Elfen High 2 (OOC 3, Closed)

[Nightkill the Emperor]

"So what the hell are you doing outside my computer?" The Indian man asked in only mild surprise when he saw the British fellow sitting in his kitchen drinking some wine in a glass. Crowley glanced up at the Indian.

"It was boring in there. Want some? It's a special occasion, feel free to indulge a bit." Crowley asked, offering a glass.

Khan shrugged, taking a glass and sipping it. "It's lost a bit of taste for me as of late." he said, placing it on the table. "So, what are you here for?"

"I told you, it was boring in the computer, especially when you weren't posting." Crowley said. "So, this must be an awkward conversation for you, in a sense. You're really just talking to yourself."

"Not exactly, if that makes sense. Sure, it's somewhat like talking to myself, but you're not exactly me. You have a life of your own in a sense now." Khan noted. "I've created a monster."

"I saved your bloody life, don't bitch." Crowley replied.

Khan raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Do tell me how you saved my life, fictional creation of mine."

"Gave you a bit of hope and shit, right? Let's face it, before June 15th you weren't totally in the best state. Hell, if you didn't decide to get a bit of your stress out with me, you've had gotten it out in a different way." the British wizard replied. "Now, sure I wasn't the biggest cause for you deciding to try in life again instead of lying around in an empty apartment smoking weed, cybering with strangers and considering borrowing a friend's gun, but give some credit where credit's due. I helped."

Khan paused. "Yeah. I suppose you did. You weren't the only one though."

Crowley sighed. "Trying to hurt my ego, huh? Yes, yes, I do suppose I wasn't. I'm not Elfen High all by myself. I guess that those...players need to be given some of the credit here." he grudgingly admitted. "Not too much though."

Khan laughed. "No, not too much. But maybe a bit more than you're willing to give." he said. "You planning on staying the night?"

"I'm always in your fucking head one way or another. It's a messed up place. Jesus Christ man, the shit I've seen..."

"I'm cleaning it up a bit."

"Oh, it's a much better place to live in now than it was two years ago." he replied. "Yep, seems like you're a bit better now mentally and on the exterior." The Brit looked around. "Example one. You live in an actual, honest to god house that won't collapse on you in the night. Example two, you appear to have become a family man. Example three, your dick hasn't shrunk a millimetre."

"I was worried this would become some touchy-feely bullshit." came the dry response.

"Well, it's still a nice sized dick. Feel free to shove it up my ass if you want. I got nothing better to do."

"I'm married now man, I don't do that with a figment of my subconscious anymore-"

"And now we can already see the fucking change in your psyche. You owe me a favour."

"...You made someone more morally sane and sound?"

"I'm rather not happy about the prospect either, but I figure it lets me enjoy my life as a roleplay character longer if you enjoy your life as a real life character longer as well."

Khan laughed again while Crowley got up. "In any case, I think I'll leave now, Khan. Got bitches to fuck and cunts to beat up. You should post so I can get to that."

"I'll get around to posting. You improved my life's quality, so let me enjoy that quality a bit, will you?"

"Fuck you, fine." Crowley said, opening the door and starting to walk out. Khan paused and then shouted out.

"Fuck it, Crowley!"

"What?"

"Get back in and get the lube. I'll do you that favour right now. Thanks for saving my life."

"Merry fucking Christmas to you too, Khan."

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

"So what the hell are you doing outside my computer?" The Indian man asked in only mild surprise when he saw the British fellow sitting in his kitchen drinking some wine in a glass. Crowley glanced up at the Indian.

"It was boring in there. Want some? It's a special occasion, feel free to indulge a bit." Crowley asked, offering a glass.

Khan shrugged, taking a glass and sipping it. "It's lost a bit of taste for me as of late." he said, placing it on the table. "So, what are you here for?"

"I told you, it was boring in the computer, especially when you weren't posting." Crowley said. "So, this must be an awkward conversation for you, in a sense. You're really just talking to yourself."

"Not exactly, if that makes sense. Sure, it's somewhat like talking to myself, but you're not exactly me. You have a life of your own in a sense now." Khan noted. "I've created a monster."

"I saved your bloody life, don't bitch." Crowley replied.

Khan raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Do tell me how you saved my life, fictional creation of mine."

"Gave you a bit of hope and shit, right? Let's face it, before June 15th you weren't totally in the best state. Hell, if you didn't decide to get a bit of your stress out with me, you've had gotten it out in a different way." the British wizard replied. "Now, sure I wasn't the biggest cause for you deciding to try in life again instead of lying around in an empty apartment smoking weed, cybering with strangers and considering borrowing a friend's gun, but give some credit where credit's due. I helped."

Khan paused. "Yeah. I suppose you did. You weren't the only one though."

Crowley sighed. "Trying to hurt my ego, huh? Yes, yes, I do suppose I wasn't. I'm not Elfen High all by myself. I guess that those...players need to be given some of the credit here." he grudgingly admitted. "Not too much though."

Khan laughed. "No, not too much. But maybe a bit more than you're willing to give." he said. "You planning on staying the night?"

"I'm always in your fucking head one way or another. It's a messed up place. Jesus Christ man, the shit I've seen..."

"I'm cleaning it up a bit."

"Oh, it's a much better place to live in now than it was two years ago." he replied. "Yep, seems like you're a bit better now mentally and on the exterior." The Brit looked around. "Example one. You live in an actual, honest to god house that won't collapse on you in the night. Example two, you appear to have become a family man. Example three, your dick hasn't shrunk a millimetre."

"I was worried this would become some touchy-feely bullshit." came the dry response.

"Well, it's still a nice sized dick. Feel free to shove it up my ass if you want. I got nothing better to do."

"I'm married now man, I don't do that with a figment of my subconscious anymore-"

"And now we can already see the fucking change in your psyche. You owe me a favour."

"...You made someone more morally sane and sound?"

"I'm rather not happy about the prospect either, but I figure it lets me enjoy my life as a roleplay character longer if you enjoy your life as a real life character longer as well."

Khan laughed again while Crowley got up. "In any case, I think I'll leave now, Khan. Got bitches to fuck and cunts to beat up. You should post so I can get to that."

"I'll get around to posting. You improved my life's quality, so let me enjoy that quality a bit, will you?"

"Fuck you, fine." Crowley said, opening the door and starting to walk out. Khan paused and then shouted out.

"Fuck it, Crowley!"

"What?"

"Get back in and get the lube. I'll do you that favour right now. Thanks for saving my life."

"Merry fucking Christmas to you too, Khan."

[The Inritus Extraho]

"So what the hell are you doing outside my computer?" The Indian man asked in only mild surprise when he saw the British fellow sitting in his kitchen drinking some wine in a glass. Crowley glanced up at the Indian.

"It was boring in there. Want some? It's a special occasion, feel free to indulge a bit." Crowley asked, offering a glass.

Khan shrugged, taking a glass and sipping it. "It's lost a bit of taste for me as of late." he said, placing it on the table. "So, what are you here for?"

"I told you, it was boring in the computer, especially when you weren't posting." Crowley said. "So, this must be an awkward conversation for you, in a sense. You're really just talking to yourself."

"Not exactly, if that makes sense. Sure, it's somewhat like talking to myself, but you're not exactly me. You have a life of your own in a sense now." Khan noted. "I've created a monster."

"I saved your bloody life, don't bitch." Crowley replied.

Khan raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Do tell me how you saved my life, fictional creation of mine."

"Gave you a bit of hope and shit, right? Let's face it, before June 15th you weren't totally in the best state. Hell, if you didn't decide to get a bit of your stress out with me, you've had gotten it out in a different way." the British wizard replied. "Now, sure I wasn't the biggest cause for you deciding to try in life again instead of lying around in an empty apartment smoking weed, cybering with strangers and considering borrowing a friend's gun, but give some credit where credit's due. I helped."

Khan paused. "Yeah. I suppose you did. You weren't the only one though."

Crowley sighed. "Trying to hurt my ego, huh? Yes, yes, I do suppose I wasn't. I'm not Elfen High all by myself. I guess that those...players need to be given some of the credit here." he grudgingly admitted. "Not too much though."

Khan laughed. "No, not too much. But maybe a bit more than you're willing to give." he said. "You planning on staying the night?"

"I'm always in your fucking head one way or another. It's a messed up place. Jesus Christ man, the shit I've seen..."

"I'm cleaning it up a bit."

"Oh, it's a much better place to live in now than it was two years ago." he replied. "Yep, seems like you're a bit better now mentally and on the exterior." The Brit looked around. "Example one. You live in an actual, honest to god house that won't collapse on you in the night. Example two, you appear to have become a family man. Example three, your dick hasn't shrunk a millimetre."

"I was worried this would become some touchy-feely bullshit." came the dry response.

"Well, it's still a nice sized dick. Feel free to shove it up my ass if you want. I got nothing better to do."

"I'm married now man, I don't do that with a figment of my subconscious anymore-"

"And now we can already see the fucking change in your psyche. You owe me a favour."

"...You made someone more morally sane and sound?"

"I'm rather not happy about the prospect either, but I figure it lets me enjoy my life as a roleplay character longer if you enjoy your life as a real life character longer as well."

Khan laughed again while Crowley got up. "In any case, I think I'll leave now, Khan. Got bitches to fuck and cunts to beat up. You should post so I can get to that."

"I'll get around to posting. You improved my life's quality, so let me enjoy that quality a bit, will you?"

"Fuck you, fine." Crowley said, opening the door and starting to walk out. Khan paused and then shouted out.

"Fuck it, Crowley!"

"What?"

"Get back in and get the lube. I'll do you that favour right now. Thanks for saving my life."

"Merry fucking Christmas to you too, Khan."

Approved. I expect Crowley to reference this in-canon.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

"So what the hell are you doing outside my computer?" The Indian man asked in only mild surprise when he saw the British fellow sitting in his kitchen drinking some wine in a glass. Crowley glanced up at the Indian.

"It was boring in there. Want some? It's a special occasion, feel free to indulge a bit." Crowley asked, offering a glass.

Khan shrugged, taking a glass and sipping it. "It's lost a bit of taste for me as of late." he said, placing it on the table. "So, what are you here for?"

"I told you, it was boring in the computer, especially when you weren't posting." Crowley said. "So, this must be an awkward conversation for you, in a sense. You're really just talking to yourself."

"Not exactly, if that makes sense. Sure, it's somewhat like talking to myself, but you're not exactly me. You have a life of your own in a sense now." Khan noted. "I've created a monster."

"I saved your bloody life, don't bitch." Crowley replied.

Khan raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Do tell me how you saved my life, fictional creation of mine."

"Gave you a bit of hope and shit, right? Let's face it, before June 15th you weren't totally in the best state. Hell, if you didn't decide to get a bit of your stress out with me, you've had gotten it out in a different way." the British wizard replied. "Now, sure I wasn't the biggest cause for you deciding to try in life again instead of lying around in an empty apartment smoking weed, cybering with strangers and considering borrowing a friend's gun, but give some credit where credit's due. I helped."

Khan paused. "Yeah. I suppose you did. You weren't the only one though."

Crowley sighed. "Trying to hurt my ego, huh? Yes, yes, I do suppose I wasn't. I'm not Elfen High all by myself. I guess that those...players need to be given some of the credit here." he grudgingly admitted. "Not too much though."

Khan laughed. "No, not too much. But maybe a bit more than you're willing to give." he said. "You planning on staying the night?"

"I'm always in your fucking head one way or another. It's a messed up place. Jesus Christ man, the shit I've seen..."

"I'm cleaning it up a bit."

"Oh, it's a much better place to live in now than it was two years ago." he replied. "Yep, seems like you're a bit better now mentally and on the exterior." The Brit looked around. "Example one. You live in an actual, honest to god house that won't collapse on you in the night. Example two, you appear to have become a family man. Example three, your dick hasn't shrunk a millimetre."

"I was worried this would become some touchy-feely bullshit." came the dry response.

"Well, it's still a nice sized dick. Feel free to shove it up my ass if you want. I got nothing better to do."

"I'm married now man, I don't do that with a figment of my subconscious anymore-"

"And now we can already see the fucking change in your psyche. You owe me a favour."

"...You made someone more morally sane and sound?"

"I'm rather not happy about the prospect either, but I figure it lets me enjoy my life as a roleplay character longer if you enjoy your life as a real life character longer as well."

Khan laughed again while Crowley got up. "In any case, I think I'll leave now, Khan. Got bitches to fuck and cunts to beat up. You should post so I can get to that."

"I'll get around to posting. You improved my life's quality, so let me enjoy that quality a bit, will you?"

"Fuck you, fine." Crowley said, opening the door and starting to walk out. Khan paused and then shouted out.

"Fuck it, Crowley!"

"What?"

"Get back in and get the lube. I'll do you that favour right now. Thanks for saving my life."

"Merry fucking Christmas to you too, Khan."

"So what the hell are you doing outside my computer?" The Indian man asked in only mild surprise when he saw the British fellow sitting in his kitchen drinking some wine in a glass. Crowley glanced up at the Indian.

"It was boring in there. Want some? It's a special occasion, feel free to indulge a bit." Crowley asked, offering a glass.

Khan shrugged, taking a glass and sipping it. "It's lost a bit of taste for me as of late." he said, placing it on the table. "So, what are you here for?"

"I told you, it was boring in the computer, especially when you weren't posting." Crowley said. "So, this must be an awkward conversation for you, in a sense. You're really just talking to yourself."

"Not exactly, if that makes sense. Sure, it's somewhat like talking to myself, but you're not exactly me. You have a life of your own in a sense now." Khan noted. "I've created a monster."

"I saved your bloody life, don't bitch." Crowley replied.

Khan raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Do tell me how you saved my life, fictional creation of mine."

"Gave you a bit of hope and shit, right? Let's face it, before June 15th you weren't totally in the best state. Hell, if you didn't decide to get a bit of your stress out with me, you've had gotten it out in a different way." the British wizard replied. "Now, sure I wasn't the biggest cause for you deciding to try in life again instead of lying around in an empty apartment smoking weed, cybering with strangers and considering borrowing a friend's gun, but give some credit where credit's due. I helped."

Khan paused. "Yeah. I suppose you did. You weren't the only one though."

Crowley sighed. "Trying to hurt my ego, huh? Yes, yes, I do suppose I wasn't. I'm not Elfen High all by myself. I guess that those...players need to be given some of the credit here." he grudgingly admitted. "Not too much though."

Khan laughed. "No, not too much. But maybe a bit more than you're willing to give." he said. "You planning on staying the night?"

"I'm always in your fucking head one way or another. It's a messed up place. Jesus Christ man, the shit I've seen..."

"I'm cleaning it up a bit."

"Oh, it's a much better place to live in now than it was two years ago." he replied. "Yep, seems like you're a bit better now mentally and on the exterior." The Brit looked around. "Example one. You live in an actual, honest to god house that won't collapse on you in the night. Example two, you appear to have become a family man. Example three, your dick hasn't shrunk a millimetre."

"I was worried this would become some touchy-feely bullshit." came the dry response.

"Well, it's still a nice sized dick. Feel free to shove it up my ass if you want. I got nothing better to do."

"I'm married now man, I don't do that with a figment of my subconscious anymore-"

"And now we can already see the fucking change in your psyche. You owe me a favour."

"...You made someone more morally sane and sound?"

"I'm rather not happy about the prospect either, but I figure it lets me enjoy my life as a roleplay character longer if you enjoy your life as a real life character longer as well."

Khan laughed again while Crowley got up. "In any case, I think I'll leave now, Khan. Got bitches to fuck and cunts to beat up. You should post so I can get to that."

"I'll get around to posting. You improved my life's quality, so let me enjoy that quality a bit, will you?"

"Fuck you, fine." Crowley said, opening the door and starting to walk out. Khan paused and then shouted out.

"Fuck it, Crowley!"

"What?"

"Get back in and get the lube. I'll do you that favour right now. Thanks for saving my life."

"Merry fucking Christmas to you too, Khan."

Approved. I expect Crowley to reference this in-canon.

Yuzuki and Crowley are exchanging tidbits about their sex life.

Crowley: "I fucking went to the real world and got the author to shove his dick up my ass."
Yuzuki shuts up.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

Approved. I expect Crowley to reference this in-canon.

Yuzuki and Crowley are exchanging tidbits about their sex life.

Crowley: "I fucking went to the real world and got the author to shove his dick up my ass."
Yuzuki shuts up.

James talking about his previous career.
"While I didn't do it, I got the version of the author in our universe blown up along with his wife and son.

Also I murdered my own creator."
Crowley promptly shuts up.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Yuzuki and Crowley are exchanging tidbits about their sex life.

Crowley: "I fucking went to the real world and got the author to shove his dick up my ass."
Yuzuki shuts up.

James talking about his previous career.
"While I didn't do it, I got the version of the author in our universe blown up along with his wife and son.

Also I murdered my own creator."
Crowley promptly shuts up.

Crowley: "I'm the reason we exist."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

The fire sizzled, and cracked. The barkeep wiped the counter, as the small group kept silent. Crowley sipped his scotch, and sighed. Another year was gone. He liked this Scottish bar. He might come here more often. There was a silent sobbing, he noticed, and it disturbed him a little. Christmas was happy, even for him. Somewhat. He looked around, scanning the room until he noticed a small child, sitting in the corner alone. Tears were running down the boy's face.

Crowley stood, and made his way across the room, through the tables and chairs. Normally he'd teleport, but it'd raise suspicion. Humans didn't know that he was a wizard, after all.

The Brit pulled up a chair, and sat down next to the boy. He smiled. " 'Ello," he said. The boy sniffed.

"H- hi."

"What's wrong, kid?" Crowley asked.

"M- my mommy. She left me here..."

Crowley's brow raised. "Why's that?"

"S- she says it's all her fault daddy is away."

"Away?"

"Mommy said daddy isn't coming back anymore. He was coming back, but now he isn't."

"So mommy up and left you here? In a bar?"

"Y- yes."

Crowley frowned. "That's no way to act."

"I guess," the kid sniffed. Crowley grabbed the kid, and pulled him closer. "Know anyone you can call?"

The boy shook his head, and Crowley sighed. He grabbed the kid and pulled him onto his knee. He wrapped an arm around the kid, and smiled. "I'll watch you for the night. Then I can take you back to your mommy."

The boy nodded. "OK."

Crowley moved the chair to face out the window, and he watched the snow fall in the night. They sat there, for a long time, until the barkeep looked at Crowley. "Pub's closin'."

Crowley looked back. "I just... I'll pay for the night." The barkeep shrugged, happy to get some extra pay. He went upstairs to sleep, leaving the fire going. Crowley smiled, and continued to stare out the window. The kid's face was against the wizard's shoulder.

"What's your name, kid?" he asked, out of genuine curiosity.

"D- Dam- Dam... ee... Dami..."

"Damien?"

The boy nodded. "Yes."

"That's a nice name," Crowley said. The boy was silent. "A very nice name." He yawned. "Damien," he said again. His eyes fluttered, and he yawned once more, before drifting off to sleep.

"Dammit." the boy said, pissed off at his robot. No matter how hard he tried, he wasn't getting the cannon to work. It required a specific and rare substance, a substance which had unfortunately been lost to the ages centuries ago. Daisuke sighed, taking his glasses off. He had been busy ever since he had left Elfen High a few months before, working on his various inventions.

But where was the lost emerald? This was a pain. He could prove quite a bit about robotics and technology if he found it...

Suddenly, there was a knock on his door. Daisuke sighed and rolled toward the door. "Open." he ordered the robotic door, which did. Minh stood in the door, to a stunned Daisuke's surprise.

"Dad?" he asked, surprised at the visit. "What are you doing here? Don't you have work?"

"I can afford to skip one day, Daisy." his father said, ruffling his son's hair and walking inside the house. "Nice place you have, son. You bought it yourself?"

"With my own money, yeah." Daisuke said, rolling in after his father, who had sat down on a revolving chair. "So, why did you come by-"

"It's Christmas, kid." Minh laughed. "Can't a family get together Christmas Day?"

"But...you usually haven't." Daisuke said, his tone almost accusing.

Minh sighed, his face turning sad. "Yeah. I usually haven't. And my own dad never visited me on Christmas Day either." He turned around in the chair and looked out at New York. "What a view."

"Best seats in the house." Daisuke quipped.

"God...feels like years since I just...sat down." Minh sighed.

"Maybe you have earned a rest." Daisuke told his father, his tone softening.

"Do you ever wonder, Dai, how our lives would have been different if...if we had just been normal people? A normal family? If I had no Elfen High to worry on?"

"Then there would be no world to enjoy it in, dad. You've saved it a few times."

"I lost my own family when I was young, Dai. But we...I'm sorry. We've never been one. But I want to try it now. Maybe I wouldn't be too good as a dad..."

"No." Daisuke said to his father firmly. "You are a great dad. Think of me. I can go and tell people my dad saved the world. He works for Crowley himself. He's fought everything. He's a hero. You're a hero."

Minh laughed. "Maybe. Maybe I am. And I see you need something, Dai." he said, revealing a completely black stone in his hand.

"You found the Lost Emerald?" Daisuke exclaimed. "How? It's, well, lost!"

"I was in Ancient Egypt a while ago." Minh laughed. "And I knew you needed it. I have a friend who knows when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake."

"What, are you serious, is it really-"

"What? No, not Santa. I meant Crowley." Minh stood. "Son, I haven't been a good dad. My own dad wasn't a good dad and his dad likely wasn't either. But let's break that cycle." he held his son close to him. "I'll be a good dad to you. Then you'll be a good dad to your kids."

Daisuke chuckled. "Maybe I'm not fit for that. I'd rather have my machines."

"Nonsense. You'd be a great dad when you grow up. And you're already the best son anyone could ask for. Picture how proud your kids would be to say you're their father. You, Daisuke, are a smart and decent boy. And I love you." he hugged his son closely. He had left before. But nothing would take him away from this hug.

"Merry Christmas, Dai. Merry Christmas."

"So what the hell are you doing outside my computer?" The Indian man asked in only mild surprise when he saw the British fellow sitting in his kitchen drinking some wine in a glass. Crowley glanced up at the Indian.

"It was boring in there. Want some? It's a special occasion, feel free to indulge a bit." Crowley asked, offering a glass.

Khan shrugged, taking a glass and sipping it. "It's lost a bit of taste for me as of late." he said, placing it on the table. "So, what are you here for?"

"I told you, it was boring in the computer, especially when you weren't posting." Crowley said. "So, this must be an awkward conversation for you, in a sense. You're really just talking to yourself."

"Not exactly, if that makes sense. Sure, it's somewhat like talking to myself, but you're not exactly me. You have a life of your own in a sense now." Khan noted. "I've created a monster."

"I saved your bloody life, don't bitch." Crowley replied.

Khan raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Do tell me how you saved my life, fictional creation of mine."

"Gave you a bit of hope and shit, right? Let's face it, before June 15th you weren't totally in the best state. Hell, if you didn't decide to get a bit of your stress out with me, you've had gotten it out in a different way." the British wizard replied. "Now, sure I wasn't the biggest cause for you deciding to try in life again instead of lying around in an empty apartment smoking weed, cybering with strangers and considering borrowing a friend's gun, but give some credit where credit's due. I helped."

Khan paused. "Yeah. I suppose you did. You weren't the only one though."

Crowley sighed. "Trying to hurt my ego, huh? Yes, yes, I do suppose I wasn't. I'm not Elfen High all by myself. I guess that those...players need to be given some of the credit here." he grudgingly admitted. "Not too much though."

Khan laughed. "No, not too much. But maybe a bit more than you're willing to give." he said. "You planning on staying the night?"

"I'm always in your fucking head one way or another. It's a messed up place. Jesus Christ man, the shit I've seen..."

"I'm cleaning it up a bit."

"Oh, it's a much better place to live in now than it was two years ago." he replied. "Yep, seems like you're a bit better now mentally and on the exterior." The Brit looked around. "Example one. You live in an actual, honest to god house that won't collapse on you in the night. Example two, you appear to have become a family man. Example three, your dick hasn't shrunk a millimetre."

"I was worried this would become some touchy-feely bullshit." came the dry response.

"Well, it's still a nice sized dick. Feel free to shove it up my ass if you want. I got nothing better to do."

"I'm married now man, I don't do that with a figment of my subconscious anymore-"

"And now we can already see the fucking change in your psyche. You owe me a favour."

"...You made someone more morally sane and sound?"

"I'm rather not happy about the prospect either, but I figure it lets me enjoy my life as a roleplay character longer if you enjoy your life as a real life character longer as well."

Khan laughed again while Crowley got up. "In any case, I think I'll leave now, Khan. Got bitches to fuck and cunts to beat up. You should post so I can get to that."

"I'll get around to posting. You improved my life's quality, so let me enjoy that quality a bit, will you?"

"Fuck you, fine." Crowley said, opening the door and starting to walk out. Khan paused and then shouted out.

"Fuck it, Crowley!"

"What?"

"Get back in and get the lube. I'll do you that favour right now. Thanks for saving my life."

"Merry fucking Christmas to you too, Khan."

Christmas one-shots made thus far. Get yours added to the list.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

James talking about his previous career.
"While I didn't do it, I got the version of the author in our universe blown up along with his wife and son.

Also I murdered my own creator."
Crowley promptly shuts up.

Crowley: "I'm the reason we exist."

James: "I killed the first incarnation of Elfen High."

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Crowley: "I'm the reason we exist."

James: "I'm the reason we'll all die."

*Crowley shoots James*

[Zarkenis Ultima]

The fire sizzled, and cracked. The barkeep wiped the counter, as the small group kept silent. Crowley sipped his scotch, and sighed. Another year was gone. He liked this Scottish bar. He might come here more often. There was a silent sobbing, he noticed, and it disturbed him a little. Christmas was happy, even for him. Somewhat. He looked around, scanning the room until he noticed a small child, sitting in the corner alone. Tears were running down the boy's face.

Crowley stood, and made his way across the room, through the tables and chairs. Normally he'd teleport, but it'd raise suspicion. Humans didn't know that he was a wizard, after all.

The Brit pulled up a chair, and sat down next to the boy. He smiled. " 'Ello," he said. The boy sniffed.

"H- hi."

"What's wrong, kid?" Crowley asked.

"M- my mommy. She left me here..."

Crowley's brow raised. "Why's that?"

"S- she says it's all her fault daddy is away."

"Away?"

"Mommy said daddy isn't coming back anymore. He was coming back, but now he isn't."

"So mommy up and left you here? In a bar?"

"Y- yes."

Crowley frowned. "That's no way to act."

"I guess," the kid sniffed. Crowley grabbed the kid, and pulled him closer. "Know anyone you can call?"

The boy shook his head, and Crowley sighed. He grabbed the kid and pulled him onto his knee. He wrapped an arm around the kid, and smiled. "I'll watch you for the night. Then I can take you back to your mommy."

The boy nodded. "OK."

Crowley moved the chair to face out the window, and he watched the snow fall in the night. They sat there, for a long time, until the barkeep looked at Crowley. "Pub's closin'."

Crowley looked back. "I just... I'll pay for the night." The barkeep shrugged, happy to get some extra pay. He went upstairs to sleep, leaving the fire going. Crowley smiled, and continued to stare out the window. The kid's face was against the wizard's shoulder.

"What's your name, kid?" he asked, out of genuine curiosity.

"D- Dam- Dam... ee... Dami..."

"Damien?"

The boy nodded. "Yes."

"That's a nice name," Crowley said. The boy was silent. "A very nice name." He yawned. "Damien," he said again. His eyes fluttered, and he yawned once more, before drifting off to sleep.

"Dammit." the boy said, pissed off at his robot. No matter how hard he tried, he wasn't getting the cannon to work. It required a specific and rare substance, a substance which had unfortunately been lost to the ages centuries ago. Daisuke sighed, taking his glasses off. He had been busy ever since he had left Elfen High a few months before, working on his various inventions.

But where was the lost emerald? This was a pain. He could prove quite a bit about robotics and technology if he found it...

Suddenly, there was a knock on his door. Daisuke sighed and rolled toward the door. "Open." he ordered the robotic door, which did. Minh stood in the door, to a stunned Daisuke's surprise.

"Dad?" he asked, surprised at the visit. "What are you doing here? Don't you have work?"

"I can afford to skip one day, Daisy." his father said, ruffling his son's hair and walking inside the house. "Nice place you have, son. You bought it yourself?"

"With my own money, yeah." Daisuke said, rolling in after his father, who had sat down on a revolving chair. "So, why did you come by-"

"It's Christmas, kid." Minh laughed. "Can't a family get together Christmas Day?"

"But...you usually haven't." Daisuke said, his tone almost accusing.

Minh sighed, his face turning sad. "Yeah. I usually haven't. And my own dad never visited me on Christmas Day either." He turned around in the chair and looked out at New York. "What a view."

"Best seats in the house." Daisuke quipped.

"God...feels like years since I just...sat down." Minh sighed.

"Maybe you have earned a rest." Daisuke told his father, his tone softening.

"Do you ever wonder, Dai, how our lives would have been different if...if we had just been normal people? A normal family? If I had no Elfen High to worry on?"

"Then there would be no world to enjoy it in, dad. You've saved it a few times."

"I lost my own family when I was young, Dai. But we...I'm sorry. We've never been one. But I want to try it now. Maybe I wouldn't be too good as a dad..."

"No." Daisuke said to his father firmly. "You are a great dad. Think of me. I can go and tell people my dad saved the world. He works for Crowley himself. He's fought everything. He's a hero. You're a hero."

Minh laughed. "Maybe. Maybe I am. And I see you need something, Dai." he said, revealing a completely black stone in his hand.

"You found the Lost Emerald?" Daisuke exclaimed. "How? It's, well, lost!"

"I was in Ancient Egypt a while ago." Minh laughed. "And I knew you needed it. I have a friend who knows when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake."

"What, are you serious, is it really-"

"What? No, not Santa. I meant Crowley." Minh stood. "Son, I haven't been a good dad. My own dad wasn't a good dad and his dad likely wasn't either. But let's break that cycle." he held his son close to him. "I'll be a good dad to you. Then you'll be a good dad to your kids."

Daisuke chuckled. "Maybe I'm not fit for that. I'd rather have my machines."

"Nonsense. You'd be a great dad when you grow up. And you're already the best son anyone could ask for. Picture how proud your kids would be to say you're their father. You, Daisuke, are a smart and decent boy. And I love you." he hugged his son closely. He had left before. But nothing would take him away from this hug.

"Merry Christmas, Dai. Merry Christmas."

"So what the hell are you doing outside my computer?" The Indian man asked in only mild surprise when he saw the British fellow sitting in his kitchen drinking some wine in a glass. Crowley glanced up at the Indian.

"It was boring in there. Want some? It's a special occasion, feel free to indulge a bit." Crowley asked, offering a glass.

Khan shrugged, taking a glass and sipping it. "It's lost a bit of taste for me as of late." he said, placing it on the table. "So, what are you here for?"

"I told you, it was boring in the computer, especially when you weren't posting." Crowley said. "So, this must be an awkward conversation for you, in a sense. You're really just talking to yourself."

"Not exactly, if that makes sense. Sure, it's somewhat like talking to myself, but you're not exactly me. You have a life of your own in a sense now." Khan noted. "I've created a monster."

"I saved your bloody life, don't bitch." Crowley replied.

Khan raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Do tell me how you saved my life, fictional creation of mine."

"Gave you a bit of hope and shit, right? Let's face it, before June 15th you weren't totally in the best state. Hell, if you didn't decide to get a bit of your stress out with me, you've had gotten it out in a different way." the British wizard replied. "Now, sure I wasn't the biggest cause for you deciding to try in life again instead of lying around in an empty apartment smoking weed, cybering with strangers and considering borrowing a friend's gun, but give some credit where credit's due. I helped."

Khan paused. "Yeah. I suppose you did. You weren't the only one though."

Crowley sighed. "Trying to hurt my ego, huh? Yes, yes, I do suppose I wasn't. I'm not Elfen High all by myself. I guess that those...players need to be given some of the credit here." he grudgingly admitted. "Not too much though."

Khan laughed. "No, not too much. But maybe a bit more than you're willing to give." he said. "You planning on staying the night?"

"I'm always in your fucking head one way or another. It's a messed up place. Jesus Christ man, the shit I've seen..."

"I'm cleaning it up a bit."

"Oh, it's a much better place to live in now than it was two years ago." he replied. "Yep, seems like you're a bit better now mentally and on the exterior." The Brit looked around. "Example one. You live in an actual, honest to god house that won't collapse on you in the night. Example two, you appear to have become a family man. Example three, your dick hasn't shrunk a millimetre."

"I was worried this would become some touchy-feely bullshit." came the dry response.

"Well, it's still a nice sized dick. Feel free to shove it up my ass if you want. I got nothing better to do."

"I'm married now man, I don't do that with a figment of my subconscious anymore-"

"And now we can already see the fucking change in your psyche. You owe me a favour."

"...You made someone more morally sane and sound?"

"I'm rather not happy about the prospect either, but I figure it lets me enjoy my life as a roleplay character longer if you enjoy your life as a real life character longer as well."

Khan laughed again while Crowley got up. "In any case, I think I'll leave now, Khan. Got bitches to fuck and cunts to beat up. You should post so I can get to that."

"I'll get around to posting. You improved my life's quality, so let me enjoy that quality a bit, will you?"

"Fuck you, fine." Crowley said, opening the door and starting to walk out. Khan paused and then shouted out.

"Fuck it, Crowley!"

"What?"

"Get back in and get the lube. I'll do you that favour right now. Thanks for saving my life."

"Merry fucking Christmas to you too, Khan."

Christmas one-shots made thus far. Get yours added to the list.

If I had the creativity for a good one-shot, I'd do it.

I might do it anyway but it probably won't be very good. .

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

James: "I'm the reason we'll all die."

*Crowley shoots James*

*James has ceased to exist

Damien and the Fae fuck reality*

[Nightkill the Emperor]

*Crowley shoots James*

*James has ceased to exist

Damien and the Fae fuck reality*

*Then Timothy appears and the end of days is upon us*

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

*James has ceased to exist

Damien and the Fae fuck reality*

*Then Timothy appears and the end of days is upon us*

In all seriousness Night, I didn't know the first EH meant that much to you. I'm sorry for Arc 3.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

*Then Timothy appears and the end of days is upon us*

In all seriousness Night, I didn't know the first EH meant that much to you. I'm sorry for Arc 3.

Nah, it's no worries. Arc 3 would have crashed and burned anyway. But it was a good, if rough, time from beginning to end. I brought it back because it still is.

[Nude East Ireland]

"So what the hell are you doing outside my computer?" the red-headed girl asked in only mild surprise when she saw the British fellow sitting in her bedroom, drinking some wine in a glass. Damien glanced up at the girl.

"It was boring in there. Want some? It's a special occasion, feel free to indulge a little bit," Damien asked, offering a glass.

Jackie frowned. "I'm fourteen, you degenerate prick," she replied. Damien shrugged. "I'm sixteen." Jackie nodded. "I know, I created you. So why are you here, anyways?"

"Like I said, it gets boring in there," Damien said. He took a sip. "Besides, I've been through a hard time."

"No shit? I wrote it. Well, typed it. And posted it."

"Yes, but you only recorded actions, events... not my thoughts. Maybe once in a while you use the italics to represent thoughts for me, but you haven't lately."

"Because," Jackie said. "I couldn't imagine the thought process behind what you're going through. I've been through enough shit, enough to know that everything is instinct, when you're going through a tough time like that. You don't need to think."

"I... never thought of that," Damien replied.

"Exactly. Now, you should probably get out of my room. I'm not some married Indian with a kid, living in Hell. I have parents. Also, a computer."

"Yeah, well, I just... it's Christmas," Damien replied.

Jackie blinked. "Whoa, really? Holy sweet Jesus Christ, why didn't anyone fucking tell me? Holy shit, get the god-damned President of the United States on the phone, it's fucking Christmas!"

Damien stared for a bit. "Well, now I definitely know you created me."

"You haven't used sarcasm."

"Why not? It's a common trait of you," Damien replied.

"Unlike Crowley and Krish, you and I have barely anything in common. You're a vampire-hunting, teenage Batman, minus an arm and dignity."

"I resent that."

"Your mother!"

Damien was silent. Jackie smiled.

"I know everything about you," she said. "And you know nothing about me."

"I know that I'm your greatest creation," Damien replied, gloatingly. Jackie laughed.

A lot.

"No, you're probably the fourth incarnation of the Damien Seward character. First, you were a lot like you are now. Then a drunken teacher. Then you died. Then you were a principal at a town called Jasper. Then you were frozen in time. Now you're here."

Damien blinked.

"Besides," Jackie continued, "I've created the greatest character of all. And it isn't you."

"Then... who is it?"

Suddenly, the door opened. A gorilla walked in, wearing a red vest and a purple top hat. He was carrying a large blunderbuss, and a smile. "Sir Charles Groundbreaker," he said, nodding. Damien shit himself.

"Charming, in every way. Just how I created him," Jackie said, admiring the gorilla.

Suddenly, an Amish boy woke up, panting and sweating. The stained covers needed to be washed. He sighed, and went back to bed.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

"So what the hell are you doing outside my computer?" the red-headed girl asked in only mild surprise when she saw the British fellow sitting in her bedroom, drinking some wine in a glass. Damien glanced up at the girl.

"It was boring in there. Want some? It's a special occasion, feel free to indulge a little bit," Damien asked, offering a glass.

Jackie frowned. "I'm fourteen, you degenerate prick," she replied. Damien shrugged. "I'm sixteen." Jackie nodded. "I know, I created you. So why are you here, anyways?"

"Like I said, it gets boring in there," Damien said. He took a sip. "Besides, I've been through a hard time."

"No shit? I wrote it. Well, typed it. And posted it."

"Yes, but you only recorded actions, events... not my thoughts. Maybe once in a while you use the italics to represent thoughts for me, but you haven't lately."

"Because," Jackie said. "I couldn't imagine the thought process behind what you're going through. I've been through enough shit, enough to know that everything is instinct, when you're going through a tough time like that. You don't need to think."

"I... never thought of that," Damien replied.

"Exactly. Now, you should probably get out of my room. I'm not some married Indian with a kid, living in Hell. I have parents. Also, a computer."

"Yeah, well, I just... it's Christmas," Damien replied.

Jackie blinked. "Whoa, really? Holy sweet Jesus Christ, why didn't anyone fucking tell me? Holy shit, get the god-damned President of the United States on the phone, it's fucking Christmas!"

Damien stared for a bit. "Well, now I definitely know you created me."

"You haven't used sarcasm."

"Why not? It's a common trait of you," Damien replied.

"Unlike Crowley and Krish, you and I have barely anything in common. You're a vampire-hunting, teenage Batman, minus an arm and dignity."

"I resent that."

"Your mother!"

Damien was silent. Jackie smiled.

"I know everything about you," she said. "And you know nothing about me."

"I know that I'm your greatest creation," Damien replied, gloatingly. Jackie laughed.

A lot.

"No, you're probably the fourth incarnation of the Damien Seward character. First, you were a lot like you are now. Then a drunken teacher. Then you died. Then you were a principal at a town called Jasper. Then you were frozen in time. Now you're here."

Damien blinked.

"Besides," Jackie continued, "I've created the greatest character of all. And it isn't you."

"Then... who is it?"

Suddenly, the door opened. A gorilla walked in, wearing a red vest and a purple top hat. He was carrying a large blunderbuss, and a smile. "Sir Charles Groundbreaker," he said, nodding. Damien shit himself.

"Charming, in every way. Just how I created him," Jackie said, admiring the gorilla.

Suddenly, an Amish boy woke up, panting and sweating. The stained covers needed to be washed. He sighed, and went back to bed.

*thumbs up*

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Killing kittens is terrible.

[Zarkenis Ultima]

I decided to give it a try anyway.

The Mexican boy was in complete and utter surprise when he saw the red-headed girl standing sitting in the dinning room drinking some water in a glass.

"Ah, hello. You must be Ga-..." The girl began, but paused, and looked away. "Um, why is there a cardboard skull on your head, and where are your pants?"

The boy, however, ignored her, and rubbed his temples, walking away. "Calm down, Gabriel. You got a problem, yes. You're seeing things, yes. But you can get help. Just calm down..." He told himself as he walked across the kitchen. "Perhaps a shower will clear up my thoughts..." He said to himself as he opened the bathroom door.

And then he fainted.

And out of the bathroom stepped an armored demon with a glass of wine on his hand and a santa hat on his head.

"Merry Christmas puny mortals!"

@Night: Yes it is. D:

[Nude East Ireland]

Faemien
Intelligence - 2
Strength - 5
Speed - 5
Durability - 6
Magic Level - 0
Fighting Skill - 8

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Faemien
Intelligence - 2
Strength - 5
Speed - 5
Durability - 6
Magic Level - 0
Fighting Skill - 8

It's a rough tie against two Jameses, I'd say.

[Zarkenis Ultima]

Faemien
Intelligence - 2
Strength - 5
Speed - 5
Durability - 6
Magic Level - 0
Fighting Skill - 8

[Nightkill the Emperor]

Faemien
Intelligence - 2
Strength - 5
Speed - 5
Durability - 6
Magic Level - 0
Fighting Skill - 8

Intelligence

0 - Mindless - Mindless drone, driven by primal instinct. Or just a vegetable. Either way, you are very, very dumb.

1 – Dabbler- Easily confused. The best laid of plans of mice and men is a phrase you don't know the meaning of. Literally. Multi tasking is a chore for you. You need to focus on one action at a time and are easily confused with complex strategies. Also, you only have very little knowledge of the supernatural. Basically no knowledge of the supernatural whatsoever.

2 - Average - Puzzled, but productive. You can work on two things at a time, but giving it your best falls short. When chasing two rabbits, you usually lose both. Patterns and formulas do not come to you naturally, but when faced with the same event again, you can apply previous knowledge. You have a decent grasp on "smarts" and you've started learning more about the hidden world of the paranormal, but you're still not very proficient.

3 - Above Average/Apprentice - Productive member of society. You can work diligently in an environment, and can figure out logical solutions to patterns and formulas. You’re pretty smart. Also, your knowledge of forbidden lore continues to grow, but your not as knowledgeable as someone who specializes in it.

4 - Genius- You’re pretty damn smart for a normal human. In a world without superhumans, magic and other assorted weirdos you’d probably be called one of the smartest men alive. Too bad that’s not the case. From this level onward you can create your own tools and items…WITH SCIENCE.

5 - Borderline Superhuman – The difference between you and a normal genius is….that you’re smarter. Admittedly, it’s not that fancy, but at this level any gadgets and other assorted items you make is already further than most modern technology of our age.

6 – Low Superhuman – You need to muster all your willpower when you see someone messing with a Rubix Cube, or struggling with a scientific formula. Are they really that dumb or are you just that fucking smart?

7 - Superhuman – You cognitive functioning is akin to that of a supercomputer.

8 – High Superhuman- People are going to think you’re bonkers, but that’s because they just don’t get you. You are beyond their comprehension; yet there is almost nothing that lies beyond yours. The technology you create is far beyond your time and well into sci-fi areas.

9 - Fucking Hell, Einstein - Your mind is on the edge of enlightenment. You are capable of remembering massive amounts of information with ease, as well as comprehending things that even most of an superhuman intellect could only dream of processing. The technology you create is just plain ridiculous. Like stumbling right into an episode of Dr. Who, only with better special effects which aren't as fake.

10 - SCIENCE!!!!!!! - Your thought processes are impossibly complicated and fast; you process information at a godly rate and probably have a perfect memory. Your intellect is without fathom.
You are the incarnation of SCIENCE, even though you still have no idea why that word has to be in all caps all the time.

Strength

0 - Pathetic - 0-50 You're probably Nat.

1- Weak->Average - 50-150 lbs. Do you even lift? You probably don't. But it's not that bad. Could be a lot worse.

2 – Fit- 150 -250 lbs. Yeah, you work out. Pretty good.

3 - Bodybuilder- 250-600 You're very strong. Yup.

4 – Peak Human-650-1000 Alright, alright, we get it. You're as buff as a man could possibly get.

5 - Borderline Superhuman – 2 tons – 10 tons

6 – Low Superhuman – 20 tons – 50 tons

7 - Superhuman - 60 tons – 90 tons

8 – High Superhuman- 100 tons -150 tons

9 - Immense- 160 tons – 225 tons

10 –Epic – 250 tons – 400 tons

Durability

0: Fragile: Body is weak, frail, sickly or possibly underdeveloped. Your stamina and general physical constitution could be likened to that of either an infant or an elderly person. Either way, it's probably best you not get into fights; or any kinds of physical activity, for that matter. You're probably Ende.

1:Weak-Average: You probably don't work out. You can take a few punches from an average person, but really that's about all. Your stamina is pretty low too. You can run for a few minutes before exhaustion.On a good day.

2: Fit: Reasonably physically fit but nothing too special.Can take some degree of damage but still vulnerable to everything. Maybe you work out regularly, run some laps sometimes. Your stamina isn't impressive, but it's not underwhelming either.

3: Athlete: Physically fit, tougher than the average person, more resistant to damage but altogether still human. You're very athletic, maybe even at a professional level. Running marathons are no big problem for you and you can take a beating in a fight.

4: Peak Human: Extremely fit. You've reached the peak of human durability. The amount of damage and pain you can withstand is almost superhuman. Almost. Participating in martial arts competitions or marathons would just be unfair. You can function at peak capacity for long amounts of time.

5: Borderline Superhuman: Is physically tougher than a person is usually capable of becoming, has greater stamina and more resilient. Things like bullets and knives now do only little damage.

6: Low Superhuman: Human level strength does nothing, neither do bullets and knives. Body is becoming extremely difficult to be damaged by standard means.

7: Superhuman: Conventional weapons of any kind start to have little to no effect. Even some superhumans wil have difficulty damaging you, your skin is pretty damn tough and nothing human made could hope to harm you, even something that isn't human would find you difficult to harm.

8: High Superhuman: You are the epitome of toughness, your skin having reached a level that is just insane. Superhumans find you difficult to harm and your body can take large amounts of punishment and brush it off. Fatigue is just a distant memory, your body unable to tire out.

9: Beyond Superhuman: You’re nearly invincible, conventional weapons shatter upon your body. Disease is nothing and even poisons will be found useless against your transcendent physiology. Your body could run for years on end, fatigue is not even in your vocabulary.

10: Nigh Invincible: Your body is godly, invincible to all but the mightiest of superhumans and even they find it hard to damage you. Nothing foreign can harm your body, whether it be disease or poison.

Speed

0 - Cannot walk on your own. Pussy.

1 - Average - 6 mph -12 mph

2 - Slightly above average- 12 mph- 20 mph

3 - Track Runner- 20 mph -25 mph

4 - Olympian- 25 mph - 40mph mph

5 - Borderline Superhuman – 40 mph – 100 mph

6 – Low Superhuman – 100 mph - 250

7 - Superhuman - 250 mph -400 mph

8 – High Superhuman- 400 mph – 550 mph

9 – Blur – 550 mph– 700 mph

10 – Flash – 700 mph – 1000 mph

Fighting Skills

0 - Comatose baby- You don't even have any basic fighting instinct. Nat once beat you up and took your lunch money.

1 - Untrained - You have no training and little to no experience. You almost lack the ability to throw a decently placed punch and would stand no chance in a hand to hand fight with someone with even a little bit of training.

2 - Trained - You may have taken a few classes in martial arts, or might just have some experience. You would still have a hard time competing with someone who is well trained, though you're no pushover.

3 - Well-Trained - You've either been very well trained in martial arts, or have gained experience from being in many fights in your life time, and know how to fight fairly well compared to the average human.

4 - Master - You're a combat specialist who has been taught how to fight very well. You've achieved the highest rank possible in a single martial arts style, or have enjoyed extensive training in several forms of combat.

5 - Borderline Superhuman - You've mastered at least one or more fighting styles, or maybe you have learned a few styles to supplement the one you've mastered. Even Master Martial Artists would have great difficulty fighting you.

6 – Low Superhuman - Your skill is beyond human limits. You've mastered at least one or more fighting styles, or maybe you have learned a few styles to supplement the one you've mastered. Your reaction time exceeds that of a normal human.

7 - Superhuman - You have mastered multiple forms of combat, and fighting a normal person would be like combat with a still target. Your muscles move faster than your mind, your reaction time is faster than thought and it’s become pretty much unthinkable for a mundane opponent to even get a punch in on you.

8 – High Superhuman- Even for superhuman standards you’re exceptionally skilled at fighting. You have mastered a huge number of combat styles. Your reaction time is flawless, and even large groups of highly trained or master combatants pose little threat to you. At this point, your body almost just moves on its own in battle, requiring little to no conscious thought.

9 - Master of War - You are a being of pure combat. You have mastered a crazy amount of combat styles. Your reaction time is godly, and you read people like maps finding the flaws in their style like they were obvious. Fighting anyone but the best of the best is little more than a mindless chore for you. Even the craziest of maneuvers in battle are possible for you.

10 – Nightkill – This is it. The pinnacle of martial perfection. You might as well be psychic, that’s how easy you can read most people’s fighting style; you can react to their moves almost before they’ve even made them. Your fighting abilities have grown to the point where there’s no longer really such a thing as ‘styles’. You’re beyond that now.
Only those in the highest levels of superhuman skill could even hope to keep up with you in battle.

I'll have the Magic ones done later. Credit to my cousin who gave these ones to me. I only made mild edits.

I should put that in the OP.

[Ranbo]

Killing kittens is terrible.

I've been reading old Dilbert cartoons recently, and in all honestly, I can imagine Dogbert taking up arms against cats in that exact same way.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

I decided to give it a try anyway.

The Mexican boy was in complete and utter surprise when he saw the red-headed girl standing sitting in the dinning room drinking some water in a glass.

"Ah, hello. You must be Ga-..." The girl began, but paused, and looked away. "Um, why is there a cardboard skull on your head, and where are your pants?"

The boy, however, ignored her, and rubbed his temples, walking away. "Calm down, Gabriel. You got a problem, yes. You're seeing things, yes. But you can get help. Just calm down..." He told himself as he walked across the kitchen. "Perhaps a shower will clear up my thoughts..." He said to himself as he opened the bathroom door.

And then he fainted.

And out of the bathroom stepped an armored demon with a glass of wine on his hand and a santa hat on his head.

"Merry Christmas puny mortals!"

@Night: Yes it is. D:

Not bad.

[Zarkenis Ultima]

Intelligence

0 - Mindless - Mindless drone, driven by primal instinct. Or just a vegetable. Either way, you are very, very dumb.

1 – Dabbler- Easily confused. The best laid of plans of mice and men is a phrase you don't know the meaning of. Literally. Multi tasking is a chore for you. You need to focus on one action at a time and are easily confused with complex strategies. Also, you only have very little knowledge of the supernatural. Basically no knowledge of the supernatural whatsoever.

2 - Average - Puzzled, but productive. You can work on two things at a time, but giving it your best falls short. When chasing two rabbits, you usually lose both. Patterns and formulas do not come to you naturally, but when faced with the same event again, you can apply previous knowledge. You have a decent grasp on "smarts" and you've started learning more about the hidden world of the paranormal, but you're still not very proficient.

3 - Above Average/Apprentice - Productive member of society. You can work diligently in an environment, and can figure out logical solutions to patterns and formulas. You’re pretty smart. Also, your knowledge of forbidden lore continues to grow, but your not as knowledgeable as someone who specializes in it.

4 - Genius- You’re pretty damn smart for a normal human. In a world without superhumans, magic and other assorted weirdos you’d probably be called one of the smartest men alive. Too bad that’s not the case. From this level onward you can create your own tools and items…WITH SCIENCE.

5 - Borderline Superhuman – The difference between you and a normal genius is….that you’re smarter. Admittedly, it’s not that fancy, but at this level any gadgets and other assorted items you make is already further than most modern technology of our age.

6 – Low Superhuman – You need to muster all your willpower when you see someone messing with a Rubix Cube, or struggling with a scientific formula. Are they really that dumb or are you just that fucking smart?

7 - Superhuman – You cognitive functioning is akin to that of a supercomputer.

8 – High Superhuman- People are going to think you’re bonkers, but that’s because they just don’t get you. You are beyond their comprehension; yet there is almost nothing that lies beyond yours. The technology you create is far beyond your time and well into sci-fi areas.

9 - Fucking Hell, Einstein - Your mind is on the edge of enlightenment. You are capable of remembering massive amounts of information with ease, as well as comprehending things that even most of an superhuman intellect could only dream of processing. The technology you create is just plain ridiculous. Like stumbling right into an episode of Dr. Who, only with better special effects which aren't as fake.

10 - SCIENCE!!!!!!! - Your thought processes are impossibly complicated and fast; you process information at a godly rate and probably have a perfect memory. Your intellect is without fathom.
You are the incarnation of SCIENCE, even though you still have no idea why that word has to be in all caps all the time.

Strength

0 - Pathetic - 0-50 You're probably Nat.

1- Weak->Average - 50-150 lbs. Do you even lift? You probably don't. But it's not that bad. Could be a lot worse.

2 – Fit- 150 -250 lbs. Yeah, you work out. Pretty good.

3 - Bodybuilder- 250-600 You're very strong. Yup.

4 – Peak Human-650-1000 Alright, alright, we get it. You're as buff as a man could possibly get.

5 - Borderline Superhuman – 2 tons – 10 tons

6 – Low Superhuman – 20 tons – 50 tons

7 - Superhuman - 60 tons – 90 tons

8 – High Superhuman- 100 tons -150 tons

9 - Immense- 160 tons – 225 tons

10 –Epic – 250 tons – 400 tons

Durability

0: Fragile: Body is weak, frail, sickly or possibly underdeveloped. Your stamina and general physical constitution could be likened to that of either an infant or an elderly person. Either way, it's probably best you not get into fights; or any kinds of physical activity, for that matter. You're probably Ende.

1:Weak-Average: You probably don't work out. You can take a few punches from an average person, but really that's about all. Your stamina is pretty low too. You can run for a few minutes before exhaustion.On a good day.

2: Fit: Reasonably physically fit but nothing too special.Can take some degree of damage but still vulnerable to everything. Maybe you work out regularly, run some laps sometimes. Your stamina isn't impressive, but it's not underwhelming either.

3: Athlete: Physically fit, tougher than the average person, more resistant to damage but altogether still human. You're very athletic, maybe even at a professional level. Running marathons are no big problem for you and you can take a beating in a fight.

4: Peak Human: Extremely fit. You've reached the peak of human durability. The amount of damage and pain you can withstand is almost superhuman. Almost. Participating in martial arts competitions or marathons would just be unfair. You can function at peak capacity for long amounts of time.

5: Borderline Superhuman: Is physically tougher than a person is usually capable of becoming, has greater stamina and more resilient. Things like bullets and knives now do only little damage.

6: Low Superhuman: Human level strength does nothing, neither do bullets and knives. Body is becoming extremely difficult to be damaged by standard means.

7: Superhuman: Conventional weapons of any kind start to have little to no effect. Even some superhumans wil have difficulty damaging you, your skin is pretty damn tough and nothing human made could hope to harm you, even something that isn't human would find you difficult to harm.

8: High Superhuman: You are the epitome of toughness, your skin having reached a level that is just insane. Superhumans find you difficult to harm and your body can take large amounts of punishment and brush it off. Fatigue is just a distant memory, your body unable to tire out.

9: Beyond Superhuman: You’re nearly invincible, conventional weapons shatter upon your body. Disease is nothing and even poisons will be found useless against your transcendent physiology. Your body could run for years on end, fatigue is not even in your vocabulary.

10: Nigh Invincible: Your body is godly, invincible to all but the mightiest of superhumans and even they find it hard to damage you. Nothing foreign can harm your body, whether it be disease or poison.

Speed

0 - Cannot walk on your own. Pussy.

1 - Average - 6 mph -12 mph

2 - Slightly above average- 12 mph- 20 mph

3 - Track Runner- 20 mph -25 mph

4 - Olympian- 25 mph - 40mph mph

5 - Borderline Superhuman – 40 mph – 100 mph

6 – Low Superhuman – 100 mph - 250

7 - Superhuman - 250 mph -400 mph

8 – High Superhuman- 400 mph – 550 mph

9 – Blur – 550 mph– 700 mph

10 – Flash – 700 mph – 1000 mph

Fighting Skills

0 - Comatose baby- You don't even have any basic fighting instinct. Nat once beat you up and took your lunch money.

1 - Untrained - You have no training and little to no experience. You almost lack the ability to throw a decently placed punch and would stand no chance in a hand to hand fight with someone with even a little bit of training.

2 - Trained - You may have taken a few classes in martial arts, or might just have some experience. You would still have a hard time competing with someone who is well trained, though you're no pushover.

3 - Well-Trained - You've either been very well trained in martial arts, or have gained experience from being in many fights in your life time, and know how to fight fairly well compared to the average human.

4 - Master - You're a combat specialist who has been taught how to fight very well. You've achieved the highest rank possible in a single martial arts style, or have enjoyed extensive training in several forms of combat.

5 - Borderline Superhuman - You've mastered at least one or more fighting styles, or maybe you have learned a few styles to supplement the one you've mastered. Even Master Martial Artists would have great difficulty fighting you.

6 – Low Superhuman - Your skill is beyond human limits. You've mastered at least one or more fighting styles, or maybe you have learned a few styles to supplement the one you've mastered. Your reaction time exceeds that of a normal human.

7 - Superhuman - You have mastered multiple forms of combat, and fighting a normal person would be like combat with a still target. Your muscles move faster than your mind, your reaction time is faster than thought and it’s become pretty much unthinkable for a mundane opponent to even get a punch in on you.

8 – High Superhuman- Even for superhuman standards you’re exceptionally skilled at fighting. You have mastered a huge number of combat styles. Your reaction time is flawless, and even large groups of highly trained or master combatants pose little threat to you. At this point, your body almost just moves on its own in battle, requiring little to no conscious thought.

9 - Master of War - You are a being of pure combat. You have mastered a crazy amount of combat styles. Your reaction time is godly, and you read people like maps finding the flaws in their style like they were obvious. Fighting anyone but the best of the best is little more than a mindless chore for you. Even the craziest of maneuvers in battle are possible for you.

10 – Nightkill – This is it. The pinnacle of martial perfection. You might as well be psychic, that’s how easy you can read most people’s fighting style; you can react to their moves almost before they’ve even made them. Your fighting abilities have grown to the point where there’s no longer really such a thing as ‘styles’. You’re beyond that now.
Only those in the highest levels of superhuman skill could even hope to keep up with you in battle.

I'll have the Magic ones done later. Credit to my cousin who gave these ones to me. I only made mild edits.

I should put that in the OP.

Oh, you're already applying that.

Okay then.

And thanks. .