Danera wrote:First draft of my proposal on Incarceration & Punitive Justice. Thoughts?
Category: Civil Rights
Strength: Significant
CONCERNED by the state of prisons and other incarceration-directed institutions that are created in essentia for the punishment of those who do not abide by a country's law
See GA#166
BELIEVING that the State and Government should take in account the reasons behind a minor crime as they can be justifiable
A crime is still a crime no matter why it was committed
RECOGNIZING the fact that the poor are more prone to resorting to a life of crime than those who are privileged by the system
AWARE of the fact that truly dangerous members of the society may cause further issues in the future after being released
Fair enough
HEREBY ESTABLISHES that every nation-member must abide to these laws:
1. Rehabilitative justice must be used as first resort so one could more easily leave the "life of crime" they once entered.
a) The State must provide services specialized for those rehabilitated to avoid relapse IF needed. As examples, Welfare programs for rehabilitated criminals in precarious situations or psychological service for people with mental health problems
GA#140
2. Punitive justice shall not be erased from a nation's system unless it is the wish of such nation's internal system. Imprisonment, it being at private-owned or public-owned prisons, shall not be created with the objective of being a punition, nor degrade an imprisoned to the point of psychological damage.
Seems OK to me
3. Rehabilitative justice may not be used only for those who committed minor crimes, but for all criminals unless the government decides that certains heinous crimes make one not eligible for rehabilitation.
You should define a heinous crime in the start of the resolution not in clause 4
a) People with criminal desires shall be able to request the state for a mental health professional and/or a preemptive rehabilitative system
c) For those with aggravations (that extends but is not limited mass murder, public murder and etc), the rehabilitative programs shan't be offered.
B is missing
a) A heinous crime is here defined by anything that hurts the right to life or body autonomy that one or a group posseses as a sentient being, and that extends but is not limited to Mental or Physical Abuse, Torture, Murder and so on.
Define this in a separate clause in the start, it really helps
b) A nation can, if it chooses to, have laws that lower the penalty of someone who committed a heinous crime and requested for rehabilitation unless such person has already committed such crimes, that is to say, if they have criminal records.
So a nation cannot lower the punishment of a person with a criminal record even if it wants to?
5. Rehabilitation shall be obligatory for one after they committed a crime and if refused by the lawbreaker, a nation should follow the article 1b instructions.
Unnecessary repetition
a) Rehabilitation should be priority for those with aextended list of criminal records.
Grammar error: an not a
b) This does not apply for heinous crimes a nation chooses to offer no rehabilitative program for.
Uneeded repetition
c) A nation can choose to offer rehabilitative programs only for those with extended criminal records.
This either contradicts clause 1 or you worded it in a way that does
6. If a person who hasn't committed any crime but entered the rehabilitative program by their own will wishes to stop the program, the right shall be granted
Irrelevant to the topic of the resolution
This has many mistakes and the writer should consider fixing them before submitting