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[Info] Book of the Multiverse²

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Kassaran
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Posts: 10095
Founded: Jun 16, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Kassaran » Sun Oct 06, 2013 2:23 pm

To Esternial the Alpaca,
From Jonah of Kassaran,

Do you roleplay ever? I don't remember ever seeing you around in any of the RPs I've been in. Also, why won't people join my RP, I have toldtons of people about it, I have even said to post on what could be done to improve the idea. I'm at a loss here. People kept whining about the lack of Sci-Fi RP's, I make one I hope to turn into a series, yet no one joins even after I advertise it in the same place everyone was whining ABOUT the lack of the Sci-Fi RP's! :blink:
Beware: Walls of Text Generally appear Above this Sig.
Zarkenis Ultima wrote:Tristan noticed footsteps behind him and looked there, only to see Eric approaching and then pointing his sword at the girl. He just blinked a few times at this before speaking.

"Put that down, Mr. Eric." He said. "She's obviously not a chicken."
The Knockout Gun Gals wrote:
The United Remnants of America wrote:You keep that cheap Chinese knock-off away from the real OG...

bloody hell, mate.
that's a real deal. We just don't buy the license rights.

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Esternial
P2TM RP Mentor
 
Posts: 51828
Founded: May 09, 2009
Democratic Socialists

Postby Esternial » Mon Oct 07, 2013 2:51 pm

Kassaran,

Indeed, I am sad to admit that my current involvement in P2TM is minimal at best, which I accredit to a general lack of inspiration and sheer excitement that I have felt about RPs in the past, caused partly by personal issues. Rest assured, I'm planning to get back in the game when I manage to get my thoughts in order. Right now even the OP(s) of the threads I am involved in need to notify me when a post is required, and the overall quality/quantity is below my personal standards, which is immensely frustration.

My first order of business is updating and revamping the Registry, which will still take some time before I'll actually get to it. At this point in time, I'm lacking the concentration to keep myself focused on it.

I'm personally a fan of sci-fi RPs, but in my experience I have had little success with hosting one. I may be planning a project to remedy our shared issues on this front, issues that some others can - no doubt - also relate to. There's a likelihood that I'll be able to set this up in the near future, as what I have in mind wouldn't require much work.

Apologies for any inconvenience,
Esternial

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Kassaran
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Posts: 10095
Founded: Jun 16, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Kassaran » Mon Oct 07, 2013 2:58 pm

Esternial wrote:Kassaran,

Indeed, I am sad to admit that my current involvement in P2TM is minimal at best, which I accredit to a general lack of inspiration and sheer excitement that I have felt about RPs in the past, caused partly by personal issues. Rest assured, I'm planning to get back in the game when I manage to get my thoughts in order. Right now even the OP(s) of the threads I am involved in need to notify me when a post is required, and the overall quality/quantity is below my personal standards, which is immensely frustration.

My first order of business is updating and revamping the Registry, which will still take some time before I'll actually get to it. At this point in time, I'm lacking the concentration to keep myself focused on it.

I'm personally a fan of sci-fi RPs, but in my experience I have had little success with hosting one. I may be planning a project to remedy our shared issues on this front, issues that some others can - no doubt - also relate to. There's a likelihood that I'll be able to set this up in the near future, as what I have in mind wouldn't require much work.

Apologies for any inconvenience,
Esternial


Have you seen mine though? It is called Fallen Colony: Daedalus ? Can you give me a quick critique maybe on how I can make the App process easier? Or perhaps enrich the story? I was planning on letting the details on the backstory and processes used by the "Destiny" in the Prologue/ waiting room IC.
Beware: Walls of Text Generally appear Above this Sig.
Zarkenis Ultima wrote:Tristan noticed footsteps behind him and looked there, only to see Eric approaching and then pointing his sword at the girl. He just blinked a few times at this before speaking.

"Put that down, Mr. Eric." He said. "She's obviously not a chicken."
The Knockout Gun Gals wrote:
The United Remnants of America wrote:You keep that cheap Chinese knock-off away from the real OG...

bloody hell, mate.
that's a real deal. We just don't buy the license rights.

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Esternial
P2TM RP Mentor
 
Posts: 51828
Founded: May 09, 2009
Democratic Socialists

Postby Esternial » Mon Oct 07, 2013 3:01 pm

Kassaran wrote:
Esternial wrote:Kassaran,

Indeed, I am sad to admit that my current involvement in P2TM is minimal at best, which I accredit to a general lack of inspiration and sheer excitement that I have felt about RPs in the past, caused partly by personal issues. Rest assured, I'm planning to get back in the game when I manage to get my thoughts in order. Right now even the OP(s) of the threads I am involved in need to notify me when a post is required, and the overall quality/quantity is below my personal standards, which is immensely frustration.

My first order of business is updating and revamping the Registry, which will still take some time before I'll actually get to it. At this point in time, I'm lacking the concentration to keep myself focused on it.

I'm personally a fan of sci-fi RPs, but in my experience I have had little success with hosting one. I may be planning a project to remedy our shared issues on this front, issues that some others can - no doubt - also relate to. There's a likelihood that I'll be able to set this up in the near future, as what I have in mind wouldn't require much work.

Apologies for any inconvenience,
Esternial


Have you seen mine though? It is called Fallen Colony: Daedalus ? Can you give me a quick critique maybe on how I can make the App process easier? Or perhaps enrich the story? I was planning on letting the details on the backstory and processes used by the "Destiny" in the Prologue/ waiting room IC.

It would be best to do this in the Traveller's Café, which is intended for these kind of "evaluations".

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Kassaran
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Posts: 10095
Founded: Jun 16, 2013
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Kassaran » Mon Oct 07, 2013 3:03 pm

That is if anyone cared about the actual RP's there. lol Might as well be a loosely themed TET thread for all the ACTUAL RP talk they do nowadays.
Beware: Walls of Text Generally appear Above this Sig.
Zarkenis Ultima wrote:Tristan noticed footsteps behind him and looked there, only to see Eric approaching and then pointing his sword at the girl. He just blinked a few times at this before speaking.

"Put that down, Mr. Eric." He said. "She's obviously not a chicken."
The Knockout Gun Gals wrote:
The United Remnants of America wrote:You keep that cheap Chinese knock-off away from the real OG...

bloody hell, mate.
that's a real deal. We just don't buy the license rights.

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Esternial
P2TM RP Mentor
 
Posts: 51828
Founded: May 09, 2009
Democratic Socialists

Postby Esternial » Mon Oct 07, 2013 3:25 pm

Kassaran wrote:That is if anyone cared about the actual RP's there. lol Might as well be a loosely themed TET thread for all the ACTUAL RP talk they do nowadays.

There's plenty of discussion going on there. There may be some unrelated banter, but overall completely different from TET. Overall, the posts there are related to actual RPs, ideas, gauging interest or other RP-related concepts.

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Esternial
P2TM RP Mentor
 
Posts: 51828
Founded: May 09, 2009
Democratic Socialists

Postby Esternial » Fri Mar 21, 2014 5:38 pm

This thread has passed its one year anniversary, and P2TM too has grown since its early days. I don't think the term F7+ still applies anymore, and maybe it's time I scrapped that part from the title. P2TM has long been more than just a splinter group from F7, but an independent forum with its own dynamic community.

Consider this a symbolic act. This place has show remarkable growth and amazing dedication from its community. I could give a long-winded speech about how it turned out how I envisioned it back in its early days, but I think you get the picture.

Kudos to all, it couldn't have happened without the community effort.

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Nightkill the Emperor
Post Kaiser
 
Posts: 88776
Founded: Dec 28, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Nightkill the Emperor » Fri Mar 21, 2014 8:51 pm

Esternial wrote:This thread has passed its one year anniversary, and P2TM too has grown since its early days. I don't think the term F7+ still applies anymore, and maybe it's time I scrapped that part from the title. P2TM has long been more than just a splinter group from F7, but an independent forum with its own dynamic community.

Consider this a symbolic act. This place has show remarkable growth and amazing dedication from its community. I could give a long-winded speech about how it turned out how I envisioned it back in its early days, but I think you get the picture.

Kudos to all, it couldn't have happened without the community effort.

*cheers*
Hi! I'm Khan, your local misanthropic Indian.
I wear teal, blue & pink for Swith.
P2TM RP Discussion Thread
If you want a good rp, read this shit.
Tiami is cool.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".

Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.

Monfrox wrote:
The balkens wrote:
# went there....

It's Nightkill. He's been there so long he rents out rooms to other people at a flat rate, but demands cash up front.

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Alleniana
Post Czar
 
Posts: 42815
Founded: Dec 23, 2012
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Alleniana » Fri Mar 21, 2014 9:28 pm

Nightkill the Emperor wrote:
Esternial wrote:This thread has passed its one year anniversary, and P2TM too has grown since its early days. I don't think the term F7+ still applies anymore, and maybe it's time I scrapped that part from the title. P2TM has long been more than just a splinter group from F7, but an independent forum with its own dynamic community.

Consider this a symbolic act. This place has show remarkable growth and amazing dedication from its community. I could give a long-winded speech about how it turned out how I envisioned it back in its early days, but I think you get the picture.

Kudos to all, it couldn't have happened without the community effort.

*cheers*


I haven't been around for very long compared to most, but P2TM has enthralled me in every way for the better part of a year and a half. It's a wonderful community, and I couldn't agree more with Esty. Cheers to everyone, too.

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Cerillium
Senior P2TM RP Mentor
 
Posts: 12456
Founded: Oct 27, 2012
New York Times Democracy

Postby Cerillium » Sat Mar 22, 2014 6:21 am

Esternial wrote:This thread has passed its one year anniversary, and P2TM too has grown since its early days. I don't think the term F7+ still applies anymore, and maybe it's time I scrapped that part from the title. P2TM has long been more than just a splinter group from F7, but an independent forum with its own dynamic community.

Consider this a symbolic act. This place has show remarkable growth and amazing dedication from its community. I could give a long-winded speech about how it turned out how I envisioned it back in its early days, but I think you get the picture.

Kudos to all, it couldn't have happened without the community effort.

I agree. It's good to see you, too.
I wear teal, blue & pink for Swith
There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears, and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination.

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Constaniana
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Posts: 25111
Founded: Mar 10, 2012
Democratic Socialists

Postby Constaniana » Tue Mar 25, 2014 8:11 pm

Esternial wrote:This thread has passed its one year anniversary, and P2TM too has grown since its early days. I don't think the term F7+ still applies anymore, and maybe it's time I scrapped that part from the title. P2TM has long been more than just a splinter group from F7, but an independent forum with its own dynamic community.

Consider this a symbolic act. This place has show remarkable growth and amazing dedication from its community. I could give a long-winded speech about how it turned out how I envisioned it back in its early days, but I think you get the picture.

Kudos to all, it couldn't have happened without the community effort.

Hussah.
Joe Biden 2020; make aviators great again.
Elementals 3 has arrived!
Agritum wrote:I want to marry you now, my British damsel.
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:You know, I didn't expect you to be the most psychopathic person here.

I have the oddest of feelings this is my fault somehow.
Nightkill the Emperor wrote:I just realised how bizarre Const's existence is.
Cerillium wrote:Const is right.
Zarkenis Ultima wrote:You just cornered a scary indian man with a sword-of-brick-shattering.

Have a cookie.
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Fdfddf
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Posts: 8
Founded: Apr 04, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Fdfddf » Sat Apr 26, 2014 9:15 pm

I have a question. I'm new to the Nation States forums, not sure where/if there's a new person thread area, but I'm wondering where/if forum RPGs are on this site? Not the roleplays, not the forum games, but the role playing games? With stats and such?

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Nightkill the Emperor
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Posts: 88776
Founded: Dec 28, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Nightkill the Emperor » Sat Apr 26, 2014 9:16 pm

Fdfddf wrote:I have a question. I'm new to the Nation States forums, not sure where/if there's a new person thread area, but I'm wondering where/if forum RPGs are on this site? Not the roleplays, not the forum games, but the role playing games? With stats and such?

There aren't any.
Hi! I'm Khan, your local misanthropic Indian.
I wear teal, blue & pink for Swith.
P2TM RP Discussion Thread
If you want a good rp, read this shit.
Tiami is cool.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".

Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.

Monfrox wrote:
The balkens wrote:
# went there....

It's Nightkill. He's been there so long he rents out rooms to other people at a flat rate, but demands cash up front.

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Alleniana
Post Czar
 
Posts: 42815
Founded: Dec 23, 2012
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Alleniana » Sun Apr 27, 2014 5:01 am

Nightkill the Emperor wrote:
Fdfddf wrote:I have a question. I'm new to the Nation States forums, not sure where/if there's a new person thread area, but I'm wondering where/if forum RPGs are on this site? Not the roleplays, not the forum games, but the role playing games? With stats and such?

There aren't any.

You might say that the kind of stuff G-Tech runs is, but if by stats you mean ones that are anything calculated by the site, and not by people, then no.

this is as close as you get

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Nightkill the Emperor
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Posts: 88776
Founded: Dec 28, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Nightkill the Emperor » Sun Feb 08, 2015 2:09 pm

Cerillium wrote:MENTOR COMMENTARY SANS VIDEO:

A note on character creation and portrayal:
We hear two different approaches in the videos. The first was to distance yourself from your character; the second was to pour a bit of yourself in.

Agy made a strong point: players that fashion characters similar to themselves often run afoul in emotional matters. The player can become offended if that character is despised or hated.

Swith's approach is "Play what you know".

There are some actors that still use classical training in theatre. They engage in something called "character analysis" which then transfers to how they portray the character in each scene. They research things their character knows or has experience in. Regardless, their character will always have a spark of themselves in it.

I don't recommend the Swith Approach to RP beginners or intermediates. Swith's Neste is an embodiment of Swith's own experiences but she draws upon those negative experiences to flesh out the character rather than as a means to portray herself through Neste. Distance exists between her emotions/personality and the character's. Swith's RPed a long time and, as a veteran, she's detached from Neste. Neste could fall in love with Amara because Neste loves FUBAR but it's crafting a story rather than the player using the opportunity to boost her ego.

Giovenith shares many qualities with Gio, especially a love for art. Giovenith has recently become wise rather than floating around in a daze. Gio pours her own wisdom into Giovenith, telling characters how things are while pointing out how things can change. Gio and Giovenith are not the same person nor is Giovenith a shell for Gio to act out her fantasies.

Marcus shares traits with me. His awkwardness is a reflection of my own when I was his age. I draw upon past experiences when I have him interact with Giovenith. His puppy love is typical of the sort guys experience when we're still young, innocent, and stupid. His father is never there for him; my father was absent in my life. I use my memory to breathe life into Marcus' conflicts.

Ceril is a bastard. We share many traits. I'd rather focus on work. I'm addicted to it. Ceril reflects that. Ceril has a temper. I have a temper. Ceril has little patience for stupid people. Ditto. That's where the similarities end. Ceril hardly laughs, and never laughs at Naomi's nonsense. I laugh my ass off when Swith does silly things IRL. I'm toying with calling him by given name rather than "Ceril" to further distinguish between player and character. We aren't in PL Classic anymore.



Character Shipping:
Too often, we have PL characters shipping. All effort is put into it. Players live vicariously through their characters. Some even resort to cybering out what occurs during a fade to black. This isn't distancing yourself from a character. It's abusing the character to satisfy personal wants. It's fleeting and that fact is obvious as characters achieve their goal and then grow apart. We never see much development beyond that.

Relationships are complex. They should tell a story that's engaging and promotes character development.

Case in point: Hans and Chrys. He accomplished his goal and bedded her. She didn't move in instantly nor do they spend all their time cuddling. They have lives apart from each other. His move to ask her to dwell with him is a typical step in the relationship process. Tilt and Swith's character romance story is active. It affects their character's actions. Chrys' request to have a private chat is based on a woman's intuition. Something is wrong and she realizes it. Hans has previously alluded to brewing trouble.

Swith posted a scene from an old RP (it's a few pages back now). Ocho and Nila. Gruff, obese Ocho was in love with chirpy Nila. The lizard was in love with whatever food he had in his hands. Running gag. She slept in a basket at the foot of his bed most of the time. The unrequited love and absolute longing shaped his personality and affected his actions. Nila, oblivious to his emotional state, did her typical Nila thang. Constructs enjoy expressing affection much like a cat rubbing ankles. It was a torment to him. Every chirp and head tilt was a zing that boosted his heart. We ran them almost a year and the closest he got to sleeping with her was her preference to curl up and sleep on his ample stomach because it was warm. It's an example of ways two characters can be close without the need for intercourse.

OP note on sloppy/shallow ships
There is such a thing as permadead in PL. I was very serious last year when I said I'd find reasons to kill off shallow ships that hinder growth and make our eyes bleed. The rest of us hate reading pointless cuddles and coos. I have no tolerance for F7 antics. Killing one partner spares our eyes but also gives the other partner a reason to grow. Look at what Torsi did with Torii once Yoshi was gone. Torsi's character exploded into a 3D person.
Hi! I'm Khan, your local misanthropic Indian.
I wear teal, blue & pink for Swith.
P2TM RP Discussion Thread
If you want a good rp, read this shit.
Tiami is cool.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".

Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.

Monfrox wrote:
The balkens wrote:
# went there....

It's Nightkill. He's been there so long he rents out rooms to other people at a flat rate, but demands cash up front.

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Nightkill the Emperor
Post Kaiser
 
Posts: 88776
Founded: Dec 28, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Nightkill the Emperor » Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:47 pm

Swith Witherward wrote:
MENTOR NOTE ON DIALOG


I came across some old notes this morning and thought I'd share them here. It's from a workshop by Holly Lisle. I found a copy of it, and I present it here (with some tweaks for RP purposes). Credit goes to her.

The purpose of this is to help people write better when two of their own characters are speaking in the same post, but it works just as well as a reference source when two players are working on a collaborated post.


CONFLICT
Dialogue is about demonstrating character through conflict, either internal or external. Remember that, and your job becomes easier. Conflict isn’t always something bad that’s happening. It can be something as terrific as winning a million bucks in a lottery or falling in love or discovering your character is going to have a baby. However, conflict always portends change. And dialogue always gives you a window to see into the way that characters feel about that change, or at least the way they want each other to think they feel, which may not be the same thing.


WRITING DIALOG
Here are a few recommendations about writing convincing dialogue. None of them are cast in stone, but until you’re comfortable enough with the rules to know how to break them, you’ll work better if you keep them in mind.

  • Avoid phonetic spelling. Dialogue of the following sort—“Ah reckon ah don’ haff ta go dowan tuh th’ rivuh tuhday, ‘cawse we gots awl th’ feeush we gwine need”—gives the reader a headache and makes you look like a moron. With dialect, less is definitely more. “I reckon I don’t have t’ go down t’ the river today, ’cause we got all the fish we gonna need,” is much more readable and still suggests a particular character.

  • Keep to the conflict. If there is no conflict for the two characters in a piece of dialogue, then the dialogue has no place in your story. The conflict can be internal (he’s lying to her; she doesn’t like him; she's embarrassed by her friend's behavior, etc) or external (raptors are trying to eat them; an object has triggered a problem they need to solve). But it has to be there. Dialogue illuminates character faster than any amount of exposition, but only if you give your characters something interesting to talk about, and something that moves your story forward. And that means conflict.

  • Don’t let characters “speechify.” What worked in a Shakespeare monologue does not work in a dialogue between two people. Fictional dialogue is about give and take, meant to sound realistic but sharpened by the fact that each character needs something, and by the fact that their needs do not mesh. You won’t get two-page speeches if you remember this.

    A note on that: I fall into this trap, usually when responding to a long post.

  • Remember that people breathe while speaking. Read your dialogue out loud, in your normal, conversational tone of voice. If you run out of air part of the way through a sentence, rework it. Add punctuation, break it up, rip out the flowery stuff.

  • Avoid “talking heads.” Have characters do something while they speak.


THREE KINDS OF DIALOG
Swith's rule on orphaned dialog is simple: I don't read the post. Your dialog is bad and you should feel bad. *winks* It's monotonous to read something where we have to keep track of who spoke first. The writer has an idea of emotional response, but they don't weave it in. RP is not script-writing, either.


SCRIPT WRITING

    LISA: [enters from stage right] Jesus, you startled me. I wasn’t expecting you here.

    JOHN: It’s been a real day for expectations. Where were you? I’ve been waiting here for an hour. You didn’t leave a note or—

    LISA: [cross to stage left] I wasn’t planning on going anywhere—

    JOHN: I can see that. Where’s your coat?


ORPHANED DIALOG
This is the schmutz that kills posts and paints the writer as unimaginative. If someone were to ask me to judge a post on quality for a contest, orphan dialog would have the post disqualified as the puerile garbage that it is.

    "Jesus, you startled me. I wasn’t expecting you here," Lisa said.

    "It’s been a real day for expectations. Where were you? I’ve been waiting here for an hour. You didn’t leave a note or—," John said.

    "I wasn’t planning on going anywhere—"

    "I can see that. Where’s your coat?"

    "I left the house in a hurry. I… um… my mother…"

    "The hospital reached you? God, I’m sorry. That’s why—"

    "The hospital?"

    "They called me when they couldn’t get you."

    "I don’t understand."

    "Your mother. You said —"

    "I ran out to buy some flowers for her. She’s been so down."

    "For three hours you’ve been buying flowers?"

    "And then I drove around. I’ve had… a lot on my mind. But I’m fine now. Fine."

    "You didn’t go by the hospital?"

    "No. Look, I’m freezing. Let’s go inside. Why did the hospital call? Does the doctor need my signature for more tests?"

    "We have to go to the hospital."

    "I’ve had a terrible—"

    "We have to go to the hospital. Now. The rest of your family is already there."

    "Oh. Oh, God. Mom’s all right, isn’t she? Oh, Christ, she isn’t. I’m being punished… she’s dead."

Did you read all of that? I'd wager the answer is "no".


EMBODIED DIALOG
This is what fleshes out the scene. It allows you to create conflicts which the characters then play off of as the conversation progresses. (When crafting posts

    Lisa had just gotten out of the car and was heading around the corner of the garage when she ran into Brian. “Jesus, you startled me. I wasn’t expecting you here.” His face looked sort of pale and pinched. He’s found out, she thought. I finally broke it off, but I was too late.

    He said, “It’s been a real day for expectations. Where were you? I’ve been waiting here for an hour. You didn’t leave a note or—“

    “I wasn’t planning on going anywhere—” Which sounded like bullshit when she said it, and she knew it. She was wearing a navy dress with a fitted waist and a low neckline, which had been a gift from Kevin. Heels. Hose. Make-up. The last time Brian had seen her in make-up when they weren’t on their way to church or a restaurant had been right after the second baby was born. Eight years ago? Yeah. About that.

    He raised an eyebrow. “I can see that.” Pure sarcasm. For a moment his face lost the pinched look, and she saw suspicion in his eyes. “Where’s your coat?”

    “I left the house in a hurry. I… um… my mother …”

    The pinched look was back around his eyes, and she stopped, suddenly frightened. He knew she hadn’t been visiting her mother in the hospital. Maybe he’d hired a detective to follow her. The sound of her heart pounding roared in her ears. If he really knew, she would lose everything. The boys. Brian. Her home. Her friends.

    But he was saying, “The hospital reached you? God, I’m sorry. That’s why—“

    Now the scared feeling was worse. Different. But worse. “The hospital?”

    “They called me when they couldn’t get you.”

    “I don’t understand.”

    “Your mother. You said —“

    The lie came easily, easier than the lies that had preceded it over the last three months, pouring out of her mouth without any effort on her part. She shivered and rubbed her arms and said, “I ran out to buy some flowers for her. She’s been so down.” Breast cancer and a modified mastectomy at fifty-eight. Mom was in the hospital doing chemo, and she was coming through it like a trooper, but she really had been down. Not that Lisa had done much to cheer her up. She’d had her mind on… other things. No more of that, though.

    The suspicion was back in his eyes. “For three hours you’ve been buying flowers?”

    “And then I drove around. I’ve had… a lot on my mind. But I’m fine now. Fine.”

    He looked a little sick. “You didn’t go by the hospital?”

    “No.” She’d been saving that for when she could look her mother in the eye again. No, mom, I’m not cheating on my husband. I’m not cheating on my family. I’m a good wife. A good mother. Now she could do that. “Look, I’m freezing. Let’s go inside. Why did the hospital call? Does the doctor need to talk to me about more tests?”

    He was shaking his head—no, no, no—and his eyes were as bleak as the day. “We have to go to the hospital.”

    Her mother was being demanding again. She couldn’t face that right now. Not after the scene with Kevin. That had been ugly. Ugly. Never again, she promised herself. “I’ve had a terrible—“

    He cut her off. “We have to go to the hospital. Now. The rest of your family is already there.”

    Everything shifted. He hadn’t come home because he knew about the affair. He hadn’t come home because the hospital had been trying to reach her about another of her mother’s demanding snits. Everything she did to make things right, she had done too late. “Oh. Oh, God. Mom’s all right, isn’t she?” But the look on his face told her what she already knew. “Oh, Christ, she isn’t. I’m being punished… she’s dead.”



BONUS MENTOR NOTE IS BONUS

REPEATED WORDS ARE REPEATED
Proof a post before submitting it. How many times do you use the same word to describe the same action? Try to not use the same verb twice in the same short post. The shorter the post, the more the repeated words stick out. They become fodder for the "drinking game".

BAD
    Max ran to the store. He bought a power cable. Then he ran back home and ran up the stairs. He ran to his laptop to see if it was running.

GOOD
    Max hurried to the store and purchased a new power cable for his laptop. Once home, he took the stairs two at a time, hoping the battery hadn't died on his laptop while he was gone.

:lol:
Hi! I'm Khan, your local misanthropic Indian.
I wear teal, blue & pink for Swith.
P2TM RP Discussion Thread
If you want a good rp, read this shit.
Tiami is cool.
Nat: Night's always in some bizarre state somewhere between "intoxicated enough to kill a hair metal lead singer" and "annoying Mormon missionary sober".

Swith: It's because you're so awesome. God himself refreshes the screen before he types just to see if Nightkill has written anything while he was off somewhere else.

Monfrox wrote:
The balkens wrote:
# went there....

It's Nightkill. He's been there so long he rents out rooms to other people at a flat rate, but demands cash up front.

User avatar
Holy Tedalonia
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10679
Founded: Nov 14, 2016
Moralistic Democracy

Postby Holy Tedalonia » Mon May 01, 2017 9:10 am

Tag
Name: Ted
Ideology: Capitalism
Political Compass: Social Libertarian for some reason
Race: Vampire
Political Side: Right
Favorite Senator: Ted Cruz (Ted's have to help out Ted's)
Status: Healthy and as strong as a starved ox
I M P E R I A LR E P U B L I C

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