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New proposal - and my first proposal

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Gunibuha
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Founded: Jul 31, 2020
Ex-Nation

New proposal - and my first proposal

Postby Gunibuha » Sun Sep 13, 2020 12:00 am

In development
Last edited by Gunibuha on Sun Sep 13, 2020 4:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Tinhampton
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Postby Tinhampton » Sun Sep 13, 2020 12:20 am

Full support 8)
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Imperium Anglorum
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Left-Leaning College State

Postby Imperium Anglorum » Sun Sep 13, 2020 12:25 am

Read the proposal rules. Your proposal can't include your own nation name in it, that's branding. Also, you almost certainly want to be more specific. Exactly what pledge? Pledge to what? Donation of how much? Prevention of what? Keeping nature vibrant how? Diverse to what level?

Answering these kinds of specific policy questions makes the GA probably the hardest part of the game. Good luck!

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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Sun Sep 13, 2020 12:28 am

You haven't included Category and Strength/Are of Effect, though I assume it'd be Environmental All Businesses Mild/Strong depending on the angle you take with it
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Merni
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Postby Merni » Sun Sep 13, 2020 1:25 am

This has been submitted.
General Assembly Proposal
ID: gunibuha_1599978612

Eco-Friendly Development Act
A resolution to increase the quality of the world's environment, at the expense of industry.

Category: Environmental

Industry Affected: All Businesses - Strong

Proposed by: Gunibuha

Act of environmental protection
While we are to develop our economies, our nature and our environment is irreplaceable, so we should do a joint effort to safeguard our skies, land and seas alike. So I am proposing we all do a joint decoration to help and secure nature in development, having a eco-friendly or as close to model adopted.
The people of Socialist state of Gunibuha has protected ours in out economic development, and feel we can stand up and say that if possible nations should be aware and not pollute without need their own land for such superficial gains.

It would involve
1) a pledge to support eco-friendly company set ups
2) a small donation to nature prevention in the world assembly states as to support each-over
3) promotion of a win-win mindset when developing economies as to best keep nature vibrant and diverse

Approvals: 1 (Tinhampton)

GenSec Status: LEGAL
Info
Status: Lacking Support (requires 62 more approvals)

Voting Ends: in 3 days 7 hours

Gunibuha: I urge you to read the feedback you got here, and continue drafting the proposal in the forum until you get it into a final shape, before submitting it. Also see passed resolutions for examples of how to write a resolution.
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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Sun Sep 13, 2020 1:29 am

Still illegal for branding
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Picairn
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Postby Picairn » Sun Sep 13, 2020 1:39 am

This reads like a non-binding pledge, not an actual policy proposal. No content, no specifics, no nothing. And yet the author submitted it. >:(
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Grays Harbor
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Postby Grays Harbor » Sun Sep 13, 2020 3:21 am

a small donation to nature prevention

We’re donating to prevent nature?

Pull your submission. Draft here. This is full of illegal.
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Gunibuha
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Founded: Jul 31, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Gunibuha » Sun Sep 13, 2020 3:36 am

Imperium Anglorum wrote:Read the proposal rules. Your proposal can't include your own nation name in it, that's branding. Also, you almost certainly want to be more specific. Exactly what pledge? Pledge to what? Donation of how much? Prevention of what? Keeping nature vibrant how? Diverse to what level?

Answering these kinds of specific policy questions makes the GA probably the hardest part of the game. Good luck!

It was my first attempt at, I am sorry if i accidentally did it incorrectly, it was not a self promotion either, but just a first attempt (very new to this sort of thing)

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Kenmoria
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Founded: Jul 03, 2017
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Kenmoria » Sun Sep 13, 2020 3:44 am

Gunibuha wrote:
Imperium Anglorum wrote:Read the proposal rules. Your proposal can't include your own nation name in it, that's branding. Also, you almost certainly want to be more specific. Exactly what pledge? Pledge to what? Donation of how much? Prevention of what? Keeping nature vibrant how? Diverse to what level?

Answering these kinds of specific policy questions makes the GA probably the hardest part of the game. Good luck!

It was my first attempt at, I am sorry if i accidentally did it incorrectly, it was not a self promotion either, but just a first attempt (very new to this sort of thing)

(OOC: That’s fine; you are a new player. In future, check the proposal rules before drafting anything, since those decide what is legal and what is not. It could also be helpful to have a look at the passed resolutions for inspiration.)
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Murab
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New York Times Democracy

Postby Murab » Sun Sep 13, 2020 3:52 am

[quote="Gunibuha";p="37641300"]Act of environmental protection
So I am proposing we all do a joint decoration to help and secure nature in development, having a eco-friendly or as close to model adopted.

I know what you mean, of course, but "decoration" isn't the word you're looking for. Mind you, the WA lobby could do with brightening up...

Sorry, I know it's petty. It just amused me.

Good luck with your proposal!

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Grays Harbor
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Postby Grays Harbor » Sun Sep 13, 2020 4:12 am

Murab wrote:
Gunibuha wrote:Act of environmental protection
So I am proposing we all do a joint decoration to help and secure nature in development, having a eco-friendly or as close to model adopted.

I know what you mean, of course, but "decoration" isn't the word you're looking for. Mind you, the WA lobby could do with brightening up...

Sorry, I know it's petty. It just amused me.

Good luck with your proposal!

Bah. This is a place of business. Froo-frah is not necessary.
Last edited by Grays Harbor on Sun Sep 13, 2020 4:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
Everything you know about me is wrong. Or a rumor. Something like that.

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Gunibuha
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Founded: Jul 31, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Gunibuha » Sun Sep 13, 2020 5:02 am

Murab wrote:
Gunibuha wrote:Act of environmental protection
So I am proposing we all do a joint decoration to help and secure nature in development, having a eco-friendly or as close to model adopted.

I know what you mean, of course, but "decoration" isn't the word you're looking for. Mind you, the WA lobby could do with brightening up...

Sorry, I know it's petty. It just amused me.

Good luck with your proposal!

All good - I re-wrote it with the proper guidelines

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Attempted Socialism
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Posts: 1681
Founded: Feb 21, 2011
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Attempted Socialism » Sun Sep 13, 2020 5:49 am

Four general suggestions:
- Use the feedback from drafting, but don't rewrite your draft after each comment. Acknowledge feedback, ask questions, and then rework your resolution every few days.
- Post your current draft in your first post, note any changes since last draft, and keep older drafts in a spoiler.
- Draft for at least 4-8 weeks. This is a marathon, not a sprint. The earlier you submit, the worse your proposal will often be. Some proposals have been drafted for years (Though that is not a recommendation).
- Read the rules and current environmental resolutions. What you were proposing was so bland that it didn't do anything, but if it had, it would be lesser versions of current resolutions.

Good luck!


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Picairn
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Left-wing Utopia

Postby Picairn » Sun Sep 13, 2020 5:54 am

Why did you submit this proposal straight away when you said it was still in development?
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Attempted Socialism
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Left-wing Utopia

Postby Attempted Socialism » Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:21 am

Gunibuha wrote:
Murab wrote:

All good - I re-wrote it with the proper guidelines

You didn't. Your new rewrite is illegal on the second line. Draft for 4-8 weeks before you even think about submitting.


Represented in the World Assembly by Ambassador Robert Mortimer Pride, called The Regicide
Assume OOC unless otherwise indicated. My WA Authorship.
Cui Bono, quod seipsos custodes custodiunt?
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Who am I in real life, my opinions and notes
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Grays Harbor
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Founded: Antiquity
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Grays Harbor » Sun Sep 13, 2020 7:43 am

Why has this been submitted again already?
Everything you know about me is wrong. Or a rumor. Something like that.

Not Ta'veren


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