by Nightkill the Emperor » Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:34 pm
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:55 pm
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Constaniana » Wed Jan 29, 2014 8:14 pm
Ameriganastan wrote:I work hard to think of those ludicrous Eric adventure stories, but I don't think I'd have come up with rescuing a three armed alchemist from goblin-monkeys in a million years.
Kudos.
by Nationstatelandsville » Wed Jan 29, 2014 8:25 pm
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Winthrop's name was heard in whispers in Namibia, as the man had began to take over other places in Africa, his name feared and respected.
For now, however, there was a meeting for Alia and Beatrice in the Dean's office of Windhoek University. "Hello, Queen Alia." said Professor Duncan politely, the British man very obviously staring right at Alia's boobs. "My name is Professor Ian Duncan, though you knew that already. I was here to discuss whether we could potentially get a raise for the classes here...? I've called up legal representation for the University to help us represent our case. Mr. Lamar should be here shortly."
by G-Tech Corporation » Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:40 pm
by Nightkill the Emperor » Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:25 pm
Constaniana wrote:Grand Saint-Cardinal Beatrice Lillia rolled her eyes as the Dean stared at the bosom of her queen. She would have slapped him for such an act, but Duncan's overwhelming aura of patheticness convinced her such an expenditure of calories was utterly worthless. Instead she decided to comfort Saint Alia in her time of need as she struggled to endure a conversation with Duncan.
ACTION: Lovingly feel Saint Queen Alia up with tentacles for moral support.
Nationstatelandsville wrote:Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Winthrop's name was heard in whispers in Namibia, as the man had began to take over other places in Africa, his name feared and respected.
For now, however, there was a meeting for Alia and Beatrice in the Dean's office of Windhoek University. "Hello, Queen Alia." said Professor Duncan politely, the British man very obviously staring right at Alia's boobs. "My name is Professor Ian Duncan, though you knew that already. I was here to discuss whether we could potentially get a raise for the classes here...? I've called up legal representation for the University to help us represent our case. Mr. Lamar should be here shortly."
Benjamin K. Chang, keytar expert and head of the local Klingon club, peered down at the proceedings from a grate in the Dean's office with great interest.
Not because Chang actually cared about Alia, or any human being for that matter. No, Chang was interested because he had noticed earlier this morning that Duncan had brought in a turkey sandwich for lunch. (Or, as Duncan called it, a "wicket".) If there was anything in this world that Chang truly loved, it was a turkey sandwich. If there was a second thing, it was stealing from Duncan. If there was a third, it was popular televisual actor Nathan Fillion. If there was a fourth, it was stealing turkey sandwiches from Duncan.
Not that Chang loved anything, if we're to be honest.
Getting to the sandwich was made problematic by the fact that, if there was anything in this world Duncan loved, it was beating the shit out of Chang. This meant Duncan had to be distracted, which would be great difficulty in a room with Alia in it. For a normal man, this meant patience and attempting at a later time. Luckily, Benjamin Chang can't define the word "patience". (Or "later".)
Chang picked up a canister of spray paint, stolen from a random student seven months ago. He pulled a rubber band around the nozzle and the body, before removing a screwdriver (stolen from the wood-ship) from his pocket.
"Get ready to get Chang-ed!" Chang proclaimed to no one. With that, he drove the screwdriver into the nozzle and pulled it loose, spraying a stream of spray paint out. The rubber band holding the nozzle open, Chang lobbed the canister out of the (gratuitously large) grate and at Duncan's head.
Action: Throw a canister of spray paint at Duncan.
G-Tech Corporation wrote:Through the pane of sparkling diamond Winthrop stared, out at the empire forged of men of clay and ships of steel. Graceful spires of black metal stabbed the sky, their glistening obsidian rising from the sands of inner Rhodesia as an ancient forest once graced the slopes of the familial estate of the House of Eddleton; a blissful history left far behind. Through time and space he had walked, slain a moose with a drop-pod, slain fundamentalists with a moose, devoured the Nine Hells- it was a tale indeed, too long to tell here, for Winthrop's fucked up existence even he didn't know the entirety of.
What was once the dapper gentlemen was gone, replaced perhaps in eons past-or perhaps in ages yet to come- by a fearsome fusion of man and machine, of what some termed corpse-flesh, others brute machinery. To Winthrop it was merely himself, the evolved Dracula, the animator of the Monster that whelp Mary Shelly wrote about, the traveler to the Yuan Dynasty, the Man in the Iron Mask. His name was Winthrop, and he had a call. The great edifice that was the Lord of the Dissant Machine Empire turned from the stark vistas of NeuHar, and with a whizzing of gizmos and some belches of flame, in the cacophony of the voices of the slain and the pleasant gurgle of stolen organs, he opened a line.
His deep voice, full of the whirring of gears and seeming almost as if two other voices spoke with him, one a whisper, one a shriek of steam, echoed back through the link.
"I am Winthrop, Daleks. Speak, and I shall listen."
As Sally cooed softly in his ear and the static of the channel through space and time frittered on, the God-Emperor made his way to his workbench at the rear of the room. Daleks. Not a word he had heard before, but if they knew of him and he knew not of them, things could get dicey. A memoy, or perhaps a prophecy, a vision of the future past tugged at him, and Winthrop grinned. A bit of blood trickled from lips not his own as steel teeth glinted behind a sewn-together face.
Action: Construct coal-powered clockwork time anchor out of bits and bobs. Preferably one that emits flames when started and whistles on the hour when working. By coincidence, it might look exactly like the Antikythera Mechanism.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Zarkenis Ultima » Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:15 am
by Nightkill the Emperor » Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:25 am
Zarkenis Ultima wrote:Alia leaned back on her throne, which had been carried over to the office by her worshippers and servants, as she listened to the Professor, who was essentially asking for more money for the university. Usually she wouldn't really refuse, but she figured she might as well also hear what this Mr. Lamar had to say. It wasn't like she had a whole lot to do, after all, and she figured this could be interesting.
Not that waiting was much more entertaining than doing nothing, mind you.
What was entertaining was what Beatrice was doing. It was nice enough that she didn't really mind the spray paint all over her. It did, however, make her loyal paladin less dignified, so the Queen decided to do her a favor.
ACTION: Clean Beatrice. Thoroughly.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Zarkenis Ultima » Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:42 am
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Roll: 8
Alia's tongue cleaned off Beatrice extremely thoroughly. No square inch was left uncovered. Of course, this meant Beatrice's armour was removed.
Duncan no longer paid attention to his hatred for Chang, instead focusing on Alia and Beatrice with great interest.
"Um, can you clean me off?" He asked.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:02 am
Zarkenis Ultima wrote:Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Roll: 8
Alia's tongue cleaned off Beatrice extremely thoroughly. No square inch was left uncovered. Of course, this meant Beatrice's armour was removed.
Duncan no longer paid attention to his hatred for Chang, instead focusing on Alia and Beatrice with great interest.
"Um, can you clean me off?" He asked.
Alia, enthralled in her task as she was, and about to move onto something far more interesting, stopped and looked at Duncan when he spoke. How long had that man been there? Oh, right, he was the one they were meeting with. Well, no matter, a Goddess owed her faithful subjects as much as they owed her for her gifts and teachings, after all, and, as one such Goddess, and as the Queen of Windhoek no less, she had the same duty with her people.
ACTION: Clean Duncan.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Zarkenis Ultima » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:50 am
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Roll: 10
Not only do you clean off Duncan (and render him nude), you also do the same with yourself. (Now also nude.)
Duncan, for his part, is transfixed now and immobile. He had caused a bit of a mess as you cleaned, but you fixed that for him too. And he was grateful.
(+2 on persuading to do anything for five turns.)
by Nationstatelandsville » Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:36 am
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Zarkenis Ultima wrote:
Alia, enthralled in her task as she was, and about to move onto something far more interesting, stopped and looked at Duncan when he spoke. How long had that man been there? Oh, right, he was the one they were meeting with. Well, no matter, a Goddess owed her faithful subjects as much as they owed her for her gifts and teachings, after all, and, as one such Goddess, and as the Queen of Windhoek no less, she had the same duty with her people.
ACTION: Clean Duncan.
Roll: 10
Not only do you clean off Duncan (and render him nude), you also do the same with yourself. (Now also nude.)
Duncan, for his part, is transfixed now and immobile. He had caused a bit of a mess as you cleaned, but you fixed that for him too. And he was grateful.
(+2 on persuading to do anything for five turns.)
by Constaniana » Thu Jan 30, 2014 5:45 am
Ameriganastan wrote:I work hard to think of those ludicrous Eric adventure stories, but I don't think I'd have come up with rescuing a three armed alchemist from goblin-monkeys in a million years.
Kudos.
by G-Tech Corporation » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:07 pm
by Nude East Ireland » Thu Jan 30, 2014 5:34 pm
by Nightkill the Emperor » Thu Jan 30, 2014 7:00 pm
G-Tech Corporation wrote:Winthrop had been distracted. Not distracted by the sexy, as was usually the case, or the fleshy, as also happened, but by the coffee.
It was delicious, even with the Daleks- whoever they were- screeching in his ears.
"Daleks, your aid would be most appreciated. Soon, soon, the scourge of Windhoek will be purged from the face of this blasted Dark Continent. White man's burden, stiff upper lip, all that."
Action: Imbibe coffee from steampunk coffee maker.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Rupudska » Fri Jan 31, 2014 4:04 am
Hladgos wrote:Scantly clad women, more like tanks
seem to be blowing up everyones banks
with airstrikes from girls with wings to their knees
which show a bit more than just their panties
by Nightkill the Emperor » Sat Feb 01, 2014 1:44 am
Rupudska wrote:Thankfully for Yuzuki she landed on her ass, which was further cushioned by her large, fluffy raccoon tail.
"Ughh... where the... hell am I?"
She looked around, noticing Winthrop.
Well this certainly isn't Elfen High, she thought to herself.
Wait. My spellcards!
ACTION: Check pockets for magic bullet spellcards
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Sat Feb 01, 2014 1:46 am
Zarkenis Ultima wrote:Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Roll: 10
Not only do you clean off Duncan (and render him nude), you also do the same with yourself. (Now also nude.)
Duncan, for his part, is transfixed now and immobile. He had caused a bit of a mess as you cleaned, but you fixed that for him too. And he was grateful.
(+2 on persuading to do anything for five turns.)
Alia, confused as she was regarding the possibility of being doubly naked somehow, was glad that once again she had fulfilled her duty as the Queen, Goddess, Prophet and several-more-such-titles of Windhoek. However, just as she owed her people, so too did they owe her for everything she did for them, and so, the Queen tried to think of ways in which this subject could repay her.
Anyway, he seemed compliant, and she decided that she'd try something just for the hell of it.
ACTION: Convince Duncan to restore her power.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Sat Feb 01, 2014 5:09 pm
Constaniana wrote:Beatrice purred like a content kitten as her queen cleaned her off, only without the darkness and lust for genocide waiting to blossom within that kittens had. Beatrice would have continued "cleaning" her queen, but she sensed possible danger, and decided to don her sexy armour once more to be prepared.
ACTION: Equip sexy kevlar paladin armour
Nude East Ireland wrote:Barnaby left his office, sniffing the air and sighing as he did. "Fuck this shit," he muttered quietly, as he began to walk down the street. His office - Lamar Law Offices - was a shoddy little building in a middle-class part of the city. And, it was right down the street from the best bar in Windhoek.
Action: Go get shitfaced at the bar.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Nightkill the Emperor » Sat Feb 01, 2014 5:10 pm
Nationstatelandsville wrote:Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Roll: 10
Not only do you clean off Duncan (and render him nude), you also do the same with yourself. (Now also nude.)
Duncan, for his part, is transfixed now and immobile. He had caused a bit of a mess as you cleaned, but you fixed that for him too. And he was grateful.
(+2 on persuading to do anything for five turns.)
Chang couldn't help but exploit this - if only he could get down there.
ACTION: Rip the grate off.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".
Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.
by Nude East Ireland » Sat Feb 01, 2014 5:26 pm
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Nude East Ireland wrote:Barnaby left his office, sniffing the air and sighing as he did. "Fuck this shit," he muttered quietly, as he began to walk down the street. His office - Lamar Law Offices - was a shoddy little building in a middle-class part of the city. And, it was right down the street from the best bar in Windhoek.
Action: Go get shitfaced at the bar.
Roll: 9
You walk into a local bar, trip and your face falls upon a mound of dog shit.
by Zarkenis Ultima » Sat Feb 01, 2014 5:33 pm
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:Zarkenis Ultima wrote:
Alia, confused as she was regarding the possibility of being doubly naked somehow, was glad that once again she had fulfilled her duty as the Queen, Goddess, Prophet and several-more-such-titles of Windhoek. However, just as she owed her people, so too did they owe her for everything she did for them, and so, the Queen tried to think of ways in which this subject could repay her.
Anyway, he seemed compliant, and she decided that she'd try something just for the hell of it.
ACTION: Convince Duncan to restore her power.
Roll: 4+2 = 6.
Duncan tries his best, but fails.
by Constaniana » Sat Feb 01, 2014 5:51 pm
Ameriganastan wrote:I work hard to think of those ludicrous Eric adventure stories, but I don't think I'd have come up with rescuing a three armed alchemist from goblin-monkeys in a million years.
Kudos.
by Nationstatelandsville » Sat Feb 01, 2014 8:55 pm
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