is located near the center of the Free Republics, but is slightly north of the true center.

MilaneseDome (MD2: Polar Islandstates vs. Mytannion and QF: Free Republics vs. Mytannion)

The MilaneseDome is named after Virgilio Milanese, a former Consul of the Free Republics. Consul Milanese was born in the Republic of Keronama. The stadium seats 98,734 and is located in Wortana, Keronama. Keronama is toward the eastern part of the Free Republics.

RayDome (MD3: Polar Islandstates vs. Darmen and QF: New Sideburn vs. Polar Islandstates)

The RayDome is located in Doranto, Contoria and seats 72,469. Contoria is a southern Republic. The RayDome is the home of the Doranto SunRays. The SunRays are one of the more accomplished (gridiron) football teams in the FFR. The RayDome has a fully transparent roof and is an architectural marvel.

Dixon Light Stadium (MD1: Mytannion vs. Darmen and Ro16: Felix vs. Free Republics)

Dixon Light Stadium, located in Petrograd, Plymouth, is normally a (gridiron) football-specific stadium and the home of the Petrograd Tycoons. Dixon Light Stadium has hosted a WrestleCade in the past, but it has never hosted any international sports competition before. This was due to the refusal of the Petrograd Tycoons owner to permit the stadium to be used for World Bowl XXII. He changed his mind regarding international competition after a meeting with Rule Theriault. Dixon Light Stadium seats 76,804. Petrograd is the center of the oil industry in the Free Republics. The Republic of Plymouth is located toward the south-western portion of the country.

RepublicSoft Stadium (MD2: Valladares vs. Blouman Empire and Ro16: New Sideburn vs. Valladares)

RepublicSoft Stadium is located in New City, Orlandiana. New City is believed to be the most populous city in the Free Republics, but RepublicSoft Stadium seats just 42,282. Ticket prices are notoriously high at RepublicSoft Stadium and many believe that the capacity was kept deliberately low to draw a wealthier audience to the stadium in New City. RepublicSoft is a computer company in the Free Republics. They make the Doors operating system, which is the most popular OS in the World Changers region. The most recent version of Doors, Doors 9, is a notorious flop that uses a touchscreen interface better suited for use on cell phones. RepublicSoft is also well known for their line of office software. However, they are most widely known as the co-creators of the Saint, along with Royal Computer Entertainment of Saintland (RCES) and the producers of most of the first-party software for the Saint. Orlandiana is a mid-northern Republic.

Podvez Field (MD3: Mytannion vs. United Gordonopia and Ro16: Turori vs. Mytannion)

Podvez Field is located in the small town of Yellow Bay in Vorita. It is primarily used as a (gridiron) football stadium, but has also been used for some soccer matches, and is named after Mario Podvez. Mario Podvez was a quarterback and later the longtime head coach of the Yellow Bay Tornadoes. He is considered one of the greatest quarterbacks from the early days of professional football in the Free Republics. Coaching Yellow Bay for over 5 decades, he won more games than any other coach in the history of Republican professional football. Vorita is one of the northern Republics. Podvez Field seats 65,397.

Alex Tomlinson Memorial Stadium (MD3: San Jose Guayabal vs. Free Republics and Ro16: Polar Islandstates vs. Saintland)

Alex Tomlinson Memorial Stadium is located in Barkersville, Amolotopia. The stadium is named after Alex Tomlinson, a Liberal candidate for Consul from several decades ago. Tomlinson was shot and killed by a lone nut assassin following his victory in the critical Amolotopia primary election. Tomlinson's older brother, the outgoing Consul at the time, had been shot and nearly killed by an assassin several years earlier. At the time, the city of Barkersville was constructing a new multi-purpose stadium for their local soccer, (gridiron) football and baseball teams. Due to public demand, the city chose to name the stadium after Tomlinson upon its completion. It seats 92,906. Amolotopia is one of the northern Republics.

Church of Saintland Stadium (MD1: Valanora vs. Saintland)

Located in Albertope, Roxawa, Church of Saintland Stadium is a multipurpose stadium that seats 83,802. The Church of Saintland, a well-known religious denomination around the world, purchased the naming rights to the stadium. The Republic of Roxawa is one of the southern Republics.

Nicholls Enterprises Stadium (MD1: Valladares vs. The Royal Barangay)

Nicholls Enterprises Stadium in Baseton, Amolotopia is owned by one of the wealthiest men in the Free Republics. Mr. Nicholls, the owner of Nicholls Enterprises Stadium, is so wealthy that he was able to bring the 3rd World Korfball Classic to the city of Baseton. Amolotopia is toward the northern part of the Free Republics. Nicholls Enterprises Stadium seats 66,487.

Olden Stadium (MD1: Blouman Empire vs. Felix)

Olden Stadium is located in Falkamore, Nejax. Olden Stadium is named after the Olden Automobile Company, one of the leading automobile manufacturing companies in the Free Republics. Olden is famous for making SUVs and pick-up trucks. Nejax is a southern Republic. Olden Stadium seats 92,681. Nejax has acquired somewhat of an international notoriety lately.

R&K Bank Stadium (MD1: Neu Engollon vs. Turori)

R&K Bank Stadium in Mortonsville, Exastrium is named after a prominent bank in the central Free Republics region. R&K seats 59,542. Exastrium is located in the central part of the Free Republics.

PetroDome (MD3: Blouman Empire vs. The Royal Barangay)

The PetroDome is located in Petrograd, Plymouth and seats 82,349. The PetroDome is the home of the University of Petrograd's football team and is located on campus. The University of Petrograd is one of the biggest party schools in all of the Free Republics and that is saying something. Petrograd is the center of the oil industry in the Free Republics. The Republic of Plymouth is located toward the south-western portion of the country.

IslandDome (MD3: Cassadaigua vs. New Sideburn)

The IslandDome is located in the city of Toakameau, located in the island Republic of Falatulu and seats 66,665. Falatulu consists of several small islands off the southern coast of the Free Republics. The Republic is known for its libertine lifestyle and for its high levels of political apathy. The Falatuluan lifestyle is a non-stop party, making the Republic a popular vacation destination. Free love is practiced by the majority of Falatuluans and drug use is rampant on the islands. With a tropical climate, its always warm and its almost always sunny on the islands. Toakameau is the only city in Falatulu.

Armed Forces Stadium (MD3: Neu Engollon vs. Saintland)

Armed Forces Stadium is located in Peroxia, Jolarus and seats 52,406. The stadium is located just off the campus of the University of Jolarus and is the home of Peroxia United, one of the most successful soccer teams in Jolarus. Jolarus is a socially conservative Republic located in the central part of the Free Republics. The stadium is sponsored jointly by the Armed Forces of the Free Republics.

RT&T Stadium (MD2: The Royal Barangay vs. Felix)

RT&T Stadium is located in New City, Orlandiana and seats 152,306. It is sponsored by RT&T, formerly a powerhouse in the landline telephone industry. RT&T has struggled in recent years, so it is somewhat fitting that the stadium they sponsor has become a run-down mess. RT&T Stadium was originally built 90 years ago and was expanded around 60 years ago to its current capacity. It is the home of the New City Bombers (gridiron) football team, a once-great team that has fallen on hard times recently. In the debut season of the FFL, the Bombers were the only team in the league to go 0-16, as they were blown out literally every week and were flat-out awful on both sides of the ball. Despite being the largest stadium in the Free Republics, RT&T Stadium has never been used for international competition, until now, as neither Rule Theriault nor Logan Allen have any desire to let their teams play at that stadium. Orlandiana is a mid-northern Republic and New City is believed to the most populous city in the Free Republics.

Bank of Acedonia Stadium (MD2: Valanora vs. Neu Engollon)

Bank of Acedonia Stadium, located in Gontamo, Kantana, is a rather unremarkable stadium located in a rather unremarkable city. Home to Gontamo S.C., a soccer team known throughout the Free Republics for their mediocrity, it is just another 63,101 seat stadium. It is an entirely fitting stadium for the Republic of Kantana, a rather traditional Republic that always seems to be a few years behind the times. Kantanans pride themselves on their simplistic and the city of Gontamo is surrounded by miles and miles of farmland. As the University of Gontamo, another tenant of the stadium, is a traditional powerhouse in collegiate (gridiron) football in the Free Republics, the Bank of Acedonia chose to sponsor the stadium in Gontamo. The bank, based in Acedonia, is known around the multiverse as a beneficiary of the ironclad financial privacy laws in the city-state. Kantana is located several Republics to the north east of Republica.

Nejan Stadium (MD1: Polar Islandstates vs. United Gordonopia)

Nejan Stadium, located in Oldston, Nejax, is the home of the Oldston Nejans, a (gridiron) football team in the FFL. Nejan Stadium has a capacity of 122,406 and is one of the newest stadiums in the Free Republics. Funded entirely by Marcel Friedman, the owner of the Nejans, Nejan Stadium is truly a top-of-the-line stadium in every way. Oldston was built by the Olden Automobile Company as a company town. It has since developed into a city, known for its complete lack of any city planning whatsoever. This has resulted in a city of endless possibilities where you can come across something interesting in any neighborhood. The chaotic design of Oldston can be summed up in the fact that the city courthouse is located across the street from a brothel. Nejax is a southern Republic that has acquired somewhat of an international notoriety lately.

FreedomCola Stadium (MD2: United Gordonopia vs. Darmen)

FreedomCola Stadium in Borotia, Iodara is the home of both the Borotia Ninjas and Borotia City. A 72,398 seat stadium, FreedomCola Stadium is sponsored by the makers of the most popular soft drink in the Free Republics. Iodara is a western Republic, located in the middle of a mountain range. The city of Borotia is located in a valley between mountains. Iodara is relatively lightly populated and the Republic's populace tends to be very self-reliant and skeptical of outsiders.

Nail Frolov Colosseum (MD2: New Sideburn vs. San Jose Guayabal)

The Nail Frolov Colosseum, located in Santangiago, Perotutia, is a spacious stadium named after Nail Frolov, a long-time Senator from the Republic of Perotutia. Frolov, a Progressive Senator, was known around the FFR for his skill in bringing Federation tax funds to Perotutia. Santangiago is a relatively small city that nonetheless has a 99,406 seat stadium. However, since Frolov has been dead for several decades and Perotutia has been unable to find another Senator so skilled at bringing tax dollars from other Republics to Perotutia, his Colosseum has fallen into disrepair. As the progressive-minded citizens of Perotutia have grown less interested in sports over the past few decades, the Republic government has done no upkeep on the stadium for years. While neither Rule Theriault nor Logan Allen would be willing to play there, Nail Frolov's personal Colosseum somehow made it onto the list of stadiums for World Cup 68. Perotutia is a south-eastern Republic.

Church of Technicology Stadium (MD3: Felix vs. Valladares)

Located in Tarita, Quartona, Church of Technicology Stadium is an otherwise unspectacular 61,403 stadium that is mainly known for being named after the Church of Technicology, a religion founded by a failed science fiction writer named J.Q. Caballero. Widely considered a scam masquerading as a religion, the Church of Technicology has nonetheless managed to gain a following among some celebrities. They are mostly famous for their litigiousness, including a lawsuit against the leading domain name registrar in the Free Republics that was literally laughed out of court by a judge, on national television. Quartona is located in the north-western portion of the Free Republics.

Milne Stadium (MD3: Turori vs. Valanora)

Milne Stadium, located in Samstown, Nessex, is a relatively small stadium located in an ancient town. It is the home of Samstown Standard, a soccer team that has been remarkably successful for a small town soccer team. The 38,506 seat stadium is always filled to capacity, even for middle school soccer matches, as the people of Samstown are soccer mad. Once it was announced that Samstown would get a World Cup match, tickets for that match sold out in less than 5 minutes, as the soccer-mad locals rushed to purchase tickets. The people of Nessex are known, in addition to their enthusiasm, for being relatively friendly and welcoming to foreigners. In Samstown, the man on the street largely knows who the players are, their strengths and their weaknesses. Nessex is located in the northern part of the Free Republics and shares a border with the breakaway Republic of Taxachusetts.

AllMartDome (MD2: Saintland vs. Turori)

Located in Reco, Jolarus, the AllMartDome is an 88,234 seat stadium. Sponsored by AllMart, the leading big box store in the Free Republics, the AllMartDome is a multi-purpose domed stadium used for soccer, (gridiron) football, baseball and several other sports, as well as conventions. A giant green and yellow AllMart logo is one of the stadium's defining features, along with its transparent roof, which permits a natural grass surface to be installed inside of a domed stadium. Jolarus is a socially conservative Republic located in the central part of the Free Republics.

National Organization for Men Stadium (MD1: Cassadaigua vs. San Jose Guayabal)

Named after the National Organization for Men (NOM), National Organization for Men Stadium is a mid-size stadium located in Estonopolis, Keronama. NOM is a controversial, but politically powerful organization which advocates for the rights of men in the Free Republics. The stadium seats 58,534. Keronama is toward the eastern part of the Free Republics.
Last edited by Free Republics on Thu Apr 24, 2014 8:48 pm, edited 10 times in total.
Games of the XIII Olympiad Host / NS Olympic Council President
1st: DBC 28, X Winter Olympics, Independents Cup 4, CoH 66
2nd: World Cup 68, DBC 27, U15WC 8, UWCFA Gold Cup I, BoI 15, 2nd Imperial Chap Olympiad, NSCF 11
3rd: World Cups 71 & 81, DBC 29, UWCFC Gold Cup III, GCoS 1
Qualified: World Cups 68, 69, 71, 72, 73, 79
Host: World Cups 68 & 81, CoH 58, X Winter Olympics, World Bowls XXII & XXXI, WBC 42, RUWC 25, Beach Cup XI, World Korfball Classic III, Runner Cup 7
Current Senior Consul: Kyle Bolton (Liberty)
Current Junior Consul: Scarlett Nicholls (Liberty)
Demonym: Republican
Trigram: FFR
Official Nation Name: Federation of Free Republics
List of Scorinators and other related programs

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Posts: 590
Founded: Sep 26, 2005
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Schiavonia » Sun Mar 16, 2014 6:58 pm

This is an RP that is shared between the end of my Winter Olympics and the start of my World Cup RPs. Hence I've put it all in together, but spoilered the bits that aren't all that relevant.

"It's time for the Sound of the Slopes! I'm Jenny Jones..."

"...and I'm Kevin Smith..."

"...and we're here in Saugeais for our final report on Schiavonia at the Winter Olympics!"

"But... all of our athletes finished four days ago. Where have you been? I've been here in Arse-on watching people sliding about ever since, freezing my arse off... as it were..."

"I've been on business."

"What business have you got around here?"

"I've been on a bit of a mission to Montbenoit with Tony Cueto and Benny Sanderson."

"Doing what?"

"Trying to find out about Schiavonia."

"What do they know about Schiavonia in Saugeais?"


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"How far is it now?"

"Well, the map suggests that we're almost there. But then, we have been going around Montbenoit for three hours now."

"Gentlemen! Stop the bickering, and give me the map!"

"But we're managing fine!"

"Benny, you've had he map all along, and we have no idea where we are, do we?"


"Give it here... now... Looking at this... This street here is... this street here... so we need to be..."

Jenny looked up. In front of her was a sign.



"Right, well... let's go in."

The trio entered the building and approached the reception desk, emblazoned with the logo of the Football Association of Saugeais. The pleasant lady on the desk piped up.

"Good afternoon sirs, madam. How can I help you?"

Benny spoke up on the group's behalf. "We'd like to speak to someone."

"Anyone in particular?"

"Oh no. Just someone."

"Will I suffice?"

"Well, let's see. You see, we're from Schiavonia."

"The home of darts?"



"Um... not that I know of."

"Oh. Is there another Schiavonia?"

"Actually... that's what we're here to talk about."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, let me explain. We are from the Schiavone Football Federation, and recently we submitted an entry for World Cup 68. Now, we expected this to be our first World Cup since 52, but apparently Schiavonia entered World Cup 57 without us, the people of Schiavonia knowing about it."

"So what has this got to do with us here?"

"Well, when we looked through the teams in the group, we noticed there was one we recognised, and that was Saugeais. So we were hoping that someone here could find us some information about your opponents that day. Who were they? The fact that you're talking about the home of darts makes me think that you might know."

"Well, the place where the darts came from was a small island in Atlantian Oceania, filled with really friendly people."

"They copied us in that respect, too!"

"Er... Benny..." Jenny butted in, "I think that was us."

"Oh. Er... so do you have any knowledge about this Schiavonia team you played?"

"Well, probably not a lot. Though we may still have some details. Let's have a look... World Cup 57 you say... "

"Yes." Jenny took over. "If you have a location for where the game took place, that would be marvellous."

"Let's see... Schiavonia away... It says here, played in an unspecified neutral territory, as the WCC had ruled that the home nation no longer exists."

"Oh. Do you have a team sheet?"

"The home team were not specified."

"Oh. Is there anything?"

"No. As I say, the records say that the place didn't exist."

"Well, it seems as though you know as much as us."

"Also," Benny came back in, "What is this darts you talk of?"

"Oh, Benny! I'll show you on the computer later." Jenny turned to the receptionist. "Thank you very much for your assistance. You have been most helpful."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

" turns out that they know about as much as you do about the other nations that are here."

"You still haven't forgiven me for that opening ceremony, have you?"

"No. Now, onto how the Schiavone skeleton athletes did."

"Which was rubbish."

"It really was. Shall we bother with it?"


"And our friends in Vilita have pretty much won the whole thing, if that's how it works."

"I think it is."

"Great. Well, that's that. Bye from us!"

"Hang on... I looked at the train timetable the other day. It only takes about three and a half, four hours to get to Montbenoit."


"You were gone for four days."

"Have you tried looking after Tony and Benny? It's like trying to look after a couple of teenagers on one of those drinking holidays. And as soon as Tony realised that Benny and Jenny rhymed..."

"Fair point."

"OK. So, that really is it from us now! We'll come back and report on some sports you may know about soon! Until then, goodnight!"

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Posts: 623
Founded: Sep 12, 2004
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Legalese » Sun Mar 16, 2014 8:05 pm

OOC: RP Opportunity Incoming - See Below


Robert Percival slumped in his chair, shedding the masque of gratitude from earlier. It had been an hour since the Federation President had been shaking hands with the WCC President - a Polaran whose name escaped him - as the Legalite delegation was awarded co-hosting rights to the World Cup, and yet, they remained moist and cool, sweat dripping from them at a consistent rate.

As he tried to pour himself a drink, giving a portion of liquid to the carpet underfoot, Rob inhaled deeply. He exhaled forcefully, dusting off his mind, as he debriefed himself.

Eight votes against? We're the only option on the table, and eight voted against? Who, seriously, would lack that kind of faith in us?

He shook his head. The names didn't matter, for though he'd heard rumors, they'd remain nothing more. In this scenario, it was a question of faith.

He pondered the scenarios, looking for the bridge to offer, the olive branch needed to keep them on his side. What would it take?

Finally, after drink number three, it hit him.

How do you get someone to deal with the process? You get them invested in it.

Rob chuckled to himself, trying to hide back a grin. If the community needed to get invested, what better way than on something that they'd not totally falter on?

He dialed a line to his assistant's voice mail. "Beth, Rob here. I need Wickerstaff to see me tomorrow - can you set that up for me? I have an idea."

As the year progressed, the preparations were underway across the nation. National Stadium received a facelift, improving the seating and fixing the vibration problem - or at the very least, ensuring that it wouldn't bring the stands down with the supporters inside it. The Tyrellian pitches also received upgrades, and the upstart Comunas Cougars, from a growing community on the northwestern coast of the Karin Isles, received a new stadium, fitting to go with their consecutive runs as National Champions.

Meanwhile, the other plan set in place by the Federation President a year before was enacted, as a message was posted to the federations participating in the 68th World Cup:

To: Fellow World Cup Committee members and participants
From: The Office of the Federation President, on behalf of the World Cup 68 Hosting Committee

Fellow members and nations,

As we prepare for World Cup 68, the nations of Legalese and the Free Republic are grateful for the opportunity you have bestowed upon us to welcome you here to our stadia for the upcoming competition. This is a duty we do not take lightly, and hope to offer you an experience like no other.

To that end, we are offering the community a unique opportunity. Today, we are announcing the formation of the World Cup Seeding Committee, composed of a representative variety of the men, women, dreamed simulacra, and other beings that make up the diverse range of characters that comprise our world. It is through this system and design that we feel we can create a fair and equitable process for setting the seeds for the upcoming playoff matchups, as well as the seedings for the World Cup Finals Draw.

The guidelines for application and acceptance are as follows:
-Any national of a participant in qualifying for World Cup 68 shall be eligible for committee placement. Distinguished individuals from current and former World Cup hosts shall also be eligible for consideration, should they not meet the preceding requirement.
-Applicants must have a prior involvement in the game as a player, coach, referee, administrator, or journalist, but may not be a current player, coach, or referee.
-Committee members will be excused from the room whenever the seeding potential of their own nation, or a nation of their region, is considered.

The Seeding Committee will be co-chaired by a representative from each of the host nations. The Legalite co-chair will be Bernard Wickerstaff, the Vice President of the World Cup Committee, and former President of the Federation of Association Football.

Please direct all applications and inquiries within.


Robert Percival
Federation of Association Football
Writing from Legalese City, Legalese

OOC: RP Opportunity

In recent times, the bonus RP opportunity in WCC tournaments has been to create an All XI. It is an idea that I find to be nifty, but as we like to do things a little differently, we're taking a different tack on it this time around, with the creation of a Seeding Committee.

Before we get into the details, note one very important thing: This is an RP opportunity only. Under no circumstances will the Seeding Committee have any influence on the Qualifying Playoff Draw(s), or on the World Cup Finals Draw - both of which will be seeded by Rank + RP (where finishing order is equal - i.e., a group winner always precedes a group runner-up in the playoff draw, for example).

That major caveat out of the way, here's the deal: to apply, RPers shall do so by posting an RP about their applicant, keeping in mind the guidelines above. These RPs will be incorporated into the normal bonus, with the potential for a very small boost in raw score for those with a compelling story.

Questions should be directed to me by TG, or in the World Cup Discussion Thread.

We look forward to seeing your applications!
Legalese proudly calls Atlantian Oceania its home!
AO: It's not just a place, it's THE PLACE

Winner of Cup of Harmony 55 and Jeremy Jaffacake Jamboree II
NS Sports' Primary Proponent of the Casaran System Tournament
Host/Co-Host of:
World Cup XXII and LXVIII
Cup of Harmony XI and XIII
Baptism of Fire IX, XIV, XV, XVI, XLII, LII

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Founded: Aug 30, 2013

Postby Annar » Sun Mar 16, 2014 10:16 pm

The Annarian team was on their way home after their defeat in the Baptism of Fire. It had been fun, they had done well, and know it was time to move on to the World Cup. Vimes was the captain of the squad now, and he would have to begin training the squad. They had to be ready. The competition was going to be a lot harder this time around. The Annarian high council had even promised to attend some of the matches. Which was interesting, because up till know the government wasn't very involved in the sport.

Vimes opened his computer. He had a new email (Annarian planes are equipped with Wi-Fi). It was from an anonymous sender. "Samuel Vimes," it read, "We have received information of a imminent danger to William Johnson, of the Annarian council. The football matches set in our stadium would make a very convenient time to target him. You have been assigned to protect him. This email is not traceable, we think, because we wish your involvement to be secret. Sincerely, Vetinari, Chief of Police." The order was definitely official, Vetinari had included the correct codes. If Vetinari was involved, it was serious. The man was always serious. And here was Vimes, hoping for some normal football Ah, well.
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Postby Valanora » Mon Mar 17, 2014 12:42 pm

Second in the world. It was a fancy title, it had even been some time since Valanora had been considered second best in the world in football. If you were just an average nation looking to have some success, second in the world would not be too shabby at all. Even some of the better nations would have settled for that title, behind the juggernaut that the Polarians had become over the past six years. While they might have been Rushmori and even a bit boring in their approach to the game, there was a certain something about them that had to be respected. Perhaps it was the consistency at being the best, the determination and will not to let past failures deter them from their ultimate goal, or maybe just those darn aesthetically pleasing kits, but they were definitely a second worth respect. Yet second in the world to them, well that would just not do at all, not with the history of the Vanorian footballing machine that paved the way for so called dynasties.

Eight straight appearances in the top three, those record tying five trophies that were displayed at the Hatire Memorial, all those years of making it to at least the quarterfinal stages. It was a legacy that difficult to live up to, a strain on players that were brought into the fold who had never experienced anything quite like it. The players from Raynor City United seemed the best to adjust, yet they had their own legacy on the domestic scene to live up to and try to surpass, others took a bit more. Sometimes though, a player never adjusted, it was sad when it happened, but such is the weight of expectations when you slip on that navy kit and see those five golden stars upon the crest. You have to be mentally tough just as much as you are physically gifted to play the game at the international level, something that not every fan or even coach understood.

He did though, he understood the rigors that it took to continue to push yourself to excel at the highest levels and how to handle the burden of expectations. That was one of the reasons he was the captain, to use that experience and knowledge to guide the rest of the squad through the rough patches, when the doubts start to rise and the pressure gets very heavy. How he had managed to do it during last cycle was still beyond him, as the situation had looked very bleak, yet there Valanora was once more, fighting through the obstacles and adversity, taking away victories where they should have lost. It was a resiliency that he knew a few on the squad had within them, yet he had not suspected it to show through the whole squad. It certainly made him feel proud to be their captain, to be their leader, and a bit of vindication in the words he had spoken to them when they had been at their low. It had all come around for the best, another third place finish and a potential springboard to a title.

That was always the goal when any Vanorian team entered a tournament though, to not just show Vanorian sporting excellence, but to win the tournament. Decades of success not just in football but other sports had crafted that mentality, had drawn up those lofty expectations. For him, it drove him on, trying to prove time and time again that he was the best player, the best captain, the best teammate that any club or national team could have, that he was simply the best. It was liberating in a way, for even if the team failed to achieve those goals, that they did not win the title, then it was added inspiration and motivation to come back and do it better the next edition of the tournament. Revenge was never part of the equation, not for him, but vindication, triumph when people had thought you were past it, usurping the title of the best. And if they won, then those expectations and goals had been fulfilled and it was up to them to do it again, to notch their place in history by defending that title, which had they had done once before.

Second best, no that was not going to be where Laborious would aim for, never in his life. So long as he was still physically capable of playing at his high level, second best would never be good enough no matter what the platform was. Not when playing for his domestic club in Astograth, not when playing in the regional cup for the title that continued to elude him and the squad, and definitely not when playing in the World Cup itself, the grandest of all the tournaments in the world. If it meant putting his club upon his shoulders and carrying them to victory, then he would do that, or if it meant being the outspoken leader to get the squad fired up, he would do that to. Whatever was required of him, he was prepared to do, if it meant that the title would be his once more, if Valanora would have a sixth cup to display back in Capri, if it meant that the when he was long and gone the world would look back and think of him as the best that ever was.
World Cup 40, 42, 43, 52, & 61 Champions
WC 47, 51 (2nd), WC 34, 38, 39, 41, 44, 45, 53, 60, 67 (3rd), WC 49, 58 (Semifinalist), WC 33, 35-37, 46, 48, 54, 55, 62, 63, 65, 72 (Quarterfinalist)
WCoH VII, VIII, XVII, XXVIII, XXX, XXXII (1st), WCoH I, XXXI (2nd), WCoH II, XXIX (3rd), WCoH XII (4th)
AOCAF 44, 46, 51, & 53 Champions, AOCAF 39 & 43 Runners Up
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Nouvel Ecosse
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Postby Nouvel Ecosse » Mon Mar 17, 2014 1:17 pm

It was the winter months in Nouvel Ecosse, a cold and destitute time. There was nothing in the world that Bastian Matheus preferred in the world than a round of golf at his local club, with driver in hand and ball on tee. But the snow had put an end to that by late-October. Life this far north wasn't always easy. He had had it easier where he had been living, in the small city of Asimov in the far-south of the country, where the weather was more temperate and the people in general more friendly. But the Yellosians had put an end to that. Asimov was now commandeered by armed forces, the few Ecossians still clinging to their ordinary lives there now living under the fear of rogue bombings, of an imminent attack from across the border into Adler. Matheus had retreated from his villa there as soon as the problems started, and as far as he was aware his house was now barracks for seven or eight Ecossian gunner men.

It was ok for him though. He had amassed a fair amount of money throughout his career in the small, ever-rotating life in the world of Ecossian football. He had managed Everton, he had managed East Hannibal Albion, he had managed Crystal Lanark, he had even looked after the International team for a period in the early 1990's, well before the country had appeared worldwide though. back then they had only really played themselves, and the Adlerites when they could get their mess of a football association together, that is. He had spent twenty years managing in the city of Hannibal before pilgrimaging to Caledonia and never returning, until the troubles that is. He was originally from the South-West, the city of Martell where he called home. He was a University Graduate in the study of Scots & French, with a little in politics and duderology on the side. He hadn't meant to go into sport, but in 1968 when local manager Douglas Bradbury appointed him to translate for him to some of the more foreign players in the side he had picked a knack up for the tactics.

It was a lot like politics, football. Clubs were parties, players the elected officials, matches elections, and it was filled with all the bullshit that accompanied both. Matheus had never been a betrayer, more a trusting man, but the football had changed him. After thirty years in the game, he had happily retired in 2002, to a nice pension and a small fortune. But it wasn't long after that the NEFA, and their counterparts in real Government, started to badger him to stand in elections to posts. He had taken the leap, and had been Chief of the NEFA for one term, before standing down. It was dirtier than a game at Peploe Park, home to the infamous Everton of the seventies who never appointed a grounds keeper and were likely to break a few legs in the meantime. It had been Matheus that had changed that around, and turned them into a team you desired to play for.

Whilst the golf was out of bounds he had picked up curling, but he now found that he was in the interim period when the ice of the Lakkvarv Hannibal was too risky for curling and the snow still to thick for golf. Frankly, he was bored. He was even contemplating a holiday. Then the phone rang, dejectedly ignored all Winter by callers. Matheus wasn't a sociable person, making more enemies than friends in his career, and the few friends he had were still immersed in the world of football. Nouvel Ecosse was a large country as well, and he had friends isolated all over, many who disliked the phone as much as him. He had married once, but that had gone badly. Least said, the better.

Matheus almost didn't recognise the distinct bring of it until it would have been too late, but picked up in time. An official sounding voice immediately asked him if he was Bastian Matheus, and he replied in the affirmative. Matheus knew that this was either the Government, some political party looking for him to stand in Hannibal cause it would be easy votes, some club making a half-hearted yet vain attempt to convince him to manage them, or the football association. In all kindness, he hoped it wasn't the last one. They were real pricks, sometimes.

"Hello, Mr Matheus? This is Darryl Hagen, of the Nouvel Ecosse Football Association. We were wondering if you had a few moments to speak with us?" He had some idea of shoving the phone down on the receiver, but that would be futile. It would just keep on ringing. When the Association wanted you, they wanted you.
"Yes, this is Bastian. I thought I told you lot that I am retired. Remember, you threw me that lavish retirement party in the Sagan Hotel in Edinburgh?"
"I'm afraid that that was a little before my time, sir. I only joined the Association three years ago."
"Well then, you didn't miss much. If I wanted people to suck up to me for a night I'd go buy a couple of hoovers. And they'd do a better job of it, too. What do you want?"
"The boss, Mr Steven Walters, I'm sure you remember him, well, he has a position open, and he wants to know if you would be interested."
"Frankly, I'm not. I've not got a lot of time until the golf season returns."
"Oh, it wouldn't be long. And it is all expenses paid, courtesy of us."
That caught Bastian's attention. All-Expenses paid. Short. This sounded terrific. Almost too good to be true.
"Ok, you have my attention. Enlighten me."
"Well, we received a letter from a Robert Percival, I don't know if you know him or not."
"Can't say I do, although the name rings bell." Perhaps it was something to do with the upcoming World Cup. That must be it. Even as he was thinking the pre-World Cup Astyrian Competition was running only miles from his apartment.
"He's the president of our counterparts at Legalese, you know, the hosts of the World Cup. They're forming some sort of seeding committee for it, and are looking for representatives from different countries."
"And you want me? This sounds interesting."
"We couldn't think of a man with a better understanding of the Ecossian game, sir. You've worked at all levels, and..."
"And now I'm no longer working. Well, as long as I get back for the golf season, I'd be more than happy to."
"As I'm sure you are aware, you aren't the only one who has relocated. Come to our offices. We are on International Street in Hannibal now. I'm sure you know Edinburgh is too dangerous."
"I'll pop in tomorrow. Have the information prepared."

To: Robert Percival, President, Federation of Association Football
From: Steven Walters, Elected President of Nouvel Ecosse Football Association

Dear Sir,

Firstly, may I congratulate you on your nation's successful bid to co-host the World Cup. I'm sure it will be a roaring success, and we hope to be one of those countries who may just reach the beloved finals of the competition. We write to you in reply to your letter about a World Cup Seeding Committee, and wish to express an interest in sending a delegate to this committee.

It is in an excellent concept, and one which has our full backing. Why take all the pressure of the hosting of a World Cup when you can dish out the hard work and overwhelming to others more than happy to do it?

We present to you our delegate, or candidate, Mr Bastian Matheus, a man which we are sure ticks all your boxes. He speaks English, French and Scots fluently, has managed numerous clubs, has even presided over our very own FA. And the best thing? He is now retired, and no longer takes an active part in the football world, so is more than free to come to Legalese.

We hope you consider him. He is very eager, although he does inquire as to the availability of golf in your nation. His putter is itching for some play.

Yours faithfully,

Steven Walters
Nouvel Ecosse Football Association

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Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Saintland » Mon Mar 17, 2014 2:01 pm

Royal Stadium, St. Petrus, Saintland

It was now time for the 5th edition of the Strongnesse Trophy match. New Sideburn had won the first 2 contests, but the Sanctii had won the last 2. If you counted their meetings at BoF 51, Saintland and New Sideburn had played 6 matches, with Saintland winning 2, New Sideburn winning 3 and a match ending in a draw. Although New Sideburn and their former colony Brenecia have had more than their share of matches against the Free Republics over the years, the Sideburnese have not faced the Sanctii in a WCC-sanctioned match since that day at the Baptism of Fire. While it was officially a quarterfinal, for all intents and purposes, that match had been the final of the 51st Baptism of Fire. After that day in Gordonopia, the rest of the BoF was a foregone conclusion. Everybody knew that New Sideburn was going to win and that was exactly what they did.

Although they have been through 4 World Cup cycles and the Sanctii have, arguably, had more success than the Sideburnese, New Sideburn has, usually, had an advantage over the Kingdom of Saintland in the KPB rankings. That is, once again, the case at the present moment. New Sideburn are ranked 30th in the world. Meanwhile, the Sanctii have fallen to 36th in the world, a consequence of an ill-advised boycott of World Cup 67. With Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and Wight, both former #2-ranked nations, likely to fall dramatically in the rankings due to their non-entries in World Cup 68, New Sideburn is currently poised to finish with a post-qualifying ranking higher than the Sanctii have yet attained. Both Saintland and New Sideburn are solid upper pot 2 teams, not borderline pot 2 teams. Projections, at the present time, have pot 1 going through 25th-ranked United Gordonopia, with pot 2 going through 53rd-ranked Felix. Should Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, Wight or the Sylvanaes Queendom return to the World Cup at the last minute, Felix would likely lose their spot in Pot 2. If Felix holds onto their spot, the highly-touted Group of Death from World Cup 67 will obtain 4 spots in the top 2 pots at this World Cup, plus a World Cup co-host. It seems that the Republicans are intent upon avoiding a repeat of the Group of Death this time around. Indeed, judging from the nations that will likely make up the 3rd and 4th pots this time around, a group reminiscent of the World Cup 67 Group of Death seems extremely unlikely in this edition of the World Cup.

However, this was not World Cup qualifying. This was the Strongnesse Trophy, the most prestigious friendly trophy in international soccer. At least that's how it was seen by both nations involved in this match. While the intense hatred had died down, at least on the Sanctii side, it was still a premier rivalry match. These days, the only nation that was truly hated inside the borders of Saintland was the Equestrian States, home of the talking animals who had once intentionally injured the man who was now the King of Saintland, all because they weren't happy about the condition of the Royal Stadium grass. Then, they had "stolen" what the Sanctii regarded as "their" World Cup, intensifying the hatred. Although they no longer truly hated New Sideburn, they had decided to continue playing the Strongnesse Trophy match as a gesture of friendship.

The big story surrounding the match was the return of Josephus Flaccus. Flaccus had previously played for the Saintland National Soccer Team during World Cups 64 and 65. In his first stint with the National Team, he was capped 19 times, usually as a substitute. Yet, Flaccus still managed to score 10 goals, 8 of them coming during the final 6 matches of World Cup 65 qualification. The most important of those goals was his added time equalizer against Wight, who would go on to become the World Cup 65 champions. By denying the Wightlings 2 points on that day, he helped the Sanctii develop the belief that they can not just put a scare into the best teams in the world, but actually beat them as well. His hat trick against Jedi8246 was even more critical, as those points would amount to more than the difference between second and third place in that group. After that remarkable qualifying run, Flaccus signed with a team in New Sideburn's domestic league, where he became their Foreign Player of the Year. He would eventually obtain a transfer to AFC Treason and help lead them to a championship. In UICA competition, he would help lead them to a semi-final berth in the Globe Cup, one of the strongest UICA performances ever for an Esportivan squad.

Remarkably, King Petrus XX had convinced Josephus Flaccus to return to the Saintland National Team after their high-profile and rather ugly split. Following Saintland's loss to the Licentians in the World Cup 65 playoffs, Flaccus had defected to New Sideburn under the guise of traveling to Acedonia to do some scouting for the then-upcoming Summer Olympics. That had been the absolute worst moment to do something like that. King Paulus XV was already infuriated by the decision of the Licentian government to aid some women who claimed to be abused in their efforts to abandon their husbands and abduct their children. While King Paulus XV attempted to bring about the return of the children, his case in the Licentian courts was repeatedly delayed and was quietly withdrawn by King Petrus XX, out of his desire to avoid bad publicity. Other than the victims of that incident, few even remembered that incident any longer. However, the Josephus Flaccus defection and the surrounding events were still well-known around the world. Even though the Sideburnese press discovered that Flaccus was going to play for the Saintland National Team, few believed that report.

Then, when it was time for the Strongnesse Trophy match to start, Josephus Flaccus walked out of the tunnel and into Royal Stadium. The roar of the capacity crowd was deafening as Josephus stepped onto the pitch. King Petrus XX had intentionally kept Cantus Virginum and their pre-teen girl fanbase as far away as possible from Royal Stadium. At the moment, they were playing a concert at Apostolic Arena in St. Petrus. Instead, Josephus Flaccus would sign the National Anthem and speak to the crowd. The crowd became silent out of respect for the National Anthem and stood in silence, with their hats in hand, as Josephus Flaccus sang a pitch-perfect rendition of Benedictus Rex (OOC: No, I don't have lyrics for the anthem.). As he concluded the anthem, he received a standing ovation from the crowd. Once the ovation died down, Josephus spoke to the crowd:

Josephus Flaccus - Its great to be home once again! I may have wavered in the past, but I have returned home. I want to thank God for being patient with me as I went through a crisis of faith and I want to thank King Petrus XX and Prince Andreas for allowing me to return to the National Soccer Team. I have returned with one goal in mind. I want to not only lead us to Legalese or the Free Republics. I want to lead us to the promised land. I want to bring home the World Cup trophy for our Kingdom, for our Royal Family and for the One True God and His True Church. Today is the beginning of that journey. While this match does not count for World Cup qualifying points and it will not be considered by KPB, it is worth something more important. This is our chance to defeat our rival New Sideburn for the 3rd year in a row. I have nothing against New Sideburn. They're a great nation and one that we, most unfortunately, got off on the wrong foot with in the past. However, on this day, they stand against us with a Trophy on the line that is a reminder of our past. While our Kingdom has been through some dark days over the past few months, this Trophy is a reminder of what we were and of what we can be. Many question whether we will just fade away in this World Cup, the latest victim of the World Bowl host curse, a curse that has, so far, seemingly only been overcome by Cassadaigua. I want to dedicate our victory today and our upcoming World Cup campaign to the memory of our fallen King, Paulus XV. While I may not have always seen eye-to-eye with him, I had great respect for him as a man and for his judgment. I only hope that we can honor his memory in this edition of the World Cup.

The television cameras cut to the crowd, where King Petrus XX was seated next to Rook Barker, Margrave of New Sideburn. Those watching the Strongnesse match on television around the multiverse could only imagine what the 2 national leaders were speaking about. The crowd had gone into another standing ovation for Josephus Flaccus. Soon, the crowd settled down and the match got underway. This time around, it did not take long for this match to be all but over. New Sideburn came out flat, even after listening to Josephus Flaccus literally guarantee victory for the home side. The first goal came 4 minutes in. A shot from Karoki assisted by Josephus Flaccus set up a corner. Prince Andreas delivered a perfect corner and Josephus would head it in for the first goal. Just minutes later, Flaccus faked a pass inside the box to Stephanus Vagionius, instead passing to Prince Andreas, setting up a long-range shot that found the net. Shortly before halftime, Lucas Aufidius delivered his signature long pass, setting up a counter-attack. Heracles Karoki delivered the final blow to New Sideburn's hopes, putting the Sanctii up 3 goals to nil. At this point, it was all but over. As the Sanctii took the pitch with 6 defenders, following Prince Andreas's decision to replace all 3 of his strikers with defenders, everybody in the stadium knew that the action on the pitch was over. The only thing of relevance taking place in the stadium, at that point, was the discussion between the King of Saintland and the Margrave of New Sideburn...

Meanwhile, in the Free Republics, Rule Theriault, the Manager and CEO of the Republican National Soccer Team corporation, had just issued a press release announcing the other co-chair of the World Cup 68 Seeding Committee. While the choice would not be surprising to those who were familiar with the Free Republics, it would still be disappointing to those who had expected better out of a World Cup co-host. Rule Theriault was still furious that his World Cup bid had not received unanimous support and, for that, he blamed the Felix "Trolls" and their allies. He no longer cared in the slightest about giving any impression of impartiality. Instead, all Theriault wanted was to stick it to the region of Esportiva. They were a bunch of minnows, with a level of play clearly inferior to that of UWCFA competition. Saintland, the Free Republics, Taxachusetts, Acedonia, Callistea, Los Quebrados and even Hicana were all superior soccer nations, in Rule Theriault's mind, to any of the Esportivan minnows. He especially could not understand why the Baptism of Fire field mostly consisted of Esportivan nations time after time after time. How many nations were there in the Region of Minnows? Actually, he didn't much care. He just didn't want any of them qualifying for his World Cup.

Well, he had a solution for that. Soon, the entire world would read his press release. Soon, the entire world would discover whom he had appointed as the Republican co-chair of the Seeding Committee. However, Rule Theriault was even more excited about another announcement, one which he had decided to save for the draw. Rule Theriault looked forward to working with all of his friends in the business world and the world of the Universal Force for Good to promote their causes and their goals, using the World Cup as a platform. But, that announcement would have to wait for the time being. At this time, the only announcement that Rule Theriault was ready to make was the identity of the other co-chair of the Seeding Committee. The other co-chair of the World Cup 68 Seeding Committee was:

NS Sports Results | Saintland Press | Commentaries on the WA's resolutions 7-22-14 update: Complete through #125 |
World Baseball Classic 27 co-host | World Bowl XXII host | World Cup of Hockey 23 host | Various Rankings | King Paulus XV Memorial Games
Official Name: Regnvm Sanctvsterra
Official Name in English: Kingdom of Saintland
Monarch: King Petrus XX
Prime Minister: Sara Poenius
Demonym: Sanctii
Trigram: SNT
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Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Pasarga » Mon Mar 17, 2014 2:50 pm

Torgos Tribune ~Self Belief

Coming off a World Cup cycle where the Wanderers fell amazingly short of expectations, not making the World Cup Finals and then failing to win the Cup of Harmony, the side were going to experience some turnover. Manageress Aidé Hernádez decided to stay on for her final contracted year after a decent if not inspiring run during the Copa Rushmori, reaching the Quarterfinals only to be bested by eventual runner up in Astograth. Despite most of the players on the last roster having been hand picked by her during the run up to hosting World Cup 65, the manageress cut ties with several players, also mitigating an almost entirely expected new roster during next cycle due to the age of most of the squad. While no doubt a difficult decision for the woman, considering it was called Pasarga's "golden generation", it had to be done for the good of the squad and the progress of Pasargan football as a whole.

Most interesting of the new selections is the presence of a pair of teenagers in the squad, though they are obviously not among the projected starting eleven. Leftback Lenka Randáková of Stein-los Turkish as well as striker Michael Müller of Tanrısal are those two, both domestic based players and who are likely to see action in the next DBC as well, provided the side enters again. In a time where Pasargan talent is finding its way overseas and away from the dual islands, it is refreshing and interesting to see these two talented youngsters on the squad and still based in the islands. While that will hopefully reverse the trend of the youngsters with a good amount of talent trying to find their way to Polar Islandstates, Astograth, or even Mytannion, you have to wonder if these two are good enough and mature enough to handle the pressures of the senior national team.

Müller is going to have the biggest spotlight on him, being the cousin of fellow Wanderer and starting striker Tobias Möller. With Tobias already settled in as the best player on this Wanderer team, Michael is going to have a huge shadow cast across him as family and analysts alike will wonder if he can live up to his cousin's talent and reputation. With a somewhat unknown in Mezei Orbán being given the other striker spot despite no national team experience before, you could make the argument that there will be a chance for Müller could force his way into being slotted next to his cousin should he prove to half the same level of talent. With Tanrısal often finding their way into the UICA competitions, he is bound to become a center piece of the Wanderers in the future, but can he make that future now with already starting for the big club?

Another interesting call up to the side is Vass Adrián, a young midfielder who made the move to Polar Islandstates' big club this summer. What is interesting about Vass is not his age or the club that he plays for, but that he is a dedicated defensive midfielder, a real ball winner. While not projected to start for the side, it is the first time in recent memory that the side has had a midfielder who was purely intent on playing in the hole between the defense and the midfield. While not exactly what one would call a "destroyer", having the ability to be a deep lying playmaker when called upon, he is first and foremost concentrated on the defensive effort. This may be an acknowledgement from the brain trust that the defense needs some support, especially in those crucial games that determine if you qualify or not.

The Wanderers should take a bit of heart though, despite how poor they performed during the last World Cup cycle, they are still among the top ranked nations of the world, coming in at sixteenth in the latest KPB ranking poll. It is perhaps a bit flattering of a ranking for the side but the fans will no doubt see it as a sign that the side should be able to handily rebound from their disappointment and once more find themselves back in the Finals. Granted that the odd qualification format for this tournament will add some difficulty for the side, even if they do manage to win their group as a projected first seed, but that rank is an indicator of where the experts think they are in the world. Good but not great, average and yet full of potential. Let us not forget that just three years ago they toppled the mighty Polarians in the Copa Rushmori, so this squad can win against anyone. If Hernádez can rediscover the magic she had through her first two cycles in charge, then you never know just how high this Wanderers side could climb, especially if they get a little self belief in themselves.

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Postby Super-Llamaland » Mon Mar 17, 2014 2:53 pm

A letter appears on Mr. Percival's desk.

From the desk of Samuel Dijon III
President, Llamanean Football Commitee (LFC)

Dear Mr. Percival,

Upon review, we have decided to send our most accomplished and qualified applicant to apply for committee placement. We have examined our options carefully, and have decided to send Mr. Michael Harris to the committee.

Super-Llamaland is an upstart nation in the World Cup. At WC 66, we finished four points out of qualification, being knocked out just before the final matchday. We improved upon that at the sixty-seventh World Cup, staving off Brenecia to finish second in our group but losing on away goals to Kandorith. Ranked fifty-first in the world, we are looking to qualify for Legalese this year.

We believe Mr. Michael Harris, the current is extremely qualified. His accomplishments include the following:

  • The youngest Council member of the Super-Llamaland Sports Committee (SLSC) in history, elected in 1996 at the age of thirty-five
  • Served longest tenure on the SLSC Council in history, from May 1996 to September 2005
  • Elected to be president of Llamanean Gridiron Association (LGA) in June 2003, began to design the framework that led to Super-Llamaland's appearance in the Ro32 of World Bowl 22
  • Elected to be vice-president of Llamaland Football Commitee (LFC) in March 2008, served a four-year term and presided over one of the best WC Qualifying and CoH runs in Llamanean history
  • Elected to be president of the Commitee Towards Llamanean Sports Progress (CTLSP) in May 2010

Mr. Harris also played football in his early twenties, playing for FC Vargas as a midfielder from 1980 to 1984, when he was sidelined by knee injuries. He scored eighteen goals and twenty-one assists playing for Vargas and made the starters in late 1983.

Harris graduated from LlamaSport Academy, a private school that appeals to professional athletes in high school. He then went on to play for Ash University in southern Super-Llamaland.
The Fourth Llamanean Republic
Capital: New Llama City, President: Eden Morgan Population: ~56,000,000
Sporting Achievements: World Cup Qualification (68, 70, 71, 74, 77, 78, 79)
World Baseball Classic champion (28, 30, 31, 40, 42), runners-up (29, 37, 41)
Esportivan Regional Champions (20), Cup of Harmony third-place (68)

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New Sideburn
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Postby New Sideburn » Mon Mar 17, 2014 4:43 pm

"Mr Margrave?" asked an aide hesitantly. "May I come in?"
"Sure thing," said the Margrave, adjusting his tie in the dressing room - a blue tie, for a black suit. It was important, he felt, to always show party colours in ties. If your tie wasn't colour-coded, then what was the point in the bloody things?
The aide admitted himself. A quiet young blond, Kevin Waters was easily recognisable by his damp eyes and general air of desperation. But he was good at his job, and, well... 'We Can Do The Job' was the line the Traditionalists had run with in the election. Along with 'No Place for FASCISTS' but it paid not to emphasise that in foreign lands, not when he was trying to establish a strong alliance.
Rook Barker was a strongly-built, faintly triangular man, six foot six and with a handshake like a boa constrictor. He wore a mullet (this was still New Sideburn, politics or not) and what could only be adequately described as a Kilminster-esque moustache and sideburns.
"What did you want, Waters?"
"Just wanted to make sure you were prepped."
"I'm always prepped. I done my research. You don't need t' worry about me."
"Approval ratings have come in about this visit. It's early in the research, but it seems the people are mostly lukewarm."
Barker firmly shut his tie. "But not against."
"No, sir."
"That's good. Overall, ties into the alliance, which is our strongest issue."
"Well... they were perhaps hoping for more local allies."
"We already have a good relationship with other Esportivan nations. Even Brenecia's settled down these days. We need to look further abroad. I'm not telling people they have to stop having same-sex marriages, kiss Sister Polus and burn down the Cranequin churches - the people understand that, or at least the ones who voted for me."
Waters looked sceptical, but didn't challenge the decision. "Right, sir. Well, if that's all... you can probably head up now."
Margrave Barker cracked his knuckles. "Right. Let's sort something out."
Frey Umberwald sneered at the small, frail-looking Brenecian ambassador. "What you want, mate, is a right hard kick up the arse, yeah? I will- listen to me! I will strangle you with your own fucking watch, yeah? Strangle you."
"Y-you can't do this!"
Umberwald stepped closer, and blew smoke from his cigar straight into the man's eyes. "'Course I fucking can. I fucking run everything."
The credits rolled, the solemnly-voiced ad soon to follow; 'that was the fourth episode of the critically acclaimed Sideburnese remake of House of Cards. Next up, 'The Hard Lads', a documentary on New Sideburn's victory at the Baptism of Fire-'
Auburn Bywater jolted awake at the mention of football, and found herself in a tangle of legs (her own, sadly) on the sofa. A quick glance to her watch confirmed the time as 4.27am.
Auburn sighed, and let herself fall off the couch as gracefully as she could. The young woman had had a hell of a ride these past few years, gone from renting shit apartments in the rough streets to... renting somewhat better apartments, but still nothing fancy. On a good day she might get a hotel room on her work for the national team.
The high life suited her, in the sense that she usually had Bederborg vodka in the fridge and the opportunity to flirt with a lot of foreigners. Shame her girlfriend had walked out, but (as Auburn would mutter to herself periodically) she didn't deserve the fruits of Auburn's success anyway.
The young whip crawled to her feet and stumbled over to the fridge. Three hours of sleep... wasn't great, she'd admit, but she was pretty sure there was the customary crate of energy drink in supply.
Sure enough, there it was in plain sight. 24 bottles of First Wind - so named because 'Who Needs A Second?' - a mixed pack in the unique and faintly disgusting flavours of Espresso, Spearmint, Wasabi and Tequila.
The phone rang - Auburn swore quietly and went for it, barely glancing at the name. She flicked open a can of First Wind (ultimately going for Spearmint) and answered. "Jen?"
"Yeah Auburn, it's me," came the heavily-accented voice. Jen Carson, a heavyset, nervous young Licentian fresh out of university, the sort of person far better at her job than she thought she was. Auburn preferred to conduct her work through others now. After all, who had the time to look after an entire national team? "Karl Finnan says some chocolate company wants him to do an ad or somethin', he wants to know if there's any reason he shouldn't tell them to fuck off."
"None at all - tell him to go with God. You know what time it is here?"
"Well, you were awake, weren't you?"
Auburn hung up. She was too sleep-deprived to be sassed by a subordinate.
Sighing, she flopped back onto the couch, considered flicking across channels, then decided she couldn't be fucked.
The Hard Lads was a decent bit of film, as it turned out - not the first foreign documentary about the Sideburnese national team, but the longest and by far the highest-rated. The tone was a sort of horrified admiration as the Cormorants kicked their way to glory in the Baptism of Fire. Auburn was able to reconnect with players from a bygone era, one that predated her - seeing Grant Beardsley be interviewed after scoring the winning goal in the Final, exactly one year before he would turn into an utter garbageman. Lukas Strongnesse after trying to maim the Prince of Saintland, sparking an international rivalry that holds to this day. A young, chunky-looking Anna Shrike who hadn't learned how to defend yet.
The documentary flicked forward through the years. Victory in the Campionato Esportiva in Aiz and Dorne, and Market Cup glory in the Equestrian States. The retirements of Stubbs, Strongnesse, Thrift, Oakwood. Blue away shirts.
Appropriately, it ended with their first qualification for the World Cup... and defeat in their first two games. And the last of the on-field post-match interviews from the Islandstates match, one that always stuck in Auburn's mind. Cathy Stokes, clutching a waterbottle in her left hand, green and black shirt drenched in sweat, terracotta armband signifying her captaincy.
"So are you happy with the performance your team gave here?" asked the interviewer - a horse, naturally, given the location.
Cathy breathed out deeply. "Look, I couldn't be happier with the lads. We gave probably the best team in the world a run for their money." She took a long drag of water. "We gave a good account of ourselves."
"And you have to be pleased with the goal - a stunning strike from Brightley, very technical, not the sort of goal most would say is typical of the Cormorants."
Cathy shrugged. "We've got some real class in this squad. It's not a surprise to see Dale come up with a shot like that."
"Despite a brave performance, with results elsewhere - Antoletia drawing to the hosts - this would make New Sideburn the first side eliminated from the World Cup. How does that feel?"
The Cormorants' captain visibly flinched. They'd never been likely to progress, but there wasn't a single person on that team who didn't feel crushed to know it for certain - and to be the first, at that. And Cathy had been the first to hear it, live on national television.
"Are you alright?"
Cath shook herself back to reality. "Yeah. It hurts," she said simply. "It hurts and we can do better. Next time."
It was a statement that resounded with the entire nation, and a measure of pride was reclaimed with a solid 1-0 victory over Antoletia the next match. But it wasn't enough - the team had a more than solid foundation, but not the meteoric rise to glory some had dared hope. And sometimes being reminded of that was important.

Some people found it hard to understand what Auburn's job actually was. In truth, even she struggled sometimes, and it had taken a while for her to gel properly with her new boss, too. Mortlock still had the underpinnings of a successful coach, and liked to be as hands-on as possible - Auburn no longer dealt with press conferences, for example. And the brusque Chenoworther was very much in the stereotype - a model of efficiency who at the centre of her heart simply did not trust other people.
But even she had to admit, having someone who knew the ins and outs of every player, significant others and points of blackmail - a finger on the pulse, as it were - was very much worthwhile.
Take the roster, for example. Mortlock had agonised over selecting a backup to her preferred centreback partnership of Marlowe and Finnan. Ultimately, James 'Yorki' Yorke won out - both for his versatility on the pitch and for a quiet word that Gareth Pearce, Mortlock's first option, quietly resented the role of a backup. Pearce was a proud professional, knew when others were better-suited to the role than he was, and certainly wouldn't air it openly - but Yorke was temperamentally far better suited to the role, 28 and delighted for every new cap, and if that ever stopped then she had some well tasty pictures of his ex giving him a handjob in an alley. The night before his marriage. Auburn was generally speaking a very likable, bright and talented young woman, and had very creative ways of making people inclined to like her have very good reasons to want to throttle her. That was her job.
She glanced at her watch. The flight home from Saintland was still kind of fucking with her - she had to get used to a more convex timezone, as she believed the latest theory on the relative speed of time called it, as well as mundane jetlag. She didn't usually sleep much, and judging from the three hours she'd just had, her schedule wouldn't be even faintly normal for a long time yet.
As for the Saintland flight, there wasn't much to say. In the first Strongnesse Trophy to end in a margin of more than a single goal, New Sideburn got twatted.
Whole thing seemed to be a political exercise for Barker, anyway - Auburn didn't much like that idea. Like most Pro-Dem voters last election, she preferred taxes to be spent on infrastructure and internal affairs, though she conceded that with recent events, strengthening the military (which Barker repeatedly stated was thirty years out of date) was probably a good plan. The talks seemed to have gone well, anyway. She'd welcome that - what, after all, was the point in hatred?
She flicked channels to the news. "-grave Barker has rolled out his first military reforms in the form of an arms deal, replacing all outdated battle rifles with modern assault rifles. The Margrave, voted into office four months ago, stresses these reforms are purely for defensive purposes."
"Let's face it," said the Margrave, addressing a large press gallery. "This country's fought one war in the past thirty years, which it lost to, with the greatest respect to Brenecia, a grassroots militia force, with hardly a fight. The calibre of our soldiers and generals is undoubted, but we are doing a disservice to them with poor equipment and outdated training. Furthermore, we need an alliance - a safety net - globally. And I hope that global outreach starts with Saintland this week. When aggressive powers look at us, I want them to be afraid."
The old ways were best!

Original nation behind Nephara. New Sideburn now symbolises an ideal, rather than a nation.

User avatar
German American States
Posts: 1562
Founded: Nov 09, 2012

Postby German American States » Mon Mar 17, 2014 4:56 pm

OOC: Not sure what to name this yet, will figure that out in due time. It follows two national team players whose paths take very different directions over the course of the WCQs.

Chapter 1: Introductions


Hello. I’m Konrad Meisenhal. I’m a striker for Die Kirchestraße XI and the German American national team. This is my story.

I was born in The Hafen, Eisenport, Nordbergen, German American States. My only parent was my single mom, who raised me and my four siblings. My mom worked at a restaurant in the tourist district of Eisenport, by the western coast. She was always thrifty and humble. She never let us forget that no matter our situation, God was watching our for us, as well as her. She was a great role model that showed me how to live your life the best you could live it.

The Hafen is, and was when I grew up, the center of crime in German America. Growing up, my mom and older siblings wouldn’t even let me outside it was so dangerous. There were drug dealers and prostitutes on every corner. One block away was the start of gang territory. Sometimes they misfired their guns, and we had bullets fly through our apartment, leaving big gaping holes. Police was also a constant fixture in our lives, with the cops on our block running patrols and making arrests at all times.

I discovered my talent for football as a child in grade school. During recess, we would play football outdoors with the other kids. It was an escape, a way to let loose from the violent lifestyle of growing up in The Hafen. I felt safe when I had a ball at my feet, and poured everything into my game. I was especially deft with the ball and very fast, proving to be the perfect threat as a striker. I always got picked first in playground games, as well as the afterschool ones I attended to get away from the neighborhood.

I was scouted even at these playground games by academy coaches. You see, academies in the States work differently than ones elsewhere in the Multiverse. There are unaffiliated academies from clubs that have several age tiers. They sign you to play for different levels, starting at U-14 going to U-20. Once you reach 20, you can sign at a professional club. I was signed by SvGG Eisenport Juniors at 12, and played with them until my U-16 years.

When I was 14, I got approached by a club halfway across the country, FK Frauterstein. They promised they would get me to be the most coveted player when I was 20 to get signed. Everything was looking up, until my older brother, Dietrich, was shot in a drive by shooting. He was 16 years old.

Suddenly, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay in The Hafen and help my mom and my other siblings. It took a lot of convincing from my mom and an academy scholarship to get me to leave for Frauterstein. While I was there, we took the national title two years straight, and I committed to sign for DKXI in Mannendorf. They just got promoted from the 2. Liga, and I wanted to make an impact on the team. My first year, we had a great run and won the GAPL. Nothing equates to how it feels to be a GAPL champion.

At DKXI, I met my good friend Peter Kamp. We clicked from the start of practice. He just fed me through balls from the midfielded, and I made things happen. We got to be good friends off the pitch as well, and I’m really excited to see how he integrates with the national squad.

My aspirations are not just to win the next World Cup, regional tournaments, and domestic league, although those are on the list. I want to help my mother, who recently got breast cancer. She has a very rare and dangerous type, and needs special care. I also want to help those in The Hafen get out of their situation, especially the kids. After all, not everything in life is football.


Hey! My name is Peter Kamp. I’m a midfielder for Die Kirchestraße XI and the German American national team. This is my story.

I was born to a wealthy family in Steinbruck Heights. My mother was a lawyer at a practice in Althof. Then there’s my dad. My dad is none other than Wilfred Kamp, the legendary striker for Alle-GAS in the Staatsligen days. He led Alle to 6 titles in the Bezrikliga and would have been on the national team if there was one at the time.

When I grew up, I was surrounded by wealth. I lived in a big house in the Heights overlooking the city. My dad wasn’t really in the house a lot, he worked for a TV network as a football analyst. My mother got me around to all of my school and club football events.

I begrudgingly started playing football at a young age. I really only did it because my dad made me. A member of the Kamp household not playing football would be a disgrace, so he taught me how to strike the ball right. Often dad’s old teammates would come over to kick the ball around, and I was always in the midst of it. From them I learned my first skill moves and how to execute through balls well.

Still, I really didn’t love the game. I signed for a U-14 club team after several protests, and never really kicked the ball around in the backyard seriously. However, I really liked girls and beer. Me and a couple of my buddies would sneak out to the Biergarten every Friday night and steal beer from unsuspecting parkgoers. I flitted from girlfriend to girlfriend over the years, all of them wanting to be with the famed Wilfred Kamp’s son.

With the constant changes in girlfriends and my beerstealing days, I got turned on to drugs. As soon as my U-16 years I started trying krotzer, buying from one of my friend’s older brothers. My life turned on its side when my parents found my stash of krotzer under the floorboards in my room. My dad sat me down. He said I had two choices. Either he was going to tell the police about it and send me to rehab, or I was going to become a more dedicated footballer. I picked the second option.

I did well for myself now that I was trying. I signed with a club with ties to Alle-GAS, and everything seemed to be going alright. I was producing for my club as a distributing midfielder, and the team made several runs in national tournaments. All came crashing down, however, when I suffered an ACL injury. I was taken down in a strange way on a tackle, and I knew something was wrong when I hit the turf. It sidelined me for a while, but luckily my parents got me the best physical therapy and I was playing again in a year.

I went into my last season with not many offers from pro clubs. Many of the teams that were interested in me, including Alle-GAS, were scared away by my ACL injury. They thought I couldn’t produce any more good play, and simply abandoned me. Going into the last days, I had no other choice than Die Kirchestraße XI. I chose to sign with them despite my dad’s wishes to go into the free agent market.

The first year I joined, I had a lot of acclimating to do. The club was still rolling in the doldrums of the 2. Liga, and it was tough to see us not produce results. This went on for another season, but a miracle happened the next. The club seemed to hit its stride. Suddenly, I was playing attack midfielder, and I was scoring goals. I was being set up with great crosses by my middies, and I was using my superior strength to put it past the opposition. We just squeaked by into the GAPL in the last game of the season, as I scored the goal that put us into the Premier League. I was on top of the world.

The next season, we made several signings, including Konrad. We just clicked right off the bat. The manager worked on a new system that had me feeding the ball to Konrad and letting him do his thing. It was a little tough to get used to, but it worked, and it worked well. We won the GAPL that year, something I never dreamt of doing so early in my career. Last season, we didn’t play so well, even in danger of being relegated. We need to improve on that next season.

My aspirations are to put all I can into football. For me, football is life. I want to succeed and do as well, if not better, than my father ever did. I want to be the best.
IC: The Demokratik Republik of Rüntenbach
“Tendimus ad altiora”
Region:Esportiva Demonym: German American
Capital: Muenchewald Trigramme:RTB Population: 67 million
Ranked 30th in the world for football/soccer(KPB:23.11)
Order Adler Sport!(In HueD™)|National Map|Kit Directory/Discussion Thread|Sports Accomplishments|Wiki

User avatar
Posts: 1321
Founded: May 03, 2013

Postby Sangti » Mon Mar 17, 2014 7:02 pm

OOC: This is a rip-off from the 'Where are they now?' feature of Football Manager series.

Where are they now? Barangayan Football Edition

The Royal Barangay, formerly known as Sangti, is currently competing for its fourth attempt for qualification to the finals of the World Cup, this time, to be held in Legalese and Free Republics. Those pesky Republicans whose national team manager did nothing other than bash possibly every Esportivan nation in his articles... While the draw for the qualifying groups is not far away, let's look back on the players who represented the Agilang Dilaw early on their journey so far. As we are having a first broadcast here, let's focus on one player for now.

First, let's have a look in this Market Cup roster, which the first Agilang Dilaw side took part in six matches and two friendlies against Lzherruskia. And the lucky one whose career will be revisited is no other than Williard Navarette. Hoping for a John Utanes? Surprised you there.

Position: Goalkeeper
Age: 36 (post-UICA 53)
Caps: TBD
Current Club: Retired
Domestic Club/s: CD Viocla

If there is one player who donned the number one jersey and started matches for the national team, it's Williard Navarette.

Having played for Los Bolas at the entirety of his career, Williard was a backup keeper when the regional league kicked off on 2008. He claimed the number one spot after two seasons, after their original keeper retired. CD Viocla won the Regional Leagues in 2009 and in 2010, Navarette playing a key part in the latter championship. The next season saw the title change hands to Real Cintore again, and in the 2012 season, Navarette and the rest of Los Bolas struggled to finish in eighth place, but their earlier results merited them a spot in the Primera Liga for 2013.

In the first season of the newly-formed Primera Liga, Williard has been a regular fixture for Los Bolas, until they finished fourth in the league, ensuring UICA qualification at that time. They finished fourth again the next season, which warranted them another UICA adventure. As the Barangayan clubs struggled in the UICA, and subsequent transfers which made other teams stronger, CD Viocla stumbled to a fifth place finish. With age quickly catching him, he decided to hang up his gloves before the 2018 season.

Navarette earned his first cap for the Agilang Dilaw in the Market Cup, playing well through the Baptism of Fire until he injured his leg in a WC qualifying match against Saintland, which kept him out until the Campionato Esportiva at The Glorious Commune. He was the hero of the match against Chrovan, as it was remembered to be his only goal in his career. He would make the starting eleven until that tournament; he would be eventually replaced by Alwin Villejo at goal since the qualifiers of WC66, only playing in the victory against Kalusia in a friendly, but made a return at the Cup of Harmony in Falcus and Free Republics, where he replaced Villejo and started the defeat against Barunia in extra time.

He was named in the roster for WC67 qualifying, but never made an appearance in the eighteen matches the Agilang Dilaw had, and was subsequently dropped altogether at the CoH 59, which then he announced his international retirement.

The two winners medals he received were from the Liga Respana Viejo Division for winning in 2009 and 2010, and a runners-up distinction at the Campionato Esportiva VII.

Written by Roman Barlaan (balitangbarangay.trb)

As Roman finishes his article for WIlliard, Adrian Tuprio, football chief of the KPMB, called him.


"This is Adrian from the KPMB. You are well aware that we hoped for Williard to be our representative for the Seeding Committee, right?"

"Well,, what now?"

"He declined the invitation. I would have recommended John Utanes, but it seems that he is ineligible since he coaches the U15 side. I have a substitute lined up, and that's the reason I'd call you."

"Ah, to tell me that you would find a replacement for Williard? That's good for my next article, that would be a good development."

"Not that Roman, well, you see, I have lined you as our next representative for the Seeding Committee."

"Wait, what? Me? But.. wait!"

"We have already sent a letter to the Legalite representatives of the Seeding Committee stating that you would be applying. I know that you would do it for one person."

"Why? If that so, who would it be?"

"Well you see, those damn Republicans are also lining up their co-chair of that seeding committee."

"I think I know where this conversation is going to."

"Well, that person is Nova. Nova Hellstrom."

"OK. I'll hang up for now. i think there is no turning back, eh?"

With that, Adrian persuaded Roman to apply officially for the Seeding Committee.

The Royal Barangay Sports Council

To Mr. Robert Percival, president of the Federation of Association Football, Legalese

The Konsehong Pampalakasan ng Maharlikang Barangay, abbreviated as KPMB, is the highest sporting body of The Royal Barangay. The council governs the development of sport in the nation, focusing in the fields of football, basketball, baseball, handball, and rugby union among others. The council strives to aid on the development and excellence of Barangayans in the every sport that they enter. We acknowledged our intent to enter the 68th edition of the World Cup, hosted in Legalese and Free Republics, and will undergo a qualification phase in order to qualify for the said tournament.

We have received a letter from your kind office containing information that applications for the World Cup Seeding Committee is currently open for acceptance, and we have responded to it by tendering our application within this letter.

Mr. Roman Barlaan, football journalist currently working for the Balitang Barangay Sports Section will be The Royal Barangay's applicant for the Seeding Committee. He started covering football matches since the first official match of the Agilang Dilaw in the Market Cup. In addition, he covered the league previews for the Liga Maharlika Primera for Season 2017, and has shown enthusiasm for football. He initially worked for the now defunct El Diario Deportivo del Sangti and Pahayagang Pampalakasan before joining his current employers.

We also assure that Mr. Barlaan is in no way a current player, manager, coach or referee domestically or internationally.

We are hoping for your response regarding this matter.


Pedrito Mariano
Chairperson, KPMB


Antonio Arias
Gran Supremo of the Royal Barangay
Region: Esportiva | Sportswire | Trigramme: TRB | Leader: TBA | Libertad Sportswear
Founder, Trofeo de Paz | Co-organizer, IUBC, International Domestic Basketball competition (with Buyan)
Winners, World Baseball Classic 29, NSCAA 6, Federation Club Cup I, Rugby Union World Cup 23 | Qualified for World Cup 68, 69 and 71
<NWW|MOC> Well, I should probably head for bead.
<+Audio> "Tuna has been extortionate since around 2007, stop complaining, jizzballs"
<SNT-FFR> Apparently, I'm not a "good" sports RPer :p
[04:20] <Glo> Ohkay...
[04:20] <Glo> So Esper is officially down
[04:20] <@commerceheights> then how are you sending this message? :P

User avatar
Nexxus Drako
Posts: 242
Founded: Jan 15, 2014

Postby Nexxus Drako » Tue Mar 18, 2014 1:11 am

NXD Dracon-Human Civil War Arc
Campionato Esportiva IX: Pt. 1, Pt.2, Pt. 3
Beltane Cup I: Pt. 4
IX Winter Olympics: Pt. 5, Pt. 6

Nexxus sat next to Skyalina, who had just given birth to a baby boy and was sleeping the pain off. Nexxus kept looking in the cot with their son inside, to make sure he was okay, which he was, but as Nexxus was new to fatherhood, he didn't know what to expect.

Nexxus assured himself that everything was fine, then walked back to the main hallway, as Skyalina had given birth at home. As Nexxus walked down the hall, he was stopped by Jim Templar, his new Vice President, who he had rescued from death row in Yveltal.

JT: How's the baby?
ND: Good, I thought of the name Alestr for him.
JT: Sounds alright, are you sure you haven't considered Jym?
ND: I have, but Alestr Drako sound better than Jym Drako.
JT: Good point. The press room is packed, what are you gonna say?
ND: I'm gonna say that I had a baby and I'm currently trying to deal with that, so cannot answer questions on discrimination and Yveltal and perverts.
JT: Good idea, that stuff can be really disenchanting.
ND: Aye.

Nexxus then kept on walking to the press room, and told them about his baby. The liberal media mostly understood, unlike from the conservative media, who kept hounding him.

After the press conference, Nexxus proceeded back to the nursery, where Skyalina was awake and ready to name the baby Jorj.

SD: I will ask Nexxus about that name now.
DR: Okay, well he just walked in the room.
ND: What name?
SD: Jorj.
ND: I was thinking Alestr, Jorj is a bit harsh when combined with Drako.
SD: Jorj Drako, Alestr Drako. Alestr is better.
ND: Then it's agreed, we will name him Alestr Drako.

Nexxus then sat beside Skyalina and kissed her, then proceeded to continue his duties, as Skyalina needed to be alone for a while.
Last edited by Nexxus Drako on Tue Mar 18, 2014 1:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
Tracker | IIWiki
RP Population: ~250 million
Tech: Modern
Species: 58% Human, 42% Dracon
Leader: President Matthew Parker
Capital City: Drako City
KPB Football Rank - 83Rd (10.51)
IBC Basketball Rank: 13th (8.27)
UICA Rank: 63rd (7.629)
FARF Rank: 1st (22.69)
Winner: None
Runner-Up: WHS 1
3rd Place: The Yttribian Open 1
4th Place: Beltane Cup 1 & 2
Founder of FARF (Australian Rules)
Like Australian Rules Football? Wanna have your league go for glory on the international stage? Enter the FARF ARCC today!
Economic Left/Right: -7.00
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.79

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North Arabia
Posts: 29
Founded: Mar 11, 2012

Sheikh Omar International Stadium

Postby North Arabia » Tue Mar 18, 2014 2:15 pm

Manager Ahmed Nazar and Captain and Vice Captain Mohamed Aboutrika and Haitham Mohammad walk out together to the Press conference. Mr. Nazar as you know this is your nations first International Football Tournament, How is your team dealing with the first time pressures. I think we have been handling the situation very well the players are very focused in training and are performing very well for their clubs this year. I would also like to point out that this is the most exciting title race we have had in some years. Mr. Nazar if you don't mind i would like to ask if you feel ready as manager, You are only 35 years old not long ago you were one of the players. I don't think age has to do with much some of the players in my squad are teenagers. It is all bout the mental state of the players and manager. I may be inexperienced but i do believe i have the required amount of football knowledge and tactical wizardry to perform well. Instead of focusing on the negatives think positive i am sure you wouldn't do any better if put in my position. Mohamed what does it feel like to be captaining your nation at such a huge stage? Alhamdulillah it feels great. Mohamed do you feel any more pressure with the captains armband for your national team and your club side? No i don't feel more pressure i think it is a blessing in disguise. I do not have many years left in my career and i feel the captains armband makes me sort of the coach on the pitch. As a playmaker you already dictate the tempo of the play and command the attack. When i retire i will most definitely look to be part of the national setup once again i feel maybe a coach or Assistant Manager role will suit my development as a coach. Ok Mr. Nazar as many people know North Arabia has a very exciting youth project that is going on can you give us any details. I think we are lucky to have a great youth setup which is aided by our culture. Football is the most popular sport in the nation we have fans and players who love this sport a lot it helps us bring in youngsters with not only talent but devotion to the sport. Our compassionate and intelligent population of 4.058 billion is fiercely patriotic. Our large population also helps develop young players for the future because we have so many people. Mohamed it's no secret you aren't getting any younger what do you think your future holds for you. I think i will have a bright future as i mentioned earlier i will stay in a football. I aim to be a Youth Director for my national team and club team. I want to help the young players become better and more mature. We have a great coaching staff at both the youth and senior levels. I also want to start a grassroots football project in the less fortunate areas of North Arabia. Haitham you just came back from the physios room and the newspapers are reporting you are anticipating a earlier return than expected from your horrific injury is there any truth to these rumors or are you still taking time with rehabilitation? I am very close to making my return the medical staff and coaching staff at Al-Hilal have set a target return date of April 5th in the mean time we have decided it is best for me to train and play a couple of games with the Al-Hilal u19 squad after that i will train normally with the senior squad and undergo a fitness test for the April 6th fixture. Ok last question Mr. Nazar you have been accused by the press as being biased in your selection of players do you have any comments? As we all know the traditional top 4 in North Arabia is very rich with football history and achievements, everyone knows those are the best clubs. I believe even the relegation candidates have very talented players, I do not pick players based off reputations i select them based on fitness, availability, form and skill level you will be surprised by the players i may pick in the final 23 man squad. Tomorrow we will release a provisional 32 man squad players with minor injuries are not ruled out for selection. The manager and his star players leave and head to the locker rooms the press conference has ended.

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North Arabia
Posts: 29
Founded: Mar 11, 2012

New born child jeopardizes Stars WC dreams

Postby North Arabia » Tue Mar 18, 2014 2:18 pm

Breaking News: A North Arabian news outlet has just reported one of the biggest stars in North Arabian Football wife has given birth to a new born child more news coming soon

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Posts: 651
Founded: Aug 09, 2010

The Daily Kernansquillec - World Cup Special 1

Postby Kernansquillec » Tue Mar 18, 2014 2:58 pm

The Daily Kernansquillecan - World Cup Special

First team manager Rachael Sandheart has named her squad of 18 players for the upcoming World Cup qualifying games. World Cup 58 will be the Green Stallion's first in 10 editions after the destruction of the War of Independence. For Sandheart these qualifying matches will also be a first as not only will it be her first time as a manager at World Cup qualifying, but it will also mark her debut as an international manager.

This Kernansquillecan team may be inexperienced, but it does have a great deal of quality. Guingamp has the most players from its squad in the team. 4 of the Guingamp side that won the First Division by 5 points and that made it all the way to the last 16 of the Globe Cup this season on their debut are selected. Julian Yegos, Stuart Kellah, Adélaïde Noupen and Peter Lilac are all expected to shine on the international stage and all four of the 'paysans' are expected to start Kernansquillec's first match. But those 4 aren't the only players with international experience at club level: 8 other players selected for their country also get game time in the various UICA tournaments with saw 8 sides qualify.

There are no real surprises in the selection as Sandheart had already stated that the team she fielded against a Kernansquillec 'B' team, a game that finished 3-0 in favor of the 'A' team.

I am very happy with the team today. They showed real passion on the pitch and tore the 'B' side to pieces at times. Some players in the 'B' side did catch my eye, but I'm confident that the players in my side will be up to the task at the World Cup. The 'B' players will just have to wait, be patient and carry on doing well for their clubs. Their time will come.

The full squad for WCQ 68: Kate Ellysa, Hector Ferly; Richard Bones, Mary Cressac, Jean Dubois, Stuart Kellah, Kim Stoke, Julian Yegos; Julia Fengouli, Marie Iris, Justin Maynard, Adélaïde Noupen, Zac Poutre, Silvio Quaby, Isabelle Zorm; Jay Gigode, Peter Lilac

Kernansquillec's clubs were back on the international stage for their return to UICA football. Guingamp as league winners qualified for the Champions' Cup. Kernansquillec City, New Southampton and Rennes were in Globe Cup action while Rennes du Nord, Mur-de-Kernansquillec, Belle-Isle-En-Mer and the St Markus Youth Academy made the cut for the Series B Champions' Cup.

The start to the games wasn't good at all. Guingamp were up against St Paul : after losing the first leg at the Holy Forden Church 2-0, they were thumped 3-1 in the second leg at home in front of a disappointed crowd. Going out of the Champions' Cup in the first qualifying round wasn't the dream start they had hoped for. But a second chance would be open to them in the Globe Cup.

Other teams didn't have such second chances. Rennes will consider themselves unlucky not to win their first round game against Nile Bridge of Eastfield Lodge. After an away draw with an important away goal they let things slip at home to go down 1-0, 2-1 on aggregate. The misfortune didn't end there for Kernansquillec's teams as Belle-Isle-En-Mer, recently promoted to the First Division, won 2-0 at home against Tagud United. But an early red card and a dismal display saw them lose the second leg in Boring Paradise 6-0. Oddly enough, the squad and the manager decided to reimburse fans who made the long trip to see them play. The St Markus Youth Academy had also qualified for the first round of the Series B Champions' Cup - however the young stars of tomorrow went down 4-0 on aggregate despite an unfortunate 1-0 defeat at home in the second leg against AC Sikane of Taeshan.

New Southampton were, like Belle-Isle-En-Mer, victim of the 'second leg syndrome'. After a 1-1 draw against Fadrön Flight (Taeshan) the class of their opponants really showed as the Saints were beaten 5-0 in front of their own crowd. Thankfully the other two ties of this round of games involving Kernansquillecan sides saw two wins. Guingamp saw off Exton FC of Apox in an intriguing encounter. After going 3-1 down at home, the 'paysans' scored two late goals courtesy of Peter Lilac to secure a draw. The second leg in Apox was a tense affair for the 800 or so Guingampais who had made the trip. but a 64th minute goal from Stuart Kallah secured a fantastic win and took them a step closer to the group stages. Mur-de-Kernansquillec claimed the other win. The Second Division side who just missed out on promotion won 3-0 on aggregate, winning both of their ties with Clinton Cobras (Presidential America).

Mur-de-Kernansquillec couldn't keep the good run up in the Series B Champions' Cup unfortuantly as they were beaten in the Third Preliminary Round 3-1 on aggregate against Assertham TU of Earent, losing both legs. Kernansquillec's intrests in this competition were ended as Rennes du Nord also lost their tie with Kionao Locals (Turori), losing 4-2 on aggregate despite a 2-2 draw in the second leg at home.

And Guingamp would soon represent the final hope of Kernansquillec in UICA competitions. Kernansquillec City got a decent 0-0 draw against AS Bezieres of Valladares at home. But a second leg defeat by three goals to one ended their dreams. On the other hand, Guingamp were once again involved in a high-scoring home game: a topsy-turvy game finished four all with the visitors Canterlot Royals coming from behind 3 times. The return leg was once again a hard fought affair, Guingamp knowing all to well that a draw probably wouldn't be good enough. A comeback win, with international Noupen scoring the equalizer, saw Guingamp get past their Equestrian States opponants to claim a 6-5 aggregate victory.

Guingamp were now two games from the group stages of the Globe Cup. Farfadillis' Dí Maozöxê were next up and Guingamp would host the first leg once again. This time there would be no high scoring affair. A single goal gave the advantage to the 'paysans'. The return leg wasn't as easy. Guingamp went behind early on. Peter Lilac got the equalized on a counter attack early on in the second half. Dí Maozöxê pressed hard and got a second goal. But everyone knew that it wasn't enough due to Guingamp's away goal. Despite hitting the crossbar and having multiple good chances, Dí Maozöxê just couldn't find a way past to the delight of Guingamp's players and fans who were now just one step away from the group stages.

Capitalizt SLANI's Sonoma Center Panthers would be the final obstacle on this fantastic cup run from the First Division champions. And despite their opponents looking on paper like a very tough team the Red and Blacks tore them apart in both legs winning 2-1 away from home and 2-0 at home. Internationals Lilac and Noupen both picked up goals.

And so the group games arrived. 6 games of top class football for Guingamp to show that they can really perform with the big boys. And at the end of it all the impossible happen. They had made it out of the groups. Navel Sharks of Whirl Islands had been the only team up to the task of beating the 'paysans' winning both games 3-0 (H) and 2-0 (A) to claim 1st place. Guingamp however we more than a match for Boston United of Northern Sunrise Islands, raking up a 2-0 (H) and a 4-1 (A) win. Makosile of Vilita were also beaten in 2-0 (H) and 2-1 (A) victories. It must also be noted that over these 6 games Lilac scored 4 goals, Noupen picked up 2 and Kallah also chipped in with a single goal.

The question on everyone's lips was now just how far could this team go? They had already caused upsets against teams from strong footballing nations, against teams on paper who should have beaten them. And they had done it over and over again. The date was set. Atteregav Numa would be the Round of 32 opposition. The first leg was again at home. After one half it was nil nil. At the end of the second two Lilac goals saw his team win 2-1. A faint hope countered by disbelief was now almost a sense of expectation to reach the last 16. Earent's side made a game of it second time round. A goal gave them hope of getting the win thanks to that away goal, but Guingamp were having none of it. In front of a hostile crowd they got that all important equalizer and away goal. Yet another solid performance. Yet another strong side beaten.

Voley, the Superliga Daineri champions, were up next in the round of 16. The last 16. The best 16 sides of the second biggest UICA international cup. Costan was clearly their danger man up front. And it showed why he won the golden ball in his home championship. A hat-trick in the first leg that saw Guingamp fall to a 4-1 defeat in Dainer. It looked very hard to come back from that in Guingamp. But a valiant effort saw Guingamp win the second leg by a solitary effort from Lilac. A 1-0 win against a very good side. But it wasn't enough. The adventure ended here.

Guingamp have proved that they are a top side, capable of competing with - and beating - the very best. Four of their players are expected to start for Kernansquillec. Others in the squad will be all the more experienced after these international club games. Can Kernansquillec dare to dream of a Guingamp-style cup run? Past tournaments have shown us that it is unlikely. It took that exceptional team of WC57 to reach the finals. But an inexperienced bunch of players, many of whom played in WC57, were in that team that finished 4th at the 42nd Baptism of Fire. Football is one of the best sports in the World because it is just so unpredictable.

So, why not dream?

Staying on the same subject, the UICA have just released their new club and national federation ranking. Kernansquillec were unranked before today so it was always going to be an improvement. But it is a great start, with the KERFA being ranked strait in at 74th place out of 150 member federations. Such a high ranking compared to some federations that have been participating for many more seasons is a real testament to the quality of football being played in Kernansquillec.

And a great part of such a great ranking comes courtesy of the quality of football that was shown by Guingamp throughout the Globe Cup. They are the highest ranked team who have only participated in one single season by a clear mile. They are strait in at 146th out of 847 clubs. Guingamp and Kernansquillec striker Peter Lilac payed testament to his club's great international form:

Such a cup run is an absolutely amazing feat. Everyone at the club and in the town is buzzing. We may have got knocked out in the round of 16 but we beat so many quality sides before then, it's just been an awesome experience. I learnt a lot playing against defenders of a much greater quality than what I've come up against in the First Division and I'm certainly hoping to use that experience to help Kernansquillec do well for the World Cup. I know just how much this tournament and how much every single international match that Kernansquillec play in is important to us all as a nation. I certainly hope I can do my bit to help our nation move on from the tragedy of the War of Independence and to do my country proud when I get the chance to do what I do best.

KERFA Ranking: 74th
KERFA Club Rankings: Guingamp (146th), Kernansquillec City (601th), New Southampton (656th), Rennes (685th)

Top Five Associations: Mytannion (1st), Valladares (2nd), Earent (3rd), Eura (4th), Polar Islandstates (5th)
Top Five Clubs: SK Franz Josef City (1st, Polar Islandstates), Yuba United (2nd, Capitalizt SLANI), FC1. Surtsey Island Gulls (3rd, Polar Islandstates), Metropolis Alligators (4th, Valladares), Raynor City United (5th, Valanora)

by Gaëlle Kerl, senior sports correspondent

TDK: After so long out of the international scene what exactly can we hope for Kernansquillec to do?
There are reasons to be hopeful that we will put in a reasonable shift, but I don't think people should be getting their hopes up. We must remember that will be the team's first series of international matches in 10 World Cups; the team has no international footballing experience against national sides.

TDK: But some fans are recalling the great performance at the Baptism of Fire that saw Kernansquillec finish 4th with an inexperienced bunch of players...
That's true they did, and like I said, you can never know what will happen in football. Anything is possible. But we must be realistic. At the Baptism of Fire we were playing against sides who like us were making their international debuts. Our players were inexperienced, but so were theirs. And it must be said that the team was made up of some superb individual and the team formed a solid unit. We still don't know if the new squad will be up to that sort of standards.

TDK: That being said the performances by Guingamp in the Globe Cup and the overall level of the First Division should surely give us a few clues to if we'll be up to the challange?
The First and Second Divisions have a huge pool of Kernansquillecan talent and are hugely entertaining. But you can't build up a World Cup winning team in the space of season. These things take time. Guingamp's cup run was amazing and they showed a great deal of quality. The manner in which their four players selected by Sandheart perform will be key the Green & Whites' performances. But we must remember first of all that out of the other sides that qualified for UICA tournaments, we didn't see too much to give us hope that we are really ready to challenge decent, established federations. And we mustn't forget that just like there's a big step up from First Division domestic football to UICA tournament football, the step up to international football from domestic championships and even UICA games is an even bigger step up. We can't and mustn't expect our players to adapt to it perfectly at the first time of asking.

TDK: So in your opinion Kernansquillec may as good as forget hoping for a decent World Cup?
Not at all! The Kers can still have a good run in qualifying, I'm not saying the contrary. But am I saying that we won't be able to qualify for the finals this time round? Yes I am. But that doesn't mean that the Green Stalions still can't have a very good qualifying round with a few upsets here and there.

TDK: While the draw has yet to take place and the games yet to start, we now know the squad going to the World Cup. What do you think of Sandheart's selection?
She's picked a really strong team here. We've known for a while that this would be the final 18. It's clear that she's gone for the players that have the experience of playing that first round of UICA games. But there are also some talented youngsters in there, Marie Iris is one I'd keep my eye on. She's had a really good end to her season in the St Libherr Premier League and I'd expect her to keep that form up. Overall I fell that this is the best group of players that we have in the country at the moment so I'm very happy with them.

TDK: What would you consider as a 'good' World Cup Qualifying performance?
Well it's always hard to say before we see who we get drawn against and just how the players perform in the first couple of matches. But if we can avoid cricket scorelines against the very best sides and get a few upsets against teams that would expect to beat us, while also beating other newbies to the international scene I'd be happy.

In our next edition...
Winners of the 17th Rugby Union World Cup
Domestic Newswire ~ Football: 66th ~ UICA: 44th ~ Handball: 3rd

Runners-up at Copa Rushmori XXI and at the XIV Handball World Cup
3rd Place at the WSWC I
4th Place at the 42nd Baptism of Fire & 19th Di Bradini Cup
Qualified for the 57th, 73rd and 74th World Cups

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West Angola
Posts: 1455
Founded: Dec 15, 2011
Left-wing Utopia

Postby West Angola » Tue Mar 18, 2014 5:53 pm

(OOC: This is set six months prior to West Angola’s first match)
Over a century of West Angolan football stood clustered on the sidelines, watching the controlled chaos on the pitch. The conclusion of the fifty-ninth Cup of Harmony had seen the retirement of several players, three of which had been retained as part of a coaching staff that, for the first time, would include more than two members. Following the team’s defeat in the Third-Place Match in the Cup of Harmony, Phillip Garren had fully expected to be fired and replaced with one of his retiring players, but had been stunned to learn that he had been offered a contract extension for one more World Cup cycle. Since Isaac Warren’s fortunes were essentially tied to his boss’, he too had stayed on as Assistant Coach, and far from replacing Garren, three of the retiring players had been added to Garren’s staff, filling new positions created to take some of the workload off of the aging Garren. Garren and the Sporting Ministry had long been at odds, but a scandal uncovered midway through the last qualifying cycle had seen the Sporting Minister and several employees replaced with personnel far more friendly to Garren, to which he attributed the sudden shift in attitude.

To Garren’s left, his clipboard an unfamiliar weight in his hands and the dress shoes on his feet feeling out of place for the locale, Luke Parrish watched the candidates for the four forward slots as they ran through their pre-drill warmups. For the last two weeks, Namibe’s Warren Memorial Stadium, where the national team played their home matches, had hosted Phillip Garren’s quadrennial boot camp, and Parrish had faced the arduous task of whittling the twenty-four contenders down to four. The decision had not been easy, the players he had to cut represented some of the greatest and most explosive football talent in all three divisions of West Angolan football, and it was often nearly impossible to divide them based on skill. Cutting the first eight hopefuls had taken a full night of tape-watching, list-making, and frustration, not to mention the difficulty of looking the men he’d just cut in the eye as they cleaned out their equipment.

As hard as the first round of cuts had been to make, however, the next two had been even worse, and Parrish had changed his final list three times in the last five minutes before the deadline to post it. At last, however, he was down to six players, having cut six in the second round and four in the third, and would only need to inform two of them that they hadn’t made the final cut. While the first three rounds had been based largely on his judgment and a judicious review of match film, the final round was predicated on math, with the scores of the previous thirteen days’ worth of trials being added to the fourteenth, and the total being averaged out. Parrish had elected to take the top four averages, regardless of feeling, which Garren had been known to factor in from time to time. While Garren credited his decision to start Michael Larssen over the more dynamic Logan Flosh to his feelings, Parrish was far less confident in his own abilities with the final cut on the line. Looking down at his clipboard as he prepared to start the final set of drills, Parrish reviewed the names one last time:

#  Name            1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14  Avg.
1. Alan Harrison 8 9 7 6 8 9 7 9 6 7 9 8 8 7.76
2. Anna Williams 6 6 7 9 9 9 8 7 8 9 8 6 7 7.62
3. Christian Davis 7 7 8 7 5 8 9 9 7 6 7 8 8 7.39
4. Jack Bernard 9 6 8 7 7 6 7 7 9 7 6 7 8 7.23
5. Will Hastings 4 3 6 9 7 9 8 8 7 9 8 7 8 7.15
6. Mike Chaves 8 6 7 8 5 6 7 8 9 8 7 6 6 7.00

Tucking the clipboard under his arm, Parrish placed the whistle in his mouth and clapped his hands as he prepared to start the final drills, hopefully with the cut out of the way he could get some sleep tonight…

On Garren’s other side, next to Isaac Warren, Blake Green was making a few last-minute notes on the margins of his clipboard as he prepared to blow the whistle to start the final keeper drills. Alex Birke, his backup during the last Cup of Harmony, had performed admirably in his relief work and had been an easy choice to move up into the starting role at the beginning of the process, but there remained several promising candidates for his reserve. Green knew he hadn’t had the job Parrish had, and he didn’t at all envy the former Captain as he attempted to make the final round of cuts from six to four, but Green couldn’t deny that choosing between his two finalists had weighed heavily on his mind the past two weeks. On one hand, he had Gregory Jackson, a veteran keeper for Lobito who had barely lost out to Birke for the Cup of Harmony reserve slot. Jackson was an excellent keeper, and the presence of two defenders from Lobito would help the efficiency of both groups, but Jackson had suffered through his worst season last year, and was in the midst of one which was, at best, average, which made Green hesitant to pick him despite his improved performance in the tryout.

The other possibility was Lubango’s keeper, Holden Barr. Although he was only nineteen, Barr had quickly proven himself in only his first season with the team, allowing only six-tenths of a goal per match and stymying some of the most high-octane attacks in the First Division. Barr had appeared unstoppable through most of the two weeks, but Green had noticed him growing far more restless and nervous as the field was whittled down, and suspected that the pressure was getting to him. Yesterday, he had missed a save that Jackson had made twice before and had nearly put his head through the post in frustration. Despite the young man’s innate talent and work ethic, Green was becoming more and more convinced that he simply wasn’t ready for the international stage, and didn’t want to risk ruining the boy’s psyche for a position that was unlikely to see any playing time barring a grievous injury to Alex Birke. The talent factor was compelling, however, and Green really had nothing more than two weeks of experience to judge Barr on a personal level, for all he knew Barr was always this high-strung. Shaking his head, Green raised the whistle to his lips. He’d just have to see how it all worked out…

#  Name            1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14  Avg.
1. Holden Barr 8 8 7 9 8 9 9 8 7 8 8 7 8 8.00
2. Gregory Jackson 8 7 8 8 7 9 8 8 8 9 8 8 7 7.92

Three sharp blasts from Parrish’s whistle signaled the start of the drill, and the six players immediately formed into two lines of three each. The final drill was an amalgam of all the exercises they’d done for the past thirteen days, and required the players to display skill, ball control, teamwork, speed, and agility to earn a good score. As Parrish watched, Alan Harrison and Mike Chaves took the first ball, passing back and forth as they wove between the cones and pillars that represented defenders and heading towards the goal. Several of the pillars were on tracks which allowed them to move, and one sped laterally as Chaves approached, slamming to a halt directly in front of him and nearly knocking the ball free. Chaves kept control, however, stopping and reversing the ball’s forward progress and launching a touch pass across the pitch to Harrison, who corralled it artfully and danced around another pillar. Parrish whistled softly, that was one of the best plays he’d seen from Chaves so far, he might move onto the table…

Harrison penetrated the box, facing him was Eric Gephas, a keeper who had been cut in the previous round but had agreed to stay on and assist with the remainder of the drills. Artfully stepping around the final cone, Harrison rolled the ball across his body before sending a soft lob across to Chaves. The ball bounced once on its trip across the box, and Chaves, rather than stopping and controlling the ball, fired it directly off the bounce, snapping the goal into the net before Gephas had a chance to react. Parrish nodded approvingly, then marked down each player’s score on his clipboard and figured the new averages with his pocket calculator:

#  Name            1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14  Avg.
1. Alan Harrison 8 9 7 6 8 9 7 9 6 7 9 8 8 9 7.86

6. Mike Chaves 8 6 7 8 5 6 7 8 9 8 7 6 6 10 7.22

The next two to take their turn were Anna Williams and Will Hastings. The two played for Luanda East and Namibe United, respectively, two bitter First Division rivals who had finished one-two in the final table six times in the last ten years. As the two largest cities in West Angola, Luanda and Namibe had always competed for various things, and much of that competition played out in sports. Luanda and Namibe had hosted two of the original eight clubs in West Angola’s football league, and while Namibe had achieved slightly better success, Luanda’s receiving of an expansion franchise had been viewed as favoritism on the part of the league commissioners, and the rivalry had ramped up to an even higher level. Parrish had been interested to see how the two would play together after being at odds for so long, and the two previous times it had happened he’d been quite impressed with their level of teamwork. If they both played well in the final drill, he could conceivably be starting both of them six months from now.

Anna Williams was competing to be the second woman to play for the national team, and he determination to earn that role had been evident throughout the tryouts. As she and Hastings made their way through the obstacles, she appeared to be in form, her passing crisp and her movements sharp, until one of the moving pillars suddenly shifted direction, zigzagging backwards to block her approach. Caught off guard, Williams stumbled and nearly fell, losing the ball in the process. Angrily shaking her head, she ran the ball down and passed to Hastings to let him continue the drill. The pair finished nicely, with Hastings scoring off a pass from Williams, but frustration was still evident on the woman’s face as she jogged back to the line. Parrish kept his expression neutral as he scored them both and averaged the numbers:

#  Name            1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14  Avg.

2. Anna Williams 6 6 7 9 9 9 8 7 8 9 8 6 7 5 7.42

5. Will Hastings 4 3 6 9 7 9 8 8 7 9 8 7 8 9 7.29

The final pair consisted of Christian Davis and Jack Bernard. The two players were teammates in the First Division, playing for Benguela Memorial FC, the club that still claimed Benguela as its home city even though it had been destroyed years ago by a biochemical weapon, but they competed as fiercely with each other as with anyone else in the tryouts. Before the start of the drill, Bernard had held the fourth and final spot on the team, but Will Hastings’ performance had elevated him into that position, meaning that Bernard needed to score an eight to match Hastings, and a nine to take the spot outright. Davis took the ball first, weaving in and out of the cones and pillars as he and Bernard passed to each other, their experience as teammates obvious as they went. The two were in top form as they entered the box and Bernard lined up the shot, but Parrish saw him hesitate and stumble as he attempted to react to Gephart’s movements. Bernard covered up the stumble pretty well by passing to Davis, but both Gephart and Parrish were able to anticipate his move and Gephart easily saved the shot. Both players had performed very well, no doubt about it, but Parrish wasn’t sure it had been enough as he marked down the scores:

#  Name            1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14  Avg.

3. Christian Davis 7 7 8 7 5 8 9 9 7 6 7 8 8 8 7.43
4. Jack Bernard 9 6 8 7 7 6 7 7 9 7 6 7 8 7 7.21

With the final scores averaged, Parrish re-ordered the players and blew his whistle twice, ending the drill. As the players headed to the locker rooms, Parrish made a quick stop by his office to type up the final cut list and then posted it on the bulletin board outside the shower:

#  Name            1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14  Avg.
1. Alan Harrison 8 9 7 6 8 9 7 9 6 7 9 8 8 9 7.76
2. Christian Davis 7 7 8 7 5 8 9 9 7 6 7 8 8 8 7.43
3. Anna Williams 6 6 7 9 9 9 8 7 8 9 8 6 7 5 7.42
4. Will Hastings 4 3 6 9 7 9 8 8 7 9 8 7 8 9 7.29
5. Mike Chaves 8 6 7 8 5 6 7 8 9 8 7 6 6 10 7.22
6. Jack Bernard 9 6 8 7 7 6 7 7 9 7 6 7 8 7 7.21

Four tweets on the whistle—two short, two long—signaled the start of the final keeper drill. As the winner of the coin flip, Barr had elected to take the first turn in the goal, so Jackson jogged to the sideline to watch his competition and stood next to Green. The drill was simple, a ball machine turned rapidly and fired balls at the goal, and the keeper had to anticipate where the ball was heading in time to save it. The job was a little easier than it would have been in a real-match situation, since the machine shot relatively straight and pointed in the direction of the shot for a fraction of a second, allowing the keeper an extra “tell” prior to the shot. Barr took full advantage of the advantage during the drill stopping the first nine shots with ease. On the last, however, Barr’s foot caught on the grass and he stumbled, hitting the ground as the ball rolled past his stretching fingers to ruin his clean sheet.

Frustration was to be expected after an accident like that, but Green saw something more on Barr’s face as he exchanged places with Jackson. Barr looked as though he was about to melt down, and his expression was feverish as his eyes darted between Green and Jackson. At that moment, Green knew that he could not afford to take Barr, doing so could overload the young man’s psyche and leave him broken, sabotaging his future as a football player for what would likely amount to less than sixty minutes of playing time across the entire qualifying stage. Jackson performed passably in his turn, saving eight of ten and confirming Green’s decision as he entered the final set of numbers for form’s sake and little else.

#  Name            1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14  Avg.
1. Holden Barr 8 8 7 9 8 9 9 8 7 8 8 7 8 9 8.07
2. Gregory Jackson 8 7 8 8 7 9 8 8 8 9 8 8 7 8 7.93

Even though Barr had scored higher on the trials, Green had already made his decision. Rather than post the final decision on the bulletin board, Green decided to put up a note calling them both to his office. It would be better to explain to them both personally why he’d picked Jackson over Barr, and it would be especially important to Barr. He only hoped that the teenager wouldn’t be driven even further over the edge by the rejection, so he would have to do all he could to mitigate that by explaining that the decision had nothing to do with his abilities.

The two came in to Green’s office together and sat down across from him. Looking back and forth between their faces, Green steepled his fingers in front of his face and began. “You’re both excellently talented keepers, and the choice between you was not at all easy. However, choosing based on talent alone is not enough, I also had to take into account psychological and logistical issues. For those reasons, I have decided to select you, Greg, as the backup keeper for the team in this cycle.”

Gregory kept too much delight from showing on his face as he shook hands with Green and then Barr, a true picture of graciousness that helped ease Green’s mind about his choice further. As Jackson left the room, however, Barr made no move to follow, although he did stand, “Mr. Green…?”

“Holden, you’re a very talented keeper, one of the best I’ve seen yet, but I could see that the pressure was getting to you. The backup keeper likely won’t see much playing time in this cycle, and I didn’t want to put you through a pressure cooker like that with so little potential for use, especially when I saw what the pressure here was doing to you. Rest assured this had nothing to do with your performance at any point in this process, I just want to save you for when we can really use you.”

Far from disappointment, Barr actually looked relieved, “I was going to thank you, Mr. Green. I’d drawn the same conclusions you had, and I was almost dreading playing if I did get picked.” Barr shook Green’s hand again, then left the office, leaving Green to slump back in his chair, stunned. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to predict what’s going to happen with this crew…
Last edited by West Angola on Tue Mar 18, 2014 5:58 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Fourth Place: Cup of Harmony 59; Runner-Up: Cup of Harmony 55; Champion: Cup of Harmony 57

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Posts: 58
Founded: Feb 13, 2013

Postby Razul » Tue Mar 18, 2014 9:41 pm

OOC: This is going to be the story of Razul's first national team, told through letters, emails, phone calls, and news broadcasts. It will include information about the team's coach: Emmilia Lin-Riley, the millionaire who "started" the team: Jerimiah Aaron, and various fans and players.


Dear Jarry,

I have arrived safely at the hotel. It's very grand and it has an amazing pool. You would love it. I spent this afternoon at a meeting with the team, but this evening I had to myself, and I just relaxed. It was nice after such a busy time getting ready for the trip. I already miss you guys. When I was on the plane, I realized that I had forgotten the camera. It's alright. I'll take pictures with my phone, they just won't be as good. I wish that you guys could have come with me for the time leading up to the games. I can't wait for you to get here. Tell your dad and sister that I miss you terribly (I will tell them too of course.) I want regular reports on how your swim team is doing ;p. Tell me if you get a new record! Anyway, I should be getting back to work. I'm working on a new drill to do with the team. They may be grown men, but you can always practice more. And I swear, sometimes it can be just like when I was working with the kids in the park.

Missing you so much! Hugs and Kisses!

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Posts: 1125
Founded: Apr 09, 2013

Postby Felix » Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:50 am


Special Report: Escape From Yveltal, Kane Wilson's Story
By: Steven Smith

Yveltal, the name reeks of mystery and misfortune, and for Port York's new, 19 year old defender Kane Wilson, there was no mystery on the misfortune he experienced living on a literal hell on multiverse. To say that my experience in the Free Republics was bad is absolutely nothing compared to what this poor boy went through. The horrors in that nation? Unspeakable. And how he lived to tell his story is unbelievable. Born in 1995 right in the middle of era in Yveltal that the World Assembly should've looked at with horror and disgust, a fake god named Yveltal was the supreme leader of sorts in the country named after him. Countless amounts of people died under his rule either by execution or attempts to flee the horrid nation. When Kane Wilson was 9 his parents, named 9BF and 7DE were killed by elites in the country.

For those that do not know the class system in Yveltal, it goes something like this. At the top are the elites of the country, the men and women that are fully hypnotized by Yveltal's powers and therefore are granted "full freedoms" to do what they want. Next on the list is the working class, of which Wilson's parents were and they have "limited freedoms". And lastly, at the bottom of the food chain is the slave class. A socio-economic class routinely exploited and abused in ways unimaginable to the Felixian public. Anytime, should a slave fail at his or her duty, they would be killed swiftly and without mercy. All of the classes are forced to practice a savage religion called Yveltalism which involves animal sacrifice, daily prayers, destruction of heathens, etc.

Going back to Kane's story, he was only 9 when his parents were killed. He soon went to an orphanage but when that closed down he was forced to live on the streets, nearly dying multiple times. Eventually, he was found and due to the fact that his papers were lost when the orphanage closed down. Because of that he was made a slave. And soon enough he was sent in to the Lord Yveltal Football League where he played for Slaves FC. The LYFL, unlike the Felixian Champions League or Felixian Football League, is unfair league as referees are forced to support one side, Lord Yveltal FC. And when Slaves FC faces that club, bad things happen as fouls caused by Lord Yveltal FC were unnoticed and fouls "caused" by Slaves FC were nonexistent.

Overall, the LYFL was a shitty league to play in due to the unfairness. Eventually some Drakonians secretly got the whole team out of Yveltal and into NXD but out of that whole team only 6 survived. 3 of them went to San Jose Guayabal. The rest went to Port York, Felix. A city famous for being a beacon of hope for enslaved people around the world. Those three players include Kane Wilson, Donald Jackson, and William Smythe.

Kane recently told me that story and I was at first shocked and didn't believe it. But as the story was repeated from 5 other players in Felix and SJG it was apparent to me that this thing was the real deal. People are being killed everyday cause of this regime and this has to stop. We need to prevent horror stories as bad as Mr. Kane had. Some people in Yveltal don't have the luxury of escaping, but he did and he told to story to the world. Now, it is your turn to spread the news, we need to the WA to notice this, we need our government with her brand new army to act upon these devils. This is literally a crime against humanity and we can't just watch this happen to an estimated 50,000 people. That's all from this edition of The National, until next time.


Greeting from Felix Mr. Percival,

The Felixian Football Association heard the offer your Federation made and we are highly interested in joining the World Cup Seeding Committee. The FFA is going to nominate 34 year old Yun Dong Lee, former forward for Sporting Volker (in Felix), Boston United (in the Northern Sunrise Islands) and most importantly, the Felixian National Football team in the BoF, World Cups LXV and LXVI. He has recently retired and has became a ambassador of sorts for Felixian football in the Northern Sunrise Islands. He is in the top lists in Felix for international caps and goals scored by a forward. He is truly a the perfect representative for Felix in the World Cup Seeding Committee. We hope that he can be selected.


Ezequiel Hierro
3rd President of the Felixian Football Association

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Neu Engollon
N&I RP Mentor
Posts: 6317
Founded: Aug 13, 2012
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Neu Engollon » Wed Mar 19, 2014 7:55 am


"Good evening. Magda Wertauer with you on the NETV Sports 7 Update. Tonight we look at a preview of the Neu Engollon Goats going into the 68th edition of the World Cup of football. This team is not the same as the one that was in the last World Cup. With the retirement of long time coach Remy Henau and some of the key players, it is one of both seasoned and fresh players. They are about done melding into a united squad on the field, as we have seen over the last couple weeks. The new version of the Goats have already been tested in the Hannibal Invitational just wrapping up in Nouvel Ecosse, the first edition of this sure to be annual tradition in the Astyria region. It is likely to be the premier football competition for Astyria for years to come.

The Goats were the champions in Hannibal, the provisional Ecossian capital. We're sure that they can at least put a decent showing on the greater world stage based on their stellar and steady play towards the final taking of the Hannibal Cup.

This may be the magic combination to enable Neu Engollon to actually qualify this year, we shall see. We are all hopeful here in the Confederacy and I think that strong support will bolster the Goats as they go into the Group stage in Legalese and the Free Republics. We will interview the new Goats coach, Nils Feinbaum, about his thoughts on both the Cup and their winning gold in Hannibal after the break...Stay tuned..."
Last edited by Neu Engollon on Sun Mar 23, 2014 10:33 am, edited 2 times in total.
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New Mumford
Posts: 88
Founded: Feb 23, 2014

Postby New Mumford » Wed Mar 19, 2014 9:50 pm

This was the biggest honor. Ever. President Katz couldn't stomach it. Millions of people watching him. Well,he's only going to farewell to the national football team right? No. Next to being sworn in this is the biggest honor bestowed upon the President of New Mumford. His family is going to stand next to him. "Hey dad?" William Katz II said with his New Mumford uniform on. Katz put on an artificial smile and nodded. His Chief of Staff rushed in. "They need you Mr.President." Katz got up and all of the thoughts about diplomacy left his mind. He was fighting a war overseas but that was second to his as his wife hugged him before they went onto the podium. The Katz family went onto the podium and the band started to play. Followed by the band is the football team. Confetti dropped seemingly out of the sky and they waved to the thousands of cheering fans. They entered the bus. Finally. It's over.

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Postmaster of the Fleet
Posts: 21296
Founded: Jan 17, 2006

Postby Qazox » Thu Mar 20, 2014 12:58 pm

"Pass it Joey!" yelled the young kid, racing along side the slightly older Joey. But as usual, Joey kept it for himself, and as usual scored another goal. The other players mobbed Joey as the young kid took the ball out of the net, handed it to the referee and sprinted back to the centerline, waiting for play to restart. A few more minutes, and Joey got another loose ball and he and the young kid once again started up field. This time 5 opponents started towards Joey. "Joey! Joey! I'm open!" the young kid yelled, wide open with no one even looking their way. But somehow Joey slithered through and scored again, just before the final whistle.

"And that's all folks! The North Lorax City Bruins win over the Upper Valley Vikings 6 to 1, with Joey Lomax leading the way with all 6 of the Bruins goals, giving him a Lorax City U-15 league record 74 goals this season. Come see Joey Lomax and the Undefeated (19-0) Bruins face off versus the 18-1 East Lorax City Eagles on Sunday afternoon in a rematch of the 1-0 classic the two teams played last month, when Joey Lomax scored the lone goal on a corner kick. And as always today's game was brought to you by the Greater Lorax City sports council, Todd Bauer Auto SuperStore, Valley King Supermarkets and 98.1 QLRX, Lorax City's Sports news channel." The announcer droned on, as the two teams shook hands and headed towards their locker rooms.

"Joey! You 'da man!" "Joey, you're so cute, wanna go out on a date?" "Joey, Joey, Joey" the fans shouted along the entrance to the locker room as the North Lorax City Bruins shuffled in. All except their star, Joey Lomax, who stayed behind, basking in the adulation of the crowd, signing fans shirts, hats and papers. "Joey, get your butt in here before all the hot water is gone. Mom is picking us up in like 15 minutes." the voice of the younger kid shouted at Joey. "Okay, Irena, I'm on my way."
Wikipage/Qazox National Football Team
Qualified for World Cups 31, 33, 35-50, 54-59, 61, 62. Runners-up: CoH 52
Baptism of Fire 44 (w/Mangolana); World Baseball Classics 1, 4, 5, 10, 13 and 23; World Cup of Hockey 7 and 14; World Bowls IV & IX; IBC X; Baptism of Iron III and VIII; NSCAA Tourney II, III (conferences/regionals), The OXEN Cup; the TOUR de QAZOX, Qazoxian Sports Festival and NS X-Games/Winter X-Games I.
World Cups of Hockey 4 & 6; World Baseball Classics 6, 8 and 9, World Bowls 3 and XXI; Draggonnii Inviyatii V, IBC XI
xkcd 1110 (zoomable!)

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New Montreal States
Posts: 624
Founded: Antiquity

Postby New Montreal States » Thu Mar 20, 2014 2:42 pm


"This is about the job search."

"Job search..."

"Mr. Minister, you asked me to find someone who'd be willing to participate in a seeding committee for the Legalese and Free Republics FAs..."

"...I did?"

"Gin, sir."

"Right! Well, I'm glad you remembered. So what was it..."

"Past stars no longer affiliated with international football in any way, shape or form."

"Right! Not a lot of those around here, as I recall."

"Not really."

"Most guys get cut after another heartbreaking loss in the Round of 16. Not the stuff of legends. And both of our international-level managers are still managing internationally."

"Yes, sir. I tried to contact all three of the retired players you suggested."

"I did?"

"Gin, sir."

"Right you are! What did they say?"

"Well, Pwin Charbonneau is dead, sir."

"Dead?! Oh right! I was at the funeral, wasn't I?"

"Quite possibly, sir, I was a college freshman at the time."

"Ah well. The wake was my kind of party. What did he die from, again?"

"Mysterious circumstances, sir."

"Right! It's coming back to me. He was on a boat, right?"

"Yes, sir, he was found handcuffed to the steering wheel with a ball gag in his mouth and a bottle of sauvignon blanc up his..."

"Right! That was in the papers for a few days, wasn't it?"

"Few years."

"Way more interesting than the real news, I say. Who else did I tell you to call?"

"Édgar Thibault."

"I'm so sorry. Has he mellowed out with age?"

"Not really."

"Did he take the job, though?"

"If memory serves, he said he'd rather have carnal knowledge of a boxful of scorpions than lock himself in a room with a pack of administrative drones to determine a list of meaningless rankings."

"Carnal knowledge?"

"I may be bowdlerizing a bit, sir."

"How would he do that, anyway? One at a time, or all at once?"

"That's between him and his psychotherapist, sir."

"He's in therapy?"

"I really hope so."

"What about Fred Nguyen?"

"He's too busy with his new talk show, sir."

"Talk show?"

"Right Said Fred, sir. Number three in the 2-3 P.M. slot, and he says he can't afford any distractions from moving on up."

"Ah. So where do we go from here?"

"I was going to ask you, sir. You are the Minister of Morale."

"Right! Well. I should make an executive decision, then."

"Yes, sir."

"Something bold. Visionary, even."

"Yes, sir."

"What about Spanky?"


"Spanky. The wino who's always asking for change outside the ministry."

"I know who he is, sir, I'm just wondering..."

"He's been there for over thirty years now. Hell, he's been here longer than most of us."


"It's decided, then! We'll send Spanky! I think he's ideal for the post."

"...yes, sir. What's his real name?"

"Haven't the foggiest. You should go ask him. I think he's out by the loading dock, trying to bum smokes off of the cafeteria staff."

"Yes, sir."

The Ministry of Morale
69 Union Square
New Montreal

To Mr. Robert Percival, President of the Legalese Federation of Association Football

President Percival,

The NMS Ministry of Morale has received your solicitation for applications to the World Cup Seeding Committee. We are pleased to submit Gilles "Spanky" Duceppe for the signal honor of representing the Ministry, and by extension the NMS Sporting World, on this vital and august body.

M. Duceppe has become an integral part of the Ministry's daily affairs during his thirty-one years and seven months of panhandling outside the Ministry's headquarters on Union Square. During this time, he has befriended countless members of the Ministry's staff - as the junior staffers are found of saying: "Ministry employees come and go, but Spanky will always be there to finish your sandwich for you." Through this lifetime of networking, M. Duceppe has gained tremendous inside knowledge of international football's inner workings.

In addition to knowing where all the bodies are buried - yours and mine alike, I might add - M. Duceppe boasts the following impressive qualifications:

- Played for the New Montreal Football Giants (NMSFL 4th-tier side) after issuing a fake press release announcing his transfer to the side from rival side FC Black Hawk Sun of suburban Moncton Sands. He appeared in three matches as a fullback before the ruse was discovered.
- Earned two caps as Second Assistant Deputy Waterboy for the NMS Paladins before being dismissed for vomiting on striker John Randle-Cunningham during practice.
- Arrested for streaking across no fewer than fifteen different pitches across NMS.
- Was once given 5/8th of a leftover pizza by King Bua of Wight as the latter left a secret meeting at Ministry HQ that finalized the details of the successful NMS/Wight WC64 bid.
- Surprisingly good at bass guitar.

We feel that M. Duceppe is more than qualified for your seeding committee, and we hope you will confirm him forthwith.



Minister of Morale
Last edited by New Montreal States on Sun Mar 23, 2014 9:41 am, edited 2 times in total.
WBC 26 champions!
4th place finishers, World Cup 11; 2nd place finishers World Cup 31; Cup of Harmony 53 winners
Co-hosts of World Cup 28 and Cup of Harmony 16 with The Archregimancy; co-hosts of World Cup 64 and Cup of Harmony 54 with Wight; co-hosts of Cup of Harmony 50 with Vilita



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