[SCRAPPED] Tropical Cyclone Convention

[Molotovsk]

The World Assembly,

Noting that tropical cyclones are frequent in coastal areas, threatening any populations living nearby,

Realizing that tropical cyclones are almost unpredictable making them one of the most deadly natural disasters because their path can be unknown,

Wanting to save many lives from tropical cyclones,

Hereby;

I. Defines a tropical cyclone as a spiral storm with violent winds and heavy rain,

II. Creates the Cyclone Activity Program, an organization tasked with monitoring tropical cyclones,

III. Tasks the Cyclone Activity Program to notify member states of tropical cyclones while forcing them to have a plan which tries to save and rescue people,

IV. Gives funding from the World Assembly to pay for repairs caused by tropical cyclones,

V. Funds member nations that cannot afford equipment with tools and money for warning, combating, and tracking tropical cyclones,

VI. Requires member nations to share information about tropical cyclones to the public, including its path and strength,

[Imperium Anglorum]

V. Forces member nations to either send members of the military or police force to guard personal loot while a tropical cyclone is in an area.

Coming to a member nation near you:

PVT: Sarge, what's up with these orders?

SARGE: They say we are to guard this house over there.

PVT: But Sarge, it's in the flooded section of the city!

SARGE: What private? Look, it's dry now.

PVT: Yes, Sarge, but in a few hours it's going to be under 0 metres of water, they say the levy is going to break.

SARGE: Well whoopdee doo. We have a bona-fide civil engineer right here! Where'd you figure that? That slide rule in your pocket?

[Molotovsk]

Unplaigarized the definition.

[Molotovsk]

V. Forces member nations to either send members of the military or police force to guard personal loot while a tropical cyclone is in an area.

Coming to a member nation near you:

PVT: Sarge, what's up with these orders?

SARGE: They say we are to guard this house over there.

PVT: But Sarge, it's in the flooded section of the city!

SARGE: What private? Look, it's dry now.

PVT: Yes, Sarge, but in a few hours it's going to be under 0 metres of water, they say the levy is going to break.

SARGE: Well whoopdee doo. We have a bona-fide civil engineer right here! Where'd you figure that? That slide rule in your pocket?

The United States requires that members of the USM guard treasures during hurricanes.

[Astrobolt]

Coming to a member nation near you:

PVT: Sarge, what's up with these orders?

SARGE: They say we are to guard this house over there.

PVT: But Sarge, it's in the flooded section of the city!

SARGE: What private? Look, it's dry now.

PVT: Yes, Sarge, but in a few hours it's going to be under 0 metres of water, they say the levy is going to break.

SARGE: Well whoopdee doo. We have a bona-fide civil engineer right here! Where'd you figure that? That slide rule in your pocket?

The United States requires that members of the USM guard treasures during hurricanes.

OOC: Just because a country does this in RL doesn't automatically make this good policy.

[Molotovsk]

The United States requires that members of the USM guard treasures during hurricanes.

OOC: Just because a country does this in RL doesn't automatically make this good policy.

You have a point. Fixed.

[The Great Nation of Sawgrassia]

The Collective Order regretfully opposes at this time due to lack of scientific clarity and accuracy, forcing nation-states to send troops directly into harms way during a tropical cyclone and diverting resources away from rescue and other emergency operations.

OOC: I literally plan on specializing in tropical meteorology so this is right up my alley. This is kinda all over the place scientifically. Lol. Maybe I could present a different version or we could maybe co-author something. Also, I’m not sure if such an organization is already in existence within the IMO.

[Molotovsk]

The Collective Order regretfully opposes at this time due to lack of scientific clarity and accuracy, forcing nation-states to send troops directly into harms way during a tropical cyclone and diverting resources away from rescue and other emergency operations.

OOC: I literally plan on specializing in tropical meteorology so this is right up my alley. This is kinda all over the place scientifically. Lol. Maybe I could present a different version or we could maybe co-author something. Also, I’m not sure if such an organization is already in existence within the IMO.

I fixed the mistake on sending troops to hazard. For the co-author, I would love for you to either present a better version or become a co-author.

[The Great Nation of Sawgrassia]

The Collective Order regretfully opposes at this time due to lack of scientific clarity and accuracy, forcing nation-states to send troops directly into harms way during a tropical cyclone and diverting resources away from rescue and other emergency operations.

OOC: I literally plan on specializing in tropical meteorology so this is right up my alley. This is kinda all over the place scientifically. Lol. Maybe I could present a different version or we could maybe co-author something. Also, I’m not sure if such an organization is already in existence within the IMO.

I fixed the mistake on sending troops to hazard. For the co-author, I would love for you to either present a better version or become a co-author.

I’ll make my own version and post it separately and then we can take the comments and suggestions from both and combine them in a final proposal which we’ll co-author. How does that sound?

[Ardiveds]

OOC: wait, the Cyclone Activity Program is going to “control” cyclones? Well if it’s so, can’t they just control it away from settlements?
Also, how would the CAP “force” nations to save people? Threat of war? Nukes? Defenestration? Why would they even have to force them? Nations usually try to save as many people anyway. Even then, if you are sceptical, just mandate members have to have a plan or something to evacuate at risk areas and arrange rescue operations.

[Molotovsk]

I fixed the mistake on sending troops to hazard. For the co-author, I would love for you to either present a better version or become a co-author.

I’ll make my own version and post it separately and then we can take the comments and suggestions from both and combine them in a final proposal which we’ll co-author. How does that sound?

Sounds good. Just replace the we'll with an I'll and submit your version here.

[Potted Plants United]

I’ll make my own version and post it separately and then we can take the comments and suggestions from both and combine them in a final proposal which we’ll co-author. How does that sound?

Sounds good. Just replace the we'll with an I'll and submit your version here.

OOC: Let the person who sounds like what they're doing, to do their thing. You can't plagiarize from others without their permission. Even if you're just badge-hunting (as it sounds like), you need to calm down and research your topics better. Look outside of USA too - it does a lot of things badly, and from watching the international news, I'd say "dealing with natural disasters like hurricanes" is one of the things USA fumbles with a lot.

Also, what does this do that this resolution doesn't do?

[Separatist Peoples]

I’ll make my own version and post it separately and then we can take the comments and suggestions from both and combine them in a final proposal which we’ll co-author. How does that sound?

Sounds good. Just replace the we'll with an I'll and submit your version here.

Ooc: you've no need to be protective of your work here. It isn't very good. Accept the help. You desperately need it.

[Outer Sparta]

I’ll make my own version and post it separately and then we can take the comments and suggestions from both and combine them in a final proposal which we’ll co-author. How does that sound?

Sounds good. Just replace the we'll with an I'll and submit your version here.

Are you really thinking of plagiarizing someone else's work? That's... not a good look.

[Molotovsk]

Sounds good. Just replace the we'll with an I'll and submit your version here.

Are you really thinking of plagiarizing someone else's work? That's... not a good look.

No, I plan on combining his work with mine, submitting it, and listing him as a co-author.

Sounds good. Just replace the we'll with an I'll and submit your version here.

Ooc: you've no need to be protective of your work here. It isn't very good. Accept the help. You desperately need it.

I did.

[Jedinsto]

No, I plan on combining his work with mine, submitting it, and listing him as a co-author.

That is still plagiarism. You need permission to use other people's work as your own. Not sure what this new serial plagiarist look you're showing is all about, but it's not good. Also, there's a difference between using advice in the threads and straight up stealing their draft and listing them as a co-author. On top of that, co-authors have a right to remove the proposal if they don't like it. It's happened before when they did not consent to be a co-author.

[The Great Nation of Sawgrassia]

I just posted my version. With all due respect, since I am likely the higher authority on the topic (OOC: I actually want to work for the national hurricane center in the future), I was hoping I could submit the proposal and list you as the co-author after working with you on the topic. Just combining my work it’s yours and listing me as a co-author without actually working with me is not what I believe either of us had in mind originally and what I believe many people would still view as plagiarism. I look forward to working WITH you on this topic moving forward, if not on my own. But I will not support any legislation, composed in part by me, without my full consent and agreement.

[Araraukar]

With all due respect, since I am likely the higher authority on the topic (OOC: I actually want to work for the national hurricane center in the future)

OOC: To be fair, your proposal isn't that much better either. And calling yourself higher authority in IC, given the bit marked OOC is in round brackets, is just ridiculous. In IC everyone's ambassador is the same rank. I know what you meant with it, but anyone can claim any rank or knowledge in IC, whether they have that knowledge OOCly.

[Ardiveds]

OOC: It's great you and Sawgrassia are working together but frankly it's a bit hard giving suggestions on a proposal when it's split into two seperate proposals and no one knows which parts will be taken from which. Untimately, you can only submit one so why not just discuss among yourselves and come up with a coherent single proposal like Cesnica and Snake are doing on that animal welfare one?

[Kenmoria]

“I have left some feedback on a printed copy of the current draft, or at least what I believe to be the current draft, in red pen.”

The World Assembly,

Noting that tropical cyclones are frequent in coastal areas, threatening any populations living nearby, All of your preambulatory clauses are worded in such a manner so as to require the use of the word ‘that’ after the opening verb. I also reworded this clause to avoid implying that all coastal areas necessarily bear populations.

Realizing that tropical cyclones are almost unpredictable making them one of the most deadly natural disasters, I’m not seeing the connection between unpredictability and deadliness. There is a correlation, and probably a causal link, but this implies that one automatically leads to the other.

Discovering that tropical cyclones can be huge, affecting a large area of land, This clause should be either taken out or reworded, as the assembled delegations are likely already aware of what ‘huge’ means in a context of natural disasters.

Wanting to save the world from tropical cyclones, There’s more than one world in the World Assembly, confusingly enough, so you will need to do some editing here.

There should be a line with ‘Hereby,’ here.

I. Defines a tropical cyclone as a storm with violent winds and heavy rain. All of your active clauses should end with commas or semicolons rather than full stops.

II. Creates the Cyclone Activity Program, an organization tasked with monitoring tropical cyclones. I recommend seeing if you can reuse an existing committee rather than creating a new one.

III. Allows the Cyclone Activity Program to notify member states of tropical cyclones while forcing them to have a plan which tries to save and rescue people. Do not use ‘allow’ with committees; instead, give the committee tasks, since the committees will just do whatever the GA says.

IV. Gives funding from the World Assembly to pay for repairs caused by tropical cyclones. I believe that there is a monetary fund established through the GAO which should be used here.

V. Provides food, water, and shelter during and after a tropical cyclone to those in need. This clause doesn’t make sense. Are you wanting for member nations to do this?

VI. Funds member nations that cannot afford equipment with tools for warning, combating, and tracking tropical cyclones. Funds in what way? Using what resources? For what activities? The last question is implied, but so far you have not mandated that the member nations use these funds for anything other than banquets for heads of state.

VII. Requires member nations to share information about tropical cyclones, including its path and strength. With whom?

[The Great Nation of Sawgrassia]

With all due respect, since I am likely the higher authority on the topic (OOC: I actually want to work for the national hurricane center in the future)

OOC: To be fair, your proposal isn't that much better either. And calling yourself higher authority in IC, given the bit marked OOC is in round brackets, is just ridiculous. In IC everyone's ambassador is the same rank. I know what you meant with it, but anyone can claim any rank or knowledge in IC, whether they have that knowledge OOCly.

Gotcha. Sorry. I’m still new at this. I’ll be more careful with how I word things moving forward

[Wrapper]

OOC:

I. Defines a tropical cyclone as a storm with violent winds and heavy rain,

So a thunderstorm is a tropical cyclone? No, that's not what a tropical cyclone is.

[Molotovsk]

/bump

[Araraukar]

/bump

OOC: Why did you submit it already? It has grammar errors that make it hilarious nonsense, and the bits that aren't nonsense, are duplication or already done by a committee in a previously passed resolution.

Tropical Cyclone Convention

Category: International Security
Strength: Mild

The World Assembly,

Noting that tropical cyclones are frequent in coastal areas, threatening any populations living nearby,

Realizing that tropical cyclones are almost unpredictable making them one of the most deadly natural disasters because their path can be unknown,

Wanting to save many lives from tropical cyclones,

Hereby;

I. Defines a tropical cyclone as a spiral storm with violent winds and heavy rain,

II. Creates the Cyclone Activity Program, an organization tasked with monitoring tropical cyclones,

III. Tasks the Cyclone Activity Program to notify member states of tropical cyclones while forcing them to have a plan which tries to save and rescue people,

IV. Gives funding from the World Assembly to pay for repairs caused by tropical cyclones,

V. Funds member nations that cannot afford equipment with tools and money for warning, combating, and tracking tropical cyclones,

VI. Requires member nations to share information about tropical cyclones to the public, including its path and strength,

I'd also call it category failure - I see nothing in it that would increase police or military spending.

[Outer Sparta]

/bump

OOC: Why did you submit it already? It has grammar errors that make it hilarious nonsense, and the bits that aren't nonsense, are duplication or already done by a committee in a previously passed resolution.

Tropical Cyclone Convention

Category: International Security
Strength: Mild

The World Assembly,

Noting that tropical cyclones are frequent in coastal areas, threatening any populations living nearby,

Realizing that tropical cyclones are almost unpredictable making them one of the most deadly natural disasters because their path can be unknown,

Wanting to save many lives from tropical cyclones,

Hereby;

I. Defines a tropical cyclone as a spiral storm with violent winds and heavy rain,

II. Creates the Cyclone Activity Program, an organization tasked with monitoring tropical cyclones,

III. Tasks the Cyclone Activity Program to notify member states of tropical cyclones while forcing them to have a plan which tries to save and rescue people,

IV. Gives funding from the World Assembly to pay for repairs caused by tropical cyclones,

V. Funds member nations that cannot afford equipment with tools and money for warning, combating, and tracking tropical cyclones,

VI. Requires member nations to share information about tropical cyclones to the public, including its path and strength,

I'd also call it category failure - I see nothing in it that would increase police or military spending.

I don't think they know the proper procedures for drafting on the forums and think it's well-written (it isn't).