[Abandoned] C.H.O.P.IN. (Helping the musical arts)

[Columbia-Dixie]

Category: Education and Creativity
Area of Effect: Artistic


Noting that music often is described as an epitome of human expression and the effect of music in bringing people together,

Observing the World Assembly’s mission to further international relationships,

(Understanding that music is a universal language, and truly the greatest of the arts,)

Seeking to further the World Assembly’s presence in the arts,

The World Assembly hereby:

1)Creates the Committee for Helping Orchestras Philharmonics Internationally, also to be known as the C.H.O.P.IN. organization, and tasks it with:
A) presiding over the encouragement of musicians internationally and the creation of events to bring musical groups of member nations together to further international relationships.
B) recognizing international musicians and their contributions to the arts in their nation and internationally,
C) aiding the establishment and preservation of musical groups internationally through means including but not limited to assistance in the acquisition of support for groups through campaign and the training of professional musicians to create and/or reinforce musical groups,
D) organizing events such as concerts to bring together the music talents of member states in a way to further the musical arts and international relationships.

2)Encourages member nations to seek involvement in these events and to further the musical arts in their nations,

3)Authorizes the Committee to collect funds and resources from:
A)voluntary donations from member nations and private individuals from member nations

[Columbia-Dixie]

I had help from Justa and Wallenburg on writing this. I don’t know how specifically I am to accredit them.

[Jutsa]

OOC: The formatting made the draft look a lot better on google docs, have to admit.

No need to credit me, I did very little.

[Altion]

Not in the WA yet, but this draft seems incredibly anthropocentric. What about deaf people? Or species that have bad or nonexistent hearing?

[Kenmoria]

“What is the category and strength of this proposal? These things should be on the draft somewhere. On a personal note, this seems like a non-issue for the WA, as it is an international organisation concerned with large-scale problems.”

[Wallenburg]

On the listing, I suggest you put your clauses in something like this:

1. This is a clause in a list.
   
   
2. This is another clause.
   
   
   1. This is a subclause.
      
      
   2. These are nested inside the bigger list.
3. Yet another clause.
   
   
   1. You can have multiple lists nested inside other lists.
4. Also note the spacing between the lines. People like this spacing.

Code: Select all

[list=1][*]This is a clause in a list.


[*]This is another clause.

[list=a][*]This is a subclause.


[*]These are nested inside the bigger list.[/list]
[*]Yet another clause.

[list=a][*]You can have multiple lists nested inside other lists.[/list]
[*]Also note the spacing between the lines. People like this spacing.[/list]

[Liberimery]

Not in the WA yet, but this draft seems incredibly anthropocentric. What about deaf people? Or species that have bad or nonexistent hearing?

Deaf people often enjoy music as well. Mostly music with a loud bass as they can "feel" it. And let's not forget Beethoven's 9th Symphony, which was written and first performed by a deaf man.

[Jutsa]

"Not to mention the creation of sheet music. Though I find music itself much more desirable, sheet music in of itself is a musical artform one can visualize and perform in one's own head."

[Columbia-Dixie]

“What is the category and strength of this proposal? These things should be on the draft somewhere. On a personal note, this seems like a non-issue for the WA, as it is an international organisation concerned with large-scale problems.”

Sorry. I was in a bit of a hurry early. Once I have the time to sit down the information will be included

[Columbia-Dixie]

On the listing, I suggest you put your clauses in something like this:

1. This is a clause in a list.
   
   
2. This is another clause.
   
   
   1. This is a subclause.
      
      
   2. These are nested inside the bigger list.
3. Yet another clause.
   
   
   1. You can have multiple lists nested inside other lists.
4. Also note the spacing between the lines. People like this spacing.

Code: Select all

[list=1][*]This is a clause in a list.


[*]This is another clause.

[list=a][*]This is a subclause.


[*]These are nested inside the bigger list.[/list]
[*]Yet another clause.

[list=a][*]You can have multiple lists nested inside other lists.[/list]
[*]Also note the spacing between the lines. People like this spacing.[/list]

I am on mobile and having trouble setting it like that. I when I post it to the wa I’ll try to get it in a neat format

[Merni]

OOC: Some grammar and other minor changes.

Noting that music often is described as an epitome of human expression and the effect of music in bringing people together,

That seems very anthropocentric indeed, and the wording is a bit confusing. Also, "often is" should be changed to "is often", and it's usually "the epitome" and not "an epitome". Maybe it should be split into two clauses, something similar to this:

Noting that music is often described as the epitome of human expression,
Also noting the effect of music in bringing people together,

Observing the World Assembly’s mission to further international relationships,
[...]
Seeking to further the World Assembly’s presence in the arts,

The World Assembly hereby:

Since "The World Assembly" is already the subject of the sentence, I think those two clauses should use "its" rather than "the World Assembly's".

C) aiding the establishment and preservation of musical groups internationally through means including but not limited to assistance in the acquisition of support for groups through campaign and the training of professional musicians to create and/or reinforce musical groups,
D) organizing events such as concerts to bring together the music talents of member states in a way to further the musical arts and international relationships.

These clauses are long and confusing, and should probably be rewritten.

2)Encourages member nations to seek involvement in these events and to further the musical arts in their nations,

"Seek involvement" is not a very nice phrase here. Maybe "encourage participation" or "promote these events"?

3)Authorizes the Committee to collect funds and resources from:
A)voluntary donations from member nations and private individuals from member nations

That doesn't need to have a subclause. Also, "member nations" need not be mentioned again. The clause could be changed to the following:

3. Authorises the Committee to collect voluntary donations from member nations and individuals.

Also, using the list tag would undoubtedly make this look a lot nicer.

[Araraukar]

OOC: So it creates a committee and encourages nations to play with the committee? How is that not a rules violation?

EDIT: For the newbie author: the proposal should make the nations do something, instead of just saying "look if you find anything fun in the list of the things the committee does".

With a title like "Helping the musical arts" (ignoring the cutesy spelled nonsense, ecen though I quite like Chopin's music) I fully expected nations to be required to include music in general education, and being encouraged to support musically gifted individuals, and possibly then, as an afterthought, have something to do with international anything, whether a committee or event.

A very specific committee, such as this, should never be the main aim of a resolution.

[The Sheika]

OOC: So it creates a committee and encourages nations to play with the committee? How is that not a rules violation?

EDIT: For the newbie author: the proposal should make the nations do something, instead of just saying "look if you find anything fun in the list of the things the committee does".

With a title like "Helping the musical arts" (ignoring the cutesy spelled nonsense, ecen though I quite like Chopin's music) I fully expected nations to be required to include music in general education, and being encouraged to support musically gifted individuals, and possibly then, as an afterthought, have something to do with international anything, whether a committee or event.

A very specific committee, such as this, should never be the main aim of a resolution.

OOC: ^ This.

When the draft was first posted, I took a quick look at it but didn't really see anything that I would be for or against. However, when I saw the acronym used I had almost wondered if that toed the line, or outright crossed it, on a real-world reference. I would comment more about it basically being a committee, but I think what needs to be said has already been stated.

[Araraukar]

However, when I saw the acronym used I had almost wondered if that toed the line, or outright crossed it, on a real-world reference.

OOC: That too, since it's a specifc RL name.

[Bears Armed]

OOC
Precedent actually says that acronyms which "coincidentally" [from an IC viewpoint] happen to spell out the names of RL entities are allowed (ruling made when the GA Resolution #76 ‘Standardised Passport Act’ was in progress, re ‘G.E.S.T.A.P.O.’, if not earlier…), as long as they aren't also the names of NS nations/regions/organisations (one passed resolution had 'U.N.I.B.O.T.'; this ruling was made as a result...).

[Jutsa]

OOC: UNIBOT?

[Wallenburg]

OOC
Precedent actually says that acronyms which "coincidentally" [from an IC viewpoint] happen to spell out the names of RL entities are allowed (ruling made when the GA Resolution #76 ‘Standardised Passport Act’ was in progress, re ‘G.E.S.T.A.P.O.’, if not earlier…), as long as they aren't also the names of NS nations/regions/organisations (one passed resolution had 'U.N.I.B.O.T.'; this ruling was made as a result...).

I see, I wasn't sure about that. Good to know that such acronyms are fine by the RL reference rule, but that they can still violate the branding rule.

[The Sheika]

OOC
Precedent actually says that acronyms which "coincidentally" [from an IC viewpoint] happen to spell out the names of RL entities are allowed (ruling made when the GA Resolution #76 ‘Standardised Passport Act’ was in progress, re ‘G.E.S.T.A.P.O.’, if not earlier…), as long as they aren't also the names of NS nations/regions/organisations (one passed resolution had 'U.N.I.B.O.T.'; this ruling was made as a result...).

OOC: Good to know, thank you for the clarification.

[Bears Armed]

OOC
To clarify, the same rule applies for using acrostics in proposals as well. (Modly ruling made 'when Promotion of Bee-keeping' was being drafted.)

[Snoburg]

(Understanding that music is a universal language, and truly the greatest of the arts,)

Thats very biased and opinionated language for a law

[Unibot III]

OOC: UNIBOT?

A glorious institution, unfairly besmirched.

[Wallenburg]

(Understanding that music is a universal language, and truly the greatest of the arts,)

Thats very biased and opinionated language for a law

Doesn't stop it from being true.

[Bears Armed]

Thats very biased and opinionated language for a law

Doesn't stop it from being true.

Agreed.
(And this nation has just reached #26 in all NS for 'Most Cultured'!)

[Imperium Anglorum]

The above is profoundly biased against deaf people. Insert Ableism K here.

[Araraukar]

OOC: A re-coding for your proposal to make it appear more professional, no word content changed, beyond adding the title that actually fits the number of spaces allowed by the submission form, and removing the subclause from clause 3, since there's no reason to have one if you only have one.

Code: Select all

[box]Helping the musical arts

Category: Education and Creativity
Area of Effect: Artistic

Noting that music often is described as an epitome of human expression and the effect of music in bringing people together,

Observing the World Assembly’s mission to further international relationships,

(Understanding that music is a universal language, and truly the greatest of the arts,)

Seeking to further the World Assembly’s presence in the arts,

The World Assembly hereby:

1) Creates the Committee for Helping Orchestras Philharmonics Internationally, also to be known as the C.H.O.P.IN. organization, and tasks it with:
[list=A][*]presiding over the encouragement of musicians internationally and the creation of events to bring musical groups of member nations together to further international relationships.
[*]recognizing international musicians and their contributions to the arts in their nation and internationally,
[*]aiding the establishment and preservation of musical groups internationally through means including but not limited to assistance in the acquisition of support for groups through campaign and the training of professional musicians to create and/or reinforce musical groups,
[*]organizing events such as concerts to bring together the music talents of member states in a way to further the musical arts and international relationships.[/list]

2) Encourages member nations to seek involvement in these events and to further the musical arts in their nations,

3) Authorizes the Committee to collect funds and resources from voluntary donations from member nations and private individuals from member nations[/box]

That coding makes it look like this:

Helping the musical arts

Category: Education and Creativity
Area of Effect: Artistic

Noting that music often is described as an epitome of human expression and the effect of music in bringing people together,

Observing the World Assembly’s mission to further international relationships,

(Understanding that music is a universal language, and truly the greatest of the arts,)

Seeking to further the World Assembly’s presence in the arts,

The World Assembly hereby:

1) Creates the Committee for Helping Orchestras Philharmonics Internationally, also to be known as the C.H.O.P.IN. organization, and tasks it with:

1. presiding over the encouragement of musicians internationally and the creation of events to bring musical groups of member nations together to further international relationships.
2. recognizing international musicians and their contributions to the arts in their nation and internationally,
3. aiding the establishment and preservation of musical groups internationally through means including but not limited to assistance in the acquisition of support for groups through campaign and the training of professional musicians to create and/or reinforce musical groups,
4. organizing events such as concerts to bring together the music talents of member states in a way to further the musical arts and international relationships.

2) Encourages member nations to seek involvement in these events and to further the musical arts in their nations,

3) Authorizes the Committee to collect funds and resources from voluntary donations from member nations and private individuals from member nations

If you want to use it, click the "select all" in the code box, and then copypaste it into the first post, possibly spoilering the draft you have up now.

OOC
Precedent actually says that acronyms which "coincidentally", as long as they aren't also the names of NS nations/regions/organisations.

Does that extend to proposal titles? The ones you mentioned don't use it in the proposal title.