NationStates

/bump
Planned submission date pushed back to June 10th
Edit: If there are no more comments, I will be submitting it early (on May 28th).

Drew Durrnil wrote:/bump
Planned submission date pushed back to June 10th
Edit: If there are no more comments, I will be submitting it early (on May 28th).

OOC: Submit it when it's ready, not before. This is not ready. The issue with 2b remains.

2a is also a problem. Member states are perfectly capable of doing this themselves. And are already obliged by international law to train and certify crews.

3b would ban mobile phones on the person of a passenger. Overkill.

4a. Air marshals should be allowed to carry firearms.

4b. A book, a full bottle, shoes, belts, neckties, small bags, etc are items that might be used in an attack intended to harm someone.

Bananaistan wrote:

Drew Durrnil wrote:/bump
Planned submission date pushed back to June 10th
Edit: If there are no more comments, I will be submitting it early (on May 28th).

OOC: Submit it when it's ready, not before. This is not ready. The issue with 2b remains.

2a is also a problem. Member states are perfectly capable of doing this themselves. And are already obliged by international law to train and certify crews.

3b would ban mobile phones on the person of a passenger. Overkill.

4a. Air marshals should be allowed to carry firearms.

4b. A book, a full bottle, shoes, belts, neckties, small bags, etc are items that might be used in an attack intended to harm someone.

Ok, done

Edited clause 1e for clarity and removed a loophole in clause 1a that does not designate a drone as an aircraft.

Edited clause 4 for clarity and to remove a loophole where medical items that exacerbate an attack meant to harm or kill someone cannot be brought onto a plane. I also reached the character limit of 3,500 characters.

1. 4(b) is fairly easily exploitable. (For instance, I bring aboard trail mix as a snack. Said trail mix contains peanuts. Someone onboard has a peanut allergy.)
So, I'd re-word it or eliminate it, 4(a) is probably sufficient.

2. 5(c) needs to be non-negotiable.

Hulldom wrote:1. 4(b) is fairly easily exploitable. (For instance, I bring aboard trail mix as a snack. Said trail mix contains peanuts. Someone onboard has a peanut allergy.)
So, I'd re-word it or eliminate it, 4(a) is probably sufficient.

2. 5(c) needs to be non-negotiable.

ok, done

Article 1g is redundant because you do not use the term "aircraft manufacturer" anywhere else in your proposal. Article 1f is also redundant because - upon the removal of Article 1g - you will not have used the term "airline" anywhere in your proposal. The wisdom of keeping Article 1c in your proposal is questionable, given that the word "airspace" is otherwise only used in Article 1a

Tinhampton wrote:Article 1g is redundant because you do not use the term "aircraft manufacturer" anywhere else in your proposal. Article 1f is also redundant because - upon the removal of Article 1g - you will not have used the term "airline" anywhere in your proposal. The wisdom of keeping Article 1c in your proposal is questionable, given that the word "airspace" is otherwise only used in Article 1a

ok, removed

added a poll
if the plurality is either for "yes" or "almost", I will put this proposal on last call until June 6th, where I will either:

1. Submit it (if the plurality is "yes"); or
2. Do another poll, where the process will repeat again except the second last call will be skipped if the plurality for the second poll is "yes" (if the plurality is "almost")

If the plurality is "no", I will continue the drafting process
and if the plurality is "scrap this", I will scrap this proposal

here's my question to you- do you think it's ready?

Here's my answer to the question- not really. Will leave feedback soon.

Jedinsto wrote:here's my question to you- do you think it's ready?

Here's my answer to the question- not really. Will leave feedback soon.

no

Drew Durrnil wrote:added a poll
if the plurality is either for "yes" or "almost", I will put this proposal on last call until June 6th, where I will either:

1. Submit it (if the plurality is "yes"); or
2. Do another poll, where the process will repeat again except the second last call will be skipped if the plurality for the second poll is "yes" (if the plurality is "almost")

If the plurality is "no", I will continue the drafting process
and if the plurality is "scrap this", I will scrap this proposal

OOC: Polls mean nothing. Submit it when it's ready, not before. This is not ready. The issue with 2b remains.

Bananaistan wrote:

Drew Durrnil wrote:added a poll
if the plurality is either for "yes" or "almost", I will put this proposal on last call until June 6th, where I will either:

1. Submit it (if the plurality is "yes"); or
2. Do another poll, where the process will repeat again except the second last call will be skipped if the plurality for the second poll is "yes" (if the plurality is "almost")

If the plurality is "no", I will continue the drafting process
and if the plurality is "scrap this", I will scrap this proposal

OOC: Polls mean nothing. Submit it when it's ready, not before. This is not ready. The issue with 2b remains.

it should be fixed now

Drew Durrnil wrote:

Bananaistan wrote:
OOC: Polls mean nothing. Submit it when it's ready, not before. This is not ready. The issue with 2b remains.

it should be fixed now

I don't understand why you seem to be a bit twitchy in regards to submission. The drafting process is a marathon, not a sprint. There's a reason why you have to be committed for weeks or maybe months to get a quality piece of work ready.

As for your draft, it looks way better than where you started, but obviously there are a few issues already mentioned by others you have to work on.

I reworded some things for clarity and to remove some loopholes and added a new definition.

My redraft. No major changes.

The World Assembly;

Believing that passengers of all aircraft should be and feel safe and protected;

Wishing to establish universal standards for aircraft safety;

Hereby:

1. Defines:
   
   1. An "aircraft" as a vehicle that is capable of moving via airspace on its propulsion;
   2. A "pilot" as an individual trained to be operating/navigating an aircraft;
   3. A "manned aircraft" as an aircraft housing a sapient being, whether it be a pilot or a passenger;
   4. An "airport" as a strip of land specifically made for the taking off, taxiing, and landing of aircraft; and
   5. An "aircraft irregularity" as an abnormality in an aircraft or in the flying of an aircraft that disrupts the everyday routines of said aircraft;
2. Establishes the World Assembly Aviation Commission (from now on referred to as the WAAC), tasked with the following:
   
   1. Assisting national aviation agencies in registering and cataloging airports; and
   2. Enforcing the actions stated below;
3. Prohibits the following in the cabin of all aircraft (unless the item(s) can't be removed):
   
   1. Any drugs or poisons (excepting drugs or poisons meant for a use that would ultimately benefit the carrier or subject) that can impair an individual's ability to communicate or otherwise perform essential human actions such as moving and eating; and
   2. Anything manufactured to impair the normal functions or flight patterns of said aircraft;
4. Prohibits the following in the cabin of all passenger aircraft (unless the item(s) can not be removed from someone's cabin/person or are for a use that would ultimately benefit the carrier or subject):
   
   1. Any item that's intended to harm or kill, such as firearms and bombs (unless the armed person in question is an air marshal); and
   2. Any item manufactured to exacerbate an attack intended to harm or kill someone;
5. Enacts the following:
   
   1. All aircraft irregularities must be reported to the WAAC immediately by the pilot for mandatory investigation by the WAAC, except if:
      
      1. The pilot of an aircraft is unable to adequately communicate with the WAAC, in which a crew member of said aircraft able to communicate with the WAAC shall report the irregularity;
      2. All crew members on an aircraft are unable to adequately communicate with the WAAC, in which a passenger of said aircraft able to communicate with the WAAC shall report the irregularity;
      3. There is no one on an aircraft that can adequately communicate with the WAAC, in which the nation's aviation authority shall report the irregularity;
      4. The nation does not have an aviation authority, in which the nearest member state with an aviation authority of their own shall report the irregularity, at the subject nation's consent;
   2. All manned aircraft without a self-sufficient autopilot or a remote pilot must have a copilot if the WAAC concludes that said aircraft needs one based on size and mechanical constraints;
   3. All manned aircraft must have a first-aid kit and at least one emergency exit or another form of aircraft emergency evacuation; and
   4. All airports must have the necessary supplies and land for the taxiing, taking off, and landing of aircraft, as listed by the WAAC.

Minskiev wrote:My redraft. No major changes.

The World Assembly;

Believing that passengers of all aircraft should be and feel safe and protected;

Wishing to establish universal standards for aircraft safety;

Hereby:

1. Defines:
   
   1. An "aircraft" as a vehicle that is capable of moving via airspace on its propulsion;
   2. A "pilot" as an individual trained to be operating/navigating an aircraft;
   3. A "manned aircraft" as an aircraft housing a sapient being, whether it be a pilot or a passenger;
   4. An "airport" as a strip of land specifically made for the taking off, taxiing, and landing of aircraft; and
   5. An "aircraft irregularity" as an abnormality in an aircraft or in the flying of an aircraft that disrupts the everyday routines of said aircraft;
2. Establishes the World Assembly Aviation Commission (from now on referred to as the WAAC), tasked with the following:
   
   1. Assisting national aviation agencies in registering and cataloging airports; and
   2. Enforcing the actions stated below;
3. Prohibits the following in the cabin of all aircraft (unless the item(s) can't be removed):
   
   1. Any drugs or poisons (excepting drugs or poisons meant for a use that would ultimately benefit the carrier or subject) that can impair an individual's ability to communicate or otherwise perform essential human actions such as moving and eating; and
   2. Anything manufactured to impair the normal functions or flight patterns of said aircraft;
4. Prohibits the following in the cabin of all passenger aircraft (unless the item(s) can not be removed from someone's cabin/person or are for a use that would ultimately benefit the carrier or subject):
   
   1. Any item that's intended to harm or kill, such as firearms and bombs (unless the armed person in question is an air marshal); and
   2. Any item manufactured to exacerbate an attack intended to harm or kill someone;
5. Enacts the following:
   
   1. All aircraft irregularities must be reported to the WAAC immediately by the pilot for mandatory investigation by the WAAC, except if:
      
      1. The pilot of an aircraft is unable to adequately communicate with the WAAC, in which a crew member of said aircraft able to communicate with the WAAC shall report the irregularity;
      2. All crew members on an aircraft are unable to adequately communicate with the WAAC, in which a passenger of said aircraft able to communicate with the WAAC shall report the irregularity;
      3. There is no one on an aircraft that can adequately communicate with the WAAC, in which the nation's aviation authority shall report the irregularity;
      4. The nation does not have an aviation authority, in which the nearest member state with an aviation authority of their own shall report the irregularity, at the subject nation's consent;
   2. All manned aircraft without a self-sufficient autopilot or a remote pilot must have a copilot if the WAAC concludes that said aircraft needs one based on size and mechanical constraints;
   3. All manned aircraft must have a first-aid kit and at least one emergency exit or another form of aircraft emergency evacuation; and
   4. All airports must have the necessary supplies and land for the taxiing, taking off, and landing of aircraft, as listed by the WAAC.

redraft rejected (doesn't actually improve the proposal in a meaningful way)

In 4a, could Your Excellency define Air Marshal in the resolution? I feel like this should just be changed to government-authorized personnel as to not impede any legislation made where security guards are hired to secure passenger aircraft.

Pan-Asiatic States wrote:In 4a, could Your Excellency define Air Marshal in the resolution? I feel like this should just be changed to government-authorized personnel as to not impede any legislation made where security guards are hired to secure passenger aircraft.

I did that, added a clause to section 2, and reworded some things to fit in the character limit.

Drew Durrnil wrote:

Pan-Asiatic States wrote:In 4a, could Your Excellency define Air Marshal in the resolution? I feel like this should just be changed to government-authorized personnel as to not impede any legislation made where security guards are hired to secure passenger aircraft.

I did that, added a clause to section 2, and reworded some things to fit in the character limit.

Ah, well done.

Drew Durrnil wrote:

Minskiev wrote:My redraft. No major changes.

The World Assembly;

Believing that passengers of all aircraft should be and feel safe and protected;

Wishing to establish universal standards for aircraft safety;

Hereby:

1. Defines:
   
   1. An "aircraft" as a vehicle that is capable of moving via airspace on its propulsion;
   2. A "pilot" as an individual trained to be operating/navigating an aircraft;
   3. A "manned aircraft" as an aircraft housing a sapient being, whether it be a pilot or a passenger;
   4. An "airport" as a strip of land specifically made for the taking off, taxiing, and landing of aircraft; and
   5. An "aircraft irregularity" as an abnormality in an aircraft or in the flying of an aircraft that disrupts the everyday routines of said aircraft;
2. Establishes the World Assembly Aviation Commission (from now on referred to as the WAAC), tasked with the following:
   
   1. Assisting national aviation agencies in registering and cataloging airports; and
   2. Enforcing the actions stated below;
3. Prohibits the following in the cabin of all aircraft (unless the item(s) can't be removed):
   
   1. Any drugs or poisons (excepting drugs or poisons meant for a use that would ultimately benefit the carrier or subject) that can impair an individual's ability to communicate or otherwise perform essential human actions such as moving and eating; and
   2. Anything manufactured to impair the normal functions or flight patterns of said aircraft;
4. Prohibits the following in the cabin of all passenger aircraft (unless the item(s) can not be removed from someone's cabin/person or are for a use that would ultimately benefit the carrier or subject):
   
   1. Any item that's intended to harm or kill, such as firearms and bombs (unless the armed person in question is an air marshal); and
   2. Any item manufactured to exacerbate an attack intended to harm or kill someone;
5. Enacts the following:
   
   1. All aircraft irregularities must be reported to the WAAC immediately by the pilot for mandatory investigation by the WAAC, except if:
      
      1. The pilot of an aircraft is unable to adequately communicate with the WAAC, in which a crew member of said aircraft able to communicate with the WAAC shall report the irregularity;
      2. All crew members on an aircraft are unable to adequately communicate with the WAAC, in which a passenger of said aircraft able to communicate with the WAAC shall report the irregularity;
      3. There is no one on an aircraft that can adequately communicate with the WAAC, in which the nation's aviation authority shall report the irregularity;
      4. The nation does not have an aviation authority, in which the nearest member state with an aviation authority of their own shall report the irregularity, at the subject nation's consent;
   2. All manned aircraft without a self-sufficient autopilot or a remote pilot must have a copilot if the WAAC concludes that said aircraft needs one based on size and mechanical constraints;
   3. All manned aircraft must have a first-aid kit and at least one emergency exit or another form of aircraft emergency evacuation; and
   4. All airports must have the necessary supplies and land for the taxiing, taking off, and landing of aircraft, as listed by the WAAC.

redraft rejected (doesn't actually improve the proposal in a meaningful way)

Your loss, I guess. Cut down the wordiness.

Minskiev wrote:

Drew Durrnil wrote:redraft rejected (doesn't actually improve the proposal in a meaningful way)

Your loss, I guess. Cut down the wordiness.

ok, I selected and used some of your proposed changes so I can have more room for other changes

/bump

/bump