Elfen High 2 (OOC 3, Closed)

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Seriously though, I'll probably make these one-shots anyway because they're a surprising amount of fun, but you guys should post.

[Nude East Ireland]

I think Lucifer isn't really there. It's all a figment of Ivy's mind; she's coo-coo for choco puffs, being all broken down. Hell, I think even the Heaven thing was a hallucination. Ivy marked herself with the Cross, because she snapped. Being an Angel is impossible for her, and she couldn't handle the power and responsibility. She also couldn't take being a human, because she was trying to be an Angel. So she tried to abolish her own sins, and concocted the Lucifer and Priest events out of her own, twisted memories.

[Ende]

I think Lucifer isn't really there. It's all a figment of Ivy's mind; she's coo-coo for choco puffs, being all broken down. Hell, I think even the Heaven thing was a hallucination. Ivy marked herself with the Cross, because she snapped. Being an Angel is impossible for her, and she couldn't handle the power and responsibility. She also couldn't take being a human, because she was trying to be an Angel. So she tried to abolish her own sins, and concocted the Lucifer and Priest events out of her own, twisted memories.

This is what she thinks at the moment, actually, and I was in the middle of writing a post with that.

[Nationstatelandsville]

I think Lucifer isn't really there. It's all a figment of Ivy's mind; she's coo-coo for choco puffs, being all broken down. Hell, I think even the Heaven thing was a hallucination. Ivy marked herself with the Cross, because she snapped. Being an Angel is impossible for her, and she couldn't handle the power and responsibility. She also couldn't take being a human, because she was trying to be an Angel. So she tried to abolish her own sins, and concocted the Lucifer and Priest events out of her own, twisted memories.

Lucifer is a propagandic lie concocted by the angels to cover up the rise of the New Demons, who are really Yahweh's latest failed attempt at improving humanity. The shame is what made him disappear and Uriel altered everyone's memories with Magic Bullshit.

[Ende]

I think Lucifer isn't really there. It's all a figment of Ivy's mind; she's coo-coo for choco puffs, being all broken down. Hell, I think even the Heaven thing was a hallucination. Ivy marked herself with the Cross, because she snapped. Being an Angel is impossible for her, and she couldn't handle the power and responsibility. She also couldn't take being a human, because she was trying to be an Angel. So she tried to abolish her own sins, and concocted the Lucifer and Priest events out of her own, twisted memories.

Lucifer is a propagandic lie concocted by the angels to cover up the rise of the New Demons, who are really Yahweh's latest failed attempt at improving humanity. The shame is what made him disappear and Uriel altered everyone's memories with Magic Bullshit.

Take off the tinfoil hat, Nat.

It just looks ridiculous.

[Nude East Ireland]

I think Lucifer isn't really there. It's all a figment of Ivy's mind; she's coo-coo for choco puffs, being all broken down. Hell, I think even the Heaven thing was a hallucination. Ivy marked herself with the Cross, because she snapped. Being an Angel is impossible for her, and she couldn't handle the power and responsibility. She also couldn't take being a human, because she was trying to be an Angel. So she tried to abolish her own sins, and concocted the Lucifer and Priest events out of her own, twisted memories.

This is what she thinks at the moment, actually, and I was in the middle of writing a post with that.

My work here is done.

TO THE THEORYMOBILE!

I think Lucifer isn't really there. It's all a figment of Ivy's mind; she's coo-coo for choco puffs, being all broken down. Hell, I think even the Heaven thing was a hallucination. Ivy marked herself with the Cross, because she snapped. Being an Angel is impossible for her, and she couldn't handle the power and responsibility. She also couldn't take being a human, because she was trying to be an Angel. So she tried to abolish her own sins, and concocted the Lucifer and Priest events out of her own, twisted memories.

Lucifer is a propagandic lie concocted by the angels to cover up the rise of the New Demons, who are really Yahweh's latest failed attempt at improving humanity. The shame is what made him disappear and Uriel altered everyone's memories with Magic Bullshit.

I, for once, am being serious with that theory. Ivy couldn't handle the stress of being an Angel, or the fact that, as a natural human, she is born with sin. So she hallucinated. She thought she saw Lucifer. And for her sins, she branded herself with a Cross, and hallucinated a Priest forcing it upon her.

Which, in reality, is much more depressing and terrifying.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Fixban sighed. "This is a strange kid we have here."

"He isn't exactly a kid." Loki noted. "He's old. God knows how old. Don't let those young looks fool you. Something is up with that guy."

Richard shrugged. "Trust me. The boy has worth."

"He is powerful, I will not deny that." Fixban said. "But...I feel wary about letting him out to fight out in the open. He's innocent now, allowing him to be corrupted. The world outside...it is dangerous. Unsafe. It will not be good on a lad."

Loki shrugged. "He has to deal with it eventually. Maybe now is best anyway. Besides, I have your back."

Fixban smiled. "Yes, you've been a dependable friend."

"Aren't you worried though?" Loki asked in a whisper after Richard left. "Doesn't Richard's prophecy...Do you still trust me despite what he has predicted I will do?"

Fixban paused. "Ultimately, Loki, many things will or won't happen. If you do betray us like Richard predicted, then I will regret it. But for the last thousand years you have been a good and reliable ally." he put his hand on Loki's shoulder. "For now, I do trust you."

Loki laughed. "I will choose to take that as the other kind of trust then-"

"I don't get it." A handsome young man said, appearing out of thin air.

Fixban chuckled. "Have you been there all this time then?" he asked, smiling.

"Yeah." the young man said defiantly. "But I don't get the joke..."

Loki and Fixban looked at each other and laughed. "Well, one day you will, kid." he said. "But first, let's take you out on your first mission. I know you don't formally have a name yet, but Richard said you'll eventually be called Aleister Crowley. May as well start saying that now then. Come on, Al. We got a few things to do. There's a world out there we need to save."

"I'm ready then." the young man said. "But it won't be too dangerous, right?"

"Dangerous? Nah, kid. You got me."

[Nationstatelandsville]

Fixban sighed. "This is a strange kid we have here."

"He isn't exactly a kid." Loki noted. "He's old. God knows how old. Don't let those young looks fool you. Something is up with that guy."

Richard shrugged. "Trust me. The boy has worth."

"He is powerful, I will not deny that." Fixban said. "But...I feel wary about letting him out to fight out in the open. He's innocent now, allowing him to be corrupted. The world outside...it is dangerous. Unsafe. It will not be good on a lad."

Loki shrugged. "He has to deal with it eventually. Maybe now is best anyway. Besides, I have your back."

Fixban smiled. "Yes, you've been a dependable friend."

"Aren't you worried though?" Loki asked in a whisper after Richard left. "Doesn't Richard's prophecy...Do you still trust me despite what he has predicted I will do?"

Fixban paused. "Ultimately, Loki, many things will or won't happen. If you do betray us like Richard predicted, then I will regret it. But for the last thousand years you have been a good and reliable ally." he put his hand on Loki's shoulder. "For now, I do trust you."

Loki laughed. "I will choose to take that as the other kind of trust then-"

"I don't get it." A handsome young man said, appearing out of thin air.

Fixban chuckled. "Have you been there all this time then?" he asked, smiling.

"Yeah." the young man said defiantly. "But I don't get the joke..."

Loki and Fixban looked at each other and laughed. "Well, one day you will, kid." he said. "But first, let's take you out on your first mission. I know you don't formally have a name yet, but Richard said you'll eventually be called Aleister Crowley. May as well start saying that now then. Come on, Al. We got a few things to do. There's a world out there we need to save."

"I'm ready then." the young man said. "But it won't be too dangerous, right?"

"Dangerous? Nah, kid. You got me."

Loki is now played by Sir Ian McKellen.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

So with the armour off, Damien is back to his old stats, correct?

And less susceptible to Morgan's mind control?

[Nightkill the Emperor]

So with the armour off, Damien is back to his old stats, correct?

And less susceptible to Morgan's mind control?

No, the sword gives him the stat boosts.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Fixban sighed. "This is a strange kid we have here."

"He isn't exactly a kid." Loki noted. "He's old. God knows how old. Don't let those young looks fool you. Something is up with that guy."

Richard shrugged. "Trust me. The boy has worth."

"He is powerful, I will not deny that." Fixban said. "But...I feel wary about letting him out to fight out in the open. He's innocent now, allowing him to be corrupted. The world outside...it is dangerous. Unsafe. It will not be good on a lad."

Loki shrugged. "He has to deal with it eventually. Maybe now is best anyway. Besides, I have your back."

Fixban smiled. "Yes, you've been a dependable friend."

"Aren't you worried though?" Loki asked in a whisper after Richard left. "Doesn't Richard's prophecy...Do you still trust me despite what he has predicted I will do?"

Fixban paused. "Ultimately, Loki, many things will or won't happen. If you do betray us like Richard predicted, then I will regret it. But for the last thousand years you have been a good and reliable ally." he put his hand on Loki's shoulder. "For now, I do trust you."

Loki laughed. "I will choose to take that as the other kind of trust then-"

"I don't get it." A handsome young man said, appearing out of thin air.

Fixban chuckled. "Have you been there all this time then?" he asked, smiling.

"Yeah." the young man said defiantly. "But I don't get the joke..."

Loki and Fixban looked at each other and laughed. "Well, one day you will, kid." he said. "But first, let's take you out on your first mission. I know you don't formally have a name yet, but Richard said you'll eventually be called Aleister Crowley. May as well start saying that now then. Come on, Al. We got a few things to do. There's a world out there we need to save."

"I'm ready then." the young man said. "But it won't be too dangerous, right?"

"Dangerous? Nah, kid. You got me."

Loki is now played by Sir Ian McKellen.

I'm not sure how Loki is Gandalf.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

So with the armour off, Damien is back to his old stats, correct?

And less susceptible to Morgan's mind control?

No, the sword gives him the stat boosts.

He threw away the sword.

[Ende]

No, the sword gives him the stat boosts.

He threw away the sword.

Wait, the sword gives him powers?

That's ridiculous.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

No, the sword gives him the stat boosts.

He threw away the sword.

Then yes.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Loki is now played by Sir Ian McKellen.

I'm not sure how Loki is Gandalf.

Magneto.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

I'm not sure how Loki is Gandalf.

Magneto.

That makes more sense.

For whatever reason, I keep thinking of Fixban as Liam Neeson.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Good man!

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

Hey guys, remember what happened to EH1 Calliel and his right eye?

[Nightkill the Emperor]

He threw away the sword.

Wait, the sword gives him powers?

That's ridiculous.

This sword is the brother of Gram and Excalibur.

It is said to be older than the Earth and possibly the universe, some rumour the omniverse itself.

So not really.

[Ende]

Wait, the sword gives him powers?

That's ridiculous.

This sword is the brother of Gram and Excalibur.

It is said to be older than the Earth and possibly the universe, some rumour the omniverse itself.

And she's giving it to Damien.

<facepalm>

[Nude East Ireland]

Crowley sighed. "Why... how... fuck," he muttered. His office, enough of a clusterfuck already, was filled with Richard, a chained Loki, and a now undead Fixban.

"It, uh, wasn't me," Loki said, as he struggled with his enchanted chains. Richard promptly smacked him with his broom.

"I was sweeping some shit in the graveyard," Richard began. "When I saw this character digging around."

"We have a graveyard?" Crowley asked. Richard nodded. "Clean it every third Friday," he noted, for no apparent reason. Crowley was... suspicious... of the janitor. To say the least.

"BRAAAAAAAAAINS!" Fixban cried. Richard kicked him into a chair, and the undead wizard struggled to even sit up straight. Crowley sighed.

"Well, this is great. At least this isn't like that show on AMC. We'd all be dead," Crowley replied.

"Indeed," Richard mused. "By the way, the- AHHH, FUCK!"

Undead Fixban bit into Richard's neck, and chewed it up. Crowley stood, and looked down. "Jesus..."

Loki looked at Crowley. "No time, he's too busy jacking off twelve men in a cave!" Crowley stared. Loki sighed. "Look, free me and we'll get- FUCK!"

The newly-turned Richard bit into Loki's ankle. The god tried to kick the janitor off, but he was chained. Fixban rose, and then fell again, bringing Loki to the ground as they both devoured the god. Crowley sighed. "Fuck me," he said.

Grabbing a shotgun from underneath his desk, Crowley blew out the window, and jumped out. He landed on the ground, and sighed. Ahead of him was an entire school, the students of which had no idea that zombies were raping the school faculty. He cocked the shotgun, and smiled. Just as he did, Lewis arrived, wearing a tattered cowboy duster and a red bandanna wrapped around his head. Minh was also with Lewis, with a cybernetic arm. Crowley shrugged.

"Well boys," he began. "We've got some zombies to fuck."

And they walked into the sunset, shotguns ablaze.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

This sword is the brother of Gram and Excalibur.

It is said to be older than the Earth and possibly the universe, some rumour the omniverse itself.

And she's giving it to Damien.

<facepalm>

The Fae thought he was under control.

They also don't plan ahead and tend to be surprised that humans can do intelligent things.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

Y'know, if it wasn't for the sword completely screwing with Damien's intelligence and making him only slightly smarter than Lazrian, this entire plan wouldn't have worked.

EH James has manipulated Damien and his counterpart from the moment Ganesh gave them their mission, and it worked absolutely beautifully.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Crowley sighed. "Why... how... fuck," he muttered. His office, enough of a clusterfuck already, was filled with Richard, a chained Loki, and a now undead Fixban.

"It, uh, wasn't me," Loki said, as he struggled with his enchanted chains. Richard promptly smacked him with his broom.

"I was sweeping some shit in the graveyard," Richard began. "When I saw this character digging around."

"We have a graveyard?" Crowley asked. Richard nodded. "Clean it every third Friday," he noted, for no apparent reason. Crowley was... suspicious... of the janitor. To say the least.

"BRAAAAAAAAAINS!" Fixban cried. Richard kicked him into a chair, and the undead wizard struggled to even sit up straight. Crowley sighed.

"Well, this is great. At least this isn't like that show on AMC. We'd all be dead," Crowley replied.

"Indeed," Richard mused. "By the way, the- AHHH, FUCK!"

Undead Fixban bit into Richard's neck, and chewed it up. Crowley stood, and looked down. "Jesus..."

Loki looked at Crowley. "No time, he's too busy jacking off twelve men in a cave!" Crowley stared. Loki sighed. "Look, free me and we'll get- FUCK!"

The newly-turned Richard bit into Loki's ankle. The god tried to kick the janitor off, but he was chained. Fixban rose, and then fell again, bringing Loki to the ground as they both devoured the god. Crowley sighed. "Fuck me," he said.

Grabbing a shotgun from underneath his desk, Crowley blew out the window, and jumped out. He landed on the ground, and sighed. Ahead of him was an entire school, the students of which had no idea that zombies were raping the school faculty. He cocked the shotgun, and smiled. Just as he did, Lewis arrived, wearing a tattered cowboy duster and a red bandanna wrapped around his head. Minh was also with Lewis, with a cybernetic arm. Crowley shrugged.

"Well boys," he began. "We've got some zombies to fuck."

And they walked into the sunset, shotguns ablaze.

This is so badass that any man who reads this immediately feels his dick grow a decimetre.

[Ende]

Well, that was unexpected.