No, I have no idea.
"COVER YOURSELVES! ARTILLERY'S COMING!" Shouted a muscular katana-wielding warrior who wore a blue vest and a red and white mushroom cap, like the rest of the soldiers fighting alongside him. Instantly, everybody around took notice and attempted to dive out of the way of the way of the enormous black projectile that was headed towards them, its malicious, inhuman grin visible even as it slammed into the ground and unleashed a powerful explosion. Not everybody was fortunate, and those less so were immediately torn apart by the shockwave, their blood falling to the battlefield like drops of rain. However, they made no stain. The ground had long since been painted red.
"Where the hell is the Gen-" The toad who had shouted tried to say, but unfortunately, he could not finish his sentence, as one of his enemies, a hideous, monstruous turtle with sickly yellow skin and a sturdy shell leaped forward and tore off his throat. It quickly moved away from the spray of blood. There was no joy in its bloodshed. There was only a rage buning yet cold. There was vengeance.
"Die, you damned Koopa!" Another toad shouted, rushing forward and disemboweling the koopa with his katana, blood and gore dripping to the ground and painting the toad red.
And so the battle went.
But as the sun set in the western sky, and the koopas were almost celebrating their victory over the toads, something happened.
Weary from the long battle, a toad was on the verge of collapsing. His legs were giving in and his arms could hold his sword no more. But before he fell, something entered his mind. Something... dark. Something... powerful. Beyond this, it was indescribable. But it said something to him. It gave him an instruction.
"RETREAT! HE'S COMING! RETREAT! HE'S COMING!" He shouted, his face contorted into an expression of sheer, raw terror as he turned on his heel and began running away from the battlefield, continuing to shout these words at the top of his lungs. The other toads seemed to understand what was about to happen, and so those who still remained fled as fast as they could.
The koopas, believing that victory was theirs, began marching towards the now undefended castle.
And that marked their downfall.
Before they could enter and storm the castle, something came out. A person. A person clad in green and blue, with a small green cap that had an unknowable symbol painted on it. In the language of the Ancients, that symbol represented an L.
The figure in question... It was dancing. At first, the koopas on the frontlines couldn't help it and laughed. Who was this buffon? Was he truly going to stand against them? Ha! But as they continued watching him, they realized something. There seemed to be something else, something... Around him? No, it wasn't quite around him. Inside him, then? No, not that either. Then what? When they realized, their faces went pale and their weapons fell to the ground. Some of them died on the spot, their weak hearts giving in to the shock, and others started shouting at the top of their lungs. What they saw was neither inside nor around that person. It was that person. And it was terrible. Absolutely horrifying. It put all of the world's terrors together to shame. And they saw it.
After a few moments, their bodies, dead or alive, started morphing into something else. Now, instead of the koopas, different creatures stood there. They were monsters, beasts made of bone, crude and cruel parodies of the beings that they once were. Immediately they turned around, went forth and attacked their comrades with vicious, merciless glee. The koopa troops fought back, but they were outmatched.
Finally, after twisting the bodies of the living and the dead, the mysterious, dark, powerful figure stopped its forbidden dance and pulled out two objects from the pockets of his overalls. One of them was a piece of paper. The other, a bag with a white and red circular flower painted on it. Using the contents of the bag and the piece of paper, he dexterously prepared a joint and put it to his mouth, lighting it up with a green flame that sprouted forth from his gloved finger.
"Mamma mia, this is a fucking mess." The figure said casually, looking over the bloodstained fields surrounding the castle.
From behind the ranks of the koopas, an enormous roar sounded, shaking the earth and even the sky. The figure seemed unfazed, even as a massive figure walked forth. If the koopas were monsters, then this was undoubtedly their king. It was much bigger, with horns and a red mane, and spikes all over its shell.
"YOU!" It roared at the figure, who raised its eyebrows ever so slightly in mild amusement. "LUIGI!"
"Ciao, motherfucker." He replied nonchalantly.
"YOU AND YOUR BROTHER ARE THE ONES WHO DESTROYED OUR KINGDOM! PREPARE TO DIE!" The beast roared, stomping on the bone creatures Luigi had created from the koopas. Afterwards, it leaped towards him, attempting to crush him. But Luigi quite simply wasn't there anymore. He was way further back. Enraged, the Koopa King took in a deep breath, and then unleashed the very flames of inferno upon Luigi. But he simply raised his left hand, making the shape of a pistol with it.
"Bang." He said, and a green flame shot forth, consuming and cancelling all of the Koopa King's fire.
And so they fought, but all of the Koopa King's might proved to be insufficient to the sheer, seemingly limitless power of the man who stood before it. At first the armies had attempted to help their lord, but those who dared were obliterated everytime.
In the end, only one fourth of the koopa army remained, and their king was in front of all of them, lying on the ground, defeated. Luigi walked up to him, sighing. "Why are you doing this, man? You knew what would happen." He asked nonchalantly. The Koopa King looked up at him, eyes filled with rage.
"YOU... YOU KILLED MY FATHER!" It roared, with what little strenght was left inside.
However, Luigi merely chuckled. "Oh, no signore, I didn't kill him or anything like that. I just did this." He said, effortlessly lifting the beast by its neck with one hand and taking a puff of his joint with the other. Almost immediately, his eyes, which had remained unchanged, began turning red. At first, there seemed to be little wrong with it, other than the spontaneity of the change, but after a moment or two, it became obvious that something was not right. Soon iris, pupil and sclera alike were all completely red. And at that moment, the Koopa King could glimpse the truth behind Luigi's form. Letting out a blood curling scream that made the earth and the sky bleed, the Koopa King collapsed. Luigi merely chuckled again.
"Say hello to daddy Bowser for me!" He said to the unconscious enemy, picking up its leg and hurling him into a portal that had been opened at the far back of the battlefield. Afterwards, he thrusted his palms forth, and two spiralling dragons made of green flames shot forth, erasing the remnants of the koopa army from existence, before slamming into the Koopa King just as it went through the portal. A portal that connected to another, opened in the sky above the ocean of an enormous planet we now know as Hell.
And after all of this had been done, Luigi took the joint out of his mount, and spat a great ammount of blood. Afterwards, he sighed.
"Stronzo di merda! Why do I have to keep the house safe while you're out fighting wars, Mario?" He said, looking at the sky. There, in the distance, he saw something: A star, descending. It caused an explosion that was heard for miles and miles, and while it did not reach the castle, Luigi could perceive it.
"Mamma mia. I guess you'll at least be back for some tennis."
"Where the hell is the Gen-" The toad who had shouted tried to say, but unfortunately, he could not finish his sentence, as one of his enemies, a hideous, monstruous turtle with sickly yellow skin and a sturdy shell leaped forward and tore off his throat. It quickly moved away from the spray of blood. There was no joy in its bloodshed. There was only a rage buning yet cold. There was vengeance.
"Die, you damned Koopa!" Another toad shouted, rushing forward and disemboweling the koopa with his katana, blood and gore dripping to the ground and painting the toad red.
And so the battle went.
But as the sun set in the western sky, and the koopas were almost celebrating their victory over the toads, something happened.
Weary from the long battle, a toad was on the verge of collapsing. His legs were giving in and his arms could hold his sword no more. But before he fell, something entered his mind. Something... dark. Something... powerful. Beyond this, it was indescribable. But it said something to him. It gave him an instruction.
"RETREAT! HE'S COMING! RETREAT! HE'S COMING!" He shouted, his face contorted into an expression of sheer, raw terror as he turned on his heel and began running away from the battlefield, continuing to shout these words at the top of his lungs. The other toads seemed to understand what was about to happen, and so those who still remained fled as fast as they could.
The koopas, believing that victory was theirs, began marching towards the now undefended castle.
And that marked their downfall.
Before they could enter and storm the castle, something came out. A person. A person clad in green and blue, with a small green cap that had an unknowable symbol painted on it. In the language of the Ancients, that symbol represented an L.
The figure in question... It was dancing. At first, the koopas on the frontlines couldn't help it and laughed. Who was this buffon? Was he truly going to stand against them? Ha! But as they continued watching him, they realized something. There seemed to be something else, something... Around him? No, it wasn't quite around him. Inside him, then? No, not that either. Then what? When they realized, their faces went pale and their weapons fell to the ground. Some of them died on the spot, their weak hearts giving in to the shock, and others started shouting at the top of their lungs. What they saw was neither inside nor around that person. It was that person. And it was terrible. Absolutely horrifying. It put all of the world's terrors together to shame. And they saw it.
After a few moments, their bodies, dead or alive, started morphing into something else. Now, instead of the koopas, different creatures stood there. They were monsters, beasts made of bone, crude and cruel parodies of the beings that they once were. Immediately they turned around, went forth and attacked their comrades with vicious, merciless glee. The koopa troops fought back, but they were outmatched.
Finally, after twisting the bodies of the living and the dead, the mysterious, dark, powerful figure stopped its forbidden dance and pulled out two objects from the pockets of his overalls. One of them was a piece of paper. The other, a bag with a white and red circular flower painted on it. Using the contents of the bag and the piece of paper, he dexterously prepared a joint and put it to his mouth, lighting it up with a green flame that sprouted forth from his gloved finger.
"Mamma mia, this is a fucking mess." The figure said casually, looking over the bloodstained fields surrounding the castle.
From behind the ranks of the koopas, an enormous roar sounded, shaking the earth and even the sky. The figure seemed unfazed, even as a massive figure walked forth. If the koopas were monsters, then this was undoubtedly their king. It was much bigger, with horns and a red mane, and spikes all over its shell.
"YOU!" It roared at the figure, who raised its eyebrows ever so slightly in mild amusement. "LUIGI!"
"Ciao, motherfucker." He replied nonchalantly.
"YOU AND YOUR BROTHER ARE THE ONES WHO DESTROYED OUR KINGDOM! PREPARE TO DIE!" The beast roared, stomping on the bone creatures Luigi had created from the koopas. Afterwards, it leaped towards him, attempting to crush him. But Luigi quite simply wasn't there anymore. He was way further back. Enraged, the Koopa King took in a deep breath, and then unleashed the very flames of inferno upon Luigi. But he simply raised his left hand, making the shape of a pistol with it.
"Bang." He said, and a green flame shot forth, consuming and cancelling all of the Koopa King's fire.
And so they fought, but all of the Koopa King's might proved to be insufficient to the sheer, seemingly limitless power of the man who stood before it. At first the armies had attempted to help their lord, but those who dared were obliterated everytime.
In the end, only one fourth of the koopa army remained, and their king was in front of all of them, lying on the ground, defeated. Luigi walked up to him, sighing. "Why are you doing this, man? You knew what would happen." He asked nonchalantly. The Koopa King looked up at him, eyes filled with rage.
"YOU... YOU KILLED MY FATHER!" It roared, with what little strenght was left inside.
However, Luigi merely chuckled. "Oh, no signore, I didn't kill him or anything like that. I just did this." He said, effortlessly lifting the beast by its neck with one hand and taking a puff of his joint with the other. Almost immediately, his eyes, which had remained unchanged, began turning red. At first, there seemed to be little wrong with it, other than the spontaneity of the change, but after a moment or two, it became obvious that something was not right. Soon iris, pupil and sclera alike were all completely red. And at that moment, the Koopa King could glimpse the truth behind Luigi's form. Letting out a blood curling scream that made the earth and the sky bleed, the Koopa King collapsed. Luigi merely chuckled again.
"Say hello to daddy Bowser for me!" He said to the unconscious enemy, picking up its leg and hurling him into a portal that had been opened at the far back of the battlefield. Afterwards, he thrusted his palms forth, and two spiralling dragons made of green flames shot forth, erasing the remnants of the koopa army from existence, before slamming into the Koopa King just as it went through the portal. A portal that connected to another, opened in the sky above the ocean of an enormous planet we now know as Hell.
And after all of this had been done, Luigi took the joint out of his mount, and spat a great ammount of blood. Afterwards, he sighed.
"Stronzo di merda! Why do I have to keep the house safe while you're out fighting wars, Mario?" He said, looking at the sky. There, in the distance, he saw something: A star, descending. It caused an explosion that was heard for miles and miles, and while it did not reach the castle, Luigi could perceive it.
"Mamma mia. I guess you'll at least be back for some tennis."
But I said I'd do one about Luigi at some point, so there.
