Personification Life - IC Part III

[Swith Witherward]

*Aleki shrugged* "Huh, I wonder what's been up in his butt lately for him to swim off like that."

"Well, it's um. Yeah, life is funny, isn't it? Like hermit crabs. You just don't know what a hermit crab really looks like until you've seen him outta his shell."

[Germanic Templars]

*Aleki shrugged* "Huh, I wonder what's been up in his butt lately for him to swim off like that."

"Well, it's um. Yeah, life is funny, isn't it? Like hermit crabs. You just don't know what a hermit crab really looks like until you've seen him outta his shell."

*Aleki stared at her with a dumbfounded look* "Wha?"

[The BranRiech]

"Well, it's um. Yeah, life is funny, isn't it? Like hermit crabs. You just don't know what a hermit crab really looks like until you've seen him outta his shell."

Bran swam back reluctantly.

"Oh Aleki . . . Don't let her down, please?" He said, obviously caring for his sister.

[Swith Witherward]

Bran swam back reluctantly.

"Oh Aleki . . . Don't let her down, please?" He said, obviously caring for his sister.

Naomi felt rather uncomfortable. "Yes, please treat her like gold, Aleki. She's a really wonderful young woman."

[Germanic Templars]

"Well, it's um. Yeah, life is funny, isn't it? Like hermit crabs. You just don't know what a hermit crab really looks like until you've seen him outta his shell."

Bran swam back reluctantly.

"Oh Aleki . . . Don't let her down, please?" He said, obviously caring for his sister.

"Don't worry, I haven't and I won't let her down. And don't worry Naomi, ill treat her like Platinum."

[Swith Witherward]

"Don't worry, I haven't and I won't let her down. And don't worry Naomi, ill treat her like Platinum."

Naomi smiled and drew him into a hug. "I know you will, and I'm very happy for you both!"

She let him go and stepped into the water. "How cold is it out there, Bran?" she asked, wading into the breakers.

[The New Velociraptor Empire]

"Worse than insane NVE and speciest Gretta?" Fortu asked as he pointed out to the ocean where a large explosion occured as if on cue.

"Worse," Monique said and sat primly in the chair.

"Hello mother," she addressed an empty chair, "This is Fortu. He's a velociraptor clone now living in a genetically engineered humanoid body with detachable head, and he works for a mad scientist velocirpator who seeks to take over the world."

Monique's face adopted an austere grace to it. "That's lovely, dear. Very suitable man," she purred in a deeper timbre, "but has his employer actually succeeded? No? Oh, Monique, find one with a boss who has succeeded in world domination, won't you?"

She looked at Fortu and burst into laughter. "Yes, my family has its quirks."

Fortu laughed along. "Okay, I admit that is worse than my situation. Even though Gretta doesn't like you for being human...and stretching her favorite shirt. And NVE doen't want me to get involved with you." Fortu said.

[The BranRiech]

Naomi smiled and drew him into a hug. "I know you will, and I'm very happy for you both!"

She let him go and stepped into the water. "How cold is it out there, Bran?" she asked, wading into the breakers.

"For any random yahoo? Pretty cold at night, not in me and Rylli's case though."

[Germanic Templars]

Naomi smiled and drew him into a hug. "I know you will, and I'm very happy for you both!"

She let him go and stepped into the water. "How cold is it out there, Bran?" she asked, wading into the breakers.

"For any random yahoo? Pretty cold at night, not in me and Rylli's case though."

"I'm game."* he takes off his shirt and dives into the water*

[Swith Witherward]

Fortu laughed along. "Okay, I admit that is worse than my situation. Even though Gretta doesn't like you for being human...and stretching her favorite shirt. And NVE doen't want me to get involved with you." Fortu said.

"Gretta is weird," Monique acknowledged, "but she seems like she'd be rather nice if she wanted to be. Why is NVE worried about me?"

--

Naomi swam further from land then tread water. "Not bad for this time of year!"

[The BranRiech]

Naomi swam further from land then tread water. "Not bad for this time of year!"

"Now all we need to do is convince User to get in the water . . ." Chuckled Bran, swimming rapid circles around his two friends.

[Bone Fort]

Bones stepped outside with a loudspeaker.

"BRACE YOURSELVES! ZALGOFEST INBOUND!"

OOC: Next post will be it.

[The BranRiech]

Bones stepped outside with a loudspeaker.

"BRACE YOURSELVES! ZALGOFEST INBOUND!"

OOC: Next post will be it.

Bran quickly changed forms and hopped out of the water, he joined Rylli as the two made their way over to Bones. Even Natiya was awoken by the noise and sat on a log nearby.

OOC: Last post for the night.

[Bone Fort]

And for a third time the place was covered in drunken bodies of various species and culture, blah blah blah, you know the drill, pandemonium and a lot of things that rise many questions, blah blah blah, flaming ring of fire with motorcycles daredevils driving off ramps across the volcano's cone, with the ring of fire being in the center while lava sharks with laserbeams in their foreheads jumped at them, blah blah blah, slip and slide down the volcano side into the bay, blah blah blah, a massive dieselpunk ship just off the coast of the island, a pirate flag hoisted above it, and then there was a walrus named Paul sunbathing next to a bunch of mermaids by the bay. Sugar was lightly raining from the air over the southern portion of the island. And of course, Jimmy Buffet playing in the background.

And now for the part everyone really cares about, our characters... (note, this is a bit of a dosie, even for a Zalgofest)...

NVE and Gretta were asleep in an unknown person's closet, and they were in human form. Someone was in for a surprise when they come home and open that door. Fortu had gotten split on what he wanted to do... literally. His head was off doing karaoke with Monique, with Sapphire cheering them on from the audience, while his body was playing poker with American literary great Mark Twain and his good friend Nikolai Tesla. A dart board with a picture of Thomas Edison attached was hanging on the wall, with many darts stuck in. Scarface had tried to get one of those "stripper in a cake" things, but had accidently baked the cake with the stripper in it. When he brought it out, the Mask jumped out and they engaged in a comical slapstick battle.

Samantha was reading some kind of ecchi novel that Lidev gave her, who is also reading it over her shoulder. Samantha is quite obviously blushing beyond all natural reactions. Mon and the User are both just on top of each other with vodka bottles in hand, passed out in a drunken stupor, with huge grins on their faces, and their clothes and hair wrinkled and a mess respectively.

Cuisine is seen wearing only 3 gas masks, a lei, and a loincloth. One gas mask on his face, one in reverse on the back of his head, and one with the mask covering his left knee. He is wandering throughout the area spray-painting random bits of graffiti. A large stereotypical red-and-white round target appeared here, a Kokopelli figure there, and a sign right on the front door. Some of the spray paint had gotten on him at one point or another, thanks to inexplicable high winds, so he looked like a combat-ready fire hydrant with a toxic mold infection that for some reason some prankster had then dressed up in a loincloth and flowers.

MB had decided to roll around in the opal dust from his and Cuisine's side project much earlier, and was now rotating on Cuisine's silver tray, serving as the disco ball. From time to time, he'd flash-jump down, grab a WD40 mojito, and go back up, sending rays of multicolored light everywhere.

Deader was off in a corner with the target Cuisine had painted. For some reason, it had chosen to wear a wedding dress with a veil. At least, that was what it had been, at first. (Cuisine had come along at one point, and turned the front of the dress into a Power Ranger costume and the veil into a bright red graduation cap.) Rounding out its fashion disaster was a champion wrestler's belt that it had ...found...somewhere, and tucked all twelve Swords into. It was levitating, following Cuisine around and asking him inane questions about whether cotton candy was worthy of worship.

Ceril was progressively getting drunker off a bottle of never-ending rum. Three spray-tanned D7 servitors in grass skirts and bikini tops clustered nearby; one strummed a ukulele while the other two hula danced. He sung out of key to the music and only stirred to swig the bottle or fire his gun at the kneecaps of those fools who tried to molest his precious (but mindless) ladies.

Giovenith had gone a bit coo-coo and thinks that she is Titania, the Fairy Queen from the play A Midsummer's Night Dream. She is dressed in a more of an original fairy look, with the elaborate clothes, leafs, flowers, etc. And some random human baby she had probably kidnapped out of a nearby town. A drunken idiot that might be one of Bone's brothers is pestering her about her manner of dress, holding a plastic wand and fake fairy wings up to her and insisting with very slurred speech that she should wear that instead.

Insidious is found under a group of six unknown people all naked and dead. Primordial is stuck to the ceiling, seemingly by nothing. There's a satyr nearby trying to calm an apparently invisible monster, and grayish white powder covers the floor of their room. Zalgofest is written on the wall in blood.

Torii had gottem piss-drunk, hired a bunch of strippers, was hitting on everyone in sight, and had accidentally set fire to something big... the forest on the southern half of the island, but the sugar rain was seeming to put it out. An agent from her country was sneaking up behind her. Will she notice before it's too late?

There was a large pile of beaten up bodies, with the Irish Wrestling Chicken standing on top of it, doing an Irish jig and singing about how he had kicked their asses. Tsu and Dab are in this pile.

Thriller was in a bed unconscious, minus his clothes. He was surrounded by succubi (also in various states of disrobement) who were giggling playfully. Alexi and Natiya were sprinting across the beach, being chased by a Jason Voorhees look-alike, who happens to also be a dwarf with a coconut head wielding a plastic butter knife, but they don't seem to notice that due to heavy intoxication.

Naomi is also heavily intoxicated and freaking out about some sort of vision of the future she claimed to have had, one of the world's impending doom. Totenkopf is there trying to calm her down, stating various other terrifying ways that the world is more likely to end first. It doesn't seem to be helping.

Bran and Rylli were tied up in one of those big roasting pots with boiling water you see in cartoons when cannibals are involved, the cliche ones, but the water isn't boiling yet. The cannibals in question seem to be 2 feet tall cliche islanders with tribal masks and grass skirts. Rachelle is rather heroically fighting them off, and is quite clearly winning, with most of the cannibals fleeing before her. She doesn't seem to want to lose any more loved ones, for obvious reasons.

And in front of this all is the chairs were Swith and Bones sit... or are supposed to be sitting, as they are nowhere to be found. The metaphorical camera that we view everything from pans left then right in search of them, but they are nowhere to be found.

Jump cut to the ship off the island's coast. It's dieselpunk, with many passed out pirates on its deck. Sitting in the center is Bones and Swith. Bones is clothed in his normal beach attire, but his eyepatch has a skull and crossbones on it and there's a parrot on his shoulder. Swith is wearing a bikini and sipping a Mai Tai.

"... So... yeah..."

[Swith Witherward]

“Another fine event, my dear Mr. Bones,” Swith sighed and held her drink up to toast him.

[Giovenith]

"Go quickly hence from my sight, you mortal wretch!" said Giovenith primly, rocking the baby in one hand and hitting the drunkard over the head with the other. "Do not play me for the fool! I know twas Oberon who sent thee! Well he can not have me changeling, and that is final!"

[Tsuyoi Tekikoku]

damn.........that.........chicken................................ said tsu coughing up a massive amount of blood.
i hate him...........

[Tiltjuice]

"No, you cannot use Stonecutter to make my nose more crooked; nor can you use it to build a house in a cave!" Cuisine objected sharply, though some of the strength was taken out of it since he was alternately poking Deader with a baguette in one hand and covering himself up with the balled-up lei in the other. (Deader had stolen his loincloth some time ago, over by Bran and Rylli.)

It wasn't very successful.

[Primordial Luxa]

Primordial: some one help me down from here

[Swith Witherward]

"You... don'... understand," Naomi wailed at Totenkopf. "It's the ah-alignment of the planets, and the pole shift. Then everything changes. Flops. And then, and then, then it's bad."

--

"At the Copa, Copacabana, the hottest spot north of Havana..." Monique harmonized with Fortu.

[Torsiedelle]

Torii leaped up behind one of her strippers, a young Korean girl. Her breath smelled of Vodka.

"C'mon, girl. You act like you've never done it before...."

Suddenly, a gun was stuck into the back of her head.

"Oh, Agent-49. You don't know how long I've wanted to do this."

[Bone Fort]

Bones returned Swith's toast. Lacking a drink, he grabbed the parrot and held it up instead.

Totenkopf tried to calm down Naomi, explaining that the dark and terrible ones from beyond would break through first and start the endless night before her predictions could true.

The drunkard continued harassing Gio for a bit, but then fell flat on his face, passed out. A large pig labeled "3" ran past.

[Tsuyoi Tekikoku]

"tsu got from under the pile and went to look for torii"
why cant i beat that chicken? tsu asked herself.

[The New Velociraptor Empire]

Fortu picked the next karaoke song, he couldn't remember what happened that they were now doing this. But he was glad he was saved from answering a question, and that they weren't in a more unusual situation.

---

"[CENSORED] Tessie, this is no fair. The guy has the ultimate poker face...none at all. His [CENSORED] head is missin'." Twain cursed. He was losing badly to Fortu's body.

---

When suddenly, Scarface punched the Mask through a random wall.

[Giovenith]

The drunkard continued harassing Gio for a bit, but then fell flat on his face, passed out. A large pig labeled "3" ran past.

She grimaced, pushing the body away with her foot, and patting the baby a bit more. "Fear not my child, my husband's henchman shall not take you yet!"

"Gaaaaaa..." it cooed, sucking it's hand and looking around at the insanity.

"Come, let us flit and fancy fly about the night, my dear! We must observe the non-fairy folk in their revels!"

With that, she sprinkled a sparkly material on the vine swing she sat upon, which began to float and lead her around.