Elfen High 2: Gotterdammerung

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Subtitle: "And holy shit what the fuck did I just type?"


2030.

It was a good year, from all set up. Humanity just kept advancing and things, from what could be seen, just kept getting better. Daisuke pulled himself out from underneath his car. Well, his robotic form did- he largely had linked himself up to the various Daisukebots flying around, many of them looking exactly as he did, except with some blemishes removed and fixed.

Daisuke turned his head a full 360, looking around his garage. Ah, what a garage this was. Suck it, Microsoft. Daisuke took great pleasure in the sheer amount of items and equipment here, as well as the coaches, beds and soda machines. The garage/apartment just screamed "Fucking punk", which he took some measure of pride in.

But he paused. He had just heard something.

A sudden thud.

---

Thud.

Crowley suddenly paused, hearing it too. "Did you feel that?" he asked the succubus underneath him.

"Heard what?" she questioned.

"Interesting." Crowley said simply, getting off. "I need to greet the new class. I'll investigate it later."

He started to walk down the hallway, moving down to see the auditorium/lunchroom and the several students and teachers there, looking up at him. Crowley almost laughed. Amazing. Even after all the things the world kept thinking about them, calling him a monster (a rather debatable thing, but they had points), there were always students here and always teachers.

He grabbed the mike tightly in one hand. "Welcome, welcome." he said with a smile, looking out at the crowd. "This-" he gestured, "is Elfen fucking High. And I am your host, Aleister fucking Crowley. This is an old place. It can be a good place, it can be a bad place. It can be...well, it can be whatever you want to make it." he admitted. "You decide. You decide your path here, as to whether this place works for you or not. But once you enter..." he gave a brief and maniacal laugh, as well as a dashing grin. "Well, let's just say leaving can be less than fun.

"You all recieved GPSes to guide your way around this school. By the way, I built this school with my bare hands when I killed an ungodly powerful monster from beyond reality and decide that we could recycle it. Just a useful piece of fact, in case you consider talking back to me.

"Let me tell you what this place is. This is Elfen High, where dreams can come true, and so can nightmares. This is Elfen High, where sanity is to be laughed at and pitied for the abuse it has been through. This is Elfen High, and you're all Elfen Highers now. This school can be a lot more than a school- it can be the most important years of your life. I will try my dammed hardest not to make them your last ones." he swore. "But welcome the fuck in. For you older ones? Welcome the fuck back."

Crowley put the mike back, but remembered something. He picked it back up. "Also, don't attack the rabbits. They've been moving out of a monarchy and are becoming a republic now, but so far their civil war has been rather interesting and we aren't totally sure which factions are on our side. Politics are a bitch, you know?"

---

Calliel sat in the tables with Ivy and his now chronologically ten year old son, but biologically fifteen year old son Richard. "It is rather interesting to be back here, yes?" he asked his wife, looking around awkwardly. "Odd, really. I liked Crowley's speech, very motivating. I wish he didn't use such abusive language, but the headmaster seems to follow his own morals."

Daisuke chuckled, walking over to Calliel. "You have no idea on that." he laughed. "Looking forward to your son's year here?" he asked the two of them, sitting down.

Calliel gave a nod. "Of course. I believe Richard should acquint himself with human culture."

Daisuke extended a hand to Richard. Calliel and Richard exchanged panicked looks. Calliel turned to Ivy. "We shake, yes?"

Daisuke nodded. He was familiar with angels. "Yes, you shake."

Richard proceeded to vibrate rapidly in his spot before Daisuke took the hand away. "Well, I'm sure he'll figure it out." he said with a chuckle. "Welcome back to Elfen High."

[Nude East Ireland]

Timothy Crowley's Dorm

Tim awoke, his eyes flickering as he did. Slowly, he raised himself up from his bed, and took a moment for his eyes to adjust. When he looked around, he noticed three women in his bed. He sighed, trying to remember their names. As he was busy with that, he made his way towards the kitchen area, and he fell into one of the seats. He waited a moment to readjust, and then looked around the room.

"Rasputin," he said into the emptiness.

Slowly, a massive snake slithered out of one of the cabinets, and made its way onto the table. It curled up and laid its head on Tim's arm. Tim pulled his arm out and began to stroke the beast's head and neck.

"Have fun lasssssssst night?" Rasputin asked, happy to receive attention from his master.

Tim shrugged. "I suppose so, Rasputin."

There was a moment of silence. Tim snapped, and a cigarette appeared in his free hand, which he used to smoke. Rasputin glanced at the women on the bed.

"Can I eat them?" he asked. Tim stared at the beast.

"What?" Rasputin asked. "I can't live on that vegetarian crap for my entire life."

"I let you get some rabbits once-in-a-while. And what about that deer I 'ported in here?"

"That wassssss weeksssssssss ago," the snake replied. Tim puffed smoke into the snake's face, causing it to cough and hack.

"Sorry," the young magician said.

"Fuck you," Rasputin snapped.

Tim finished off the cigarette, and tossed it aside. Rasputin's tongue shot out, grabbing the bud and pulling it into the snake's mouth. He swallowed it, and let out a sigh. Tim continued to pet Rasputin, as his senses finished coming back to him.

---

Unknown Location

"Where the Hell am I?" Sir Anton Crowley asked.

"Silence, impure scum!" yelled the interrogator, who proceeded to slap a red-hot poker into Anton's eyes. The headmaster let out a cry of shear pain. It was so strong that the cement floor cracked. The interrogator pulled the poker away, and turned to the Colonel that stood in the shadows.

"Mr. Crowley," the Colonel said, as he approached Anton. "Do you know how to harness magic?"

"What?" Anton asked. "Tell me who you are!"

He couldn't see. Burnt flesh and skin blocked his path, and his eyes were in a similar state. They began to heal, but much more slowly than usual. He was handicapped for some reason, and his powers weren't as strong. Why was that? He couldn't begin to imagine.

The Colonel sighed. "Vell then, Mr. Crowley, I suppose I vill have to continue this torture until you can tell me information..."

"No, don't you dare touch me!" he yelled. "Aleister will come for me! Damien will come for me! Daisuke will- AHHHHHH!"

The Colonel removed his hand from Anton's chest, where he had used a blast of heat to burn a black handprint into the headmaster.

"I vill break you, Mr. Crowley. Oh, yes, I vill."

[Astrolinium]

Caspian Lawrence sat at a table. He was wearing his trademark warm weather ensemble - boots, trousers, suspenders, a white, short-sleeved dress shirt, and a bow tie. Here was someone who was more or less obsessed with a show now nearly 70 years old, though he had missed basically most of its run - this temporal bullshit was, frankly, bullshit. Of course, Caspian was new here. Several months ago, he'd washed up on the English seaside and been taken in by Wallace and Fatima, who were a middle-aged infertile couple. There had been all sorts of drama with the local social services, of course - he wasn't theirs, and so he must belong to somebody else - but that had been resolved when he'd proved that he was from 50 years ago. So he'd been deemed something of a freak and sent to Elfen High.

This was his first day at the school, and he thought he might enjoy it here. This Crowley fellow didn't seem like other headmasters, and he thought the thing with the rabbits - which surely couldn't be true - was quite whimsical indeed. He would have to find some of these rabbits and hope they were friendly. Though, admittedly, Caspian had never met an unfriendly rabbit. He laughed. "Little bunnies probably don't do aught but hop about and eat some clover, though where inside a school they'd get clover - but, of course, they must live outside, on the grounds, surely bunnies couldn't sustain a republic (thought bunnies even having government is quite silly indeed, mind) indoors," he wondered aloud. He quickly caught himself doing so, however, and largely hoped nobody would notice.

---

Eric Manischewitz was not at Crowley's speech. No, he was currently in his office, which was connected to the Elfen High music room, and he was largely naked, except for some delightfully revealing pink underpants. He was, in fact, laying on top of his desk, grinding against his husband, Parnell, who was laying on top of him and wearing even fewer clothes. Eric had his arms wrapped around Parnell, who was currently in the process of giving Gay Eric a hickey on his neck. Eric moaned as he felt teeth brush lightly against his flesh and heard Parnell grunt. "Mmm, you like that, don't you, baby?"

The following section has been censored from the television release, but is available on the DVD and Blu-Ray special extended editions.

Having just finished the act of making love, Eric and Parnell proceeded to dress in a mix and match of each other's clothes - they had, respectfully, traded underwear, socks, and shirts. Which, admittedly, still looked halfway decent, as they both had similar styles of dress. Buttoning up his shirt - or rather, his husband's shirt -, Eric leaned over the desk and gave Parnell a peck on the cheek. "Hey, today's ten years since we met, isn't it?"

"I suppose it is, yeah. Wow, time flies."

Parnell walked around the desk and put his arms around Eric, pulling him in close. He said, "These have been the best ten years of my life, sweetie."

Eric kissed Parnell again. When they broke off, he said, "Mine too. Now, come on, we ought to get to the lunchroom and do the meet and greet."

"Hey, I'll race you there!" Parnell laughed.

The two ran down the hallways of Elfen High toward the lunchroom.

[Olthar]

Jojo wasn't at the auditorium and didn't witness Crowley's greeting. Instead, he was in his classroom, working on a piece of machinery. Even though he had taken a job at the school as a teacher, he was still the president and CEO of Simius Industries and still had to work that job, too. So, anything that wasn't specifically mandatory about the teaching job was ignored. He found such events boring, anyways, and preferred the solitude, well sort of.

"YOU ARE MISSING HEADMASTER CROWLEY'S GREETING," a robotic voice said with a hint of frustration.

"I know. You said that three and a half minutes ago," Jojo said, sighing, "I'm not going."

"BUT ALL THE TEACHERS ARE REQUIRED TO ATTEND," S.A.M.M.E. continued.

"No they aren't. It's just a get together for people to get to know one another. I don't need to attend. Every person on this planet knows who I am, and none of the other teachers are important enough for me to care about their identities. Besides, I need to finish working on this."

"MANY OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS SCHOOL ARE EXTREMELY POWERFUL INDIVIDUALS," the AI chided.

"Psh! So what if they can throw around a few fireballs? This is the modern world, and brute force violence is no longer the way problems are solved. Being the strongest person on the planet is about as worthy of respect as being the best spear thrower or the best rock sharpener. It's an entirely obsolete competition."

"I SUPPOSE SO."

"And would you stop with that stupid voice filter already? It's getting really annoying."

"Sorry."

Rolling his eyes, Jojo continued working on his project while S.A.M.M.E. monitored the auditorium with a remote camera drone.

[Individuality-ness]

Bunnies. Huh. What else am I going to expect? Alison thought.

She was one of the new students at Elfen High, sent here because her father was otherwise unable to take care of her the way that she needed to be cared for. Especially since she had some "gifts" -- ones that he could not teach her.

In all honesty, she was curious about the bunnies, and yet she was unsure about whether she really wanted to know. Everything here -- from the orientation to the GPSes handed out as they came in -- it seemed mysterious to her.

She was happy to be here. Maybe.

[Erinkita]

Sisitu sat unobstrusively among the students. Looking, as always, like a fifteen-year-old girl, she blended in well, as much as anyone could blend in with this crowd. She half-listened to Crowley's smug, vulgar speech. He had certainly developed a long way from the powerful but confused young man she remembered tailing after Fixban. Not that the two of them met often. He had part of the old man's "save the world club" along with those two Scandanavian gods. Sisitu was there to learn how to summon spirits, not fight angels.

One thing she was grateful to the 21st century for was that nobody cared how you dressed. There were times when you could get run out of town for wearing suspicious clothes. Now, she was free to indulge her eclectic taste with scarecly a raised eyebrow from others. Tonight she wore a light floral robe that would fit in in Qing Dynasty China under a man's waistcoat that would have been the height of fashion in England in the 1850s, with a pair of leather sandals ripped straight from the Bronze Age.
She took occasional bites of whatever was on her plate. She didn't really notice food anymore.
"You'd be surprised," she said to the boy across to her left, the one who towered over her. One thing she was definitely not grateful for was how bloody tall everybody was these days. "Rabbits tend to turn up in unlikely places. The moon, for one."

[Ende]

Calliel sat in the tables with Ivy and his now chronologically ten year old son, but biologically fifteen year old son Richard. "It is rather interesting to be back here, yes?" he asked his wife, looking around awkwardly. "Odd, really. I liked Crowley's speech, very motivating. I wish he didn't use such abusive language, but the headmaster seems to follow his own morals."

Daisuke chuckled, walking over to Calliel. "You have no idea on that." he laughed. "Looking forward to your son's year here?" he asked the two of them, sitting down.

Calliel gave a nod. "Of course. I believe Richard should acquint himself with human culture."

Daisuke extended a hand to Richard. Calliel and Richard exchanged panicked looks. Calliel turned to Ivy. "We shake, yes?"

Daisuke nodded. He was familiar with angels. "Yes, you shake."

Richard proceeded to vibrate rapidly in his spot before Daisuke took the hand away. "Well, I'm sure he'll figure it out." he said with a chuckle. "Welcome back to Elfen High."

Ivy sighed.

"Yes, you're right, it is interesting to be back, Calliel."

She looked over at Richard. Oh, dear. He was "shaking". She smiled slightly, amused - she had tried to teach him human expressions and culture and everything, but, hell, even she wasn't very good with it.

"He means you shake hands, Richard." she said weakly, extending her hand out to her son. "Like this. See? It's a typical human greeting." she said, shaking hands with Richard. "No, not like that, you can't be crushing their hand! Just...gently. And not that long. Okay, now you've got it."

She let go of Richard's hand, and then sat back in her chair at the staff table, sighing deeply.

She didn't want to be back here.

It wasn't like the place was bad, really, it was just...well, she was afraid for Richard. He was so young, and, really, terribly naive. She had tried to be a good parent, she had tried to teach him how humans and other people worked, but...she was afraid that she hadn't done well. And this place...this school wasn't a good place for innocent and naive people. God, no. She had found that out the hard way. She still woke up crying in the middle of the night sometimes, screaming for the angel to stop. It wasn't the school's fault, though. But...in a way, it was.

But what was the alternative? They had tried sending Richard to a normal school, but...it didn't work. He didn't fit in, he didn't understand, he was uncomfortable and unhappy the entire time - they had withdrawn him quickly. Elfen High was...well, the ideal place for a half-angel. In concept. In practice, it...didn't seem like it would be as good, but she was here, and Calliel was here, and he'd be fine.

She looked around, and, catching Crowley's eye, waved idly at him. She was a "gardener" here, but really, it was just him giving her an excuse for being here. He was kind, in his own odd way - or maybe he just found her attractive. She knew about his cameras. She genuinely hoped that he had disabled them, but knowing Crowley...no, he wouldn't. Of course, she kind of doubted the second one - she was rather plain. Her green hair flowed down her back, and she wore a nice red vest over a collared white shirt, with some black khakis - still sixteen, of course. Ten years, and she hadn't aged a day. She could have passed for Richard's sister.

Shaking her head, she sighed, closing her eyes. It would be fine. She was here, Calliel was here, and Richard would be fine.

---------------------------

Richard, on the other hand, was thrilled. There were so many people here, so many new things - it was fascinating.

He was looking forward to this year.

"Greetings!" he said to a random girl, extending his hand, and then grabbing hers. That was a human greeting.

She looked lonely. Perhaps he could get to know some people here, and, at the same time, comfort this girl. That would be good. Dad would approve. Looking over her, he noticed that she was...eh, what was that human race? What was it? Mom had told him it. He knew this! Gah, he knew this!

Hispanic. That was it. She looked very...hispanic?

No, that was wrong.

Asian. There. That was the right one.

"I'm Richard." he said enthusiastically, shaking her hand violently up and down. "It is excellent to be meeting you. What's your name?"

[Individuality-ness]

Richard, on the other hand, was thrilled. There were so many people here, so many new things - it was fascinating.

He was looking forward to this year.

"Greetings!" he said to a random girl, extending his hand, and then grabbing hers. That was a human greeting.

She looked lonely. Perhaps he could get to know some people here, and, at the same time, comfort this girl. That would be good. Dad would approve. Looking over her, he noticed that she was...eh, what was that human race? What was it? Mom had told him it. He knew this! Gah, he knew this!

Hispanic. That was it. She looked very...hispanic?

No, that was wrong.

Asian. There. That was the right one.

"I'm Richard." he said enthusiastically, shaking her hand violently up and down. "It is excellent to be meeting you. What's your name?"

I guess you could say that she was lost in thought when suddenly a guy came up to her, said hi, and began to shake her hand.

The shaking seemed rather... enthusiastic, to say the least. It certainly not how she was taught to shake hands when she was learning how to do it from her father, from the schools that she had attended in the past, from anyone really.

But back to the moment. She had been wondering who she was going to meet, and well, seems like people wanted to meet her.

She smiled back at the kid who was now shaking her hand so vigorously that she felt it was going to come off.

"Hi. My name is Alison. Yours?"

[Ende]

Suddenly, with a slam, the doors burst open.

"DON'T RUN, MOTHERFUCKER! DON'T EVEN TRY!" bellowed Laz, gripping the stork by the throat with a meaty fist as he dragged it along the floor with him. It was a...giant stork. Nearly the size of Laz himself. It flapped randomly, but despite being in his human form, Laz was much too strong for it to escape.

"Goddamn it," swore the stork, "I'm just a fucking succubi!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!" roared Laz, punching it with the force of a train, "I AM THE GREAT AND MIGHTY LAZARIAN! IF I SAY YOU'RE THE STORK GOD, YOU ARE THE FUCKING STORK GOD!"

"I'm the stork god! I'm the stork god!" shrieked the hapless succubi, flapping around stupidly with its enormous wings. Heaving it over his shoulder, Laz carried it across the entirety of lunch room, and headed directly to the staff table.

Then, he threw the storkubus roughly on the ground in front of Ivy's seat at the table, smiling like an idiot, arms folded in front of his chest.

"I got the stork!" he said proudly, pointing at the stork with both his hands. "I got 'em!"

Still grinning like a complete fucking idiot, he kicked the unfortunate storkubus in the chest. Repeatedly.

"Now pay your child support, you fucking whore!"

Ivy stared at him for a few moments, her mouth gaping.

"What."

[Mavorpen]

Izanagi conveniently entered the auditorium after Crowley's speech. Actually. it wasn't convenient at all. It was perfectly planned. You see, using vibrations, he was able to hear Crowley beginning his speech before even entering the auditorium. He did not want to listen to that because quite frankly, he didn't care. C'mon, even though Izanagi went through a life-threatening event where he technically died and where he became one with his "original" form, he still couldn't give anymore shits if his life depended on it.

Natsu and Kyoko trailed behind him, forming a triangle for some odd reason. Earlier, their triangle would have seemed odd...well more odd than it seemed now. 10 years ago, it would have looked like a teenager leading a large, bulky middle aged man and another teenager who looked even younger than him. Now, he had a completely different atmosphere around him. It was one of complete and utter seriousness and determination. It was one also of maturity and confidence. He was dressed in a traditional kimono and held two katana at his waist.

He looked around the auditorium, and was surprised to see someone dressed in clothing even less common than his own: a 15 year old. No...not 15. He grinned and thought to himself, I see there are a bunch of new interesting beings this year... He suddenly saw Laz approach the staff table holding a giant stork, and Izanagi turned to Kyoko. "Why the fuck did we come back here?" She giggled and shrugged. Izanagi sighed and continued walking to the staff table, finding three seats that allowed the three to sit down next to each other, with Izanagi in the middle.

[Olthar]

In the exact middle of the auditorium, there stood a girl with deathly pale skin and many cybernetic components all over her body. She was perfectly silent, facing magnetic north and staring off into space. This girl was the famous Lena Simius, though she barely looked it anymore. She was someone who was by all accounts dead, or at least she was supposed to be. The public didn't know about what Jojo had done. In fact, not even the rest of his family knew. The only ones even aware of Jojo's little "experiment" were S.A.M.M.E., Ken, and Aleister Crowley, the last one because it's impossible to hide things from that man and because Jojo told him when he registered Lena as a student. Jojo was somewhat worried about her being identified, but he felt certain that she was different enough with her cybernetic parts that no one would recognize her.

Despite everything that was happening around her, Lena continued standing motionless, as if she wasn't even registering what was going on.

[Erinkita]

Sisitu stared in mounting horror as the great hulking demon burst in dragging an obviously distraught succubus in the form of a stork.
"Demons," she muttered "Give them free will and this is what happens."
She got up from her place among the students and strode briskly across the hall, her crude sandals slapping on the tiled floor. She gave the gardener Ivy a brief nod. They hadn't formally met, but Sisitu knew who she was. She spared the demon , apparently named Lazarin, no more than a contemptuous glance.

She knelt down by the abused succubus and placed a hand on its forehead. The banishing ritual for these was simple enough. A short chant in Latin and the unfortunate creature had meted away, leaving only a few stray feathers. Undoubtedly, it would be safer back on its home plane than in the hands of the "great and mighty" Lazarin.

That done, she stood up and fixed her glare at the demon, having to crane her neck to look him in the eye. "Are you a student here, or staff?" she demanded, hoping fervently that she wasn't looking at one of her colleagues.

[Ende]

Sisitu stared in mounting horror as the great hulking demon burst in dragging an obviously distraught succubus in the form of a stork.
"Demons," she muttered "Give them free will and this is what happens."
She got up from her place among the students and strode briskly across the hall, her crude sandals slapping on the tiled floor. She gave the gardener Ivy a brief nod. They hadn't formally met, but Sisitu knew who she was. She spared the demon , apparently named Lazarin, no more than a contemptuous glance.

She knelt down by the abused succubus and placed a hand on its forehead. The banishing ritual for these was simple enough. A short chant in Latin and the unfortunate creature had meted away, leaving only a few stray feathers. Undoubtedly, it would be safer back on its home plane than in the hands of the "great and mighty" Lazarin.

That done, she stood up and fixed her glare at the demon, having to crane her neck to look him in the eye. "Are you a student here, or staff?" she demanded, hoping fervently that she wasn't looking at one of her colleagues.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" howled The Great and Mighty Lazarian, rage contorting his handsome face. Believe it or not, his human form is extraordinarily beautiful. There's a reason he's spread his seed in over seventy nations (and spawned at least a hundred children).

"I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK?" he cried miserably, jumping angrily up and down, stomping his feet on the floor, hopping around like an angry redneck with cactus spines in his foot (yes I've seen this and it's hilarious).

"I killed a thousand stork minions, leveled seventeen towns, and destroyed an entire nation, just to make that motherfucker pay his motherfucking child support, and you just ruined it! You ruined all of it!" he sputtered irritably, crossing his arms. Smoke was literally coming out of his ears. Literally.

Shoving a random student out of one of the chairs at a student table, he dropped it at the staff table, next to Ivy, and sat down in it abruptly, with a loud thud.

"You're a ruining ruiner." he pouted, pointing at Sisitu. "Now I'll have to go and hunt him down later."

He sighed, a thin trail of smoke blowing out of his mouth.

"Anyway, you ruining ruiner, I am Lazarian the Great and Mighty, and also the Almighty Head and Teacher of the Various Arts of Sterilization and Tidying." he said proudly, even though he had no goddamn clue as to what any of that meant.

[Erinkita]

Sisitu found herself having to hold the urge to laugh at Lazrian's antics. The creature just admitted to wiping out a nation because he believed babies came from storks, and she was finding him funny. Was this going to be life here?
She took a seat at the staff table, across from Lazrian and between Ivy and the larger member of the Japanese-looking entourage that that entered a minute ago.

"I don't meant to... ruin," she said with an attempt at diplomacy "But that was badly done. The creature clearly wasn't the stork-god. Also I don't think there is a stork-god. And babies don't come from storks anyway."
She didn't bother getting herself more food. There wasn't much she hadn't already tasted and she had little need for nutrition anyway.
"I didn't pick you for someone with an interest in the janitorial arts," she continued "I've occasionally used some of your kind for various tasks. They're not particularly neat."

[Zarkenis Ultima]

When the speech was over, a black magic portal opened up next to Crowley, and through it stepped a black man wearing a suit and shades.

"Apologies for being late, Crowley. I was in a diplomatic meeting. Apparently, a nutjob demon razed one of Hell's independent kingdoms and they wanted our assistance in rebuilding." Said Alastor.

After that, he simply looked around. He saw the students, talking to each other and doing crazy shit. He also saw the teachers, again, talking to each other and doing crazy shit, for the most part. This was Elfen High, after all. That stuff was commonplace, and it was just the way it should be. He then saw Lazrian, and sighed to his insides. Even after demonic society had changed so much in the past ten years, some things simply didn't change.

Suddenly, something in his pocket vibrated. He took his phone and looked at it. A device that was fueled by a small rechargeable magic battery and operated on the principle of contagion. It was widely used in major cities of the United Demonic Realms, something he was rather proud of. It only added to his mark, after all.

Quickly, he sent back a message, telling his right hand man L'Enfer to deal with it. Afterwards, he looked around, wondering what he should do. As long as he was in Elfen High, he could just relax, after all. Astaroth's mark was still dwelling in Hell's skies, and his was still growing.

So, he walked up to Ivy and Calliel.

"The Michaelsons!" He greeted politely, before taking a seat next to them. "How is Mike?" He asked casually.

---

A young white-haired girl sat by herself on one of the tables, looking around and only half-listening to Crowley's speech. A pair of earbuds were plugged into her ears, as she was currently listening to a very famous two-woman band called Me And Myself instead of devoting her full attention to the speech, since she didn't think that was necessary. She did catch the important bits, such as Crowley's swearing, the GPS deal, the bit about the dragon and that she should look out for the rabbits. She had no idea why, but she figured that she should trust the headmaster on that one.

When the speech was over, the girl looked around. Most people were talking to each other or eating. She would be doing the later, but she wasn't very hungry at the moment and preferred to wait a bit anyway. There was also a person with horns who dragged a stork along, and a girl who looked younger than her that made the stork disappear. All of this surprised her a lot, as she was relatively new to the supernatural world, even if the existence of magic and nonhumans was common knowledge by now.

So, wondering what she should do, she noticed that there was a welcoming sign, and the paint wasn't right in one part. Thus, she took her notebook, a blue one that had "Lyra" written in black ink on the cover, and opened it. She began drawing said sign, copying it to near perfection, and corrected the paint. Then suddenly, the real sign corrected itself as well, and Lyra smiled.

"A little kindness goes a long way." She thought to herself.

[Liriena]

Waking up to the feeling of soft, gentle hands caressing your naked back under the warm covers of your bed was not an unpleasant experience. Not even for someone who had just slept little more than two hours. In fact, it was near the top of his list of "ways I like to wake up", right below "waking up from someone shoving his...tongue down my throat".

"Mary, wake up...I'm hungry." That sweet voice, with a light Irish accent, made it even harder for Marowit to feel even remotely flustered at being woken up so relatively early. If there was someone he could never get angry at, it was the person speaking to him right now. The same wonderful person who had moved his perfect little hand towards the Wendish god's golden locks, stroking them with a level of devotion that made Marowit feel slightly godly again.

"What do you want for breakfast?" He asked the always wonderful Lir, his lover from last night. More accurately, Lir was the Irish god of the sea, as well as Marowit's fifth spouse, out of eight. A beautiful creature in every imaginable way, not even Marowit could be deprecating in any way towards this cutie. Heck, his marriage with Lir had so far been the only one to end in friendly terms.

"Just some fruit and tea...thanks." Said the younger deity, pressing a kiss on Marowit's cold cheek, before laying his head on the other's shoulder. Marowit could only sigh at the sensation, and the giggle that escaped from Lir's lips only made this experience a lot more...heartwarming.

Swallow me, earth... Marowit pleaded in his mind. Yes, cuddling with Lir was always a great experience, but it was also rather awkward. The only thing that kept him from having a breakdown every time something like this happened was the fact that the two were very good at pretending these things never happened. Even when these sessions of lovemaking and cuddling took place on a yearly basis. He's worse than cigarettes and vodka...at least cigarettes and vodka eventually kill you.

"Do you want salt with your tea?" Marowit enquired, followed by a quick kiss to Lir's lips. Worse than vodka, I tell you...and a lot sweeter...and softer...and...

Shit.

Then again, who could have possibly blamed Marowit for constantly ending up in bed with the only former spouse of his that he did not hate with a passion? Besides, it was not as if they had any unresolved feelings. ...yeah, keep telling yourself that, Mary. Even better, keep telling yourself that while eating his face off.

"Ugh...I need a psychologist." Marowit groaned, pressing the palm of his hand to his forehead in shame.

"I have a degree in psychology, remember?" Interjected Lir, before nipping on Marowit's neck. After fifty-seven years of marriage and two centuries of confusing sexual encounters, Lir was very well acquainted with Marowit's physical weaknesses, and his long, pale neck was his greatest one.

If Chernobog could see me now...the prick would probably laugh his ass off and offer me flavored lube.

---

Well, I'm late...

A rather obvious conclussion on Marowit's part, perhaps, but he had just woken up and enjoyed a languid session of breakfast lovemaking with Lir, which meant that his brain was still running at low performance, sluggishly trying to catch up with today's early events. Even his eyesight remained a bit blurry as he stepped into the main building of Elfen High, ready for the first day or reluctant labor.

That being said, Marowit looked as dashing as always with his perfectly combed hair, tight black outfit and matching handbag. Dashing, and rather sexy as well, albeit in a very girly way. Just how he liked it. Even if he was a few hours late, he was certain that the authorities of this institution would be lenient as soon as he used his physical charms on them. After all, who could possibly resist a thin, well-dressed, androgynous god from Eastern Europe?

A few angels and demons, some very homophobic guys in Texas, Chernobog, my second wife... The response came quite quickly, which implied that, maybe, Marowit would not need another cup of tea, and a dosis of sexting with Lir, to get his brain to work at full capacity.

Of course...if that fails, I can always traumatize them for life... He considered, his bad mood taking its toll. Being forced out of bed to go to teach something he had no interest in teaching was exasperating enough, but being forced to miss a chance for sweet breakfast sex with the only ex-husband of his that he still liked was just heartless on Crowley's part. I'd give him a piece of my mind on that...but I think I'd rather just go, bash his students and be done with it as soon as possible.

Something in his right pocket vibrated while he walked through the hallways, searching for the lunchroom, wherever that was. Since he had learned, a very long time ago, not to bring his vibrator to the workplace, Marowit guessed that it was most likely his phone. In fact, it was probably Sieba calling, desperate to have someone willing to hear her latest gossip. In other words, it was a call worth missing.

After many endless minutes, he finally found the door to the lunchroom. It was not an achievement he felt particularly proud of, but it was still a relief. This school was already creeping him out. The feeling of impending doom that lingered in the air was even worse than the one he had felt while teaching in Texas.

As he pressed a slender hand to the doorknob, his pocket vibrated again. Sieba never called twice, so it was evident that it could not possibly be her. That did not change the fact that he really needed to enter that lunchroom and introduce himself in the best fashion possible, although it did leave him a bit restless.

Meh, nevermind...

He slowly turned the doorknob, forcing himself to use his best fake smile as he opened the door and stepped into the lunchroom...

Wow...that is quite a high density of freaks. That was his first internal reaction to the individuals he could see here. Fortunately, it did not show in his features. As a matter of fact, he remained calm and smiling as he took a few confident steps into the room. If any of these...things...are students of mine, I'm definitely handing Crowley my resignation the moment he gives me my first paycheck.

[Ende]

Richard, on the other hand, was thrilled. There were so many people here, so many new things - it was fascinating.

He was looking forward to this year.

"Greetings!" he said to a random girl, extending his hand, and then grabbing hers. That was a human greeting.

She looked lonely. Perhaps he could get to know some people here, and, at the same time, comfort this girl. That would be good. Dad would approve. Looking over her, he noticed that she was...eh, what was that human race? What was it? Mom had told him it. He knew this! Gah, he knew this!

Hispanic. That was it. She looked very...hispanic?

No, that was wrong.

Asian. There. That was the right one.

"I'm Richard." he said enthusiastically, shaking her hand violently up and down. "It is excellent to be meeting you. What's your name?"

I guess you could say that she was lost in thought when suddenly a guy came up to her, said hi, and began to shake her hand.

The shaking seemed rather... enthusiastic, to say the least. It certainly not how she was taught to shake hands when she was learning how to do it from her father, from the schools that she had attended in the past, from anyone really.

But back to the moment. She had been wondering who she was going to meet, and well, seems like people wanted to meet her.

She smiled back at the kid who was now shaking her hand so vigorously that she felt it was going to come off.

"Hi. My name is Alison. Yours?"

Richard paused, confused. Letting go of Alison's hand, he let it drop.

"I...I already introduced myself. Did you not hear me? Oh well. That's okay. I don't mind. It is nice to meet you, Alison. My name is Richard Michaelson. I'm Calliel and Ivy's son. They're up there at the staff table." he said, pointing at Ivy, whose mouth was still gaping as she stared blankly at Laz, and Calliel, who looked rather confused. It might seem slightly odd to Alison, actually - Ivy and Richard looked as if they could be brother and sister.

"Mom's the school gardener and Dad's a counselor." he continued, sitting down next to Alison. "So, Alison...eh...so..." he continued...and then his voice trailed off. He couldn't think of anything to say at all. Was it appropriate to ask her what her parents did? What was he supposed to say?

He paused awkwardly, feeling his cheeks tinge red.

"I'm bad at talking with humans." he stammered in a very awkward way, rather embarrassed.

[Ende]

Sisitu found herself having to hold the urge to laugh at Lazrian's antics. The creature just admitted to wiping out a nation because he believed babies came from storks, and she was finding him funny. Was this going to be life here?
She took a seat at the staff table, across from Lazrian and between Ivy and the larger member of the Japanese-looking entourage that that entered a minute ago.

"I don't meant to... ruin," she said with an attempt at diplomacy "But that was badly done. The creature clearly wasn't the stork-god. Also I don't think there is a stork-god. And babies don't come from storks anyway."
She didn't bother getting herself more food. There wasn't much she hadn't already tasted and she had little need for nutrition anyway.
"I didn't pick you for someone with an interest in the janitorial arts," she continued "I've occasionally used some of your kind for various tasks. They're not particularly neat."

"No, it was the stork god." grumbled Lazarian, picking Ivy's food off her plate with his hands. She glared daggers at him, but was a bit too nervous to really do anything about it. "And there is totally a stork god. Totally. Also, storks do bring children. See, let me explain. The stork watches you fuck, and then he brings you a kid and refuses to pay child support because he's a fucking dick. I mean, the guy brought me, like, thirty children. Asshole. He's probably Yahweh, man. And Yahweh awful. Hate that guy. I'm going to rip his head off!"

He brightened.

"Well, anyway, I wasn't that good at cleaning things, but then I was taught how to by Richard. The old janitor who was here. He's dead now. Man, he was a cool guy. That guy was awesome. It's too bad that he's dead, but oh well, everything dies eventually. You get over it."

He paused, taking Ivy's plate and dumping the contents down his throat. Then, he shattered the plate in his hands, and ate that as well.

"So," he resumed, belching loudly, "what's your name, ruiner?"

[Individuality-ness]

The stork. The fucking stork. And the guy holding the fucking stork. Just busting in at Elfen High all of a sudden.

Just... what the hell? Why now?!

All Alison could do was freaking stare at the stork and Laz during their confrontation. Just... my gods, if this is what Elfen High is like -- if this was a normal occurrence and things like this happen all the freaking time... Actually, she'd probably like it here.

Although she would like to tell Laz exactly how reproduction worked. Then again, if she did tell him how it worked, she might be put up for child support. So there's that. Um. Yeah, maybe not worth the time or money.

I guess you could say that she was lost in thought when suddenly a guy came up to her, said hi, and began to shake her hand.

The shaking seemed rather... enthusiastic, to say the least. It certainly not how she was taught to shake hands when she was learning how to do it from her father, from the schools that she had attended in the past, from anyone really.

But back to the moment. She had been wondering who she was going to meet, and well, seems like people wanted to meet her.

She smiled back at the kid who was now shaking her hand so vigorously that she felt it was going to come off.

"Hi. My name is Alison. Yours?"

Richard paused, confused. Letting go of Alison's hand, he let it drop.

"I...I already introduced myself. Did you not hear me? Oh well. That's okay. I don't mind. It is nice to meet you, Alison. My name is Richard Michaelson. I'm Calliel and Ivy's son. They're up there at the staff table." he said, pointing at Ivy, whose mouth was still gaping as she stared blankly at Laz, and Calliel, who looked rather confused. It might seem slightly odd to Alison, actually - Ivy and Richard looked as if they could be brother and sister.

"Mom's the school gardener and Dad's a counselor." he continued, sitting down next to Alison. "So, Alison...eh...so..." he continued...and then his voice trailed off. He couldn't think of anything to say at all. Was it appropriate to ask her what her parents did? What was he supposed to say?

He paused awkwardly, feeling his cheeks tinge red.

"I'm bad at talking with humans." he stammered in a very awkward way, rather embarrassed.

"Oh! Um, sorry, my bad. Spaced out. You know, stork?" she replied, gesturing to where the stork and Laz had their confrontation of sorts near the door and where someone who looked fifteen -- but who probably wasn't -- banished it to gods knows where.

She listened as he gestured to who he called Mom and Dad, cocking her eyebrows when he pointed out the woman he called "Mom". "Mom" or Ivy didn't look one day older than she -- and yet she was apparently the mother of Richard, who looked about her age, maybe a bit younger. She decided not to think about that -- the implications were too great for her right now, and to be honest, she wasn't sure she wanted to know exactly why Ivy looked like Richard's sister.

"It's okay," she reassured him when he admitted that he was bad at speaking with humans. "I'm bad at speaking with humans too, and I happen to be one. Doesn't make a difference I don't think."

[Ende]

Richard paused, confused. Letting go of Alison's hand, he let it drop.

"I...I already introduced myself. Did you not hear me? Oh well. That's okay. I don't mind. It is nice to meet you, Alison. My name is Richard Michaelson. I'm Calliel and Ivy's son. They're up there at the staff table." he said, pointing at Ivy, whose mouth was still gaping as she stared blankly at Laz, and Calliel, who looked rather confused. It might seem slightly odd to Alison, actually - Ivy and Richard looked as if they could be brother and sister.

"Mom's the school gardener and Dad's a counselor." he continued, sitting down next to Alison. "So, Alison...eh...so..." he continued...and then his voice trailed off. He couldn't think of anything to say at all. Was it appropriate to ask her what her parents did? What was he supposed to say?

He paused awkwardly, feeling his cheeks tinge red.

"I'm bad at talking with humans." he stammered in a very awkward way, rather embarrassed.

"Oh! Um, sorry, my bad. Spaced out. You know, stork?" she replied, gesturing to where the stork and Laz had their confrontation of sorts near the door and where someone who looked fifteen -- but who probably wasn't -- banished it to gods knows where.

She listened as he gestured to who he called Mom and Dad, cocking her eyebrows when he pointed out the woman he called "Mom". "Mom" or Ivy didn't look one day older than she -- and yet she was apparently the mother of Richard, who looked about her age, maybe a bit younger. She decided not to think about that -- the implications were too great for her right now, and to be honest, she wasn't sure she wanted to know exactly why Ivy looked like Richard's sister.

"It's okay," she reassured him when he admitted that he was bad at speaking with humans. "I'm bad at speaking with humans too, and I happen to be one. Doesn't make a difference I don't think."

"I...I don't get what was with the stork either." admitted Richard, looking over at Laz. "Then again, Laz is a demon, and...well, all creatures are equal and beautiful in God's sight, but..."

He felt slightly bad for thinking this, to be honest, but from the demons he had known back in Heavensgate, and the few humans, and the angels...well...

"...demons aren't quite as intelligent." he said quietly, feeling somewhat guilty. "They're just...not. They're honestly a little bit dumb. Most of them."

Feeling rather guilty, he changed the subject.

"So...you're just human? I'm assuming you have powers. Mom said that this school was for wizards, warlocks, halflings, angels, demons, you know, supernaturals. Like me. If you don't mind me asking, what do you do?"

[Ende]

When the speech was over, a black magic portal opened up next to Crowley, and through it stepped a black man wearing a suit and shades.

"Apologies for being late, Crowley. I was in a diplomatic meeting. Apparently, a nutjob demon razed one of Hell's independent kingdoms and they wanted our assistance in rebuilding." Said Alastor.

After that, he simply looked around. He saw the students, talking to each other and doing crazy shit. He also saw the teachers, again, talking to each other and doing crazy shit, for the most part. This was Elfen High, after all. That stuff was commonplace, and it was just the way it should be. He then saw Lazrian, and sighed to his insides. Even after demonic society had changed so much in the past ten years, some things simply didn't change.

Suddenly, something in his pocket vibrated. He took his phone and looked at it. A device that was fueled by a small rechargeable magic battery and operated on the principle of contagion. It was widely used in major cities of the United Demonic Realms, something he was rather proud of. It only added to his mark, after all.

Quickly, he sent back a message, telling his right hand man L'Enfer to deal with it. Afterwards, he looked around, wondering what he should do. As long as he was in Elfen High, he could just relax, after all. Astaroth's mark was still dwelling in Hell's skies, and his was still growing.

So, he walked up to Ivy and Calliel.

"The Michaelsons!" He greeted politely, before taking a seat next to them. "How is Mike?" He asked casually.

Ivy stopped glaring daggers at Laz (if looks could kill, Laz would be dead. On both lives.), and turned to Alastor.

It was good to see Alastor, actually. She didn't actually know him too well, but they were acquaintances, and he was always friendly. Besides, Ivy liked him. He was friendly, polite, intelligent - hell, if she didn't know he was a demon, she wouldn't have thought that at all. Not that she thought demons weren't friendly, polite, and intelligent, but...well, most of them weren't. Alastor, though, was...probably one of the best of the demon race.

He was also terrible with names, apparently. Ivy was slightly confused, and then she realized that Alastor was talking about Richard.

"Mike? I...you mean Richard, right?" she said, pointing over towards Richard. He was in the middle of talking with some girl right now - hopefully, that was going over well and she wasn't actually an eldritch abomination. "Richard's doing fine...I hope. He's just a bit naive and young, and this place...well, those aren't good for this place." she replied, sounding slightly uncertain.

"So, Lord Alastor," she said quickly, changing the subject, "you've been doing a lot recently, haven't you? I've heard that you united the majority of Hell under your banner. I honestly didn't think that was even possible. Forging an empire in only ten years? That's incredibly impressive. I have to hand it to you - that's amazing. So...how have you been doing?"

[Erinkita]

Sisitu glanced over at Ivy and the man next to her whose name she didn't know. She apparently didn't like the demon taking her food, but didn't look to be doing anything about it. Oh well. We lose what we don't defend. She decided to concede the reproduction argument. There was nothing to be gained there. She nodded agreeably with his statements about Yahweh. She'd never met the god, but undoubtedly there was some reason to hate him. There usually was, with gods.

"Everything dies eventually," he said.
"One can only hope," she replied. Fanning away the fumes from his belch, she introduced herself. "Sisitu. I'll be teaching history. My first teaching position in four hundred years, actually."
The last one had not ended successfully. The children came home with stories of ancient beliefs and practices and the townsfolk ended up deciding she was a witch. Quite correctly, of course, but it still rankled. She was hanged out in the woods, came back to life the next day, and choked to death again. It was more than a week before some woodsman wondered why she hadn't rotted and what the mysterious piles of gore on the ground beneath her were. To be safe, they had ended up cremating her, which had proved a boon and allowed her to slip away the next morning.

She half-listened to the conversation going on next to her between Ivy, the newcomer, and her apparent husband. Had they named their son after the pervious janitor? How odd. She felt another pang of regret. This Alastor had united all of hell. What had she done in her 5,000 year life? Killed some decrepit gods and mostly stayed out of everyone's way. Well, not anymore. This is here it begins, she told herself.

[Individuality-ness]

"Oh! Um, sorry, my bad. Spaced out. You know, stork?" she replied, gesturing to where the stork and Laz had their confrontation of sorts near the door and where someone who looked fifteen -- but who probably wasn't -- banished it to gods knows where.

She listened as he gestured to who he called Mom and Dad, cocking her eyebrows when he pointed out the woman he called "Mom". "Mom" or Ivy didn't look one day older than she -- and yet she was apparently the mother of Richard, who looked about her age, maybe a bit younger. She decided not to think about that -- the implications were too great for her right now, and to be honest, she wasn't sure she wanted to know exactly why Ivy looked like Richard's sister.

"It's okay," she reassured him when he admitted that he was bad at speaking with humans. "I'm bad at speaking with humans too, and I happen to be one. Doesn't make a difference I don't think."

"I...I don't get what was with the stork either." admitted Richard, looking over at Laz. "Then again, Laz is a demon, and...well, all creatures are equal and beautiful in God's sight, but..."

He felt slightly bad for thinking this, to be honest, but from the demons he had known back in Heavensgate, and the few humans, and the angels...well...

"...demons aren't quite as intelligent." he said quietly, feeling somewhat guilty. "They're just...not. They're honestly a little bit dumb. Most of them."

Feeling rather guilty, he changed the subject.

"So...you're just human? I'm assuming you have powers. Mom said that this school was for wizards, warlocks, halflings, angels, demons, you know, supernaturals. Like me. If you don't mind me asking, what do you do?"

"Yeah, that stork was weird. Um, yeah, uh, I'll trust your judgement on this one."

She wasn't really sure whether demons were less intelligent than humans or angels or whatever. Then again, how was she supposed to know? She's never met a demon in her life, and to be honest, she's not sure she really wanted to meet one, given what demons did to her mother in Cairo... but that's another story.

"Um, yes. Human. As far as I know," she said honestly. "I don't think that there's supernatural being blood in our family, not as far as I know. If there were, Father would never tell me."

Her hand subconsciously moved up to touch the sapphire that was part of the necklace around her neck. She had a habit of doing that, although she was mostly unaware of it. If she were aware of it, she wouldn't understand why either. But somehow it always made her feel better, more relaxed, more calmer.

"Me, personally? Uh..." Her face flushed. "I manipulate stuff. Like, feelings. And I can move stuff without touching them. And sometimes I've gotten hurt, but the next day the cuts are gone and all there is left is thin scar tissue if it's a deep cut."

This is getting awkward...

"Yourself? Besides being not-really-human and all," she quickly added, quickly wondering what he was.

[Ende]

Sisitu glanced over at Ivy and the man next to her whose name she didn't know. She apparently didn't like the demon taking her food, but didn't look to be doing anything about it. Oh well. We lose what we don't defend. She decided to concede the reproduction argument. There was nothing to be gained there. She nodded agreeably with his statements about Yahweh. She'd never met the god, but undoubtedly there was some reason to hate him. There usually was, with gods.

"Everything dies eventually," he said.
"One can only hope," she replied. Fanning away the fumes from his belch, she introduced herself. "Sisitu. I'll be teaching history. My first teaching position in four hundred years, actually."
The last one had not ended successfully. The children came home with stories of ancient beliefs and practices and the townsfolk ended up deciding she was a witch. Quite correctly, of course, but it still rankled. She was hanged out in the woods, came back to life the next day, and choked to death again. It was more than a week before some woodsman wondered why she hadn't rotted and what the mysterious piles of gore on the ground beneath her were. To be safe, they had ended up cremating her, which had proved a boon and allowed her to slip away the next morning.

"Cool. Four hundred years? That's cool. I'm almost four hundred. I'm five hundred right now, so I'll be four hundred soon." he said, chewing on a chicken bone, snapping it and then drinking the marrow inside. That was delicious. It was too bad it wasn't human. That tasted way better. Oh well. Richard said that eating people wasn't cool, so he had stopped the whole "craving for human blood" thing.

Then, suddenly, something in his brain clicked. Well, no, Laz's brain wasn't really capable of "clicking", more like "thudding", really, but it's a metaphor.

"Wait," he said, scrunching his eyebrows, "what's a history?"

[Zarkenis Ultima]

Alastor looked slightly confused when Ivy corrected him, and then looked over at where Richard was talking to a girl and yep, he was Ivy and Calliel's son. He had apparently messed that up. Oh, well, it was not very important, and there had been so many things running through Alastor's mind lately that his slip was in a way justified.

"Ah, yes, Richard..." He muttered, looking back at Ivy and listening to her talk about Richard's naivety and innocence. He chuckled to his insides. The odds were not in the kid's favor, but then, many had triumphed when the odds weren't in their favor, ironically enough. Who was to say that the janitor's reincarnation would be any different?

Hearing Ivy's praise, Alastor allowed himself to smile. "Your praise is quite welcome. I have been doing well, Lily, thanks. Managing the United Demonic Realms can be a bit stressing at times, but I have people who assist me in dealing with those matters and, really, Astaria still thrives in the sky and demonic society is progressing. I cannot complain that things are going well, can I?" He stated, chuckling again, this time out loud.

"And yourself?" He asked afterwards.