The World Assembly Strangers' Bar

[Lowell Leber]

"Not exactly, though I would imagine it to be a problem...Perhaps you misunderstand? A philosophical discussion to me is less academic, and perhaps more enjoyable banter..."

[Grays Harbor]

Lord Eugene sat at his ususal table with his aid Murray¹ nursing a Scotch. Turning to his trusted assistant, "Ei yn taflu i fyny ar p'un a wyf yn dod yn gyntaf alcoholig neu ladd y person nesaf sy'n cyflwyno cynnig erthyliad." ²

Murray looked thoughtful for a moment, then replied, "Er na fyddwn yn argymell un ai, gellid yr olaf yn well ar gyfer eich iechyd yn gyffredinol, ac yn sicr yn darparu lefel o adloniant ar gyfer ein cynghreiriaid yma yn y Gymanfa Gyffredinol." ³

Both then just took another drink and looked at the corner fishtank some more.

2 - Its a toss up on whether I become an alchoholic first or kill the next person who submits an abortion proposal.
3 -While I wouldn't recommend either, the latter could be better for your overall health, and certainly would provide a level of amusement for our allies here in the General Assembly.

1 - not to be confused with the similarly named ambassador, Murray the Evil Skull

[Johz]

"Scotch and water without the scotch. And with a couple of aspirin, please."
The man's frame shuddered as he let out a long sigh.
"It's good to be here. How's this place treating you and your delegation, Mr...?"

“Aspirin is tough on the stomach, that is why we drink scotch, it is for medicinal purposes”

the drone puts back back the hood of his cape, holds up the glass towards his aspirin taking companion, and takes a drink.

“how are they treating us, , , well the office is good, we have a decent parking space, . .. the keys to the ambassadors bathroom are a real perk, its nice in there, the tissue is soft and the gold plated seats warmers are first rate, and with a couple of 12 volt batteries and a few wires, you can play some awesome pranks with it.

The scotch is first rate, service can be a little slow at times. The penguins every once in a while put on a decent sushi bar, usually when they are drunk,

Those are pretty much the highlights of the place. . .

Aspirin clears the head. Well, as much as it can. It's like alcohol to me, I take it to forget... The ambassadorial bathrooms are a treat, aren't they? I'm waiting for a sushi bar, I tend to miss them when I have to report back home. And you know what's best? The fact that there's no Mrs Figgis."

[Unibotian WA Mission]

"Not exactly, though I would imagine it to be a problem...Perhaps you misunderstand? A philisophical discussion to me is less academic, and perhaps more enjoyable banter..."

Eduard squints, he had spent fifteen years of his life at a University, life was academia. "Right. Well.. then one has to question if banter is philosophy at all? Is it a search for knowledge for knowledge's sake or enjoyment's sake? Is philosophy, intrinsic, instrumental or both?"

Eduard stopped and sipped his scotch, "Eh, fuck that. Let's say, if I take this pile of nuts.." Eduard grabbed a bowl of bar nuts and dragged it closer to the couple, "... and individually remove some nuts. Is it still a heap when only one nut remains? If not, when did it change from a heap to a non-heap?"

[Lowell Leber]

"Eduard, I get what you are saying...but shouldn't the search for knowledge be enjoyable. I mean a heap of nuts is simple if you do not overthink it. Look, in layman's terms it is a heap of nuts until there are no more than two in which case it is a couple of nuts...as do we appear to be to anyone that is hearing the present tract of our conversation. Now if you want to impress me, perhaps political philosophy is what we should discuss?" Natalie finished her Manhatten and looked at Jimmie to produce her another one...

[Johz]

"Not exactly, though I would imagine it to be a problem...Perhaps you misunderstand? A philisophical discussion to me is less academic, and perhaps more enjoyable banter..."

Eduard squints, he had spent fifteen years of his life at a University, life was academia. "Right. Well.. then one has to question if banter is philosophy at all? Is it a search for knowledge for knowledge's sake or enjoyment's sake? Is philosophy, intrinsic, instrumental or both?"

Eduard stopped and sipped his scotch, "Eh, fuck that. Let's say, if I take this pile of nuts.." Eduard grabbed a bowl of bar nuts and dragged it closer to the couple, "... and individually remove some nuts. Is it still a heap when only one nut remains? If not, when did it change from a heap to a non-heap?"

Mr Newman turned round at the noise of the bar nut pot being emptied, slightly irritated by the noise, which was getting at his semi-permanent headache. Seeing that Eduard was doing little more with them than showing off his apparent interlectual prowess, he leaned over and scooped a large portion of the nuts out of the little heap on the table.
"That's when it stops being a pile. You don't mind, I hope?" He asked, turning back to his own table before Eduard could answer.
"Now these are my kind of snacks," he told the now de-hooded drone. "Want some?"

[Unibotian WA Mission]

"Eduard, I get what you are saying...but shouldn't the search for knowledge be enjoyable. I mean a heap of nuts is simple if you do not overthink it. Look, in layman's terms it is a heap of nuts until there are no more than two in which case it is a couple of nuts...as do we appear to be to anyone that is hearing the present tract of our conversation. Now if you want to impress me, perhaps political philosophy is what we should discuss?" Natalie finished her Manhatten and looked at Jimmie to produce her another one...

Eduard boyishly grinned, "so if you add a nut to a pair of nuts, it's.. a heap of nuts? I thought it was called a triumvirate!? You see .. we were talking about political philosophy all along. Perhaps you'd like to start off the topic, my dear."

Eduard turned to Mr Newman, and smiled, "No.. no.. please help yourself."

[Retired WerePenguins]

Eduard boyishly grinned, "so if you add a nut to a pair of nuts, it's.. a heap of nuts? I thought it was called a triumvirate!? You see .. we were talking about political philosophy all along. Perhaps you'd like to start off the topic, my dear."

Bouncing Bubbly Blonde turned to Edward. "As that great cousin of that famous maker of beer once said, 'In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.' Based on that argument, I do believe he is right."

[Embolalia]

"You want political philosophy..." Ambassador LLwyd looks up from his drink, in a dark corner the bar. "People..." He stares at nothing for a second, collecting his thoughts. The man sitting next to him stares at him, trying to figure out when he came in. "People..." he says again. "Suck. Nah, nah, nah." He smiles and shakes his head. He's making it clear he holds liquor like a sieve. "What I mean is... People... People are the worst part of democracy, you know? One minute, they all love you, right. Oh, you're so amazing, doing such good in the world. Then, just... at random, they're all like... You're destroying everything. You suck. But they... They don't even know what they're talking about. It doesn't even matter what you actually do, they just take out whatever problems they have, whatever, personal problems, on the people they elect. Then the git they elect throws you out of office, so they can put in some inexperienced git to look like they care about the Equality Initiative. Honestly, I think they... Wait..." He stares at the Unibotian. "Eduard, I didn't know you had a twin?" He gets the sentence out, and immediately falls to the floor, unconscious.

[Ethel mermania]

Eduard squints, he had spent fifteen years of his life at a University, life was academia. "Right. Well.. then one has to question if banter is philosophy at all? Is it a search for knowledge for knowledge's sake or enjoyment's sake? Is philosophy, intrinsic, instrumental or both?"

Eduard stopped and sipped his scotch, "Eh, fuck that. Let's say, if I take this pile of nuts.." Eduard grabbed a bowl of bar nuts and dragged it closer to the couple, "... and individually remove some nuts. Is it still a heap when only one nut remains? If not, when did it change from a heap to a non-heap?"

Mr Newman turned round at the noise of the bar nut pot being emptied, slightly irritated by the noise, which was getting at his semi-permanent headache. Seeing that Eduard was doing little more with them than showing off his apparent interlectual prowess, he leaned over and scooped a large portion of the nuts out of the little heap on the table.
"That's when it stops being a pile. You don't mind, I hope?" He asked, turning back to his own table before Eduard could answer.
"Now these are my kind of snacks," he told the now de-hooded drone. "Want some?"

“Nuts? Yes, you will find lots of them here,” the drone says as he reaches for the heap.

“But you can’t eat them all. We know this for a fact, one of our delegation tried.

They arrested him after he ate 3 junior delegates and the thigh of a secretary. Unfortunately for him, he did not get enough roughage and he clogged the admin’s toilet. They got him on a DNA match between ummm. The residue and the rest of the thigh owner.”

[Unibot II]

Eduard swung back his second scotch and wiped the excess off his mouth. He frowned at Mr. Newman's story, it was absolutely unromantic, he looked at Natalie to see how she'd react at his joke. Eduard pretended to ignore Ambassador LLwyd entirely.

"I don't know him" he insisted.

[Imperial Yamea]

Eduard swung back his second scotch and wiped the excess off his mouth. He frowned at Mr. Newman's story, it was absolutely unromantic, he looked at Natalie to see how she'd react at his joke. Eduard pretended to ignore Ambassador LLwyd entirely.

"I don't know him" he insisted.

Anticipating her moment, Duchess Sarah pulls herself up from the ground where she was uncerimoniously kicked to, punches Eduard in the Balls and spits in his face. "IF YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON ME AGAIN I WILL HAVE YOU KILLED," then turning she stalks out to her waiting vehicle.

[Unibot II]

Eduard swung back his second scotch and wiped the excess off his mouth. He frowned at Mr. Newman's story, it was absolutely unromantic, he looked at Natalie to see how she'd react at his joke. Eduard pretended to ignore Ambassador LLwyd entirely.

"I don't know him" he insisted.

Anticipating her moment, Duchess Sarah pulls herself up from the ground where she was uncerimoniously kicked to, punches Eduard in the Balls and spits in his face. "IF YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON ME AGAIN I WILL HAVE YOU KILLED," then turning she stalks out to her waiting vehicle.

Eduard wipes the spit off his face, and crawls back into his seat while muttering something rude about Yameans.

[Linux and the X]

punches Eduard in the Balls

Quirk objection! shouts Fred.

[Johz]

Anticipating her moment, Duchess Sarah pulls herself up from the ground where she was uncerimoniously kicked to, punches Eduard in the Balls and spits in his face. "IF YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON ME AGAIN I WILL HAVE YOU KILLED," then turning she stalks out to her waiting vehicle.

Eduard wipes the spit off his face, and crawls back into his seat while muttering something rude about Yameans.

Watching the event with no small grin on his face, Mr Newman turned back to his nameless drinking companion.
"You know, the one thing that could possibly beat that performance would be if his mother walked in now. In fact..."
He got up and walked briskly over to a the elderly female head of a minor delegation that he had some links to. Money and low whispers we exchanged, and finally, with a last furtive look at Eduard, Mr Newman sat down. Nodding at the old woman, he settled down to watch the fun.

(ooc: And that serves you right! It wasn't my unromantic story, it was whichever of Ethel Mermania's nameless drones I'm talking to now. I'll have you know Mr Newman is quite a romantic. When he's not lying in bed with a headache.)

[Unibot II]

"You know, the one thing that could possibly beat that performance would be if his mother walked in now. In fact..."

Eduard scowled, "I'm an orphan. You moron."

Eduard looks over at the Old Women and screams, "Ah Holy Mother of God! It's alive!"

Eduard calms down, "I.. mean.. Sister Mary... what are you doing here!?"

[Krioval]

Anticipating her moment, Duchess Sarah pulls herself up from the ground where she was uncerimoniously kicked to, punches Eduard in the Balls and spits in his face. "IF YOU EVER LAY A HAND ON ME AGAIN I WILL HAVE YOU KILLED," then turning she stalks out to her waiting vehicle.

Henrik stifles a giggle. "Unfortunately, Excellency, you might have to join the queue. I believe that the number of individuals who want Ambassador Heir killed for various slights, real and imaginary, currently numbers, let me see, one thousand seven hundred eighty-five. Perhaps you could take a number?" He throws back the contents of a shot glass with green liquid. "It's the time travel, you see," he offers by way of explanation. "Every time someone kills him, another two seem to pop up in his place."

[Ethel mermania]

Eduard wipes the spit off his face, and crawls back into his seat while muttering something rude about Yameans.

[/spoiler]
Watching the event with no small grin on his face, Mr Newman turned back to his nameless drinking companion.
"You know, the one thing that could possibly beat that performance would be if his mother walked in now. In fact..."
He got up and walked briskly over to a the elderly female head of a minor delegation that he had some links to. Money and low whispers we exchanged, and finally, with a last furtive look at Eduard, Mr Newman sat down. Nodding at the old woman, he settled down to watch the fun.

(ooc: And that serves you right! It wasn't my unromantic story, it was whichever of Ethel Mermania's nameless drones I'm talking to now. I'll have you know Mr Newman is quite a romantic. When he's not lying in bed with a headache.)

It’s OK thanks, we appreciate the defense, folks do not think drones can be romantic, just because our leadership thinks attaching names to an foreign embassy staff leads to cults of personality, we are always marginalized and stigmatized. When we are cut, do we not bleed? We have families, we have lives outside of the WA. we are not dull boring people gosh darn it.



I will take a few more nuts though,

[Lowell Leber]

Eduard swung back his second scotch and wiped the excess off his mouth. He frowned at Mr. Newman's story, it was absolutely unromantic, he looked at Natalie to see how she'd react at his joke. Eduard pretended to ignore Ambassador LLwyd entirely.

"I don't know him" he insisted.

"Eduard, who is this man with his droid, and what nation does he represent?"

[Unibotian WA Mission]

Eduard swung back his second scotch and wiped the excess off his mouth. He frowned at Mr. Newman's story, it was absolutely unromantic, he looked at Natalie to see how she'd react at his joke. Eduard pretended to ignore Ambassador LLwyd entirely.

"I don't know him" he insisted.

"Eduard, who is this man with his droid, and what nation does he represent?"

"Ughh.. I don't know. He's um, Mr Newman of .. Jonz -- he's nobody." Eduard said, until his eye caught Newman's eyeline, Eduard gulped and corrected himself, "I mean.. he's someone, sure, just not someone who is relevant to getting under your skir-- *stares at his old Nun* I mean, relevant to this friendly chat. Yes, that."

[Linux and the X]

I believe that the number of individuals who want Ambassador Heir killed for various slights, real and imaginary, currently numbers, let me see, one thousand seven hundred eighty-five.

Eighty-seven.

[Imperial Yamea]

I believe that the number of individuals who want Ambassador Heir killed for various slights, real and imaginary, currently numbers, let me see, one thousand seven hundred eighty-five.

Eighty-seven.

Eighty-eight now

[Bears Armed]

"I seem to recall that back when Mr Heir once threatened to set fire to himself if a certain piece of legislation were to be passed my nation's previous First Voice here -- who also opposed that proposal -- said that this offer changed that situation into a 'win-win' one..."

^_^

Artorrios o SouthWoods,
Chairbear, Bears Armed Mission at the World Assembly.

[The Ainocran Embassy]

*Looking around the room with his one good eye Admiral Enta snorts*
"What's an old soldier gotta do to get some scotch around here?"

[The Creedon Republic]

A man is walking down the street when he comes to another man standing on the street corner drinking whiskey out of of a thermometer. "What are you doing?" he asks the man, to which he replies: "I'm getting intoxicated by degrees!"

I'll take a shot of The Glenlivet 12 year old whiskey.