[Abandoned] Health Standards For The Disadvantaged

[Epiree]

It's my first attempt at a resolution so please tear it to shreds.

Health Standards For The Disadvantaged

Acknowledging the rising number of disadvantaged persons due to the rise in global population;

Recognises that many disadvantaged persons may not have access to regular health services;

Wishing to raise the basic health standard for all persons, regardless of their financial position, hereby:

1. Definitions in this resolution are:

a.‘Disadvantaged’
i. Homelessness

ii. Unable to pay any existing fees for health services

iii. Unable to access health services

b. ‘Regulate’
i. Reviewing the use of resources to make sure they were used legally

2. Establishes volunteer-run Health Information Clinics (HIC), which aim to inform citizens in high-risk areas of basic first aid skills. These are to be run by volunteers with adequate medical experience and set up by the COMDP.

3. Establishes the Committee for Oversight and Management of Disadvantaged Persons (COMDP) with the following responsibilities:
a. Regulating the use of health equipment and services in areas with high percentages of disadvantaged persons.
b. Compose a comprehensive report containing the details of previous cases, important factors of said cases and suggestions on improving public health
and safety to reduce the risk of reoccurrence.
c. Locating areas of high risk and setting up local HICs funded by the General Accounting Office.

4. Encourages all member nations to work to improve the health standards of their disadvantaged.

[Honeydewistania]

as per GA#97, member nations must provide affordable health services to all

[Tinhampton]

Very well, then...

It's my first attempt at a resolution so please tear it to shreds. Dutifully obliged!

Health Standards For The Disadvantaged Category (presumably Health) and Area of Effect?

Acknowledging the rising number of disadvantaged persons^{[citation needed]} due to the rise in global population^{[citation needed]};

Recognises Inconsistent tense ("recognising" instead?) that many^{[citation needed]} disadvantaged persons may not have access to regular health services^{[citation needed]};

Wishing^{[citation needed]} to raise^{[citation needed]} the basic health standard^{[citation needed]} for all persons^{[citation needed]}, regardless of their financial position^{[citation needed]}, hereby:

1. Definitions in this resolution are: "Wishing to raise the basic health standard for all persons, regardless of their financial position, hereby definitions in this resolution are [blah blah blah]" does not a sentence make.

a.‘Disadvantaged’
i. Homelessness On a long-term, short-term or permanent basis?

ii. Unable to pay any existing fees for health services Universal healthcare is a thing.

iii. Unable to access health services Is this definition inclusive or exclusive? Does a disadvantaged person have to be somebody who is homeless AND unable to afford healthcare AND unable to access healthcare, or must only one of the criteria be met?

b. ‘Regulate’ What I'm reading below absolutely does not look like regulation.
i. Reviewing How? the use of resources to make sure they were used legally Everybody is innocent until proven guilty, in general. Why are you placing the burden of proof on whoever is doing the "Regulat[ing]" to ensure that resources "[are] used legally" on the presumption that they are always being used illegally, rather than ensuring that those resources were not being used illegally? In any event, how and why will this be monitored?

2. Establishes volunteer-run Health Information Clinics (HIC) Uhhh... so what you're trying to tell me is that you're tasking the World Assembly with creating a bunch of committees in member states that are staffed by volunteers? How legal is this?, which aim to inform citizens in high-risk areas "High-risk" of what? Terrorist attacks? Being rendered uninhabitable by a natural disaster? Municipal bankruptcy? of basic first aid skills And that only? It is not the business of the World Assembly to require its member states to set up some version of St John's Ambulance in "high-risk areas," whatever that means.. These are to be run by volunteers with adequate medical experience and set up by the COMDP. Don't use acronyms before you define them.

3. Establishes the Committee for Oversight and Management of Disadvantaged Persons (COMDP) Too tyrannical-sounding ("disadvantaged persons" do not categorically require "oversight and management") and too unpronounceable - try some other name for your committee with the following responsibilities:
a. Regulating the use of health equipment and services Using your definition of "regulate" in Article 1b, we may assume that the COMDP must "review the use of health equipment and services to make sure they are used legally" in certain areas. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? in areas with high percentages As defined by? of disadvantaged persons.
b. Compose a comprehensive report How comprehensive? containing the details of previous cases Cases of what (note that COVID-19 is a real-world reference)? How detailed - especially given doctor-patient confidentiality?, important factors In relation to what? of said cases and suggestions on improving public health Obvious linebreak is obvious - please remove!
and safety In what regards? to reduce the risk of reoccurrence Reoccurrence of what? In which population? Or do you solely mean "reduc[ing] the risk of reoccurrence" for a described individual?.
c. Locating areas of high risk "High-risk" of what? Terrorist attacks? Being rendered uninhabitable by a natural disaster? Municipal bankruptcy? and setting up local HICs funded by the General Accounting Office Who requests the funding? How much funding can be requested? What safeguards are there? As it stands, I can request one dollar or a trillion from the GAO's coffers and I have no choice but to assume that they'll give it to me.

4. Encourages all member nations to work to improve the health standards of their disadvantaged. This is vague, fluffy, and does nothing in particular - which makes this particular sentence no better than Articles 2 and 3.

[Honeydewistania]

Oh and why do you provide shorthands for your committees that you don't use