[ABANDONDED] Furtherment of Education

[East Meranopirus]

I see no reason why you need to create a separate type of schools for this. If you want students to benefit, why not implement this on all schools in the WA?

[United Civil Republic]

I see no reason why you need to create a separate type of schools for this. If you want students to benefit, why not implement this on all schools in the WA?

I beleive that it would infringe on the rights of all countries to operate educational facilities in their countries, the difference in my resolutiuon and this argument is just what you are suggesting that I remove. The ability for the country to operate educational facilities as they see fit.

[East Meranopirus]

I see no reason why you need to create a separate type of schools for this. If you want students to benefit, why not implement this on all schools in the WA?

I beleive that it would infringe on the rights of all countries to operate educational facilities in their countries, the difference in my resolutiuon and this argument is just what you are suggesting that I remove. The ability for the country to operate educational facilities as they see fit.

Under your line of reasoning, forcing countries to operate a certain type of school, even if it's not for all schools, would also be infringing their rights. Especially since it literally lets the committee force governments to spend a certain amount of money on this thing.

[United Civil Republic]

I beleive that it would infringe on the rights of all countries to operate educational facilities in their countries, the difference in my resolutiuon and this argument is just what you are suggesting that I remove. The ability for the country to operate educational facilities as they see fit.

Under your line of reasoning, forcing countries to operate a certain type of school, even if it's not for all schools, would also be infringing their rights. Especially since it literally lets the committee force governments to spend a certain amount of money on this thing.

I believe that the partial sacrifice of a nation's rights is necessary for the betterment of society.

[Bananaistan]

OOC: This was submitted. I can't for the life of me see any operative clause in it and have marked it illegal as such.

[Araraukar]

theoretically the committee would be culturualy diverse. That is as much as I can say without trying to meta-game my resolution.

OOC: Actually, that would violate the commmittee rule.

In places the proposal sentences are not constructed in the way English sentences are, or simply don't make sense. Is English your first language?

[East Meranopirus]

Well, I knew you would rush to resubmit it. Let me be the first to tell you that's a very bad idea. For your information, most resolutions take at least weeks, a lot of them months, from start to completion. Your proposal has multiple problems, the most important one being it's illegal. Judging from what you have said in this thread, I'm inclined to believe that you thought people are only objecting your proposal on principle, believing it's unnecessary or something of the sort, and don't actually have anything to criticize over your actual text. Well, unfortunately your proposal is, first and foremost, not written to the normal General Assembly standard (I suggest you look at passed resolutions to get an idea of what the standard is), as well as having problems with wording and structure. There's also issues with implementation etc, which people would have pointed out if they believed it was a viable proposal and looked at the specifics. Unfortunately, as most people understand it's not a viable proposal, they simply are trying to tell you why it's not viable and prevent you from wasting time. Now to respond to your statement:

I believe that the partial sacrifice of a nation's rights is necessary for the betterment of society.

Anything that compels a nation to spend money on something is undoubtedly more of an "infringement" than implementing standards with something like the curriculum.

[Araraukar]

For your information, the fastest that a passed resolution has gone from scratch to submission is about a month.

OOC: Untrue, but the rest of what you say is valid.

[East Meranopirus]

For your information, the fastest that a passed resolution has gone from scratch to submission is about a month.

OOC: Untrue, but the rest of what you say is valid.

Oh right, I suppose. But those tend to be from the more experienced authors, and even some of them still take months. But I was trying to make a point. I'll change it.

[United Civil Republic]

OOC: This was submitted. I can't for the life of me see any operative clause in it and have marked it illegal as such.

Please see the third line and tell me what I could have improved as the operative clause.

[Kenmoria]

OOC: This was submitted. I can't for the life of me see any operative clause in it and have marked it illegal as such.

Please see the third line and tell me what I could have improved as the operative clause.

(OOC: Currently, member nations are not required or encouraged to do anything. Merely allowing them to do something is not sufficient.)

[Youssath]

IC: "What?", the Youssathian Ambassador exclaims, spitting his coffee as he slowly recomposes himself. "You want to implement a second educational system on top of the old one for non-traditional learning? Jolly, it would surely blow our national budget out of proportion!". The Ambassador laughs, before taking another sip of his coffee. "May I suggest an articulation on how these schools actually work, and what the students are supposed to achieve upon graduation? For me, I certainly fear the social stigma coming from the 'World School education system' since it feels more grandeur, especially those smart nerdy computer geeks!"

OOC: I wouldn't foresee this draft moving forward if it maintains at this pace of progress. As much as this idea seems well-articulated and such, you will need to remember that these are international laws you are writing, not your own national laws. Having to write international laws and insisting on your course of interpretation only sets to isolate your own thinking as nations around you do not wish to ratify a law if they have no say in it and that it impedes its precedent. As such, I think this will need to head back to the drawing board for further review.

[United Civil Republic]

IC: "What?", the Youssathian Ambassador exclaims, spitting his coffee as he slowly recomposes himself. "You want to implement a second educational system on top of the old one for non-traditional learning? Jolly, it would surely blow our national budget out of proportion!". The Ambassador laughs, before taking another sip of his coffee. "May I suggest an articulation on how these schools actually work, and what the students are supposed to achieve upon graduation? For me, I certainly fear the social stigma coming from the 'World School education system' since it feels more grandeur, especially those smart nerdy computer geeks!"

OOC: I wouldn't foresee this draft moving forward if it maintains at this pace of progress. As much as this idea seems well-articulated and such, you will need to remember that these are international laws you are writing, not your own national laws. Having to write international laws and insisting on your course of interpretation only sets to isolate your own thinking as nations around you do not wish to ratify a law if they have no say in it and that it impedes its precedent. As such, I think this will need to head back to the drawing board for further review.

In reply to the Ambassador's concerns, the young, blonde assistant to the Representative replies, "While your concerns have been noted, please realize that we did not want to impede on the right of the committee to form the schools in a way that it would see fit."

OOC: I understand where you are coming from, but it is my idea that the committee would design the system in the way that you are looking at it. I am going to correct a bit of wording to identify that now. Please check article 2 at your next convenience for the change.

[United Civil Republic]

IC: "What?", the Youssathian Ambassador exclaims, spitting his coffee as he slowly recomposes himself. "You want to implement a second educational system on top of the old one for non-traditional learning? Jolly, it would surely blow our national budget out of proportion!". The Ambassador laughs, before taking another sip of his coffee. "May I suggest an articulation on how these schools actually work, and what the students are supposed to achieve upon graduation? For me, I certainly fear the social stigma coming from the 'World School education system' since it feels more grandeur, especially those smart nerdy computer geeks!"

OOC: I wouldn't foresee this draft moving forward if it maintains at this pace of progress. As much as this idea seems well-articulated and such, you will need to remember that these are international laws you are writing, not your own national laws. Having to write international laws and insisting on your course of interpretation only sets to isolate your own thinking as nations around you do not wish to ratify a law if they have no say in it and that it impedes its precedent. As such, I think this will need to head back to the drawing board for further review.

In reply to the Ambassador's concerns, the young, blonde assistant to the Representative replies, "While your concerns have been noted, please realize that we did not want to impede on the right of the committee to form the schools in a way that it would see fit."

OOC: I understand where you are coming from, but it is my idea that the committee would design the system in the way that you are looking at it. I am going to correct a bit of wording to identify that now. Please check article 2 at your next convenience for the change.

OOC: I have reveiwed my resolution, added a clause and I will now ask for any assitance that you are willing to provide in stating that the matters that you have addressed are matters of the committee and not of the resolution itself.

[United Civil Republic]

Please see the third line and tell me what I could have improved as the operative clause.

(OOC: Currently, member nations are not required or encouraged to do anything. Merely allowing them to do something is not sufficient.)

Ok. I will correct that line for clarification purposes.

[United Civil Republic]

theoretically the committee would be culturualy diverse. That is as much as I can say without trying to meta-game my resolution.

OOC: Actually, that would violate the commmittee rule.

In places the proposal sentences are not constructed in the way English sentences are, or simply don't make sense. Is English your first language?

OOC: That's why I don't include it.

Also, if you would include examples of your claim, and yes English is my first language.

[The New Nordic Union]

OOC: Actually, that would violate the commmittee rule.

In places the proposal sentences are not constructed in the way English sentences are, or simply don't make sense. Is English your first language?

OOC: That's why I don't include it.

Also, if you would include examples of your claim, and yes English is my first language.

OOC: Presumably sentences like 'An example of non-traditional learning techniques as used in this document, is a physics course that focuses on how to algebraic skills to create formulas to demonstrate theories.' or 'Finance is not used to describe how much should be allotted, but where it is allotted from.'

[United Civil Republic]

OOC: That's why I don't include it.

Also, if you would include examples of your claim, and yes English is my first language.

OOC: Presumably sentences like 'An example of non-traditional learning techniques as used in this document, is a physics course that focuses on how to algebraic skills to create formulas to demonstrate theories.' or 'Finance is not used to describe how much should be allotted, but where it is allotted from.'

OOC: Please clarify how those examples break the constraints of the English language?

[The New Nordic Union]

OOC: Presumably sentences like 'An example of non-traditional learning techniques as used in this document, is a physics course that focuses on how to algebraic skills to create formulas to demonstrate theories.' or 'Finance is not used to describe how much should be allotted, but where it is allotted from.'

OOC: Please clarify how those examples break the constraints of the English language?

OOC:
'focuses on how to algebraic skills' is clearly missing a verb, like 'use' or 'employ'.

The latter may be a correct sentence, grammatically, but not regarding its contents: Of course finance is not used to describe these things, as finance is the management of large amounts of money, especially by governments or large companies if used as a noun, or to provide funding, when used as a verb. It does not describe.

But maybe Ara had other examples in mind, as well.

[United Civil Republic]

"Focuses" is a verb.

[Araraukar]

"Focuses" is a verb.

OOC: But there should be another verb after "how to".

[United Civil Republic]

"Focuses" is a verb.

OOC: But there should be another verb after "how to".

I did miss the word use. Thank you for commenting. I will make sure to get that corrected.

[Araraukar]

OOC: But there should be another verb after "how to".

I did miss the word use. Thank you for commenting. I will make sure to get that corrected.

OOC: This still makes no sense:

Finance is not used to describe how much should be allotted, but where it is allotted from.

"Finance" is not used to describe anything, as it's a noun, not an adjective. The umbrella clause uses the verb form but if you were referring to that, the base form would be "to finance", and still wouldn't be an adjective. Also, even if the grammar was corrected, it would still make no sense, as you seem to be referring to funding, not financing. And even then there's no "allotted from" anywhere else that I can see, so the subclause is referring to something that isn't mentioned.

[United Civil Republic]

I did miss the word use. Thank you for commenting. I will make sure to get that corrected.

OOC: This still makes no sense:

Finance is not used to describe how much should be allotted, but where it is allotted from.

"Finance" is not used to describe anything, as it's a noun, not an adjective. The umbrella clause uses the verb form but if you were referring to that, the base form would be "to finance", and still wouldn't be an adjective. Also, even if the grammar was corrected, it would still make no sense, as you seem to be referring to funding, not financing. And even then there's no "allotted from" anywhere else that I can see, so the subclause is referring to something that isn't mentioned.

Thank you again for your wonderful comments. All of your concerns have been addressed. Please feel free to issue any others.

[Araraukar]

All of your concerns have been addressed.

OOC: I don't see any improvement in the "finance" clause. Are you updating the draft in the first post?

There are also a bunch of other linguistic oddities.

First clause, "professional development that improves pedagogy and leadership" - what are you trying to say with that? Like, don't edit the proposal but explain as a reply post what the idea behind that is.

Not an oddity, but "should" in 2.A. doesn't actually establish the committee.

2.B., "curriculum that executes non-traditional learning techniques" reads oddly (as the curriculum is just a plan, it doesn't do anything on its own).

Which leads to 2.Ba. and Bb., which do not actually explain anything about the non-traditional learning techniques, as algebra isn't a learning technique, nor are the other study areas you mention in Ba. Additionally, I spent school years 7-9 as a guinea-pig for all kinds of "non-traditional learning techniques" because our school was one of the test schools, and they all sucked and made learning more difficult, especially for people who already struggled with the traditional ways. (Our history teacher got a great big hurraa from us when she decided to ditch them in her classes for years 8 and 9.)

2.C., "school year period" sounds odd. Don't you mean just "school year"?

2.Da., is the school partially funded by something else but the state (and use "state", not "government" and talk of "funding" instead of "spending", if you want more support for this)? If yes, where does the rest of the funding come from?

Article 3 has a weird headline, as national independence is not actually discussed.

3.A. is internal contradiction with 2.D.

3.Ab., if that's so, then where does the rest of the funding come from? Because if you say "WA", then you're lying in this clause as the WA's funds are collected from all the member nations, so nations would inevitably end up assisting in the funding of another nation's school.

Article 4 header, "addressment" is not a word.

4.A., should have "its" instead of "it's", mention of Regional specifically in that manner is a Metagaming violation (making this illegal), "assistance" is mis-spelled, and in general it's a really stupid idea that sets up poor nations to be in violation of this proposal if their neighbours don't want to fund them. And I would say that most non-WA nations wouldn't want to fund a hairbrained WA scheme, and you've literally excused WA nations from having to do so.

Also, this "World School" seems to have no curriculum that would agree with the existing requirements of an existing resolution, so might be contradiction.

Who would teach in these schools? Why should parents want to send their kids to a strange brainwashing cult of an experimental school that's not answerable to the nation they live in? Why do you think this is a good idea to begin with? Like seriously, why?