International Free Labor Storefront (( Slave Storefront ))

[Merieu]

If your nation has a problem with slavery, I wouldn't mind roleplaying with you at all, but please don't clog up this thread. Send me a telegram instead.

"The odd bit is that I actually think your store is pretty cool. Compliments to you for the first (and likely only) slaver storefront to generate that response." - The Protectorate of Lyras

"You actually have the best prices for slaves, and a very simple order process. I actually deleted one of my orders with another company when I found this. I needed more slaves to populate a colony and also act as soldiers, so this suits me very well." - The Holy Empire of Crucesignatorum

"Your slave storefront is one of the best storefront out there, and it has a potential." - The Commonwealth of Yohannes




"Well howdy there, partner! It's me, your good friend, Johnny Rexx, President of Rexx Ranchers Inc.!

You know, the economy can be a real crapshoot. And trust us, we speak from experience when we say we've seen every side of it, good times, 'n bad. We've been around for a century, we ought to know.

So when my foreign friends come up to me, and complain about how the market's 'lookin bad as a bear around it's cubs, back from where their from, I do everything I can to help 'em out, because my father, my grandfather, and I know exactly what they've been through.

We've given 'em everything, from financial advice, to marketing tips, or even stock discounts on markets we own, but you know the one thing that helps out a troubled business more than anything in bad economic times? Free labor. And that's what we've been 'givin for the past few years around our region. One, small intial fee, and that's it. Your business can skyrocket onwards, no matter what the economy's like in your neck of the woods!

After selling manual labor, all these new entrepenuers started asking for more, ahem, personal workers, if'n you catch my drift. Well, we weren't the ones to deny 'em, so we set out 'roundin up all the prettiest, good-lookin, and downright raunchiest folk we could find, and offering them up cheap as ever.

Just like that, we had whole new market to our famous business. So, after we got such a good reception in our region, we figured "Hey, 'betcha there's a whole bunch of people in need of our services," which brings us to here. From this day on, Rexx Ranchers Free Labor Storefront has gone International!

Below, you'll see the wide variety of folks we got to offer. All you got do is follow the easy little steps, calculate the itty bitty fee you racked up, announce your order, sit back, and watch as your business crawls out of gutter, and moves on up to the big shots! Or, just wait and watch until your "personal servants" can come and bask in your every beck and call. . .

Either way, happy 'shoppin, partner!"

- Original introduction letter to the storefront

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Hi, I’m Mike Greensboro, Chief Manager of Rexx Ranchers International Free Labor Storefront Inc.’s (IFLS for short) Transactions Department.

Rexx Ranchers is a multi-billion USD corporation based in the United Chiefdoms of Merieu. This storefront is one of its wholly-owned subsidiaries. I'm in charge of recording your orders, getting your products shipped, sorting out payment, and making sure your order completely meets your specifications. If you need to contact me for any reason, simply send a telegram through The United Chiefdoms of Merieu and to the IFLS Transactions Department.

Before you continue on, here's how the order process works:

1.) Pick either from the Leveraged Mass Assistance Order list or General Occupation Order Form.

2.) Choose what you want for your order, and specify any specifics.

3.) We will send you a confirmation of your order via this storefront (or telegram, per request).

4.) If accepted, your order will be sent to you as soon as possible.

And that's it!

Happy shopping!

Yours Truly,

Mike Greensboro, Chief Manager of Rexx Ranchers International Free Labor Storefront Inc.’s Transactions Department.

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Disclaimers: The initial price for one product starts at 1000 USD. Extra prices are added on to the initial price, are per product ordered, and based off our current supply. All prices are non-negotiable, unless stated otherwise. Discounts apply only where listed, and are not deductible from the total price of a purchase, unless stated otherwise. Should you wish to return a shipment, Rexx Ranchers Inc. - International Free Labor Storefront, reserves the right to inspect any shipments with the intent of being returned to the storefront. All returns will be treated as sales to Rexx Ranchers Inc. - International Free Labor Storefront, for the ease of transaction. Orders above one million products will be subject to the pay-as-you-go shipment plan.

Leveraged Mass Assistance Order:

Suppose you need a large amount of people. Perhaps you need populate a colony, rebuild a large area, or provide a much needed service, but your human resources are either too small, or don’t have the incentive to fulfill those demands.

Or maybe you don’t need a lot of people, but their skills are what’s important, not their looks and personality.

If that’s the case, you’ve come to the right place. Here at IFLS, we can provide you with as many people as you need, all with the correct skill sets necessary to do the job. Quality is assured, and your order’s specifications will be met verbatim. That said, we can’t provide it for you if we don’t know what you want, so be specific.

This order form allows you to get straight to the meat, and avoid piddly things like hair color, and race. If those things are important to your order, go to the General Occupation Order Form.

Step 1 - Packages

Before you provide us with specifics, look at the “packages” below. If any of the below packages meet the requirements of what you need them to do, you can simple select one, and skip to step three of the order process. Each package is given a discount proportional to how much you would have paid for them if they’d been custom selected, so you’re encouraged to pick these if they meet your needs. Remember, in order to qualify for the package discount, you are not allowed to select any extra qualities. What you see is what you get.

Manual Labor Package – 4,750,000 USD

A shipment of 5,000 healthy physically fit people between ages 14 and 49 skilled in general manual labor for construction, factory, or agricultural work. Specify which of those three you need them for. If you need cheap manual labor, and quick, this package will completely satisfy your needs. If you require specialized technical knowledge, look at the qualities listed below, or specify in your order form what specific skillset or knowledge you’re looking for.

Domestic Labor Package – 41,275 USD

A shipment of 50 healthy people, skilled in the operation and maintenance of a domestic environment, or the accomplishment of administrative tasks. This package is great if you require a dedicated service of maids, butlers, and cooks for a domestic environment, or the staffing of a hotel. Each individual is ensured to be skilled, competent, professional, and obedient.

Military Starting Package – 13,250,000 USD

A shipment of 5,000 men ages nineteen to twenty-nine. They’ve been bred since childhood to be obedient combat machines, and are among the most physically perfect men out there. They’ve each served a four year service contract in Merieu’s Armed Forces before becoming available for purchase, and are loyal and obedient to any master with the proper rank and power. This package is more than you could ask for if you’re a new nation looking to get a real armed force started.

Harem Package – 8,000 USD

This shipment includes 10, attractive females, males, or a mix of both. Please specify. Prostitution may be the oldest profession, but it’s definitely not the most rewarding one. These days, between virtual reality boning, limitless free porn, and actually meeting people, there isn’t a lot of incentive to becoming a prostitute. But if you’re soldiers need something to keep morale up, a hotel needs something to keep the guests occupied for the night, or you just want some company, this is where the package comes in. The persons sent to you will be obedient, and experienced “escorts,” capable of fulfilling most nearly any demand.

Step 2 - Specifics

If none of the above packages satisfy your needs, here is a list of specifics, with prices and discounts listed beside each one.

Virgin (Extra 105 USD Per. Free With Newborns to 9 Year Olds!)

High School Education (Extra 15 USD Per. Must at least be age seventeen)

College Degree, Associate’s (Please specify type of degree, Extra 20,000 USD Per, Must at least be age nineteen, High School Education Included Free)

College Degree, Bachelor’s (Please specify type of degree, Extra 45,000 USD Per, Must at least be age twenty-one, High School Education Included Free)

College Degree, Master’s (Please specify type of degree, Extra 70,000 USD Per, Must at least be age twenty-three, High School Education Included Free)

College Degree, P.h.D. (Please specify type of degree, Extra 100,00 USD, Must be at least age twenty-five, High School Education Included Free)

Combat Experience (Extra 1500 USD Per Year of Experience)

Skilled in Manual Labor (Extra 25 USD Per. Extra 50 USD Per if Age 14 and Below.)

Skilled in Domestic Labor (Extra 50 USD Per)

Strong (Extra 25 USD, 15 if Artificially Induced)

Extra Strong (Extra 250 USD, 150 if Artificially Induced)

Fashion Model Experience (Extra 50,000 USD Per year of experience)

Supermodel Experience (Extra 10,000,000 USD Per year of experience)

Scientific Career Background (i.e. Psychiatrists, Doctors, Historians, Marine Biologists, Quantum Physicists, etc. Please specify career, Extra 30,000 USD Per year of experience)

Acting Career Background (Extra 1,000 USD Per year of experience)

Entertainment Superstar Career Background (Please specify whom, Extra 1,000,000 USD per year of experience)

Business Career Background (Please specify career, Extra 2,500 USD Per year of experience)

Mathematics Career Background (Extra 30,000 USD Per year of experience)

Technical Labor Career Background (i.e. HVAC, Plumbing, Electrician, IT Tech, etc. Extra 15,000 USD Per year of experience)

Was their something we missed? Send a telegram to our Transactions Department about it, and we can work out a modest price for it.

Step Three - Confirmation

How many are you ordering?

Where will they be headed? Leveraged Mass Order Shipping is on us, and they’ll be transported via a reasonably unobtrusive cargo vessel, or airplane, whichever you prefer.

Any special requests? Avoiding certain waters or airspace? Making sure your products arrive cool and collected? Whatever you like, within reason, of course.

General Occupation Order Form:

Maybe you don't need a lot of people. Maybe you just need a few, highly qualified individuals. Perhaps they need to look a certain way, or act a certain way. Maybe you really only need one person, but you don't want to blow billions going to a genetic engineering lab for custom-designed masterpiece. Or what if you just want them to be treated with extra care on the way over? If all this sounds good, then just follow the steps below, and your fresh new products will be on their way!

But what if your order is really complicated? What if you need someone with several P.h.ds, combat experience, an obscure look or personality, extreme loyalty to their masters, and still be relatively young?Then inquire about our Nursery Program! In this program, your order will be raised in one of our secret company nurseries, whose location will be disclosed to you via encrypted message. Your order(s) will be personally handled by our staff, and raised up to have the qualities you specify verbatim. The cost for raising this person will be added to your bill in addition to the base cost of your order. The total is variable based on what you order, so the total cost will be a case-by-case basis. And remember, this kind of order can take years, or even decades to fulfill. Be sure to account for that.

Now, without further adieu, the form:

Step 1 – Select Your Desired Race

1.) White
2.) Black
3.) Hispanic
4.) Asian
5.) Indian
6.) Pacific Islander (Costs an Extra 1,000 USD Per)
7.) Native American (Costs an Extra 5,000 USD Per)
8.) Albino (Extra 7,500 USD Per Person)

Step 2 – Specifics

Hair Colors -

Important Note: If only the basic hair color of the purchase(s) are specified [i.e. "Blonde" or "Redhead"], then the cheapest possible shade of that hair color will be assumed upon confirming your order. Keep this in mind, as you will not be reminded in the confirmation. This is to save time on confirming orders, and providing a smoother, faster-paced service to all customers. We're sorry for any inconvenience that arises from this, and thank you for careful attention.

Black –

Plain

Brunette (Extra 15 USD Per)

Jet Black (Extra 50 USD Per)

Midnight Blue (extra 50 USD Per)

Brown –

Deepest Brunette (Extra 25 USD Per)

Dark Brown

Milk Chocolate Brown

Chestnut Brown

Light Chestnut Brown

Auburn Brown (Extra 35 USD Per)

Heavy Golden Brown (Extra 35 USD Per)

Medium Golden Brown (Extra 15 USD Per)

Light Golden Brown

Light Golden-Reddish Brown (Extra 45 USD Per)

Light Ash Brown (Extra 5 USD Per)

Red –

Strawberry Blonde, Thicker Red (Extra 150 USD Per)

Copper (Extra 15 USD Per)

Persimmon (Extra 50 USD Per)

Tomato Red (Extra 25 USD Per)

Pumpkin (Extra 25 USD Per)

Auburn (Extra 15 USD Per)

Cherry (Extra 250 USD Per)

Crimson (Extra 25 USD Per)

Burgundy (Extra 15 USD Per)

Blonde –

Strawberry Blonde, Thicker Blonde (Extra 350 USD Per)

Flaxen (Extra 15 USD Per)

Yellow (Extra 15 USD Per)

Towheaded (Extra 3,750 USD Per, Very Limited Stock, Note: This is not a typo for ‘twoheaded,’ it is a hair color used to describe people who retain extremely light blonde hair normally lost after early childhood.)

Sandy Blonde (Extra 5 USD Per)

Golden Blonde (Extra 25 USD Per)

Dirty Blonde (Extra 5 USD Per)

Ash Blonde (Extra 1,050 Per, Limited Stock)

Gray and White Hair –

Gray (Extra 100,000 USD Per, free with ages 61+)

White (Extra 100,000 USD Per, free with ages 61+ and Albinos)

Silver (Extra 100,000 USD Per, free with ages 61+)

Eye Color -

Amber (Extra 35 USD Per)

Gray (Extra 25 USD Per)

Blue (Extra 75 USD Per)

Brown

Green (Extra 55 USD Per)

Hazel

Red (If Natural, Albinos Only. If not, Extra 75 USD Per, disregard 'artificial' discount)

Mind if it’s Artificial? Reduces Total Extra Costs By 75%!

Yes

No

Face Type-

Round (Extra 200 USD Per)

Oval (Extra 150 USD Per)

Heart (Extra 150 USD Per)

Diamond (Extra 150 USD Per)

Square (Extra 100 USD Per)

Oblong

Diamond

Triangle

Inverted Triangle

Age –

Newborn to 9 Years Old (Extra 500 USD Per, Reduces Total Costs of all Light Hair Colors by 25%)

10 to 14 Years Old (Extra 250 USD Per, Reduces Total Costs of All Light Hair Colors by 5%)

15 to 18 Years Old (Extra 150 USD Per)

19 to 29 Years Old (Extra 55 USD Per)

30 to 39 Years Old (Reduces Total Cost of all Gray and White Hair Colors by 99.99%)

40 to 49 Years Old (Reduces Total Costs of all Gray and White Hair Colors by 99.999%)

50 to 60 Years Old (Gray and White Hair Colors Free! Adds 75% Total Cost to Specifics)

61+ (Gray and White Hair Colors Free! Other Hair Colors Must Be Artificial. Strong and Extra Strong Are An Extra 2500 and 5000 USD Per, Respectively. Adds 75% Total Cost to Other Specifics)

Other Attributes –

Virgin (Extra 105 USD Per. Free With Newborns to 9 Year Olds!)

High School Education (Extra 15 USD Per. Must at least be age seventeen)

College Degree, Associate’s (Extra 20,000 USD Per, Must at least be age nineteen, High School Education Included Free)

College Degree, Bachelor’s (Extra 45,000 USD Per, Must at least be age twenty-one, High School Education Included Free)

College Degree, Master’s (Extra 70,000 USD Per, Must at least be age twenty-three, High School Education Included Free)

College Degree, P.h.D. (Extra 100,00 USD, Must be at least age twenty-five, High School Education Included Free)

Combat Experience (Extra 1500 USD Per Year of Experience)

Skilled in Manual Labor (Extra 25 USD Per. Extra 50 USD Per if Age 14 and Below.)

Skilled in Domestic Labor (Extra 50 USD Per)

Strong (Extra 25 USD, 15 if Artificially Induced)

Extra Strong (Extra 250 USD, 150 if Artificially Induced)

Fashion Model Experience (Extra 50,000 USD Per)

Supermodel Experience (Extra 50,000,000 USD Per)

Scientific Career Background (i.e. Psychiatrists, Doctors, Historians, Marine Biologists, Quantum Physicists, etc. Please specify career, Extra 30,000 USD Per)

Acting Career Background (Extra 1,000 USD Per)

Entertainment Superstar Career Background (Please specify whom, Extra 1,000,000 USD per)

Business Career Background (Please specify career, Extra 2,500 USD Per)

Mathematics Career Background (Extra 30,000 USD Per)

Technical Labor Career Background (i.e. HVAC, Plumbing, Electrician, IT Tech, etc. Extra 15,000 USD Per)

Want a girl with a cute little nose, a seventy-five year-old man who knows karate, or a historian of an ancient war? List any other specifics you desire, and we’ll work out a reasonable price!

Step Three - Personalities

Imagine a staff of perky, happy little maids tending to your every whim, or a boxing trainer who sounds and acts just like Mickey from the Rocky series. Here’s the place to order it. You can either specify exactly what kind of personality you want, where a reasonable price will be worked out in confirmation, or via telegram to the Transactions Department, or choose as many as want from the list below.

Personalities being what they are, it’s very difficult to procure the exact kind of person for everyone, so we recommend you order less than four personalities per person. And of course, obedience in all your orders is included automatically, and free of charge.

Cheerful - “Walks along with a skip in their step, and smile on their face.”
(Extra 75 USD Per)

Affectionate - "Hugs, kisses, and hand-holding. A 'touchy-feely' type."
(Extra 55 USD Per)

Hyper - “Bouncing off the walls, and full of energy!”
(Extra 150 USD Per)

Aloof - “Look like they wouldn’t care if you shot them in the foot.”
(Extra 75 USD Per)

Easy to Anger - “Punching holes in the walls because the morning coffee tastes bad.” (Extra 75 USD Per)

Childish/Immature - “They live for dirty jokes, video games, and drawing dicks on people’s faces.”
(Extra 45 USD Per)

Prankster -“Filling your underwear drawer with angry hornets is just one of their daily routines.”
(Extra 150 USD Per)

Shy - “People scare them like nothing else, and they blush when their name is called.”
(Extra 45 USD Per)

Firebrand - “Rebellious to any authority at all. They’d lead a revolution if they didn’t think revolutionaries secretly worked for the man.”
(Extra 75 USD Per, obviously these are the only exception to our normally obedient products)

Social - “Social butterfly. Life of the party. These are crass understatements for this person.”
(Extra 75 USD Per)

Seductive - “One minute you're flirting with them, the next you can't find your wallet.”
(Extra 75 USD Per)

Compulsive Liar - “They lie about their breakfast, just because it’s more interesting than the truth.”
(Extra 35 USD Per)

Incredibly Artistic - “Their next project is to repaint the Sistine Chapel.”
(Extra 150 USD Per)

Musically Gifted - “Can use their musical skills to get fame and popularity, or to serenade you with a blissful song.”
(Extra 150 USD Per)

Valley Girl - “Like, yeah, whatever, they like, don’t even care about anything anymore. Except shopping. Like, omg, shoes.” (Extra 35 USD Per)

Ditzy “Uhm, what? OMG, they’re so sorry about forgetting your birthday! They had to go to cheerleading practice that day!” (Extra 35 USD Per)

Gentle “They never run in the halls, and treat everything like it was an adorable baby bunny.”
(Extra 75 USD Per)

Culturally Educated - "Taught to walk in high society, darling, no matter the culture!"
(Extra 55 USD Per)

Extraordinarily Kind and Polite “The next Mother Teresa and Ghandi put together into one person.” (Extra 150 USD Per)


Step 4 – Confirmation

Important Notice: Please keep in mind that luxury transports are for just that; luxury. It is very difficult to transport a large amount of products in luxury transports, especially via air, and provide for them the normally excellent service they would otherwise have, were they in smaller numbers. For orders requesting numbers larger than 575 persons, it is highly recommended you order them via Standard Transport, in order to save time, money, and general aptitude among your purchased products. For example, if you need ten thousand soldiers shipped to a war-zone, do you want them showing up at a battlefield blind-drunk, and covered in hickeys? If you need to rebuild a recently war-torn colony with manual laborers, spoiling them with a month long cruise-vacation will not adequately prepare them for the hardships ahead. If you have any questions, please contact our Transactions Department via telegram for further information on this subject.

How many of each?

Wanted them transported a specific way? Regular Orders have the option of Luxury Transports. Just see the list below if you're interested. Standard Sea Transport is done by default.

Standard Sea Transport (Free!)

Luxury Sea Transport (Extra 1,000 USD Per Passenger)

Air Transport (Free!)

Luxury Air Transport (1,500 USD Per Passenger)

List of Luxury Transports

Luxury Sea Transport Vessels

- The Carpathian, a luxury palaceboat, 75,000 square feet in area, containing a Grand Hall, an onboard catering staff subject to your purchase's every beck and call, a reception yard, and a beautiful garden, tended to by a team of highly qualified professional botanists, and gardeners. The ship contains the most luxurious foodstuffs, wines, beers, liqueurs, and purified waters, in order to provide maximum comfort to it's occupants. And of course, the catering staff mentioned above will keep it in pristine condition for the voyage's entirety. All of this will be paid for by the funds provided for the purchase of the vessel.

Maximum Occupants: 50 (Assuming Two Products Per Room)


- The Triton's Glory, contains three, high-class complexes for each unit of passengers, and an onboard staff, to fulfill any of their requests, from food delivery, to private physical therapy. It also comes equipped with a main ball, hosting a wide variety of entertainment, from live performances, to dancing, restaurants, "private entertainment," among many other things. And last, but not least, a 5,000 square foot pool, equipped with a waterfall.

Maximum Occupants: 509 (Assuming Three Occupants Per Housing Unit)


- The Venus, contains pristine, 4-room housing units for each passenger, a 7,000 sq ft pool onboard, a spa, a nightclub, and a large dance ball, hosting all manners of entertainment from live performances, to dinner, and dances. It also comes with a ready-equipped staff to cater to everyone's needs.

Maximum Occupants: 575 (Assuming Four Products Per Housing Unit)


Luxury Air Transport Vessels

- The The Adonis mega-zeppelin comes complete with comfortable, two-room personal lodging, an onboard restaurant, casino, spa, nightclub, and shopping complex. Each product will be given money for spending at any of these places, taken out of the fund used to pay for the transport.

Maximum Occupants: 50 (Assuming two Products Per Housing Unit)


- The Narcissus, comes equipped with opulent, 5-room suites, an on-board restaurant, casino, spa, shopping complex, complete with an onboard staff of smoking-hot manservants at the passenger's beck and call. Each product will be given money provided through the funds paid for the transport.

Maximum Occupants: 50 (Assuming Two Products Per Housing Unit)


-The Eagle is a private jet, with an on-board flight-attendant staff to serve them free drinks, food, and anything they require as per the means they can provide. The interior is complete with 100% cashmere leather and spun glass furniture, providing the most comfortable, and visually pleasing scenery possible.

There are three bathrooms inside, two for separate genders, one for unisex, and all are equipped with baby-changing and care stations.

Maximum Occupants: 35


- The Sultan, our newest, and currently the largest, private jet in our stock. Your products will be treated to lodgings and seating designed for maximum comfort, with an onboard staff waiting to take their every order. Three course meals will be provided throughout the trip, along with in flight movies, and other electronic entertainment. WiFi access will also be available throughout the trip.

Maximum Occupants: 135


Lastly, where to?

If you would be so kind as to calculate your own, honest total, that would be much obliged.

Selling

Crime running rampant? Suspicious radical activists? Broke immigrants pouring into your nation by the thousands? We can take care of these unsightly people quickly. Hell, we'll even pay you a hefty wad of cash for the opportunity. And fortunately for you, selling merchandise to us is a bit more flexible in terms payment. Just send a telegram to our Transactions Department, if you're interested, and we'll discuss the best price for what you're offering.

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We hope you enjoy your new work force! Thank you for shopping with IFLS, and remember us next time you’re in need of more human resources!

[Melqan]

Feel free to auction some of your slaves in the Melqani International Slave and Small Arms Auction!

-High Lord Jy'ozefv I'ijikirix

[ viewtopic.php?f=6&t=208509 ]

[Merieu]

(( Bump. ))

[Merieu]

(( Bumpotimus. ))

[Merieu]

(( Bomp. ))

[Cilistia Novaren]

The King Vaerhun Carnaevon I has seen fit to set aside a fund of a total of one-hundred billion (100,000,000,000.00) currency for the purchase of roughly one-hundred-twelve million five-hundred thousand(112,500,000) slaves from "Rexx Ranchers Inc" for the purpose of liberation and re-education where applicable. Due to the massive nature of the purchase, it shall be done in much smaller increments over the next number of years, as possible for the company previously mentioned to fill the order. The orders shall be placed within three categories of the Leveraged Mass Assistance, those being:

10,000 Manual Labour Packages, with a total of 50 million slaves

1,000,000 Domestic Labour Packages, with a total of 50 million slaves

1,250,000 Harem Packages, with a total of 12.5 million slaves

Let any funding left over by the hundred billion provided for this purpose be used for any applicable expenses, such as medical, transport, etc.

This purchase is, as per our TG conversing, to be partially made in an RP and is to be done in secret (that is to say, not letting the company know that they are dealing with an FT empire) and in small spats of anywhere from one to a dozen orders over the next few years. This post is simply to show how many slaves were purchased over this amount of time, and the exacts of how they are all to be gotten will be worked out later, in the RP.

Edit: Here is the RP involving the slave trade and some follow up, if anyone is interested. It may give some good insight as to the condition of the slaves and some basic aesthetic and background info. Enjoy.

[Merieu]

(( As large an order as that was, the more the merrier! Bump. ))

[Kingborough]

OOC: Not able to order anything as slavery is illegal in my region, but I'd like to give you a thumbs up - this is the first slave storefront that I've seen which is decently laid out, well thought out and has grammar! You actually tempt me to buy, whereas most of the time I can't even stand to put myself through reading slave market storefronts because of the general low quality elsewhere.

[Kupanda]

just give me 50 of everything

[Merieu]

OOC: Not able to order anything as slavery is illegal in my region, but I'd like to give you a thumbs up - this is the first slave storefront that I've seen which is decently laid out, well thought out and has grammar! You actually tempt me to buy, whereas most of the time I can't even stand to put myself through reading slave market storefronts because of the general low quality elsewhere.

(( Oh, stop it, you.

But don't let petty things like legality stop you! Surely there's at least one hidden private island in your nation? ))

just give me 50 of everything

-- To the Executive Office of the United States of Kupanda

Dear Sir or Maddam,

The vagueness of your order has left us to make a number of assumptions. We have assumed that you want fifty orders of each package from the Leveraged Mass Assistance Order, and desire them to be delivered by boat to the port in your nation closest to Merieu.

This would mean that your order is:

x50 Manual Labor Packages (250,000 people of mixed age and gender)

x50 Domestic Labor Packages (2,500 people of mixed age and gender)

x50 Military Starting Packages (250,000 men and woman between the ages of 19 to 29)

x50 Harem Packages (500 women between the ages 15 and 49)

Your total comes to 902,463,750 million NSD.

Is all this information correct?

[Merieu]

(( Bump. ))

[Kakistopolis]

As you may or may not be aware, cannibalism and ritual sacrifice are both legal and thriving industries in Kakistopolis, however these practices have begun to stymie our population growth. People just can't wait to kill and eat someone on our streets that some areas of Kakistopolis have become over-hunted, and game wardens have begun to suggest we begin importing chattel commodities to restock our suburban killing fields.

We don't have much use for slave labor as much of our manufacturing and agricultural industries are automated. But a steady supply of your slaves could keep meat on Kakistopolitan dinner tables for years to come.

Do you have any chattel commodities developed for harvesting and eating?

[Merieu]

Dear Sir or Maddam,

As we're sure you know, the most edible of humans are young females, preferably below the age of 30. This is due to their more sinewy tissue, resulting in a succulent meal when cooked. The same can also be achieved with teenage boys.

So if you're asking for a shipment of human chattel, we're one step ahead of you!

How many people would you like, and where shall we ship them to?

[Kakistopolis]

Dear Sir or Maddam,

As we're sure you know, the most edible of humans are young females, preferably below the age of 30. This is due to their more sinewy tissue, resulting in a succulent meal when cooked. The same can also be achieved with teenage boys.

So if you're asking for a shipment of human chattel, we're one step ahead of you!

How many people would you like, and where shall we ship them to?

The Kakistopolitan palette varies of course, but most prefer to cut steaks right off the body and grill them right on the spot, in front of the wailing chattel-mealpiece. With proper culinary care, a chattel-mealpiece can be kept alive for a good three to five banquets or block parties.

The Gunball season is about to start, and people are going to want fresh, legally disenfranchished commodities for their tailgate parties.

Can you deliver living, easily herded chattel in bulk? And can you authenticate the former nationality of the chattel? Some Kakistopolitans are very picky about the former citizenship status of their cuisine.

[Merieu]

Dear Sir or Maddam,

As we're sure you know, the most edible of humans are young females, preferably below the age of 30. This is due to their more sinewy tissue, resulting in a succulent meal when cooked. The same can also be achieved with teenage boys.

So if you're asking for a shipment of human chattel, we're one step ahead of you!

How many people would you like, and where shall we ship them to?

The Kakistopolitan palette varies of course, but most prefer to cut steaks right off the body and grill them right on the spot, in front of the wailing chattel-mealpiece. With proper culinary care, a chattel-mealpiece can be kept alive for a good three to five banquets or block parties.

The Gunball season is about to start, and people are going to want fresh, legally disenfranchished commodities for their tailgate parties.

Can you deliver living, easily herded chattel in bulk? And can you authenticate the former nationality of the chattel? Some Kakistopolitans are very picky about the former citizenship status of their cuisine.

But of course! Can't have any thick-skinned and naturally muscular races polluting the pallets with meat the consistency of rubber! You need merely specify what you desire, and we shall ship them over!

[Canary]

Missive to International Free Labor

ENCRYPTED MISSIVE, TOP SECRET

Dear CEO of International Free Labor,

The Princely Duca of Canary presently requires a partner, and His Majesty would not like to go to all the hassle of dating - a problematic experience when you rule a country, what with the press following you. Therefore His Majesty would like to inquire about purchasing a single attractive and athletic white male virgin of around 21 years of age with natural towheaded hair, and non-artificial blue eyes, with a bachelors degree in politics and who is social, a firebrand, and gentle. We would like him delivered via your Eagle private jet to the airstrip in the town of Armah, Canary.

If you could keep this transaction secret, that would be perfect as slavery is illegal in our region and while this transaction is being made with the purpose of making our purchase a free man and consort of our Princely Duca, some would use it to smear our image.

I believe the total amount owed is $50,710, correct?

Regards,
John Kane,
The Secretary to the Princely Duca,

[Kakistopolis]

The Kakistopolitan palette varies of course, but most prefer to cut steaks right off the body and grill them right on the spot, in front of the wailing chattel-mealpiece. With proper culinary care, a chattel-mealpiece can be kept alive for a good three to five banquets or block parties.

The Gunball season is about to start, and people are going to want fresh, legally disenfranchished commodities for their tailgate parties.

Can you deliver living, easily herded chattel in bulk? And can you authenticate the former nationality of the chattel? Some Kakistopolitans are very picky about the former citizenship status of their cuisine.

But of course! Can't have any thick-skinned and naturally muscular races polluting the pallets with meat the consistency of rubber! You need merely specify what you desire, and we shall ship them over!

We'd actually like a listing of the stock available, and a guarantee of long-term service commitment. The last trading partner we had reneged and granted free civil rights to their chattel stock that not even Kakistopolitans with the most expensive civil liberties insurance plans enjoy. Madness!

[Merieu]

Missive to International Free Labor

ENCRYPTED MISSIVE, TOP SECRET

Dear CEO of International Free Labor,

The Princely Duca of Canary presently requires a partner, and His Majesty would not like to go to all the hassle of dating - a problematic experience when you rule a country, what with the press following you. Therefore His Majesty would like to inquire about purchasing a single attractive and athletic white male virgin of around 21 years of age with natural towheaded hair, and non-artificial blue eyes, with a bachelors degree in politics and who is social, a firebrand, and gentle. We would like him delivered via your Eagle private jet to the airstrip in the town of Armah, Canary.

If you could keep this transaction secret, that would be perfect as slavery is illegal in our region and while this transaction is being made with the purpose of making our purchase a free man and consort of our Princely Duca, some would use it to smear our image.

I believe the total amount owed is $50,710, correct?

Regards,
John Kane,
The Secretary to the Princely Duca,

At IFLS, we guarantee secrecy and discretion. This order shall be no different.

As it happens, one such person was only recently captured from a small monastic community, which had military forces sent upon them due to refusals to pay certain taxes. It was apparently a protest against the government to acquire welfare and safety nets for the impoverished. They were to be executed for disobeying the highest laws of the Chiefdom, but we at the IFLS found their rare qualities admirable, and so bought them from the armed forces, promising them a good home elsewhere.

It is fortunate, then, that you are to be one of their good homes.

The total comes to 51,635 USD. You merely forgot to factor the fare for travel on the Eagle.

To complete the order, simply wire the money to the Transactions Department. Once the invoice has been accepted, your order will be shipped off ASAP to the specified destination.

[Merieu]

But of course! Can't have any thick-skinned and naturally muscular races polluting the pallets with meat the consistency of rubber! You need merely specify what you desire, and we shall ship them over!

We'd actually like a listing of the stock available, and a guarantee of long-term service commitment. The last trading partner we had reneged and granted free civil rights to their chattel stock that not even Kakistopolitans with the most expensive civil liberties insurance plans enjoy. Madness!

The guarantee of long-term service is no issue. We at the IFLS have had over a decade of experience in the Free Labor business, with many satisfied clients.

But as for the list, well, the list is all of humanity.

We can acquire any human you desire and have them shipped anywhere in your nation, secretly or otherwise. They will be in any state you want them to be, any frame of mind, and in your case, any taste.

As such, giving you a list would be pointless. Think of this place as a five-star restaurant. A menu exists, as shown above, but why did you come to a place of such prestige if you were going to order straight off the menu? Your order is free-form. Simply tell us what you'd like, and they will be sent exactly as asked.

[Canary]

Missive To IFL

ENCRYPTED, TOP SECRET

Apologies for miscalculating the cost! We are distraught that we made such a mistake and we hope you won't think the worst of us.
We have wired the money through and eagerly await the arrival of our order. Thank you for your swift response and we are happy you have such a slave available despite our very specific requests, it is truly a delight working with your company.

Regards,
John Kane,
The Secretary to the Princely Duca,

[Kakistopolis]

We'd actually like a listing of the stock available, and a guarantee of long-term service commitment. The last trading partner we had reneged and granted free civil rights to their chattel stock that not even Kakistopolitans with the most expensive civil liberties insurance plans enjoy. Madness!

The guarantee of long-term service is no issue. We at the IFLS have had over a decade of experience in the Free Labor business, with many satisfied clients.

But as for the list, well, the list is all of humanity.

We can acquire any human you desire and have them shipped anywhere in your nation, secretly or otherwise. They will be in any state you want them to be, any frame of mind, and in your case, any taste.

As such, giving you a list would be pointless. Think of this place as a five-star restaurant. A menu exists, as shown above, but why did you come to a place of such prestige if you were going to order straight off the menu? Your order is free-form. Simply tell us what you'd like, and they will be sent exactly as asked.

The various licensed human sacrifice organizations in Kakistopolis' Henotheon City would like a "sampler platter." The Cult of Honchus is particularly interested in fattened males who will burn a long time for the upcoming Original Wednesday festival.

[Merieu]

The guarantee of long-term service is no issue. We at the IFLS have had over a decade of experience in the Free Labor business, with many satisfied clients.

But as for the list, well, the list is all of humanity.

We can acquire any human you desire and have them shipped anywhere in your nation, secretly or otherwise. They will be in any state you want them to be, any frame of mind, and in your case, any taste.

As such, giving you a list would be pointless. Think of this place as a five-star restaurant. A menu exists, as shown above, but why did you come to a place of such prestige if you were going to order straight off the menu? Your order is free-form. Simply tell us what you'd like, and they will be sent exactly as asked.

The various licensed human sacrifice organizations in Kakistopolis' Henotheon City would like a "sampler platter." The Cult of Honchus is particularly interested in fattened males who will burn a long time for the upcoming Original Wednesday festival.

With all due respect to the fine institutions that govern your nation, we are not the kind of business that gives "sampler platters."

And perhaps you are not understanding us clearly. The list mentioned above is what we have to offer. We could offer you some kind of menu, but we would just be copying the order forms listed above, as we are not chefs of the human flesh, and are unable to offer quality choices in terms of food consumption, in spit of the earlier, misguided five-star restaurant metaphor.

This is a resource acquisition and transportation service. We apologize if you feel mislead, and offer our humblest apologies if you feel your time has been misspent. We can only offer the persons unnecessary for your people to do their own cooking, and no more.

[Moosemenland]

Excuse me good sir, I, the presidents loyal assistant have been sent here to order a personal harem.
I would like to order one Harem Package. He would prefer that they be white female virgins, with Dark Brown hair. Eye color doesn't matter but if i had to pick brown. He wants them to be hyper and we'll have them delivered via The Sultan.
Please have it land on the president's personal airstrip just east of the capital. oh, and the matter of the bill. You shall be paid immediately.

[Merieu]

Excuse me good sir, I, the presidents loyal assistant have been sent here to order a personal harem.
I would like to order one Harem Package. He would prefer that they be white female virgins, with Dark Brown hair. Eye color doesn't matter but if i had to pick brown. He wants them to be hyper and we'll have them delivered via The Sultan.
Please have it land on the president's personal airstrip just east of the capital. oh, and the matter of the bill. You shall be paid immediately.

Dear Sir or Maddam,

Unfortunately, the Harem Package implies that you don't care about the specifics of the women, and want them sexually experienced. Neither are the case for your order, but this only means you're ordering ten people matching your description as opposed to a discounted package.

As you did not specify their age, we have selected them to be between the ages of 19 to 29.

The total comes to 15,075 USD. As soon as payment is wired, your order will be shipped off ASAP.

Thank you for choosing us as your free labor provider!

[Hydronium]

I would like one pacific island battle trained (c'mon jimmy, this way to freedom!!!!)