NationStates

Jebslund wrote:Withdraw it and draft it here. I can already tell you you've broken the Formatting rule. You will also want to have a gander at these threads. Expect drafting to take at least a week, typically longer, to get the feedback to put it in proper shape.

Da Rulez, Timmy
Those resolutions that have passed before.

In its present form, your proposal is illegal for the following reasons:

Proposal Formatting: This may sound a bit counter-intuitive, but proposals need to be written in the form of resolutions, not proposals. In other words, they need to be written as the laws they will be once passed, not as suggestions to be implemented in the future.

Optionality: Resolutions apply to all member-nations or none. There is no opting out.

Meta-Gaming: If you mean regions such as NS Regions, and not regions as in areas of the world, then it is a violation of the Meta-Gaming rule to mention them in a proposal. Gameside things in general are verboten unless you are referring to them in a non-game-related way.

Bears Armed wrote:

Jebslund wrote:Withdraw it and draft it here. I can already tell you you've broken the Formatting rule. You will also want to have a gander at these threads. Expect drafting to take at least a week, typically longer, to get the feedback to put it in proper shape.

Da Rulez, Timmy
Those resolutions that have passed before.

In its present form, your proposal is illegal for the following reasons:

Proposal Formatting: This may sound a bit counter-intuitive, but proposals need to be written in the form of resolutions, not proposals. In other words, they need to be written as the laws they will be once passed, not as suggestions to be implemented in the future.

Optionality: Resolutions apply to all member-nations or none. There is no opting out.

Meta-Gaming: If you mean regions such as NS Regions, and not regions as in areas of the world, then it is a violation of the Meta-Gaming rule to mention them in a proposal. Gameside things in general are verboten unless you are referring to them in a non-game-related way.

Committee Rule: You don't get to specify membership for WA committees.

Imperium Anglorum wrote:What was the proposal?

And if you want to talk about a world food programme, we already passed Food Welfare Act. There may unfortunately be contradiction or duplication with that.

Plan for a world food program

A resolution to modify universal standards of healthcare.


Category: Health

Area of Effect: International Aid

Proposed by: Socialist States of the World


Plan for a world food program.
Section 1: Outline
Section 1.1: Purpose
The purpose of this plan is to supply food for the world’s hungry.
Section 1.2: Funding
This program will be funded by a four way program: Nations supplying to money (to pay for food, transportation of the food, and other necessary costs), farms, shops, and other food distribution areas will be required to donate excess food to local food program dispensaries, private funders supplying funds, and fundraising for the program through grassroot means.
Section 1.3: Localities:
Each town or district (for sparsely populated areas) will have a dispensary for people to make food donations or for people to pick up food. This will be mandated. These localities can be in office buildings or in set-up canvases.
Section 2: Legalities
Section 2.1 local laws
If a nation outlaws mass-scale welfare programs, like in anarcho-capitalist or egoist societies, then the nation may exempt themselves from the program, via a popular vote. This vote must have at least 70% support from the population, and the remaining percent of people (if the vote does pass) must be allowed to access this program at embassies, international zones, airports, and other areas where people may access the food program.
Section 2.2: Regional laws
A region may not kick, de-rank, or punish a member nation, in any way, for accepting funds from this program. As a reminder, a nation must have 70% support from its population to refuse funds, but the funds can still go to it’s people.
Section 2.3: International laws:
This will form a new council to help enforce rules of this document and to carry out the mission statement of the program
Section 3: International council
Section 3.1 Outline for the council
This council will be represented by a national ambassador and regional ambassador. This council will make rules for the program and enforce the program. The ambassador may be appointed by national/regional vote or an appointment.
Section 4: Path to start
Section 4:1: Forming of the council
The council for the food program must be formed and all members must be sworn in apon 200 days after the passing of the resolution. A nation/region must have an ambassador ready to be sworn in at the date.
Section 4:2 Starting the program
All private food charities must become part of this program, but they can retain their name but must be a satellite to the program.
Section 4:3 Official start of the program
The program must be ready to start distributing food no later than 730 days after the signing of this document.

Socialist States of the World wrote:Ok so here is the current bill, what is wrong with it?

Section 1: Outline
Section 1.1: Purpose
The purpose of this plan is to supply food for the world’s hungry.
Section 1.2: Funding
This program will be funded by a four way program: Nations supplying to money (to pay for food, transportation of the food, and other necessary costs), farms, shops, and other food distribution areas will be required to donate excess food to local food program dispensaries, private funders supplying funds, and fundraising for the program through grassroot means.
Section 1.3: Localities:
Each town or district (for sparsely populated areas) will have a dispensary for people to make food donations or for people to pick up food. This will be mandated. These localities can be in office buildings or in set-up canvases.
Section 2: Legalities
Section 2.1 Local laws
This document applies to all nations that are apart of the WA.
Section 2.2: Regional laws
A region may not kick, de-rank, or punish a member nation, in any way, for accepting funds from this program.
Section 2.3: International laws:
This Program will be managed by the WA General Assembly. If amendments are necessary then the WA will make those changes on there terms.
Section 3: Starting of the program.
Section 3:1 Starting the program
All private food charities must become part of this program, but they can retain their name but must be a satellite to the program.
Section 3:2 Official start of the program
The program must be ready to start distributing food no later than 730 days after the signing of this document.

Grays Harbor wrote:Category Rule.

Araraukar wrote:

Grays Harbor wrote:Category Rule.

OOC: Guessing attempting to repeal without using repeal function?

Grays Harbor wrote:

Araraukar wrote:OOC: Guessing attempting to repeal without using repeal function?

You’d have to ask CD about that. I just posted his ruling. The others were discussed by Bears, above. But at a guess, probably.

...
Section 2.2: Regional laws
A region may not kick, de-rank, or punish a member nation, in any way, for accepting funds from this program.
...

Araraukar wrote:

Grays Harbor wrote:Category Rule.

OOC: Guessing attempting to repeal without using repeal function?

Socialist States of the World wrote:Ok so here is the current bill, what is wrong with it?
Section 1: Outline
Section 1.1: Purpose
The purpose of this plan is to supply food for the world’s hungry.
Section 1.2: Funding
This program will be funded by a four way program: Nations supplying to money (to pay for food, transportation of the food, and other necessary costs), farms, shops, and other food distribution areas will be required to donate excess food to local food program dispensaries, private funders supplying funds, and fundraising for the program through grassroot means.
Section 1.3: Localities:
Each town or district (for sparsely populated areas) will have a dispensary for people to make food donations or for people to pick up food. This will be mandated. These localities can be in office buildings or in set-up canvases.
Section 2: Legalities
Section 2.1 Local laws
This document applies to all nations that are apart of the WA.
Section 2.2: Regional laws
A region may not kick, de-rank, or punish a member nation, in any way, for accepting funds from this program.
Section 2.3: International laws:
This Program will be managed by the WA General Assembly. If amendments are necessary then the WA will make those changes on there terms.
Section 3: Starting of the program.
Section 3:1 Starting the program
All private food charities must become part of this program, but they can retain their name but must be a satellite to the program.
Section 3:2 Official start of the program
The program must be ready to start distributing food no later than 730 days after the signing of this document.

Socialist States of the World wrote:Ok, here is a new version of the bill.
Plan for a world food program.
Section 1: Outline
Section 1.1: Purpose
This law is to run a World Food Program. All members of the WA must supply funds and accept food from this program. Get rid of the first sentence, and name the program as part of the second. Also, seriously, look over previous resolutions for formatting and conventions.
Section 1.2: Funding
This program is funded by a four way program: Nations supplying to money (to pay for food, transportation of the food, and other necessary costs), farms, shops, and other food distribution areas will be required to donate excess food to local food program dispensaries, private funders supplying funds, and fundraising for the program through grassroot means.
Section 1.3: Localities:
Each town or district (for sparsely populated areas) will have a dispensary for people to make food donations or for people to pick up food. This is mandated. These localities can be in office buildings or in set-up canvases.
Section 2: Legalities
Section 2.1 Local laws
This document applies to all nations that are apart of the WA. In order to take part in this program, a nation must join the WA in order to receive funds. Section 1.2 applies to new members. "A part" is the words you are looking for in the sense your are trying to use 'apart'. Just a grammar thing. As to the meat of the matter, Everything after the first sentence isn't really needed here, though, unless you are trying to restrict receiving aid to WA nations (which you can, but don't need to, do. There's nothing saying you can't require WA nations to help non-WA nations if the latter ask. What the rule against making mandates on non-WA nations means is that you can't require Non-WA nations to do anything).
Section 3: Starting of the program.
Section 3:1 Starting the program
All private food charities must become part of this program (based in nations in the WA) but they can retain their name but must be a satellite to the program.

Jebslund wrote:

Socialist States of the World wrote:Ok, here is a new version of the bill.
Plan for a world food program.
Section 1: Outline
Section 1.1: Purpose
This law is to run a World Food Program. All members of the WA must supply funds and accept food from this program. Get rid of the first sentence, and name the program as part of the second. Also, seriously, look over previous resolutions for formatting and conventions.
Section 1.2: Funding
This program is funded by a four way program: Nations supplying to money (to pay for food, transportation of the food, and other necessary costs), farms, shops, and other food distribution areas will be required to donate excess food to local food program dispensaries, private funders supplying funds, and fundraising for the program through grassroot means.
Section 1.3: Localities:
Each town or district (for sparsely populated areas) will have a dispensary for people to make food donations or for people to pick up food. This is mandated. These localities can be in office buildings or in set-up canvases.
Section 2: Legalities
Section 2.1 Local laws
This document applies to all nations that are apart of the WA. In order to take part in this program, a nation must join the WA in order to receive funds. Section 1.2 applies to new members. "A part" is the words you are looking for in the sense your are trying to use 'apart'. Just a grammar thing. As to the meat of the matter, Everything after the first sentence isn't really needed here, though, unless you are trying to restrict receiving aid to WA nations (which you can, but don't need to, do. There's nothing saying you can't require WA nations to help non-WA nations if the latter ask. What the rule against making mandates on non-WA nations means is that you can't require Non-WA nations to do anything).
Section 3: Starting of the program.
Section 3:1 Starting the program
All private food charities must become part of this program (based in nations in the WA) but they can retain their name but must be a satellite to the program.

All in all, it's looking better, but still not quite there in my opinion. Going forward, though, please put the current version in the original post, with the previous drafts listed underneath (in the same post) under spoiler(s). This is mainly a way to keep people wanting to give input from having to search through the thread to find the current version.

Socialist States of the World wrote:Ok, here is a new version of the bill.
Plan for a world food program.
Section 1: Outline
Section 1.1: Purpose
This law is to run a World Food Program. All members of the WA must supply funds and accept food from this program.
Section 1.2: Funding
This program is funded by a four way program: Nations supplying to money (to pay for food, transportation of the food, and other necessary costs), farms, shops, and other food distribution areas will be required to donate excess food to local food program dispensaries, private funders supplying funds, and fundraising for the program through grassroot means.
Section 1.3: Localities:
Each town or district (for sparsely populated areas) will have a dispensary for people to make food donations or for people to pick up food. This is mandated. These localities can be in office buildings or in set-up canvases.
Section 2: Legalities
Section 2.1 Local laws
This document applies to all nations that are apart of the WA. In order to take part in this program, a nation must join the WA in order to receive funds. Section 1.2 applies to new members.
Section 3: Starting of the program.
Section 3:1 Starting the program
All private food charities must become part of this program (based in nations in the WA) but they can retain their name but must be a satellite to the program.

Attempted Socialism wrote:OOC: Comrade, your proposal is all kinds of illegal and cannot be voted on (It won't reach the floor at all). Seriously, read the rules that were linked to you before you try to revise this again. Ask questions if necessary, but scrap your proposal in its current form.

Socialist States of the World wrote:

Jebslund wrote:
All in all, it's looking better, but still not quite there in my opinion. Going forward, though, please put the current version in the original post, with the previous drafts listed underneath (in the same post) under spoiler(s). This is mainly a way to keep people wanting to give input from having to search through the thread to find the current version.

Section 2.1 is there to mandate that only WA nations can take part. I did this as a way to insensitive new nations to join in order to receive aid. I do really want to affect game play. Like, this will cut hungry nations down. I am going to submit this as a repeal to the Food Welfare Act. I am going to add some things from the FWA in this bill. This bill is going to make this into stone, actually trying to end famine instead of depending on some nations to supply food.

Jebslund wrote:

Socialist States of the World wrote:Section 2.1 is there to mandate that only WA nations can take part. I did this as a way to insensitive new nations to join in order to receive aid. I do really want to affect game play. Like, this will cut hungry nations down. I am going to submit this as a repeal to the Food Welfare Act. I am going to add some things from the FWA in this bill. This bill is going to make this into stone, actually trying to end famine instead of depending on some nations to supply food.

You can't. Repeals can ONLY repeal. They cannot add or modify legislation. Also, the word you are looking for is "incentivise".

Socialist States of the World wrote:

Jebslund wrote:You can't. Repeals can ONLY repeal. They cannot add or modify legislation. Also, the word you are looking for is "incentivise".

Is this a lost cause?

Outlaws governmental actions such as state-based food hoarding and unfair food distribution practices which deliberately produce famines and starvation; also outlaws such actions taken during crises such as famines, natural disasters, and refugee crises that are detrimental to the health and welfare of the people.

OUTLAWS governmental actions such as state-based food hoarding and unfair food distribution practices which deliberately produce famines and starvation; also outlaws such actions taken during crises such as famines, natural disasters, and refugee crises that are detrimental to the health and welfare of the people;

The World Food Program encourages all nations of the world, not just the WA, to invest in more efficient irrigation and drainage technology to prevent crop shortages and wasteful water use; to research plant breeding techniques and soil fertilization techniques, as well as employ crop rotation, and weed, insect, and pest control

ENCOURAGES all nations to research more efficient irrigation and drainage technology to prevent crop shortages and wasteful water use; to research plant breeding techniques and soil fertilization techniques, as well as employ crop rotation, and weed, insect, and pest control;

Socialist States of the World wrote:

Attempted Socialism wrote:OOC: Comrade, your proposal is all kinds of illegal and cannot be voted on (It won't reach the floor at all). Seriously, read the rules that were linked to you before you try to revise this again. Ask questions if necessary, but scrap your proposal in its current form.

Would you like to co-author it with me?