[Draft] Protection Against Open Water Acidification

[Imperium Anglorum]

Your title references, I think, ocean acidification. Your proposal preamble talks about international waters, though it touches shortly on enclosed lakes and rivers that are shared with other nations. This acidification, however is mostly an atmospheric process occurring in reaction to increases in the level of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. You cannot tackle this problem without effectively tackling anthropogenic climate change.

Moreover, you may want to reference previous legislation on the topic. I provide it here in the possibility that it is useful:

Transboundary Water Use Act: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=30&p=11629208#p11629208
Clean Water Act: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=30&p=3123158#p3123158

On a side note, I don't believe we have pollution regulations in the WA at large. It would certainly be something interesting to see, although it would require significant political manoeuvring to avert failure.

[Kenmoria]

"For the “Forbids” clause, “dumping” is a transitive verb and therefore requires an object. You need to say what is forbidden from being dumped for the sentence to make grammatical sense."

[Bears Armed]

OWPA should probably be set up as a branch of WASP.

[Alsace and Lorraine United]

OWPA should probably be set up as a branch of WASP.

Great idea!

[Alsace and Lorraine United]

Your title references, I think, ocean acidification. Your proposal preamble talks about international waters, though it touches shortly on enclosed lakes and rivers that are shared with other nations. This acidification, however is mostly an atmospheric process occurring in reaction to increases in the level of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. You cannot tackle this problem without effectively tackling anthropogenic climate change.

Moreover, you may want to reference previous legislation on the topic. I provide it here in the possibility that it is useful:

Transboundary Water Use Act: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=30&p=11629208#p11629208
Clean Water Act: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=30&p=3123158#p3123158

On a side note, I don't believe we have pollution regulations in the WA at large. It would certainly be something interesting to see, although it would require significant political manoeuvring to avert failure.

I probably need a better title altogether if you have any suggestions that would be great. I will also look over and make the necessary changes proposed in the rest of your address

[Alsace and Lorraine United]

"For the “Forbids” clause, “dumping” is a transitive verb and therefore requires an object. You need to say what is forbidden from being dumped for the sentence to make grammatical sense."

Will do thank you

[Wallenburg]

Believing that the deterioration of international waters would cause industries such as fishing, waterborne shipping, arctic tourism, as well as aquaculture would be crippled, along with the systems that maintain the hospitable nature of international waters such as corals and seaweeds.

Deeply Concerned that the deterioration of national waters, such as lakes and rivers, would similarly cripple fishing and tourism to the surrounding nations as their waters become less and less hospitable.

"Deterioration" is a rather ambiguous word, which could refer to anything from chemical imbalances to ecological decay to changes in salinity or mineral concentration to everyday erosion to surface evaporation. I would choose terminology more specific to the subject at hand.

Alarmed by the ever decreasing pH level of international and national waters alike. The result being more and more acidic waters.

This is a rather irksome statement. Not all nations are meant to exist in worlds nearly identical to present day Earth.

Defines "contamination" as the act of lowering the pH level of water to unnatural standards through means of pollution or chemical additives.

Please clarify that this definition exists only for the purposes of this resolution.

Forbids the act of dumping in international waters except in the cases of:
a. Objects jettisoned from aircraft or watercraft in the interest of the life of the crew in emergency situations,
b. Objects too toxic or dangerous to be held upon solid land such as highly radioactive materials, chemical weapons, or explosive materials,
I. Objects such as these must be secured and confined within containers to minimize the risk of leakage or Compromisation.

Can you explain how dumping affects ocean acidification?

Requires that member nations refrain from contaminating waters used as drinking sources for nations.

You just banned fossil fuels. Congratulations.

[Kenmoria]

"Perhaps you could re-use one of the two existing committees about water rather than creating a new one."

[Alsace and Lorraine United]

You just banned fossil fuels. Congratulations.

Very confused how so

[Kenmoria]

"The third subclause for the “Forbids” clause has incorrect labelling; it is done as I not c."

[Zone 71]

Requires that member nations refrain from contaminating waters used as drinking sources for nations.

This mandate is so broad that it essentially prohibits all dumping of industrial wastage in waters that could be used for drinking, and the maritime extraction of resources such as fossil fuels.

[Kenmoria]

"You are missing a full stop on the antepenultimate clause."

[Wallenburg]

You just banned fossil fuels. Congratulations.

Very confused how so

Carbon emissions cause the pH of water bodies to lower, and you prohibit member states from doing things that lower the pH of water bodies used for drinking water. That requires a ban on carbon emissions and, thereby, fossil fuels.

[Alsace and Lorraine United]

Very confused how so

Carbon emissions cause the pH of water bodies to lower, and you prohibit member states from doing things that lower the pH of water bodies used for drinking water. That requires a ban on carbon emissions and, thereby, fossil fuels.

Thank you will make edits to address this thank you for elaborating

[Kenmoria]

"It is common to number your active clauses, to make them easier to refer to and aid clarity."

[Alsace and Lorraine United]

Draft 3 is up

[Kenmoria]

"You are missing a line break between clauses 5 and 6."

[Alsace and Lorraine United]

"You are missing a line break between clauses 5 and 6."

Fixed thanks

[Kenmoria]

"You are missing full stops on clauses 8 to 11."

[Masurbia]

1. Defines "contamination" for the purpose of this proposal

This should say, "for the purposes of this resolution..." As if this gets passed, it's no longer a proposal.

[Kenmoria]

"2c should end with a full stop."

[Alsace and Lorraine United]

1. Defines "contamination" for the purpose of this proposal

This should say, "for the purposes of this resolution..." As if this gets passed, it's no longer a proposal.

fixed thanks abassador

[Kenmoria]

"There should be a colon after the main body of clause 2."

[Alsace and Lorraine United]

"There should be a colon after the main body of clause 2."

Done thank you

[Kenmoria]

"In clause 1, “co2” should be “CO2” to keep it in line with the rest of the proposal."