America Officially Rejects Death Star

[Constaniana]

The Death Star is a doomsday weapon built to obliterate entire planets. It is not meant to be beautiful; it is meant to be terrifying. It is not meant to be bare; it is meant to be drenched in the blood of uncountable billions. It is not meant to be clean; it is meant to be dirtied by the destruction of star systems.

Killing a person with something beautiful gives them happiness in their last moments.

"Sir, I had some new ideas for the Death Star project…"
"Oh, and what would those ideas be?"
" Ok, what if....we made the superlaser....shoot rainbows."

Later....

"Damn it to Kansas, the Empire's gonna kill us all!"
"Look on the bright side guys!"
"WHAT BRIGHT SIDE IS THERE 'YE WHORE TIT?!?!?"
"They're shooting rainbows at us."

[Prussia-Steinbach]

How much would you like to bet the first Republican gets elected President will try to build a Death Star to spite Obama?

I. Would. Love. That.

[Prussia-Steinbach]

Honestly, this petition is amusing, but shows exactly why cyber-democracy (and, to an extent, democracy), does not work.

[The Land Fomerly Known as Ligerplace]

Honestly, this petition is amusing, but shows exactly why cyber-democracy (and, to an extent, democracy), does not work.

It also shows why it's awesome.

[Ammar]

Republicans! Now's your chance to get Star Wars fanboys and fangirls on your boat. Your next canidate has to make one of his goals to build the Death Star(I'll settle for Space Colony ARK) and I will vote for that person on the spot.

[The Corparation]

Honestly, this petition is amusing, but shows exactly why cyber-democracy (and, to an extent, democracy), does not work. is amazing

fixed.

[Insane Kidney Mentality]

Do you know who has enough money to construct the Death Star? The Swiss.
Do you know who has enough technology to construct a particle laser cannon? The Swiss.
Do you know who will be the first to construct a massive particle laser cannon firing Death Star? The Swiss.

Good job, America. Now the Swiss shall rule the galaxy.

[United Islands of the Pacific]

The United States officially responded to an online petition asking that government to build a death star. (yes the one from Star Wars)
While refusing on the grounds of the cost of the project (allegedly $850 quadrillion), the United States government stated that the United States of America is adamantly opposed to blowing up planets that have people on them.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/20 ... ?hpt=hp_t3

I heard that no one alive today would see a Death Star, if it was ever built. It would take thousands of years to get the steel needed, and we don't have the technology to build it. The ISS was built over time, and is in a certain shape.

[Slarvainian]

Dont they know they could of applied the

"The regional governors now have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this battle station."

line to the rest of the world?

[Ammar]

Do you know who has enough money to construct the Death Star? The Swiss.
Do you know who has enough technology to construct a particle laser cannon? The Swiss.
Do you know who will be the first to construct a massive particle laser cannon firing Death Star? The Swiss.

Good job, America. Now the Swiss shall rule the galaxy.

I thought China would have the money for that.

[Wisconsin9]

The United States officially responded to an online petition asking that government to build a death star. (yes the one from Star Wars)
While refusing on the grounds of the cost of the project (allegedly $850 quadrillion), the United States government stated that the United States of America is adamantly opposed to blowing up planets that have people on them.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/20 ... ?hpt=hp_t3

I heard that no one alive today would see a Death Star, if it was ever built. It would take thousands of years to get the steel needed, and we don't have the technology to build it. The ISS was built over time, and is in a certain shape.

Bah. We'll just use replicators for the steel.

[AiliailiA]

"The administration does not support blowing up planets" is all they needed to say.

The full response doesn't get quoted in media sources, because it's a bit too long. Just a few too many examples of sciency stuff, and definitely too many Star Wars references.

Official White House Response to Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016.

This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For

By Paul Shawcross

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

However, look carefully (here's how) and you'll notice something already floating in the sky -- that's no Moon, it's a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts -- American, Russian, and Canadian -- living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We've also got two robot science labs -- one wielding a laser -- roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.

Keep in mind, space is no longer just government-only. Private American companies, through NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo -- and soon, crew -- to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade.

Even though the United States doesn't have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we've got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we're building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.

We don't have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.

We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country's future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.

If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Paul Shawcross is Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget

[Bojikami]

Guys.
Republican=Republic
Republic=Death star

Guys, the republicans are secretly working on it...

[Condunum]

I have a feeling the White House did this as a gesture of humor. With everything so damn tense and on edge, they might have done it to make people (Unlike you, obviously) laugh a little and think there is hope for this world.

You remind me of the teacher from Pink Floyd's 'The Wall'

Though you most likely hate it.

I like Pink Floyd, but Skrillex is better...irrelevant to the topic.

You listen to SKRILLEX and yet you have no sense of humor? I didn't think there was anyone on the scene without a sense if humor

[AiliailiA]

I heard that no one alive today would see a Death Star, if it was ever built. It would take thousands of years to get the steel needed, and we don't have the technology to build it. The ISS was built over time, and is in a certain shape.

Bah. We'll just use replicators for the steel.

Not enough replicators? We'll make a replicator replicator!

[Insane Kidney Mentality]

Do you know who has enough money to construct the Death Star? The Swiss.
Do you know who has enough technology to construct a particle laser cannon? The Swiss.
Do you know who will be the first to construct a massive particle laser cannon firing Death Star? The Swiss.

Good job, America. Now the Swiss shall rule the galaxy.

I thought China would have the money for that.

They might have the money, but how often do you hear about particles and atoms being smashed together underneath Beijing?

[Condunum]

Guys.
Republican=Republic
Republic=Death star

Guys, the republicans are secretly working on it...

Errrr, you're missing a few steps.

[Bojikami]

Guys.
Republican=Republic
Republic=Death star

Guys, the republicans are secretly working on it...

Errrr, you're missing a few steps.

Yea, I know.

[The Land Fomerly Known as Ligerplace]

Guys.
Republican=Republic
Republic=Death star

Guys, the republicans are secretly working on it...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_re ... _by_period

Point being that we lost that race to India.

[Fedeledland]

Excuse me Mr Wisconsin9, how do you expect the other nations to react to your daring and ambituos space exploration/weaponization plans? Are the rumors true, are we in fact in danger of a Death Star gap with the Russkie's?

My new go-to solution for every problem is "more Death Stars", up to and including abortion, gay marriage, gun control, and Chris Christie's weight.

Wisconsin9/Nationstatelandsville 2016

You'd get my vote if I was American anyways.

[Azrael]

Errrr, you're missing a few steps.

Yea, I know.

So, the Republicans will form an evil galactic empire?

[Insane Kidney Mentality]

Guys.
Republican=Republic
Republic=Death star

Guys, the republicans are secretly working on it...

Shit. He knows.

Better kick this into full gear, guys! Those Democrats can have the House, the Senate, hell, they can even have the entire country. However, the GOP shall have the universe within our hands! Muahahaha!

[Azrael]

My new go-to solution for every problem is "more Death Stars", up to and including abortion, gay marriage, gun control, and Chris Christie's weight.

Wisconsin9/Nationstatelandsville 2016

You'd get my vote if I was American anyways.

They'd get mine, but I'd still kick their asses in TF2 (take that, Nat and Wis).

[Benburger]

Are You people copying futurama? please do not wait til the year 3002!!!!!!!

[The Land Fomerly Known as Ligerplace]

Yea, I know.

So, the Republicans will form an evil galactic empire?

The point is that you have no proof they won't.