Awesome/Funny NS quotes (not your own quotes, please)

[Stattr]

I consider it freezing rain...

The roads are iced over.

Snice is Jesus's way of telling you to do drifts.

[Anollasia]

Remove the crowd and it'd be beautiful.

And here we have Divair, who actually suggested to remove the crowd from a Chinese city.

[Thafoo]

I'm happy to die, makes life more worthwhile. I just really, really hope it's not something like being run over by a buffalo stampede or being fatally stabbed by Mitch McConnell.

Looking forward to dying? Especially with Mitch McConnell?

Ok. Look. Dying isn't fun guys.

It doesn't end with being fatally stabbed by Mitch McConnell, that's just where the pain begins.

You've got a sharp, pointy thing in your stomach pressing on all of your nerve endings. Like a needle going into your arm to draw blood, this knife is hanging out of you. It's heavy, and nobody's going to pull it out because they know you'll bleed to death. Every time your heart beats, it rubs against the blade. Just breathing is putting you into insurmountable pain. Chances are, Mitch dipped it into pig feces, so you'll catch sepsis. You'll get to feel a tingling sensation where the knife entered, and that's the bacteria eating away at your epidermis. Inside though, bacteria is multiplying like crazy, attacking your circulatory and respiratory system. Your breath smells of poo. You know why.

The paramedics come, and lift you onto a gurney. You drop hard on your back, and your organs press forward. The knife cuts deeper, and hits your spine, where the bulk of your nerves are. Mitch waves goodbye, getting away with everything because politicians do what they want to.

You're in an ambulance. They stuff a mask on you and get you high on oxygen so you stop screaming. They take you to the hospital. They know you're dying, but want to charge your family for insurance anyway. Once you hit the emergency room, the bacteria's making you want to throw up. Your heart and lungs are infected with sepsis. You're unable to breath because of the inflammation in your airways. You gurgle up thick saliva, and slowly choke to death on it. It's all over. They send their apologies- and the $10,000 bill- to your family and to your insurance company.

That's what it's like for Mitch McConnell to kill you. Dying isn't fun, especially when you're killed by Mitch McConnell.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Utah allows gay marriage.

This was unexpected.

Why just have twenty wives when you can have twenty husbands as well?

Why just have twenty wives when you can have twenty husbands as well?

Now, are my husbands also allowed other spouses? Because that fuck-web would be impenetrable.

Ironically enough.

Both of these are funny in their own way.

[Luveria]

From the gay marriage thread:

I'm not even going to bother trying to top you guys. I'm just going to send my kids to be tutored by you.

Every one of them.

Lel'd at underlined. I REALLY hope that was intentional.

[The Republic of Lanos]

AEK 971 = Jesus

An ineffectual jewish reformist whose teachings have been warped and misused to found a new religion that at this point pays only token homage to his original intentions? I newer knew Russian gun design was that deep.

[Len Hyet]

It's pretty bad when I can start identifying the threads that these quotes came from, isn't it?

[Kouralia]

After all that happened, it was a blessing to finally see this post:

It is up to me to save NS from the IP vandalizers.

No, it's not.

[Arglorand]

Let me take this one, I got it Vazzie boy

Indoors when not having the space for it? When not having the money to pay for the growing equipment?

Then farm the 'local animals' if you catch my drift, cities are pretty densely populated with food, if you look for them. Apartment complexes actually put them right above, and beside you dwelling.

Without any money?

Find a small child with a lemonade stand, knock them over, steal the lemonade, reinvest all the profits into buying more lemonade.

Like what?

I don't know, but I've already given ways to get food and a job, what more do you want? /s

[Thafoo]

There was a report asking if something was Kosher involving someone saying that Turks will be easy to fight because they are chickens and pigs or something like that.

Chickens are kosher; pigs are not.

OH.

Rolled-up newspaper applied.

[Anollasia]

Dear Santa;

This year I have been a very good dictator.

All I ask of you is a police force so I CAN MAKE MY SUBJECTS FEAR ME.

Yours sincerely,
~Supreme Leader Infuschein

[Vitaphone Racing]

It's R&C spouting bullshit again, it's really nothing unusual

I take offense at that.

I usually know what I'm talking about.

[Arglorand]

It is an evil, failing party which does not follow its own policy. It is intent in destroying the Upper-Class, something I find despicable. How can one follow a party that has failed so many times?

Ask the people who vote Tory.


Ouch.

[Vareiln]

...I'm sure he had a few designs left in him...

Burying a Kalashnikov shouldn't stop it working...

[The Republic of Lanos]

[Perhaps the founder account could be held by a group of senior members of your region? That would allow the current founder to move to his nation whilst keeping your region secure.

Multiple ownership of the same account, I would guess, wouldn't be looked upon too kindly by the powers that be (IP and account sharing make rule enforcement harder) - if it's recognised that some form of mechanism to allow regions to outlive their founders is necessary, what's the problem with implementing a succession system?

The input from the raider side seems to be focusing almost exclusively on the realm of how R/D is effectively an integral 'part of the game'. It's been abundantly proven already that it isn't (R/D is a player-created construction making use of the WA and regions in an unintended fashion, changes were made to the game to accommodate that form of gameplay over time but by the time these developments occurred, there were people RPing, people who played NS for the WA side of things and so on and so forth) -

It makes about as much sense as playing chess and asking to be safeguarded against the queen. It's part of the game.

- which means that it's less this, and more asking to be safeguarded against the queen from the chess table across the room when you're trying to play bridge, whereas the way things are mean that the queen is allowed to trash our game of bridge unless we follow a particular set of rules. And all this in a room where, in theory, people are allowed to play chess, or bridge, or whatever strikes their fancy. There've been a number of slight variations along this theme that're equally questionable - there're those, for example, who seem to believe that raiding's inherent superiority derives from the fact that this site describes itself as a political simulation (somewhat satirically, may I add) and R/D is the most authentic form of simulation on this site. Which is equally questionable; if you think that the vandalising of geopolitical regions whose security and stability rests on the shoulders of a single UN delegate is a genuine reflection of international politics, so be it, but RPers have their own brand of politcking and geopolitical interaction that's flourishing on the forums. Even disregarding the fact that this site shouldn't be treated with such a closed mind, there should be no reason why one brand of 'politics' should be hoisted over another.

All that having been said, I think this discussion has developed, for the most part, to the point where RPers aren't trying to bash in the head of raiding once and for all. Nor are we asking for a blanket opt-out, despite the fact that, in theory, there's absolutely no reason why an RPer should have to find themselves dragged into the consequences of raiding - most are doing this because they recognise that the ability to opt out entirely would have an impact of sorts upon raiding, and that raiding can't really continue unless it continues to be foisted onto others against their will. And really, if raiders can't see that and understand that it's a concession being made on a terrible point out of nothing but the view that the R/D game should be preserved alongside what we're trying to build up and given its own room, there really are no greater concessions we can make during the course of a discussion such as this.

Most of what we're trying to look for - founder succession, regional officers, the assurance that raiders will stop tearing apart regions every time they finish an invasion (and that they can be held to enforced standards of behaviour) - is being pushed because we're looking for some degree of assurances having made that concession. We recognise that raiders have their own particular way of enjoying the game and that's something we don't want to get rid of outright, but we also think it's highly unlikely that raiders will suddenly find themselves incapable of enjoying that game if we secure particular means by which to keep things functioning and to allow regions to exist in a fashion that meets the needs and circumstances with which RPers find themselves saddled with. Will it become harder? Quite possibly, in a very limited capacity across a limited number of regions. Will you no longer get to do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it? Absolutely - to which I have to ask, since when was defacing regional pages outright and the RMB to the point where natives can't use either at all acceptable in the first place? All the arguments that've been thrown out completely disregard everything we've been saying for nearly fifty pages now. Get a password? Page one, and a few pages since then - Morrdh made a good point here - it's been discussed. Strip your delegate of powers? Again, page one, and this has been discussed all the way up until the last few pages as well. Move to a new region when your founder CTEs? Many people have pointed out that trying to get an entire RPing region to move, especially with the intermittent membership that defines a lot of these older regions, is a far, far more immense task than raiders can possibly imagine. And there's no decent reason why, after a few months away from the site, an older player should come back and suddenly find that they have no region to return to, no community with which to talk.

We're making our concessions, we're providing our defences. Continually parroting the same, inane mixture of 'get a thicker skin' and 'it's part of the game' doesn't do anything about that, and it doesn't develop this discussion in any way. Yes, we get that the current status quo wildly favours raiders against everybody who doesn't want to have anything to do with them - no wonder you don't want it changed. But that's the root of this entire problem, a problem that's drawn countless RPers to this thread with more to come, inevitably, and something's got to give, eventually. Again - you can't have your cake and eat it. R/D isn't the most important form of gameplay on NS, just as RPing isn't, and if we're all supposed to co-exist we need to do so under terms that are as equitable, and mindful and respectful of the other as we can make them. As it stands, they're not - and thus things need to change.

[Shofercia]

Although I disagree with this quote from a political perspective, I have to admit that it's very funny, and even it's only awesome from a funniness perspective, I feel that it's inclusion in the awesome or funny NS quotes thread is appropriate:

Looks like Russia was putin a bad situation, and now they're russian to improve their international image.

[Constaniana]

Although I disagree with this quote from a political perspective, I have to admit that it's very funny, and even it's only awesome from a funniness perspective, I feel that it's inclusion in the awesome or funny NS quotes thread is appropriate:

Looks like Russia was putin a bad situation, and now they're russian to improve their international image.

Looks like I'll have to get a Canada country jokes out of the cupboard to respond to this.

[Merconitonitopia]

I drank many thing

[Ruridova]

Although I disagree with this quote from a political perspective, I have to admit that it's very funny, and even it's only awesome from a funniness perspective, I feel that it's inclusion in the awesome or funny NS quotes thread is appropriate:

Looks like I'll have to get a Canada country jokes out of the cupboard to respond to this.

Kenya please stop before this gets out of hand?

[Blasveck]

We could is be lying ourselves to prolong its inevitable death.

Why would we lie to ourselves about stuff on the Internet?

Now if you will excuse me, I, George S. Patton Junior, need to go get a cup of coffee.

[Thafoo]

viewtopic.php?f=20&t=276578

All of TET, so far. It's been so touching how, just because Maud/Seito confessed that he was lying, that he was just wearing a mask, and that I convinced him to stop lying, then other people started confessing to what they've done, and now everyone's crying. It's just... heartwarming. It's not usual TET. It'll never be like this again, I can tell you that.

[Damanucus]

I drank many thing

It's pretty rare for Shelby to admit to drinking on the forums; I didn't even know she drank!

[Constaniana]

Looks like I'll have to get a Canada country jokes out of the cupboard to respond to this.

Kenya please stop before this gets out of hand?

Iran into a professional nation pun-maker the other day. I'm not kidding, Israeli what he does for a living.

[Grenartia]

Kenya please stop before this gets out of hand?

Iran into a professional nation pun-maker the other day. I'm not kidding, Israeli what he does for a living.

You guys better stop with these puns, before I kick Djibouti.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Iran into a professional nation pun-maker the other day. I'm not kidding, Israeli what he does for a living.

You guys better stop with these puns, before I kick Djibouti.

I Czech this thread and this is what I see?

Are you guys Ghana stop this soon?