NationStates

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Cool.

Reply what you think about this!
Should in go into the WA?
It is good enough to be Legal?
Is the writing good?

There are lots of grammatical and formatting eyesores present. But besides that, you obviously do not make any good repeal argument. Additionally,

CONVINCED That there is No evidence to the "pursuit targets" and that the Death penalty does not Target the Mentally ill (Except the Deranged that are a Threat.) and the Author of the Proposal is "Believing" These are True. Although these types of People like the Mentally ill Should never earn a death Penalty but go to a Rehab Center Instead.

the bolded section could be considered as legislating in a repeal because you endorse that the mentally ill should go to rehabilitation centers instead.

So how Do I improve this?

Dungtoper wrote:So how Do I improve this?

For one, actually fix the grammatical eyesores present in your draft. However, it's clear that you haven't read the rules and guidelines of GA resolutions to actually make a proper draft, so I would consult those resources for those not familiar with the WA.

Can you give me a link to the rules and Tell me what Grammatical Eyesore is? Thanks in advance.

Dungtoper wrote:Can you give me a link to the rules and Tell me what Grammatical Eyesore is? Thanks in advance.

I sent you this before in your locked thread but you haven't seemingly consulted it: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=159348

As for your grammatical eyesores, you seemingly capitalize every word in the middle of your sentences. All in all, it's not a well-written draft at all.

I just edited my Repeal post. Please, if there's anything still wrong, notify me.

"Apatosaurus is strongly against the Death Penalty, and believes it should be abolished in all cases. As such, we are fully opposed."

Seeing as how you like a challenge, whilst you are busy repealing the death penalty ban, I have a couple more for you to work on.

Best of luck………..

Im saying how is it now, Any changes or we good?

“Sooooo what I’m seeing here is a repeal proposition predicated on the argument of ‘Nuh-uh!’. While we’re not philosophically opposed to the death penalty, we cannot support this repeal.”

Godular wrote:“Sooooo what I’m seeing here is a repeal proposition predicated on the argument of ‘Nuh-uh!’. While we’re not philosophically opposed to the death penalty, we cannot support this repeal.”

Anyways, I wanted to Repeal it because we cant let the Criminals who did the worst of crimes just go to jail!
We need to bring justice to all who have been affected by these people!

Dungtoper wrote:

Godular wrote:“Sooooo what I’m seeing here is a repeal proposition predicated on the argument of ‘Nuh-uh!’. While we’re not philosophically opposed to the death penalty, we cannot support this repeal.”

Anyways, I wanted to Repeal it because we cant let the Criminals who did the worst of crimes just go to jail!
We need to bring justice to all who have been affected by these people!

“Ain’t no ‘need’ in your proposal. You just wanna off the crims, but to me that’s taking the easy—and myopic—way out. You think your legal system is absolutely perfect?”

Yes I do think it's perfect!

Dungtoper wrote:Im saying how is it now, Any changes or we good?

Dungtoper wrote:

Godular wrote:“Sooooo what I’m seeing here is a repeal proposition predicated on the argument of ‘Nuh-uh!’. While we’re not philosophically opposed to the death penalty, we cannot support this repeal.”

Anyways, I wanted to Repeal it because we cant let the Criminals who did the worst of crimes just go to jail!
We need to bring justice to all who have been affected by these people!

Seeing as you asked so nicely, no..... Your proposal isn't good to go, because it is shit. This is the third attempt you have shotgunned out, and not wanting to be left out, it is chock full of illegalities as well. I suggest you READ. Now as for the rush, if you want to be accused of badge hunting, then keep it up. You aren't the first to come bursting in here thinking you are just going to start repealing shit, nor will you be the last.

OOC: Welcome to the World Assembly! Unfortunately, this proposal is illegal as currently written. Your "BELIEVING" clause is basically one gigantic case of legislating in a repeal - please see the GA proposal rules (linked in my signature below) for an explanation of what that means. While you might get some sympathy for your desire to repeal this target, I warn you that it will be an uphill battle. You're probably better off lurking for a while and figuring out how this part of the game works before trying to get rid of such a popular resolution. Then maybe try again with something a bit easier. Again, welcome to the World Assembly. Good luck!

Dungtoper wrote:Yes I do think it's perfect!

“Then you are precisely as naïve as I predicted. You put somebody in the electric chair, then it comes out that you were wrong. ‘Oops, my B!’ ain’t gonna cut it, brah.”

Dungtoper wrote:Yes I do think it's perfect!

That attitude isn't going to help you at all. Everyone else has been telling you it's crap and you haven't made any case at attempting your claims, yet here you are trying to proclaim your repeal is the best resolution ever.

Sierra Lyricalia wrote:

Wayneactia wrote:Seeing as you asked so nicely, no..... Your proposal isn't good to go, because it is shit. This is the third attempt you have shotgunned out, and not wanting to be left out, it is chock full of illegalities as well. I suggest you READ. Now as for the rush, if you want to be accused of badge hunting, then keep it up. You aren't the first to come bursting in here thinking you are just going to start repealing shit, nor will you be the last.

Ya know, this could have been phrased a bit less nastily. The proposal is not legal nor particularly likely to pass, but those aren't reasons to be so spectacularly rude.

Sure it could have been, but it wouldn't have driven home the message quite as effectively. Now seeing as how this was their attitude coming in, I thought it may be best to lay all the cards on the table from the beginning and forego the game of charades.

Wayneactia wrote:

Dungtoper wrote:Im saying how is it now, Any changes or we good?

Anyways, I wanted to Repeal it because we cant let the Criminals who did the worst of crimes just go to jail!
We need to bring justice to all who have been affected by these people!

Seeing as you asked so nicely, no..... Your proposal isn't good to go, because it is shit. This is the third attempt you have shotgunned out, and not wanting to be left out, it is chock full of illegalities as well. I suggest you READ. Now as for the rush, if you want to be accused of badge hunting, then keep it up. You aren't the first to come bursting in here thinking you are just going to start repealing shit, nor will you be the last.[/quote]

Ok, gonna admit that you need to calm down a little, chill on the words.

This is now Nothing.

Well, the WA takes its proposals very seriously and I honestly don’t think it would make it, but I would vote for it!

Well, It was made Illgeal for Branding somehow, and It told me to stop spamming repeals and resolutions