Baptism of Fire 53 - Everything Thread

[San Jose Guayabal]

SJG Gentleman, Start your Engines!

The D day is coming, and players from SJG, resources and spare no effort to catch up to our first match vs Tatras, and the tactical and psychological is about, to the extent that already have a holder for the party.

GK: Henry Hernandez
DF: Facundo Simioli
DF: Matias Passarelli
DF: Augustine Jibrin
MF: Juan Lazo
MF: William Maldonado
MF: Allan Fernandez
MF: Rudy Valencia
FW: Gonzalo Mazzia
FW: Jonathan Faña
FW: Sean Fraser

According to Milos Miljanic (SJG's Coach) is standing tactician will be useful (3-4-3, with style modifier of +1)

-Miljanic: We are in tune, this band is going to sound harsh, because we will give a recital good football, try to use the Total Football (Like Clockwork Orange Netherlands in 1974), will be lethal and also a good latch defense when necessary.

With this, SJG is fully-prepared to play on equal terms against any team, and to be the protagonist of the BoF 53, and the 16'000 fans of SJG, will be present to support our Glorius Team to the road of Victory, Let's Go SJG

From Astograth, I'm Juan Faña.

[Vaugania]

From Aktualyze Creative Solutions
Vaugania Golden Eagles

Starting XI

19 LS Joshua Farnerud (Blizzards FC)
27 RS Lars Baltzersen (Camp Kysten Athletic)
11 CAM Throsten Althusser (Lindsborough United)
37 LCM Miloslav Vorotaev (Datsya AC)
40 RCM Morten Karlan (Prairie Knights)
12 CDM Dennis Schmidt (SC Yzerberg)
30 LB Peder Helland (Blizzards FC)
24 LCB Frankie Malloy (Howeburton Crowns FC)
10 RCB Jeremy O’Mara (St. John’s FC) (C)
17 RB Patrick Kerr (Abel FC)
1 GK Stefan Blanc (Sporting Stromhurst)

Substitutes

2 GK Lorne Gardiner (Mt. Dostoyevsky Eminence)
14 CB Henrik Ovesen (Sporting Stromhurst)
23 LB Stephen Erstweiler (Datsya AC)
55 CDM Dmitri Blotski (Datsya AC)
99 CM Viggo Lunde (Prairie Knights)
13 CAM Cameron Battle (FC Buesk)
16 ST Christoph Sykora (FC Buesk)

Reserves

3 GK Aleksander Svenoy (SC Yzerberg)
88 CB Gregor Blake (Lindsborough United)
46 RM Sander Kraft (Abel FC)
90 CM Petr Kovalchuk (Camp Kysten Athletic)
29 ST PK Castel (St. John’s FC)

Management
Manager Kurt Hlasek
Asst Liam Henderson
Asst Vaclav Semin

Home:


Away:


Goalkeeper:

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:

RP injuries to my players: Yes, but they can't be out for more than the remainder of the game.
Do anything else: Yepperdoodle. Have fun!

[Tarrigan]

LEAD PASS: A Tarrigi Premiership footballing blog
National Team released for BoF53
Written by: ProjectCrossfire

Colors: Red and Black
Trigram: TAR
Motto: “Eleven men indivisible are eleven men invincible”
Formation and Style: 5-4-1, -5.0


Well, here we are finally. Debuting in the Baptism of Fire 53 in Group H, with nothing short of silverware on my mind.

Too prideful for a first sentence? Maybe... Either way, I'm ready for this team, and I hope you are too. If you aren't check back tomorrow, I should have some pictures up of us on the plane, in the hotel, on the pitch, and whatever else I feel like taking pictures of. We're in the Reichsburg-Holiday area, and let me just say, it's huuuuuuuuuuuge. There's more people in Holiday than there are in all of Tarrigan.

Anyways, you're not here to read me brag about my best vacation ever, so I'll get into the nitty-gritty of the team details.

Team Management
Manager: Mitch Connolly, age 22.
Assistant Manager: George Aulin, age 61.
Assistant Manager: Adam Sorce, age 42.
Head Physio: Nikola Béringer, age 39.

Seeing Mitch Connolly listed as the head manager kind of threw me off. I mean, yeah, the guy's practically a footballing genius, but, he's only 22. Yes, he took control of a mid-tier team from Seris B halfway through the season at age 20, got promoted, won Seris A next year, barely qualified for the Premiership with the same Seris B talents, and then jumped ship to West Union, but does that mean he's ready for national team duties? Apparently so, because he beat out George Aulin, who's won 27 trophies (16 Premiership Cups, 11 Association Plates) in the Premiership AND Adam Sorce, who's won Manager of the Year the past five seasons. Either way, this brain trust should fight for a top place.

Starting XI

POS	Name	Age
GK	Daren Silverburg	27
LB	Brian St. Claire	37
LCB	Alex Ivers	23
SW	Jarrett Ivers	17
RCB	Calvin Ivers	23
RB	Jenna Womacks	26
LW	Jason Waters	31
LCM	Issy Bouchard	21
RCM	Yan Richardson	29
RW	Blake Wood	19
ST	Corrinne Roguefort	16
Bold- Captain
Italic – 2nd Captain

I can’t really say that there are any surprises here. Mitch Connolly may be very young for a coach, but even with no playing experience, he really has constructed a wonderful squad here. Grizzled veteran Brian St. Claire slots in as the captain, and his eighteen years in the Tarrigi Premiership will be invaluable experience on the back line and in the locker room. Speaking of the back line, Mitch has decided to play the 5-4-1 formation, although with this roster, that could easily transform to a 3-4-3 in the attacking half.

The main feature of this lineup is not the young striker up front, but rather the core of the defense. While pressure will certainly be on Corrine Roguefort to put home the goals, even more pressure will be on the Ivers trio to hold strong in defense. The almost-psychic powers of the twins, Alex and Calvin, will certainly help in central defense. Add in young Jarrett as a sweeper, and you get what should be a bastion in the box.

Jason Waters and Blake Wood should slide forward into the attack to support Roguefort, and St. Claire and Womacks will slide up to the mid-field for back pass and crossing opportunities.

Reserves

GK	Sisu Desrosiers	35
DEF	Soraya Castroneves	26
DEF	Ciro Alves	27
DEF	Dave Laviolette	21
MID	Jamie Lee Rome	19
MID	Ashlyn Ackerman	24
MID	Nic Radcliffe	28
ST	Nico Pablo Ibarran	25

I'm actually a little disappointed to see Nic Radcliffe on this list. Nothing against Nic, I just feel that Chase May-Connors would have been invaluable in the midfield as a starter OR a reserve. Either way, not much to disagree with here.

Check back tomorrow to see the first post in our "One For the Future" series!

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goal scorers: Yes
Godmod scoring events: Yes
RP injuries to my players: TG first
Godmod injuries to my players: No
Yellow Card my players: Yes, no more than three
Red Card my players: TG first
Godmod other events: Yes

[Felinetopia]

Felinetopia Pawball(Association Football) National Team Roster for Baptism of Fire 53

Home:
Away:
Goalkeeper:

Age shown is the equivalent human age of the Feline (except for Nate Villo who is human)

Manager
Nate Villo                (Eviliton EFC, Beaverriver, 54)
Starting 11
GK Shoonky Kitten #58    (Shnooky Kittens PC, 20)
LB Deadlive              (Gatotopia City, 25)
CB Grumpy Cat            (Iceicle City, 24)
CB Grass Star            (Infinyarn City, 22)
RB KitKat                (Kitten City Outsiders, 27)
LDM PepperJack           (Bengals United, 26)
RDM Shnooky Kitten #823  (Shnooky Kitten PC, 25)
LAM Simba                (Lions PC)
CM Puss in Boots         (Felis Domesticus, 21)
RAM Sirus White          (Crookshank United, 26)
ST Meowsi                (Kitten City Outsiders, 20)
Subsititutes
GK Clawsy                (Lions PC, 22)
LB Louie                 (Chat Chaten PC, 24)
CB Frosty                (Icicle City, 27)
DM Schrodinger           (Infinyarn City, 31)
LAM Bill Kitten          (Shnooky Kitten PC, 19)
CM Riley                 (Amiceon Forest PC, 29)
ST Ibramane              (Lion PC, 21)
Reserves
GK Spoty                 (Cheetahs United, 25)
CB Delta                 (Felis Domesticus, 27)
DM Patter                (Felines United, 19)
LM Captain Blackcat      (Zebras Eaten PC, 23)
RM Stripey               (Gatotopia City, 22)
ST Omega                 (Felis Domesticus, 28)

Formation: 4-2-3-1
Style: -1

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose My Goalscorers: Yes
Godmod Scoring Events: Yes
RP Injuries to My Players: Yes (No longer then out of the remainder of the cup)
Godmod Injuries to My Players: Yes (Same as above)
Hand Out Yellow Cards to My Players: Yes
Hand Out Red Cards to My Players: Yes (Limit 1)
Godmod Other Events: Yes, Go wild with it, we're a nation full of felines

(OOC: I'm a little busy and I won't be able to RP on Saturday.)

[Furellum]

The rain beat down on Other Altsby, hammering off the roofs, rattling the window panes and flooding the dark streets. The pale light from the magic lamps was drowned out by the sheets of rain, and the lonely figure on the street was struggling to see as he battled his way against the storm. He stopped for a moment, stepping into a nearby doorway as he sought some protection from the forceful weather.

The equine brushed water out of eyes with his hoof. The weather was atrocious, but he had no choice but to be out in it. "Ah, the joys of being a beat copper." He thought to himself. Still, he was nearly done with his rounds, and then he could get beside the fire in the watch house. It was with renewed vigour then, that Constable Iosef of the Other Altsby City Watch stepped out into the poring rain and recommenced his marching.

One hoof after the other. The trick was not to focus on the walking, but the destination, and let his feet carry him there. Still, it was difficult to do that when your ankle joint was playing up in the cold weather, and your armour felt like it weighed a ton. For some reason, Iosef thought, the copper breastplate and helmet seemed to weigh more in the rain. Why couldn't they wear chainmail like the guard in Altsby? Or even fabric, like the watchmen he'd heard about in other realities. Although how that was supposed to protect you from an armed thug with an axe, Iosef had no idea. The armour was at least solid, although Iosef's suit had been reused and re-patched so many times it was a wonder it didn't fall to pieces. The Duke didn't seem to be too keen on spending Crowns on the watch, despite the rising crime problem in Furellum.

Iosef was brought out of his musings by a sound. It was a soft sound, almost indistinguishable from the sound of the rain hitting the roofs above his head. But his keen ears, so tuned to the sounds of the street, picked it out like a dissonant chord in a symphony, and his policeman's brain told him that something was not right.
Moving quietly into the shadows, he listened for the noise again. There it was, the sound of a heavy footfall on tile. It was coming from the roof above his head. Experience told him that the only reason any one would walk along a rooftop at night during a storm was if they were up to no good. Clearly it was his duty to investigate further.

Iosef spotted a likely path up the rooftops. A clamber on to a garden wall, then up a drainpipe. The wet pipe proved difficult to climb, and he almost fell several times before he made it to the top. Gripping on to the edge of the gutter, he pulled his head over the parapet. Ahead of him he could just make out a figure, clothed in black, moving among the chimney stacks. As Iosef pulled himslef up, his breastplate clanged against the metal drainpipe. The figure stopped and spun around, looking straight at him. "Stop, city watch!" shouted Iosef, as the figure raised his hands. the watchmen leapt to his feet, ready to give chase. Too late he realised that the dark figure had raised a crossbow, and already loosed a bolt at him. It struck Iosef before he move, and he staggered backwards and toppled off the roof, plummeting to the ground below....


Fyodor Iosef sat bolt upright in bed. It had just been a dream. But no, something wasn't quite right. It didn't feel like a dream. More like.....a memory. Getting out of bed, he padded over to his suitcase on the floor. Rummaging through his clothes, his hoof settled on a small box. Pulling it out, he set it on the foot of the bed an opened it. Sorting through the items inside, he finally found hat he was looking for. Lifting it out, he examined it closely. The item as a small arrowhead, the type used on crossbow bolts. The head had been flattened, as if it had been fired into something hard. "Yes." he muttered to himself. "That was how it happened. That was how it began."

[Kitsuneshima]

Previous Acts - Toyota Kaori Arc

---

*None*

Act One - Jetting Off to United Gordonopia!

---

You know what? I've just realised that I absolutely detest alarm clocks.

Especially not after I'd stayed up the whole night trying to concoct a delicious, scrumpdiddlyumptious fruit parfait for the family breakfast today.

"Damn, my hand's not long enough ... " I groan as I wave my hand wildly about beyond my comfy bed, trying to hit the infernal thing and shut it up.

"Oy, will you get a move on already? We're going to leave for United Gordonopia later in the afternoon after training, and dear Coach has just threatened to exclude anyone who doesn't show up to training from the final squad!"

I toss about in my bed, trying to shut out the sound that's coming from outside my door and the tiresome screech of the alarm clock. Peeking from beneath my covers, I can just about see my name, splashed across the wooden door with dashes of glitter glue.

On my mantelpiece is the most annoying invention of all time ... and beyond that door is an imbecile.

Did I mention I like glitter glue? They're just like stars shining in the night sky! I've had some great fun with glitter glue in the past ... I should really tell you about the time I stole a pinch of it and ... pranked someone. Here goes -

"Toyota ... if you don't get up this instant, I swear I'm gonna stick a few forks into you the next time I even get a peek at you outside your room."

I grin mischievously, even though I know that nobody can see my beautiful smile and my arctic white teeth while I'm still cooped up in bed.

"Oya? Even if it means springing me in the shower? While I'm trying to take a bath? While I'm naked? You'd better not, Higashikuni-sempai, or you just might find yourself needing several prosthetic limbs after I finish up with you~"

"Somehow that doesn't scare me at all, Toyota. Maybe because you've threatened me with the same words like what, ten times every single day? And I'm not that sort of pervert!"

---

"Hmm~ Now that was a perfect breakfast~ I feel so satisfied right now~"

Humming to myself happily after wolfing down a plate or two of angel hair spaghetti, I sling my backpack over my shoulders and head out of the FA's dining hall. Not that flashy dining hall at HQ, this is more like a mess hall of sorts. You line up at one end, make your pick of the three foods that they usually serve, and then scramble for a seat pronto. Otherwise you're gonna end up standing in a corner while trying to eat, all while simultaneously balancing your drink and your plate on one hand.

Trust me, I've tried that before. Let's just say ... it wasn't the most rewarding experience I've ever had. My hands still smell of the industrial strength disinfectant that Coach forced me to swill the floor with. I also had to bath our mascot cat!

"Hey, Higashikuni-sempai, tell Coach that I'll be late for the training, I have to go visit my family~"

"OY TOYOTA! WE'RE GONNA LEAVE FOR UNITED GORDONOPIA TODAY, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING!?"

I smile at the boy's sudden outburst. Even though he's a couple of years my senior, I pegged him down as a boy after seeing his regular tantrums. He'd be a perfect playmate for my five-year-old brother.

"Hai, hai, wakatta wa yo ...I got that the first time. Don't worry, just pass the message on, I'll be the one making the excuses. Okay?"

I turn my soulful puppy eyes on him, giving him the full blast. Higashikuni furrows his brow in contemplation, while I hop around waiting for his answer.

"Hmm ..."

This is bad, he's not relenting! Usually when I turn my puppy eyes on him he melts like a snowball in hell! I've gotta persuade him somehow ... or else I'll really be in hot water!

"I'll also throw in some of your favourite miso ramen if you'll do it. Ne, onegai suru wa ... I'm begging you!"

---

Ten minutes of walking later, I find myself back home.

Pulling a chain of keys from my backpack, I deftly pick the correct key out and fit in into the lock.

"There we go ... and click!"

The door swings open with a loud groan. I must remember to oil the hinges when we return from our Baptism of Fire trip.

"Tadaima! I'm home!"

"Onee-chan! Big sis!"

I'm immediately bowled over by a couple of little monsters. Struggling to sit up under the unruly duo's weight, I can barely contain my laughter.

"Nanami-chan, Jun-chan, I'm back!"

---

After finally managing to extricate myself from the two little rotters, I set about preparing breakfast for four in the spotless kitchen.

Just as I am putting the finishing touches to the twins' potato mash with a dash of chili sauce, my dad walks in on me.

"Ah ... so Kaori-chan's come back to cook breakfast for us one last time?"

I turn and pull my eyelid down at the sleepy man, still wearing his PJs.

"Don't make it out like I'm gonna elope with someone or something! I'll still come back to cook for you lot once I get back from our trip!"

Dad laughs, a deep throaty sound that I'm never going to get bored of listening to.

"Good to hear that, I was terrified that we'd have to live on convenience store bento for the rest of our living days!"

I smirk. "Well, that's still better than having Mom cook for you ... "

Blood comically drains from Dad's face. " ... I have to admit, I'd never considered that possibility. I think you'd have to come to the morgue to look for us if we ever had to subsist on Mom's cooking!"

I playfully swing the radish I'm holding at him.

"Don't talk such nonsense, idiot Dad!"

"You're lucky she's out on a business trip, if not you'd be slaughtered alive for having the temerity to make jokes about her cooking!"

"I'll rat on you when she's back!" Grinning playfully, I brandish my radish and chase him out of the kitchen.

---

After getting their breakfast set out on the table, I call my family to the table.

"Breakfast's here!"

All three of them are in the table at a flash. Dad immediately picks up his chopsticks and begins to grab a piece of marinated chicken.

Smiling faintly, I pick up my own chopsticks and rap him smartly on the knuckles. He pretends to drop his chopsticks in pain.

"Dad ... itadakimasu wa? Where's your thanks for the food?"

He grins at me, throwing a wink at me as he claps his hands together.

"Wakarimashita. Dewa, itadakimasu! Got it. Well, thanks for the food!"

After some stern remonstrances from me, the twins obediently follow suit.

While we're eating, Dad picks up the remote control lying on a side table and switches the small LED TV in the living room on.

"Uwah ... isn't that our own Kaori-chan? On the morning news no less!"

"Ehh?"

I drop the slice of fried potato that I'm holding and whip my head towards the TV. On the 8am news, there is indeed footage of me being shown on the screen.

"Ah ... I remember now, that was a few days ago. Some guys from Sekai Shinbun dropped in at the training complex to pay us a visit. Didn't I tell you about that?"

"Nope, not that I can remember ... my daughter's been on TV so often these past week that I can't even keep count of her appearances!"

"Dad, you idiot!"

The on-screen me starts to speak. "Well, I think we're in with a fair chance of winning the entire thing outright, but we'll still have to perform to our very best if we're to bring the trophy home to Kitsuneshima! While we're on the topic ... what's the BoF trophy called anyway?"

Dad laughs so hard that a few grains of rice come flying out of his mouth like bullets.

"Eww, Dad that's completely disgusting!"

"Sorry, I just can't help laughing at my boneheaded daughter!"

---

After I finish cleaning up the dishes, I grab my backpack and hug the twins.

"I'm going now, so you two, don't cause any mischief around the house while I'm gone! I'll give Dad the authority to spank you if you so much as put your fingers in the cookie jar without permission!"

"Okay!" The twins reply in unison.

"Understood, commander!" Dad snaps to attention and smartly salutes me.

I burst out into a peal of laughter at his ridiculously struck pose.

"You know Dad, you'd look much more impressive doing that if you weren't still in your PJs."

---

"So you're finally here, Toyota."

"Yes sir!"

I wave at the distant figure who's standing smack in the middle of the airfield beside a behemoth of an airplane. That is, without a shred of doubt, our Coach - Mihashi Chiyo.

"Yo, Chiyo-chan!"

"Don't call me ... Chiyo-chan!"

"Ouch!"

I get hit on the head with a hard fist. Pretending to cry, I collapse on the ground and hold my head in my hands.

"That hurt ... Chiyo-chan ..."

"That's enough, just get on the plane right now! I would normally stick to my word and remove you from the squad ... but I'll make allowances for your situation. Just get on that infernal machine - immediately!"

"Yay! Thanks, Chiyo-chan!"

"Didn't I tell you not to call me that already!"

---

If you think that Kaori is gonna be your usual, nigh-Mary Sue levels of perfect, moe character, you're sadly mistaken. More to come in the following acts.

[Monozygotia]

Monozygotia is the home of the Monozygotes. Identical twins. Through a manipulated genetic heritage, and some historic gene-pool management, the majority of citizens in Monozygotia are identical twins. About 65% of all people. 20% are Dizygotes, or non-identical twins; and 14% are singletons, or Odds, as we think of them. They are mostly the criminal underclasses, of course. The last 1% or so of the population are Polyzygotes - non identical multiple births in multiples of two, Polyodds - non identical multiples with an odd number of siblings, and under 0.1% of the 1% are Multimonozygotes - identical multiple births in multiples of two. The nation of Monozygotia has a caste system based on this genetic reproduction and the entire socio-economic culture reflects the primacy of duality. Monozygotic siblings work as one, in all aspects of life except procreation, which is regulated by a complex system of protocols, traditions and genetic licensing from the Office of Reproductive Affairs, ORA. Naming of Monozygotes is a state affair too, overseen by The Cultural Registry. Names of siblings must have recognised patterned similarities and as such will be chosen from a wide range of approved pairings. It is usual in Monozygotic every day life to refer to persons by their first names, and if referring to an individual (a quite uncommon occurrence) this will be done by identifying either 'the first' or 'the second of...' followed by the Monozygotic pair. The firstborn of a pair is always named first. Surnames are double or treble-barrelled and used more in formal settings, and then usually only once to identify family and origin. The first of the two surnames (or first two of three) will be the family name, passed down from generation to generation. The final part of the surname will be the place which the sibling was born in - usually the city or district, not small towns or villages but their area name.

As in all walks of life football in Monozygotia is characterised by twinculture, which is to say, more or less, "the way we do things around here". Pairs of siblings play pairs of positions. This obviously, from your Odd perspective, presents certain difficulties with the usual 11-a-side format. In Monozygotia, we play the game as 10-a-side. We do not have a fixed goalkeeper: in Monozygotic Football we practise the art of the rush goalie, that is to say, anyone of the 10 outfield players can be temporary goalkeeper simply by being there. This has evolved from the early 12-a-side Monozygotic form in which goals were much bigger and a Monozygotic pair would play as two fixed goalkeepers. 12-a-side is now only played as an exhibition sport. The small form of the game, Quorssal or Fútsal as you Odds might call it, features 6-a-side. To be compliant with NSWC and UICA codes of football, Monozygotia has had to embrace 11-a-side with one fixed goalkeeper, though this will only happen for international tournaments with the domestic game remaining in 10-and-rush form. It is an anathema for a single Monozygote to perform any function alone, therefore the controversial decision has been made to employ singletons, Odds, as goalkeepers. The goalkeeper, then, is a vital but dishonourable role in the multiversal form of the beautiful game, one which Monozygotia must bear for the sake of the World Cup Cycle. Our Glorious Leaders, Commanders Eztlawal and Eztlasal, have decreed forbearance on this matter by all Monozygotes. It is all for the Higher Paths. Football is played in single-sex leagues and for the World Cup the nation will be represented by the men of the game.

---

Kits courtesy of TGT Sports, Wight.
First: Orange & burgundy YinYang shirts, white shorts, orange & burgundy hooped socks; Second: Tan & yellow YinYang shirts, black shorts & socks.

---

The MZ
Baptism of Fire Squad

Surname: Kyrk-ElmesslyerodarAge: 53
The brothers Ksarkus & Ksanus have been appointed from their role as managers of high-flying domestic team Ruzm Umturtannysser, where they will continue to manage after their duties with the national team are complete. They bring with them several pairs of players who turn out for RU. They are considered introverts since they do not satisfy the media with lurid tabloid escapades or outrageous press conference statements, and live quiet private family lives with their twin wives Mindilsaya & Mindirrasda. Ksarkus & Ksanus will favour a wide 4-4-2 formation, in which the attacking impetus comes from the flanks and the central midfielders will drop back to support the defence.


Surname: Whals-IairoldrodAge: 47
Appointed part-time from their role as highly-rated coaches at top-flight team Ashgartinghai-Duv, Yinus and Yinnai are famous playboys who have yet to settle down, and are the exact opposite of the conservative Ksarkus & Ksanus. Tipped for greatness as managers, they will need to calm down first. Some consider them a poor role model for the younger players in the team, and there is no doubt their lifestyle is of great public debate which may have prevented them from so far getting a top managerial appointment. In their playing career they experienced moderate success with A.-Duv, and prior to that with Volstur Torormquatia & Ruzm Ariaeromo: all good top flight clubs.


Surname: Hosbine-EnvesessturrayAge: Unknown
The Scrutinisation Office, or SO, is part of the state security system, with a specific role to assist Monozygotes in making the right life choices in keeping with Monozygotic twinculture. Ghanix and Tsasix have been appointed to the football team travelling to United Gordonopia to make sure the Monozygotes are not overly exposed to the liberal and dangerous ways of the inherently Odd hosts, as well as all the Odd teams they will be meeting. It would not do for a Monozygote to fraternise with the Odd community, nor to believe everything they see and hear in an infamously unreliable Odd state like UG, where pro-singleton propaganda is rife and dangerously subtle.


The less said about the filthy goalkeeping singletons, the better. It is not polite to mention their surnames unless absolutely necessary. Of the goalkeepers, Tzim is probably considered the best one and will likely start most games, unless he gets busted for stealing hotel property or something - you know what the Odds are like. Although, of course, these three unrelated Odds (a quite repulsive thought) are not permitted to stay with the team in the hotel and will be dossing at a nearby one-star B&B, under the watchful gaze of Officers Tzaj & Tzak of OXO (Office for Cross-Referencing the Odds).


Surname: Bressale-HatthertherveressAge: 24Team: Ashgartinghai-Duv
Biqaq & Biqal, the first choice defenders for The MZ, are well known to coaches Yinus and Yinnai who have been responsible for much of their progress from youth teamers at A.-Duv to the top defenders in the country. Considered natural leaders, they have inherent motivational talents and will be among those to step up when the going gets tough. Big, brave, and good on the ball, any attacker will have a hard time getting past them.


Surname: Thaldl-IssrayemkimrynAge: 18Team: Ruzm Umturtannysser
This is a pair for the future, according to the managers Ksarkus & Ksanus. The managers should know: this is one of the four pairings selected from their club side. They have done well to get a call-up for the national squad, though they are likely to feature little with Biqaq & Biqal ahead of them. Jolam & Jolal are exceptional athletes and may well be considered the fastest defenders in Monozygotia. They eat kilometres for breakfast in morning runs, kilos for lunch in the gym, and carbs for tea.


Surname: Qud-AriaeromoAge: 30Team: Ruzm Ariaeromo
Among the seniors in the team, these one-club home-town heroes are famous grafters who may lack a little flair for the average full-back, but they work like trojans up and down the flanks and provide excellent cover and support for the wingers ahead of them. Ksarkus & Ksanus have already stated they will be the starting defenders out wide, suggesting they are going for workmanlike grit over glinting diamonds in this competition.


Surname: Stryt-TorrodtanhatuAge: 23Team: Latth Osildelmeldu
They may play for the unfashionable Latth, but Azich & Ajilix are much admired young defenders who will surely one day turn out for one of the better teams in Monozygotia, with the national managers reportedly calling them up to trial them ahead of signing them for Ruzm Umturtannysser. They are famously brave, diving in fearlessly for every 50/50, and will not be happy if they don't come off the pitch at the end of the game with a good amount of blood - their own or the oppositions - down their shirts.


Surname: Lumv-UntinauskomoAge: 25Team: Ruzm Umturtannysser
Another pair from the manager's club team, Izlende & Izlos will, along with strikers Etzlende & Azilende, probably be the stars of this team. The fact that they also play together in the league means they have a good understanding with the forwards already and will be hard to resist. The first choice wingers are also from RU, meaning the forward half of the team will have that experience together and should impress. Izlende & Izlos are extrovert characters, with plenty to say for themselves and certainly not afraid to showboat unnecessarily at times.


Surname: Gasttina-EnvesessturrayAge: 22Team: Volstur Torormquatia
The back-up midfield pairing are a real pair of oddballs* from the famously eccentric Gasttina family of Envesessturray. Unpredictable but often brilliant in the midfield. More future stars.*Oddball is a poor translation: in Monozygotic, 'oddball' is a highly insulting term, usually only referred to as 'the O-word' because it is so inflammatory, what with it's connection to the dirty criminal singletons.


Surname: Quydl-EthontasmosAge: 19Team: Ruzm Umturtannysser
More Ruzm players representing the nation, Ghanyesal & Ghanos will be the youngest players in Ksarkus & Ksanus' starting line-up at just 19, providing width with their marauding runs and adding strength even with their tender years, being physical and combative wingers who will link up nicely with Etzlende & Azilende. They like boxing too, and wrestling, and larking about in mud and water, and manly things like that.


Surname: Zhitv-CerenthatirAge: 33Team: Umturtannysser Llufskal
These are a pair of old heads from Ruzm's cross-town rivals Llufskal, no doubt brought into the squad to provide some experience and calming influences on the team - although they have no experience of international football, this being the first ever tournament The MZ have competed in. And they are hardly calming: well known as committed extroverts, they will be mostly on hand to provide parties whilst on tour and guidance into how to trash hotel rooms.


Surname: Blinnz-UmturtannysserAge: 27Team: Ruzm Umturtannysser
Likely to be the stars of the show for The MZ. Yet more from Ruzm, there is almost no-one who would dispute that Etzlende & Azilende are the strikers of the moment in Monozygotia. Poster boys for twinculture, the Double Government hopes to exploit them mercilessly to promote the cause of Monozygotism, though no-one in the Government can quite agree on what precisely that means. Playing all their careers for their home-town club, they are fan favourites although they are known to be rather lazy players: but in the domestic system of rush goalie where goals can often be left exposed, the most effective striking tactic can often be the the goal hanger and these boys are expert at that.


Surname: Rhunn-IngwardarsamAge: 26Team: Ashgartinghai-Duv
A very fine pair of back-up strikers, Ixalek & Ixil have been brought in by the coaches Yinus & Yinnai who work with them daily at A.-Duv. Less prolific than the Blinnz-Urturtannysser boys, and more hard-working, they don't cut quite the same glamorous jib but can be relied upon in a fix.

Style Modifier: +4

RP Permissions & Notes
My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:

Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod scoring events Y
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players Y
Hand out yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out red cards to my players Y
Godmod other events Y

Anything goes, more or less. But please read the above on Monozygotic culture and keep players behaviour within the cultural constraints outlined: the Monozygotes are culturally ingrained to dislike singletons, for example, so will not forge friendships or, gods forbid, participate in sexual encounters of any kind with anyone other than identical twins.

A NOTE ON INJURIES, SUBSTITUTIONS, SENDINGS-OFF
Technically the Monozygotes only have one substitution option: because they will always replace players in pairs, they will have to double sub when necessary and will not use a third sub which would leave one twin on the pitch alone, and this never happens in unforced play. With a sending off, there is no easy way to replace the twin of the sent off player. In domestic Monozygotic football, a sending off means both players leave the pitch, but in the case of standard international association rules football, the twin stays on: they will be pretty useless though, for psychological reasons.

[Astograth]

Are you ready?

RP CUTOFF FOR MATCHDAY 1

(For Groups A-D, that is)

---

MATCHDAY 1 SCORES - ASTOGRATH

Group A
Tatras 1–2 San Jose Guayabal
Myeeria 1–1 Marcos Dynamite
Picts 0–1 Crystal Empire

Group A                       Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Crystal Empire                1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
  San Jose Guayabal             1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
3 Marcos Dynamite               1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
  Myeeria                       1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
5 Picts                         1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
  Tatras                        1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0

Group B
Rabbitomia 1–0 Alitaba
Olastor 3–3 Kavamkao
Above Your Pay Grade 2–3 Furellum

Group B                       Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Furellum                      1   1  0  0    3   2  +1    3
  Rabbitomia                    1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
3 Kavamkao                      1   0  1  0    3   3   0    1
  Olastor                       1   0  1  0    3   3   0    1
5 Above Your Pay Grade          1   0  0  1    2   3  −1    0
  Alitaba                       1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0

Group C
Ellesmerus 0–1 New Matawan
Estado Livre 1–4 Welsh Cowboy
Alkoul 2–1 Leintalun

Group C                       Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Welsh Cowboy                  1   1  0  0    4   1  +3    3
2 Alkoul                        1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
  New Matawan                   1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
4 Ellesmerus                    1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
  Leintalun                     1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0
6 Estado Livre                  1   0  0  1    1   4  −3    0

Group D
Haute Savoie 1–0 Evisceratomatoes
Britanno 1–2 Åsløtten-Bëðerbørg så Česky
Carialus 0–3 Callumackbar

Group D                       Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Callumackbar                  1   1  0  0    3   0  +3    3
2 Åsløtten-Bëðerbørg så Česky   1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
  Haute Savoie                  1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
4 Britanno                      1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0
  Evisceratomatoes              1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
6 Carialus                      1   0  0  1    0   3  −3    0

[Colombian Britannia]

"I still cant get over those Gregoryisgodistan people," remarks Peter McAdoo lying on the bed and facing Jan Meyer, whom he is sharing a room with, "They were fucking nuts about this Gregory person. It's a cult I tell you."

The two of them, as well as the rest of the team had run into the Gregoryisgodistan team in the airport in Teva where the Britannian team, who flew coach, had to make a connexion.

"Yeah, no they were nutty. Whats the best is how one of them had on this AJ Bennett shirt on but plastered over the AJ was Greg.", says Jan Meyer, "I think Greg is basically their dictator. But, that's not that odd, just a massive cult of personality."

"Yeah, one where the people think of their ruler as god!" exclaims Peter.

"That's not that uncommon, in history at least. I mean look at Vagonis," Meyer, who had been a history major before becoming a full time footballer, quickly interjects, "They fucking loved their leader."

"One, what the hell is Vagonis", says Peter, "Two, this is the present day. The year 44. You'd think the world would be rid of it by now."

"The world is a weird place", says Meyer, "There's sentient ponys for god's sake. And this Gregoryland isn't even the weirdest we have in this tournament."

"Oh yeah, who is", asks Peter.

Meyer gets up from his chair and retrieves a newspaper from his duffel bag. Across the top, in big font it reads patistan times. "Here, look at this news paper." says Meyer, handing the paper to Peter.

Peter takes a cursory glance at the paper and bursts out laughing. "It looks like a fucking six year old wrote this," Peter says in a fit of laughter, "Have they ever heard of capitalisation... or hell writing."

"Hey now," Myer speaks in a mock defensive tone, "Don't laugh at them for having poor... education."

The two, for the most part are unable to contain their laughter bursting out into more and more fits of laughter as they read the articles. Causing quite a ruckus this late at night they attract the attention of one of the players next door. A few seconds later there is a knock at the door. Peter gets up and opens it. At the door stands Hattori Misakato, a thinly built 5'6'' midfielder. His hair, amber, in the way that only a Yorozuyan (Japanese) person could be.

"I'm trying to sleep," Misakato's voice carrying well exactly how tired he was, "Can you calm it down"

"Sure, come in here and see this though," shouts Jan before Peter can say anything.

"What?" says Misakato as he walks over to Jan. Leaving the stand open.

Within minutes, Misakato has joined the 'lets laugh at the patistan times' party. The Yorozuyan-Britannian having all but forgot about trying to get to sleep. This goes on for twenty minutes or so. The paper isn't long but they laugh continuously at it and once it finally runs out of material for comedy they resort to making fun of some of the other countries that they know about who are participating in the BoF.

All the meanwhile the door stays open. Eventually a red-headded, bearded man in a plaid shirt and jeans stumbles into the room.

"Hey," says the man in a drunk, Scottish accent as if there is any other kind, Obviously drunk, "What ye doin?"

"Oh, nothing much Albus," the man is none other than the assistant manager for the national team Albus Dunlap. "Just, talking over plans for the game tomorrow."

The boys needed a good reason to be up this late. The team had set a lights off time of 22:00 as the team's game was scheduled to kickoff right at noon the next day and a good night's rest is critical in terms of performance the next day.

"Oh... come on. Be honest. You can be honest with me ol' Albie", Albus says, slurring his words.

"No seriously", says Peter.

"Oh come on. You mean to tell me three young men like you are just talking strategy. Not about girls or something.", says Albus mocking disappointment.

"No, just strategy"

"Well, we're talking about girls. And you know what kind of girls I really like... Yorozuyan girls. I love those petite frames. Never had me one but, lordy do I dream about it though. Also love Astograthian women and well yeah... I... I love them all.. .and hold on, lets get some girls in here." Albus then begins to leave.

"No, we're really ok."

"Naah. I'll be back with some girls for you guys"

[United Gordonopia]

As Astograth and I mentioned in our bid to host this tournament, I would like to share some observations in the form of comments and constructive criticism based on the RPs I read this matchday

-Though the basis of a roster is, of course, the players, positions, and permissions, it is definitely more interesting, and perhaps can score additional points depending on the tournament, to read through one that goes beyond that. I love rosters with info about the nation, or that are told through the format of an article or broadcast, since they both provide an interesting read and helpful commentary and exposition that could be useful for people writing an RP involving your team.

-There was a lot of multi-post RPing going on this matchday, and that is great! For a host like myself who enjoys reading others' writing, I had a wealth of prose. A small caution for the future, though: make sure you have material throughout the tournament. Since many hosts impost a daily cap on RP bonus, if you think you may be restricted for time later in the tournament but have RPs that don't necessarily have to be posted on a specific day, it never hurts to save some of them as drafts for a rainy day.

-I noticed a few commentary duos that had a common trope: the less-than-intelligent partner. While all of them were good reads, and certainly put their own spin on it, there is always more opportunity to go your own unique direction. Perhaps the partner is not as clueless as they seem? Or maybe their unintelligent ramblings are actually more popular with the viewers?

Group E

Partially Blind People 1–2 Monozygotia
Vaugania 6–2 Hardwinter
Kidlantis 0–2 Patistan

Rank                              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Vaugania                          1   1  0  0    6   2  +4    3
2 Patistan                          1   1  0  0    2   0  +2    3
3 Monozygotia                       1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
4 Partially Blind People            1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0
5 Kidlantis                         1   0  0  1    0   2  −2    0
6 Hardwinter                        1   0  0  1    2   6  −4    0

Group F

New Lowerlands 0–2 New Lonopolian Empire
Bypass814 1–1 Szkvara
Gregoryisgodistan 2–4 Riojasia

Rank                              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 New Lonopolian Empire             1   1  0  0    2   0  +2    3
  Riojasia                          1   1  0  0    4   2  +2    3
3 Bypass814                         1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
  Szkvara                           1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
5 Gregoryisgodistan                 1   0  0  1    2   4  −2    0
  New Lowerlands                    1   0  0  1    0   2  −2    0

Group G

Kingdom of Costa Luna 1–6 Colombian Britannia
Kitsuneshima 2–3 Fiendish Snackers
Southwick 2–2 The Paradystopi Lymryk Isles

Rank                              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Colombian Britannia               1   1  0  0    6   1  +5    3
2 Fiendish Snackers                 1   1  0  0    3   2  +1    3
3 Southwick                         1   0  1  0    2   2   0    1
  The Paradystopi Lymryk Isles      1   0  1  0    2   2   0    1
5 Kitsuneshima                      1   0  0  1    2   3  −1    0
6 Kingdom of Costa Luna             1   0  0  1    1   6  −5    0

Group H

Felinetopia 3–0 Taijan
Tarrigan 2–1 Safaari
Polkopia 4–0 Theaoie

Rank                              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts
1 Polkopia                          1   1  0  0    4   0  +4    3
2 Felinetopia                       1   1  0  0    3   0  +3    3
3 Tarrigan                          1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
4 Safaari                           1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0
5 Taijan                            1   0  0  1    0   3  −3    0
6 Theaoie                           1   0  0  1    0   4  −4    0

Small heads up: Cutoff may come a bit later tonight, though only a small chance of that

[Patistan]

the patistanis cheer and are cheerful while they go back to the hotel shazib the Capitan talks now,Guys that was our first game okay so dont be that excited that we won we still have alot of hard teams infront of is but,for now lets celebrate but get a good night sleep because okay we will need to practice a lot.This was the only tense moment through the subway ride but the rest of it was talking about the game

[Kitsuneshima]

---

Kitsunes Overrun by Fiendish Snackers!
Kitsuneshima off to a flyer - off their high perch that is - by crashing to unexpected opening defeat

---

Terauchi Kanami

Well, well, well.

So we finally have solid evidence that those traitors from the Scattered Isles can't cut it at the highest level of the beautiful game.

In United Gordonopia, where the 53rd edition of the Baptism of Fire kicked off for the Auroral Union's protectorate, the Kitsunian national team slumped to a morale-sapping 2-3 defeat against their unlikely conquerors, Fiendish Snackers.

Quite how they managed to lose against such an unfancied team, when they were heavily favoured to take their group by storm by several reputable pundits in the country, amazes me. In the Kitsunian pre match press conference, their coach Mihashi Chiyo grandstanded by saying that her team was sure to win their first game and ensure that the rest of their group stage progresses smoothly.

She will now have to eat humble pie after her team barely turned up for the match and allowed the Snackers to sneak away with a much-deserved victory. The final scoreline of 2-3 did not do justice to the overall performance of the Fiendish Snackers team, which just goes to show how the Kitsunians were completely dominated by their opponents.

Straight from the kickoff, it was plainly obvious that Mihashi's Kitsunes were not going to emerge with any sort of credit from the game. Having watched the entire game live from Sekai Shinbun HQ, my colleagues had plenty to say about the opening passages of play, and they were all queuing up to pile the dirt on the Kitsunes.

---

Kihara Ryoma, senior sports correspondent

It was painfully evident that Kitsuneshima's false nine formation was not going to do their chances of victory any favours. Right from the start, I could see that the unconventional formation utilised by Mihashi only robbed her team of a central focal point for their offence - basically, without a true striker to feed, the rest of the team were consigned to passing the ball around the opposition half to no effect.

Komiya Kyousuke, sports editor

The Kitsunes were, plainly put, completely ineffectual in their play. Mihashi may have taught them just how to play the ball in neat little triangles, but that is merely a useless parlour trick that won't get them by many top teams at international level. They were tepid, uninspired, I would even go so far as to describe them as clueless; at this rate, it wouldn't surprise me if they were to be eliminated in the group stages.

Konda Hatsuyo, junior sports reporter

Worthless play from the Kitsunes. Their defence was a mass of holes, since their wingbacks had the unfortunate tendency to stray too far up the pitch. That overtly attacking mindset allowed the Fiendish Snackers to fully exploit the vast tracts of space that were left behind by their marauding runs; these breaks down the flanks directly contributed to two of the Snackers' goals. Furthermore, the attacking aspect of the Kitsunes also left much to be desired, despite them committing a host of men forward for the attack. Mihashi needs to wake up from her idealistic fantasies and face reality; they are never going to get anywhere by randomly cramming men into the opposition half.

---

In the early moments of the game, the cracks in the Kitsunes' defence were already in plain sight, just waiting to be taken advantage of by the Fiendish Snackers. Keeper Mann launched the ball deep into offensive territory from a goal kick following a skewed shot by Sakurada. Mann's long ball searched out Bone, whose dip of the shoulder easily took him past a backtracking Moriguchi, whose lack of pace was cruelly exposed as the Snackers man breezed past him in a flash.

Bone proceeded to slip a cute pass to fellow teammate Urter, whose curling shot from 20 yards just cleared the crossbar and left Kitsune keeper Maruyama worried. It was a brief respite for the Kitsunes, but the worst was yet to come for them.

On the stroke of the 15th minute, Sakurada miscontrolled a lobbed ball from Shimura from deep and lost possession while deep in Snackers territory. The ball was rapidly moved downfield, the Snackers all perfectly in sync with each other, on the same frequency. Eventually, the ball found itself glued to the feet of Cristo, whose fine run took him past the entire Kitsunian backline and left him one-on-one with Maruyama. In a desperate attempt to save his defence's blushes, Maruyama came charging out to challenge Cristo, but he could only bring the attacker down.

The official in charge correctly ruled that Maruyama had committed a professional foul, and he was duly given his marching orders. With such a setback with only 15 minutes on the clock, Mihashi controversially chose to further weaken her team's defence by taking Moriguchi off and sending teenage prodigy (they call her prodigy, we call her sh*t) Shokuhou Suzuno on.

Now, it is common knowledge that Shokuhou naturally plays as a striker. And that would be the logical position to deploy her in, would it not? Apparently Mihashi favours going against common sense, as she inexplicably chose to play Shokuhou as a goalkeeper.

Yes, you don't need another pair of reading glasses, and your eyesight hasn't gone fuzzy. A goalkeeper.

Shokuhou was plainly outraged at being called upon to play 'keeper, especially while the Kitsunes had another established 'keeper on the bench just waiting to be subbed on. The 'keeper in question, Tezuka Ruri, was also furious at Mihashi's decision, protesting by gesticulating wildly at her manager and shouting at her. Mihashi was unperturbed by the accusations and strong words that were being hurled at her in barrages.

And thus, Shokuhou duly faced Par Sley, who was designated to take the Snackers' penalty that had earlier been conceded by the rash Maruyama.

Guess what? She saved it.

In a miracle of epic proportions that almost makes me want to genuflect before the gods, cast off my vow to remain atheist for the rest of my life, and subscribe to organised religion, Shokuhou acrobatically dived the right way to deny Sley, whose fierce rocket of a shot was tipped onto a post and subsequently cleared by Akechi, who reacted first and managed to get to the ball before anyone else. Shokuhou herself was surprised by the miracle she had pulled off, while the rest of her teammates converged in the penalty area, mobbing her in joyous celebration.

Guess what? The ball was still in play after being booted downfield by Akechi.

As the Kitsunes descended upon the shocked Shokuhou in droves like hyenas upon its prey, the Snackers proceeded to get the ball straight back up the field, and Baster set up his forward, Pumper Nickle, for a simple close range tap-in.

Trust me when I say it was easier than taking candy from a baby. You know what the buildup was like? Crackers leisurely strolled up from deep in defence before laying off a simple pass to Baster, who in turn only had to edge the ball forward with the tip of his boot for Nickle to finish from close range.

Upon realising what had transpired, the livid Kitsunes took to mobbing the match official in protest of the decision to allow the Snackers goal. It was a damn correct decision, by the way. The referee, who was besieged by spitting and hissing players left, right and center, had no option but to brandish his cards.

And boy, was it a cardfest. During that incident, the ref showed no less than eleven cards, including two yellows to a furiously protesting Akechi, who somehow managed to avoid getting sent off (no idea whether the ref was disoriented and simply forgot), and a red to 'keeper Shokuhou for shoving him in the back. Footage of the match showed that a Kitsunian player somehow managed to slip in some vanilla ice-cream into the match and dumped a whole tub's worth on the pitch, which the ref conveniently managed to slip on and land flat on his ass after getting shoved by Shokuhou. It is currently unknown whether his unfortunate slip factored in his decision to dismiss Shokuhou. The United Gordonopian FA has been notified of the matter, and they may yet choose to bring the matter to the disciplinary committee of the world governing body. The culprit who slapped ice cream on the pitch is still unidentified, since he/she was hidden from view by a Snackers player as he/she was committing the heinous act.

Having made the point that those Kitsunes are worthless louts and criminals that don't even know how football is played (and convincing readers that Kitsuneshima is a hellhole full of shit in the process, I hope), I digress.

Shortly after the referee removed his white-stained bottom from the pitch and took himself off the pitch (treatment for concussion, can you believe that?), several Snackers players, led by their captain of the day Bumstead, raced down the pitch towards the blob of white in an attempt to salvage what remained of the vanilla ice-cream, furiously pushing and jostling among themselves in an attempt to cram their guts full of the delectable stuff. Eyewitnesses report that almost the entire Snackers team joined in the Great Ice-Cream Rush, and even the goalkeeper, Hungh R.Y. Mann, lived up to his name by running the entire length of the pitch for the sole purpose of shovelling ice-cream down his gullet.

One disgruntled Kitsune fan was reported to have said : "If I knew they were going to go that rabid over a tub of ice-cream soiled by the ref's arse, I would have paid for a whole truckload of the stuff and unloaded 'em on the pitch while the Kitsunes were attacking!"

Faulty logic aside (wouldn't the players have slipped on the ice-cream as they tried to advance down the field? Typical foolishness, as to be expected of the Kitsunian filth), this is certainly a fine point. Teams in Group G would do well to pay attention to this singularly unfortunate fault of the Snackers. Who knows, they very well might be overrun 100-0 in their next game, now that their opponents have discovered this critical flaw. Feed the Fiendish Snackers, and they will let you score.

This time, it was the Kitsunes' chance to capitalise on their opponents' distraction. Moving the ball swiftly down the pitch, Toyota neatly sidestepped a drooling Snacker before laying the ball off to Sakurada, who had the nerve to call Shimura up from the defence and allow him the honour of scoring the first goal for the Kitsunian national team. In the aftermath, conspiracy theorists have suggested that Sakurada is not as big-hearted as she might have seemed, with several unconfirmed reports in Kizuna indicating that Sakurada had previously placed an enormous sum of cash on Shimura being the first player to score for the national team. Estimates of the amount she's going to rake in from the bookies range from a measly 5000 aurorae (10000 kitsune yen), about the price of a cutting edge bicycle in the Auroral Union, to an astounding 9 billion aurorae (18 billion kitsune yen), the estimated worth of the state-owned Miria Corporation, which produces just about everything from firearms to nerve gears.

It is my humble opinion that we can safely discount that last estimate.

The ensuing kickoff had to be delayed for some time, as the Snackers wouldn't budge from their front seats at their restaurant until they'd cleaned every last morsel from the pitch. During that time, the Kitsunians cooked up some truly interesting (get what I mean?) ways to while away the time. Cards were whipped out of shirts and pants (no idea how they managed to smuggle playing cards in), and the entire team sat down to play some rubbers of bridge.

Right in the middle of the match.

You'd be forgiven for thinking : This isn't gonna end well by any means. And you would be spot on.

After finally cleaning the ice-cream out and letting out several disgusting burps that are said to have reverberated around the stadium, the Snackers continued the game by kicking off. And of course, the Kitsunes were still immersed in their rubbers of bridge. The lone centre back, Shimura, did manage to realise in time that their goal was wide open and took up his position in the heart of the defence, while conveniently forgetting that the rest of his team was sitting halfway up the pitch arguing over who was gonna be the dealer for their rubbers.

The result? A goal, of course!

Pages12

[Kitsuneshima]

Previous Acts - Jinnai Minatsu Arc

---

Prologue and Act One - The Lord of the Pigeons
Act Two - The Disappearance of Jinnai Makoto
Act Three - Melancholic Melody
Act Four - Divine Decree

Act Five - Toxic Mind

---

" ... huh?"

My eyes slowly open of their own accord. The first thing I see through them is a golden glow.

Moments later, a brilliant stream of light cuts through darkness, burning my eyes with its brightness.

I reflexively raise a hand to shield them from the glare of light and turn over in my bed, with my back to the window.

My eyes slowly adjust to the level of brightness in the room. After half a minute, I am able to see clearly without squinting.

As my mind kicks into gear, a flash of realisation comes to me.

" ... I'm still alive? Even after that ordeal?"

I can't help but sigh in relief.

" ... so I've passed the gods' test, eh? Somehow I can't help but think that I'm destined to live until I've fulfilled the oath that I've taken ... "

I allow myself the luxury of a small smile as I get up from my bed and draw my curtains further apart.

Sunlight slashes through the darkness and bathes my room in a soft glow, painting a mesmerising canvas of light and darkness on the opposite wall.

It is so alluring that I can't help but stare at it, transfixed by the stark contrast between the silently moving shadows that are cast by the leaves and branches of the sakura planted directly outside my window, and the radiant, golden beams of sunlight.

And of course, my own, jet black shadow.

It is some time before I can summon the willpower to pull my gaze away.

" ... well, can't dawdle around all day."

I turn my back on the vivid scene and begin to scrutinise myself in the huge mirror that takes up an entire wall of my room.

I come face to face with my doppelganger. She is dressed in ill fitting pajamas that bears an embroidered cat on its front, sporting a mop of messy, unkempt auburn hair with dark bags under her eyes.

"You certainly look like a wreck today, Jinnai Minatsu."

I remonstrate myself for allowing myself to slip into such poor condition.

"I have no idea how you can turn into something that resembles a roadside beggar simply by going to sleep."

I try my best to put up a strong front, but my doppelganger does not seem inclined to match me. I try everything in my repertoire, but even my most ferocious hiss only elicits a feeble meow in return.

I take a step back and observe the creature in the mirror. She looks back miserably at me with her liquid eyes, as if imploring me to help her regain her usual demeanour.

"I probably should get to cleaning myself up a bit before I make an appearance in the family's presence."

Picking up a comb that is sitting on a side table, I walk into the bathroom and begin to remodel myself into a more presentable human being.

---

Fifteen minutes later, I lightly tiptoe down the stairs. I creep into the kitchen, where I extract my cup from among the pile of unwashed cutlery in the sink, rinse it with some water and tip some fresh milk from the refrigerator into it.

I proceed to whip up breakfast for myself, a simple sandwich with whole grain bread, some Cheddar cheese and a few slices of succulent vegetables.

All in all, a simple affair by anyone's standards.

I lean against the counter and begin to sip the cool liquid, all the while turning the seeds of an idea over in my mind.

"The package should be arriving today ... I can probably make use of that to gain some more traction within the family."

As I sip my milk, I glance around the kitchen, trying to find something to observe, to occupy myself while I have my breakfast.

A pure crystal tumbler of water catches my eye. It is the tumbler from which the family pour their drinking water.

" ... common sense dictates that I just end it here and now, but my oath to Mafuyu prevents me from seeking such an unsatisfactory way to terminate them. If I do get rid of the vermin using this method, I won't be doing justice to my family and Mafuyu."

I finger the small packet of crystals that I have hidden in the pocket of my jeans. I know full well what is contained inside it.

Potassium cyanide, KCN. Courtesy of ... one of my secret sources. One which wants to see the Hideyoshis subjected to the most inhumane deaths as much as I do.

When dissolved in water, it releases cyanide ions, which can then react with an acid to produce hydrogen cyanide, a deadly substance that works its magic by inhibiting cellular respiration, causing the victim's body cells to be unable to make use of the oxygen transported in their bloodstream. As a consequence, the victim cannot oxidise food substances to produce energy, and this leads to death within the hour through the hypoxia of neural tissue.

The body tissues are deprived of oxygen, and if the neural tissues are affected ... it means that nervous impulses can no longer be transmitted throughout the body. And that inevitably leads to the passing of the victim.

All it takes is a single minuscule dose of around 300 milligrams to be assured of a single fatality. It would be exceedingly easy for me to slip the contents of the package, some 100 grams, into the tumbler, unnoticed by anyone.

But I steel myself against the temptation and hold back my urge to empty the entire contents of the packet into the tumbler. This will not do.

"Instead of killing the entire family in one go with my little buddy here, how about I just give them a slight scare?"

I bare my teeth and smile. Today is gonna be an extremely interesting day to be in the Hideyoshi household. And that's an understatement.

Still smiling, I pull out the packet of crystals and begin to rip it open.

[Riojasia]

OOC: This is a collaboration match commentary between Riojasia and Gregoryisgodistan. Both nations participated and deserve equal credit for this RP.

“Hi, I’m Sportscaster HSYAYTW of Gregoryisgodistan, along with Roger Fields of Riojasia, and we welcome everyone from Gregoryisgodistsan and Riojasia, plus those watching on satellite around the world, to this Baptism of Fire opener between Gregoryisgodistan and Riojasia.”

“Welcome to the show,” replied Roger. “So far the teams are just coming onto the pitch now, ready for the national anthems. The Riojasian national anthem will be played by the Royal Chardonnay Philharmonic Orchestra.”

On the pitch, the two teams proceeded out of the tunnel, lining up at the centre of the pitch (or center of the pitch if you live in Gregoryisgodistan and don’t want to be sent to a spelling re-education camp for 21 days). The orchestra followed, setting up in the centre. The conductor counted them in and they began to play “Land of Wine and Honour”. The Gregoryisgodistan TV network called it “Land of Wine and Honor” on a graphic to avoid being banished to those spelling re-education camps.

Fertile soils that we do toil,
Where we plant our fertile vines,
Let them flourish so they may nourish
Our citizens both fair and fine.

Rains please come and water
The fruits of labour, love and land,
So that grapes may grow in splendour
In honour of our motherland.

Citizens the grapes are ready,
Those with honour come and pick,
The finest grapes our land provides
Then make them into juice so fresh and thick.

Pitch the yeast and we’re fermenting
Wine that will nourish us for all time,
Comforting those who are lamenting,
And rewarding those honoured souls who worked for thine.

Citizens of Riojasia, we do honour,
Honest, hard-working and true,
Bring your glass and come and drink up,
Honoured citizens, this wine is for you.

“Next, Singer JS823QBA will sing the national anthem of Gregoryisgodistan, ‘Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty’” said Sportscaster HSYAYTW.

Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
We Praise You We Worship You
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
Master of Gruel and Prune Juice
He Gives Us Gruel And Prune Juice Yes
We Worship Him as a Deity and Bow Down To Him Whenever We See Him
On TV or In Person or In Statue
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
We Love You We Worship You
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
A million praises unto you
Gregory Gregory Is Immortal
He Considers Us His Little Playthings
A term He Only Uses In Jest Because He Has Infinite Mercy for Us All
Gregory Gregory We Adore Thee
We Bow Down To Thee In Praise
Thou Art More Smart Than Sir Einstein So We Say "Einstein Who?"
Gregory Gregory Master of Slave Labor
We Are All Your Slaves in Heart
Some Of Us Are Slaves to this Nation
Some of Us Just Wish We Were
Gregory Gregory Inventor of the Solar Bomb
Which We Use to Vanqiush Our Enemies
Gregory Gregory Master of Everything
Thou Art Lord and Thou Art God
Gregory Gregory You Wrote This Song
Our Favorite Song In The Entire World
We Sing it Every Hour on The Hour
Like Clockwork We Praise your Lordship
Gregory Gregory We Bow Down Again
We Fly This Flag Outside Our Home
Gregory Gregory We Have Shrines in Our Homes
In Our Shops and Everywhere
Gregory Gregory We Worship You Day and Night
In Our Dreams We even Worship You
Gregory Gregory This is the Only Song We Sing!”

“What kind of a name is Singer JS823QBA?” asked Roger, as the anthem ended as a look of puzzlement played across his face.

“In Gregoryisgodistan, only important government people have real names. The rest just have titles and government ID’s,” Sportscaster HSYAYTW explained. “Singer JS823QBA is a singer, and her governemnt ID is JS823QBA. I am a sportscaster, and my government ID is HSYAYTW. Titles change, but government ID’s don’t. I used to be Youth HSYAYTW and later Journalist HSYAYTW.”

“Fair enough. I’ve just been Roger Fields all my life,” replied the Riojasian, still confused about the reasoning. “But now we have the coin-toss. David Seaman, the Riojasian Captain and goalkeeper is stepping up for the toss.”

“And for Gregoryisgodistan, we have their captain, midfielder Soccer Jester FunnyMan294,” added Sportscaster HSYAYTW. The referee tossed the coin before holding his arm up towards Soccer Jester FunnyMan294.

“It looks like the coin toss has been won by Gregoryisgodistan. Will they kick off now or wait until the second half?” asked Roger.

“We want the ball, and we’re going to win,” Soccer Jester FunnyMan294 told the ref. Riojasia now had choice of side to defend for the first half, and would defend the other in the second half. The referee put the ball down in the centre and the two teams took their positions. The referee blew the whistle to signal the start of the game. Soccer Jester FunnyMan294 kicked it to Retired Soldier Commander Lieutenant Warlord McBurgerKing and the game was underway.
Mutley dashed forwards, flanked by Fernandez to intercept the next pass. However, Commander Lieutenant Warlord McBurgerKing’s pass missed everyone and went out for a Riojasia throw. It was taken by Mutley who passed the ball to Devon just in the Gregoryisgodistan half, who passed the ball to Trooper, starting the offensive. Trooper dashed down the far side before passing backwards to Mutley who skirted around Soccer Jester CLOWNPIREPIE before crossing the ball back to Devon. Trooper ran towards the centre, receiving a clean cross from Devon before sending it forward to Spingo as he ran into the penalty box. The striker received the ball and sent it towards the bottom-left hand corner of the net at the 9th minute. However, Gruelmaker 28589A saved it for the Foot Slaves, and tried to lead them on the quick counterattack.

He passed it up to Secret Ingelligence Agent [Redacted], Badge Number 98455, who hoofed it downfield to Retired Soldier Commander Lieutenant Warlord McWarlord. Lancaster came forward to incercept but the midfielder then crossed it to Soccer Jester FunnyMan294 to trickled it into the box where Death Row Inmate On Parole Until His Team Loses Inmate Number 91488 sent it toward the goal. Seaman dived towards the ball, as it rolled past his outstretched fingertips. 1-0 Gregoryisgodistan at the 14th minute marker. “I guess he’s doing everything possible to avoid execution,” said Sportscaster HSYAYTW.

“I guess so,” replied Roger. “Why do you allow prisoners to play in the national team anyway?”

“He’s not a violent criminal. His crime was owning a bike,” Sportscaster HSYAYTW explained. “And he’s a very good soccer player, so we figured we would give him a chance to annul his sentence if the Foot Slaves can perform well in this cycle. If the team struggles, he will be executed after the conclusion of the Cup of Harmony, but Lord Almighty Gregory has agreed to pardon him if our team does well. He can either win the Baptism of Fire, qualify for the World Cup proper, or advance to the knockout stage of the Cup of Harmony. Any one of those will get him pardoned.”

Meanwhile, only a few fans in the Gregoryisgodistan section were cheering. The rest were just standing there. Due to travel restrictions, Gregoryisgodistan commoners were not allowed to travel to the tournament as spectators, and all the VIP’s were in the VIP box. So the supporter section consisted of paid actors from Gregory Llama Land, which according to conspiracy theorists is also run by Lord Almighty Gregory. However, these rumors cannot be confirmed. In any case, most of the actors did not understand soccer and had no idea they were supposed to be cheering.This confused Roger.

“Why aren’t your fans cheering? Your team just scored…” he asked in bewilderment before concentrating on the game again. Shutting off his mike temporarily so the message was not broadcast in Gregoryisgodistan, Sportscaster HSYAYTW explained. “Due to travel restrictions, our commoners are not allowed to travel to the tournament. So we hired actors from another country. But don’t say that on air or they’ll kill me.” Switching his microphone back on, Sportscaster HSYAYTW then said “but they are cheering, see?” He then began clapping his own hands to make it seem like the “Gregoryisgodistan fans” were cheering.

Roger nodded. “I missed that, I must be getting old. Anyway, back to the game. Peters kicks off from the centre, passing the ball to José. Mutley comes in, receiving a quick pass before passing it forwards to a running Fernandez. He’s taking it down the line, kicking it forward past Secret Ingelligence Agent [Redacted], Badge Number 98455. Trooper receives it and is confronted by Government Advisor Lordborn Godsam. With nowhere to go, he crosses it towards Spingo. He receives the ball and only the keeper to get past now! Secret Police Agent Dominic Button and Police Agent Jorge Warlord are coming in. Spingo charges forward, blasting the ball towards the top-right corner! Gruelmaker 28589A jumps but it’s too high! The ball is in the net and the score is tied at 1-1 at the 18th minute!”

In the stands the Riojasian fans erupted in applause and cheered loudly. The Gregoryisgodistan fans were silent, but they had been for the entire game so this should be no surprise.

“Soccer Jester CLOWNPIREPIE takes centre and passes it to Soccer Jester FunnyMan294,” Sportscaster HSYAYTW said. “He passes it up to Retired Soldier Commander Lieutenant Warlord McBurgerKing, who crosses it to Death Row Inmate On Parole Until His Team Loses Inmate Number 91488. Short aerial pass to Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Robert Possibe, who heads it off the right post. Death Row Inmate On Parole Until His Team Loses Inmate Number 91488 shoots but it’s over the bar. Still 1-1. Goal kick for Riojasia at the 25th minute.”

“Well Seaman is lining up his shot and sends it far downfield,” continued Roger. “Mutley receives it, passing to José. He sends it to Fernandez who sends it to a running Peters. Peters back to Mutley, who is confronted by MF Retired Soldier Commander Lieutenant Warlord McWarlord. He tries to pass down the line to Devon but sends the ball over. Throw-in for Gregoryisgodistan at the 29th minute.”

“Soccer Jester FunnyMan294 takes the throw in, passing it to Retired Soldier Commander Lieutenant Warlord McBurgerKing who is tackled from behind by Yorkie. He’s brought down by the over-enthusiastic tackle! The referee blows his whistle and awards the foul. Free kick to Gregoryisgodistan! Soccer Jester FunnyMan294 takes the free kick and it’s up ahead down the field to Retired Soldier Commander Lieutenant Warlord McWarlord. He heads it into the box for Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Robert Possibe, who has nobody but the keeper to beat, and he fires it into the back of the net. But wait, the flag was up. Offsides, no goal.”

“Shame about the shot, it was a very powerful strike,” commented Roger.

“It always bugs me when announcers say that,” said Sportscaster HSYAYTW. “If he were in an onside position, it would have been a lot harder to get off such a good shot.”

“Well, here’s the offside,” announced Roger. On the screens of viewers at home, a computer-generated view of the pitch with markers for the players came onto the screen. Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Robert Possibe was offsides by at least 10 feet behind Lancaster. Clearly the right call. “Seaman takes the ball and sends it far downfield. Peters receives it and sends it to José. José across to Fernandez. Fernandez to Trooper. He takes possession and makes a break for space. Trooper crosses to Spingo where he is blocked by both the keeper and Secret Police Agent Dominic Button. The latter clears it away, and it’s still 1-1 with 9 minutes left in this half. The ball is picked up by Yorkie who sends the ball to Mutley. The midfielder kicks it forward towards the goal where it is received by Devon. He runs on and is joined by Spingo and Trooper. Devon to Spingo. Spingo to Trooper. Trooper to Devon. The three are making a powerful offensive team. And one of them will be shooting, but who? Devon to Spingo. Spingo back to Devon. Devon to Trooper who shoots immediately! He sends the ball past Gruelmaker 28589A to take Riojasia into the lead! Riojasia - 2, Gregoryisgodistan - 1. With three minutes left to go in this half, the signal goes up that one minute of extra time will be added to this half!”

“Only one minute after three goals? That’s surprising,” commented Sportscaster HSYAYTW.

“And the foul and the offside,” continued Roger. “But we’ve had a pretty quick turnaround so far. Gregoryisgodistan take centre again.”

“ Soccer Jester FunnyMan294 kicks it to Retired Soldier Commander Lieutenant Warlord McWarlord, who kicks it back to Government Advisor Lordborn Godsam. There’s a pass up to Retired Soldier Commander Lieutenant Warlord McBurgerKing, but Fernandez kicks it out for a throw. One minute to go, plus stoppage. Quickly Soccer Jester FunnyMan294 throws it in, Mutley comes in to intercept as the ball is received by Retired Soldier Commander Lieutenant Warlord McBurgerKing and relieves Gregoryisgodistan from possession. He passes to José who sends it up the field towards Devon as the referee blows the whistle, signalling the end of the first half. Well Sportscaster HSYAYTW, what do you think of the game so far?” Roger asked.

“It’s a one goal game. Gregoryisgodistan has had their chances but couldn’t convert. The header off the post and the shot over the bar were huge. It could have been 2-1 Gregoryisgodistan. Instead it’s 2-1 the other way. That made a big difference. But one goal makes it a tie game if Gregoryisgodistan scores. On the other hand, if RIojasia scores early in the second half, I think it’s pretty much over.”

“I think we’ll give you a good match. Our Janners like to play a clean game, even if they are a little over-enthusiastic at times,” replied Roger.

“Let’s hope so,” replied Sportscaster HSYAYTW. “As a reminder to those in Gregoryisgodistan who are watching the 1 PM encore performance, which should be any viewer not authorized to stay up past curfew to watch it live at 1 AM, just a reminder that coming up right after this is an all-new episode of ‘Costa Lunians Say the Darndest Things’ where Doybert decides to make a sandwich, but uses rocks instead of bread and paper instead of meat. Then he tries to eat it and make some for his friends. For those watching this live, such as late-night shift police officers, that episode will air at 3 PM. Right now, it’s time for these messages.” In Riojasia, the usual commercials began to play.In Gregoryisgodistan, propaganda messages disguised as PSAs imploring viewers to support their Leader and not flush gruel down the toilet began to play.

“Do not flush gruel down the toilet. It is a gift of love from Lord Almighty Gregory which cannot be wasted. Additionally, it clogs the pipes and makes life worse for you and your neighbors. Furthermore, flushing gruel down the toilet is punishable by a month of slave labor. So don’t do it. Remember- Flushing Gruel Isn’t Cool.”

Once all the mics were turned off and the feed disconnected Roger turned to Sportscaster HSYAYTW and asked a quiet question. “Why are you called the Foot Slaves? Or is that a stupidly obvious question?”

“Gregoryisgodistanis commonly refer to ourselves as slaves to Lord Almighty Gregory, a term used not derogatorily but lovingly. Therefore, all our sports teams are nicknamed the Such-and-such Slaves. Our American football team is the Grid Slaves, our baseball team is the Bat Slaves, our beach soccer team is the Sand Slaves, our futsal team is the ‘Sal Slaves, and so on,” Sportscaster HSYAYTW replied.

“Thanks. You come from a very interesting country,” replied Roger. “I’m guessing tourism isn’t much of an option if commoners can’t leave?”

“That’s correct, but government VIP’s and loyal friends of Lord Almighty Gregory are allowed to leave the country at any time, and many take vacations to other countries,” replied Sportscaster HSYAYTW.

Roger nodded as a buffet was set up in the corner and stood up. “Food’s arrived and I’m starving. You want anything?”

“Consuming anything other than prune juice and gruel rations is punishable by death in Gregoryisgodistan unless you’re an elite or an athlete at a competition. So no thanks. Fortunately, I came prepared,” Sportscaster HSYAYTW said as he took some prune juice and gruel out of his pocket.

---

“Welcome back to the second half of this match between Gregoryisgodistan and Riojasia. Currently the Janners lead by one goal with the score being Riojasia 2, Gregoryisgodistan 1. This is a joint broadcast being shown in both Riojasia and Gregoryisgodistan and I am pleased to be working with Sportscaster HSYAYTW,” announced Roger as the feed began again.

“Thanks, it’s a pleasure to work with you, Roger. Riojasia is about to kick the ball off to start the second half, so I’ll turn it over to you.”

Roger nodded, turning his attention to the match. “The referee blows the whistle and here starts the second half! Mutley kicks off, passing the ball to Peters. He taps it across to Fernandez who sends it upfield to Trooper. Trooper moves in, crossing to Devon as he approaches the penalty box. Devon shoots low! But Gruelmaker 28589A dives, catching the ball and bringing it to his chest. Goal kick for Gregoryisgodistan!”

“Gruelmaker 28589A passes it up to Government Advisor Lordborn Godsam, who kicks it upfield to Soccer Jester FunnyMan294. He kicks it to Retired Soldier Commander Lieutenant Warlord McWarlord in the center of the field, just outside the box, and he kicks it over Lancaster’s head to Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Robert Possibe, who is onside this time. He heads it towards the right side, Seaman jumps to catch it! But this time it’s in as the ball goes over his fingertips! 2-2, we are tied in the 60th minute.”

“Gregoryisgodistan is maing their first substitution of the match, removing Retired Soldier Commander Lieutenant Warlord McBurgerKing and bringing in Prune Farmer 913881, officially in the 61st minute. Riojasia to kick off.”

“Peters takes the kick-off,” continued Roger, “He passes to José. José passes to Mutley before running up the field. He passes back to José and joins his teammate. Trooper comes in as the pair approaches, receiving a pass from José. He passes back to Mutley as they enter the penalty box as they are confronted by Government Advisor Lordborn Godsam and Secret Ingelligence Agent [Redacted], Badge Number 98455. Mutley passes to José who clears the ball to Devon. He crosses the ball towards Spingo as he runs into the box behind Government Advisor Lordborn Godsam and Secret Ingelligence Agent [Redacted], Badge Number 98455 but the ball is headed out over the back line by Prune Farmer 913881 . Corner for Riojasia at the 67th minute!” The commentator paused for breath. “Peters is taking the corner and sends it to José inside the box. He receives it with a header and sends it across the goal mouth to Mutley, over the outstretched hands of Gruelmaker 28589A. Mutley taps the ball home with a volley! 3-2 to Riojasia at the 69th minute!” cheered Roger.

Gregoryisgodistan made their second substitution at that point, taking out Government Advisor Lordborn Godsam, replacing him with Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Joseph Hauu, moving from a 4-4-2 to a 3-4-3, hoping to get an equalizer. The Riojasian Head Coach, John Bishop, noted the change in formation and signalled to Seaman that the squad should go on a stronger offensive. It was Gregoryisgodistan’s turn to kick-off again.

“Soccer Jester FunnyMan294 kicks it to Soccer Jester CLOWNPIREPIE, who kicked it up to Prune Farmer 913881, who kicked it up towards the middle to Retired Soldier Commander Lieutenant Warlord McWarlord, then sent it into the box, where Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Joseph Hauu has the ball, Lancaster falls down clutching his left side, only the keeper to beat!” Sportscaster HSYAYTW exclaimed. “But the ref blows the whistle and rules that Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Joseph Hauu fouled Lancaster by elbowing him, stopping the play. Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Joseph Hauu is furious and is screaming at the referee. Out comes the yellow for dissent. He’s still mad and he just shoved the official and that’s going to be a red card. Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Joseph Hauu is sent off meaning he will miss the next match too as well as the rest of this one. Shoving a referee could possibly net him an even greater suspension, but the league office might not announce that for up to 24 hours.”

Not only was Gregoryisgodistan losing 3-2, but they’d have to play with 10 men. At that point, Coach Slave CAUD87147 made his final substitution, taking out Retired Soldier Commander Lieutenant Warlord McWarlord and bringing in Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Henry Itted, a 3-3-3, due to the red card in the 76th minute.

“Well that was a fair bit of drama,” announced Roger. “The free kick is taken by Seaman and he sends the ball far up the field. Peters receives the ball before passing to José. The whole midfield section is pressing on with a hard offensive. José passes to Fernandez who passes the ball forward to Trooper. Trooper passes the ball to Peters who sends it back to José. José kicks it high to Devon who receives it on the head and tapped it into the box where Spingo receives it. He dashes forward, bypassing Secret Police Agent Dominic Button, before coming face to face with Gruelmaker 28589A. He goes forward, feinting to the left but sends a powerful shot to the right at the 85th minute. Gruelmaker 28589A looks completely confused and is nowhere near the ball! The ball is in the bottom-right corner of the net! 4-2 to Riojasia!” he cheered. “Gregoryisgodistan is to kick off with five minutes to go, plus stoppage time.”

“Soccer Jester FunnyMan294 kicks it off to Prune Farmer 913881, up to Death Row Inmate On Parole Until His Team Loses Inmate Number 91488 but headed out by Peters for a throw in the 86th minute,” announced Sportscaster HSYAYTW. “The assistant referee signals for three minutes of stoppage. Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Robert Possibe takes the throw, into the box intended for Soccer Jester FunnyMan294, but it’s easily grabbed by Seaman in the 87th minute. He’ll take his time with this kick.”

“On the contrary, can we make it 5-2 with 6 minutes to go?” asked Roger. “Seaman quickly takes the kick, sending it upfield to Peters. Peters to José who sends a fast pass to Mutley. Mutley sends the ball on towards Devon. He receives the ball and crosses it to Spingo in the box! Only two minutes left on the clock and he shoots again! Gruelmaker 28589A snatches the ball out of the air, shutting down the shot,”

“Gruelmaker 28589A to take the kick quickly, one minute now plus stoppage, and it goes to Soccer Jester FunnyMan294, who passes it to Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Henry Itted but Peters kicks it into the stands. It will be a throw in for Gregoryisgodistan and we’re into stoppage now. Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Henry Itted will take the throw in, 30 seconds into stoppage, and Prune Farmer 913881 kicks it into the box for Lancaster to intercept. Lancaster passes the ball to Yorkie who kicks it up the field. Less than a minute to go now as Secret Ingelligence Agent [Redacted], Badge Number 98455 receives it for Gregoryisgodistan,” exclaims Sportscaster HSYAYTW.

“He kicks it up to midfield, but that’s going to do it. The whistle blows and Riojasia knocks off Gregoryisgodistan 4-2. What a match!” finished Roger. “This has been Roger Fields and Sportscaster HSYAYTW bringing you this match live from United Gordonopia. The final result is Riojasia 4, Gregoryisgodistan 2.

[Aslotten-Behtherborg sa Cesky]

OOC: My entry for BoF XI: Edvin Astøberg. This post will have some sort of match recap added to it later at the bottom.

Självbiografi av Edvin Astøberg

My name is Edvin Gunnar Astøberg. I was born on July 17, 1990, in Calmö General Hospital, Calmö, ABC. My mother is Elsa Ingmårten, who was 28 when I was born, and my father is Olaf Astøberg, who was 30. At the time, my father was working with Calmö AIF as an assistant offensive coach. He assisted mainly with strategy and drawing up some plays, and also working with the strikers on their form, especially their shots. When I came along, it was natural for him to want to groom me in the sport he loved. I got my first ball when I was two. He was a typical Nordic father: very loving and compassionate, yet also very much the person wearing the pants in the relationship. I was never one to question his authority or his judgement. He would also often dole out advice, be it on school, football, or life in general, and his words were always well timed and well placed with the calming tone of his.

When I was five, my father got promoted to chief offensive assistant for Calmö AIF, a move that required him to put in even more hours but not a move that diminished the time he spend with me. I'm still unsure how he managed. Because of his position, he could also now bring me to his job, and until I started school, that was all I did. Being around professional football players from such a young age taught me the value of hard work and dedication. Day in and day out, I saw these men in a lot of pain and yet still keep going, sometimes inadvisably. No matter what challenges stood in their way, they were able to keep going. From that, as an impressionable five year old, I strove to get better and better, slowly building up whatever talents I could.

I joined my first private team at 6 years old. The youth football system has several different levels in ABC. Private teams start the earliest, from 6 years of age, and also end the earliest, at 14. School teams don't start until 10, but go until the end of secondary education at 17. They typically are for those players who are high quality but not top notch, because the top notch players go to the club teams. These teams are run by the professional teams in the country, like Calmö AIF in my case. The first teams are developed for 8 year olds, and then there are subsequent levels after that: Level 1 is for 9-11 year olds, Level 2 for 12-14 year olds, Level 3 for 15-17 year olds, and Level 4 for 18-20 year olds. After that, most teams will either sign you to a professional development contract, cut you, or if you're really good, sign you directly to the reserve squad. This system churns out excellent talent, and the clubs who invest the most in their youth programs typically get the most out of them. Calmö AIF, for example, was not originally a good team until it started putting money into the youth teams. It has slowly risen up to the point where it is today: a Serie Top championship. But even above these club teams there are two more levels: the regional squads and the national teams. The former can be concurrent with club team participation, the latter is not. There are five regional squads: North Bohemia, Central Bohemia, South Bohemia, North Moravia, and South Moravia. They start with 9-10 year olds and have a team for every two year increment after that (11-12, 13-14, 15-16, etc.) up through 22. Unlike the club system, where you can play in levels above your age group, the regional system requires strict adherence to the age rules. This sometimes results in mismatches between the superstars and the average participant, but overall it's not too much of a detriment. The top and most exclusive tier is the national tier. It has only 3 teams and nothing more: U15, U18, and U21. They rely mainly on the clubs and regional teams to develop the players, and they have an extensive scouting system to then find who they want. Practically no player slips through the cracks. The national team is also a gigantic time commitment: you have team functions every weekend and through all holiday breaks, and are expected to stay active every single day of the year. If you're on the national team, there's no such thing as free time.

Outside of football, my family was fairly normal and adjusted. My father, of course, had his job with the team. My mother worked as an executive with an environmental non-profit that focused on preserving the area around Höfsil National Park. I also have a brother, William, who is 3 years younger than me and currently on the U21 team as a center midfielder. We were of fairly modest means, probably closest to a stereotypical middle class description. Due to our football schedules and our funds, we never really went on vacation, but my parents were extraordinary at maximizing the time we had together. Dinner was at a set time every night, and no matter what you were doing, you dropped it and had dinner with the family. Every night, also regardless of workload or having had a bad day, etc., we sat down to do something together like a board game or a puzzle. Because of all of these traditions and the general heaps of love my parents poured on us, my brother and I grew up very close to our parents and still remain in close contact.

---

Britanno 1–2 Åsløtten-Bëðerbørg så Česky

Astøberg 34' (0-1 ABC). Assister: Åsmundsen.
Asborg 58' (1-1). Assister: Smith.
Čalrek 82' (1-2 ABC). Assister: Ruzïck.

The first few minutes of the first ever match in a WCC event did not go especially well for the Nordic Conquerors. From the get go, forward William Čalrek was barraging the Britanno players with various insults and slurs, although cleverly not within earshot of the referees. This unsurprisingly led to some animosity on the field between the squads, and both teams played the first third of the game on edge. It eventually boiled over in the 33rd minute when Čalrek was assessed a yellow card for getting too vocal with one of the Britanno forwards. On the ensuing free kick, which was taken just on the defensive side of midfield, Olle Anderßon was able to intercept the ball and head it forward to Victor Åsmundsen, who after a couple dribbles found Edvin Astøberg streaking upfield. Åsmundsen laid the ball up for him, allowing Astøberg to break away and score the first goal of the tournament.

Čalrek surprisingly quieted down after this, but his vocality was taken up by defenseman Isak Beneš, who especially dug into the Britanno squad after the break. Around 54 or 55 minutes, he got up into the face of the midfielder Smith, who gently pushed Beneš out of his face. Beneš responded by shoving Smith to the ground and bending down to yell in his face, prompting a near immediate red card from the head referee. After Beneš was gone, the defense did not recuperate easily and was not able to get back into form. This led to a Britanno counter attack shortly after Beneš departed, ending in a series of well executed passes and a goal by Asborg.

With Beneš gone, Čalrek took up the reigns of taunting, preferring a more insulting style than Beneš's trash talk. However, he ended up with something to show, scoring in the 82nd minute off a free kick by Ruzïck. He then promptly went up to the Britanno keeper and stuck around long enough to get himself kicked out of the game as well. Ending the game with nine players was not fun, but the squad hung on for 8 minutes and extra time to get the job done and earn their first win in the Baptism of Fire.

[Taijan]

Green Living magazine presents: The Broke, Barefoot Backpacker's Guide to Taijan, Edition XIV

Welcome! If you're reading this, then you've either made it to Taijan or someone you know has made it back; either way, very impressive. If you're just arriving to the island, chances are you're in Coco Bay or St. Christopher, and if you're anywhere else, chances are you were smuggled and are here illegally. No worries, there is no immigration service to come looking for you, but we can't recommend that you apply for a job or attempt to draw benefits, either. In any case, whether it's your first step or your last, you've done a good thing in picking up this guide, and we hope you'll treasure it, hoard it, and refuse to share it with anyone else, regardless of price (we have to make our money somehow, you know).

The Triple-B has been the travel publication of choice for Taijanis and guests alike since its inception in 1975 in the student press office of St. Jermaine University. Currently in its twentieth edition, it has been published by Taijan's premier lifestyle magazine, Green Living, since the fourteenth published in 2001, but setting aside a glossier cover, color illustrations, and wider distribution, Green Living's footprint on the guide has been limited. It is still available only in print, only in Taijan, and it still contains the best, most realistic, most down-to-Earth advice for getting around on the green island.

You'll notice a few things that set this book apart from other guides, such as the Lonely Multiverse and some of Esportivan Sun's publications. First of all, we do not rate on any kind of numeric scale, because in Taijan we believe everything has its value. Second, this is not a tourist's guide by design; we won't tell you where the best view is, or which hotels have the best rates. We encourage you to travel, not to tour, to participate in and experience each place as you visit it, regardless of where you visit, Taijan or abroad. Tourists see only what they want to see; travelers explore a place in its entirety and become a part of it. Finally, the authorship of this guide is a closely-guarded secret, and we accept no kind of gifts in order to ensure our objectivity.

This book begins in Coco Bay and proceeds clockwise around the island to St. Christopher, then Nova Algiers, Nova Tunis, then into the interior at Montem Virid, and then to New Zion and finally St. Ignatius. This route was selected for simplicity's sake, and we encourage you to deviate from it and to let your own Taijan trip be delineated by what you feel, not by a certain itinerary. Intercity travel in Taijan is easy and cheap, and you will have no difficulty getting back for your flight home--that is, if you want to.

Bon Voyage,
Kimberly Brock
Travel Editor, Green Living Magazine

[Marcos Dynamite]

Welcome to Dino-Me-Tay Daily! As many Dynomitians know by now, our girls are in Astograth for the opening rounds of the Baptism of Fire tourney. After a long 90 minute slugfest, the Firecrackers drew Myeeria 1-1, giving us our first international point. After Brianna allowed a goal in the 26th minute, one that was not her fault as it took a weird hop off a wandering toad that most commentators of the match were talking about as it had been a rather boring affair until that point.

Just before half-time, (43rd minute) Ashley T. snuck past a Myeerian defender, placing a well timed and perfectly placed lobbed pass from Rene into the left corner; tying the game at 1 all.

Unfortunately for the Firecrackers, no matter what set plays or end runs or even sending in additional attackers late; they couldn't crack the Myeerian backline.

Up next, the Firecrackers will face Picts, who lost 1-0 to Crystal Empire. A win for the Firecrackers would put Picts on the ropes, while a loss would probably put Marcos Dynamite in must-win territory for their third game.
_________________________________________
BACK IN MARCOS DYNAMITE-

Sir, the operatives are in place and the cover story is holding up to scrutiny.

Excellent. Plan Zeta Alpha is going as planned, operative 751. Proceed to phase 2.

[Furellum]

Fyodor felt like he was floating, rising slowly to the surface of a dark cold pool. Then he broke the surface, and his eyes opened. He was lying on a bed in a cool room, lit only by a soft lantern in the corner. Beside his bed somebody was sitting, and turning his head he recognised Constable Iliescu. "What happened?" asked Fyodor. Illiescu looked at him and smiled. "You're back with us then. I did wonder if we'd lost you."

Fyodor struggled to sit upright. It as an effort, and Iliescu had to help him. Once he was comfortably propped up, he asked his question again. "What happened?"
"You were shot. Luckily for you the bolt hit your amour. It was still lodged in the metal when we found you. Looks like you took a tumble of the roof."
"I remember. I heard a noise. There was someone…on the roof. I climbed up to stop him, and then I fell backwards. That's the last thing I remember."
Iliescu nodded. "We think you hit your head pretty hard on the pavement. You were lying there all night before a civilian found you and summoned us. We took you here."
Fyodor looked around the room. It didn't seem familiar to him. "Where is here?" he asked.
"The Hospital of St. Luke on Small Street. You've been here for the last couple of days. We've been taken turns sitting here when we're not on duty."
Fyodor nodded. There was no need to say anything. Watchmen watched out for one another.

"The Captain wanted to speak to you. I'll go get him." Iliescu stepped out of the room. It wouldn't take him long. Small Street was only around the corner from the Mournlight Watch house. Sure enough, twenty minutes later Captain Kohut entered the room. "Constable Iosef, it's good to see you awake."
"Thankyou sir." Replied Fyodor, managing a weak salute.
"Relax. There's no need to be formal." said the Captain, taking a seat. "But," the old Wolf added, "There is something we need to talk about."
He held out his paw. The Captain was holding a crossbow bolt with a flattened head. "This is what we found sticking into you. You're very lucky it didn't pierce the armour completely. Now, I need to know exactly what happened."
Fyodor told him everything he could remember. At the end, the Captain sat there stroking his chin. "You didn't get a good look at the assailant then?"
"No, he had a mask on."
"A pity." replied the Captain, "I was hoping for a lead. You see Constable, there is more to this than just you. I'm sure you've heard of Wally Vasile."
Fyodor nodded. Everyone knew that Walter "Wally" Vasile was the head of the biggest organised crime syndicate in Furellum. The Watch had been after him for years, but could never seem to find enough proof to link Vasile to any thing illegal.
"Last night an attempt was made on Vasile's life. The bolt we recovered was identical to the one shot at you."

"So, you think I surprised the assassin. That's whey he didn't hesitate to shoot me."
The Captain looked grim. "This is moor than just an assassin loose in the city. We've been hearing whispers of a new group in town. No one knows who they are, but they don't seem afraid to go up against the most powerful criminal figure in the country."
"Do you think there's going to be trouble then, sir?"
"I know so Constable. Vasile came to the Watch for help in catching this assassin. A man like that doesn't go to the police lightly. He gets his own men to deliver his own justice. Vasile is scared, and if he's scared, we should all be too."



Fyodor shook his head, trying to clear the memory. It wouldn't do to dwell on that now. He needed to focus on football. Furellum had managed a narrow win over the oddly named Above Your Pay Grade, but there was still plenty to do. Eleazar Szczelaszczyk had come through for Furellum with two goals, with Moisey Vaduva contributing the final and deciding goal. The next match would be against Alitaba, a team similar to Furellum. Both teams focused heavily on defensive play, and Alitaba had had a poor showing in the Copa Rushmori, similar to Furellum's own terrible performance in the AOCAF. If Furellum were to pull off a win here, then Fyodor as captain would need to be focused. He could't dwell on the past, not now. Certainly not on that chapter of his life. Better to keep it under lock and key. So that it couldn't hurt him again.

[Welsh Cowboy]

OOC: Please consider this my entry for the BoF XI, although this series will go on.

The Journey I've Been On
The Story of Alec Vordeau: Part I

Alec didn't think a bed had ever felt softer or so comfortable. He sunk down into the mattress, ready to forget all the exertion and fatigue of the day; he had never thought that the Baptism of Fire would ignite such flames, literally, in his calves.

His eyes were just about to finally close when the phone next to his bed rang. For several seconds, he ignored it, hoping it was just a bad dream, knowing that there was nobody that needed to talk to him at 12:45 in the morning, and that even if they did, he had no interest in obliging them.

But eventually, he was wide awake again, and so he decided he might as well pick up the phone. He rolled over groggily and lifted the receiver to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, good morning Alec," said an all-too familiar, cheery voice.

"James? What are you doing calling me at such a crazy time? Go to bed."

"Come on, Alec, just listen to what I have to say."

"Make it quick."

"I need you to tell me your life story."

Alec was silent for several seconds. He wasn't sure he had heard James correctly. It was almost one o'clock in the morning. His life story?

"Why could you possibly need me to do that? Did you quit your job at the Sports Register and become some sort of author?"

"No, no, Alec. This is for the Register. You see, I'm actually here on assignment in Astograth, covering the BoF. Nice win today, by the way."

"Whatever. James, you need to explain yourself quickly."

"OK, so my editor has told me that I need to write some sort of "special piece" while on assignment. Other writers are doing the match reports, but I am trying to dig a bit deeper than that. So I wanted to write about you. Since, you know, we're friends."

"I'm thinking more like acquaintances. Now I'll call you back later."

"You can't do that! I need a preliminary idea by 6:00 am. Please Alec?"

Alec groaned, and fell back into bed.

"Where do you want me to start?"

-------------

The delicious aroma of cooked ham had wafted out of the small farmhouse and had reached the nose of the young boy in the fields, who had been fixing the fence that surrounded the family's small vegetable garden. He immediately forgot his work, forgot how angry his Aunt Anita would surely be that he had dirt all over his suspenders and flannel shirt, forgot to take off his dusty boots. The boy, who was only eight, had not eaten lunch, and so his stomach seemed to leap out of him, begging to be fed.

He clumsily threw open the front door, letting it slam behind him. He didn't turn to enter the bathroom, but instead ran towards the kitchen. Once there, he saw four figures sitting around the table, who all turned and looked at him in the doorway. Aunt Anita spoke first.

"Alec, have you lost your mind? You know you're not supposed to come into the kitchen without changing into clean clothes. And goodness me! You even have the courage to bring your grimy boots into the house!" She would have gone on, if the man sitting next to her hadn't placed his hand on her arm.

"Sit down, son," said Uncle Ben, a man who when compared to his wife, looked to be a mountain sitting next to an anthill. His skin was rough and tanned from working in the fields his entire life.

Alec didn't like the tone of the conversation, but he took the open seat between his mother and father, the other two figures at the table. His mother had evidently just been crying, for her eyes were red and she could not look at the other three. His father looked composed, but it was evident that bad news was about to be delivered.

"Alec, do you know how long we've lived with your aunt and uncle?"

"Forever, right, daddy?"

The innocence in the voice must have struck something deep inside his mom, for she immediately got up and left the room, sobs beginning to break out. Aunt Anita stood up and left to follow her, leaving Alec with his two closest male relatives.

"No, not forever, Alec, but for as long as you can probably remember," said his father.

"Why do you care, daddy? Did I do something wrong?"

"Not at all, Alec. But there's something I have to tell you."

Here he looked over at Uncle Ben, hesitant and sheepish to continue. Ben nodded discreetly at him and made a small movement with his fingers indicating that he should "just do it."

"Alec, we'll be leaving the farm."

It was here that Alec finally realized how enormous this talk was. He stopped listening after those words, trying to understand exactly what they meant to him. He didn't know anything else than this farm. This was where he lived. This was his HOME. Surely he couldn't leave it? That would be like ripping away his soul, as he heard the preacher talk about every Sunday.

The weight of the words prevented him from listening to his dad anymore. He didn't hear the explanation, that his father had found an automobile mechanic's job just south of New Swansea, that it was good for the family, that he'd have other kids closer than half a mile to play with, that in the city, they even had organized football teams. He didn't hear that of course they could come back and see Uncle Ben and Aunt Anita, and that maybe he could even spend some summers back on the farm, since he loved it so much. He missed that it was time for his mom and dad to live on their own, that this was what his father had been waiting for for so long: a break.

Alec didn't hear these things because he couldn't. He couldn't do it, because the tears streaming down his face had evidently closed his ears too.

On Tuesday, just three days later, the family left the farm. Alec was sitting in the backseat, but he was only there in body, not in spirit.

------

The line went quiet. James had enough of an idea to present to his editor, so he politely hung up and let his friend sleep.

---

The Sports Register

Roaring Dragons Demolish Opponent to Start BoF Campaign

It was almost a perfect start for the Welsh Cowboy national football team, as they won their first-ever international match, against Estado Livre, 4-1.

The Dragons began their Baptism of Fire with a match at The Enclave in Antiguoko, Astograth against Estado Livre, a mysterious team who has not revealed who exactly is on their squad. Welsh Cowboy dominated the designated home team, keeping 67% of possession, and having 10 shots on goal, compared to just 3 for Estado Livre, as well as a domination of the score line, winning 4-1.

Matthew Guval scored the first international goal for Welsh Cowboy in just the 4th minute. Left winger Sergio Calabana took the ball wide, eluding several defenders, before cutting the ball back in about four yards from the goal line, on the edge of the box. He chipped a ball into the box, which found the head of defensive midfielder Lucas Burns around eight yards out. His header was deflected away by the keeper, but it fell to the feet of Guval inside the six-yard box; he promptly buried it into the back of the net, and the Roaring Dragons led 1-0 after just the 4th minute.

The lead was widened in the 23rd minute, when a powerful shot from 20 yards out by Guval led to a Welsh Cowboy corner. Right winger Thomas Kramer took the corner, swinging a fantastic ball in that found the head of Anders Kleppner, a tough-nosed, fierce defensive midfielder who was not widely seen as a scoring threat for the Dragons. However, on this occasion, his header blazed past the Estado Livre goalkeeper, giving Welsh Cowboy a 2-goal advantage.

Before halftime, the Roaring Dragons added another goal, this one coming on a fantastic combination between several players. Captain Alec Vordeau, the most potent goalscorer for the team, took a ball about twenty yards out with his back to goal and laid off a ball for a streaking Lucas Burns. Burns played it into Guval, who turned, but instead of shooting from 16 yards out, played a quick through ball for Burns. Burns converted beautifully, sliding the ball into the bottom corner. Welsh Cowboy took a 3-0 lead into halftime.

In the 51st minute, Alec Vordeau launched a blistering counterattack, taking a ball from the back four up the field, tearing past several defenders, leaving him with just one defender between him and the keeper. Instead of taking on the defender himself, though, he laid off a ball for Thomas Kramer, who reached the ball about 20 yards from the goal. The keeper had come out to meet him, but he flipped the ball over him and tapped the follow-up in, adding another to the tally.

Although Estado Livre got one goal back in the 82nd minute on a deflected shot from 22 yards out ,Welsh Cowboy right back Jean Bapun garnered a yellow card for a reckless tackle on an Estado Livre midfielder, and Alec Vordeau was not able to get on the scoresheet (although he set up at least one goal), Welsh Cowboy dominated the entire course of events throughout the match.

"We looked good. Obviously, it's just one game, but we will be happy with this performance every day," said manager George Pingrell.

Welsh Cowboy will face Alkoul next.

Match Summary:
'4: GOAL M. Guval (Welsh Cowboy) (1-0 WC)
'23: GOAL A. Kleppner (Welsh Cowboy) (2-0 WC)
'44: GOAL L. Burns (Welsh Cowboy) (3-0 WC)
'51: GOAL T. Kramer (Welsh Cowboy) (4-0 WC)
'62: YC J. Bapun (Welsh Cowboy)
'82: GOAL UNKNOWN (Estado Livre) (4-1 WC)

GK W. Jackson
LB B. Olsart
LCB G. Bagen
RCB P. Wharton
RB J. Bapun Yellow Card '62
LDM A. Kleppner GOAL '23 OFF (P. Teller '56)
RDM L. Burns GOAL '44
LM S. Calabana OFF (M. Belazzeni '66)
CAM A. Vordeau [C]
RM T. Kramer GOAL '51 OFF (F. Kafleck '76)
ST M. Guval GOAL '4

GK R. Ludebank
GK R. Dalibsky
DF J. Aparell
DF L. Culverton
DF J. Thibret
MF M. Belazzeni ON (S. Calabana '66)
MF F. Kafleck ON (T. Kramer '76)
MF K. Parkell
MF D. Shopcliffe
MF P. Teller ON (A. Kleppner '56
ST J. Clarence
ST N. Ertzinghoff

[San Jose Guayabal]

Guayabal Starts the BoF in Awesome way!

SJG, gave a lesson of good play, rival Tatras, with a 2-1 in favor of us, which was an element of delirium for SJG 16'000 fans who were of a game, which is most important victory in its history SJG, and the whole nation expects no coincidence and always play with balls, soul and heart in the game.

With a good start strong with a goal by Sean Fraser in the 4th minute of play, gave confidence to the team very many, but they would not stay that way, as the 25th minute of play, after a corner kick, the captain Matias Passarelli increases to an early 2-0, but before half time, the referee annulled a goal from Jonathan Faña, which had been the 3-0.

But starting the second half, Tatras A player scored in the 47th minute of play, but after that, there was a game with almost no equipment on the part of both, by a very defensive on the part of Tatras, which SJG prevented that would increase the bill.

SJG 2-1 Tatras.
4 'Goal SJG: Fraser.
25 'Goal SJG: Passarelli
47 'Goal TAT: Unknown.

[San Jose Guayabal]

The second Game

After the 2-1 victory for us against Tatras, the wards of Milos Miljanic not relax on the laurels of victory, indeed, are hungry for victory and history, as the rival today, Crystal Ponies will not easy and prepare well to raze their defense.

The mission is one, win and consolidate at the top of Group A (currently shared between us and Crystal Ponies), according to William Maldonado, is to win and to please God and spectators.

-Maldonado: We give glory and honor to Almighty God for this victory, which he dedicated to him, and we thank the public for their continued support with their drums, and sirens. But that step, now go for the win and lay leadership and strength to qualify for the next round, we have to win and be strong to attack and kill the game faster and also further improve the defense.

All SJG expects victory against Crystal Ponies and strengthen the leadership of the group A of BoF 53 Here is the starting lineup for the game against Crystal Ponies, in which two changes will be made, and Ruslan Molodetsov by Henry Hernández and Mártir Ramírez by Juan Lazo.

GK: Ruslan Molodetsov
DF: Facundo Simioli
DF: Matias Passarelli
DF: Augustine Jibrin
MF: Mártir Ramirez
MF: William Maldonado
MF: Allan Fernandez
MF: Rudy Valencia
FW: Gonzalo Mazzia
FW: Jonathan Faña
FW: Sean Fraser

Let's Go SJG, You'll never walk alone!

[Tarrigan]

LEAD PASS: A Tarrigi Premiership footballing blog
MD1 Recap: Late Heroics save 10-man Tarrigis, 2-1.
Written by: ProjectCrossfire

Match Events
28' - GOAL, Roguefort (1, header). Assisted by St. Claire (1, corner kick)
46' - SUB, Laviolette on for Womacks.
55' - YELLOW CARD, J. Ivers (1, Dissent)
61' - GOAL, Safaari. PK.
61' - RED CARD, Laviolette (1, Denied Clear Scoring Attempt)
88' - GOAL, Wood (1, Left foot). Assisted by Richardson (1, cross)
89' - YELLOW CARD, Wood (1, Time wasting)

"We didn't freak out. We accepted the ruling, and held our lines for the rest of the game." were the words of Manager Mitch Connolly when asked about Laviolette's red card. He had Jarrett Ivers, who was already sitting on a weak weak weak yellow card, slide out of the sweeper position, and onto the right wing. Jarrett faced some trouble, trying to keep up with his man, but all in all, the end of the match was not too troubling for them.

"The ruling was fair. Clearly, I swept his leg out from under him on a breakaway while he was in the box. It was a dumb play by me, and I hurt the team, even though we won." Laviolette said, as he sat in his locker cube. He'll be suspended from the next match, and possibly more, depending on Connolly's review of the play.

However, that's not to say Connolly wasn't in a great mood after the game. He handed the match ball to Blake Wood, citing the reason of "stealing two points in the face of adversity."

One for the Future: Blake Wood

With today's heroics, we'll feature Blake Wood as our first "One for the Future" article. We have five of these to run, so check back tomorrow for another!

Blake Wood has become a fixture at Saylorsburg, starting 45 of the 47 games in his first season. The fans absolutely love him, and he absolutely loves the fans! Just look at his reaction after he scored a goal today. He jumped over the sideline boards, and up into the stands to bang on the drums of the 300 Tarrigis who traveled to United Gordontopia.

In his 50 games played, he's received only three yellow cards, while scoring nine goals. Usually he takes long free kicks at Saylorsburg, whipping the ball into the box. He also is the guy that the media goes to for quotes, as he's quite talkative.

I had the opportunity to sit down with Blake after the game, as I caught him going into the same jazz club I was directed to (no, I wasn't stalking him).

Lead Pass: Blake, you're the big damn hero today. Has anyone said they'll buy you a beer tonight?
Blake Wood: Hah, Mitch said no drinking while we're out here. 'Focus on the pitch' he says. (pause) Buuuuut he also said he'd buy the first round once we got back to Cantwell [where the Tarrigi HQ is located].
LP: Who drove you to play football, especially throughout your academy days?
BW: My mother. She drove me to everything, especially the early Saturday morning practices. You know, the ones where you practically are asleep on the pitch, and the coach yells at you. Those ones.
LP: They say you can tell a lot about a person just by how they respond to questions. Mind playing some Initial Reaction for us?
BW: Sure, why not.
LP: Cool, thanks. First word: Goal
BW: Celebration.
LP: Silverware.
BP: Dream.
LP: Football.
BP: Life.
LP: Finally, Mitch Connolly.
BW: (laughs) Slave driver.

[Southwick]

Why They Play: Part V (Fraternus)

"Here we are at the start of Southwick's Baptism of Fire campaign. It is a beautiful day here in Deska as we await the refereee for the kickoff of Southwick vs the Paradystopi Lymryk Isles." Ris and Grav stood in the press box far above the field. It was a cool day, and both teams looked pumped and ready to go.

"For Southwick, the starters will be Alexander in goal, Nobles, Morgan, Cooper, and Shapiro in the back, Groves, Paredes, Raines, and Mesa in the midfield, and Locklear and Monson up front."

"For Lymryk, we have Farquharson in goal, Thatcher, Longtail... what kind of a name is Longtail?" Ris was puzzled by the naming customs of the Pteronurians in the Lymryk Isles.

Grav flipped through the match preview he had acquired for the game. "Looks like he is a Pteronurian."

"A what?" asked Ris.

"Ptero-nurian. They are non-human animals who play associationball with their heads."

"Their heads? Is that why that one is wearing a helmet?"

"I guess so Ris," said Grav. He had no idea what a Pteronurian was, but thought they looked kind of like otters.

"Well then, Longtail, Squinty, Talbot, and Thatcher in the back, Flappy, Oldwoodgate, Squealsalot, Hooktooth, and Bostick in the middle, and Wobbly up front," said Ris chuckling. "They almost sound like cartoon characters from the studio lots in Dalton."

"Indeed they do," said Grav. He'd always wanted to go into film production and had actually briefly studied it at Southwick University before deciding on television. "Maybe I could bring them back to Southwick to make a film," he thought. "Otters playing associationball. That'd probably be a big hit."

"And here are the teams now," announced Ris, disrupting Grav's train of thought. "There are the captains, Shapiro and Hooktooth, exchaning pennants."

"An interesting trade," said Grav, noting the bewilderment of the Southwick captain when seeing his counterpart for the first time. "Looks like even the national team players didn't know what these Pteronurians looked like."

Shapiro ran back into the field, ready for kickoff. "Well boys, apparently these terranuriens are pretty good at footy," he said, mangling the species name. "But let's show them how Southwick plays."

Steve Groves felt the gold cross around his neck. Tracing its contours, he readied himself for the upcoming game. Then, the referee blew the whistle and it was time to go.

4 years ago

The train honked its horn. Soldiers huddled with their loved ones, shielding themselves from the driving rain.

"All aboard," said the conductor. His train would be taking these men from the city to the base at Towson. From there, they would be responsible for putting down the rebellion by the dreaded Gladii.

Steve watched his mother hug his brother. Only nineteen, Matthew had been drafted to fight off a threat in the southeast. Now twenty-one, he had re-enlisted to fight off a renewed attack by separatists from the same group. As he was sixteen, Steve had gotten out of that duty.

Matthew turned to face his brother. "I've got something for you," he said. He reached around in a pocket and found what he was searching for. He pulled out a gold necklace. On the chain was a cross, plated with gold leaf.

"I took it off of a rebel that we found in the forest. You can remember me by this while I am away."

Matthew handed him the necklace. Steve took it, feeling its cold, wet metal. It was smooth, yet it felt rough in a few patches, as if something had dried there and been scratched off.

Matthew turned back to his parents. "I guess I better go kill some Gladii, eh? I love you guys."

Then, he was gone. Disappeared into a crowd of soldiers clambering onto the train. The Groves strained their necks, looking for him, in a window or a doorway. Soldiers stuck their heads out of the window, waving goodbye. But Matthew was nowhere to be found. The train chugged away, crowds cheering and crying. Car by car went by, full of men on their way to the front. And then, they were gone.

Four months later, a man showed up at their door. Dressed in all-black, he showed them his badge as a member of the Military Police. Then, he told them why he was there.

The next few weeks were a blur. Funerals, eulogies, wakes. Fifteen men had gone down on that helicopter. Fifteen good men. Steve heard the same words, saw the same scene many times over those weeks. Those weeks showed him what the world really was. A land of pompous, self-aggrandizing blowhards where the men who did the work got hurt. The men who truly served got hurt. The men who truly loved got hurt. The phonies who sent those men to their deaths, they were fine.

Ever since that day, Matthew had worn the necklace. To remind him of his brother. While Steve and Matthew weren't extremely close, they got along well. Plus, Matthew was dead, and this was all he had to remember him by.

Now, as the game started, Steve reflected for a second on his past. And in that moment, he decided that he would win this tournament for his brother.

[Polkopia]

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Polkopian National News brought to you by Mr. Boris Valafeev

Original Translation

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Polkopia Starts BoF With 4-0 Win

The Polkopian National Football Team played their first game in the Baptism of Fire today, versing the team from Theaoie. Expectations were high for the Polkopian team, and the final result of 4-0 was reassured Polkopian fans everywhere of the team's capability.

The first goal, scored by Polkopian striker Rostislav Kantrisov, was a result from a beautiful cross from Roman Maldov. Maldov dribbled up the left side of the pitch, showing some excellent technical skills with the ball until he crossed it, where Kantrisov managed to score with a beautiful header. The keeper had no chance. Goals two and three were scored by attacking midfielder Aleksandr Krenkov, and forward Immanuil Serevo respectively, both of them managing a breakthrough from the Theaoien defense. The first half ended with Polkopia ahead 3-0. Within minutes, the Polkopian team managed another dangerous attack, led by Immanuil Serevo, but the attack failed, with Serevo hitting the crossbar. Serevo redeemed himself at the 58th minute, however, as a longshot from thirty yards out gave Polkopia an even bigger advantage. The game ended in a 4-0 win for Polkopia.

Coach Spartak Stenin praised the team for their effort showed on the pitch today, and he looks forward to the Polkopian Team's future in the Baptism of Fire. For now, coach Stenin has decided to keep in Polkopia's starting lineup for the game, as he is sure that a win here will heavily boost the Polkopian Team's morale, as well as Polkopia's rank in the group stages, both of which Polkopia needs if they are to make it out of the group stages.

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Leave A Comment Below

Massia4: good job polkopia!


torino2: gud luck polkopia! u cn do it!


SwaqYoloSir: Serevooooooo!


MasterPogo: We can advance from the group stages if we play like we played here. Very impressive show from the Polkopians today. Hopefully we can keep this up throughout the tournament.


MileyVMA4U: A few years ago, two parents went out for dinner. A few hours later, the babysitter was calling to ask if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids' room. The father said, "Take the kids and get out of the house. We'll call the police, we don't have a clown statue." The "clown statue" is really a killer that escaped from jail. If you don't repost this letter 10 times .... (Read More)

[Alkoul]

Coach
Daniel Mugs At age 39 he retired from the Alkoul Soccer League after only seven seasons, mostly in part due to his frequency of getting injured. After leading Alkoul City Fc to the ASL league title three years in a row he is back to hopefully lead Alkoul to another title, the first CCAF Cup regional title.

Uniforms
TBA


Roster
Goalies
2 Jeff Fisher
3 Loren Dulpe

Midfielders
5 Thom Gails
7 Seth Louis
9 Nicholos Carloe'
11 Andrew Mer'
15 Flipe' Hamms

Defenders
6 Duane Lope
8 Zach Thomlin
10 George Hues
4 Brandon Kule
1 Luke Orange

Forwards
12 Ceasar Fik
13 Jamie Per'loan
17 Mark Stumbles
19 Quin Quins
22 Mike Throne

Formation
1-2-4-4


RP permissions
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod scoring events Y
RP injuries to my players Y (with in reason)
Godmod injuries to my players Y (with in reason)
Hand out yellow cards to my players Y (max 3)
Hand out red cards to my players Y (max 2)
Godmod other events Y