no reason wars

[Gillenor]

to many times nations even regions are going
to war with others for no reason
how can this be put a stop to?

[Philimbesi]

to many times nations even regions are going
to war with others for no reason
how can this be put a stop to?

Everyone can just do what I say... then we'll all be fine.

[Flibbleites]

to many times nations even regions are going
to war with others for no reason
how can this be put a stop to?

Everyone can just do what I say... then we'll all be fine.

No, you'll do as I say, remember I've got access to the freaking Chuichistani Death Star.

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

[Teaulictin]

to many times nations even regions are going
to war with others for no reason
how can this be put a stop to?

Why do we want it to stop?

[Bavin]

to many times nations even regions are going
to war with others for no reason
how can this be put a stop to?

It's because they are noobs, and didn't read the wonderful guide by third Spanish states at the top of II

[Rutianas]

No, you'll do as I say, remember I've got access to the freaking Chuichistani Death Star.

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

All hail Supreme Master Bob!

[Romandium]

Maybe because..we...like to fight war!!!!

[Tzorsland]

No, you'll do as I say, remember I've got access to the freaking Chuichistani Death Star.

You may have access to the "freaking Chuichistani Death Star," but we have access to the complete schema for the platform, and we know someone stupid enough to exploit its only fatal weakness. Don't make us use Flash Blonde against you. (The farce is strong in that one, from what I've been told.)

[North Wiedna]

It was Naumann's fault!
He declared war on us!

[Flibbleites]

No, you'll do as I say, remember I've got access to the freaking Chuichistani Death Star.

You may have access to the "freaking Chuichistani Death Star," but we have access to the complete schema for the platform, and we know someone stupid enough to exploit its only fatal weakness. Don't make us use Flash Blonde against you. (The farce is strong in that one, from what I've been told.)

If you're referring to the extraneous exhaust port, it's been removed. Besides, you really don't want it to be blown up right now, it's currently parked in a location where if it were to explode, most of the debris would fall on your nation.

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

[Philimbesi]

No, you'll do as I say, remember I've got access to the freaking Chuichistani Death Star.

You may have access to the "freaking Chuichistani Death Star," but we have access to the complete schema for the platform, and we know someone stupid enough to exploit its only fatal weakness. Don't make us use Flash Blonde against you. (The farce is strong in that one, from what I've been told.)

If you're referring to the extraneous exhaust port, it's been removed. Besides, you really don't want it to be blown up right now, it's currently parked in a location where if it were to explode, most of the debris would fall on your nation.

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

Besides that explosion is only going to blow the top and the bottom of conveniently leaving the main weapon intact. None-the-less I'm sure there's another weakness probably an opening around 2 meters which is good cause, I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two meters.

[Justorica]

No, you'll do as I say, remember I've got access to the freaking Chuichistani Death Star.

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

Ha ha ha! Don't you remember? I stole the keys to the mini van that takes you to the death star. And then I stole the keys to the death star. Oh ya, that's right after I stole the keys I hit you with the "Ancient Justorican Rake of Make Someone Forget What You Stole."

[Flibbleites]

No, you'll do as I say, remember I've got access to the freaking Chuichistani Death Star.

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

Ha ha ha! Don't you remember? I stole the keys to the mini van that takes you to the death star. And then I stole the keys to the death star. Oh ya, that's right after I stole the keys I hit you with the "Ancient Justorican Rake of Make Someone Forget What You Stole."

You stole the keys to a minivan from me? That's odd, I've never owned a minivan. After all, I'm single and have no kids, why on Earth would I need a minivan? Besides, how would a land based vehicle like a minivan be able to take someone to a space station like the Death Star?

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

[Cobdenia]

You're mighty deathstar is no match for my mighty death zeppellin...

Oh wait, hang, no. Your deathstar is probably far more powerful then the death zeppellin. I mean, all that can do is drop bombs and randomly explode when you least expect. Actually, I think it's more dangerous to the crew and passengers then those below it. Urm...

How would you like two free tickets to travel on the death zeppellin?

[Philimbesi]

You're mighty deathstar is no match for my mighty death zeppellin...

Oh wait, hang, no. Your deathstar is probably far more powerful then the death zeppellin. I mean, all that can do is drop bombs and randomly explode when you least expect. Actually, I think it's more dangerous to the crew and passengers then those below it. Urm...

How would you like two free tickets to travel on the death zeppellin?

I submit that our Death Mini-Van of Hell can take both your Zepplin and your Death Star.

[Dr Horrible Land]

In the name of the Evil League of Evil, we hereby declare war on Gillenor because by keeping horses as pets they have angered our great leader, Bad Horse.

See, there is a reason.

[Cobdenia]

You're mighty deathstar is no match for my mighty death zeppellin...

Oh wait, hang, no. Your deathstar is probably far more powerful then the death zeppellin. I mean, all that can do is drop bombs and randomly explode when you least expect. Actually, I think it's more dangerous to the crew and passengers then those below it. Urm...

How would you like two free tickets to travel on the death zeppellin?

I submit that our Death Mini-Van of Hell can take both your Zepplin and your Death Star.

"I accept your challenge!" retorted Sir Cyril, as he turned to his secretary

"Miss Heisenberg-Litte, get me the the Commander in Cheif of Zeppellin Command at the Air Ministry!"

"At once" Replied Miss Heisenberg-Little, picking up the telephone and contacting the operator. A couple of minutes passed as the connections were made (a suprisingly complicated procedure, considering all the technological switches due to the time warp), and handled the telephone to Sir Cyril. He began to speak into it

"What ho, is that CinCZep" he pronounced it Sinkzep

"Yes, Sir Cyril. What can I do for you"

"I want you to teach those Philimbisians a lessen they will never forget. Send the Death Zeppellin to take out there death mini-van"

"What's a mini van?"

"I haven't a clue."

"Right. Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, remember what happened the last time we used the death zeppellin."

"Remember? I still have the singed trousers! But dammit, they're being obstreperous"

"Ob-what-er-what?"

"Bolshy"

"Ah, why didn't you say! Well, I'll see what I can do".

CinCZep put down his telephone, and started the procedure. Soon, the telephone lines were a flurry, until, eventually, the orders came through to 101 "Death Zeppellin" squadron, and thier commanding officer, Wing Commander Johnny "Fartflaps" MacGee. He turned to his men, and outlined the mission

"But Sir, isn't this rather stupid? I mean, remember what happened last time..."

"Yes, I do, Jupp, yes I do. My garden still hasn't recovered. But it must be done. Right men, to the Zeppelin"

They climed aboard the Death Zeppelin, with it's giant skull painted on the front, and, disengaged the mooring lines and engaged the Engine. MacGee turned to his number one

"Full Speed Ahead"

The Zeppellin moved impercetably faster

"I said Full Speed Ahead!"

"Sir, this is full speed ahead. We're in a f***ing zeppelin, in case you forgot...."

[Philimbesi]

Bartlet slammed his fist on his desk. "Damit who leaked the existence of the DMoH! Now I've got this lumbering balloon closing in"

"We're sorry sir, but we're not sure where the leak came from"

"Nevermind, we've been looking for a chance to test it, we might as well..."

"Ready the weapon"

In a garage under the presidential compound 5 members of the Philimbesi Army walked wordlessly to special holding area containing the DMoH. The were specially trained and icewater flowed in their veins, yet they were nervous... it was their first test, and the Death Zepplin was a well known and respected foe.

After correct codes were entered the garage door began to lift. There gleaming was a Modified Philimbesi FamilyTruckster Minivan, Avacado Green with wood vaneer panels, all windows tinted.

The pilot spoke first codenamed Dad, he was in charge of the loading of the van. "Ok only the essentials and I hope everyone went to the bathroom before we left the barracks because once we get moving I will not be pulling over till we get to the Death Zeppelin"

The back oped up and the rear gunners (little brother and little sister) began loading the weapons, after a minute the left gunner said dad is little sister is trying to bring the 30 MM gun again, you said I got to use it next! Little sister let little brother us the 30 we talked about this. Little sister looked up at the navigator, mom and said "Mom didn't little brother use the 30 last week", mom said "your right your sister gets the 30 this time". "You always take his side."

"Don't make me come back there, we're not even out of the garage yet!" Dad said.... and the loading of the weapons continued.

[Cobdenia]

"Where are we number one?" asked MacGee, as they sailed over the sea

"Just coming to the end of Cobdenian Air Space, and about to pass through the time vortex. Shall I engage the RPCD?"

Due to Cobdenia's position as a 1930's nation in a time vortex , strange things happen when one leaves Cobdenian airspace and enters a different era - the most notable of which is all objects that pass through acheive contemporaneous form, i.e. a laptop brought from the modern era into Cobdenia turns into a typewriter, and a typewriter taken outside of Cobdenia becomes a laptop. However, as this effects everything, this can cause problems, for example, if one is flying a Eurofighter Typhoon into Cobdenia, it becomes a Hawker Fury - as most pilots of Eurofighter Typhoons would know how to fly a biplane, this isn't a problem for them. However, the reverse is not true. A Cobdenian Hawker Fury pilot flying into the modern would have no clue how to fly a Eurofighter, leading to inevitable problems. For this reason, Cobdenian scientist created the Role Play Convenience Device, or RPCD. This prevents Cobdenian objects from taking on a modern form by convincing the object itself that is not an old object, but rather a working reproduction of an old object, accurate to the finest detail, and thus avoiding the inherent problems of travel out of the vortex. Unfortunately, it doesn't work in reverse.

"Has this craft been out of the vortex before, number one?"

"No sir"

"Well, leave it off and see what happens"

They did. And as they passed through the vortex, they found that the Zeppelin had not, as they expected, turned itself into a futuristic zeppellin (due to the fact that there are no war zeppellins in the modern era), but rather turned itself into the equivalent - an intercontinental ballistic missile, with several scared members of the Royal Cobdenian Air Force clinging on to the side"Turn it on! Turn it f***ing on!" shouted the MacGee, through the shreiking wind

"I can't reach it" screamed the first officer

"Can anyone reach the damned thing"

"I am able to do the reaching of the device, Wing Commander sahib" replied one of native Cobdenian aircraftmen, in his sing song accent.

"Well, bloody well engage it"

"Oh, yes sahib. It will be done ec dum jeldi, sahib" He replied, flicking the switch. As suddenly as it had changed to a an ICBM, it returned to it's natural form of a zeppellin, though now instead of sturdy, upright crewmen in smart RCoAF uniforms , it was full of quivering wrecks in torn tunics and excrement stained trousers screaming for there respective mothers. The Wing Commander, being British, an officer, and a gentleman to boot, regained his composure, and stiffened his upper lip

"I think in future we will refrain from doing that."

[Belriel]

*scratches his head and proceeds to the next topic*