[DRAFT] Zombie Rights Accord

[Libtaria]

Libtaria stands that anyone who's played Halo knows how sucky plasma is against zombies.

We maintain that with a sufficient knowledge of science one would know just how poorly depicted plasma weapons are in those games. We are amazed that they are still so epic.

Libtaria acknowledges your point and fully concedes it to you, however we still firmly maintain that there is nothing better against a zombie than a good 'ol shotgun.

[Kreanoltha]

We maintain that with a sufficient knowledge of science one would know just how poorly depicted plasma weapons are in those games. We are amazed that they are still so epic.

Libtaria acknowledges your point and fully concedes it to you, however we still firmly maintain that there is nothing better against a zombie than a good 'ol shotgun.

We acknowledge and concede that a shotgun is both fun and enjoyable. However we maintain that in a combat situation a plasma rifle's rate of fire and the fact that they do not need to be reloaded make it the superior weapon.

[Manticore Reborn]

The Star Kingdom of Manticore Reborn cannot support this proposal as we find the basic supposition to be flawed:

REALIZING that Zombies are the reanimated corpses of various species;

We kindly ask the ambassador from Cardoness what about people infected with Brain Parasites, Neurotoxins, Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease or under the influence of nanobots. All of these can mimic the condition of Zombie-ism.

[Flibbleites]

Napalm, then more fire, then some cluster bombs, then some Rockets, then some artillary, then some more rockets, then some more bombing, then some tanks to drive them over, then some IFVs to run them over, then some more tanks to run them over, a Russian light vehicle squad to run them over, then another pass by the Light vehicles, then another pass by the tanks, and then a final battlefield sanitation by some infantry.

Sounds like a plan.

Yeah, a bad one. Setting a zombie on fire it not an efficient method of killing them, it takes too long for the fire to destroy the brain. Plus while it's burning it's still coming after you and possibly starting other fires. Am I the only person here who's read the Zombie Survival Guide?

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

[Manticore Reborn]

Am I the only person here who's read the Zombie Survival Guide?

No you are not.

[Cardoness]

The Star Kingdom of Manticore Reborn cannot support this proposal as we find the basic supposition to be flawed:

REALIZING that Zombies are the reanimated corpses of various species;

We kindly ask the ambassador from Cardoness what about people infected with Brain Parasites, Neurotoxins, Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease or under the influence of nanobots. All of these can mimic the condition of Zombie-ism.

They would still be people, though people mimicking Zombie behavior, and as such keep whatever human rights they already had for someone in their condition.

[New Braunschweig]

Am I the only person here who's read the Zombie Survival Guide?

No you are not.

I second that.

[Grasmere]

No you are not.

I second that.

Thirded. Also, I believe a semi-automatic, accurate rifle in a large cartridge would be the most effective zombie weapon (M1 Carbine).

[Great Nepal]

I second that.

Thirded. Also, I believe a semi-automatic, accurate rifle in a large cartridge would be the most effective zombie weapon (M1 Carbine).

Why read those stupid guides? Best way is to cremate the body.

[Bajireyn]

I second that.

Thirded. Also, I believe a semi-automatic, accurate rifle in a large cartridge would be the most effective zombie weapon (M1 Carbine).

fourthed no, an M1 carbine with cherry PIE rounds

[Flibbleites]

Thirded. Also, I believe a semi-automatic, accurate rifle in a large cartridge would be the most effective zombie weapon (M1 Carbine).

Why read those stupid guides? Best way is to cremate the body.

You fool! If you try to burn a zombie while it's still mobile you run the risk of it spreading the fire.

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

[Cardoness]

All of this talk just goes to prove the desperate need for Zombie rights to be recognized. (However, until such time, we agree that the M1 or a semi-auto combat shotgun would make the best ranged weapons, but never underestimate the need for a good melee weapon.)

[Needell]

Ok, look, here's the real issue: fuck zombies. I enjoy them in my films but not in my country, I vote that eater than killing them all we simply send them to Somalia where they can live in relative solitude with pirates.

[Severania]

You've got to be kidding me.

[Cardoness]

You've got to be kidding me.

Yes

[The GMZ]

The World Assembly

REALIZING that Zombies are the reanimated corpses of various species;

ACKNOWLEDGES that Zombies look ugly, smell bad, and act in a most peculiar manner;

ALSO ACKNOWLEDGES that Zombies do not kill others, but rather, turns them into Zombies, thereby allowing such individuals to transcend and exist in an altered state of being;

BELIEVING this to be their only means of reproduction;

UNDERSTANDING that the only way to prevent this from happening is the mass extension of the transspecies Zombies;

FINDING this to be genocide and unacceptable;

HEREBY extends full and equal rights to the Zombies of a species as are available to the non Zombies of that same species.

We cannot get behind this although we don't believe in the extermination of zombies as they are on of the few natural predators we have and thus help in population control, we cannot extend these creatures the rights that their species enjoys, They have transcended into an altered state of being but usually not voluntary now if someone or something chose to become a zombie it would be a different matter

[Banjamos]

Why read those stupid guides? Best way is to cremate the body.

You fool! If you try to burn a zombie while it's still mobile you run the risk of it spreading the fire.

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

Which is why you run it over quite a bit after wards

It's the way the Russians did it in World War Z....

[Oceanic Vakiadia]

although no zombies have been spotted in our nation, from the stories we have been told they are only good for target practice and weapon tests. that said, we will never vote for anything of this premise.

[Mediterreania]

Hey there nice little zombie...ARRRGHGHH STOP CHEWIWNG ON MY...braaaaaaaaains....

[Mediterreania]

You fool! If you try to burn a zombie while it's still mobile you run the risk of it spreading the fire.

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

Which is why you run it over quite a bit after wards

It's the way the Russians did it in World War Z....

That will be the best part of the movie adaptation...

[Mediterreania]

I second that.

Thirded. Also, I believe a semi-automatic, accurate rifle in a large cartridge would be the most effective zombie weapon (M1 Carbine).

Only with discipline. Otherwise, a bolt-action rifle forces self-control.

[Icesun]

Unable to support due to the vast number of citizens that hunt Zombies for sport. Also, utterly rediculous idea as supporting would likely end up in ones own annilihation. Have no wish to become a zombie.

With Regards,
Ms. Elizabeth A. Schules
President,
The Constitutional Monarchy of Icesun,
The Midwestern Rim.

On another note: Funny idea.

[Great Nepal]

Why read those stupid guides? Best way is to cremate the body.

You fool! If you try to burn a zombie while it's still mobile you run the risk of it spreading the fire.

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

I mean Cremate the body - not bury it. Surelly once reduced to basic elements no zombies can come... right?

[Bears Armed]

Ok, look, here's the real issue: fuck zombies.

"No way!"

[The Eternal Kawaii]

although no zombies have been spotted in our nation, from the stories we have been told they are only good for target practice and weapon tests. that said, we will never vote for anything of this premise.

In the Name of the Eternal Kawaii, may the Cute One be praised

As a nation which has been overrun by zombies, we stand in opposition to any misguided attempts to grant them rights. It's all well and good to cry about the plight of the "differently vital" or the "life impaired", but as we have seen first-hand, if you give these beings an inch, the next thing you know they'll be chewing on your brains.