Saintland Press - News from Saintland's Perspective

[Saintland]

Saintland Press

The Saintland Press is a news agency which produces the national and international news stories that appear in newspapers in the Kingdom of Saintland. It was founded in 1822 by King Josephus X, who is widely considered to be Saintland's greatest King. The Saintland Press is part of the King's Government and provides the Kingdom's perspective on the news. The SP's news is generally true, but is written from a perspective that is unapologetically pro-Church of Saintland and pro-King's Government. The SP will sometimes not report on news that would reflect poorly on Saintland's institutions, but those instances are rare because its usually possible to make the institutions look good. When reporting on economic issues, the SP, like the Kingdom of Saintland favors a 3rd way between capitalism and socialism, both of which are considered Godless and immoral. Internationally, the SP is pro-monarchist and supports efforts to promote morality.

We welcome your comments, questions and support of our reporting. We even welcome criticism of our reporting.

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Sanctustube to begin offering site in foreign languages

(SP) Popular tube web site Sanctustube.pop.sanctvs will soon begin offering their web site in languages other than Latin. The move is widely seen as a way to expand the site's market share internationally and is the boldest move yet by an Internet business to profit off of Saintland's complete lack of idea monopoly laws. "We hope to become the most popular tube web site, not just in Saintland, but also in every foreign nation. The decision to become the first Saintland-based Internet business to offer non-Latin versions of our site was an easy one to make. Most foreign nations have something they call 'copyright,' which grants a privileged few a monopoly over ideas. According to our market research, many foreigners want to watch television programs and movies that aren't available where they live and many other foreigners want to watch television programs and movies that are available where they live, but cannot because the monopolists of ideas charge exorbitant prices for access to those ideas. Our site is already somewhat used to thwart the idea monopolists, but this move will make thwarting monopolists the primary use of our web site. That will be a major step toward our goal of overtaking the most popular foreign tube sites." - Ioannes Liburnius, Founder/CEO of Sanctustube

Those worried about a possible influx of foreign filth corrupting their children should not be. Sanctustube will educate the new foreign users about what kind of content is inappropriate for Saintland and the importance of checking the box to enable region-blocking when their video contains content that would earn a V (Veto) rating in Saintland and/or be placed on the Index Liborum Prohibitorum. Those worried that Sanctustube may corrupt the morals of virtuous foreign nations need not be. King Paulus XV has already passed legislation to create a region-block list, which allows foreign nations to sign up for the region-block to apply to their nation, keeping filth out. Sanctustube and other web sites that use region-blocking are required to prominently feature information on how to apply to be added to the region-block.

Still, many people in Saintland object to Sanctustube's decision to welcome videos that promote vice. Maria Verus, a Saint Petrus housewife, told the SP "I don't like it at all. Businessmen shouldn't be in the business of promoting immorality, even if they're just promoting immorality in wicked nations." Still, Mr. Liburnius says "We'd like to be able to make sure every video uploaded to our service promotes moral virtue, but we don't have the resources to monitor all of them. The best we can do is to at least try and restrict the filth to the God-forsaken nations that actually tolerate that trash." Should one of those God-forsaken nations conspire purposely to flood Sanctustube with immoral material without checking the region block, Mr. Liburnius told the SP that he would consider blocking that nation from his service entirely.

Sanctustube will be available in English, French, Spanish, German, Russian, Arabic and Chinese. Other languages will be added eventually. Sanctustube expects a major increase in foreign traffic and foreign ad revenue. Right now, it is impossible to know if these efforts will be successful, but they are ambitious and we can only wish the popular web site luck in its efforts to expand outside of the Kingdom and thwart the evil monopolists of ideas.

[Saintland]

Prince Petrus to go on World Tour

(SP) The heir to the Throne will soon embark on an unprecedented tour of the rest of the world. Prince Petrus, fresh off leading the Kingdom to the championship of Arena Bowl IV, will be traveling the world in an attempt to learn more about foreign cultures and promote international goodwill. The 23-year-old prince hopes to raise the profile of Saintland around the world and promote our values abroad. "This was entirely the Prince's idea. It was very difficult to persuade the King to permit [Prince] Petrus to go on this adventure, but he is a young man who wants to see the world and I doubt we could have stopped him from going. I know God will protect him from the evil-doers, but I'm still worried about his safety." - Queen Catharina

The Prince will be traveling with his own armed security. While there are no known threats against Prince Petrus's life, precautions are still necessary because there are plenty of terrorist groups in foreign lands that are anti-monarchist and/or anti-religious. Some of the King's advisers are said to have opposed the trip because they considered it too dangerous.

The SP has found out that Prince Petrus desires to learn about other nations. He apparently wants to know about their ways of life, their culture, their beliefs and their institutions. Some of the King's advisers are said to be wary that the Prince may embrace some foreign ways and prove himself unfit to be a King of Saintland. During the recent Arena Bowl, the Prince was involved in a controversy when he spoke to the SP and insulted a popular musical act. Still, most people close to the Royal family expect Prince Petrus to prove himself to be a capable King when his time to rule the Kingdom comes.

At this time, the SP cannot report what nations the Prince plans on visiting, but we have confirmed that he plans on visiting at least a dozen countries. Any foreign nation that wishes to arrange a visit from Prince Petrus is encouraged to contact the King's Government. "I'm looking forward to visiting many different nations. I want to learn more about the rest of the world so I can be a better King of our Blessed Kingdom. It will be nice to interact with people from other lands and hopefully promote awareness of Saintland's existence and a positive image for our Kingdom. There is much we can learn from the rest of the world. To those that are worried that I seek to undermine the moral virtue of our Kingdom, I want to reassure you that I believe that the teachings of the Church of Saintland are absolutely true and would never do anything to lower the moral standards of our great Kingdom. Just as there is much that we can learn from them, there is much they can learn from us. Isolation may have ended in 1788, but I believe we are still too isolated from the rest of the world at the present time and I hope my goodwill tour can change that." - Prince Petrus

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In Other News

St. Paulus beats St. Petrus 118-113 in basketball thriller
Cantus Virginum sells out Royal Square Garden again
Foreign resident youths arrested for fornication in St. Ioannes village

[Saintland]

Illegal protest shut down in St. Paulus

(SP) Many people in St. Paulus had trouble getting to Church this morning after an illegal protest blocked many city streets. A group calling themselves Feministvs Sanctvsterra blocked the streets of the Kingdom's largest city protesting for so-called "equality" between men and women. Many of them even denounced the Patriarch and shouted slogans about how the Church of Saintland and the King's Government "oppress" women. Needless to say, this vile protest was shut down by the St. Paulus Police, with some assistance from the Royal Army. 666 arrests were made. "I am appalled to learn of this disgraceful display. Most of the women in our Kingdom are ladies and they act with class. I hope these scandalous trollops are severely punished for their antics." - Queen Catharina

This is a wholly unprecedented event in the history of our Kingdom. The Saintland Press can report that this protest was the work of a very small and very vocal minority of wicked women whose views are diametrically opposed to those of virtually all ladies in our Kingdom. The King's Government is currently investigating Feministvs Sanctvsterra for evidence that this was a plot by foreigners. Rumor has it that Feministvs Sanctvsterra is a front for the World Assembly. Saintland Press can confirm that over 400 of the women arrested have been identified as foreign residents.

The illegal "women's" group began their protests at dawn this morning. They probably picked Sunday morning intentionally because they knew most of the city would be on their way to Church and would be exposed to their antics. They ranted and raved for hours about how the "Patriarchy," which is apparently a code-word for the Church, is supposedly "oppressing" women and depriving them of their "rights" under WA Resolution #35. The WA has no authority over the Kingdom because Saintland is not a member of that Godless organization. Meanwhile, the priests were left wondering why their Churches were empty on a Sunday morning. Eventually, the Jezebels were hauled off to jail, but it was already noon and the city of St. Paulus would have to attend special Church services during the afternoon.

Rumors have it that the police wasted no time informally punishing the "feminist" group's members after hauling them off to jail. There are also rumors that their fellow inmates didn't appreciate the nature of their crimes and apparently the authorities have promised to look the other way should any of their fellow inmates wish to dish out their own vigilante justice. So far, we do not know when their trial will be, but the King's Government is said to be determined to make an example out of them. We'll have more to report on this case as details emerge.

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In Other News

Scandal: Foreign resident school teaching sex education
More foreign resident youths arrested for fornication
Patriarch: King's Government must crack down on foreign resident immorality

[Saintland]

Editorial: King's Government should crack down on foreign resident immorality

(SP) Recently, the Kingdom has faced an epidemic of foreign residents openly behaving in an immoral manner. It started when a few youths were arrested in St. Ioannes village for fornicating. They were found engaging in that act of wickedness in a public park at 3 in the morning! They only got caught because a police officer happened to walk by the park and heard noises. In the last few days, numerous foreign resident youths have been arrested throughout the Kingdom for fornicating.

Normally, we would just chalk it up to the permissive parenting styles of foreigners and not think any more about it. However, the Saintland Press recently discovered that many foreign resident schools are teaching something called "sex education," which is apparently a class that teaches schoolchildren the proper fornication technique. We are certain that we speak for the vast virtuous majority of citizens of this righteous Kingdom when we say that something must be done about this plague of delinquency.

This past Sunday, the situation got even worse as Saintland experienced a protest by a "feminist" organization for the first time in the history of our Kingdom. This illegal protest by an illegal organization that seeks to make men and women the same was a truly disgraceful display. These trollops blocked the streets of St. Paulus, preventing the faithful from making it to Church on time. The Church of Saintland had to hold special afternoon services. The illegal organization denounced the "Patriarchy," which was obviously an open attack on the Church and on morality itself. After the police arrested these women of poor character, they discovered that most of the members of the organization were foreign residents.

The Saintland Press agrees wholeheartedly with the Patriarch of the True Church that the King's Government needs to crack down on wickedness among foreign residents. We recognize that the vast majority of foreign residents are decent people who obey our laws. We oppose the calls by some to forcibly assimilate foreign residents and we also oppose the calls to adopt restrictions on who can enter our Kingdom. We believe these proposals are far too harsh. Still, we recognize that something needs to be done.

It is our responsibility as Saintland's news agency to provide constructive suggestions for how the King's Government can fix this problem. We recommend that all foreign resident schools be required to submit their curriculum to the King's Government for approval. We believe that the autonomy of foreign resident schools should be maintained, but the King's Government should be allowed to ban schools from teaching "sex education" or from teaching anti-Sanctii or anti-Church propaganda. We also believe that the King's Government should adopt temporary measures that are necessary to restore discipline in foreign resident schools, with the threat that such measures will be made permanent if the foreign resident youths don't start behaving better. We also advise the King to consider quartering police or military in neighborhoods that are primarily made up of foreign residents, at least until His Majesty is confident that they have learned some morals.

If the King does not act soon, the Saintland Press predicts that this problem of foreign residents rebelling against morality itself will only get worse. If the King acts, the Saintland Press believes he can fix this problem and maintain most of the special rights that foreign residents are used to. The Saintland Press encourages the King to act before this rebellion spreads to the citizens of the Kingdom.

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In Other News

Soccer: St. Lucas village stuns St. Paulus 1-0, continues improbable run atop standings
Report: Femintvs Sanctvsterra plans to shut down St. Petrus next
World Assembly apparently will repeal the wretched "Marital Rape Justice Act"

[Saintland]

King Paulus XV issues decree to address recent foreign resident problems

(SP) A recent decree by King Paulus XV has led to an outpouring of support from the International community. Our great King took the advice of this newspaper and issued a decree to address the foreign resident immorality crisis. The King pretty much adopted our sensible proposal to address the problem. "I have been surprised by the response to my decree from foreign nations. Traditionally, foreign nations have not contacted my Government very often, but I have been deluged by messages from foreigners since I announced my decree. Every time I respond to 1 message, 2 more come in." - King Paulus XV

The King's decree adopted a number of measures to restore morality among the foreign resident population. The King's Government will now be required to approve the curriculum of all foreign resident schools before it can be taught. So-called "sex education" is banned in all forms from foreign resident schools. Anti-Sanctii or anti-Church of Saintland propaganda has also been explicitly banned. As a temporary measure, a monk or nun will be placed in every foreign resident school and will have full authority over disciplinary matters and full power to determine the rules of conduct at that school. From talking to a few of the monks and nuns, the Saintland Press can confirm that discipline will likely be very strict in foreign resident schools, likely even stricter than at Church of Saintland schools. Another temporary measure stations troops in neighborhoods where foreign residents make up a majority. These temporary measures will be rescinded when discipline is restored.

Additionally, the King advised foreign residents to keep a closer eye on their wives and children, under threat of deportation. Feministvs Sanctvsterra and other organizations of that ilk were explicitly banned. It is illegal to join, financially support or otherwise aid illegal organizations of that ilk. Those with knowledge of the members, supporters or plans of Feministvs Sanctvsterra and other similar organizations are now required by law to report that information to the authorities. Failure to do so is considered complicity with their crimes. The WA and other foreign anti-morality organizations have been banned from operating in Saintland, due to suspicions that they were behind Feministvs Sanctvsterra. The other day, the SP reported on Feministvs Sanctvsterra's plot to shut down St. Petrus. The police in the capitol are prepared and expect to arrest the members of the illegal organization quickly should they go through with their plans.

The Saintland Press thanks the nations of Valeria, Zeigenhain, Cruciland and Segland for their support of morality. It is heartening to know that there are other nations in the world that share our belief in morality and our opposition to the immoralistic elements. The Saintland Press can report that, although the international reaction was largely positive, there were some nations that did not react so positively. The SP can confirm that one World Assembly delegate threatened to invade our nation. King Paulus XV is already making plans to expand our military to better protect our nation. It is not anticipated that anybody that is employed, currently exempted or enrolled as a student at a university will be conscripted into the military.

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In Other News

Olympics: Saintland delegation marches in Parade of Nations for the first time ever
Saintland Press increases number of foreign correspondents
Students at foreign resident school upset at new rules imposed by nun

[Saintland]

Students go on strike at foreign resident school

(SP) In the latest chapter of the foreign resident immorality crisis, around half of the students at one of the most morally lax foreign resident schools went on strike to protest against the new school rules adopted by Sister Maria Polus, the nun assigned at that school by the Church. The school in question is the infamous Progress High School located in St. Ioannes village. The original youths arrested for fornication in a public park in the village were students at this school. "It is disappointing that a significant portion of the student body chose purposely to skip school this morning. The police were unaware of these plans and were unable to act to take these truants to school. Apparently, somebody called the police with a false report that Feministvs Sanctvsterra was planning a protest on the other side of the village today and all village police and military resources were dispatched to stop that most wicked organization from wreaking havoc. Everybody can rest assured that these truants will be back in school tomorrow and will be severely punished. I will not give in to the wicked, but will proceed with increased determination that the wickedness be cast out of these accursed sinners." - Sister Maria Polus

The ringleader of the strikers was a youth of Sililan nationality. The youths involved were from a myriad of different countries. Most of their nations of origin are known to be hostile to morality. However, it is doubtful that any foreign resident from a morally virtuous nation would send his kids to Progress High School in the first place.

The strikers spent the day causing scenes in the street protesting the "tyranny" of Sister Polus, the Church and the King. At one point, they showed up outside a local Church of Saintland school and started chanting blasphemous and seditious slogans. This didn't last long because a number of staff members at that school went outside and chased the delinquents away.

The strikers were protesting the new rules at Progress High School. Formerly a very lax school where students could basically wear whatever they want, use profane language however much they want and in general just act like delinquents, Sister Maria Polus set out immediately to change that. The students were outraged last week to discover that a uniform policy had been adopted. They were even more outraged when they found out about other new school rules. The new rules were slightly more strict than is commonplace at a Church of Saintland school. Students would be required to remain silent unless they have permission to speak. They would be required to proceed in orderly lines from class to class. They would be prohibited from engaging in any public displays of affection. Their workload would be doubled and would no longer be able to work on homework assignments if they finish their classwork early. Extracurricular activities would be shut down until further notice and each club or team would be required to apply to Sister Polus for reinstatement. The "sex education" class at the school was shut down and students enrolled in that class were to be enrolled in a Theology class instead, taught by Sister Polus. Worst of all from the perspective of the students, the discipline policy was re-written and was every bit as "barbaric" as the discipline at Church of Saintland schools. The Saintland Press wishes to give our strongest endorsement to Sister Polus and her methods for restoring discipline in the extremely lax school that was the cause of the recent problems in the first place.

It was actually surprising that so many students showed up to school and obeyed the rules, given that they are foreign residents from morally lax nations. Apparently, their parents must have decided to heed the King's decree and keep a closer eye on their children. It is also possible that many of these children realized that the days of moral laxity are over and it isn't worth fighting the inevitable. Unfortunately, the rest of their classmates weren't so sensible. The SP is confident that Sister Polus, along with the police and military, will put down the illegal strike tomorrow and severely punish those involved. The efforts to restore moral standards among the foreign resident population will not be denied.

Around the country, there were no other disturbances today. At the majority of foreign resident schools, the monk or nun found little or nothing that needed to be changed and discovered that the students were well-behaved youths. At other schools, a few measures were needed, but none of those measures were anywhere near as drastic as the ones adopted at Progress High School by Sister Polus. We at the SP applaud this finding and hope that the current crackdown will be successful.

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In Other News

Olympics Day 2: Pius Inventius finishes 18th, promises to medal next time
WA repeals Majority Rape Justice Act in stunning victory for morality
Prince Petrus announces plans to visit Olympic Games in Liventia

[Saintland]

OOC: I know I haven't posted any articles in a few weeks, but I need to get Prince Petrus back to Saintland to prepare for the Baptism of Iron.

Prince Petrus Returns to Saintland

(SP) The Heir to the Throne has returned home. Prince Petrus returned to the Kingdom of Saintland today. The 23-year-old Prince returned to the Kingdom as his personal yacht entered St. Petrus Harbor at 8:42 this morning. The entire capitol city stopped what they were doing and went out into the streets to welcome the Prince home. "I was relieved when my son, the Prince, made it home safely this morning. Unfortunately, he will not be able to rest because he has 2 very important gridiron tournaments coming up. He will need to assemble a national team and begin training immediately. I fear he keeps himself too busy, but he's an adult and he can take care of himself now." - Queen Catharina

Prince Petrus cut short his World Tour when he found out about our Kingdom's entry into the Baptism of Iron and the World Bowl. There was no chance that the world-class quarterback would waste time when he needs to be training and preparing for the most difficult tournaments he has ever participated in. Prince Petrus may be a world-traveller who enjoys learning about foreign cultures and he may be the next King of Saintland, but he is also the most dedicated gridiron player in the world. Nobody is more dedicated to the sport of gridiron and nobody is more determined to prove the superiority of the Kingdom of Saintland on the battlefield of international gridiron.

Early reports indicate that Prince Petrus intends to include every member of Saintland's Arena Bowl IV Championship squad on the Baptism of Iron entrant. Although that is a fairly impressive roster, that is not a sufficient roster for international rules gridiron. International rules has more resemblance to Saintland rules than to the Indoor game of Arena Bowl. That means Prince Petrus needs to recruit the rest of his team before he can even start training them.

The controversy Prince Petrus caused during his interview from the site of the VIII Winter Olympics in City Centre, Liventia has subsided for the most part over the past few weeks. Many in the Kingdom now regard Prince Petrus's offensive remarks in that interview as the spark that motivated the Sanctii athletes to win 3 medals at the Olympics. At the time this article was written, the outcome of the Gold Medal game in Ice Hockey remained in doubt. "I want to apologize for my comments during that interview on Royal One. They were out of line. I had consumed some adult beverages at that time and was not thinking clearly, but that does not excuse my actions. I apologize to our Kingdom's Olympic athletes. I apologize to the people of the Kingdom. I apologize to my father, the King. Most importantly, I apologize to my sweet little sister Maria for insulting her favorite musical group." - Prince Petrus

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In Other News

Editorial: Saintland's World Baseball Classic woes a consequence of our sins
VIII Winter Olympics: Saintland to play for Gold
Church of Saintland Study: Saintland has best education system in the world

[Saintland]

Creator of Sanctustube starts New File Storage Site

(SP) Today, Sanctustube creator Ioannes Liburnius announced plans to start another web site. Sanctusfile, which will be located at sanctusfile.pop.sanctvs, will be opening within the next week. Like Sanctustube, Sanctusfile will profit off of the lack of idea monopoly legislation in the Kingdom. "In the past few weeks, Sanctustube has become one of the most popular web sites in the world. We have become so successful that we now feel comfortable launching Sanctusfile. Sanctusfile will be a file hosting site with functionality similar to Sanctustube. We hope to continue to undermine the monopolists of ideas. We have set out to become the #1 file host on the Internet and we intend to do so." - Ioannes Liburnius

Be assured that Sanctusfile will also feature region-block technology to keep inappropriate content out of our Kingdom. Every file uploaded to Sanctusfile can be either public or private. Public files are added to a search engine and the uploaded is also encouraged to select a category because Sanctusfile will also have a file directory. Private files are not listed in the search engine or file directory and the uploader will be the only person (initially) to have access to the file link.

The SP can confirm other features for Sanctusfile. Sanctusfile will have technology installed that recognizes when a file is already uploaded to the server. That technology will create a new link for that file, saving time for uploaders and saving space on Sanctusfile's computers. Sanctusfile will offer free download speeds of around 500KB per second, with unlimited speed for premium accounts. Free users will only be allowed to download 1 file at a time and cannot resume downloads. Free users will also be limited to 7 GB of downloading per day, but if they are registered, they'll have the opportunity to roll over their daily download limit up to a maximum of 700 GB. Sanctusfile will feature an affiliate program, which will pay uploaders if their files are downloaded or if they refer somebody that buys a premium account.

Just like Sanctustube, Sanctusfile will be available in a wide array of foreign languages. Versions of Sanctusfile will be available in English, French, Spanish, German, Russian, Arabic and Chinese. Sanctusfile wants to be the preferred choice for file hosting in the world.

Premium accounts will be available for 1 Argentius per year. For the price of 5 Argentii, a lifetime premium account will be available. Files will remain available forever, regardless of the nature of their content, provided that inappropriate files are marked as region-blocked. The sole restriction will be on content that attacks the King's Government or the Church of Saintland. Such content, if discovered, will be deleted, along with the account that uploaded it. A similar policy is already in effect on Sanctustube, so this should come as no surprise for the users. The Saintland Press expresses our hopes that Sanctusfile will be as successful as Sanctustube and will prove a fatal blow to the would-be monopolists of ideas.

In Other News

Baptism of Fire LI: Saintland and Yakostan play to scoreless draw
WA proposes to repeal Reduction of Abortion Act because it may discourage baby-murdering
Rumor: Feministvs Sanctvsterra up to something

[Saintland]

Protectorate of Saintland WA formed

(SP) Our Righteous Kingdom has outsmarted these wicked foreigners at the WA. Today, King Paulus XV announced the creation of a new independent nation known as the Protectorate of Saintland WA. Saintland WA is located on an artificial island that was recently created by the King's Government. King Paulus XV appointed Prince Josephus as the Prince of Saintland WA and the only citizen of the new nation. "I was disappointed yesterday when Ancharmunn defeated us 4 goals to none in the 3rd place match of the World Championship in Field Hockey. Still, it was encouraging to finish 3rd in a new sport that we just learned a few weeks ago. After the match, I was informed by Iosue Alfenus of the Royal Networks that I have been named the Prince of the new nation of Saintland WA. This is a great honor and I am proud to be the ruler and sole citizen of a WA member nation. Now, I have a vote at the World Assembly. My first order of business is to vote for the Harmful Consumer Goods Act, which outlaws harmful consumer goods. It appears that the WA is going to vote this down and I condemn the WA for that. My other order of business is using my new WA powers to assist the revolution currently ongoing in The South Pacific, a region that has been oppressed by oligarchs for many years. While I may not see eye to eye with the communists that now run that region, they are the lesser evil since they are fighting against the anti-morality democratic imperialists that run most of the world. Saintland WA is committed to the destruction of those imperialist elements that seek to impose their immorality on everybody else." - Prince Josephus

Under WA rules, WA resolutions only apply to member nations, but WA members must bring their laws into line with all the WA's resolutions. That would mean "tolerating" numerous moral evils such as homosexuality and divorce. Thus the Kingdom of Saintland cannot join the WA. However, King Paulus XV is more clever than those evildoers. He has found a loophole that allows the Sanctii to have a voice at the WA and prevents the WA from imposing its legislation on our Kingdom.

In fact, the new Protectorate of Saintland WA is the first step toward our goal of the Kingdom of God on NationStates. After our successful efforts to promote our Kingdom through international sports, we now need to focus on the next step. It is time to ensure that God's Will be done in this world. It is time to take the world back from Satanas and his minions. It is time for the rest of the world to embrace God's Truth.

It is indeed written that one day the entire world shall embrace God's True Church and righteousness shall reign in this world for a thousand years. The millennium draws near. God's Truth marches on through the corridors of international power. This world was created by God. This world belongs to God. It is time to take it back, for God. God Wills it.

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In Other News

Prince Andreas leads 2nd half Miracle, Sanctii draw Hutt River 3-3
Saintland loses 4-0 to Ancharmunn, finishes 3rd at World Championship in Field Hockey
Feministvs Sanctvsterra protests Cup of Harmony

[Simisouri]

Illegal protest shut down in St. Paulus

(SP) Many people in St. Paulus had trouble getting to Church this morning after an illegal protest blocked many city streets. A group calling themselves Feministvs Sanctvsterra blocked the streets of the Kingdom's largest city protesting for so-called "equality" between men and women. Many of them even denounced the Patriarch and shouted slogans about how the Church of Saintland and the King's Government "oppress" women. Needless to say, this vile protest was shut down by the St. Paulus Police, with some assistance from the Royal Army. 666 arrests were made. "I am appalled to learn of this disgraceful display. Most of the women in our Kingdom are ladies and they act with class. I hope these scandalous trollops are severely punished for their antics." - Queen Catharina

This is a wholly unprecedented event in the history of our Kingdom. The Saintland Press can report that this protest was the work of a very small and very vocal minority of wicked women whose views are diametrically opposed to those of virtually all ladies in our Kingdom. The King's Government is currently investigating Feministvs Sanctvsterra for evidence that this was a plot by foreigners. Rumor has it that Feministvs Sanctvsterra is a front for the World Assembly. Saintland Press can confirm that over 400 of the women arrested have been identified as foreign residents.

The illegal "women's" group began their protests at dawn this morning. They probably picked Sunday morning intentionally because they knew most of the city would be on their way to Church and would be exposed to their antics. They ranted and raved for hours about how the "Patriarchy," which is apparently a code-word for the Church, is supposedly "oppressing" women and depriving them of their "rights" under WA Resolution #35. The WA has no authority over the Kingdom because Saintland is not a member of that Godless organization. Meanwhile, the priests were left wondering why their Churches were empty on a Sunday morning. Eventually, the Jezebels were hauled off to jail, but it was already noon and the city of St. Paulus would have to attend special Church services during the afternoon.

Rumors have it that the police wasted no time informally punishing the "feminist" group's members after hauling them off to jail. There are also rumors that their fellow inmates didn't appreciate the nature of their crimes and apparently the authorities have promised to look the other way should any of their fellow inmates wish to dish out their own vigilante justice. So far, we do not know when their trial will be, but the King's Government is said to be determined to make an example out of them. We'll have more to report on this case as details emerge.

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In Other News

Scandal: Foreign resident school teaching sex education
More foreign resident youths arrested for fornication
Patriarch: King's Government must crack down on foreign resident immorality

What your government is doing is highly wrong and unacceptable.. How can you crackdown on women who are protesting for their rights? Your nation should be suspended from the WA if you are actually a member.. Your nation lacks democracy..

[Simisouri]

Illegal protest shut down in St. Paulus

(SP) Many people in St. Paulus had trouble getting to Church this morning after an illegal protest blocked many city streets. A group calling themselves Feministvs Sanctvsterra blocked the streets of the Kingdom's largest city protesting for so-called "equality" between men and women. Many of them even denounced the Patriarch and shouted slogans about how the Church of Saintland and the King's Government "oppress" women. Needless to say, this vile protest was shut down by the St. Paulus Police, with some assistance from the Royal Army. 666 arrests were made. "I am appalled to learn of this disgraceful display. Most of the women in our Kingdom are ladies and they act with class. I hope these scandalous trollops are severely punished for their antics." - Queen Catharina

This is a wholly unprecedented event in the history of our Kingdom. The Saintland Press can report that this protest was the work of a very small and very vocal minority of wicked women whose views are diametrically opposed to those of virtually all ladies in our Kingdom. The King's Government is currently investigating Feministvs Sanctvsterra for evidence that this was a plot by foreigners. Rumor has it that Feministvs Sanctvsterra is a front for the World Assembly. Saintland Press can confirm that over 400 of the women arrested have been identified as foreign residents.

The illegal "women's" group began their protests at dawn this morning. They probably picked Sunday morning intentionally because they knew most of the city would be on their way to Church and would be exposed to their antics. They ranted and raved for hours about how the "Patriarchy," which is apparently a code-word for the Church, is supposedly "oppressing" women and depriving them of their "rights" under WA Resolution #35. The WA has no authority over the Kingdom because Saintland is not a member of that Godless organization. Meanwhile, the priests were left wondering why their Churches were empty on a Sunday morning. Eventually, the Jezebels were hauled off to jail, but it was already noon and the city of St. Paulus would have to attend special Church services during the afternoon.

Rumors have it that the police wasted no time informally punishing the "feminist" group's members after hauling them off to jail. There are also rumors that their fellow inmates didn't appreciate the nature of their crimes and apparently the authorities have promised to look the other way should any of their fellow inmates wish to dish out their own vigilante justice. So far, we do not know when their trial will be, but the King's Government is said to be determined to make an example out of them. We'll have more to report on this case as details emerge.

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More foreign resident youths arrested for fornication
Patriarch: King's Government must crack down on foreign resident immorality

What your government is doing is highly wrong and unacceptable.. How can you crackdown on women who are protesting for their rights? Your nation should be suspended from the WA if you are actually a member.. Your nation lacks democracy..