The Lazarene Gazette - First Broadsheet!

by **The Lazarene Gazette** » Sat Jan 25, 2014 10:28 pm

The Lazarene Gazette is the official news outlet of The People's Republic of Lazarus.

Editor-in-Chief: Ainin

Contributors Past and Present
Kazmr
Milograd
Bobodol
Ikania

by **The Lazarene Gazette** » Sun Jan 26, 2014 1:04 am

Memories of a Revolutionary
Three Months of Harmony

October 16, 2013... that was the day I died.

No, that's not quite the case. Perhaps it would be better to say it was the day I was reborn. That fateful day was is the day that Lazarus, the region of rebirth, was recast in the fires of Revolution and emerged stronger, carrying all of its people with it.

As the wheel of time turns ever onward, there are those who may forget the events of that day. With the patriotic activity and numerous military successes brought on by the Harmonious Society that is the People's Republic, it is all to easy to think that it has always been this way. All to easy to forget the push that brought Lazarus an unparalleled era of prosperity.

That is why I have decided to publish my account, the memoir of a small part of the heroic cadre that started it all. I am not Harmoneia, mother to us all, who knew the only way forward was socialism. I am not Milograd, beloved Chairman and vanquisher of jaywalkers, who has overseen this time of plenty for the workers. I am not the great shepherd DYP who saved the Revolution in its darkest hour. But I was there.

I was there.

My own story begins nearly a month before the day that would change everything. It was September, and I was just another resident of Lazarus trying to make my way in the harsh world that was the monarchy. To the new generation of Lazarenes, those days would be utterly unrecognizable. Then great ironworks and factories that now fill the capitol, providing work for all, were only dreams. The great armies of Lazarus, today liberators of all those oppressed by tyranny, were a shell. As glorious as it now is, it was a graveyard.

Coming of age in that world, one of the few children of the era, gave me the idea that it would always be that way. I had never seen activity; in truth I wouldn't have known it if I had the concept was so foreign. So, when the old Romanov Feux resigned the throne, I at first believed it would be more of the same. Though I was delighted when I received a government posting, it was not as if that meant much. I was an Editor-in-Chief without a staff. A commissioner without a commission.

Soon after, though, I met someone who opened my eyes to how wrong this world was. While I had interacted with Milograd before, the fertility rate in Lazarus was so small at the time that everyone knew everyone, I did not know his whole history until I chanced to speak with him in private after a government meeting.

I learned then just what Socialism was, and from that day onward believed it would be the key for Lazarus to rise from the ashes. On the way out of the palace, he told me of how it could unite the inner fora with the wider region whose voice was rarely heard. He explained how it could liberate those who had been oppressed by the status-quo of the entrenched oligarchs of countless regions. He opened my eyes to how equality for the workers of Lazarus could push us ahead of all others.

My first action came some after that harmonious awakening and took advantage of the one resource at my disposal: The Lazarene Gazette. After using the press to create signs calling for socialist reform, I ensured that the appearance of those very posters was on the front page of the paper. Up until then, Socialism had been a back room discussion in the bars and salons frequented by those who yearned for change. Now it was at the forefront of everyone's mind. Almost immediately, the pressure began to build. Polling in the region showed more and more in favor of the cause, and the tipping point was not far away.

That point turned out to be October 16. Popular legend would have one believe that the wharves of the capitol, where the righteous proletariat fishmongers labored to distribute the bounty of the sea to the city, where the powder keg that launched a revolution. Alas, that is not quite the case. The call to arms came instead from a small house where several of the most dedicated socialists, myself and Milograd among them, sent out the word for a general strike. The fishmongers where the first to heed the call, but they were by no means alone. The tugboat captains of the bay joined in shortly afterwards, as did the beekeepers in the city's east side.

In a matter of hours, life in the kingdom had ground to a halt as the working class took to the streets. For hours, songs of revolution and future prosperity rang in the squares of the city. The banners and signs could be seen everywhere. All the people's energies yearned for this.

For much of history, tales like this have ended in bloodshed. The proletariat rises up to claim their rights, only to have the bourgeois haul out their guns and use the information provided by a handful of class traitors to silence all calls for change. This revolution, though, something was different.

Sitting on the throne of Lazarus was not some petty aristocrat, dulled and fattened by generations of inbreeding. Harmoneia was both a warrior poet in the classic sense, a philosopher who wielded a sword. Rather than fight the tide, she embraced it, and for that all are indebted.

On that day, Harmoneia abdicated the throne, only to be named the first Chairwoman of a new Lazarus, a Peoples Republic of Lazarus. Though there was still a long journey ahead, what with a whole new state to forge, she would lead the region through the first great trials.

At the time, there were many scheming foreigners who opposed these changes, decrying it as a loss of Lazarus' 'independence' and 'stability'. Those of us who knew our cause was just did what we could to counter them, but in the end it was our actions that changed them. Most sing a different tune today.

Though the early days of the People's Republic are a far cry from the great socialist paradise of today (the army was still getting on its feet, The People's Congress had yet to be elected, the treaty with Balder had yet to be revoked), it laid the solid foundation. Without those formative weeks, the world's most active sinker region would still be stuck in the past, and these vivid memories would have been little more than fiction.

by **Hobbesistan** » Sun Jan 26, 2014 1:06 am

The Glorious 501st Tugboat Brigade is the single instrument responsible for the revolution.

by **Carta** » Sun Jan 26, 2014 1:13 am

Let us never forget the unremitting heroism of the 13th Tugboat Maintenance Brigade and their loyal wives.

...

...

...

On a serious note, though, it's been an enjoyable 3-monthes. Time flies when you're having fun.

A fun read, Kaz, as per usual. Shine on you crazy diamond.

by **The Lazarene Gazette** » Sun Jan 26, 2014 6:45 pm

Revisionism Abounds in Jaywalking UCR!
Heroic Chairman Withdraws Offer for Relations

Less than a day after accepting a benevolent offer to exchange embassies with the glorious People's Republic of Lazarus, an outreach that could be seen as the first step towards true harmonious prosperity for any region, the bourgeois 'democracy' of the Versutian Federation has attempted revisionism on an appalling scale.

Earlier today, that region secretly sent subversive telegrams to the multitude patriotic citizens of Lazarus, as well as a number of other sinker regions, only admitting their action after being called out by Venico of Osiris. The communications contained, among other lies, the claim that:

You may have noticed that [region] may not be very inclusive. Sinker regions like [region] tend to collect lots of nations that aren't active, mostly puppets and otherwise inactive nations, and their governments tend to be run by an organized elite rather than a true democracy, meaning that most nations can't be involved in government in any significant way. As a result, there often isn't much regional activity...

Such a blatant attempt to pull wool over the eyes of innocent patriots in Lazarus is truly an attempt to disrupt the harmonious social fabric of our utopian region. It is known to all that any who are willing to contribute their labor to furthering the cause of the October Revolution are welcomed with open arms in Lazarus, the result of which has been an industrial mobilization on a massive scale. Production of iron, rice, and children has never been higher in our region, despite what VF may claim. One only needs look at the message board visible to all to see the blistering growth, or stray into the public fora where activity records are being shattered month after month.

The claim that an 'organized elite' is behind this defies all logic, as Lazarus is truly a region for the people. The vanguards of the Revolution are not some monolithic bourgeois holding the strings, but rather an ever growing group of patriotic citizens concerned with the success of our region. One only needs to look at the current government, which has changed numerous times since the revolution all with the goal of achieving greater harmony between forum and game, to see that this is the case. The 'Democracy' that is the Federation, meanwhile, has not seen a delegate change in nearly eight months and has had many of its ministers in power for that same length of time.

Despite the frictions Lazarus may have with other sinker regions, it is still undeniable that this concerted attempt to devalue their prowess is a crime. Balder's industrial output was only recently surpassed by that of Lazarus, and they are second to none when it comes to producing common consumer goods like canned meats. Osiris, meanwhile, was singled out quite unfairly, seeing as their noble leader Ravenclaw is supported by anything but 'dark forces'.

The result of this is oppressive, counterrevolutionary action has been widespread criticism on all fronts, and certainly a weakening of the legitimacy of this 'Federation' in the eyes of the workers of the world. After heroic comrade and First Fishmonger of Lazarus Meow Zedong brought the act to the attention of Chairman Milograd, the latter decided to retract an earlier offer to extend a hand of friendship and truth. Let that strike a blow to the heart of their shoddy government.

by **the Imperial Crown** » Sun Jan 26, 2014 7:02 pm

*stands up and starts applauding*

by **Kringalia** » Sun Jan 26, 2014 7:16 pm

A most sound course of action. Kringalia sends its regards and approval to the Chairman and the People of Lazarus.

by **Lazarene Gazette** » Sun Jan 26, 2014 8:42 pm

PRL COMMUNITY REACHES 10,000 POSTS
January 26, 2014

Pictured: Workers and Peasants Proudly Display Their Copies of "Quotations from Chairman Milograd and the Lazarene People's Party" in Scarlet Square.

FORBIDDEN CITY, LAZARUS - It started as a whisper last night. A rumor spread through the tugboat docks, to the factories, and then to the homes. It was on the radio that the Politburo verified the rumor as fact: the PRL had tallied its 10,000^th post in just over 3 months. It was all true.

It was hard to believe, for some, that the revolution had come so far. In the ten years prior to this, Lazarus had only accumulated a total of 53,000 posts across all of its boards. But here, today, the PRL had reached 20% of that total in roughly two percent of the time.

Villagers, peasants, urban workers, residents of the coastal provinces, and all citizens of the People's Republic then spontaneously assembled in the capital city to celebrate the PRL's achievement. Rallying in the streets, they have been cheerfully chanting the praises of the PRL's quarterly success in exceeding the state-established activity quotas. The production of iron has been a cause central to the October Revolutionaries ever since they bravely chose to establish a new system that would ensure the realization of hitherto unknown amounts of success, and so this milestone is more than just a trophy. It is a confirmation of the Lazarene dream and a milestone in the march towards harmony.

Chairman Milograd, who has been the PRL's supreme leader throughout most of this period, had this to say:

"In November, it was a milestone whenever the PRL reached one hundred posts per day. That milestone fell to the milestone of two hundred posts per day in December. And now, in January, the milestone of three hundred posts per day is often striven for. We make more posts per day than we once made per month. I am thrilled that the People have made it this far. They've truly earned it by supporting the PRL, be that by raising shields against subversive invasions like the Winter Siege or by simply logging in everyday."

"Maintaining this success has been no easy feat," added one civilian. The contributions of up and coming party members such as Bodobol, Ikania, Labargoth, Alexej, Sigmus, Fantome and Rostov, on top of those of the earlier members of the revolution, has helped the PRL continue to raise its production levels even in the face of the winter's greatest tests. Indeed, the revolution, and the labor of both its youngest and oldest members, continues to yield delicious fruits.

by **Kazmr** » Sun Jan 26, 2014 10:56 pm

I only wish I was contributing to all of that post count XD

One thing to point out that I don't know is quite touched on is that a lot of that activity is more than just the spam games (even like, with all regions, that is certainly a big contributor). The military, for example, is a big contributor, as are the various government subforums, election threads, world assembly affairs, RPing, and NS/region related discussion.

Last.fm · by **Bodobol** » Sun Jan 26, 2014 11:41 pm

Forge's Den Reopened!
27 January 2014

Lazarenes gather at the rebuilt Forge's Den.

Lazarus is celebrating the renovation and reopening of the Forge's Den, a renowned tavern home to storytellers regionwide.

Several Lazarenes going about their business on the evening of 18 January noticed that the Den, a formerly dinky and cobweb-covered structure devoid of life on the corner of New Lazarus Street, had been redecorated to have a completely new look. It was a surprise to many, seeing as how the tavern had been closed for most of the past several months.

The Den was almost immediately filled with faces both new and old. The first to arrive were treated to the sight of none other than Comrade Milograd himself joining in on the initial discussions with other Lazarenes. Comrades Cameron M Romefeller and Bodobol were employed by Milograd as bartenders for the tavern. The two happily accepted the job, working irregular shifts serving drinks and talking with the visitors.

The new Den has attracted a steady stream of Lazarene citizens, far more than it did in its last incarnation. Most of these were visitors had never been within the tavern before. As well as a hub for storytellers, the Den also now hosts several cartographers working with others to map out Lazarus completely, a daunting task never achieved before. This new burst of activity can be attributed to the high fertility rates achieved under Milograd's reign.

Bartender Romefeller was enthusiastic about the tavern, applauding the Den as a sort of break from the fighting of military and politics. Comrade Llamas, a part of the Cultural Cadre and new to the Den, was also excited, perhaps a bit overly so. While taking a swig from Dragunova Whiskey, a trademark product of the tavern, he explained through slurred words that he loved it there and complained about his friend Ikania not being there to celebrate with him.

Instead of rehashing the same old retold stories, several new stories are being created. One of particular note is 'The Great Revolution', started by Bartender Romefeller and now circulating amongst several storytellers such as Pergamon, Fantome and Llamas.

New Lazarus Street was already a bustling hive of activity prior to the reopening thanks to prominent buildings such as the dubious Lazarene Lair and the press of the Lazarene Gazette itself. Now, thanks to the reopening, even more activity is being generated in the location, with the side effect of drunkenness among some Lazarenes.

by **Charax** » Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:07 am

The Romanov Feux? Feux is not a Romanov. <_<

Also, Romanov's were Russian. I'd have gone with Emperor Qing or something.

by **Kazmr** » Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:38 am

Charax wrote:The Romanov Feux? Feux is not a Romanov. <_<

Also, Romanov's were Russian. I'd have gone with Emperor Qing or something.

Eh, it was an old joke from the Laz staff forum

by **Harmoneia** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 5:28 am

Charax wrote:The Romanov Feux? Feux is not a Romanov. <_<

Also, Romanov's were Russian. I'd have gone with Emperor Qing or something.

Except China's last emperor, Puyi, was an innocent little child who got betrayed by his power-hungry baby-sitter General.

kinda awkward picturing Feux as a child. :lol:

Super awesomes, as always, Kazmr! And I was really pleasantly surprised with Bodobol as well!

by **Milograd** » Tue Jan 28, 2014 8:42 am

Harmoneia wrote:
Charax wrote:The Romanov Feux? Feux is not a Romanov. <_<

Also, Romanov's were Russian. I'd have gone with Emperor Qing or something.

Except China's last emperor, Puyi, was an innocent little child who got betrayed by his power-hungry baby-sitter General. kinda awkward picturing Feux as a child.

Super awesomes, as always, Kazmr! And I was really pleasantly surprised with Bodobol as well!

Who is Guangxu? Who is Cixi?

by **The Lazarene Gazette** » Thu Jan 30, 2014 10:03 pm

Terror Strikes People's Republic as Machine Attempts Coup
Valiant Governor Narrowly Saves Region

The dangers that "science" and "technology" prove to the working class have once again been revealed due to a disastrous experiment performed by Hobbes, the only Lazarene to currently hold a 'Permit for the Approval to Make Use of Computational Gadgetry'.

Using some sort of mystery that he called 'programming', the tiger inadvertently created what some may call 'artificial intelligence'. True patriots, though, recognize this so called intelligence as little more than a capitalist plot to undermine the efforts of the proletarian march towards Harmony. This was demonstrated perfectly when the machine, which Hobbes was demonstrating in The Citizen's Square, attempted to stage a coup of the government.

It began by utilizing the weapon, or 'MAC cannon', Hobbes had attached to it on Comrade Kogvorun, officer of People's Liberation Army and chair of the 'Peoples Committee for the Advocacy of Good Public Hygiene Practices'. The weapon temporarily stunned Kogvorun, and the machine, calling itself 'Serina', turned on others. When Hobbes ordered the machine to use the cannon on itself, it replied with a firm no.

With its attention fixed on the creator, though, a chance opened up for Governor Kazmr of the Information District and longstanding member of the 'Bureau for the Advancement of Turnip Cultivation' to put an end to the disaster. The brave governor snuck up behind the machine, raised his sabre, and cut through the ropes that carry electricity into the various parts of the mechanism. As it shut down, the machine further proved its trechery by singing a well known anthem of capitalist excess, "Daisy Bell", which promotes, among other bourgeois frivolities, marriage and bicycles built for two. A true patriot would be satisfied devoting their lives and reproductive schedules to the state while peddling using only their own Socialist elan!

And so, once again, 'science' proves itself to be the enemy of the proletariat. Hopefully workers like Hobbes and others will take that into account before attempting to construct a new abomination.

by **Carta** » Fri Jan 31, 2014 6:15 am

Science is our best friend and our greatest enemy.

by **The North Polish Union** » Fri Jan 31, 2014 12:11 pm

I have no idea what this means... :meh:

Even after I stripped away all the Communist propaganda etc. I still have no idea what it means...

by **Charax** » Fri Jan 31, 2014 12:12 pm

I'm about 60% sure it's to do with the IRC bot.

by **Kazmr** » Fri Jan 31, 2014 5:18 pm

The North Polish Union wrote:I have no idea what this means...

Even after I stripped away all the Communist propaganda etc. I still have no idea what it means...

War is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength.

Notice the onion reference in the header

Hopefully from now on that can be used to differentiate our actual articles from our satire, 99% of which is messing around on IRC

In this case, Charax is right; that article was just a fun play on the IRC bot for our channel.

by **Drop Your Pants** » Sat Feb 01, 2014 3:30 pm

I didn't notice the onion till you pointed it out

by **The Lazarene Gazette** » Wed Feb 19, 2014 11:28 pm

The People Rejoice!
100 Days Today, 10000 Tomorrow!

Truly it is a most glorious day in Lazarus! From the Scarlet City itself to the countless patriotic villages where socialist culture thrives, all are celebrating a most auspicious day! Indeed, today is the 100th day of our beloved Chairman's Harmonious Guidance of Lazarus!

Though many trials were faced along the way, especially from a small counterrevolutionary clique early during this most vibrant of periods, the people have prospered thanks to the swift hand, strong arm, and dashing looks that Milograd has brought to the delegacy.

The accomplishments themselves are, in fact, far too numerous to name. An exponential increase in iron production, from a mere handful of posts per day to hundreds, is certainly one of the highlights. So too is the Revolution in Culture brought about by the efforts of valiant Marshals appointed by Milograd to oversee the implementation of roleplaying in Lazarus. Another star on the flag is the rapid population growth which has seen both immigrants flock to our Great Eastern Star and a surge in the birth rate which has seen many new players get their start in Lazarus.

Perhaps no accomplishment is greater, though, than the turnaround Lazarus has taken on the world stage. From the most isolated backwater among the GCRs, not active or powerful enough to be respected but not subjected to enough coup attempts to attract the press, Lazarus has now become a power on the world stage, leading the recent wave of GCRs declaring officially for the virtuous defender cause. The great heroes of the Lazarene Liberation Army who serve on the front line deserve endless waves of credit, but they draw much of their inspiration from Milograd, who is ever supportive of their attempts to Liberate the oppressed of the world and often fights alongside the common soldier.

In Lazarus itself, the merriment and revelry where glorious. All the workers of Lazarus were given the day off and a bottle of baijiu from the state, leading to revelries lasting from dawn to dusk. At 11:11 in the evening, a time marking the auspicious day when the Milograd era began, the entire region broke out in our beloved leader's favorite song, March of the People's Liberation Army.

May the first hundred days lead to 10000 more!

by **Drop Your Pants** » Thu Feb 20, 2014 3:24 am

The great heroes of the Lazarene Liberation Army who serve on the front line deserve endless waves of credit, but they draw much of their inspiration from Milograd, who is ever supportive of their attempts to Liberate the oppressed of the world and often fights alongside the common soldier.

Aka he won't stop pestering me.

by **The Lazarene Gazette** » Fri Feb 21, 2014 9:19 pm

Truly Those Who Enter Regions With the Intent to take the Delegacy and Forcefully Alter the Community are Practitioners of a Noble Martial Art!

Antiquated terms such as no longer have any place in the modern lexicon of patriots the world round as descriptors for heroic soldiers!

In recent days, many of our world's preeminent philosophers have contributed with great elan to a growing body of knowledge demonstrating that the continued use of 'oldspeak', that is the language used by primitave ancestors not aware of the higher plane of knowledge brought by such modern wonders as influence, has led to widespread subjugation of the working classes. Language such as 'raid', 'invasion', and the worst slur of all 'grief' not only pull wool over the eyes of the naive proletariat, turning them into misguided cogs dedicated to stopping the nonexistant threat, but also denies the true nature of the action such words describe. Indeed, those who partake in the culture so often demeaningly described are in fact protecting the very people their foes claim they harm. What a petty bourgeois member of such organizations like the FRA may call an invasion is in fact a rescue operation to enlighten natives to the virtues of black cloaks, banjections, and making fun of Unibot.

These recent developments prove once and for all that the act of sneaking into a region before the update so as to become delegate without the consent of natives is not only exempt from the negative portrayals from the past, but is actually beneficial! Indeed, one of the great shames of the modern era is the fact that regions like Slavia were torn from the warm embrace of those who sought to protect it. Those who accomplished that goal brought out any number of slurs, ranging from 'raided' to 'ejecting natives', completely ignoring both the colossal victory of those who held the delegacy and the gracious act of leaving the region without even being asked. Thankfully, though, such regions as Anarchy and St. Abbadon are currently being reeducated to cure them of their old prejudices, and this paper heartily commends the various groups hard at work rectifying the wrongs of a decade of semantic oppression.

Linguists the world round are already hard at work devising new terms for the dictionary; recent submissions include "Missionary Aid" for the act of ascending the the delegacy amidst the update, "Conversation Sanitation" for filtering the content of a regional message board, and "Cormac's Bearhug" for removing subversive elements who would seek to interfere with the operation.

Erstwhile "raiders" have responded enthusiastically to the new measures. A spokesman for the newly renamed 'Fraternity of Magnaminity' stated that, "we can't wait to bring the world's founderless regions with our loving embrace," and promised to deal with those who objected to their noble cause, "with extreme prejudice".

In other news, aren't those damned 'fendas and their tricky propaganda so silly? Who do they think they are, trying to make those non-gameplay veterans think they're trying to help by talking about nonsense words like 'liberations' and 'defenses'?

by **Unibot III** » Fri Feb 21, 2014 9:50 pm

Excellent.

by **Benevolent Thomas** » Fri Feb 21, 2014 11:20 pm

Great article :clap:

The Lazarene Gazette - First Broadsheet!

The Lazarene Gazette - First Broadsheet!

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