Elfen High 2 (OOC 8, Closed, Will it Hurt?)

[Lazarian]

yeet

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Who the fuck are you?

Your worst nightmare, obviously.

Just checking in.

Nietzsche has not absorbed you yet?

[Nationstatelandsville]

Who the fuck are you?

Your worst nightmare, obviously.

3 hours ago

Who are you?

3 hours ago

Your worst nightmare.

Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill me!

[Lazarian]

yeet

[Astrolinium]

So?

I imagine the spot on which it's built has always held some sort of magical significance. I think perhaps at one point it would have been a sacred place to, mmmm, perhaps Sulis.

Maybe because it's a dragon corpse.

Yes, but the dragon corpse could have been shoved anywhere. There must have been a reason for this specific spot.

And, on second thought, Latis might be a better goddess than Sulis -- Latis was the goddess of beer.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Maybe because it's a dragon corpse.

Yes, but the dragon corpse could have been shoved anywhere. There must have been a reason for this specific spot.

And, on second thought, Latis might be a better goddess than Sulis -- Latis was the goddess of beer.

Do you really think the dragon could be bothered to be selective about where it died?

[Nightkill the Emperor]

In PL's OOC, when one of their absent members came back for a while, they all hugged him and squeed.

We just want to know why Ende isn't dead yet.

[Astrolinium]

Yes, but the dragon corpse could have been shoved anywhere. There must have been a reason for this specific spot.

And, on second thought, Latis might be a better goddess than Sulis -- Latis was the goddess of beer.

Do you really think the dragon could be bothered to be selective about where it died?

I always figured that it didn't necessarily die in that spot but that they moved it to a good location.
But you'd know the canon better than me.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Do you really think the dragon could be bothered to be selective about where it died?

I always figured that it didn't necessarily die in that spot but that they moved it to a good location.
But you'd know the canon better than me.

Admittedly, our concept of canon is just what Khan and I make up on the moment, what I bother to remember, and what I choose to tell you all.

Anything resembling canon or plans around here are just a massive gambit of mine to mislead Khan.

[Lazarian]

yeet

[Astrolinium]

In PL's OOC, when one of their absent members came back for a while, they all hugged him and squeed.

We just want to know why Ende isn't dead yet.

To be fair, it's me.

Hugging and squeeing at my return would not be a proper reaction.

Nothing about Elfen High is proper.

[Nationstatelandsville]

In PL's OOC, when one of their absent members came back for a while, they all hugged him and squeed.

We just want to know why Ende isn't dead yet.

To be fair, it's me.

Hugging and squeeing at my return would not be a proper reaction.

Once, Ende's mother hugged him.

No one has seen her in four years.

[Lazarian]

yeet

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Nothing about Elfen High is proper.

Ah, fair enough.

So, how are all you lot doing?

Pretty well, all things considered.

[Astrolinium]

DOMESTIC AFFAIRS
A TALE OF ERIC AND PARNELL

Tap-tap-tap. Eric tapped away at the keyboard as notes appeared on the page – he was making some good progress on a project he’d been working at on and off for the past several years, and had about twenty minutes’ worth of music written so far. He hummed a bit of the tune of the bit he was at, and then again, changing it slightly, and then he frowned rather severely. It was very reminiscent of Brahms’s lullaby – a representation of what his mind was focused on for the moment.

“No,” he muttered, “I’m not sure I like the way that sounds at all…”

“Oh, come on, it sounds fantastic, just like everything else you write!”

Eric smiled as warm hands began to caress his shoulders. He removed his headphones and looked up into the smiling face of his husband, Parnell. Parnell was, well, as far as Eric was concerned, pretty fucking great. Maybe even… he wanted to say perfect, but he wasn’t sure he could ever go as far as to say that again. That was a bad set of memories for him, which he mentally pushed aside.

“Hey,” he said softly. “When did you get home?”

“Just now,” said Parnell. “I actually remembered to pick up the milk this time.”

This was met by laughter from the pair – Eric’s laugh was deep and jolly, coming up from his belly in a way that was rather like Santa Claus. Parnell’s was higher in pitch, more of a “ha ha ha” than a “ho ho ho”. Together they formed a thoroughly happy chorus.

Eric stood, then, and wrapped his arms around Parnell, pulling him in for a quick kiss. His voice low and husky, he said, “Why don’t I make dinner tonight? You can go and, uh, watch the sports or whatever.”

Parnell smiled halfway and said, “Yeah, the sports. Alright.”

Breaking the embrace, Parnell kicked off his shoes and flopped onto the couch. He didn’t, however, turn on the TV. Well, I say TV, because it was technically a television, but most TV was actually streaming at this point, though certain things were still broadcast on regular channels like they’d always been. Parnell suspected the BBC and ITV would keep chugging along until the end of days, although the BBC had downsized to only two channels just last month.

Parnell looked over at Eric and said, “What are we having?”

Eric frowned – well, it wasn’t quite frowning. It was a similar gesture, but it carried more of a hint of not actually knowing the answer to the question. Really, it would have been better said as “Eric pulled a face”. After a moment, he said, “Something meaty, I think. Meat’s important to have.”

Parnell chuckled and said, “You know I love lots of meat.”

A hand flew to Eric’s mouth as he grinned and coughed. “You’d think that, after the years we’ve known each other, I would’ve learned to pick my words better.”

Parnell merely grinned winsomely and said, “Make sure the vegetables are plenty phallic too.”

Eric rolled his eyes, suppressing a smirk, and said, “You little shit.”

***

Several minutes later, the two sat at the table, eating. Eric had prepared sausage with green beans and corn. He himself drank skim milk with the meal, and Parnell had a glass of wine. A red wine, from Languedoc, he thought. 2010 – a very good year. He sipped it delicately, savouring the taste.

Eric, poking at his corn, inquired, “How was work?”

Parnell made a face and said, “Oh, y’know, same old. Crowley’s, well, Crowley. At least most of the kids have gone home, although it always seems like it’s the little shits who have to do summer school.”

Eric smiled. “At least you’re occupied. I tell you, I’m going to go crazy here home alone all day – I wish marching band was as big over here as it is stateside and then I would have something to do all summer.”

Parnell shrugged and brushed his foot against Eric’s. He said, “I mean, I know you. You’re good at keeping occupied.”

Eric sighed. He licked his lips and put his fork down. It was… oh god, it was coming out. The words were spewing out of his mouth and there was no stopping them.

“Parnell, I think it’s time we talked about having kids. I want kids.”

Parnell choked on his wine and flew into a coughing fit. After a few moments that involved rather a lot of hands waving about, he calmed down, though his eyes were noticeably wide.

“You what?”

Eric sipped his milk awkwardly and then said, softer, “I want kids.”

Parnell was silent for a moment, then nodded almost imperceptibly. “Alright,” he said.

Eric cocked his head to the side. “Wait, are you… did you just agree with me?”

Parnell mirrored his husband, eyebrows furrowed. “I’m not entirely sure.”

Eric’s face dropped. “Oh.”

Parnell licked his lips, sighing, and put his hand on the table. Instinctively, Eric grabbed it, holding it in his own. His thumb rubbed against Parnell’s warm skin.

Parnell said, “Look, I just… I don’t know if I’m – if we’re ready for that. That’s a huge thing, Eric. To have a kid – or kids – and bring them up. And this isn’t some normal life – we’re living in an underground village full of, of… I don’t even know what ethnicity half these people are! And we’re beneath a magic school made out of the corpse of a dragon!”

Eric’s upper lip curled into a sneer. “Excuses.”

His face softened and he continued, “Parnell, are you ever going to be ready to be a dad? We’ve fought monsters together, for Christ’s sake, is raising a kid that much of a challenge?”

Parnell shook his head, eyes still wide, his voice raised somewhat. “No, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready, Eric! Do you really want to raise a kid in this place? Look at the Jamesons! They’re freaks!”

“And? The Sairnbrics next door are doing just fine!”

“Yes, but we aren’t… whatever the hell they are! Eric, they don’t use electricity because they think it’s an evil spirit!”

“So imagine how well we could do if they can manage!”

The entire time, their voices had steadily risen to the point where they were now shouting. Standing, Parnell firmly placed both of his hands on the table.

“Eric, no amount of shouting is going to make me ready to be a parent!” He ran his hand through his hair and turned around, groaning. “I hate how you’re always trying to pressure me into things just because you want them!”

“Parnell!”

Eric stood as well and reached out a hand, but Parnell folded his arms across his chest and stalked off.

***

Later that night, Parnell lay in bed, facing towards the wall. Eric lay next to him, in his hands a copy of Les Misérables – a classic novel which he had, until now, somehow managed to never read. Though he could easily pull up a copy on his lenses, he preferred the physical book itself at bedtime. Reading on his lenses always kept him up – something about the light being projected into his eye, he imagined – but an actual book helped him with falling asleep.

After a moment, he dog eared the page he was on and set the book aside on the night stand. He and Parnell lay there in silence for a moment; Eric turned to look at his husband, and put a hand on the blond’s shoulder.

Parnell merely grunted and shifted slightly.

“Look,” Eric said, “I’m sorry about earlier. You can’t… don’t blame me for getting upset. I know that kids are something you’ve never been crazy about and I’ve always wanted them, and I just felt… it hurt to put that out there and then for you to shoot me down.”

Parnell rolled his eyes, though Eric couldn’t see it.

There was more silence.

“Please, talk to me.”

After a moment, Parnell sighed and rolled over.

“You always misrepresent everything to suit your own interests!” he said.

Eric frowned.

Parnell continued, “I never even shot you down. I was hesitant and you attacked me. You always fucking play these games where you try to make yourself out to be the victim.”

Eric’s face might as well have been made of stone, for it did not change at all. He said, “I… I’m sorry.”

“No you aren’t,” said Parnell. “You just want to have sex.”

Eric rubbed his eyes. “No I don’t,” he said. “I want to go to sleep but I don’t want us to go to sleep mad at each other.”

“Well, that’s too bad, because I’m staying mad at you,” Parnell said. “And you always want sex. We’ve been married for seven years now and I think I know you well enough to say that if you had your way we’d be fucking every day and night.”

Eric rolled his eyes. “Well fine, then.”

He rolled onto his side, facing away from Parnell.

After a long time – it felt like hours to Eric, though it was only minutes -- he heard the sound of Parnell moving, rolling over, and then he felt his husband’s arms wrap around him.

“Oh, fine,” said Parnell. “But I get to top tonight.”

Eric smiled. “Alright.”

A Look at a Day in the Life of Gay Eric and Parnell

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Can you spoiler that and come up with a short description? I'll dump it in the oneshot list.

I'll also read it, don't fret. And everyone, IC posts are coming soon-ish.

Yes, a very accurate timeline, that.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Astro, you should also make a Caspian oneshot. Caspian's an interesting character.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

This was hilarious.

[Agritum]

You were speaking about history textbooks?

My Medieval History one is....cool. It gives too much focus on the conflict between the HRE qnd the Papacy, other than the medieval history of Italy itself, but it's written well.

Aso, medieval Italy was motherfucking awesome. To explain, medieval Italy was all about big cities kicking their feudal lords away and creating democratic communes on their territory, which at one point grew so big that they also included the nearby farmlands. Everywhere and then, the Pope or the Emperor would try to conquer these city-states, only to get whacked by a massive coalition of multiple communes. Yep, even Emperor Frederick I "Redbeard" got beaten by Italians.

These city-states were also the bhirthplaces of the medieval corporations, beacons of culture in the Mediterranean, and places were political activity and intrigue was constant. Dante himself, other than a poet, was also a prominent politician in the commune of Florence.

Though this was in Northern Italy. Southern Italy instead was all about Normans fighting Muslims or Spaniards looking crass in their gold thrones in Naples.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

You were speaking about history textbooks?

My Medieval History one is....cool. It gives too much focus on the conflict between the HRE qnd the Papacy, other than the medieval history of Italy itself, but it's written well.

Aso, medieval Italy was motherfucking awesome. To explain, medieval Italy was all about big cities kicking their feudal lords away and creating democratic communes on their territory, which at one point grew so big that they also included the nearby farmlands. Everywhere and then, the Pope or the Emperor would try to conquer these city-states, only to get whacked by a massive coalition of multiple communes. Yep, even Emperor Frederick I "Redbeard" got beaten by Italians.

These city-states were also the bhirthplaces of the medieval corporations, beacons of culture in the Mediterranean, and places were political activity and intrigue was constant. Dante himself, other than a poet, was also a prominent politician in the commune of Florence.

Though this was in Northern Italy. Southern Italy instead was all about Normans fighting Muslims or Spaniards looking crass in their gold thrones in Naples.

Cool stuff.

[Agritum]

You were speaking about history textbooks?

My Medieval History one is....cool. It gives too much focus on the conflict between the HRE qnd the Papacy, other than the medieval history of Italy itself, but it's written well.

Aso, medieval Italy was motherfucking awesome. To explain, medieval Italy was all about big cities kicking their feudal lords away and creating democratic communes on their territory, which at one point grew so big that they also included the nearby farmlands. Everywhere and then, the Pope or the Emperor would try to conquer these city-states, only to get whacked by a massive coalition of multiple communes. Yep, even Emperor Frederick I "Redbeard" got beaten by Italians.

These city-states were also the bhirthplaces of the medieval corporations, beacons of culture in the Mediterranean, and places were political activity and intrigue was constant. Dante himself, other than a poet, was also a prominent politician in the commune of Florence.

Though this was in Northern Italy. Southern Italy instead was all about Normans fighting Muslims or Spaniards looking crass in their gold thrones in Naples.

Cool stuff.

Those city-states were so badass that the term used to refer to them in Italian, "Comuni", is still used up to this day to denote municipalities.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Ves, NEI, I sincerely apologise for not posting. I will try to do so very soon.

[Nationstatelandsville]

This was hilarious.

I am allowed to laugh at these people, because I am too much like myself for love.

[Constaniana]

How Dunefiend met his wife.

[Agritum]

This guy's books made me shit bricks. Back in the day.