In this thread, I want you to explain what drew you towards, or drove you from religion. Why you hold the beliefs you hold, how you deal with criticism, and what you specifically believe in a religious sense. If you don't have any religious beliefs, explain why. I'll start off.
I was born into a very Fundamentalist Christian household. To be specific, Assemblies of God. The driving force behind my whole family, specifically my Paternal Grandmother and my mom, was their faith in Jesus. As far back as I can remember, my mother, and to a lesser extent my father, instilled in me the idea that God was calling me to be a minister. Of course I believed them. This went on for about 14 years. Then, for reasons I won't go into, it stopped. One of the main problems was drugs, though. Not on my part, but my parents. They soon decided to get a divorce. This started a downward spiral that drove my mother, brother and I into some dark places. Very dark. It was during this dark time my brother and I started going to a Southern Baptist church. The youth group was amazing to say the least, and was a deciding factor on me continuing down the road to ministry. I went on mission trips near and far, attended church regularly, and began to study the Bible religiously (pun intended). Thus arose the problem.
While studying the Bible, I also started to read philosophical books. While searching the Philosophy section of the library, I happened upon a book titled " Why I Am Not a Christian" by the infamous Bertrand Russell. I almost put it back on the shelf, but curiosity got the better of me. This book literally changed the way I looked at life. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I began to fervently study the Bible with a new zeal, but it was to no avail. I had noticed some non-sequiturs and morally questionable acts before, but now it seemed there were many more. I began to read other secular books, "How Science Disproves God" and "Letter to a Christian Nation" just to name a few. I couldn't hide it any longer, I had lost my faith. This was a problem, for I had set out to become a minister. I was used to breaking down any problems I had logically, and the worst thing I could do in my mind was to announce to everybody I had ceased to believe. I continued and am continuing my ministerial classes, mostly because they are paid for and I still have a legitimate interest in the Bible and religions in general. But, to wrap this all up, I lost my faith in god due to their being no demonstrable, empirical scientific evidence to point to the existence to a deity or deities. I have a very logical, rational mind. My sanity AND my faith could not reside together. I chose to keep my sanity. I really do want to believe, I just see no point in lying to myself in the face of so much evidence.
EDIT: Let me delve a little deeper. I am a very loose Deist. I follow the teachings of Siddhartha Gautama, I most definitely believe in Karma, and I see the universe as a giant clock. If one gear ceases to function properly, the whole clock becomes unstable, and the problem finds its way back to the faulty gear. If you have any further questions, don't hesitate to ask.
