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[DRAFT] Conscription Fairness Act

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Inhorto
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Founded: Jun 27, 2019
Ex-Nation

[DRAFT] Conscription Fairness Act

Postby Inhorto » Fri Jun 28, 2019 2:10 pm

I present the following bill for your consideration (previous title was "On Conscription"):
Conscription Fairness Act
Category: Civil Rights | Effect: Mild



The World Assembly,

IDENTIFYING the importance of standing armed forces in the Member states' safety and security,

ACKNOWLEDGING the historical importance of conscription in many Member states,

RECOGNIZING the perdurable obligation of a citizenry to defend its nation during peace and war,

CONCERNED that systems of conscription may lead to mismanagement and abuses of power towards minors or elderly persons,

The World Assembly hereby:
  1. DEFINES for the purposes of this resolution:
    "Conscription" is the obligatory enlistment of free persons into a military or national militia,
    "Free persons" are those not detained within a correctional facility and,
    "Disabled persons" are those with grievous or life-threatening physical or mental ailments that render them unfit for service,

  2. DECLARES that Members have sole discretion to implement conscription;

  3. PROHIBITS all Members from conscripting:
    1. Persons under the age of majority,
    2. Non-citizens,
    3. Citizens exempted by operation of diplomatic service,
    4. Disabled persons, notwithstanding gender or sex and,
    5. Primary familial caregivers to children or adult dependents who cannot be relocated or protected if their caregivers are absent,
  4. FURTHER PROHIBITS Members from conscripting persons for longer than four years;
    1. Persons conscripted before a war who have not met the four-year maximum conscription period by the time war is declared must have their conscription period reset so as to allow them to serve four years in the war;
    2. Members may require persons serving on naval vessels to involuntarily continue service after the four-year limit has elapsed if there is no feasible way to return the sailors to friendly or home shore. These sailors shall be released immediately upon arrival to native shores;
    3. CLARIFIES that this resolution does not prevent soldiers from voluntarily serving beyond the maximum period of conscription;
  5. MANDATES that Members must not recall those who have satisfied their maximum obligation, except during declared war or serious domestic unrest;

  6. ALLOWS Members to retain conscripted soldiers for an indefinite amount of time if and only if that Member is fighting an exclusively defensive war wherein the territorial integrity of that Member is in grievous jeopardy;

  7. ENCOURAGES Members to ensure the health, welfare, education, and employment of soldiers upon completion of their tour of duty;

  8. CLARIFIES that this resolution does not apply to those who have voluntarily enlisted into their national armed forces or militia(s).
Last edited by Inhorto on Mon Jul 08, 2019 7:28 pm, edited 28 times in total.
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Old Hope
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Tyranny by Majority

Postby Old Hope » Fri Jun 28, 2019 2:23 pm

Please look at this already passed resolution:https://www.nationstates.net/page=WA_past_resolution/id=132/council=1
Last edited by Old Hope on Fri Jun 28, 2019 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Kenmoria
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Postby Kenmoria » Fri Jun 28, 2019 2:40 pm

Inhorto wrote:I was not sure what category to put this proposal under, so I put it under international security, though I did also consider civil rights. Any comments, critiques, and suggestions are very much appreciated!

(OOC: I believe this would fit better under civil rights, rather than international security.)

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Morover
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Postby Morover » Fri Jun 28, 2019 2:52 pm

"I've left my comments in red, ambassador.


On Conscription
Category: International Security | Effect: Mild



The World Assembly,

IDENTIFYING the importance of standing armed forces in the safety and security of many of the World Assembly's members;

ACKNOWLEDGING the difficulty of many nations without the proper recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing participants;

RECOGNIZING the historical importance of conscription as a vital component of military culture in many member states;

FURTHER RECOGNIZING the perdurable obligation of a citizenry to defend its nation during peace and war;

NOTING the dissent of conscientious objectors towards military service;

CONCERNED that systems of conscription may lead to mismanagement and abuses of power at the expense of the enlisted—particularly towards minors or elderly persons;

The World Assembly hereby,
  1. DEFINES for the purposes of this resolution:
    1. Conscription as the obligatory enlistment of free persons into a military or national militia during times of war or peace;
    2. Free persons as those who are not detained within a correctional facility during the conscription;
    3. Disabled persons as those with grievous or life-threatening physical or mental ailments, such as—though not limited to—limb loss, cardiovascular disease, autoimmune disease, chronic pain, serious visual impairment or blindness, schizophrenia, Down syndrome, and severe intellectual disability. Persons are considered disabled inasmuch as they require constant medical attention or if their ailments prevent them from executing orders; Honestly, I'd remove the examples here. It creates a sort of humanocentricity (I believe that'd be the correct term?) which is unpreferable, despite your use of "not limited to." Additionally, removing these may make the definition a bit clearer, as you could say something along the lines of "life-threatening physical or mental ailments, which require constant medical attention or prevent them from executing military orders." It may be nothing more than a stylistic choice, but it's preferable, in my opinion.
    4. Conscientious objectors are those who, for religious or spiritual motivations, refuse to serve in the armed forces; Why limit this to just religious or spiritual motivations? Also, since clause six may duplicate GAR#132, this definition can probably be removed.
  2. AFFIRMS the right of member nations to conscript citizens of either sex in the manner prescribed by each nation's laws and regulations; "of either sex" seems out of place here. I'd honestly remove it, if I were you.
  3. CONFIRMS that each member nation can (I'd use "may" as opposed to "can" here) choose to not conscript its citizens.
  4. PROHIBITS forthwith all member nations and constituents therein from conscripting:
    1. minors or those above the age of fifty years; I'd replace "minors" with "those under the age of majority." Furthermore, fifty years seems a bit arbitrary and humanocentric. You could possibly solve this by saying something along the lines of "those who are dependant on another individual"
    2. non-citizens or diplomats;
    3. disabled persons;
    4. persons with dependants or children who cannot be relocated or protected if the aforementioned persons are absent.
  5. FURTHER PROHIBITS forthwith all nations and constituents therein from conscripting persons for a consecutive period of greater than four years; Perhaps it's not needed, but I'd clarify that, should the person choose to do so, they may serve more than four years - they just can't be forced to do so. This confusion pops up because of your use of the word "enlistment" in the definition of conscription, which, to my knowledge, has to do with the initial enrollment into the military (for lack of a better way to put it), as opposed to the entire time spent in the military.
    1. An exception is made for persons conscripted before wartime. In the event of a war, persons conscripted before the war who have not met the four-year maximum conscription period by the time war is declared shall have their conscription period reset so as to allow them to serve four years in the war;
    2. CLARIFIES that the individual member nation shall choose the period of conscription insofar as such period is under four years.
  6. REMINDS member nations to respect the views of conscientious objectors, and to avoid conscripting conscientious objectors except in cases of dire emergency;
    1. IMPLORES members nations to, if the conscription of conscientious objectors is deemed necessary, accord to such persons duties which do not involve them in violence or would not contradict their beliefs; This is where the issue of duplication of GAR#132 comes into play - specifically with GAR#132's clauses III:1 and III:2a.
  7. ENCOURAGES member nations to ensure the health, welfare, education, and employment of all servicemen and women upon completion of their tour of duty;
  8. CLARIFIES that this resolution does not apply to those who have voluntarily enlisted into the armed forces or militia(s) of their nation.

"Overall, ambassador, a skillfully executed proposal. I hope to see more from you in the future."

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Araraukar
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Postby Araraukar » Fri Jun 28, 2019 4:15 pm

OOC: I'm looking at 4.d. and thinking small nation, during wartime... why do you want them to lose the war?

Finland has universal draft of men and voluntary one of women (you can do civil service instead of military, if you want, but - and yes, yes, I know, Amnesty is bugging the state about this every now and then - if you basically say "nope, not gonna lift a finger" (for men, or women who've started military service and then had a re-think), you're going to serve the minimum duration (6 months, if I remember correctly) in prison instead), and the reason is basically that we're too small as a nation to have a standing army of professionals large enough to make a difference, so the only viable solution is to have the population serve as the army.

Once you've done your initial service (which can be as short as 6 months), you will be called to "reserve practice" things once in a while - without checking I can't quote you the exact time period - which basically serves as memory refreshment. If a war actually should break out somehow (basically only if someone invaded Finland), why should it matter if someone has kids or a stay-at-home spouse? It's not like the soldier wouldn't be more useful to their family by defending the nation (exceptions, of course, are made for people like doctors and firemen and whatnot), than sitting at home waiting for the enemy to roll over.

And if it's a situation where the nation's actual future existence was at stake, especially at the hands of an enemy well-known for not respecting human rights (yes, I'm looking at you, Russia, and you know very well why), why should a WA resolution ban the nation from calling _all_ citizens to help with the defence in any way they can, given that it's not a guarantee they would survive if they lost the war? There should probably be some exception made for those kinds of situations or total war or similar.
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Inhorto
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Postby Inhorto » Fri Jun 28, 2019 5:31 pm

Old Hope wrote:[-]

Thank you for bringing that to my attention. Any mention of conscientious objectors has been removed so as to not parrot or contradict previous resolutions.

Kenmoria wrote:[-]

Thank you for your comment. I have revised "minor" to "persons under the age of majority" and the year cap to "persons of advanced age."

Morover wrote:[-]

Thank you for your extensive comments, Morover! I have more or less applied all of your corrections, except the one about distinguishing sex. I believe it important for the legislation to clarify that the WA allows both genders to be conscripted.

Araraukar wrote:[-]

Thank you for your comment. The clause in question reads:
FURTHER PROHIBITS forthwith all nations and constituents therein from conscripting persons for a consecutive period of greater than four years;

The quote in question prohibits forcing the enlisted to serve for more than four years consecutively—not four years total. For example, if you live in a nation where you are conscripted from the age of 18 to 22, and a war breaks out when you are 34, you can still be called to serve. The only issue would be calling someone to serve for more than four years at one time.

EDIT: see this post
Last edited by Inhorto on Fri Jun 28, 2019 7:04 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Old Hope
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Tyranny by Majority

Postby Old Hope » Fri Jun 28, 2019 5:50 pm

Inhorto wrote:
Araraukar wrote:[-]

Thank you for your comment. The clause in question reads:
FURTHER PROHIBITS forthwith all nations and constituents therein from conscripting persons for a consecutive period of greater than four years;

The quote in question prohibits forcing the enlisted to serve for more than four years consecutively—not four years total. For example, if you live in a nation where you are conscripted from the age of 18 to 22, and a war breaks out when you are 34, you can still be called to serve. The only issue would be calling someone to serve for more than four years at one time.

We see a gigantic loophole...
Conscription: 4 years, then 1 day break, then 4 years, then... well you get it, right?
Last edited by Old Hope on Fri Jun 28, 2019 5:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Inhorto
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Postby Inhorto » Fri Jun 28, 2019 7:03 pm

Old Hope wrote:[-]

Thank you for point this out; this is something I never really considered. I have deleted "consecutively" in clause 5 and added the following clause:

REQUIRES that member nations forcibly recalling those who have already fulfilled the maximum service time in the manner described above only do so in times of war or grievous civil unrest;
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East Meranopirus
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Postby East Meranopirus » Sat Jun 29, 2019 12:21 am

I'm not sure what you're trying to do with clauses 2 and 3. Both of them are redundant in my opinion. I'm not sure if for clause 2, you're trying to say that conscription shouldn't be discriminated based on gender/sex, because that's the feeling I get, though it's not expressed very clearly.
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Araraukar
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Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Araraukar » Sat Jun 29, 2019 1:56 am

Inhorto wrote:
Araraukar wrote:OOC: I'm looking at 4.d.

Thank you for your comment. The clause in question reads:
FURTHER PROHIBITS forthwith all nations and constituents therein from conscripting persons for a consecutive period of greater than four years;

OOC: Actually, this is 4.d:
4. PROHIBITS forthwith all member nations and constituents therein from conscripting:
d. persons with dependants or children who cannot be relocated or protected if the aforementioned persons are absent.

You quoted main clause 5.
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Giovenith wrote:And sorry hun, if you were looking for a forum site where nobody argued, you've come to wrong one.
Araraukar wrote:
Blueflarst wrote:a cosmopolitan hammer
United Massachusetts wrote:Can we all call ourselves "cosmopolitan hammers"?
Us cosmopolitan hammers
Can teach some manners
Often sorely lacking
Hence us attacking
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Kenmoria
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Postby Kenmoria » Sat Jun 29, 2019 3:26 am

“I’m unsure as to why you define ‘free persons’. I understand that it is used in your definition of ‘conscription’, but there doesn’t seem to be much reason as to why only conscription of non-prisoners is dealt with by this proposal.”
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Kenmoria is Laissez-Faire on economy but centre-left on social issues
Located in Europe and border France to the right and Spain below
NS stats and policies are not canon, use the factbooks
Not in the WA despite coincidentally following nearly all resolutions
This is due to a problem with how the WA contradicts democracy
However we do have a WA mission and often participate in drafting
Current ambassador: James Lewitt

For more information, read the factbooks here.

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Bears Armed
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Postby Bears Armed » Sat Jun 29, 2019 6:42 am

Old Hope wrote:Please look at this already passed resolution:https://www.nationstates.net/page=WA_past_resolution/id=132/council=1

OOC: whose last line says that
5) This resolution shall not be construed to prohibit nor require the establishment of compulsory military service.


Kenmoria wrote:
Inhorto wrote:I was not sure what category to put this proposal under, so I put it under international security, though I did also consider civil rights. Any comments, critiques, and suggestions are very much appreciated!

(OOC: I believe this would fit better under civil rights, rather than international security.)

OOC: Civil Rights is definitely a better fit. For IS, you would have to explain how this would increase military spending -- a preamble clause something along the lines of 'Recognizes that limiting conscription might require increasing military pay noticeably in order to attract more voluntary recruits, or spending more on equipment and training in order to make those personnel that have been enlisted more effective," perhaps --and even then it would be arguable.
Last edited by Bears Armed on Sat Jun 29, 2019 6:44 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Inhorto
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Postby Inhorto » Sat Jun 29, 2019 8:16 am

Araraukar wrote:[-]

My apologies. To actually answer your question, the clause on dependants (it's now 4e after editing) applies only if the dependants cannot reasonably find shelter, financial support, domicile, etc., elsewhere. The key words are: "who cannot be relocated or protected if the aforementioned persons are absent." So in your example, a man could conceivably be sent to war, leaving his wife and child behind. In fact, a nation could send the wife as well if the child has grandparents or other close relatives that can take care of them in the meantime. In another scenario where a single father is caring for a child and that father has no next of kin, this resolution would protect that father from being conscripted into the nation's armed forces, for that child has no place to go.

East Meranopirus wrote:[-]

Thank you for your advice. On second thought, I have deleted the words "of either gender."

Bears Armed wrote:[-]

Thank you for your advice. If I might emphasis parts of the quote:
5) This resolution shall not be construed to prohibit nor require the establishment of compulsory military service.

The resolution is not legalizing or prohibiting compulsory military service. In fact, the sole purpose of this clause is to explicitly say that the resolution does not litigate the legality of conscription, which is the purpose of my legislation. If a resolution explicitly says that it does not comment on an issue of legislation, how can it be taken that any resolution that litigates that issue of legislation is in contract or is parroting that original resolution?
I have changed the category to civil rights.

Edits: fixing format.
Last edited by Inhorto on Sat Jun 29, 2019 8:17 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Morover
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Postby Morover » Sat Jun 29, 2019 8:19 am

"'Persons of advanced age' still sounds off to me. I still believe that combining clauses 4a and 4b to simply be 'individuals who are a dependent of another individual,' or something to that effect."

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Separatist Peoples
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Postby Separatist Peoples » Sat Jun 29, 2019 9:16 am

Inhorto wrote:PROHIBITS forthwith all member nations and constituents therein from conscripting:
  1. persons under the age of majority;
  2. persons of advanced age;
  3. non-citizens or diplomats;
  4. disabled persons;
  5. persons with dependants or children who cannot be relocated or protected if the aforementioned persons are absent.

"Rather than this awkward method of grouping similar classes of exemptions, perhaps:

  1. persons under the age of majority;
  2. noncitizens
  3. citizens exempted by operation of diplomatic service
  4. primary familial caregivers to children or adult dependents
  5. any other person physically or medically unfit for military service, notwithstanding gender or sex.
Last edited by Separatist Peoples on Sat Jun 29, 2019 9:16 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Inhorto
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Postby Inhorto » Sat Jun 29, 2019 9:18 am

Separatist Peoples wrote:[-]

I like this better, actually. I will still add the provisio that the dependants must be unable to find care elsewhere for the person to be exempt.
Last edited by Inhorto on Sat Jun 29, 2019 9:20 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Separatist Peoples
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Postby Separatist Peoples » Sat Jun 29, 2019 9:38 am

"Now, specific edits aside, let me see what can be cleaned up in this. You use a great deal of passive voice and unnecessary additions to sound formal, but much of it we can dispense."

Inhorto wrote:
The World Assembly,

IDENTIFYING the importance of standing armed forces in theMember's safety and security of many of the World Assembly's members;

ACKNOWLEDGING the difficulty of many nations without the proper necessity of recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing participants;

RECOGNIZING the historical importance of conscription as a vital component of military culture in many member states;

FURTHER RECOGNIZING the perdurable obligation of a citizenry to defend its nation during peace and war;

CONCERNED that systems of conscription may lead to mismanagement and abuses of power at the expense of the enlisted—particularly towards minors or elderly persons;

The World Assembly hereby,
  1. DEFINES for the purposes of this resolution:
    1. Conscription as the obligatory enlistment of free persons into a military or national militia during times of war or peace;
    2. Free persons as those who are not detained within a correctional facility during the conscription;
    3. Disabled persons as those with grievous or life-threatening physical or mental ailments that require constant medical attention or prevent them from executing orders;


"First thing, ambassador. You simply must use line breaks. Without formatting, this is a jumble of text. Second, your definition section need not be a bulleted list. Try:

"Conscription" is the obligatory enlistment of free persons into a military or national militia;
"Free persons" are those not detained within a correctional facility during conscription;
"Disabled persons" are those with grievous or life-threatening physical or mental ailments that require constant medical attention or prevent them from executing orders.

"Those would be three distinct lines. Your definition of disabled persons is extremely clumsy. Physical or medical unfitness for service should be sufficient. Thus, a drug addiction would be unfitness for service even if it had not yet impeded with the ability to execute orders."

  • AFFIRMS the right of member nations to conscript citizens in the manner prescribed by each nation's laws and regulations;
  • CONFIRMS that each member nation may choose to not conscript its citizens.


  • "You could readily dispense with both of these requirements in one sentence: Member states have sole discretion to implement conscription."

  • PROHIBITS forthwithall member nations and constituents thereinfrom conscripting:

  • "I already addressed the contents here, but lets strike some unnecessary words. You could probably just say "Members must exempt:" and continue with your list."
    FURTHER PROHIBITS[/b] forthwithall nations and constituents therein from conscripting persons for a period of greater longer than four years;
    1. Persons conscripted before the war who have not met the four-year maximum conscription period by the time war is declared shall must have their conscription period reset so as to allow them to serve four years in the war;
    2. Members may require Ppersons serving on naval vessels may be expected to involuntarily continue service after the four year limit has elapsed if there is no feasible manner with whichway to return suchsailors to friendly or home shore;



  • CLARIFIES that the individual member nation shall choose the period of conscription insofar as such period is under four years.

  • "This is just bad wording. In the previous clause, you could simply say that "Conscription periods may not exceed four years" and never have to clarify this outright."

  • CLARIFIES that this resolution does not interdictprevent servicemensoldiers from voluntarily consecutively serving afterbeyondthe maximum period of conscription has elapsed;


  • "Servicemen is a gendered term. Lets kill it off."

  • REQUIRES that member nations forcibly recalling those who have already fulfilled the maximum service time in the manner described above only do so in times of war or grievous civil unrest;


  • "Alternatively: "Members may not recall those who have satisfied their maximum obligation, except during declared war or serious domestic unrest." It's shorter and more clear."

  • ENCOURAGES member nationsto ensure the health, welfare, education, and employment of all servicemen and women soldiers upon completion of after their tour of duty;

  • "More invidious gendering."

  • CLARIFIES that this resolution does not apply to those who have voluntarily enlisted into their national armed forces or militia(s)of their nation.


  • "Stylistically, this is pretty bad. Legally, it has excellent policy goals and tends to execute them clearly. If you improve the style, you can almost certainly pass this."

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    Kenmoria
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    Postby Kenmoria » Sat Jun 29, 2019 9:39 am

    (OOC: I suggest adding line breaks between your active clauses, it makes the whole proposal look nicer and more readable.

    Code: Select all
    [align=center][size=150][b]On Conscription[/b][/size]
    Category: Civil Rights | Effect: Mild[/align][hr][/hr]

    The World Assembly,

    [b]IDENTIFYING[/b] the importance of standing armed forces in the safety and security of many of the World Assembly's members;

    [b]ACKNOWLEDGING[/b] the difficulty of many nations without the proper recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing participants;

    [b]RECOGNIZING[/b] the historical importance of conscription as a vital component of military culture in many member states;

    [b]FURTHER RECOGNIZING[/b] the perdurable obligation of a citizenry to defend its nation during peace and war;

    [b]CONCERNED[/b] that systems of conscription may lead to mismanagement and abuses of power at the expense of the enlisted—particularly towards minors or elderly persons;

    The World Assembly hereby,
    [list=1][*][b]DEFINES[/b] for the purposes of this resolution:
    [list=a]
    [*]Conscription as the obligatory enlistment of free persons into a military or national militia during times of war or peace;
    [*]Free persons as those who are not detained within a correctional facility during the conscription;
    [*]Disabled persons as those with grievous or life-threatening physical or mental ailments that require constant medical attention or prevent them from executing orders; [/list] [*][b]AFFIRMS[/b] the right of member nations to conscript citizens in the manner prescribed by each nation's laws and regulations;


    [*][b]CONFIRMS[/b] that each member nation may choose to not conscript its citizens.


    [*][b]PROHIBITS[/b] forthwith all member nations and constituents therein from conscripting: [list=a]
    [*]Persons under the age of majority;
    [*]Non-citizens;
    [*]Citizens exempted by operation of diplomatic service;
    [*]Disabled persons physically or medically unfit for military service, notwithstanding gender or sex;
    [*]Primary familial caregivers to children or adult dependents who cannot be relocated or protected if the aforementioned caregivers are absent; [/list]
    [*][b]FURTHER PROHIBITS[/b] forthwith all nations and constituents therein from conscripting persons for a period of greater than four years;
    [list=a][*]Persons conscripted before the war who have not met the four-year maximum conscription period by the time war is declared shall have their conscription period reset so as to allow them to serve four years in the war;
    [*]Persons serving on naval vessels may be expected to involuntarily continue service after the four year limit has elapsed if there is no feasible manner with which to return such sailors to friendly or home shore;
    [*][b]CLARIFIES[/b] that the individual member nation shall choose the period of conscription insofar as such period is under four years.
    [*][b]CLARIFIES[/b] that this resolution does not interdict servicemen from voluntarily consecutively serving after the maximum period of conscription has elapsed; [/list]
    [*][b]REQUIRES[/b] that member nations forcibly recalling those who have already fulfilled the maximum service time in the manner described above only do so in times of war or grievous civil unrest;


    [*][b]ENCOURAGES[/b] member nations to ensure the health, welfare, education, and employment of all servicemen and women upon completion of their tour of duty;


    [*][b]CLARIFIES[/b] that this resolution does not apply to those who have voluntarily enlisted into the armed forces or militia(s) of their nation. [/list]


    On Conscription
    Category: Civil Rights | Effect: Mild



    The World Assembly,

    IDENTIFYING the importance of standing armed forces in the safety and security of many of the World Assembly's members;

    ACKNOWLEDGING the difficulty of many nations without the proper recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing participants;

    RECOGNIZING the historical importance of conscription as a vital component of military culture in many member states;

    FURTHER RECOGNIZING the perdurable obligation of a citizenry to defend its nation during peace and war;

    CONCERNED that systems of conscription may lead to mismanagement and abuses of power at the expense of the enlisted—particularly towards minors or elderly persons;

    The World Assembly hereby,
    1. DEFINES for the purposes of this resolution:
      1. Conscription as the obligatory enlistment of free persons into a military or national militia during times of war or peace;
      2. Free persons as those who are not detained within a correctional facility during the conscription;
      3. Disabled persons as those with grievous or life-threatening physical or mental ailments that require constant medical attention or prevent them from executing orders;
    2. AFFIRMS the right of member nations to conscript citizens in the manner prescribed by each nation's laws and regulations;

    3. CONFIRMS that each member nation may choose to not conscript its citizens.

    4. PROHIBITS forthwith all member nations and constituents therein from conscripting:
      1. Persons under the age of majority;
      2. Non-citizens;
      3. Citizens exempted by operation of diplomatic service;
      4. Disabled persons physically or medically unfit for military service, notwithstanding gender or sex;
      5. Primary familial caregivers to children or adult dependents who cannot be relocated or protected if the aforementioned caregivers are absent;
    5. FURTHER PROHIBITS forthwith all nations and constituents therein from conscripting persons for a period of greater than four years;
      1. Persons conscripted before the war who have not met the four-year maximum conscription period by the time war is declared shall have their conscription period reset so as to allow them to serve four years in the war;
      2. Persons serving on naval vessels may be expected to involuntarily continue service after the four year limit has elapsed if there is no feasible manner with which to return such sailors to friendly or home shore;
      3. CLARIFIES that the individual member nation shall choose the period of conscription insofar as such period is under four years.
      4. CLARIFIES that this resolution does not interdict servicemen from voluntarily consecutively serving after the maximum period of conscription has elapsed;
    6. REQUIRES that member nations forcibly recalling those who have already fulfilled the maximum service time in the manner described above only do so in times of war or grievous civil unrest;

    7. ENCOURAGES member nations to ensure the health, welfare, education, and employment of all servicemen and women upon completion of their tour of duty;

    8. CLARIFIES that this resolution does not apply to those who have voluntarily enlisted into the armed forces or militia(s) of their nation.
    A representative democracy with a parliament of 535 seats
    Kenmoria is Laissez-Faire on economy but centre-left on social issues
    Located in Europe and border France to the right and Spain below
    NS stats and policies are not canon, use the factbooks
    Not in the WA despite coincidentally following nearly all resolutions
    This is due to a problem with how the WA contradicts democracy
    However we do have a WA mission and often participate in drafting
    Current ambassador: James Lewitt

    For more information, read the factbooks here.

    User avatar
    Separatist Peoples
    GA Secretariat
     
    Posts: 14429
    Founded: Feb 17, 2011
    Civil Rights Lovefest

    Postby Separatist Peoples » Sat Jun 29, 2019 9:40 am

    Kenmoria wrote:(OOC: I suggest adding line breaks between your active clauses, it makes the whole proposal look nicer and more readable.

    Code: Select all
    [align=center][size=150][b]On Conscription[/b][/size]
    Category: Civil Rights | Effect: Mild[/align][hr][/hr]

    The World Assembly,

    [b]IDENTIFYING[/b] the importance of standing armed forces in the safety and security of many of the World Assembly's members;

    [b]ACKNOWLEDGING[/b] the difficulty of many nations without the proper recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing participants;

    [b]RECOGNIZING[/b] the historical importance of conscription as a vital component of military culture in many member states;

    [b]FURTHER RECOGNIZING[/b] the perdurable obligation of a citizenry to defend its nation during peace and war;

    [b]CONCERNED[/b] that systems of conscription may lead to mismanagement and abuses of power at the expense of the enlisted—particularly towards minors or elderly persons;

    The World Assembly hereby,
    [list=1][*][b]DEFINES[/b] for the purposes of this resolution:
    [list=a]
    [*]Conscription as the obligatory enlistment of free persons into a military or national militia during times of war or peace;
    [*]Free persons as those who are not detained within a correctional facility during the conscription;
    [*]Disabled persons as those with grievous or life-threatening physical or mental ailments that require constant medical attention or prevent them from executing orders; [/list] [*][b]AFFIRMS[/b] the right of member nations to conscript citizens in the manner prescribed by each nation's laws and regulations;


    [*][b]CONFIRMS[/b] that each member nation may choose to not conscript its citizens.


    [*][b]PROHIBITS[/b] forthwith all member nations and constituents therein from conscripting: [list=a]
    [*]Persons under the age of majority;
    [*]Non-citizens;
    [*]Citizens exempted by operation of diplomatic service;
    [*]Disabled persons physically or medically unfit for military service, notwithstanding gender or sex;
    [*]Primary familial caregivers to children or adult dependents who cannot be relocated or protected if the aforementioned caregivers are absent; [/list]
    [*][b]FURTHER PROHIBITS[/b] forthwith all nations and constituents therein from conscripting persons for a period of greater than four years;
    [list=a][*]Persons conscripted before the war who have not met the four-year maximum conscription period by the time war is declared shall have their conscription period reset so as to allow them to serve four years in the war;
    [*]Persons serving on naval vessels may be expected to involuntarily continue service after the four year limit has elapsed if there is no feasible manner with which to return such sailors to friendly or home shore;
    [*][b]CLARIFIES[/b] that the individual member nation shall choose the period of conscription insofar as such period is under four years.
    [*][b]CLARIFIES[/b] that this resolution does not interdict servicemen from voluntarily consecutively serving after the maximum period of conscription has elapsed; [/list]
    [*][b]REQUIRES[/b] that member nations forcibly recalling those who have already fulfilled the maximum service time in the manner described above only do so in times of war or grievous civil unrest;


    [*][b]ENCOURAGES[/b] member nations to ensure the health, welfare, education, and employment of all servicemen and women upon completion of their tour of duty;


    [*][b]CLARIFIES[/b] that this resolution does not apply to those who have voluntarily enlisted into the armed forces or militia(s) of their nation. [/list]


    On Conscription
    Category: Civil Rights | Effect: Mild



    The World Assembly,

    IDENTIFYING the importance of standing armed forces in the safety and security of many of the World Assembly's members;

    ACKNOWLEDGING the difficulty of many nations without the proper recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing participants;

    RECOGNIZING the historical importance of conscription as a vital component of military culture in many member states;

    FURTHER RECOGNIZING the perdurable obligation of a citizenry to defend its nation during peace and war;

    CONCERNED that systems of conscription may lead to mismanagement and abuses of power at the expense of the enlisted—particularly towards minors or elderly persons;

    The World Assembly hereby,
    1. DEFINES for the purposes of this resolution:
      1. Conscription as the obligatory enlistment of free persons into a military or national militia during times of war or peace;
      2. Free persons as those who are not detained within a correctional facility during the conscription;
      3. Disabled persons as those with grievous or life-threatening physical or mental ailments that require constant medical attention or prevent them from executing orders;
    2. AFFIRMS the right of member nations to conscript citizens in the manner prescribed by each nation's laws and regulations;

    3. CONFIRMS that each member nation may choose to not conscript its citizens.

    4. PROHIBITS forthwith all member nations and constituents therein from conscripting:
      1. Persons under the age of majority;
      2. Non-citizens;
      3. Citizens exempted by operation of diplomatic service;
      4. Disabled persons physically or medically unfit for military service, notwithstanding gender or sex;
      5. Primary familial caregivers to children or adult dependents who cannot be relocated or protected if the aforementioned caregivers are absent;
    5. FURTHER PROHIBITS forthwith all nations and constituents therein from conscripting persons for a period of greater than four years;
      1. Persons conscripted before the war who have not met the four-year maximum conscription period by the time war is declared shall have their conscription period reset so as to allow them to serve four years in the war;
      2. Persons serving on naval vessels may be expected to involuntarily continue service after the four year limit has elapsed if there is no feasible manner with which to return such sailors to friendly or home shore;
      3. CLARIFIES that the individual member nation shall choose the period of conscription insofar as such period is under four years.
      4. CLARIFIES that this resolution does not interdict servicemen from voluntarily consecutively serving after the maximum period of conscription has elapsed;
    6. REQUIRES that member nations forcibly recalling those who have already fulfilled the maximum service time in the manner described above only do so in times of war or grievous civil unrest;

    7. ENCOURAGES member nations to ensure the health, welfare, education, and employment of all servicemen and women upon completion of their tour of duty;

    8. CLARIFIES that this resolution does not apply to those who have voluntarily enlisted into the armed forces or militia(s) of their nation.

    OOC: It's worth noting that line breaks add to the character count, but the extra readability is worth losing a few characters.

    His Worshipfulness Lord GA Secretariat,
    Authority on All Existence,
    Globalist Dog,
    Dark Psychic Vampire, and
    Chief Populist Elitist!


    User avatar
    Kenmoria
    Negotiator
     
    Posts: 5210
    Founded: Jul 03, 2017
    Corporate Bordello

    Postby Kenmoria » Sat Jun 29, 2019 9:47 am

    Separatist Peoples wrote:
    Kenmoria wrote:(OOC: I suggest adding line breaks between your active clauses, it makes the whole proposal look nicer and more readable.

    Code: Select all
    [align=center][size=150][b]On Conscription[/b][/size]
    Category: Civil Rights | Effect: Mild[/align][hr][/hr]

    The World Assembly,

    [b]IDENTIFYING[/b] the importance of standing armed forces in the safety and security of many of the World Assembly's members;

    [b]ACKNOWLEDGING[/b] the difficulty of many nations without the proper recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing participants;

    [b]RECOGNIZING[/b] the historical importance of conscription as a vital component of military culture in many member states;

    [b]FURTHER RECOGNIZING[/b] the perdurable obligation of a citizenry to defend its nation during peace and war;

    [b]CONCERNED[/b] that systems of conscription may lead to mismanagement and abuses of power at the expense of the enlisted—particularly towards minors or elderly persons;

    The World Assembly hereby,
    [list=1][*][b]DEFINES[/b] for the purposes of this resolution:
    [list=a]
    [*]Conscription as the obligatory enlistment of free persons into a military or national militia during times of war or peace;
    [*]Free persons as those who are not detained within a correctional facility during the conscription;
    [*]Disabled persons as those with grievous or life-threatening physical or mental ailments that require constant medical attention or prevent them from executing orders; [/list] [*][b]AFFIRMS[/b] the right of member nations to conscript citizens in the manner prescribed by each nation's laws and regulations;


    [*][b]CONFIRMS[/b] that each member nation may choose to not conscript its citizens.


    [*][b]PROHIBITS[/b] forthwith all member nations and constituents therein from conscripting: [list=a]
    [*]Persons under the age of majority;
    [*]Non-citizens;
    [*]Citizens exempted by operation of diplomatic service;
    [*]Disabled persons physically or medically unfit for military service, notwithstanding gender or sex;
    [*]Primary familial caregivers to children or adult dependents who cannot be relocated or protected if the aforementioned caregivers are absent; [/list]
    [*][b]FURTHER PROHIBITS[/b] forthwith all nations and constituents therein from conscripting persons for a period of greater than four years;
    [list=a][*]Persons conscripted before the war who have not met the four-year maximum conscription period by the time war is declared shall have their conscription period reset so as to allow them to serve four years in the war;
    [*]Persons serving on naval vessels may be expected to involuntarily continue service after the four year limit has elapsed if there is no feasible manner with which to return such sailors to friendly or home shore;
    [*][b]CLARIFIES[/b] that the individual member nation shall choose the period of conscription insofar as such period is under four years.
    [*][b]CLARIFIES[/b] that this resolution does not interdict servicemen from voluntarily consecutively serving after the maximum period of conscription has elapsed; [/list]
    [*][b]REQUIRES[/b] that member nations forcibly recalling those who have already fulfilled the maximum service time in the manner described above only do so in times of war or grievous civil unrest;


    [*][b]ENCOURAGES[/b] member nations to ensure the health, welfare, education, and employment of all servicemen and women upon completion of their tour of duty;


    [*][b]CLARIFIES[/b] that this resolution does not apply to those who have voluntarily enlisted into the armed forces or militia(s) of their nation. [/list]


    On Conscription
    Category: Civil Rights | Effect: Mild



    The World Assembly,

    IDENTIFYING the importance of standing armed forces in the safety and security of many of the World Assembly's members;

    ACKNOWLEDGING the difficulty of many nations without the proper recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing participants;

    RECOGNIZING the historical importance of conscription as a vital component of military culture in many member states;

    FURTHER RECOGNIZING the perdurable obligation of a citizenry to defend its nation during peace and war;

    CONCERNED that systems of conscription may lead to mismanagement and abuses of power at the expense of the enlisted—particularly towards minors or elderly persons;

    The World Assembly hereby,
    1. DEFINES for the purposes of this resolution:
      1. Conscription as the obligatory enlistment of free persons into a military or national militia during times of war or peace;
      2. Free persons as those who are not detained within a correctional facility during the conscription;
      3. Disabled persons as those with grievous or life-threatening physical or mental ailments that require constant medical attention or prevent them from executing orders;
    2. AFFIRMS the right of member nations to conscript citizens in the manner prescribed by each nation's laws and regulations;

    3. CONFIRMS that each member nation may choose to not conscript its citizens.

    4. PROHIBITS forthwith all member nations and constituents therein from conscripting:
      1. Persons under the age of majority;
      2. Non-citizens;
      3. Citizens exempted by operation of diplomatic service;
      4. Disabled persons physically or medically unfit for military service, notwithstanding gender or sex;
      5. Primary familial caregivers to children or adult dependents who cannot be relocated or protected if the aforementioned caregivers are absent;
    5. FURTHER PROHIBITS forthwith all nations and constituents therein from conscripting persons for a period of greater than four years;
      1. Persons conscripted before the war who have not met the four-year maximum conscription period by the time war is declared shall have their conscription period reset so as to allow them to serve four years in the war;
      2. Persons serving on naval vessels may be expected to involuntarily continue service after the four year limit has elapsed if there is no feasible manner with which to return such sailors to friendly or home shore;
      3. CLARIFIES that the individual member nation shall choose the period of conscription insofar as such period is under four years.
      4. CLARIFIES that this resolution does not interdict servicemen from voluntarily consecutively serving after the maximum period of conscription has elapsed;
    6. REQUIRES that member nations forcibly recalling those who have already fulfilled the maximum service time in the manner described above only do so in times of war or grievous civil unrest;

    7. ENCOURAGES member nations to ensure the health, welfare, education, and employment of all servicemen and women upon completion of their tour of duty;

    8. CLARIFIES that this resolution does not apply to those who have voluntarily enlisted into the armed forces or militia(s) of their nation.

    OOC: It's worth noting that line breaks add to the character count, but the extra readability is worth losing a few characters.

    (OOC: The proposal is currently on a bit over three thousand so, notwithstanding a possible large increase in length, there should be enough room.)
    A representative democracy with a parliament of 535 seats
    Kenmoria is Laissez-Faire on economy but centre-left on social issues
    Located in Europe and border France to the right and Spain below
    NS stats and policies are not canon, use the factbooks
    Not in the WA despite coincidentally following nearly all resolutions
    This is due to a problem with how the WA contradicts democracy
    However we do have a WA mission and often participate in drafting
    Current ambassador: James Lewitt

    For more information, read the factbooks here.

    User avatar
    Inhorto
    Spokesperson
     
    Posts: 112
    Founded: Jun 27, 2019
    Ex-Nation

    Postby Inhorto » Sat Jun 29, 2019 10:21 am

    Separatist Peoples wrote:[-]

    Wow! Thank you very much for your constructive edits. I have implemented almost all of them. I have one question about an edit:
    ACKNOWLEDGING the difficulty of many nations without the proper recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing participants;

    You suggest I rephrase as: "the necessity of recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing participants." I believe that this rephrasing bastardizes the original meaning, as the point of this clause is to illustrate that many nations rely on conscription because they lack the proper recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing recruits. Was that original meaning unclear?
    conlanger | bibliophile | Potterhead | NS Parliament: Eloise Eliasson of the NPP

    "Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open." — Albus Dumbledore

    User avatar
    Separatist Peoples
    GA Secretariat
     
    Posts: 14429
    Founded: Feb 17, 2011
    Civil Rights Lovefest

    Postby Separatist Peoples » Sat Jun 29, 2019 10:24 am

    Inhorto wrote:
    Separatist Peoples wrote:[-]

    Wow! Thank you very much for your constructive edits. I have implemented almost all of them. I have one question about an edit:
    ACKNOWLEDGING the difficulty of many nations without the proper recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing participants;

    You suggest I rephrase as: "the necessity of recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing participants." I believe that this rephrasing bastardizes the original meaning, as the point of this clause is to illustrate that many nations rely on conscription because they lack the proper recruitment infrastructure to enlist willing recruits. Was that original meaning unclear?

    "Extremely, ambassador. I suggest that you find the shortest, clearest way of expressing your point and then take out any word that isn't strictly necessary."

    His Worshipfulness Lord GA Secretariat,
    Authority on All Existence,
    Globalist Dog,
    Dark Psychic Vampire, and
    Chief Populist Elitist!


    User avatar
    Inhorto
    Spokesperson
     
    Posts: 112
    Founded: Jun 27, 2019
    Ex-Nation

    Postby Inhorto » Sat Jun 29, 2019 10:28 am

    Separatist Peoples wrote:"Extremely, ambassador. I suggest that you find the shortest, clearest way of expressing your point and then take out any word that isn't strictly necessary."

    "I see. I have resolved to delete the clause in question. Thank you once more for your critiques."
    conlanger | bibliophile | Potterhead | NS Parliament: Eloise Eliasson of the NPP

    "Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open." — Albus Dumbledore

    User avatar
    La Montevideo
    Political Columnist
     
    Posts: 2
    Founded: Jun 29, 2019
    Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

    Postby La Montevideo » Sat Jun 29, 2019 1:56 pm

    But Aren't You Forgetting About The National Security?

    User avatar
    Kenmoria
    Negotiator
     
    Posts: 5210
    Founded: Jul 03, 2017
    Corporate Bordello

    Postby Kenmoria » Sat Jun 29, 2019 2:00 pm

    La Montevideo wrote:But Aren't You Forgetting About The National Security?

    (OOC: The draft explicitly permits conscription, and lots of the groups that are prohibited from conscription wouldn’t be of much use anyway: the disabled, elderly, children and sick. Only those that have dependents could fight just as well, and the war effort would still be helped by the populace being looked after by them.)
    A representative democracy with a parliament of 535 seats
    Kenmoria is Laissez-Faire on economy but centre-left on social issues
    Located in Europe and border France to the right and Spain below
    NS stats and policies are not canon, use the factbooks
    Not in the WA despite coincidentally following nearly all resolutions
    This is due to a problem with how the WA contradicts democracy
    However we do have a WA mission and often participate in drafting
    Current ambassador: James Lewitt

    For more information, read the factbooks here.

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