The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Unibot II]

"Or they can do the polite thing and go puke in the restroom."

"OIf you have observed some measureable quanitity of politeness in these hallowed halls, I'm sure many would be surprised to hear abput it," Rodrigez slurred, just a bit past her limit for the day.

Eduard jumped on the bartable, and slide down it, smacking drinks and making nut-bowls flying through the air, until he stopped at Rodrigez's general position. His super-sense had detected a slur on a female across the room, and now he took this opportunity to re-observe his environment. Cleveage, check. Intoxicated, check. Free thinking, check. Time to move in? Check. Eduard ticked off on his mental algorithm of sex engagements. "'reetings, miss? How you doing?" Eduard asked calmly, looking down at Kelly.

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

Eduard jumped on the bartable, and slide down it, smacking drinks and making nut-bowls flying through the air, until he stopped at Rodrigez's general position. His super-sense had detected a slur on a female across the room, and now he took this opportunity to re-observe his environment. Cleveage, check. Intoxicated, check. Free thinking, check. Time to move in? Check. Eduard ticked off on his mental algorithm of sex engagements. "'reetings, miss? How you doing?" Eduard asked calmly, looking down at Kelly.

"I think I've jus had a lil' to much to drink," says Rodriguez, smiling vaguely at Eduard, "Cuz you look all handsome all of a sudd-hic- sudden."

[Ardchoille]

Momentarily out of charity with the finagling, fornicating functionaries of the General Assembly, Neville wandered out to the courtyard to commune with nature and water the hanging baskets of geraniums. Automatically he thwarted an attempt by Petunia, the Findhornian goat, to knock him over, and gazed musingly into the kitchen, where the brave little mop bucket was settling into its new home.

Later, looking back, he wondered if he could have done anything. He was sure it hadn't moved. Really he was.

The coming-together of the brave little mop bucket with Dazza, the Australian-fusion chef, and the creation he was carrying, a croquembouche pyramid filled with zabaione cream and topped with chocolate ganache, had surely been fated from the dawning of time. It had a sort of irresistible, immemorial, even ceremonial aspect, with the tumbling and the spreading and the cream and the chocolate and the chef's white uniform all pre-ordained by some slow-motion slapstick deity, right down to the final landing of the last profiterole on the chef's hat and its slow descent to his nose.

Neville watched in reverent silence. Few such transcendental moments entered the average workaday life of the BarLord.

[Jankenjin]

A 7 Foot tall sapient penis walks in to the Strangers' Bar. He takes a seat on a barstool and surveys the selection of bourbons. "Hmmm, should I get some straight liquor, or a cocktail?" he thinks to himself.

Barkeep, I think I'll have a glass of Fighting Cock, neat.

He swivels around and surveys the occupants of the bar. He wonders why all of them are staring at him.

The stout red furfeathered member of the Jankenjin trio enjoying their third (fourth?) round of Baghum Blue, stared at the...whatever it was...for a few moments before blurting out, "What the heck is that?"

The tall black one sitting next to her craned her neck over to get a look, and after a puzzled glance, remarked with a smile, "Well, ogu, if I recall that human anatomy textbook I glanced over correctly, that's a rather oversized model of the human reproduction organs." Glancing at it again, she added, "In ogawa mode, apparently."

The red one looked around the bar near the apparition, and declared, "So where's its megawa partner? Looks like it's on its own here."

"It probably is," the black one replied. "Humans don't need a partner to go ogawa-megawa, you know--they're sort of stuck one way or another."

"Oh the poor thing," the smaller, blonde one replied. "That can't be healthy for it."

[Ethel mermania]

BBBRRAAAPPPPP ,,, “excuse me”, says the first drone

“You know we have been sitting on this bar s tool for 11 days ? “ says the second.
“ The scotch still works”, says Ambassador Detroit
“11 days . . I gotta take a dump”, says #1 as he gets up scratching his.

“Don’t forget the bucket, its empty” is called out

“Oh Neville, my good man” .

[Unibot II]

Eduard jumped on the bartable, and slide down it, smacking drinks and making nut-bowls flying through the air, until he stopped at Rodrigez's general position. His super-sense had detected a slur on a female across the room, and now he took this opportunity to re-observe his environment. Cleveage, check. Intoxicated, check. Free thinking, check. Time to move in? Check. Eduard ticked off on his mental algorithm of sex engagements. "'reetings, miss? How you doing?" Eduard asked calmly, looking down at Kelly.

"I think I've jus had a lil' to much to drink," says Rodriguez, smiling vaguely at Eduard, "Cuz you look all handsome all of a sudd-hic- sudden."

Eduard snickered, "Nah, I think you just had your eyes closed."

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

Eduard snickered, "Nah, I think you just had your eyes closed."

"That's a dustinct poshability," says Rodriguez, trying to find her drink again but instead locating a pair of salt and pepper shakers.

[Imperial Yamea]

Feeling slightly bewilders and slightly tispy, Sarah jumped up as a gigantic chrash from outside. "WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHY." only calming once she was sure she wasent being shot at she turned to the bar and waved for a nother round of drinks. Watching Eduard out of the corner of her eye and wondering if she could get you, go over and punch him in the face. *(To herself) Punching people does not befit a lady, "but i want to" "No you shouldnt" "But i want to" "No not at all, what will all these other people think." "well why dont we ask them" "Okay do that"* "Hey you lot of drunkards. can i go and punch Eduard." Standing up slightly, Sarah vocalises accross the bar. all the while giving Eduard evil stares.

[The Jagermonster Corps]

Suddenly the door of the bar burst open and a troop of 4 Jagermonsters burst inside. They were tall, beastial looking men wearing spiffy uniforms, with Palentine insignia and rather elaborate hats(the most impotant fashion accessory of a Jagerkin was his hat.). While three of the jagers found a booth, the fourth walked up to the bar and gave a fangy smile to Jimmy and said,

"Excuse me barkeep. Ve vould like some Schnappes, und keep dem comink. Da Jagerkin Corps are on leave!"

Watching Eduard out of the corner of her eye and wondering if she could get you, go over and punch him in the face. *(To herself) Punching people does not befit a lady, "but i want to" "No you shouldnt" "But i want to" "No not at all, what will all these other people think." "well why dont we ask them" "Okay do that"* "Hey you lot of drunkards. can i go and punch Eduard." Standing up slightly, Sarah vocalises accross the bar. all the while giving Eduard evil stares.

Duchess Sarah's querry caught the Jagermonster's attention as he was carrying the schnappes to the booth. Apart from a rousing game of Pie in the Face(TM), there's nothing a Jagerkin likes more than random and sensless violence. As he caught a gander at the Duchess he said,

"WOOOO! Dots my keend uf voman! Hy like dem vit fire und spirit! Go for it sveethot!"

[Unibot II]

Eduard snickered, "Nah, I think you just had your eyes closed."

"That's a dustinct poshability," says Rodriguez, trying to find her drink again but instead locating a pair of salt and pepper shakers.

Eduard switches the salt and pepper shaker for shots of tequila and leaves the table briefly, "Excuse me, I'll be a back in a sec".

Heir walked over to Sarah, "Ms., if you like to assault me, please do it quickly."

[Ethel mermania]

Feeling slightly bewilders and slightly tispy, Sarah jumped up as a gigantic chrash from outside. "WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHY." only calming once she was sure she wasent being shot at she turned to the bar and waved for a nother round of drinks. Watching Eduard out of the corner of her eye and wondering if she could get you, go over and punch him in the face. *(To herself) Punching people does not befit a lady, "but i want to" "No you shouldnt" "But i want to" "No not at all, what will all these other people think." "well why dont we ask them" "Okay do that"* "Hey you lot of drunkards. can i go and punch Eduard." Standing up slightly, Sarah vocalises accross the bar. all the while giving Eduard evil stares.

Ambassador Detroit, hears the making of a fight, and has only one reaction to it, it is a strong visceral reaction.

He wants to make a bet.


"We got 50 yids the duchess never lays a hand on him."

[Jankenjin]

The stout, red, feathered roo-like creature stared it its empty glass of Baghum Blue, and gestured to its tall, black companion. "Your turn to get the next round, isn't it meki?"

The creature nodded, and started hopping toward the bar, when it catches Sarah's rather odd request.

"We got 50 yids the duchess never lays a hand on him."

The creature looks over Sarah, then turns to the Ambassador and says, "You sure about that? She looks pretty capable. I don't know how much 50 yids are worth, but if they're less than the price of our next round, you're on."

[Imperial Yamea]

"That's a dustinct poshability," says Rodriguez, trying to find her drink again but instead locating a pair of salt and pepper shakers.

Eduard switches the salt and pepper shaker for shots of tequila and leaves the table briefly, "Excuse me, I'll be a back in a sec".

Heir walked over to Sarah, "Ms., if you like to assault me, please do it quickly."

Waving her finger in his face like a mother admonishing her child she swings a swift, but strong blow with her unoccupied hand straight into Eduard jaw... then she slides out of her chair and makes goes to go for him further, only stopping when she is restrained by her companions. Taking a drink from another of her party she burst into enthusiastic but out of key song about whales and turtles. However she never seems to get past the first chorus which goes:

"Turtles are not whales..... glub glub glub ..... Whales are not turtles.... glub glub glub .... I am not either because i am ME AAAA WEEEEE AAA WWWWEEEE AAAWWWWEEEEE"

[Ethel mermania]

The stout, red, feathered roo-like creature stared it its empty glass of Baghum Blue, and gestured to its tall, black companion. "Your turn to get the next round, isn't it meki?"

The creature nodded, and started hopping toward the bar, when it catches Sarah's rather odd request.

"We got 50 yids the duchess never lays a hand on him."

The creature looks over Sarah, then turns to the Ambassador and says, "You sure about that? She looks pretty capable. I don't know how much 50 yids are worth, but if they're less than the price of our next round, you're on."

Ambassador Detroit, goes into a pocket of his sharkskin suit and pulls out an alligator wallet, and slowly extracts a 50 yid note with Fearless leaders picture of it




And places it in front of the Red Feathered Creature.

“ Here you go”, says Amassador Detriot, “It is worth a little more than a round, but I did not get to tell you that before Duchess Sarah threw that overhand right. Quite frankly I am surprised. While always drunk, Mr. Heir usually manages to stagger out of the way before he really gets hurt. His more injuries seem to be more of the . . . self inflicted variety”.

Ambassador Detriot takes out his hankcercheif from his suit pocket, wipes his brow carefully even though he is not sweating, and continues.

“Tell ya what, Double or nothing That blow does not prevent Mr. Heir from continuing to hit on her”

[Ardchoille]

*Neville, ever cautious, puts the protective shutters over the giant mirrors behind the bar*

*Violet hauls out the betting book -- no way is anyone going to welch on a bet while she's around*

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

"That's a dustinct poshability," says Rodriguez, trying to find her drink again but instead locating a pair of salt and pepper shakers.

Eduard switches the salt and pepper shaker for shots of tequila and leaves the table briefly, "Excuse me, I'll be a back in a sec".

Kelly looked at the salt and pepper shakers. They didn't look like any shakers she was familiar with. In fact, they looked a lot like shots of tequila. Indeed, they looked so much like shots of tequila that she lifted one, a bit wobbly, to her nose, and smelled it. It certainly didn't smell like salt, or pepper. She took a tiny, exploratory sip. It certainly didn't taste like salt or pepper. She shrugged, and downed both shots as fast as her significantly-impaired motor skills permitted. And looked around for the fellow who'd just done what seemed like a disappeareing act.

[Unibot II]

Eduard switches the salt and pepper shaker for shots of tequila and leaves the table briefly, "Excuse me, I'll be a back in a sec".

Kelly looked at the salt and pepper shakers. They didn't look like any shakers she was familiar with. In fact, they looked a lot like shots of tequila. Indeed, they looked so much like shots of tequila that she lifted one, a bit wobbly, to her nose, and smelled it. It certainly didn't smell like salt, or pepper. She took a tiny, exploratory sip. It certainly didn't taste like salt or pepper. She shrugged, and downed both shots as fast as her significantly-impaired motor skills permitted. And looked around for the fellow who'd just done what seemed like a disappeareing act.

Eduard sat back down beside Kelly and finished off a shot with her, "I think she finished off herself, that'll show her never to.. eh... get thrown out of my seat by me and be hostile about it."

Heir drained another shot and took a breather, "say.. you look like you could use some food, I hear the chef here makes a tasty set of wings."

Eduard gestured the chef to make some wings, and he obliged.

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

Eduard sat back down beside Kelly and finished off a shot with her, "I think she finished off herself, that'll show her never to.. eh... get thrown out of my seat by me and be hostile about it."

Heir drained another shot and took a breather, "say.. you look like you could use some food, I hear the chef here makes a tasty set of wings."

Eduard gestured the chef to make some wings, and he obliged.

The mysterious disappearing man was back. She grinned at him again. He was saying something, something that it was terribly hard to focus upon. Something about food.

She nodded, still grinning. Food sounded like a good idea. She said so, but the words didn't quite come out right.

"Shounds gud," she mumbled. She had an overpowering feeling that something wasn't quite right with the world, but ignored it in favor of wings.

[Unibot II]

Eduard starred at her for a few second, jesus, he had gotten this woman completely trashed, she could barely string together a few syllables together, let alone have a conversation. Too bad, he thought, it would no longer be okay for him to sleep with her... he considered this supposition some more.... no.. it would be wrong... welll.. maybe just a littl-- no, it's wrong he said!

Eduard smiled as Violet set a basket of wings down between Eduard and Kelly, Eduard grabbed the first wing and chewed on it, nodding. "Hhmm.. good stuff."

"I think I'm going to have another rusty nail to chase these down." Eduard said, gesturing for another glass of scotch.

[Mesogirian WA Mission]

Eduard starred at her for a few second, jesus, he had gotten this woman completely trashed, she could barely string together a few syllables together, let alone have a conversation. Too bad, he thought, it would no longer be okay for him to sleep with her... he considered this supposition some more.... no.. it would be wrong... welll.. maybe just a littl-- no, it's wrong he said!

Eduard smiled as Violet set a basket of wings down between Eduard and Kelly, Eduard grabbed the first wing and chewed on it, nodding. "Hhmm.. good stuff."

"I think I'm going to have another rusty nail to chase these down." Eduard said, gesturing for another glass of scotch.

"Yah, gud stuff," Kelly managed, devouring a wing rather messily. She made it through three more in this fashion before becoming aware of the saucy mess on her face produced by over-enthusiastic eating. She fought to hold in a giggle. A lot of messy college memories were bubbling up in her head.

"Ya know," she said, focusing hard past the memories and alcohol to use a napkin as deftly as possible, "I can't say -hic- I've evar scheen someone have scotch with wings."

[Jankenjin]

The stout, red, feathered roo-like creature stared it its empty glass of Baghum Blue, and gestured to its tall, black companion. "Your turn to get the next round, isn't it meki?"

The creature nodded, and started hopping toward the bar, when it catches Sarah's rather odd request.


The creature looks over Sarah, then turns to the Ambassador and says, "You sure about that? She looks pretty capable. I don't know how much 50 yids are worth, but if they're less than the price of our next round, you're on."

Ambassador Detroit, goes into a pocket of his sharkskin suit and pulls out an alligator wallet, and slowly extracts a 50 yid note with Fearless leaders picture of it




And places it in front of the Red Feathered Creature.

“ Here you go”, says Amassador Detriot, “It is worth a little more than a round, but I did not get to tell you that before Duchess Sarah threw that overhand right. Quite frankly I am surprised. While always drunk, Mr. Heir usually manages to stagger out of the way before he really gets hurt. His more injuries seem to be more of the . . . self inflicted variety”.

Ambassador Detriot takes out his hankcercheif from his suit pocket, wipes his brow carefully even though he is not sweating, and continues.

“Tell ya what, Double or nothing That blow does not prevent Mr. Heir from continuing to hit on her”

The black feathered creature looked at Ambassador Detroit and decided perhaps the human had had too much alcohol and it'd be unfair to gamble with him in this condition. That and Eduard's behavior was starting to get more random than the laws of chance normally permitted, making an educated bet impossible. Still it would be impolite to turn down the man's offer. "Very well. I figure he's not hitting the floor under his own power."

[The Ainocran Embassy]

Scotch, neat.

Whose died in here today?

[The Jagermonster Corps]

Scotch, neat.

Whose died in here today?

The Jagermonster known as Sergant Hans gave a fangy smile and said,
"Nobody yet sveethot! bot its shtill early."

[The Ainocran Embassy]

*snickers* it is indeed

[Embolalia]

Finally, something worthwhile for this assembly. A right to liquor! A brilliant, novel idea, if I may say. Now someone get me a drink! It's my right, after all.