The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Murray the Evil Skull]

"Ya know Murray, I ain't even real sure how I got here. Did you bring me? Last thing I remember I was stumblin' around down in the GA chamber lookin' for the Thessadorian ambassador."

He picks up the boiled egg and eats it in two bites, then eats a handful of Doritos. Finishing off the ham and cheese, he then drinks the last of the tomato juice and emits a loud belch. Without looking he reaches over (much less shakily now) and selects a pint from among the 15 on the bar tray.

"Hair of the dog. Hey man, help yourself. There's more where this came from. Want me to get you a straw?"

"A straw would do nicely, mortal.....Much obliged.", Murray answered.

"I didn't bring you here, mortal. You stumbled in and passed out, after playing some Blue Oyster Cult on your boombox.", the evilest of skulls said after pausing and taking a drink.

[The Palentine]

The good but unwholesome senator Sulla's secretary, Velma, walked into the bar. It did not appear as if she was having a good day. all she wanted was to relax and have a few drinks, but a patron groped her as she walked over to her table. Turning she nailed the poor bastard with a wicked right cross and said,

"Watch the hands, buster! This ain't a petting zoo!"

Finally she sat down and ordered five martinis from the barmaid,
"Line them up here. My boss might be in, and i don't want to have to rush to catch up with him.", she said as she pointed to a spot on the table.

When the drinks arrived, she proceded to down them one right after another.

[Murray the Evil Skull]

murray looked over at Mickey and said,
"You know, mortal, I haven't seen Angus anywhere around these parts. You don't think anything happened to him, do you, mortal?

[Koumpounophobia]

The good but unwholesome senator Sulla's secretary, Velma, walked into the bar. It did not appear as if she was having a good day. all she wanted was to relax and have a few drinks, but a patron groped her as she walked over to her table. Turning she nailed the poor bastard with a wicked right cross and said,

"Watch the hands, buster! This ain't a petting zoo!"

Finally she sat down and ordered five martinis from the barmaid,
"Line them up here. My boss might be in, and i don't want to have to rush to catch up with him.", she said as she pointed to a spot on the table.

When the drinks arrived, she proceded to down them one right after another.

Buscemi crumpled to the floor from the strike, and proceeded to incorrectly quote himself from Armageddon.

[77 Camaro]

"A straw would do nicely, mortal.....Much obliged.", Murray answered.

"I didn't bring you here, mortal. You stumbled in and passed out, after playing some Blue Oyster Cult on your boombox.", the evilest of skulls said after pausing and taking a drink.

murray looked over at Mickey and said,
"You know, mortal, I haven't seen Angus anywhere around these parts. You don't think anything happened to him, do you, mortal?

Finishing the last of the 15 pints, Mickey slams the empty glass down on the table.

"My boombox! You mean I brought it up here? Where is it?"

Mickey Special looks around and finally spies the boombox pushed up under a table near where he passed out. He retrieves the device and sits back down next Murray.

"Angus oughta be around somewhere. He lives in the Bar now."

"ANGUS! Hey Angus where you at?"

"I know what'll get him", he says to Murray.

Mickey Special removes the Blue Oyster Cult CD (which he doesn't remember playing) from the boombox and replaces it with "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" by AC/DC. He hits "play" and cranks the volume. Within seconds a little monkey wearing an apron charges out of the kitchen, runs across Buscemi, and jumps atop Mickey special's head, screeching and screaming excitedly. Mickey Special dislodges the animal from his head and sits it next to Murray.

"Angus, what the fuck! Why're you wearin' an apron? They been makin' you do dishes?"

The monkey jumps up and down and screeches some more. Mickey Special goes to the bar for 15 more pints of beer and a couple of small glasses for Angus. When he returns he sits a pint in front of Murray and a small glass in front of Angus. He also takes one for himself.

He turns to Murray.

"Hey Murray, you still do some singin,? Angus here plays drums, I got my Les Paul and amp down in the trunk of the car, wherever the car's at. All we need is a bassist. Whaddya say?"

Mickey Special drains his pint and reaches for another.

[Murray the Evil Skull]

He turns to Murray.

"Hey Murray, you still do some singin,? Angus here plays drums, I got my Les Paul and amp down in the trunk of the car, wherever the car's at. All we need is a bassist. Whaddya say?"

Mickey Special drains his pint and reaches for another.

"Sounds great, Mortal! I could go with some AC/DC or Brownsville Station right about now. I'll see about getting a bassist, mortal.", Murray said with an evil smile. Pausing, he turned to a staffer coming out of the bathroom and said,

"HEY YOU, Fleshbag!"

"Meeeeeee?????", the staffer said hesitantly.

"Yes, you! My freinds and I need a good Bass player. Go get us one!", the evil one ordered.

"But I...???"

"Move Mortal! or I'll put an EVIL curse on you!", said Murray.

The staffer ran from the bar as if being chased by the hounds of hell. Murray sighed and said,

"Its so hard to find good help these days."

[Ghost of Sid Vicious]

The ghost of Sid Vicious stumbles into the bar.

"Oi, I hear yer lookin' fer a bleedin' bass player?"

[Murray the Evil Skull]

The ghost of Sid Vicious stumbles into the bar.

"Oi, I hear yer lookin' fer a bleedin' bass player?"

"Yes indeed! Got your bass handy, Sid?"

[Ghost of Sid Vicious]

The ghost of Sid Vicious stumbles into the bar.

"Oi, I hear yer lookin' fer a bleedin' bass player?"

"Yes indeed! Got your bass handy, Sid?"

A blood-splattered Fender Precision Bass appears in Sid's ghostly hands. Nearby, a battered amplifier of unknown manufacture materializes. Sid begins playing the bass lines of something that might or might not be "Roadrunner" by the Modern Lovers. Or possibly Johnny B. Goode. It quickly becomes apparent that Sid's playing "style" consists of high volume and stumbling around a lot.

[77 Camaro]

"OH HELL YEAH!!!"

Mickey Special runs out of the bar to locate his car and fetch his Les Paul and amp. Meanwhile, Angus the Monkey screeches and runs into a storage room. Moments later he begins dragging pieces of a small drum kit (obviously designed for children, or a monkey) into the bar and assembling them. Having assembled the drum kit, the monkey begins bashing on the skins and joins in with Sid. After a minute or so, the racket begins to sound like something resembling music. Slowly, painfully, the noise segues from "Johnny B. Goode" into a fairly passable version of "Smokin' in the Boy's Room" by Brownsville Station.

A few minutes later, Mickey Special appears with his black Les Paul and a Marshall amp. He places a microphone in front of Murray, plugs in the amp, plugs in the guitar, fishes around in his pocket for a pick, and joins in. The windows of the bar begin vibrating and rattling on their hinges.

[Murray the Evil Skull]

Murray starts off by speaking into the mike...

"How you doing out there? You ever seem to have one of those days, when it seems like everybody's getting on your case, from your teacher all the way down to your best girlfriend? Well, you know, I used to have 'em just about all the time. But I found a way to get out of it. Let me tell you about it!"

After a very short pause, Angus leads in with a brief drum intro, and Murray starts to sing.

Sitting in the classroom
"Thinking it's a drag
Listening to the teacher
Well, just ain't my bag
Noon bells ring
You know that's my cue
I'm gonna meet the boys
On floor number two

Smoking in the boy's room
Smoking in the boy's room
Now, teacher don't you fill me
Up with your rules
Everybody knows that
Smoking ain't allowed in school....."

[Koumpounophobia]

Richard Makner walked in slowly, and he went totally pale when he saw what consisted of a band here. He walked by slowly to Herbert Norris, the former VP of Koumpounophobia. The middle-aged fellow was not an official anymore, but he was still here drinking Stitcher's Delight whiskey.

The two sat quietly, looking around the room.

[Murray the Evil Skull]

"Smokin' in the boys' room
Oh, smokin' in the boys' room
Now, teacher, I am fully aware of the rules
But everybody knows that smokin' ain't allowed in school!"

The band finished up the first song and began to segue into another. The tempo picked up a bit, kinda like fast bluesy rock, and soon Murray began to sing again.

"Running my rig around ninety-five,
Rockin' and rollin' in overdrive
My heart's beating like a jackhammer,
It's the midnight ride for the gear jammer

Nine long days through twenty-three states,
I gotta see my baby soon you know I just can't wait
The police catch me I'll end up in the slammer,
'Cause the law don't want no gear jammer

Running my rig in a mighty high gear,
I don't care where I go just long as it ain't here
Something gets in my way you know I'm gonna ram it,
Nobody fools around with this gear jammer

Running my rig about ninety-five,
I'm a-rockin' and a-rollin' in overdrive
My heart's beating like a jackhammer,
Don't you get in the way of this gear jammer!"

[Koumpounophobia]

"Smokin' in the boys' room
Oh, smokin' in the boys' room
Now, teacher, I am fully aware of the rules
But everybody knows that smokin' ain't allowed in school!"

The band finished up the first song and began to segue into another. The tempo picked up a bit, kinda like fast bluesy rock, and soon Murray began to sing again.

"Running my rig around ninety-five,
Rockin' and rollin' in overdrive
My heart's beating like a jackhammer,
It's the midnight ride for the gear jammer

Nine long days through twenty-three states,
I gotta see my baby soon you know I just can't wait
The police catch me I'll end up in the slammer,
'Cause the law don't want no gear jammer

Running my rig in a mighty high gear,
I don't care where I go just long as it ain't here
Something gets in my way you know I'm gonna ram it,
Nobody fools around with this gear jammer

Running my rig about ninety-five,
I'm a-rockin' and a-rollin' in overdrive
My heart's beating like a jackhammer,
Don't you get in the way of this gear jammer!"

Richard applauded a bit, but Herbert stopped him.
"That evillest skull will haunt the hell out of you if you interrupt his song," remarked the former VP nonchalantly.

[Frickin Death Star]

The seven foot, armor clad, ventilating, dark, ominous, caped, deeply voiced, light saber wielding 'ambassador' walks into the Strangers' Bar. He wasn't really called away from the fight in the GA chamber by "urgent business on the frickin' Death Star". In truth he just didn't have the heart to kill the hapless McDevitt.

He takes a seat at a small table and begins listening to the band. "A band made up of a ghost, a monkey, an evil skull and a criminally insane WA liaison. That's something I can relate to." he thinks to himself.

He begins tapping his foot to the music.

[Stash Kroh]

Capt. McDevitt was carried into the Bar by two unfortunate gnomes,

Upon seeing the seven foot, armor clad, ventilating, dark, ominous, caped, deeply voiced, lightsaber wielding 'ambassador'
he quickly waved at the gnomes.

They didn't understand his command so he whispered under his breath, "retreat... retreat!"

The gnomes sighed and backed out of the doorway with the limbless Captain still on their shoulders.

One patron heard McDevitt's words outside of the door, "Isn't there a drinking hole in this sodding place that isn't being used by someone who is trying to kill me !?"

[Koumpounophobia]

Buscemi smiled at the door as a joke came to mind, but then he slammed his head into a well-placed structural beam and promptly forgot what he wanted to say.

[Unibot]

Buscemi smiled at the door as a joke came to mind, but then he slammed his head into a well-placed structural beam and promptly forgot what he wanted to say.

Steve Buscemi, Head of Public Relations.

[Koumpounophobia]

Buscemi smiled at the door as a joke came to mind, but then he slammed his head into a well-placed structural beam and promptly forgot what he wanted to say.

Steve Buscemi, Head of Public Relations.

(ooc) Yeah... while watching Big Fish, a friend of mine remarked that Steve Buscemi is like a Hollywood STD. His awkward teeth and screwy acting strikes down upon every director and studio at least once. Thus, I felt this sickening need to feature such a figure here.

Totally worth it

[The Gnomish Warbands]

A rather punatious looking gnome stomps into the bar. He is wearing studded leather armor, and a steel helm. A largish hammer is strapped to his back. A rather ferocious looking ferret is riding on his shoulder, and the gnome is puffing on a rather vile smelling stogie. He struggles mightily with a barstool, but eventually is able to climb up it and sit at the bar.

"I'd like a Guiness, barkeep....and some pretzels.", the gnome says as he casts a pugnatious glare at the bar patrons.

[Koumpounophobia]

A rather punatious looking gnome stomps into the bar. He is wearing studded leather armor, and a steel helm. A largish hammer is strapped to his back. A rather ferocious looking ferret is riding on his shoulder, and the gnome is puffing on a rather vile smelling stogie. He struggles mightily with a barstool, but eventually is able to climb up it and sit at the bar.

"I'd like a Guiness, barkeep....and some pretzels.", the gnome says as he casts a pugnatious glare at the bar patrons.

Buscemi wiggled his fingers in greeting.

[The Gnomish Warbands]

A rather punatious looking gnome stomps into the bar. He is wearing studded leather armor, and a steel helm. A largish hammer is strapped to his back. A rather ferocious looking ferret is riding on his shoulder, and the gnome is puffing on a rather vile smelling stogie. He struggles mightily with a barstool, but eventually is able to climb up it and sit at the bar.

"I'd like a Guiness, barkeep....and some pretzels.", the gnome says as he casts a pugnatious glare at the bar patrons.

Buscemi wiggled his fingers in greeting.

Thain Kornweasel's War Ferret(who answers to the name of Fenris), noticed the movement, and suddenly his highly trained and natural preditory instincts took over. Snarling, Fenris joyfully leaped off of Thain Kornweasel's shoulder, and like a furry buzzsaw, made his way over to Buscemi. Quickly, the ferocious beastie shot up Buscemi's pantleg to cause mighty havok to the poor man's unmentionable bits.

[Koumpounophobia]

A rather punatious looking gnome stomps into the bar. He is wearing studded leather armor, and a steel helm. A largish hammer is strapped to his back. A rather ferocious looking ferret is riding on his shoulder, and the gnome is puffing on a rather vile smelling stogie. He struggles mightily with a barstool, but eventually is able to climb up it and sit at the bar.

"I'd like a Guiness, barkeep....and some pretzels.", the gnome says as he casts a pugnatious glare at the bar patrons.

Buscemi wiggled his fingers in greeting.

Thain Kornweasel's War Ferret(who answers to the name of Fenris), noticed the movement, and suddenly his highly trained and natural preditory instincts took over. Snarling, Fenris joyfully leaped off of Thain Kornweasel's shoulder, and like a furry buzzsaw, made his way over to Buscemi. Quickly, the ferocious beastie shot up Buscemi's pantleg to cause mighty havok to the poor man's unmentionable bits.

Buscemi giggled as his ding-dong was mercilessly mutilated. What most did not know was that Buscemi was a masochist.
He quietly lit a cigarette as the small mammal maimed him horribly.

[The Palentine]

The good but unwholesome Senator was watching the whole unpleasent situation unfold, and said in an amazed voice to Velma,
"By Damn! It looks like Sir Albert might finally get some competition in Trouser Ferreting."

[Koumpounophobia]

Buscemi bowed low before happily ordering a pina colada.